Renee Zellweger has reportedly told Nicole Kidman that all country stars who like to make money are terrible husbands, or something like that:

What about Keith being an alcoholic, not just a workaholic, and an ex-drug addict and philanderer?

The source is some random British magazine, and most of the British rags make shit up wholesale, so we don’t really believe this. It sounds like something a gossip writer would come up with.

Meanwhile some priest who claims to have advised Kidman and Urban on their wedding is said to be revealing private details about it.

Someone made that priest up, because no clergy member would give their real name and reveal details like that to the press. Maybe we’re grumpy today, but people want to get news about the Urban-Kidman wedding and are just pulling this out of their asses.

Nicole Kidman is supposedly withholding sex from her fiance Keith Urban until he marries her on June 25th:

This sounds made up, but it’s pretty funny and we’re prone to believe it. Kidman is Catholic and probably thinks that she can make up for lots of premarital sex by pretending it never happened for a little while.

While Urban’s publicist did confirm his engagement with Nicole right after she announced the news, he was reportedly pissed off when she made it public and doesn’t feel ready to get married. It also seems as if Nicole and Keith have had problems in their relationship, with some reports saying that Keith wanted time off a little over a month ago. There’s also a rumor that he’s drinking a lot and sleeping around.

Withholding sex from a guy is a dangerous way to pique his interest in you, and Nicole is probably trying to hold out for a while in the hope that Keith will realize what he’s missing. This reminds me of an Eddie Murphy sketch where he compares lack of sex causing you to go crazy for a woman to being really hungry and thinking crackers are delicious. It might work for Nicole, but if Keith is getting his kicks elsewhere this strategy will backfire.

In related news, Bette Midler has denied that she’s been asked to sing at the Kidman-Urban wedding.

Denise Richards maybe didn’t cheat with Richie Sambora, but she definitely snatched him right up after urging her neighbor and best friend, Heather Locklear, to divorce him. Now she’s rumored to be planning a wedding with the Bon Jovi guitarist!

Denise seems like a needy person who can’t deal with being single. She followed Sambora on tour like a puppy after he said he was single during a concert, and she made the dumb move of having her publicist confirm their relationship. We hope this isn’t true and she’ll think twice before jumping into marriage again. Her first one didn’t work out so well, and she’s not even divorced yet.

Heather’s going to flip when she hears this, and she’s sure to do something much worse than driving by Denise’s house playing loud Bon Jovi tunes.

Some far-away pictures of Adrianne Curry and Chris Knight’s wedding on Saturday Monday in her hometown of Joliet, Illinois have been released.

Curry and Knight had a reality-tv courtship and were married in a ceremony Curry described as “gothic,” although her dress was anything but:

Curry and Knight met on Season 4 of VH1s reality show “The Surreal Life,” which puts C and D-list celebrities together in a house for ten days. Curry is the winner of “America’s Next Top” model season one, while Knight played Peter Brady on the Brady Bunch. I actually watched most of the episodes of “The Surreal Life” that season, and was suprised that Knight, 48, went for Curry, 23, because she chased him unrelentlessly and he initially expressed misgivings about it. Her looks must have won him over, because her personality was pretty annoying.

Here’s a recap of “My Fair Brady” on VH1, a reality show that aired in the fall of 2005 about Curry and Knight’s relationship and engagement. Looks cheesy to me.

And here are the far-away wedding pictures. [via]

Star Magazine says that Tom Cruise has postponed his nuptuals to Katie Holmes, pending her complete submission to the cult of Scientology:

This seems like speculation from a former Scientologist based on his experiences with the cult. If he still has ties to the community and people are blabbing about Cruise’s plans for Katie, it could be true.

It could be bad news for the doe-eyed actress and new mother, whose identity has already been completely changed during her relationship with the crazy half pint. On the other hand, if Katie is being forced to submit to more Scientology bullshit that means she’s resisting somewhat. If she doesn’t buy into the cult wholeheartedly Tom isn’t going to marry her. If the cult keeps pushing her she may get fed up enough to leave. According to her prenup she’ll get a sweet deal even without marrying him and she may get her life back in the process.

Last weekend Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott were married in a private ceremony on an island in Fiji attended by just the two of them - and a professional photographer. The couple had a large June wedding planned and the invitations were already sent out. They supposedly didn’t tell anyone and decided to have a ceremony on the spur of the moment - but, oh yeah, they staged plenty of photo opportunities so that they’d have pictures to sell to People magazine.

The pictures are accompanied by cliched quotes from Tori and Dean about their wedding, like:

Trite details are included about the ceremony and reception, in which Tori and Dean did dumb shit just for the cameras:

How annoying is that? When “celebrity” couples get married on a private island, you’re supposed to be spared the details and the pictures should be far away and blurry.

Tori Spelling is widely rumored to be pregnant, which would explain the rush wedding and Tori’s pouchy stomach.

Dean McDermott’s ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, says that McDermott left her for Tori just two months after they had adopted a baby girl, and that he didn’t give her essential money for bills. Mary Jo Eustace may not be the victim she makes herself out to be. She’s shopping around a book proposal for a tell-all about her failed relationship with McDermott, and has sold several stories to the tabloids.

These pictures were published in People magazine. When better scans come out, we’ll replace them. [via]

Life and Style Weekly is reporting that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were “married” in a wedding ceremony following Namibian custom. The ceremony may have sentimental value, but it is not recognized by US law and is not legally binding.

It sounds like someone made this up, like most of the non-stories about the Jolie-Pitts. They’re also supposed to be starting their own housewear line using local Namibian crafts.

Meanwhile Angelina is supposedly causing Brad to fear for their unborn baby’s health by running off and picking fruits and berries with the women in the village. I sincerely doubt they’re hanging out with the locals except for pre-approved photo opportunities.

If they did get “married” in Namibia, why aren’t there stories about it in an African newspaper? It just doesn’t seem like they could keep it a secret to only be leaked by one source, even with the crackdown on the paparrazi.

Until the baby comes, there’s probably not much real news about the Jolie-Pitts and someone is making this crap up.

Update: Pictures of Angelina and Maddox in Swakopmond, Namibia [via]

About two weeks ago we mentioned that Charlize Theron was wearing an engagement ring while at a Lakers game with her boyfriend, Stuart Townsend. As far as we know, no one else really noticed and it didn’t get any press.

Now A Socialite’s Life has a rumor that Theron and Townsend are getting married this weekend in Savannah, GA:

If this is true, congratulations to Theron and Townsend! They’ve had a rough go of it, but Charlize played coy and landed her man.

The National Enquirer is running an exclusive that claims that Keith Urban has called off plans to marry Nicole in order to focus on his sobriety. They claim that Nicole had a fall wedding in Tahiti planned, but that Urban canned it and wants time off from the relationship:

This doesn’t seem true to us for a few reasons. First of all, Nicole may not have been wearing her engagement ring while she was in the Hamptons, but she was seen with a plain gold band that looked suspiciously like a wedding ring.

From what we heard, Nicole was planning a summer wedding in Australia, not a fall wedding in Tahiti. The Sun reports today that Nicole has set the date for June 25th, beating Tom and Katie’s expected 4th of July wedding.

Urban may have wanted some time away, but it sounds like a temporary thing, and the “insider” may have been reporting old news. They made a reference to the CMT awards, which were on April 10th, nearly a month ago. Keith spoke of Nicole specifically at the CMT awards, in what was viewed as his first public admission of their relationship. Plus, Nicole could be pregnant and has been seen with what may be a growing baby bump.

Hopefully Nicole and Keith will get married soon and put all these silly rumors behind them.

Avril Lavigne wore horizontal stripes again in an attempt to foil the cameras from capturing her growing baby bump at the Hot Hollywood awards. She also wore a horizontally striped top to the earlier “Volvo for Life” awards ceremony on April 12th.

Life and Style speculated that Avril is pregnant over a month ago, and Avril’s friends say she wants children right away. She plans to marry her live-in boyfriend, Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, this summer in a traditional church wedding with a rocking reception.

Avril has lent her name to a list of media-savvy artists who are against the recording industry’s strongarm tactics to try to “protect” recorded music. She and Deryk have joined the Canadian Music Creators Coalition to speak out against DRM locks on music files, and the practice of suing fans for music distribution.

Here is Avril at the Hot Hollywood Awards on Wednesday night. More pictures from the event are at alavigne.com.br.