Lindsay Lohan is a grade-A bitch. I realize that’s been her status for a while now, but I’m making it official. I went down to the Bitch Patent Office and filed an application on her behalf – and they sent me through the emergency “speedy” line. Who says bureaucracy can’t work when you need it to?

Lindsay’s ridiculous sense of entitlement has long involved breaking the law. When she’s angry at someone, she steals a car and races through the streets of Los Angeles terrorizing them. When she gets into a fight with a former friend, she steals $10,000 worth of their clothing – and then texts messages the girl to tell her she’s fat. And when she just flat-out wants a stranger’s $11,000 blond mink coat that your grandma gave you – she’ll steal it from the coat check. Because Lindsay’s entitled to any and everything she wants, right?

A Columbia co-ed wants to know how Lindsay Lohan ended up wearing her $11,000 blond mink coat - and is demanding the “Mean Girl” pay for the impromptu rental. Masha Markova, 22, believed she had forever lost the prized jacket - a gift from her grandmother - while attending a private birthday party at 1Oak in the Meatpacking District in the early-morning hours of Jan. 26. The club was closed for a friend of jet-setting playboy Stavros Niarchos, Markova said.

She added that at one point, she was seated next to Lohan, and recalled putting the mink in a common bin with other jackets. It was gone when she prepared to leave 1Oak after an hour, Markova said. Two weeks later, Markova flipped through the Feb. 11 edition of OK! Magazine and couldn’t believe her eyes - Lohan was photographed the night of Jan. 26 wearing the very same fur coat. “I was actually talking on the phone to my grandmother about something else, and then I flipped through the magazine, saw the picture said, ‘I need to call you back,’ ” Markova told The Post yesterday.

“It was my coat. It was no doubt!” The pretty co-ed said that in the ensuing days, she surfed the Internet and found several paparazzi photos of Lohan wearing the distinctive blond coat hours after the birthday party they had both attended. Also, celebrity blogs posted pictures of the actress party-hopping that night - wearing a black coat before she arrived at 1Oak, Markova said.

[From the New York Post]

Markova contacted the owners of 1Oak, who promised her they’d “get to the bottom of it.” Of course she never heard back from them, so Markova had to get a lawyer, who called Lindsay’s lawyer and threatened to sue if the coat wasn’t returned. Miraculously, several hours later the people from 10ak called Markova back, saying, “’We’re going to bring you something.’”

Markova noted that they were very discreet and didn’t mention any names or even say the word “coat.” Two days later, the coat arrived at her apartment – reeking of Lohan stank. That’s right, cigarettes and booze. Though if you ask me what Lohan stank probably actually smells like, I’d have to add in there something about the smell of bodily fluids or something. I’m sure the girl doesn’t limit her sleaziness to cigarettes.

Now Masha Markova wants Lohan to pay at least $10,000 for the unauthorized “rental.” I still think she should pursue some kind of legal action, but I’m guessing it’d likely be a case of “she said/stank said.” It’s pretty clear that Lohan saw something she wanted and just took it. I’m guessing 10ak was involved in some way, since they actually returned the jacket. But it’s obviously Lindsay knew she was taking someone else’s very expensive possession. And while I’m rabidly anti-fur, I will admit that’s a beautiful jacket, as wearing the carcasses of innocent animals goes.

I keep wondering when Lindsay Lohan is going to learn her lesson? I’m sure maturity and intelligence will never grace her with their presence – but maybe some sort of incarceration or some such thing will.

Here’s Lohan wearing the coat in question in New York on January 26th. Images thanks to Splash.

The seemingly endless claims about R. Kelly and his sexual abuse of underage girls are again getting press before his case goes to court this Friday. It seems that a new witness is coming forward, claiming that she had sex with R. Kelly and another girl, who was underage at the time.

In case you haven’t been following it, R. Kelly was initially charged with multiple cases of child pornography in June 2002, following an anonymous donation of a sex tape to the Chicago Sun-Times featuring Kelly and underage girls. The tape was authenticated by the FBI and now the trial should begin May 9 after an incredible series of delays. The woman making the claims says she was once involved in a threesome with R. Kelly and the girl in this tape. In her testimony she will identify the girl, and claim that she was underage at the time.

The Sun-Times has been following the case closely, and here are their full reports.

Prosecutors claim that they have identified the girl in the incriminating tape, while the defense says that it’s not her. The tape mustn’t be of very high quality given all the doubt.

R. Kelly was also rumored to have married his protégé Aaliyah when she was just 15 and he was 27, after she lied about her age to get married. The marriage was said to have been annulled afterwards, with neither artist ever admitting it happened. (Aaliyah died in a plane crash in the Bahamas at the age of 22.) Kelly married dancer Andrea Lee in 1996 and they had three children together. They are said to be in the process of divorcing.

If convicted R. Kelly faces up to 15 years in jail.

R. Kelly is shown at the premiere of his crazy music soap opera “Trapped in The Closet: Chapters 13-22″ on 8/15/07, thanks to WENN.

Billy Bob Thornton’s 14-year-old son Willie has been dating – and involved in a sexual relationship – with a 22-year-old woman, according to TMZ. The website reports that the woman’s ex-boyfriend got jealous of their relationship and reported it to the Los Angeles Police Department. Regardless of the motivation, that was definitely the right thing for the guy to do.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Billy Bob Thornton’s son is at the center of a criminal investigation — the alleged victim of “unlawful sex.”

Here’s what we know. Willie Thornton, age 14, was dating a 22-year-old woman. Her ex-boyfriend apparently became jealous. Sources say the ex called the LAPD, informing them his former GF was having sex with a minor.

Law enforcement sources tell us there is an “active investigation” into the crime of “unlawful sex” — translated, an adult having sex with someone under 18. We’re told Willie is cooperating with the sex crimes unit. And, we’re told, cops have also interviewed Billy Bob.

[From TMZ]

This is definitely pedophilia, at least according to the ever-prestigious Dateline definition. The woman is 8 years Thornton’s senior. Whenever an older woman seduces a younger boy (think of all those teachers you see on television for sleeping with students in the last few years) a lot of people joke about how lucky that guy is. But let’s be honest – a 14-year-old boy is not capable of making smart decisions about relationships or sex. Something like this could have a lasting, negative psychological impact on Thornton. It seems like police are taking this case seriously – and hopefully will pursue charges.

Photos of Billy Bob Thornton with girlfriend Connie Angland at the Astronaut Farmer Los Angeles premiere on February 20th, 2007. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Move over, rehab. There’s a new fad among celebs- these days, you’re not anyone in Hollywood unless you’ve got your own personal, creepy stalker. Not one to be outdone by the likes of Tyra Banks, Pamela Anderson and Catherine Zeta Jones, “Say Anything” cutiepants John Cusack has a female stalker who likes to show up unannounced at his home. And no, she doesn’t stand outside holding a boom box over her head, playing Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes,” just in case you were wondering.

A woman who showed up Sunday outside John Cusack’s Malibu home — despite a restraining order barring her from approaching the actor — was arrested on suspicion of stalking, Los Angeles County sheriff’s officials said Monday.

Deputies were called to the 24000 block of Malibu Road about 7 p.m. Sunday after a cab driver reported that a passenger was refusing to pay a fare for a ride to that area.

As deputies approached the scene, they were flagged down by Cusack, who told them that he recognized the woman in the cab and that she had been stalking him.

Emily Leatherman, 33, was booked on suspicion of felony stalking, violating a restraining order and petty theft. Leatherman, who was booked at the Malibu-Lost Hills station, was being held in lieu of $150,000 bail, said sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore.

“She was arrested and had violated a previous restraining order taken out against her by Mr. Cusack,” Whitmore said.

[From the LA Times]

She didn’t have a car, so she took a cab to John’s home- even though she didn’t have cab fare! That’s dedication right there. The mug shot of this chick is really creepy; her eyes look totally dead. John, if you need someone to keep you company and make sure the scary lady doesn’t come back, I’d be happy to help. I’m an excellent markswoman, and I make a mean meat loaf. Call me!

Poison drummer Rikki Rockett was arrested in Los Angeles LAX Airport on Monday on an outstanding warrant for rape in Neshoba County, Mississippi. It is thought that he has been released from police custody and no details are known about the rape charge.

46 year-old Rockett had just arrived in LA from New Zealand, where he had performed with other Poison members at the heavy metal show Rock2Wellington.

According to Wikipedia, he owns a drum manufacturing company, “Rockett Drum Works,” that he started in 2007. He is a vegan and animal rights activist and has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

While I thought Poison had disbanded long ago, they’re still together and touring and released an album last year.

Maybe we’ll learn more about what Rikki was exactly charged with.

Details from DailyNews.com and TMZ.

Rikki Rockett is shown in the header at World Fest on 4/17/05, thanks to WENN. He is shown below on 10/27/07 at the Guitar Hero III launch party, thanks to PRPhotos.

The Smoking Gun has uncovered a conspiracy that falsely implicated Diddy in an attack on rap legend Tupac Shakur. The LA Times claimed last week to have unearthed official FBI documents that tied Diddy to a planned shooting of Shakur in 1994, two years before his death. While the LA Times did not state that Diddy had any direct connection to Shakur’s murder, the implication was clear - he had a hand in intimidating him because he would not join Diddy’s growing record label.

I totally believed that story, because you can see Diddy planning a hit on someone like the mafia. He’s an arrogant asshole and just seems like the type. Diddy of course denied any involvement.

The documents tying Diddy to the crime against Shakur weren’t real, though. They were forged by a prison inmate with too much time on his hands. The guy is a con man who wants to be famous and has access to a typewriter.

Here are the highlights, paraphrased from the story on The Smoking Gun:

• The LA Times was given supposed FBI filings or “302s,” tying Diddy to the crime. The FBI never investigated the Tupac case, it was investigated by Secret Services.

• There is no record of any of those 302 documents in the FBI database.

• The inmate, James Sabatino, 31, also filed a civil suit against Diddy for supposedly not paying him $175,000 for 1994 recordings he made of Notorious B.I.G.

• The spelling, grammatical errors, and typewriter font used for both Sabatino’s civil case and the FBI documents are the same.

• The faked FBI documents include abbreviations and awkward phrasing that are not used in regular FBI filings and are full of obvious errors.

• In the documents, Sabatino tried to paint himself as a tough guy with ties to rap luminaries. His role in the rap underworld was completely fabricated. He was just a teen when some of the events occurred.

• Sabatino’s rap sheet includes a long history of impersonating executives to get free goods, and get comped at hotels and sports events. While in jail he defrauded Nextel into sending him over 1,000 cell phones by pretending to be an entertainment executive and having the phones shipped to his friends on the outside.

The Smoking Gun notes how easily the LA Times was duped by the faked FBI documents, which they even included as PDF downloads on their website. They say the errors made it obvious that the documents were fabricated.

The LA Times has issued an apology and is conducting an internal investigation to try and figure out how they were duped. The author, Chuck Philips, is a Pulitzer prize winner and has also apologized for relying on falsified documents for his article. Tupac’s murder has never been solved.

The Daily Mail is reporting a story from an only slightly more reliable source, The National Enquirer, which is set to claim in its upcoming issue that convicted shoplifter Winona Ryder was at it again. They say that Ryder was busted leaving a CVS with makeup she hadn’t paid for. (The Daily Mail says it was a “CVC” pharmacy, but I think it’s safe to assume it was a CVS.) When Winona was approached by store security she said she had no idea how the pilfered makeup got in her bag. It sounds like she had paid for some purchases and not others, and maybe it was an honest mistake:

Now in a new incident, according to America’s National Enquirer magazine, the Girl Interrupted star recently set off the security alarm at Hollywood CVC Pharmacy after making several purchases.

According to the publication, when she left the store, she set off an alarm that drew the attention of a security guard.

A store employee is quoted as saying: “Winona had a bag of stuff, but she set off the theft alarm when she left the store.

“When a security guard stopped her, he found make-up she had not paid for.”

And when she was asked about the make-up, Winona answered: “I don’t know how that happened.”

The store employee added: “We took unpaid items back and she left the store.”

Winona’s publicist at first denied the incident took place. But when told a store employee had confirmed it, said she would check with her again.

[From The Daily Mail]

Given that it’s Winona Ryder involved it’s hard to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it could have been one of those situations where you put stuff on the counter and it isn’t scanned right or something. That’s never happened to me, but I’ve gone home with the security tags still attached to clothing I’ve paid for on two separate occasions. Why is it that those blunders seem to favor the store and not the customer?

Winona was caught shoplifting $5,500 worth of goods from a Saks Fifth Avenue in December, 2001, which definitely put a damper on her career. After a high profile trial she was convicted of grand theft and vandalism and was sentenced to three years’ probation and 480 hours of community service. Her probation ended on December, 2005, and her career gradually started picking up again afterwards, but never quite recovered.

Winona Ryder is shown on 6/7/07 at AFI Life Achievement Award honoring Al Pacino, thanks to PRPhotos.

A former supermodel/Bond girl who had gone missing for three days has been found. Waris Dirie, 43, is a Somali-born model who rose to fame in 1987 playing a Bond girl in “The Living Daylights” and starring in several Chanel ads. In 1996 she released a book “Desert Flower” that described her own circumcision with a rusty razor blade and no anesthesia. Since then Dirie has become a vocal advocate against female genital mutilation. She had been scheduled to deliver a speech in front of U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in Brussels at two women’s rights conferences when she suddenly went missing. Last week the body of Katoucha Niane, a Guinean-born model turned female genital mutilation activist was found floating in the River Seine in Paris – heightening fears for Dirie’s safety. The cause of her disappearance is still unclear, confusing, and suspicious.

Dirie’s manager, Walter Lutschinger, said the 43-year-old former model had been involved in an altercation early Wednesday after a taxi driver took her to the wrong branch of the Sofitel hotel chain. The police were called and drove Dirie around Brussels looking for the correct hotel because she had apparently forgotten where she was staying.

At one hotel, while staff and police were checking for her name on a computer, police said Dirie stepped out saying she planned to buy cigarettes from an all-night kiosk, but instead climbed into a Citroen Picasso taxi and drove away.

“She left with no credit card. She left with no cell phone, no passport. She has no papers on her, probably no money,” Lutschinger said before she was found. He did not return calls to his cell phone following Dirie’s discovery.

[From CNN]

In her speech, Dirie had been planning on criticizingly the European Union for not taking strong enough actions to eradicate female genital mutilation in Europe. On Friday she was scheduled to go to the Netherlands to receive an award for her work. Dirie was attacked in her apartment in 2005 by a deranged stalker, and given the nature of her work she is likely often in danger. It’s unclear if she was kidnapped or disappeared due to fears for her safety. Luckily she’s been found – but the death of fellow activist Katoucha Niane coupled with Dirie’s disappearance is certainly a strange coincidence, and possibly more.

Header image of Waris Dirie at the Cinema For Peace press conference at the Adlon Hotel in Berlin on February 10th, 2008. Images thanks to WENN.

Update by Celebitchy: Dirie was abducted by a cab driver and kept hostage at his apartment for two days. He reportedly attempted to rape her. She is in the hospital getting treated for injuries to her arms and legs. She cannot lift her left arm. It sounds very serious and I hope she’s ok. There’s no word yet if Dirie’s abduction was related to her work as an anti genital mutilation activist.

Actor James McAvoy has been notoriously tight-lipped when asked about his family. The actor, 29, has garnered a lot of attention lately for his starring role alongside Keira Knightley in “Atonement,” for which he won a BAFTA. He’s also gotten a lot of press for his low-key lifestyle - he and his wife, actress Anne-Marie Duff, 38, live in an apartment they bought several years ago for 178,000 (about $346,000 USD), share a ten-year-old Nissan Micra that’s worth less than $2,000, and admit to rarely leaving their apartment. James has actually said that he purposely tries to avoid “celebrity bullshit,” and I can think of few actors who’ve stuck to an ideal so thoroughly. Even Matthew McConaughey eventually gave up his Airstream trailer – but McAvoy has adamantly stuck to his beliefs. The Daily Mail has written a surprisingly thorough article on McAvoy, in which they hypothesize that the reason he lives such a low-key existence is that he doesn’t want to draw a lot of attention to his family.

After McAvoy won his BAFTA, he thanked his mother, grandparents (who raised him), and wife, yet made no mention of his father or half-brother. It turns out that James has not spoken to his dad, James McAvoy Sr, in 21 years. His parents divorced when he was seven, and his father, who works as a roofer - claims that that eight-year-old James pulled away from him after he started seeing another woman.

“Our son took it hard,” says McAvoy Snr. “He just wasn’t the carefree little boy he’d been before.” At first, father and son continued their relationship, with James Snr taking his son swimming or to watch Celtic football team. But when a year later James Snr moved in with a new lover, Mary McKinnon, the eight-year-old McAvoy refused to have anything to do with his father.

“I think James still had hopes of me and his mum sorting things out,” claims McAvoy Snr. “He started refusing to see me because he didn’t like Mary. In the end I took a step back rather than upset him.”

The young McAvoy demonstrated his steely nature when a few years later he was larking around in the playground of the St Thomas Aquinas secondary school in Drumchapel and spotted his father working on the school roof. “James just looked away without saying a word,” recalls his father sadly.

[From the Daily Mail]

That appears to be their last encounter. James has a half-brother named Donald from his father’s relationship with the aforementioned woman. Donald was recently sent to jail after stabbing a man eight times.

To understand the extent of his transformation, perhaps we should look at McAvoy’s 18-year-old half-brother Donald, currently languishing in Polmont Young Offenders’ Institution near Falkirk. Donald - James Snr’s son from his now-ended relationship with his lover Mary - has never met James the actor.

But no one could blame the star for distancing himself from his violent, alcoholic brother. Just a fortnight ago, Donald was sent to Polmont for stabbing a man eight times and, in a separate incident, threatening a 14-year-old with a hammer.

James Snr, who lives in a dingy first-floor flat, sighs: “I am standing by one son who’s a maniac, but can’t stand by my other son, who has done so well.” According to Mr McAvoy, Donald’s problem stems from his penchant for alcohol: “He’s a polite boy who doesn’t cause trouble until he has been drinking.”

[From the Daily Mail]

It sounds like James McAvoy (Jr) isn’t so much distancing himself from the unsavory side of his family - he simply has no relationship with them and never has. He’s not under some obligation to acknowledge them now that he’s doing well. They haven’t been a part of each other’s lives for a long time – and in the case of his half-brother, they’ve never even met. James himself has admitted to struggling with alcohol, and credits his wife with helping him straighten out his life, noting in his BAFTA acceptance speech, “she taught me to respect life.” Having no relationship with his father is sad, but his dad doesn’t say anything that implies he tried to reconnect with his son before he was famous – he even said he “took a step back” from their relationship rather than upset James, which makes no sense to me. McAvoy clearly has a lot of talent and a great head on his shoulders, and has made a lot of his life already. His family history is sad, but it explains why he doesn’t want to talk about them and has insisted on moving forward.

Here’s James McAvoy at the 2008 Wonder Con in San Francisco on February 22nd. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Rapper Juvenile, 32, (real name Terius Gray), singer of hits like “Back That Azz Up,” “Ha,” and “Gone Ride With Me,” got some terrible news: his four-year-old daughter Jelani was murdered by her half brother, Anthony Tyrone Terrell Jr, 17. Terrell also murdered his other half sister Micaiah, 11, along with the children’s mother Joy Deleston, 39. Deleston was a Gwinnett County Sheriff’s Deputy who worked in the sex offender unit. She sued Juvenile for paternity in 2004, and the case was eventually settled after both parties acknowledged that he was the father.

Anthony Tyrone Terrell Jr. was charged Friday in the deaths at the family home near Lawrenceville, where the bodies were found the night before, said police spokeswoman Illana Spellman. Police had gone to the subdivision because a caller reported shots fired, Officer David Schiralli said earlier. They found a bullet hole in a house, then checked next door because they knew a deputy lived there.

They opened the door to announce themselves and discovered the bodies, Schiralli said. The 17-year-old son arrived at the house about 35 minutes later, he said. Spellman said the boy was arrested after talking to investigators but didn’t elaborate. Because of his age, prosecutors cannot seek the death penalty against Terrell. A preliminary hearing will be set next week in Gwinnett County Superior Court, said prosecutor Danny Porter.

[From the Associated Press]

It’s not known how close Juvenile was to his daughter, but he is understandably distraught.

…according to Juvenile’s manager, Aubrey Francis, the rapper and father of little Jelani is ’shocked and devastated’ over the death of his daughter.

“It really shocked him and devastated him to the point where I’ve never seen him before,” Francis said of the rapper. “Right now he is relaxing and trying to grasp everything of what has happened.”

[From Memphis Rap]

No motive has yet been released by the police. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, friends say Terrell loved his sisters. Several of Terrell’s friends who were interviewed said he always spoke positively and lovingly about his mom and sisters. Along with being a police officer and single mother, Joy Deleston was also an aspiring actress who had appeared in several local Atlanta-based films, including “The Effect,” “Riff” and “Dark Secrets.” It’s not known if Terrell had a criminal record – since he is a minor, everything would be sealed. We offer our sincerest condolences to Juvenile and the Deleston family.

Here is Joy Deleston with her son, Anthony Tyrone Terrell and daughters Micaiah and Jelani. Header of Juvenile at the MTV VMA 2004 Vote Or Die Pre-Party on 8/27/2004. Image thanks to PR Photos.