I’m guessing most drivers can be accused of a bit of road rage now and then. Before I moved to New York, I found screaming really, really helped. And when it would bother my passengers, I’d explain that it was really the most polite thing I could do, because the alternative was to chase the *$%#@* down and assault him. So really I was showing the utmost restraint and decorum.

And while a lot of people have their own little coping mechanisms for the frustrations of the road, very few of us get out of our cars and wander about the highway during an infuriatingly long traffic jam. But I’m also guessing that very few of us are hopped up on a myriad of illicit substances: and those are two things that set us apart from Amy Winehouse.

When Amy Winehouse gets stuck in a traffic jam, she gets out of her car and saunters about in exasperation, displaying all sorts of bizarre behaviors for the paparazzi to eagerly snap.

Where Amy Winehouse goes, chaos follows. The troubled star caused something of a spectacle on the M40 today after she found herself stuck in a traffic jam.

Not content to sit patiently in her car, the Rehab singer roamed the motorway, giving drivers more than they bargained for as she went from car to car in an effort to scrounge a lighter for her cigarette to pass the time.

At one point she pulled up her purple vest to bare her midriff as she did a spot of sun baking while leaning on the bonnet of a car.

In a troubling sign, the 24-year-old’s arms were covered in fresh scratches and cigarette burns, thought to be the result of self-harming.

[From the Daily Mail]

That’s nice of the Daily Mail to insinuate that Amy was just trying to get a bit of healthy color on her deathly white stomach, but that doesn’t appear to be what she’s doing. From the expressions on her face, I’m pretty sure she’s hallucinating, and likely trying to ward off some demon spirit she thinks she sees by blinding them with the brightest of white lights.

Here’s Amy wandering the M40 in a quest for a lighter today in Oxfordshire. She really is one of the people. Images thanks to WENN.

Poor Lindsay Lohan. It must really suck to have karma bite you on the ass. La Lohan has been acting like a drunken spoiled brat for the last several years, and it’s finally getting the best of her. She hasn’t had a successful decent movie since Mean Girls, and hasn’t gotten any press for doing anything good since about that time. You never hear anyone say, “Lindsay Lohan did such a nice _______.” You do hear them say, “Lindsay Lohan ran over a guy’s foot,” and “Lindsay Lohan stole a random girl’s $11,000 fur coat.” I’m pretty sure next week you’ll hear, “Lindsay Lohan went to Disneyland and kicked Donald Duck in the crotch, just to see him cry.”

Lohan’s reputation as a poor actress with an even poorer work ethic has finally caught up with her. She’s been un-attached from the Charles Manson film she was scheduled to shoot – all because no one wanted to work with her – even no-name celebs.

Lohan has been un-attached from the independent feature The Manson Girls, written and to be directed by Matthew Bright, and produced by Elie Samaha, Donald Kushner, and Brad Wyman through Junction Films. Production was slated to commence in early July for five weeks in Los Angeles, and everybody was pleased that Lohan was attached back in March. (Some may, or may not, view this true life crime film for her as hitting bottom. Lindsay was to play the part of Nancy Pitman, a pampered surfer girl who became enthralled with Charlie Manson.)

But people associated with the movie told agents that Lohan quickly became more of a deficit than an asset when they discovered that they couldn’t find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her. (And even some name actors…) So now Lindsay is off the pic — but not for the excuses being circulated. Let this be a lesson… Behaving badly may get you on the covers of celebrity-obsessed mags and tabloids. But Hollywood won’t tolerate your shit and shouldn’t.

[From Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Rush & Molloy also mentioned that after she was dropped from the film, Lohan was spotted downing tequila shots with Lauren Conrad. Getting publicly plastered with a “reality” T.V. star? I’m not sure who should be more embarrassed to be seen with who here. You’d think reality TV actresses would be the lowest on the Hollywood food chain… but I’m pretty sure that Lohan is forevermore at the bottom of any list anyone could make.

Here’s Lohan leaving a meeting with the producers of a new film ‘Labor Pains’ in Los Angeles yesterday. Wonder how long before they “un-attach” her from their film. Images thanks to WENN.

I used to optimistically hypothesize that Amy Winehouse’s life was getting better, if for no other reason than the fact that she had stopped roaming the streets of London at three in the morning in bloody ballet slippers. Well if possible her life is in even bigger shambles now than it was last summer.

Amy’s had multiple arrests in just a few short weeks, and seems to have given up even trying. You could easily ask yourself, “Wait, she was trying before?” Well, I mean trying for Amy Winehouse. I mean the woman actually spent a day sans beehive. That’s got to be indicative of some type of deep identity crisis or a form of psychosis for her.

After being formally arrested in London yesterday for her legendary performance on her crack video, Amy proceeded to wander around London at four in the morning. She took a jaunt over to a gas station to load up on some healthy snacks, chatted with photographers, and queried them as to what her next tattoo should be. You know, just like all normal celebrities.

If Amy Winehouse was at all concerned about her second arrest in as many weeks, it certainly didn’t show as she roamed the streets 4am this morning.

The troubled singer left her Camden home in the early hours to dash to a petrol station where she collected supplies including magazines and drinks, chatting happily to photographers during her outing.

With her trademark beehive wrapped up in a red bandanna with her husband’s name emblazoned on it, the ever-erratic singer asked the paparazzi for suggestions for a new tattoo.

It was just hours after she visited a London police station by appointment yesterday afternoon before being arrested for possession of Class A drugs and later released on bail.

[From the Daily Mail]

I really hate to say it, but it seems like Amy is on the absolute brink. To say she’s spiraled out of control is such a massive understatement. And while you never ever want to acknowledge that someone could do some serious harm to themselves, it seems like Amy is just a step or two away from total destruction.

Though she’s certainly gone through hard times before, you would hear a lot about her family – especially her father – at least trying to help her, however unsuccessfully. It showed that she had some form of emotional support. Now you hardly hear a word about them, which makes you wonder who Amy’s got left to rely on. Someone needs to look out for her – clearly she can’t do it for herself.

Here’s Amy just a week ago. Look at the dramatic change in her appearance during just seven days time. Images thanks to Splash.

Diddy was on Ellen today and she set up a taste test for the mogul in honor of Cinco de Mayo. (Video below) Diddy has developed his own vodka for Cîroc and receives half of the profits. He said in a press conference that his partnership with Cîroc came after a year of negotiations and that he “wanted to build a brand that represents the art of celebration.” He said vodka is his drink of choice and that he wants to stand behind his brands.

Diddy explained to Ellen that he wants a smooth drink and you want to “preserve your sexy” and that’s why he’s a vodka fan. Ellen put out a taste test with four shots of vodka for each of them with the bottles covered by boxes. Only one of the four was Diddy’s vodka. He realized quickly that his vodka wasn’t the first one, because he made a face when he did the shot. The second two vodkas were hard to tell apart, and he faked like he was getting drunker after each shot. Ellen played it cool and looked amused. He joked with Ellen that her shots must contain water. When he got to the last shot he spit out the vodka, and quickly realized it wasn’t his. It came down to picking which of the middle two shots was his brand and he got it right! He picked his own brand over Ketel One, which he said was also pretty smooth. The first vodka was Absolut and the last was Popov or another cheap brand.

The whole exchange was pretty fun and although Diddy is known for being arrogant, combative and a player he definitely is talented at representing a product.

Cîroc vodka is superior according to Diddy and is not more expensive than its competitors. Cîroc runs at around $30 per 750 ml bottle while Ketel One is only slightly cheaper. Flavored versions of Absolut are similarly priced. I would buy Diddy’s vodka at least once after seeing this video. The man does his job well.

Here’s the video, thanks to rockers94 on Redlasso:

Diddy is also starting a chauffeur service for drunken celebrities, and it sounds like he wants to get them coming and going if he has a vodka brand too.

Here’s Diddy getting his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame Friday. Thanks to PRPhotos.

David Hasselhoff served as a judge on the competition show “America’s Got Talent,” and according to the tabloids this week he came away with more than a paycheck and some much-needed publicity. 55 year-old Hasselhoff was seen at Coachella with 29 year-old singer and harpist Corina Brouder, who was a contestant on the show. The two are said to have stayed at the same hotel while they were away at the music festival and Hasselhoff even went to one of her live performances last month:

The American’s Got Talent judge spent the weekend with former contestant Corina Brouder!

“David had his arms around Corina at one point,” says an onlooker at the show on April 27. “They were flirting and acting very much like a couple.”

Corina, 29, a harpist and singer from NY, was saved from elimination during the show’s 2006 season when David, 55, chose her as his wildcard pick.

She didn’t grab the top spot, but David remained a fan of her music…

While David’s rep says the two are just friends, romance may be blooming. “Corina stayed in his hotel room,” says the insider.

[From In Touch, print edition, May 12, 2008]

David Hasselhoff has been in alcohol detox more times that I can keep track. He spent the Christmas holidays in rehab after an intervention from his family, but has been in detox since. He’s had a longterm girlfriend who stood by him through the tough times, but maybe she had enough and couldn’t take his ongoing addiction problems.

Hasselhoff was said to have behaved like he was wasted during a taping of America’s Got Talent on April 2 in which audience members said “he made no sense,” and seemed “messed up.” He fell asleep at the judges’ table at one point, putting his feet up and closing his eyes. [From In Touch, print edition, April 21, 2008]

Maybe the Hoff has found new love with a much younger woman, but given how he looked at Coachella it doesn’t seem like he’s beaten his demons yet. He had bruises around his eyes and generally appeared wasted.

David Hasselhoff is shown at Coachella on 4/25/08, thanks to WENN. Corina Brouder is shown in a still from her website.

Once in a while, some celebrity comes up with some really great but really obvious idea. Okay rarely does that actually happen. But there certainly are a few exceptionally entrepreneurial celebs out there – and Sean “Puffy” Combs is one of the biggest. Puffy was on Jimmy Kimmel’s show the night, and said he’s starting a chauffeur service for drunken celebrities, to keep them off the road. It’s hard to tell if he’s joking or not – Kimmel seems to think he’s teasing, but Puffy seems to be talking seriously. He stole my idea, but whatever. If it keeps Lindsay Lohan off the streets, I’m fine with it.

As he mentioned in the clip, P-whatever-name-he’s-calling-himself got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday, and told people that he’s ready to make his way into acting.

“I think that it’s important for me to mature and evolve as an artist,” Combs tells PEOPLE at the From Harlem to Hollywood! ceremony honoring his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. “I’m trying to get my Black Bruce Willis on.”

Despite being accustomed to A-list treatment, he’s looking forward to starting at the bottom of the acting totem pole. “I’m trying to get Michael Bay to shoot me, have a hot soundtrack,” Combs said, “But I also realize I have a lot of work to do as an actor and I gotta prove myself.”

[From People]

I think “I’m trying to get my Black Bruce Willis on” is one of the single greatest quotes I’ve heard in months. Say what you want about the guy, he’s the personification of the entrepreneurial spirit. And pretty soon, he may be saving lives – and dozens of celebrities from jail time. Except for Screech. But I think we’re all okay with that.

Amy Winehouse’s life has spun so completely out of control that she’s no longer able to work on her music anymore. At least if you ask her longtime producer and friend Mark Ronson. He worked on her Grammy-winning album “Back to Black,” and the pair had been in the studio off and on for the last month or so, trying to record the theme to the upcoming James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. However Mark had to scrap the plans, saying that Amy isn’t able to record music anymore.

Mark, 32, said: “We did work on it but we never finished it. I don’t think it will happen unless by some miracle it gets recorded and someone sings on it. I’m not sure Amy is ready to work on music yet.” The pair began collaborating on the track at Mark’s studio in Henley, Oxfordshire, last month but their sessions soon deteriorated.

Amy is upset that Mark, a key figure in her career who masterminded her second album Back To Black, has spoken publicly about their problems. And pals fear the rift will have long-term consequences for the troubled 24-year-old. One said: “Mark has always had a really good influence on Amy. He brought out the best in her and cared for her on a personal level.

“On a professional level he seems to be the only person who can get her into the studio. Without him encouraging her we’re worried.”

Amy’s spokesman said: “Mark presented a track to Amy, but she had other ideas about the direction it should take. We’re sure they will continue to make great music together.”

[From the Sun]

Everything else in Amy’s life has fallen apart. Until this most recent development, the only thing you could say Amy had going for herself was that at least she still had her music. Now that that’s no longer true… how much further does she have to fall before she officially reaches “rock bottom?” I’m not sure what’s left to get her to that point, except for more of the same.

When you list the things that normally bring a person to some sort of realization that things need to change, you normally think of things like overdoses, hospitalizations, fights, arrests, losing connections with family – all things Amy has gone through multiple times. Aside from the very worst, what else is left to happen here?

Here’s Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse performing at the Brit Awards on February 20th in London. Images thanks to WENN.

Nick Nolte’s girlfriend introduced him to a strange way to stop drinking. She invited her Hare Krishna friends over to their house and they started having drum circles and chanting. The four principles of the Hindu Hare Krishna movement are strict vegetarianism with no meat, fish or eggs, no sex for non-procreation purposes, no gambling and no intoxication which includes alcohol, caffeine and tobacco. Nolte, 67, was photographed passed out drunk on the floor of an airport in Hawaii last July, and has had a lifelong battle with alcoholism. The Hare Krishna’s have come to his rescue though, and he’s found that their chanting relaxes him and helps him stay away from booze:

Nick’s live-in girlfriend, Clytie, 39, introduced the star to the Hare Krishna group, hoping they could help him beat the bottle, confide soruces. “As strange as it may sound, the religious cult seems to have done the trick,” revealed the pal.

“The Hare Krishnas come to Nick’s Malibu property at night, hold drum circles and chant for him.

“Nick always joins in, and it makes him feel better. It relaxes him.

“Since the Krishnas came into his life, he’s completely lost his desire to drink.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 12, 2008]

The Hare Krishnas, or International Society for Krishna Consciousness, are one of the most controversial cults in the world. They were exposed in huge scandals in the 1980s when it came out that children were being sexually and physically abused in their boarding schools. They’ve been accused of brainwashing young converts and turning them against their families and loved ones, forcing them to live in abject poverty as slaves to the movement.

Good for Nolte for being able to quit drinking. The Hare Krishnas are dangerous, though, and have been involved in murder and abuse scandals that rival even the more hardcore cults. You wonder how much it’s going to cost Nolte in the long run if he gets involved with a cult.

Nolte’s girlfriend Clytie Lane was once his Pilate’s teacher and they now have a seven month-old baby daughter together.

Update: A lot of people from different sources are vouching for the Krishnas and are saying it’s not fair to judge them based on the rampant child abuse at their boarding schools in the 70s and 80s. A similar child abuse scandal happened within the Catholic Church and it is fair criticism to say that I am biased in this article. The ISCON organization has arguably changed considerably since then and is willing to discuss their past issues with cult experts as well as change their practices.

Here is a discussion thread I found which I think helps explain my original position on this issue. I would still be reluctant to get involved with a group with this type of history.

Nick Nolte is shown on 1/31/08 at the premiere of “The Spiderwick Chronicles” thanks to PRPhotos.

Mitch Winehouse, father to the infamous Amy – is like the British version of Jaime Spears – father to the even more infamous Britney. Even though Mitch very famously told Amy she didn’t need to go to rehab way back in the day (at least according to the lyrics in Amy’s Grammy Award winning song Rehab), he changed his tune a long time ago, as his daughter descended deeper and deeper into addiction… and what seems to be a bit of madness as well.

Now Mitch is telling News of the World that Amy needs to be sectioned (the US equivalent of a mental health hold) and placed in a psych ward – for her own health, as well as the safety of others.

In an exclusive interview with the News of the World, [Mitch Winehouse] said: “I want her sectioned. The situation is getting out of control. I want her off the street.” Dismissing another stint in rehab, Mitch said: “I don’t think being somewhere for six weeks is going to cure her problems. I think it needs far more radical measures. We will take the bull by the horns and deal with it.”

Mitch, 57, revealed: “I’ve been on the phone to Amy’s manager in Los Angeles and he’s starting things rolling. They are going to be speaking to doctors, psychologists and everything else. I want Amy to be somewhere where she will be safe and where no harm can come to her. Obviously as her dad I will try and do what’s best for her. Unfortunately, what I think is best for Amy and what she thinks is best for her are two different things.

[From News of the World]

Mitch acknowledged to the tabloid that he would need a lot of help, and would need to get a psychologist, a medical doctor, and the local health authority along with Amy’s next of kin to agree that she needs to be sectioned. Though it’s not mentioned, in America it seems that Amy’s next of kin would be her husband, who’s currently in jail awaiting trial. Mitch gives the impression throughout the course of the article that he’s the next of kin, though he never directly says so.

It would be really great for Amy if someone stepped in and took control of her life. She’s clearly on the edge, and is obviously a danger not just to herself but to others. Once you assault three men in one night, I’d say you’re a threat.

Mitch also admitted that Amy has been cheating on husband Blake with her manager’s assistant, Alex Haynes, 24. Mitch asked Alex to look after Amy, and seems to feel a bit betrayed by him. But he also admitted it was probably Amy that seduced Alex, and not the other way around. Amy’s mom Janis also confirmed to the Daily Mail that Amy has been cheating on Blake with Alex. And even though the parents don’t condone infidelity, they both seem to like the guy a hell of a lot more than their loser son-in-law.

Janis Winehouse told the Sunday Mirror: “I’d spoken to Alex a couple of times over the phone, but this was the first time I’d actually met him. He’s a lovely boy - gentle and sweet. He really looked after Amy popping out to buy cigarettes, papers, anything she wanted. He works for her manager so their relationship was professional to begin with but if they’ve made something of it, I’m thrilled.

[From the Daily Mail]

And though it’s certainly no big surprise at this point, Alex isn’t the first guy Amy’s cheated on Blake with. According to the Sun, she also cheated with “Good” Blake, who was supposed to be helping her stay sober. Apparently he had his own methods for distracting her from thoughts of alcohol and drugs.

Despite all the cheating, drugs, assaults, arrests, and both partners spending time in jail, Amy has vociferously denied that she and Blake are divorcing - and told a photographer from WENN that everything is fine.

“I ended up having a 10-minute conversation with her on the doorstep. She insisted she is not divorcing Blake. She’s totally in love with him. I said, ‘How are things?’ She said, ‘It’s beautiful. The summer’s come and I can’t wait to get my Blake back.’

“She said to me, ‘You’ve seen us together - and you know how much we’re in love with each other. We’re gonna be together forever. Can you tell the people at the papers to stop writing lies after lies after lies. We’re not splitting up, I don’t have a new boyfriend, I’m totally in love with Blake and I’ll be going to court with him every single day to support him throughout his case. I couldn’t be happier.’”

[From Hollywood TV]

Sounds like they have all the ingredients for a healthy, happy marriage. I’m sure a lifetime of sanity and cuddling awaits the happy couple.

Here’s Amy answering the door to a friend wearing a gold bikini and denim shorts today. Images thanks to WENN.

That Amy Winehouse is one consistently lucky lady. Despite a night in which she physically assaulted two men, did drugs in public, trashed a bar, and smashed her head against a lamppost, she was released from police custody with only a caution – similar to a citation. Winehouse did end up spending the night in jail; however she was not arrested and won’t be charged with assault.

Normally I’d say I hope she’s laying in her nice bed at home, feeling incredibly grateful that she got off so easily. But because it’s Amy Winehouse, I’m pretty sure she’s managed to visit 10 bars in the last 10 hours, partake of at least 7 different drugs, and drink somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 shots. So I doubt she’s sitting at home writing in her gratitude journal.

Amy Winehouse left a London police station Saturday after questioning about reports that she scuffled with two men during a raucous night out. She received a formal police caution for assault. The caution means the 24-year-old soul diva has not been charged, but the incident will remain on the record and could count against her if she is ever charged with a similar offense in future.

Winehouse spent the night at Holborn Police Station in central London after arriving for questioning Friday afternoon. Police said a 24-year-old woman had been cautioned for common assault. British police do not identify suspects who have not been charged.

A statement released by Winehouse spokesman Chris Goodman said the singer “admitted to a common assault by slapping a man with an open hand and accepted a caution. Amy was fully cooperative with inquiries and apologized for the incident,” the statement said

[From the Huffington Post]

I am still a little confused because all the media reports are saying Amy admitted to the slapping of one of the guys – but what about the guy she punched in the lip, and the man she famously headbutted? Perhaps those incidents are still up in the air – or perhaps the police have decided not to pursue them.

This would have been a wonderful opportunity for the Metropolitan police to show Amy that there are direct consequences for her actions, and that you can’t go around headbutting people whenever you feel like it. Yeah I know she was on drugs – but if you choose to take the drugs, all the resulting decisions you make are your responsibility as well. It seems like everyone is missing each and every opportunity to get Amy some sort of help. And I hate to say it, but this just won’t end well.

Here’s Amy before she went to the police station on Friday. Images thanks to Splash.