Kim Kardashian reshot scenes to make herself look religious & impress Tebow

You know, I’m really starting to feel sorry for Tim Tebow. Not only has the guy dealt with Katy Perry’s parents trying to set him up with their daughter, but he’s had to suffer through Perry dedicating lewd song lyrics to him about his “Peacock.” In addition, Tebow has been fending off the advances of Kim Kardashian, which he politely declined, but she hasn’t gotten the message. Everyone knows that Kim — with her sex tape, Playboy spread, and two divorces — has no business trying to get into Tebow’s pants; well, everyone knows except for Kim herself.

Even though she reportedly has sworn off football players, Kim hasn’t given up on bagging Tim, and his resistance has seemingly only stoked her desire to get in his good graces. Now she’s walking around wearing cross necklaces, Tweeting about starting a bible study group, and doing the church-buddy thing with LeAnn Rimes. It’s so transparent, but she really believes that Tim (and the rest of us) are stupid enough to believe her act. Now this week’s issue of OK! is all about Kim “pray[ing] for a chance” with Tebow, whom she’s been targeting for months, and she even went so far as to reshoot some later episodes of “Kourtney & Kim Take New York” to highlight her (fake ass) religious values and pious nature. Really.

How many times have we seen it happen? In the wake of a cataclysmic event, somebody gets religious. And so it seemed (to some skeptics, at least) with Kim Kardashian. The reality diva’s disastrous 72-day marriage to basketballer Kris Humphries unleashed a tsunami of bad press — chiefly, she was accused of weddng Kris for commercial reasons — and seemed to damage her brand.

And now, Kim is firing off Tweets like this one: “On my way to church with the girls!” she said to her almost 13 million followers. “I want to start a Bible study group with my friends!”

Inspiring, isn’t it? Except that some insiders say Kim’s sudden display of piety may have an ulterior motive: that the sex-tape icon, 31, is trying to sack Tim Tebow, the super-religious Denver Broncos quarterback — you know the guy who kneels and prays on the field — and self-proclaimed 24-year-old virgin.

“Anyone who knows Kim knows what she’s up to,” a source tells OK!. “She thinks Tim’s hot and she knows dating him would really boost her image. And Kim could really use some help in that department.”

Kimbow? Tardashian? Clearly Kim has a thing for sports stars; aside from Kris there was her great love, NFL star Reggie Bush. But hooking innocent Tim requires more than the standard play.

“If he were just the average athlete, Kim would pull the same move she used on Kris,” the first source tells OK!, adding, get front-row seats to his game and send a message to the locker room with her number. But Tim’s different. She can’t just use her sexuality.”

And so Kim called on a higher power. “She set her sights on Tim months ago,” the source says. “She shot extra scenes for ‘Kourtney & Kim Take New York,’ making sure she emphasized her Christian beliefs.

Another insider who’s close to Kim isn’t so cynical, arguing that her spiritual side is — ahem — well developed and that it plays into her attraction to Tim.

“Kim thinks Tim is a dream,” the insider tells OK!. “She appreciates his courage to weather criticism about being publicly religious. So I think Kim is inspired by that act of bravery. As for the bible study, that’s nothing new,” the insider adds. “Her family was very committed to their spiritual ideas — very Catholic.”

Ah, but will it be enough? “Kim’s not Tim’s type at all,” a Tim insider tells OK!. “He likes down-to-earth girls who aren’t high maintenance. And the sex tape is the type of thing that grosses him out.”

Still, you can’t completely count Kim out. Says the source: “When she decides she wants someone, she goes out and gets him.”

[From OK!, print edition, February 20, 2012]

This story is completely believable. Kim’s already been busted reshooting scenes of “Kourtney & Kim” to make herself look more sympathetic while pretending to agonize over the decision to divorce Kris Humphries. Also, that unnamed source who insists that Kim and her family are incredibly spiritual and devout Catholic? To state the obvious, that sounds a lot like a source named “Kris Jenner.” We all know how Kris dreams of controlling the tabloids, right? The really funny thing about Kim’s obvious maneuver is that she assumes that Tim would even watch her show in the first place.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

 

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98 Responses to “Kim Kardashian reshot scenes to make herself look religious & impress Tebow”

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  1. Lis says:

    Um. Wow.

    There are some occasions when the jokes just write themselves.

    There are some occasions when someone is so pathetic and delusional that it becomes mean to make fun of them.

    So I’ll just say that I really like her red dress.

  2. Bluebear says:

    I despise the “R” word, but I’m gonna have to concede that they nailed it with “Tardashian”.

  3. Asli says:

    Right about now I can hear hysterical laughter. I’m wondering what it is. Oh, right! It’s Timbow, dying from laughter while he and his locker-room buddys talk about what a complete, desperate mess/joke Kim Kartrashion is.

    I agree, though my opinion is a little more than strongly worded.

  4. Lee says:

    The Kardashians are catholic? Didn’t Kris Jenner start one of those pseudo-Christian Churches and that is the ‘charity” that gets most of the kardashian “charitable monies”??? Plus, that72 hour marriage wasn’t conducted by a priest either. If she’s so catholic, it would have been a catholic priest conducting the ceremony.

    • Relli says:

      That’s what i was thinking too. While Catholics are Christians not all Christians are Catholics. AND there is no way that Kris Jenner’s church is Catholic, because the leader would not be a pastor but a priest. This is just an odd statement. But good god i feel bad for Tim too. Ladies just stop. When this man picks a bride she isn’t going to be the one who was visibly throwing themselves at him.

      • Pia says:

        Right? And I was under the impression that Evangelicals are not “compatible” with Catholics and do not consider themselves all one happy family under the name of Christianity. I picture Tebow finding some little blondie 21-year old that is as virginal as he is and would make a good housewife. That is NOT Kim K.

      • ol cranky says:

        and don’t forget, Kim’s such a devout Catholic her first marriage was annulled, she and Kris are shown completing pre-cana in her show and they had a catholic mass at their wedding. .. right?

    • skipper says:

      I thought armenians were usually orthodox or something. similar to catholocism.

    • OhMyMy says:

      That struck me as odd too when I saw the word Catholic. I was raised Catholic and one thing we do NOT do is start our own churches. We wouldn’t dare!!! Catholics may stay in the church, lapse completely (raises guilty hand) or find another church to join. I’ve been in the company of devout Christians that had no problem bashing Catholics (or any other religious group). The two don’t necessarily mix.

    • YUCKQU says:

      Yes.That so called “church” is a kris jenner enterprise. This so called family are a bunch of sleazyfake grifters.,but the transparency of their trashy deludedness is astounding.

  5. whatthehell456 says:

    Tebow needs to join the witness protection immediately. NOW.

    I really don’t care for TT, never really heard of him before this season of NFL, but I would hate to have him sucked into the black hole that is KK’s life. Hell, I’d hate for ANYONE to be sucked into the abyss of KK’s life.

  6. Kara Ann says:

    You know, I’m loving Tim right now b/c by doing absolutely nothing, he’s making Katface into a laughingstock!! Just random folks cracking up at the VERY IDEA that he’d get with that.

  7. smith says:

    Guy in bluejeans, blue hoodie and jacket must be a bodyguard or “ass-safety inspector” or something (he’s in a lot of photos) and I can just hear what he’s thinking:

    “Holy hat, why does this cow get so much attention? What has happened to this world? Wait how much am I making again? Is it worth it? This job depresses me. I. HATE. HER. I’m gonna quit. I’m just gonna do it. That’s it, I’m outta here, man. Wait I can’t there’s the kids and I just bought that new car. God, she’s gross and smells like used beef, melted plastic and AXE for Women. I hope she trips. Maybe I’ll quit next week. Someone help me. Sigh, I’m so sad.”

    Yes, blue hoodie guy, we hear you and we are sad too.

  8. Petunia says:

    I think it’s just a desperate grab for publicity. Pair KK’s name with TT’s because KK’s has become tarnished lately. So if she gets some quick publicity using his name, more money is generated. Also, she and her mom know TT would never go for Kim, so it’s just a cynical attempt to make Kim look more reformed and less sleazy than usual.

  9. Muffy says:

    Mercifully, I don’t think he would give her the time of day. He seems like a nice guy and hopefully he’ll find a nice down to earth girl, and hopefully Kim’s 15 mins are about up, I hope. She looks like she could star in a military movie about women to avoid to keep from getting the clap!

  10. rachel says:

    she is SO DESPERATE AND PATHETIC

  11. Mark says:

    Like she is WAY TOO OLD for him.
    If she were any older she could possibly be his “Teen Mom”.
    Sadly enough, it’s not even about a real interest.
    It’s just another episode in the fractured mind of Kim Kuntrasian.
    It amazes me that just having money gives people respectability. The fact that they managed to Grift Millions makes them something to emulate.
    A very sad commentary on now low our society has fallen.

    • HadleyB says:

      she is old for him ..and for all her “sex” appeal she has in the media ..she seems bland and boring in bed.

      Just lays there kinda girl… (yawn) and don’t pull my hair.

      Sometimes those shy, religious boys are really dirty boys in bed ( where you want them to be a dirty bad boy!).

  12. Tweakspotter says:

    Did they say “..very Catholic”!!! I just spit out my coffee lmao! B*TCH PUH-LEASE!

    • ataylor says:

      She is in no way Catholic. Catholics don’t have pastors, they have priests and most certainly dont start their own churches. But ironically, she DID actually go to to a Catholic school. She and Kourtney graduated from Marymount High School near UCLA in the 90′s. Maybe that’s where the idea came from?

  13. Little Darling says:

    God forbid this vapid pile of melting Botox actually do something CREDIBLE and KIND to boost her image. Step outside of her vacuous self and actually make a difference for no other reason than trying to help people. It’s insane, and redundant, hearing about how this waste of celebrity continues to try and date this poor man to “up her image”.

    You want to “up your image” Kim? Strip yourself of the shalackled makeup and do
    Something that in no way has to do anything with you, your ass or your fame. Do that for awhile. Maybe then will you get the right kind of respect and appreciation.

    Trying on religion isn’t funny, nor is it genuine. She smells of desperation and delusions.

    • irishserra says:

      You are absolutely on the nose with your comment!

      Being a kind, generous, loving human being takes looking beyond your own wants and considering those needs and desires of others. I don’t think any of the Kardashian girls were raised in a way that would allow them to even comprehend this concept, which is really, REALLY sad if you stop and think about it. Kim Kardashian probably honestly believes that a few documented good deeds will bring about self-improvement in the eyes of others, and she’s never had anyone around her to explain how life really works. If you truly love your children, your spouse, your friends, etc. wouldn’t you teach/remind/show them that sincerely giving (not your body, KK) will make you a happier, more successful person? So, so sad…

      • CookieJar says:

        “Kardashian probably honestly believes that a few documented good deeds will bring about self-improvement in the eyes of others”

        She is right, unfortunately. Why do you think she still makes all this money? Even after the divorce scandal, I didn’t hear about any of her gazillion endorsment deals being called off or anything. It always works. I gave up hope that her 15 mins are up after all this. No, because she gets more attention than ever, which equals more money.

      • irishserra says:

        Well, Cookiejar, then I guess it speaks to how incredibly sad and pathetic her fans are then, as well. Doesn’t surprise me. The mere fact that someone out there decided to put this freakish family on the television speaks volumes, as well as the fact that she has so many followers.

        I know my griping is pointless, as in the end, the ones who make the decisions don’t give a fig.

  14. brin says:

    Kim has one true love who is with her always and forever….the camera(kamera).

  15. Jaxx says:

    Oh yeah, Kim, the man eating tiger who has been AROUND is just what a virgin wants to disply his innocence in front of. And besides Catholics don’t mix with other kinds of christians. And vice versa.

  16. Zigggy says:

    She is so disgusting! I remember when Paris Hilton was constantly in the news and the tabloids and I bided my time until she faded away- and she did, and it was awesome.
    Kim, you are fading away, so f*ck off and just go with it.

  17. Tiffany27 says:

    I don’t understand why no one has told them that in order to save their images they should just go away? Seriously. Just sit down somewhere and don’t move. The more we see you the more annoyed we are with you.

  18. Rita says:

    The sad part in all of this is that Kim supposedly has 13 million twitter followers. Apocalypse Now!!!!

  19. Leek says:

    I find her to be such a disgusting parasite.

  20. Incredulous says:

    Someone’s thrashing around, trying to keep in the public eye.

  21. chiarascuro says:

    Seriously, does she think Tebow watches her stupid show??

  22. logan says:

    As I said on another blog, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Courtney Stodden, Leeann Rimes and Brandi Glanville have to be the stupidest ho’s on the west coast. Like a litter of cats who need fixed.

  23. bee says:

    Another BS tabloid story, especially coming from OK! Magazine.

  24. lucy2 says:

    I’m sure her pea brain wondered why he was so famous all of a sudden, and someone told her he’s religious, so instantly she’s religious now too. So desperate!

    I love it when celebs think everyone else is as stupid as they are.

  25. Skins says:

    Is she insane? Tebow would cut off his left arm before he had anything to do with that used up piece of filth. Pathetic

  26. the original bellaluna says:

    I’m just surprised she didn’t burst into flames when she put on that cross.

    And the Kartrashians are NOT Catholic. Hell, I don’t even think they’re Christians.

    Pimp Mama Kris started that faux Church of Second Chances (patron saint: Our Lady of the Perpetual Fame-Whores) as a tax deduction.

  27. BabyCakes says:

    She looks like she’s drowning in that white coat.

  28. susan says:

    I thought Kris Jenner had started her own “church”????

  29. NO SH¡T says:

    The only thing Tebow will get from this hoe is herpes!

  30. rachel says:

    I watched the NFL awards sunday night where Tebow was there and Alec Baldwin made a joke about the Kardashians ruining all NFL players and they cut to Tebow and he was laughing and clapping.

    Hope Kim saw that.

  31. Quest says:

    Bahahahahahahaha *sniff, sniff*

    hahahahahahahahaha OMFG!

  32. Agnes says:

    There really is no bottom to how pathetic this woman is, is there? Every time I think she’s scrapping the bottom of the famewhoring barrel, she comes up with new shit. Bravo, actually. Haha.

  33. Newtsgal says:

    As I have said before, being a LONG time Gator fan. No way, no how would Tebow have anything to do with that trashbag. His beliefs have been apart of his life for his whole life. He didn’t just wakeup and decide to be a Christian…..*side-eye to Kim*.
    If the party animals and hotties at UF couldn’t brake him, I’m sure that he is strong enough to avoid that famewhore.
    If and when he does settle down it will be with a good girl who shares his beliefs and charity work. Someone who doesn’t have to be in front of a Kamera, someone he would be proud to take home to meet his mother & father.
    That famewhore doesn’t stand a chance!

  34. skilo says:

    OH Kim, you fake ass whore. You are so transparent. Keep dreaming and scheming Kimmie it’s never gonna happen.

  35. dorothy says:

    Well now she just looks pathetic and desperate. God, she’s just another Lohan.

  36. pattygirl says:

    That’s as funny as Courtney Stoddard going to church with her hubby and Mom on a Sunday dressed like a wh*re.

  37. Barbie2.0 says:

    Are u really gonna steal my comment from last night and turn it into a story now

  38. TG says:

    She should go for Kobe. He appears to like skanks.

  39. e.non says:

    damn, is she really that stupid/delusional/clueless that she thinks she can tap tebow. i find his whole schtick tiresome; but on this one, i’m hoping he can do something to publicly humiliate her when she makes her move.

  40. herci says:

    I think that somewhere Paris is having someone read this to her, because let’s be honest she can’t read, and laughing. :)

  41. eternalcanadian says:

    Okay, is this whacked out chick serious? Like Father Tebow would even be tempted by her? This guy went to college and we all know what horndogs college kids are! Then he’s in the NFL. And hello, what do they have in the NFL that’s like NHL puckbunnies? Pigbunnies? Sorry I don’t follow football so not up with the lingo. So if pigbunnies can’t get Tebow to drop his trousers then really, Kim? Seriously? All this stuff Kim is doing to try and look pious or whatever–cross necklaces, church with a homewrecker (LeeAnn), etc., she’ll have better luck on the new Bachelor Canada! :P

  42. Kim says:

    I find this somewhat hard to believe. The KarTRASHians are delusional yes but Kris isnt a stupid business woman and she knows Tim wouldnt touch her whorebag, gold digger daughter with a 100 ft pole so surely she would be telling Kim to set her sights on someone who will at least be seen with her for the publicity.

    No guy worth any salt will date or marry Kim. They may use her for sex & publicity but no one decent will put a ring on it. She is considered a toxic joke to celeb men.

  43. Kim says:

    LOL just imaging Tims parents esp his mom going oh yeah sure honey we really want you to date Kim. They must be cracking up @ her!

  44. Madisyn says:

    Anyone notice how this whore only dates men MUCH younger than her? Of course, she does this for CONTROL. She’s almost 32, so men who are in that bracket or even up to 5 years older wouldn’t abide by ‘her rules’.

    Did anyone see Kourtney and Kim Take NY? Talk about ‘control’. If I was going out of town and told my boyfriend/husband he couldn’t have a party in HIS OWN HOUSE, he’d laugh me right out the door. Or he couldn’t go out on the town while I was out of town, again I wouldn’t be his girlfriend/wife for long. Do you think an older man would put up with this behavior? Of course not, thats why she chooses younger men, more plyable!

  45. ldel says:

    What is there to even say anymore? She is SUCH a joke.

  46. ClumsyMe says:

    I thought she went to the church that her own mom started. I remember reading something about that and event that she donates money to that church. They never said anything about being Catholic. And speaking as someone who was born and raised Catholic, she is not a devout Catholic. With all the things she has done so far in life according to the Catholics she would be in hell right about now.

  47. OhMyMy says:

    Hey I’m in Denver. Tim if you need protection from the K klan give me a call. I’ll be more than happy to be a fierce pocket-sized nana bodyguard for you. I totally believe in a no-Kardashian-zone.

  48. NinaG says:

    I busted out laughing when I read the title alone…LOL. This is just too funny, I hope it is true, this will def. be the icing on the cake to try and impress a man who is religious when you are famous for having a sextape. But maybe Tebow actually practices what he preaches, Forgiveness and not judging one for their past…Who knows?

  49. Anthony says:

    Oh yeah, these mutants have always showed their Christian beliefs since the first time they appeared from outer space.

  50. Ogechi says:

    Team KimTim and they will make cute babies.

  51. MST says:

    Tim, if you’re reading this, my daughter is beautiful, very devout, and not high maintenance (well, not TOO high maintenance). CALL ME!

  52. CeeCee says:

    for the love of Christ (pun intended) Kim, just f*cking go away!!

  53. Owen says:

    If Tim touched her, his dick would fall off. Why would anyone risk Herpe’s by being within earshot of her. Or is it dickshot?