Stylish Celebrity Escapism
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May 5
'06
James Blunt is very poorly endowed

You're pitiful. It's, um, true.
We obviously dislike James Blunt and zealously report negative news about him. The latest is that the woman he cheated on his hapless now-ex girlfriend with says he has an itty bitty peter:

WORD of advice: Never cross Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Just days after revealing that James Blunt is a lousy lover, the posh babe has dropped a big hint why - he hasn’t got much to crow about the manhood department.

Tara, 34, who now calls the Brit winner James c*** after he reportedly slept with her behind the back of girlfriend Camilla Boler Tara stormed: “Let’s just say the whole experience was small in every sense of the word.”

Blunt broke up with his girlfriend over the phone after lying to her and saying he didn’t cheat with Tomkinson.

Tomkinson also says Blunt has been trying to contact her, but that she’s not going there again. Maybe Jessica Simpson will get word of this and let go of her foolish crush on the untalented singer.

Posted in James Blunt, Music, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
May 3
'06
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn’s new home outside Chicago


The Mirror claims to have an exclusive today that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have bought a mansion in a Chicago suburb, but we read about it several days ago at Bricks and Stones.

The Mirror reports:

The stars, who have been dating since they filmed The Break-Up last summer, have spent the past five months searching for the perfect lovenest away from Los Angeles.

And they found it in the posh Chicago suburb where Vince grew up…

Standing on 7.5 acres of land, the mansion boasts nine bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, a garage that accommodates six cars and a huge double-height, woodbeamed hall where they can entertain their friends.

According to our spy, the pair are overjoyed that they’ve finally found their perfect home - and that it’s far from the showbiz world of Hollywood. “Jen and Vince have spent ages looking for the right place and when they found this, they knew it was perfect,” says a source close to the couple.

“It’s in a quiet, private neighbourhood and Vince is so well-liked there that he and Jen are hoping they’re just going to be allowed to keep a low profile and get on with their lives.

Bricks and Stones even had these lovely interior photos of their new home.

Now that Jen and Vince have officially shacked up, maybe she’ll be more secure about their relationship. She supposedly asked him to call off a movie project that would have him filming in England for three months, because she didn’t want to be alone.

Posted in Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
May 3
'06
Nicole Richie partially owns up to her anorexia


Nicole Richie admits she’s thin in an upcoming interview for Vanity Fair, and confesses that she has seen a doctor and a nutritionist about it:

THE SIMPLE LIFE star has opened up to style magazine Vanity Fair, admitting she shudders at the thought of young women trying to obtain her skinny look. Richie accepts her slimline look can be a concern and admits she has a weight problem in the publication. She says, “I know I’m too thin right now, so I wouldn’t want any young girl looking at me and saying, ‘That’s what I want to look like.’” But she insists her weight problems are not connected to an alleged eating disorder, and she’s doing whatever she can to take control of her health. She adds, “I started seeing a nutritionist and a doctor… I do recognise that I have a problem, and I want to be responsible and fix it, and I’m on that path right now.” But even her doctors aren’t convinced the star isn’t anorexic. In the upcoming Vanity Fair article, one of her medics, JEFFREY WILKINS says, “If it’s not anorexia, she should be able to gain the weight. If it ends up being anorexia we can help her with that.”

[via]

About two weeks ago, Richie said she realized she was thin, but was nonchalant about it.

Richie wears a red string bracelet on her right hand, a symbol of anorexic pride. It seems like she’s perfectly aware that she doesn’t eat but is in denial about how severe it is and won’t admit it outright to the press. At least she’s trying to get help, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work and therapy.

In related news, there is a picture of supposed coke residue after Nicole Richie left a bathroom stall, but the evidence is unconvincing and seems fabricated.

Here she is in La Quinta, CA at a Coachella Party. We realize that Taryn Manning is holding a little pipe in one of the pictures since everyone has pointed this out. They’ve also noticed that Nicole seems to have lost some her hair. Hair loss is a sign of anorexia.

Pictures [via]

Posted in Nicole Richie, Weak, Weight Loss

Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
May 2
'06
Pink says blowjobs are disgusting and that she doesn’t give them


Pink has said that she found it endearing that her husband, Carey Hart, threw up with her in a bid to win her affection. She also said he could pee in his hand and offer it to her as a gift and she would think it was sweet.

Given all the crap she says along with her reputation, it seems pretty odd that she would call an average sex practice disgusting and say that she’s lazy in bed:

The feisty singer, who is married to motorcross champion Carey Hart, has revealed she doesn’t indulge in certain sexual activities.

When asked about oral sex, she reportedly said: “My God. That’s disgusting. I don’t do that”.

The ‘Stupid Girls’ singer - who is currently involved in a war of words with hotel heiress Pairs Hilton after she included a spoof portrayal of the blonde’s notorious sex tape in her latest music video - went onto admit that although she is more than happy with her husband’s sexual prowess she doesn’t do much work in the bedroom.

She added: “I’m too lazy to go on top.”

She must be trying to get press again because she hasn’t been quoted in over a week. Surely she’s not serious. Sharon Stone would vehemently disagree and would consider her at risk for rape! If this is true, we feel sorry for her husband. She can strip for him but she can’t do her wifely duty.

Posted in Pink, Sex, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         1 Comment »
Apr 27
'06
Teri Hatcher wants your pity


Every relationship advice book I read when I was single said that the best way to get guys is to live it up, have a great time, and not act like you’re desperate. You’re supposed to date more than one guy, not open up too soon, and make them chase you. The way Teri Hatcher is going, she’s going to be single for a while or she’s going to end up in a lame codependant relationship.

She told her story about being violated by her uncle as a child in a partial bid to get back at George Clooney for not changing his stripes to stay with her for more than a month. Now she’s going to release a memoir chronicalling her sad love life.

* Her second marriage, to actor Jon Tenney, held on for nine years, but was so devoid of passion they didn’t even make love on their honeymoon. Hatcher claims to know exactly when their 8-year-old daughter, Emerson, was conceived, because she and Tunney “had sex once that year, on Valentine’s Day.” A rep for Tunney didn’t return a call by deadline.

* After their divorce in 2004, Hatcher set off on “a parade of bad dates.” There was a handsome millionaire who was “already in a long-term relationship with cocaine.” There was a freak obsessed with prostitutes. And there was a “creepy lawyer” who offered her “$50,000 to go to a convention with him. Like an escort!…”

“If I thought getting divorced was going to open up an arena of endless sexcapades, I was wrong,” she says. “I never thought I’d be [over] 40 and have no one to go to dinner with, nor someone who loves me and whom I trust, but here I am. Sad but true.”

Meanwhile Teri injured her eye on the set of Desperate Housewives after a lightbulb exploded, scratching her cornea. She sounds rather sorry for herself in her statements about it:

“I was taken to a wonderful eye doctor, and now am wearing a most glamorous eye patch over the right half of my face.

“I like to look at the positive, and the good news is the cornea is the fastest healing tissue in the body.

Teri - this is not the way to get men! You have to fake it until you make it. Please cheer up and look at the positive. Some people still think you’re sexy, but your attitude just ruins it.

Here she is with her daughter and ex husband at a horse event two days ago. [via] The guy must realize that he dodged a bullet.

Posted in Teri Hatcher, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Apr 26
'06
Tom Cruise says that tabloids that mock him have sad reporters


Tom Cruise has said that the gossip columnists who make fun of his erratic behavior are simply unhappy people:

He explains, “When I look at the people who write or say these things, I realise it’s not a lot of people doing it. “It’s just a few people, trying to take advantage of sensationalism.” The actor claims a few interviewers have tried to bait him into combative statements or behaviour, but insists, “You just have to be who you are.” He adds, “Because when I meet these people, they really seem unhappy to me. And that’s too bad. Because I’m happy.” The media glare has become so overwhelming recently that the star has been forced to have bodyguards accompany him to all of his press interviews. Cruise adds the attention, “seems to come in phases. This just seems a little more intense lately.”

Tom may have been referring to a recent interviewer who dared question Scientology’s ability to cure the reading disorder dyslexia, from which Tom admittedly suffers.

The conversation was all smiles until reporter Bjorn Benkow insisted that experts say that dyslexia cannot be cured by Scientology as Cruise has claimed. There was an awkward pause, then Cruise burst into laughter. “I’m going to, in any case, admit that you have the courage of a madman,” according to our translator. “This is something no journalist has dared say to me face-to-face. . . . Scientology is a religion without divinity. Its teaching is a spiritual liberation from life’s problems that can only be reached through advice, courses and deep studies. Your cynical media colleagues cast doubt over all the good that we do by spreading a bunch of hocus pocus about us.

Tom then got pissed when the reporter mentioned Kidman and his adopted children and stormed off. At least the re are foreign journalists willing to state the obvious about Scientology. Tom certainly can’t stand to be challenged, although he does give fabulous quotes!

Saying that someone is motivated by unhappiness is an obvious oversimplification. It’s like a mom telling her grade school child that the bully is jealous of him. Cruise should stick to vague, happy quotes and try not to get upset or bring any more attention to the fact that he looks like a fool to everyone.

And here he is at a press conference for Mission Impossible 3 in Rome, and at the London premiere last night. Yes, he did attend, and supposedly Katie gave him permission.

Other stars pictured at the press conference and premiere include Keri Russell, Michelle Monaghan, Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his supposed girlfriend, and Maggie Q.

Update: Cruise spent 4 hours talking to fans outside of the MI3 premiere in London last night!

Posted in Cults, Movies, Premieres, Tom Cruise, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Apr 25
'06
Paris Hilton cried to get out of a ticket


Maybe Paris Hilton can act. According to the Swedish newspaper, Aftonbladet, the hard-partying heiress cried to get out of a ticket for driving without a registration for her new car:

Paris Hilton visited several nightclubs the night between thursday and friday. The wealthy heiress drove around in her brand new Mercedes SLR - worth almost half a million dollars - when she suddenly was pulled over by the police. The reason was that her car didn’t have a valid registration for the state of California, which technically gives the police the right to tow the car. But according to several witnesses, Paris started crying real bad, which made the female officer feel sorry for her and eventually give in. Shortly after, Paris could drive away with only a warning.

So Paris didn’t even get a ticket for driving with an unregistered vehicle. She’s had the car for about a month, so you think she could send one of her minions to the DMV for her. Here are some pictures of Paris getting a parking ticket, so she’s at least suffered that indignity.

Here’s a German commercial for online yellow pages featuring Paris ordering some rolls:

And here are pictures of Paris celebrating her boyfriend Stavros Niarchos III’s 21st Birthday Party at Tao Night Club in Las Vegas on 4/22. [via]

Update: pictures of Hilton at the opening of the “replay” clothing store in LA last night. Brandon Davis is launching his line of jeans at the new store. Davis is a former friend of Hilton, and spoke out against her last year, calling her a racist. Nick Hilton also attending the opening.

Paris will host a rock concert at an Austrian ski resort this weekend, and will have to introduce Pink to the crowd. Pink mocks the skinny heiress in her video “Stupid Girls.”

PARIS HILTON will travel to the ski resort of Ischgl, Austria, on Sunday. While she’s sure to get in some exercise, some posing, some dating, she is actually there to serve as the host of the Top of the Mountain concert series. Among her duties, she’ll introduce rocker Pink, who closes the concert.

Posted in Brandon Davis, Fashion, Nicky Hilton, Paris Hilton, Parties, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Apr 6
'06
Jessica Simpson pulls Junior High level pranks


Jessica Simpson is so juvenile that she can come up with no better way to exact revenge than to crank call the woman who used to date her ex husband.

Simpson reportedly hates Kristin Cavallari and Star reports that she has been crank calling her!

“Jessica got hold of Kristin’s cell-phone number and got a real kick out of making crank calls to it.”

Though a rep for Jess denies the story, the source claims: “She’ll ring Kristin up and just say nothing or try to order pizza or Chinese food and talk in different accents! She’s even gotten some of her friends in on it. The pranks are harmless, but I think Jessica likes knowing that she’s irritating Kristin in some way.”

We did this shit in seventh grade, remember? The fact that she tries to do accents makes it even lamer. Jessica you’re supposed to do real damage to the woman who’s dating your estranged husband. But he’s with MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo this week, so you didn’t even pick the right target.

Here’s Simpson at Barneys in LA today with her ever-present hairdresser, who is either carrying most of her bags for her or was more successful at shopping today.

Pictures [via]

Posted in Jessica Simpson, Photos, SmartSmartSmart, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Apr 6
'06
Daniel Craig can’t even play cards

you know you want to see it ladies
It looks like the only card Daniel Craig can play is the nudity one, because he doesn’t know how to play poker:

When film bosses realised Craig was clueless at the game they flew an expert to his Berlin hotel to give him some last minute tips. An insider told The Sun newspaper: “Daniel could not play cards - it was so funny. It is a critical part of the film, where Bond shows how cool a customer he is. But it was frustratingly ridiculous how long it took to teach the cast how to play or behave at a poker table.

“Everyone at the hotel has been laughing about a Bond who can’t play cards.”

Let’s revisit Craig’s various other public failings as the shortest, blondest Bond:

  • He can’t drive a stick shift
  • He hates guns (This is a personal preference and is not damning, just interesting.)
  • He had his teeth knocked out while filming his first fight scene
  • He got prickly heat from a sunburn
  • His on-set requests include: “wet wipes, baby lotion and two nail files.”
  • Speedboats make him sick to his stomach

    Despite the fact that he’s quite obviously a wuss, Craig is amazed that he’s become the new gay icon.

    On the other hand, Craig sports a six pack and has no qualms about getting naked or filming graphic sex scenes.

    It might even out, and we’re willing to sit through the film for a glimpse of his goods.

  • Posted in Daniel Craig, Weak

    Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
    Mar 29
    '06
    Busta Rhymes is a closet case and a premature ejaculator

    Busta Rhymes' O Face
    Any guy who freaks out in the presence of a gay man has something to hide. In this post-Breakback era, celebrities should be media-savvy enough to know when to play it cool. Busta Rhymes stuck his foot out of the closet this weekend by throwing a fit when a gay guy dared to touch him on the shoulder:

    The drama unfolded at the 11th Street Diner, which is next door to gay club Twist, early Sunday morning. “The restaurant was packed with transvestites, gay men and drag queens, which obviously made Busta a little edgy,” eyewitness Thomas Barker e-mails. “This became evident when a young gay guy came up behind Busta and tapped him on the shoulder to congratulate the rapper on his recent comeback. Before the guy could even mutter a word, Busta turned around and repeatedly screamed, ‘Why the [bleep] you touchin’ me, man? Get the [bleep] away from me’ . . . his two huge bodyguards then caused an even larger scene by pushing the kid away . . . Busta quietly whispered to his bodyguards, ‘I hate [bleeping] faggots, man.’ “

    Busta also recently made the mistake of bragging about his lousy performance with Nicole Richie.

    The guy needs to shut up and be nice if he wants a career. No one likes a homophobe. We don’t think it’s wise to fuck and tell either, and hope Wilmer Valderrama’s career also takes a shitter.

    Posted in Busta Rhymes, Weak

    Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
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