In early January, Ashley Tisdale wrote an essay in The Cut calling out members of her former mom group for their “mean-girl” behavior. Everyone immediately figured out that she was talking about Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, Meghan Trainor, and a bunch of other wealthy, non-famous women. Most sources said the breakup was a “long time coming.” Hilary’s husband, Matthew Koma, shaded Ashley on Instagram, but the other women didn’t make any comments about it beyond a TikTok post from Meghan claiming she had no idea what was going on.
Hilary finally broke her silence in late February, saying that Ashley’s version wasn’t true. In April, Meghan told Us Weekly that she was never really a part of the group and that Ashley had apologized for dragging her into it. Now, it’s Mandy’s turn to speak out. Andy Cohen asked her about it during an interview on Watch What Happens Live to promote her new movie, The Breadwinner. Mandy said the whole ordeal really upset her. She also said that she would have handled it much differently. From People:
“It’s wild to have anybody talk about your life, and I know Hilary [Duff] has sort of mentioned this too. It’s like we both have grown up in this business and had people dissect who we are and the choices we make and all of that, but this was something altogether different and decidedly way more upsetting,” she said. “It just cuts to the core.”
“The most important thing in my life is being a kind person and like that legacy of kindness, and anyone even insinuating that that might not be the case, and with the company that I choose to keep is very upsetting,” she added. “I’d say that was the biggest takeaway, sort of the shock of like, ‘Wow.'”
While she admitted to being “really scared by confrontation,” Moore explained that she’s a “huge proponent” of communication when her feelings are hurt, or she needs to get something off her chest.
“It’s not always like the most comfortable of situations, but I think that’s where I sort of differed in feeling like I wouldn’t have handled the situation this way,” she said. “I think the biggest takeaway from that whole ridiculous debacle … is that I feel like it just sort of it perpetuates this silly trope that women can’t be supportive of one another and that we’re inherently petty and that we’re inherently out to one-up each other, and I have not felt that one iota since becoming a parent.”
“I’ve actually been so surprised by the meaningful relationships I found with other moms and other parents just in general,” she continued. “That has always been my takeaway, and you need that. You need community. You need to find that support wherever you can get it. You need to be able to talk about all of that.”
Mandy’s answer was way better than Hilary’s vague, non-answer. While Ashley has every right to share her feelings, I would have handled the situation differently. No matter how hurt I felt, I wouldn’t put a bunch of famous former friends on blast like that. I also prefer to communicate and am not afraid of confrontation. A reality TV podcast that I like once mentioned that all contestants have some form of “Main Character Syndrome,” where they all think they are the star of the show. That’s totally true in real life, and it’s what happened here. Both sides had issues and drifted apart. Ashley felt she was being left behind and decided to speak out. We’ll never know the full story, but I would still love to know what Hilary thinks “wasn’t true” about what Ashley said.
Photos credit: Jennifer Graylock/Avalon, Faye Sadou/Avalon, Getty Images and via Instagram
I side eye anyone who feels the need to mention how kind they are. So deep side eyeing Mandy Moore
Yes! So much ink spilled over how damaging the beauty talk is in fairy tales, ignoring that the “and everyone loved her” is equally toxic and impossible.
Please. They need to get over it. The older I get the less time and patience I have for this celebrity self-involvement and entitlement. I would say nobody cares, but I did click on the article. Bad me.
This is fairly jaded of me, but my first reaction was whether this was some attempt to get attention via some faux reality TV-style posturing about a fake conflict and then all the discussion about said fake conflict. I’m sure that several of this bunch have money stashed away from earlier years, but most of them have not been relevant for a very long time. Now they’ve gotten media clicks and I’m sure they’ll be other interviews, appearances on momcasts, etc., that puts them back in the public eye. I mean Meghan Trainor just cancelled her recent concert tour and she’s been more known for shilling, plastic surgery than anything involving talent just by way of an example. Perhaps I’m being overly cynical and I should just go and have another coffee…
I knew Mandy looked somewhat different, and that it wasn’t just the weight loss. It was also her eyes that looked different. As someone who had an upper blepharoplasty, I could spot it a mile away. I went back and looked at her eyes from a few years ago. Yep.
A total of zero people involved in this nonsense seem sympathetic.
Maybe Hillary’s vague non comment was the way to go? Just a “no comment” and stay far away from that mess.
She looks almost unrecognizable. Way too much work done, imo.
I know the impulse to write this off as petty drama is strong but it kind of resonates with me. I was the first in my wide circle of friends to have a child and was kind of astonished at how hard I found my daughters kind of affluent elementary school mothers group was to navigate. I’ve always been very gender positive, totally down with my sex but these women were a different breed entirely. I think throwing children in the mix only makes it more fraught. Battle lines were always being drawn and demands to pick sides. Not my kinda scene. I quietly withdrew and decided my older friendships were easier.
Again this stuff can be tedious but I find it triggering as well. I’m so glad I’ve aged out of that mess
Yeah, I think this stuff shows that no matter if they’re wealthy or not, famous or not, boomer or Gen X or millennial or Gen Z or whatever generation, certain types of women will always create a toxic mommy club.
I noped out of all mommy club type of friendships.
I know having that sisterhood is so needed when you’re learning how to be a mom. (And you never stop learning, no matter how old your kids are.)
My mother died not long after I had my firstborn so I never had her support. I don’t have sisters, just some former stepsisters that I didn’t really know. So the mommy club type of friend group was appealing to me, but it quickly turned toxic.
Instead, I became really close with a neighbor, as well as a coworker who became like a mother to me. When we moved to Washington we were closer to my in-laws and my MIL became my biggest supporter and I’m so grateful for everything she did for me.
So I’ve never had a mommy club who were my peers. My support system ended up being all women older than me.
It was exactly what I needed.
Mom groups are tricky to navigate. Our school doesn’t have one that I view as “toxic” but it does have some that are very hard to infiltrate – the three groups seem to be Preschool A, Preschool B and then Girl Moms. (my son’s in fifth grade and there is a large core group of girls that are good friends – maybe 10 or 12? and have been since 2nd grade or so. There is not an equivalent group for the moms of boys.) My boys didnt go to either preschool and they’re not girls, so I dont really seem to fit in, because those groups are all essentially closed. My older son is in 8th grade and the preschool groups still hold pretty strong and I’ve never really fit in with those groups. Soccer is where I’ve made most of my friends as a mom. And theater. Because honestly I love theater moms. They can get a bad rap (and some of it is deserved) but they can also be very welcoming and supportive.
Well i’m saying the mom groups aren’t toxic but the Girl Mom group might be because I know those girls pretty well and there is a TON of drama and I think a lot of it spills over from the moms (who made the play, who made which soccer team, etc.)
And maybe the inability to welcome new people into the group even after 9 years is its own toxicity, lol. I never thought of it that way though.
My biggest takeaway is that she really loves the word “takeaway.”
LOL – that’s my takeaway.
Had to go back and re-educate myself on what this whole story was about, which involved clarification on who Ashley Tisdale was excluding from “toxic” description (Mandy, Hilary, Meghan). Truthfully, have virtually no knowledge about anyone in this group, except I’ve seen Hilary on TV and knew Meghan said nasty crap about schoolteachers. So I’m not willing to give Meghan any slack since she’s dissed virtually every female in my extended family by hating on public schoolteachers. And frankly I don’t care that Meghan has “so-called apologized” to teachers, because what kind of person, even in the heat of the moment of talking about gun violence in schools, says “F— teachers, dude,” – how rude is a person who expands their limited experience of a few bullying teachers to universality, even to the point of blaming teachers for gun violence? Eh.
Group dynamics are complicated, and it seems even more complicated for digitally based groups. Many of us have been purposely excluded from certain combinations within friend groups and sometimes it’s our fault. Sometimes not. Why is Mandy keeping this group drama public? Dunno since Tisdale excluded her. Movin’ on.
She was so beautiful and now she looks different 🙁