There’s nothing to worry about with Ali Lohan’s education, y’all. The 15-year-old Ali is being home-schooled, so says mother-of-the-year Dina Lohan. Some were concerned when it seemed like Ali was skipping a lot of school to … you know, to go hang out in Hawaii and go shopping with her sister and stuff. It turns out we shouldn’t have worried, Dina’s taking care of everything. Except that there’s no mention of an actual tutor, so I’m guessing Dina is actually doing Ali’s school lessons herself. Mother of God.

Celebu-sibling Ali Lohan’s taking a serious time out with her big sis Lindsay … but shouldn’t she be in school?

From an extended vacation in Hawaii to red carpets in L.A., the 15-year-old Lohan has been her sister’s favorite post-break-up accessory, leaving many to wonder whether she’s been skipping class for the past, oh, nine days.

But relax, hall monitors: Dina Lohan says she’s got it covered.

“She is home schooled,” Dina Lohan tells the Daily News. “I’m a firm believer in staying in school but, in the business, it’s gotten difficult for Ali to be in school.”

The younger Lohan started studying from home after leaving her Long Island school earlier this year - and she’s using the same program Lindsay took up after starring in “Mean Girls.”

School is “a little tougher for Ali,” says Dina of her youngest daughter, who complained about classroom bullies during an episode of “Living Lohan.”

The aspiring singer, who modeled Lindsay’s hand-me-downs from an ‘07 MTV appearance alongside her sis in Los Angeles on Monday, has repeatedly said she wants to be just like her famous sibling.

“I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does,” she told Teen Vogue last year. “Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you.”

While Ali is currently making the rounds with her troubled sis, Dina insists she’s not trying to make her little girl grow up too fast.

“People are saying I took Ali to a club, which is absurd,” she said, addressing recent reports. “I don’t go to clubs and I wouldn’t take a 15-year-old to one.”
Lindsay, on the other hand …

[From The New York Daily News]

So, yes, we can now assume that Ali Lohan will officially be more screwed up than her sister. I’ve really had enough with this whole family, but stories like this actually renew my sympathy for Lindsay and Ali. They really didn’t even have a chance, did they? With that mother, they could only be this way.

I do have something against home-schooling in general, because I tend to think that everyone has a rotten time in school, so suck it up. I had to, now you should too. But I acknowledge there are some circumstances that home-schooling is better and/or more beneficial for a kid. This is not one of those times. Dina Lohan has pulled Ali out of school to hang out on the beach and audition for porn directors.

Here are Ali and Lindsay shopping in Hollywood on April 21st. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Ali Lohan sure is starting to look a lot more like her older sister. And that’s not a good thing. The two have been spending tons of time together during Lohan’s post-breakup comeback tour. They were joined at the hip in L.A. two weeks ago and were often spotted out shopping. Then they went to Maui with a bunch of Lindsay’s friends last week. And last night Ali was photographed with Lindsay at the Teen.com and LG Haute & Bothered launch party in West Hollywood.

Lindsay looked absolutely wasted – even for her. There’s no doubt she’s off the wagon. She was leering at her poor little sister and even making kissing faces at her. And I can’t help but ask – when the hell does Ali Lohan go to school? She’s 15. Lindsay may need Ali, but Ali sure as hell doesn’t need Lindsay. She’s toxic, and can only harm her sister.

Ali Lohan may score a lot of perks thanks to big sis Lindsay – think nights out in Hollywood hotspots, Beverly Hills shopping sprees and the recent trip to Hawaii where the pair wore teensy bikinis and were photographed constantly. Unfortunately, one thing the 15-year-old starlet isn’t getting from Lindsay is a good role model who’s making positive life choices. Experts say the sibling relationship could actually be harmful to Ali’s mental health.

“If you have an older child who is breaking a lot of the rules and engaging in dangerous and risky behavior, this can have a negative impact on the younger child,” said Dr. Eva Ritvo, psychiatrist and vice chair of psychiatry at the University of Miami School of Medicine. “Adolescents are trying to break away from their family and they don’t always make the best choices. They’re looking for role models other than their parents, and often turn to peers and older sisters, who can have a very powerful influence on the younger child,” she said.

Impressionable Ali can hardly help but notice Lindsay’s partying, stints in and out of rehab, and her skin-and-bones appearance. But how she reacts to those things could go one of two directions, experts say. Some teens with out of control older sibs may copy them, while others fall into the role of trying to protect loved ones from the person. “You either try to outdo or you become a caretaker,” says Dr. Keith Ablow, psychiatrist and Fox News contributor, who founded the website www.LivingtheTruth.com.

“The course Ali is taking appears to be more in the direction of copying than in shrinking from the cameras and the revelry,” he said.

[From the Daily News]

Obviously all the experts are speaking in generalities, but it doesn’t seem like Ali’s got much of a chance of being an exception to the rule. She obviously has no parental supervision. What, Dina Lohan’s not looking out for everyone’s well-being like the mother hen we all know her to be? My jaw dropped too. But Ali’s looking more and more skanky every day, and Lindsay’s looking drunker and drunker. This whole shizz is spinning out of control, and if someone doesn’t do something quickly, Lindsay’s going to take Ali right down with her.

Here are Lindsay and Ali at the Teen.com and LG introduce the Haute & Bothered launch party at the Sunset Tower in West Hollywood last night. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Hardly a week goes by when one of Lindsay Lohan’s parents doesn’t do something to remind us how she was coached from a young age to achieve her unique level of wasteful, underemployed infamy. Dina Lohan’s “why are they censoring me” Twitter account turned out to be a phony, but many people were fooled into believing it was her because she’s not the sharpest tool.

Dina’s latest stunt involves some stupidity mixed with a sense of entitlement and a dose of poor mothering. She tried to get her youngest daughter Ali, 15, into a nightclub. When she was turned away she used the “don’t you know who I am?” line.

When a 46-year-old mom wants to take her daughters out for a special night, a Hollywood nightclub might seem a curious choice. Not so for Dina Lohan, who took Lindsay, 22, and Ali, 15, to Villa on March 25, Us Weekly reports.

“Do you know who I am?” Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali’s age.

“You’re making a huge mistake. Huge!” Lindsay added.

[From MSNBC's The Scoop]

Do you think there is any hope for Lindsay to escape the pervasive, lifelong negative influence of her parents? Could she go to therapy and/or another part of the country and stop shopping long enough to have a fulfilling life? She’s probably spent enough in the past few years to fund her entire family’s retirement comfortably, including her brother and sister. Instead all she’s left with are heaps of designer clothing, handbags, hair extensions, a tumultuous relationship, and a tan that’s slightly less orange than it was last year. Is that any more hollow than the rest of our lives due to sheer volume of wasted resources?

You hear stories about moms trying to get 15 year-olds into nightclubs and you just want to protect their children. If it’s too late for Lindsay, maybe there’s still hope for Ali. She’s probably been in plenty of other bars that haven’t turned her away though.

Ali and Dina Lohan are shown on 10/27/08 at an event for Animal Fair Magazine. Credit: PRPhotos

For a long time Dina Lohan engaged in that time-honored Lohan parent tradition – you know the one, where they make a bunch of excuses for their kid while also blaming the media and personally attacking anyone who had the audacity to point out that there was something imperfect about the kid. This time Dina was doing it about Lindsay’s recent massive weight loss, saying she just needed to eat more McDonalds. Always the healthy solution for diet issues.

Well Dina is finally a little worried – and so is Lindsay’s younger sister Ali. Apparently they’re begging her to move home to Long Island so they can keep an eye on her and make sure she’s eating, in an attempt to get her to gain weight and improve her health.

Lindsay Lohan’s family has begged her to put on weight. The ‘Mean Girls’ actress’ mother Dina and 15-year-old sister Ali want the thin star to return to the family home in Long Island, New York, so they can make sure she is eating.

A source said: “That way Dina and Ali can look after her and stop her skipping meals. It would be the best thing for her. We know it’s stress behind the weight loss.”

But the 22-year-old star - who has reportedly lost nearly 14lbs from her already-slender frame in the past two months - has reportedly refused to leave Los Angeles without her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson. The source said: “She won’t be away from Sam. She’s too insecure.”

Lindsay hasn’t even been tempted by junk food bought for her by her worried sister. The source explained: “For a while, Ali was buying her pizza, fries, chips and all her favorites. But she just sits there, taking a few bites, then picking at the rest. She really isn’t fooling anyone.”

Lindsay’s father Michael Lohan also recently revealed he is worried about his daughter’s weight. He said: “Lindsay goes through her fluctuations in weight for different roles. I’ll talk to her about it - I’ll see what’s going on.” Michael expressed his concerns on social networking website Twitter. In the first of a series of posts seemingly aimed at Lindsay, he wrote: “Eat. please.”

[From Celebedge]

Well If Michael Lohan says he’ll talk to her about it, I’m sure it’ll all be fine. Wait… no. But that’s a great way to make sure Lindsay continues not to eat, in an attempt to piss him off. Hell I hate Michael Lohan so much that I can guarantee you I’d do the opposite of anything he ever asked of me, no matter how detrimental or ridiculous. And what the hell – instead of talking to her, he Twitters? Yeah, I’m sure that’ll really open her up. Moron.

A lot of people believe it’s a lot more than stress that’s causing Lindsay to lose weight. Her past substance abuse issues make most of us think she’s on drugs again. Rarely do I consider Dina Lohan a positive presence, but in this case moving home might be a good idea. If nothing else, Lindsay’s family might finally notice it’s more than stress, and maybe get her some help. I’m sure some of Dina’s “home cooking” will get Lindsay back to her fighting weight in no time. Or whatever it is she does to comfort her kids.

Here’s Lindsay and Samantha shopping for stockings at Wolford in London on Friday. Header of Lohan and her typical meal in London on Saturday. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

No one in the Lohan family is known for their brains. Or their academic commitment. What they are known for is their incessant attention whoring. So it should come as no surprise that young Ali Lohan has decided she prefers hanging out with older sister Lindsay in L.A. to going to classes at her school in Long Island. According to her friends, Ali has skipped so much school that her teachers are wondering if she’s ever coming back.

If Ali Lohan has her way, school would be out - forever! While she’s been spotted parading around L.A. with her famous big sis, a friend tells Start that Our Lady of Mercy Academy in Syosset, N.Y., has been wondering if she plans to walk their halls. But the 15-year-old, who recently enrolled in the private all-girls institution, loves the lure of fame out west so much, she wants to play hooky indefinitely! Unfortunately, the law may have something to say - she’s required to attend classes full-time until she turns 16.

[From Star, February 2, 2009, print ed.]

Yes, Ali can’t drop out until she’s 16, but she could get a tutor. There are plenty of kids who don’t attend traditional schools – many of them in California. If she likes it there so much, it seems to make more sense that she and Dina move. Missing a ton of school to hang out with partying Lindsay doesn’t seem like the best solution. Perhaps living in L.A. full-time and going to school full-time would be better. Then Ali could still be corrupted by Lindsay after 3 o’clock every day.

Worst case scenario, Ali should have a tutor traveling with her if she’s absent from school for long periods of time. Obviously hanging out with Lindsay is a terrible reason not to be in class, but she’s Ali’s sister – there’s no way to keep Lohan from morally bankrupting the girl. With that family, it’s just bound to happen. The best you can hope for is to make the young ones follow the rules for as long as possible, just in case they surprise us and end up doing something useful.

Here’s Ali going shopping with Lindsay and their mom Dina on January 23rd. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.

Lindsay Lohan’s “younger” sister Ali is 15 years old. Or at least that’s what we’ve been told for the last couple years. The problem is that Ali has a certain kind of bone structure that makes her look much older than she is. And not in a sophisticated way, like Elizabeth Taylor or Brooke Shields did when they were younger. There’s something creepier about the way Ali looks old.

Somehow, photographer Jonathan Ressler decided Ali should be included in his “Extraordinary Women” exhibit. This is confusing on a number of levels. First off, Ali is very much not a woman. Secondly, she has done nothing extraordinary. And that’s not an insult – she’s 15, she hasn’t saved the world yet. I mean she’s a Lohan so I don’t expect she’ll ever do much more than spend too much time in rehab, but it’s not fair to hold Ali accountable for what she’s going to do in the future. And last… actually, just her being a Lohan is a good enough reason why she shouldn’t be included as an “extraordinary woman.”

What in the world were the prerequisites? “Must look 45. Must give vague but unavoidable impression of sadness, desperation, and whiskey. Must be able to give camera empty, vacant, chilly stare.” Obviously Dina Lohan’s prints are all over this crime. I have no idea how, but somehow Dina made a photographer go blind.

Thanks to Dlisted for the story idea.

Here’s Ali traipsing around Times Square on a freezing day yesterday. Images thanks to Splash.

In case all the makeup and tight clothing she wears weren’t enough of a sign that she wants to grow up faster than normal, Ali Lohan, 14, told Life & Style that she can’t wait to start driving. She also has her first car picked out, a BMW truck.

“I’m so excited (about turning 16),” Lohan told Life & Style. “I always ask my mom, ‘Can I drive your car in the parking lot?’ And she’s like, ‘No.’

Lohan has another two years before she’ll be able to get a learner’s permit, but she told the magazine she’s got her first car picked out. “I want a BMW truck!”

She might be planning on chipping in for gas money though — Lohan recently filed paperwork in L.A. County Superior Court for a work permit to allow her to record with Maloof Music producers.

The Maloof family owns the Palms Casino in Las Vegas, which was often the setting for Ali and her mom Dina’s reality show “Living Lohan,” which also happened to be a Maloof production.

[From MSNBC's The Scoop]

Ali turns 15 at the end of this December. Under New York law she can’t get a driver’s permit to start driving under adult supervision until she’s 16 and maybe she’ll have moved out by then anyway. Can you imagine Dina in the passenger seat while Ali was trying to learn how to drive? She’d probably sit there chatting on her cell phone the whole time and only look over at Ali occasionally, saying “you’re doing great, baby.” When Ali got into the inevitable accident, Dina would justify it as normal and expected. “What could I do? She really wanted to drive.”

Ali Lohan and her mom, Dina, are shown at the “8th Annual Animal Fair Magazine ‘Canine Comedy” Halloween Pet Costume Party on 10/27/08. They didn’t bring a pet. Credit: PRPhotos

There are really very few people as easy to make fun of as a Lohan. In fact the only challenging part of it is to figure out which one is easiest to make fun of. They all provide their own wonderful strengths and weaknesses. Not as people or anything, but in terms of providing comedic fodder.

Here’s a great example of how desperate for attention Dina and Ali Lohan really are. Last night Animal Fair Magazine (”The premiere lifestyle magazine and website for animal lovers”) had its 8th annual Halloween pet costume party in Manhattan. The event was $50 a ticket for standing room, $100 for a seat at a table, and $2,500 to reserve a table with bottle service. All the proceeds benefited the Humane Society of New York. The only mandatory attire was pet costumes. In terms of humans, they suggested you show up in anything you’d wear to take your pet for a walk on Halloween.

Charming, right? It wasn’t exactly the most A-list event, but it was for a good cause, led to some good photo ops, and the animals seemed to have a good time. But apparently the Lohans didn’t read the invitation too well, because they showed up dressed as pets. And forgot to bring their pet. And were both conveniently slutty, in their own special way.

Congrats, Dina. Even in a room of animals, you’re still dumber than every living creature there.

Shown below are Piper Perabo and Wendy Diamond, Whitney Thompson, Bethenny Frankel and Jill Zarin, Beth Ostrowsky, Nicole Fiscella, Miss Teen USA Stevi Perry, Jill Zarin, and Wendy Diamond attending Animal Fair Magazine’s Pet Costume Party last night in Manhattan. Photographer: L. Gallo. Images thanks to WENN.

Whenever I try to conjure up an image of the most empty, useless person I can think of, the face that normally comes to mind is a hodgepodge of features distinctly recognizable as belonging to the Lohan family. And in case I had any doubt that each of the Lohans is utterly selfish and terrible, I think I’ve found proof positive that they really are.

Remember a few months ago when Michael Lohan’s father passed away? Michael made a big deal out of Lindsay not coming to see her grandfather and somehow made it sound like Dina was keeping the kids away from the funeral – even though Lindsay and one of her brothers are over 18 and Dina has no say over them. However it turns out young Ali didn’t show up for the funeral either. Why? She needed to get her hair extensions done.

If you recall, about a month or so ago, I posted a little thing in here about how Lindsay Lohan skipped the funeral of her grandfather because she was in an argument with Michael Lohan. I said she should have gone and most of you said she didn’t have to. Hey, at least she had some kind of reason for not attending. I mean in retrospect if she had gone, Michael would have probably just tried to sell the photos of it anyway, so he is probably just pissed he couldn’t go out and acquire any more items from the Right Said Fred line of clothes.

But, one person who was also not there was Ali Lohan. Not caught up in a huge squabble with her dad, one wonders what her excuse was for not showing up. Well according to Fox, the reason Ali didn’t show up at the funeral was because she didn’t have time to get her hair extensions done the day before and didn’t want anyone to see what horrible hair she has.

Ummm. I guess we can congratulate her for telling the truth instead of making up some kind of in bed with the flu story. Can you even comprehend how shallow someone must be that they would not attend the funeral of their grandfather because they didn’t have time to get hair extensions? What the hell has this world come to? How vain can a kid get? I’m sure it was a horrific drama for her, but don’t you think that the parent she currently lives with would have at least acted like a parent and told her to get the f**k to the funeral? Yeah, well the mother of the year obviously didn’t do that because she was probably more concerned with how the look would affect her future commissions. She has to make a living after all, and she only has so many kids.

[From Crazy Days and Nights]

With any other family I’d call bullshit on that story, but it’s the Lohans so it’s probably true. How hard can it be to put your hair in a ponytail? Or if Ali were truly stressed about her hair, then wrap it in a bun so nothing’s hanging down. Granted a bun on a teenager who already looks sixty isn’t the best option, but it is what it is. Definitely better than skipping your grandfather’s funeral. I do appreciate that she didn’t make up some bullshit excuse, but holy cow, that’s low. I’m sure that did a lot to encourage familial peace.

Here’s Ali and her hair extensions along with mom Dina leaving Henri Bendels in NYC last Monday. Images thanks to Fame.

Last week it was reported that well-respected manager Johnny Wright offered to meet with Ali Lohan and possibly become her manager. This would have been a huge coup for Ali and possibly led to an actual career where she could be more than just the lead-in to a joke about Dina Lohan. Dina, however, being Dina, completely blew the entire thing for her. She still wanted to keep Ali’s entire manager fee for herself – which leads one to wonder, exactly how she thought Johnny Wright should be compensated.

The whole thing reeked of ego. And though Ali’s camp confirmed that they took a meeting with Wright, his side is now saying that they’ve never met with the Lohans and he’d never consider managing Ali’s career. The response is really terse and it’s clear he’s pissed as hell about something. I’m guessing Dina’s ego and the resulting wasting of his time.

FAMED music manager Johnny Wright is not only saying, “Thanks, but no thanks” to Dina Lohan - he slams her and her daughter Ali in a statement to Page Six. Lohan sources said Wright - who steered the Jonas Brothers and Justin Timberlake to the top - offered to manage Ali’s career. At the time, Dina told us via a rep she was interested and would take the meeting. But forget that.

A scathing statement from Wright’s company states: “Johnny Wright would like to set the record straight regarding his involvement with Ali Lohan.

“Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali’s music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false.

“Wright Entertainment Group has never had any interest or intention of adding Ali Lohan as an artist on the company’s roster, which currently includes Justin Timberlake, Jonas Brothers, Janet Jackson and Ciara amongst others.

[From the New York Post]

That last paragraph implies a lot. Both that Dina is a moron for passing on the opportunity to have Ali managed by someone with such a client roster… and it also is implying that Ali isn’t good enough to be a part of Wright management. Which she definitely isn’t at this point, but part of being a good manager is cultivating a career. Dina obviously has some experience because she managed Lindsay, but I would think it takes a special kind of talent and experience to successfully brand a younger sister in a way that is unique and separate from the older one.

Though they deny ever taking a meeting with the Lohans, it’s pretty clear that Wright is pissed and insulted – not that I blame him. But really, the joke is on Dina. She’s so dumb and full of herself that she has no clue that whatever attention she’s getting is because people are laughing at her stupidity, not admiring her business savvy like she’d hoped.

Here are Dina and Ali at the “Georgia Rule” premiere in May 2007. Images thanks to Fame.