The tabloids are still trying to make this Sandra Bullock-Scarlett Johansson-Ryan Reynolds thing into some huge scandal. I’m not buying it… but some of you must be, or else these stories wouldn’t keep happening. Here’s how I think the whole thing went down. Scarlett was the one to “dump” Ryan, because she was so young, and suddenly it hit her that she could be sleeping with many more dudes who weren’t so friggin’ gerbil-faced, etc. Maybe she was even cheating on Ryan, I don’t know. So Scarlett dumps Ryan and Ryan throws a little fit in the press, having his people whine about how immature Scarlett is, etc. Then he took his whiny baby act to Sandra Bullock, and she was like “Eh, why not? A rebound fling might be fun.” Meanwhile, Scarlett is on some alcohol-soaked orgy involving Justin Timberlake, Kevin Connolly and God knows who else. Scar is all “Ryan who now?” But whatever, that’s just my take. The Enquirer’s source feels differently. They’re trying to play it like Scar is going to bitch-fight with Sandra, because Saint Bullock is such a hussy.

“You’re a man-hungry tramp!” SCARLETT JOHANSSON exploded in rage when her pal SANDRA BULLOCK betrayed her by cozying up to estranged hubby RYAN REYNOLDS — before the ink on their divorce papers was even dry.

The blonde beauty, 26, wanted her bitter words to get back to Sandra “because she still has intense feelings for Ryan and feels Sandra isn’t respecting that at all,” revealed a friend.

Scarlett is having second thoughts about her recent split and has been holding out hope of reconciliation – -but now Sandy has captured Ryan’s attention and has even gone out on the town with him.

“Sandra may be known as ‘America’s Sweetheart,’ but she’s NO sweetheart to Scarlett,” declared the friend. “She feels Sandra is torpedoing any chances at a possible reconciliation – by jumping right in with him! It hurts her terribly that while she’s wrestling with these huge issues about ending her marriage, Sandra doesn’t appear to have any regard for her. She thought they were friends and that Sandra would keep a respectful distance, particularly after what she went through in her own messy breakup with Jesse James.”

“Scarlett is hearing how much Ryan loves helping Sandra with her adopted baby Louis. Now she feels there’s little chance to win him back.”

[From The National Enquirer, print and online edition]

Yeah, I just don’t think Scarlett cares. Does she seem like she cares? Nope. Maybe she’ll play around with this image a little bit for some sympathy, but I don’t really see any public pity parties in her future. It’s just not her style.

Here are a couple of Scarlett’s new ads for Moet. Does this look like a girl who is trying to slam Sandra Bullock as a tramp? Not so much.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

While our collective Christmases weren’t as Hermes-filled as Beyonce’s, all of us were doing better than Charlie Sheen. Yes, having avoided prison and any consequence for his coke-and-rage-filled actions, Charlie Sheen spent the holidays in the warm embrace of network love, too much money, paid companionship and blow. Somebody had a snowy Christmas! Ugh. According to Radar’s sources, Charlie blew (operative word) off all of his family obligations to spend the holidays in a never-ending “party” of hookers and cocaine. That’s our Charlie?

Charlie Sheen is partying hard once again and missed THREE family Christmas events as he lived the high life, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

One year after being arrested on domestic violence charges in Aspen, Colorado, the Two and a Half Men star was nowhere to be found at family events where he was expected.

“He skipped going to his brother Emilio’s, didn’t show up at Denise Richards’ house and also skipped seeing his daughter Cassandra,” a source close to the family told RadarOnline.com.

So where has Charlie been?

“He’s back partying again,” a source told us. “Although it’s tough to say he’s back partying because he never really quit!”

Sheen had a disastrous night partying with porn star Capri Anderson in New York, but that hasn’t slowed him. Anderson filed a criminal complaint claiming Sheen held her against her will and Sheen filed a lawsuit against her for extortion.

“He did a lot of cocaine that night,” a source close to that situation told RadarOnline.com, and Sheen hasn’t stopped.

“He likes hookers and he likes coke and he’s got enough money for both,” the source said.

While the star blew off the family events for Christmas he wasn’t suffering from holiday depression. “He’s been having a great time partying like crazy for the past several weeks,” the source said.

[From Radar]

I believe this. I don’t think Charlie “learned” any lesson from his experiences over the past year. It was just over a year ago that he beat the hell out of his wife and threatened her with a knife when they were blitzed out of their skulls, and Charlie skated. Then he locks a hooker in a hotel closet, trashes a hotel room and all the cops want from him is an autograph. When is Martin Sheen going to stage another intervention? Or has Martin thrown up his hands at Charlie at this point? Could be. If somebody doesn’t step up, Charlie’s downward spiral is just going to continue on throughout the year. Hookers and blow for everybody!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Yesterday, my favorite Daily Mail columnist Katie Nicholl reported a relatively innocuous little gossip item. According to her sources, Lily Allen was planning a wedding to her boyfriend Sam Cooper, following their tragic miscarriage just one month ago. You can read the piece here – there are no nasty quotes, nothing that I would find particularly offensive. If it was true, I would think Lily’s friends are gossips who love her. If it was false, I would think that Nicholl just got a bad tip. What I would not think, however, is that Nicholl was a C-U-Next-Tuesday. But that was Lily Allen’s reaction on Twitter:

[From Lily Allen’s Twitter]

Too harsh? Or should Lily be off-limits for a time because of her personal tragedy? Or should professional gossips just pack it in completely because no one should ever speculate, EVER? Here’s Gossip Cop’s take on the situation:

Lily Allen is blasting a gossip columnist who claims Allen and Sam Cooper are planning to marry in the aftermath of her recent miscarriage.

The Daily Mail’s Katie Nicholl quotes a so-called “friend” of the couple as saying, “They realised through their grief that they absolutely adore one another and cannot live without each other.” Nicholl goes on to speculate about the location of the ceremony and reception.

Allen, who’s also recovering from blood poisoning, took to Twitter to say exactly what she thought of Nicholl.

Allen writes, “Katie Nicholl I THINK you’re a c**t, leave me out of your sh**ty column, you know nothing about the intimate details of my life.”

“Theres (sic) a time and a place for your musings where i’m concerned, and it’s not now,” adds the singer.

Gossip Cop has busted Nicholl’s “musings” before, including her wrong assertions about Sienna Miller and Charlize Theron following Kabbalah, as well as her baseless claim that Uma Thurman planned to marry at Kensington Palace.

As of now, the Allen article is still posted to the Daily Mail’s website, and Nicholl has not responded.

[From Gossip Cop]

Well, Lily seems to be claiming that Nicholl did get in touch with her, so I wouldn’t say there has been NO response. Quite honestly, I have mixed feelings about this. I think it’s in poor taste to report random marriage gossip about someone who has just gone through an unspeakable tragedy. On the other hand, despite Lily’s personal grief, I think she’s overreacting and still quite hungry for the limelight – this report would have been completely ignored if Lily hadn’t made such a big deal about it. She’s been in the fame business long enough to know that – so I have no idea what she’s trying to achieve.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The more we hear about Demi Lovato’s “breakdown” the more it seems like Demi was in much bigger trouble than her parents and handlers realized. Even now, the “official” story of Demi’s “treatment” is PR-friendly, and her handlers are trying to make it sound like the girl just has some emotional problems and she needs some sleep. Followers of blind items and fans of the nastier gossip have felt pretty strongly that Demi was into some really hardcore sh-t – cocaine, binge drinking, sex with Wilmer Valderrama, and probably much more. Life & Style has a new story in this week’s issue about Demi’s cocaine abuse (back when she was 17 years old), and they’ve gotten “eyewitness” testimony:

The intense pressure on Demi Lovato reached a breaking point when reps for the young star announced she “left her tour to seek medical treatment for emotional and physical issues she has dealt with for some time,” issues such as cutting and eating disorders.

Now, new eyewitnesses confirm to Life & Style those problems are only exacerbated by the teenager’s heavy drinking and partying. Texas college student Brian Payne clearly remembers the night he spent hanging with Demi in North Richland Hills, Texas, where he saw her firsthand doing cocaine at a mutual friend’s house party on Dec. 28 last year.

“She was doing line after line like a pro — and she was 17 at the time,” he tells Life & Style, recalling the wild party they attended after a concert by the band Neon Indian at the Granada Theater in Dallas. “I just remember her doing it as if she had been doing it for a long time. It didn’t seem like something new to her.”

Insiders say the pain of her breakup with Joe Jonas — and the fact that they’re on the Camp Rock 2 tour together — further fueled her downward spiral. “Demi’s been on a tear lately,” says an insider. “She’ll chug booze straight from the bottle.”

Luckily for Demi, her mother and stepfather were quick to take action after they heard that she had punched a tour backup dancer in the face.

“They overheard one of the dancers talking about it and freaked out,” says the insider. “They heard Demi was drinking, but the news that her partying was getting out of control shocked them — and they confronted her immediately.”

“This is a young girl who got caught up in the fame and fortune of Hollywood and couldn’t see straight anymore,” says another insider. “She had eating issues and emotional issues, and everything else got hitched along with that.”

[From Life & Style]

I believe it, all of it. Except one part – I think her parents have known for a long time that Demi has had serious issues, and they only stepped in to do something when her alcohol and drug abuse became so bad it threatened their paychecks. I think Demi has had emotional, drug and alcohol problems for years, and the “airport meltdown” incident was only her latest cry for help. Sad.

On Tuesday night, Audrina Patridge was (SPOILER) kicked off Dancing With the Stars. Within minutes, it seems, Audrina was offered another television deal, so everything works out. After the DWTS elimination, it seems like Audrina and her mom Lynn went out to dinner, and Lynn decided to forgo the steak and baked potato for a dinner of vodka martinis, with a stoop cigarette chaser. Hollywood TV caught up with Lynn as she “performed” a hilarious drunken rant for the camera:

This video has f bombs and is NSFW

I’ll just do my general thoughts:

Oooh…Lynn has SO much more personality than Audrina. Maybe it has something to do with Audrina’s “Polish Catholic f-ckin’ full-on Italian” upbringing? Yes, Lynn, Audrina “was raised right.”

Lynn is right, Audrina winning DWTS is NOT “God’s will.” Because God doesn’t give a crap about dancing competitions, seriously.

Oohh…Lauren Conrad and her “pissy ass little fashion sh-t… bitch wants to bring it on, let‘s GO!”

Lynn: “I might be drink, but you know what? I’m not mad.” LMAO.

Lynn: “I don’t give a sh-t, I ain’t scared of paparazzis.”

Lynn: “I’ve been a celebrity mom through eight years of this Hills bullsh-t, Audrina is going to the next level.”

Lynn: “F-cking Hills tramps… Audrina is the only one with class and I don’t give a F-CK about it.”

Lynn: “I don’t care if I’m a ass! I’m going to be on TV!”

Okay, I’ll stop. I mean, it must suck for Audrina that her mom clearly has a drinking problem, but it also must suck for Audrina that her mom has WAY more personality than her.

The note on these fabulous photos reads: “Sienna Miller and Jude Law leave C London restaurant in Mayfair and are greeted by a large group of photographs. Jude and Sienna had trouble finding their cab and supposedly got into the wrong car. They went back into the restaurant while Jude rang the cabdriver to find out where he was.” Excellent. Jude and Sienna are back in business! Let’s go out to eat, get drunk, get into the wrong car, and get photographed the whole time. What else is there to do? Work? Bah! Ooh… Sienna is actually working! Whoops. She’s got a film in production right now. Hm… I thought that you couldn’t pay people to hire Sienna these days, but it looks like I’m wrong. I apologize, Sienna.

But I have to say, Sienna looks more wasted than Jude. She’s been photographed looking drunk as hell a lot lately. She loves her wine. I think Jude looks okay, though – the scruff is meh, but I like the jaunty hat. The Sun is bitching him out for looking like he “raided Dr. Watson’s closet.” Harsh.

But here’s a question – who gets this sh-tfaced on a Monday night? When you have to go to work the next day? Goodness.

Matt LeBlanc is sad. No one pays attention to him anymore. No one really wants to talk to him, and on the rare occasion that someone does want to talk to him, they call him “Joey.” Repeatedly. I was fully prepared to call Matt a douche, a drunk and a has-been for this incident, but I kind of see where Matt was coming from. The guy talking to him was a major tool, and he was definitely trying to provoke Matt. Of course, Matt could have handled it better. The basic incident: Matt was hammered and trying his hand at deejaying at a London club. When he stumbled into this Daily Mirror reporter’s table, the reporter started heckling him and calling him “Joey.” Matt got pissed off, and started bitching.

As one of the stars of sitcom Friends, you’d think Matt LeBlanc was an affable sort of fella who was able to take a joke. Not so…When we bumped into the actor – famous as Joey in the long-running US series – and called him by his character’s name, he wasn’t laughing at all.

Saturdays star Mollie King was one of the celebs enjoying Hed Kandi’s London Fashion Week party at Maddox on Tuesday. She watched in horror as Matt, 43, kicked off at us.
Earlier he clumsily knocked into our table, sending glasses flying.

So, of course, we asked: “You all right, Joey? How YOU do-in?” But Matt raged back: “I’m not Joey. Don’t you dare call me Joey. The papers say I’m finished, so don’t call me f***ing Joey. I want to leave that all behind. I’m moving on.”

Mulling this over we replied: “OK, Joey, if that’s how you feel. But what are you doing? Let’s be honest, Joey, that’s who everyone knows you as.”

But Matt, who also tried his hand at DJing on the night to mark Hed Kandi’s new World Series album and fashion launch, wasn’t amused.

He yelled: “I’m not Joey. For the last time. I’m not f***ing Joey. It’s Matt. Matt LeBlanc. Joey’s in the past. I’m trying to do something new.”

Us: “Like what, Joey?” Joey: “I’m gonna do comedy. Working with the Friends producers to do comedy in England. And it’s got nothing to do with Joey before you ask.”

He then took a swig from his glass, on a table loaded with vodka, mixers and champagne. He didn’t offer us any, but hey, Joey doesn’t share food.. or drinks. At this point his aide dragged him away.

It’s not the first time Joey has got trashed in a London club. He was the talk of Mahiki last June. Our spy said: “Matt told everyone he was going to have a relatively quiet night. But when the first drink went down.. he changed his tune.”

Don’t worry, Joey. If you ever need Friends to party with, you know where we are…

[From The Daily Mirror UK]

It’s just kind of sad for everyone involved. The reporter is a douche, but so is Matt. And after the scandal that went down when he left his wife for his costar, he should be thankful that people only seem to remember him for playing a lovable dope on two f-cking television shows. It could be worse. They could remember him for smoking weed in a car in full view of photographers. Or for being hammered and bitching out a douche reporter. So… what the hell is going on with him? Downward spiral?

LeBlanc in London on Sept. 13, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are getting more attention than they know what to do with. They’re probably happy, in some sense. Their marriage problems and rumored infidelity has made them relevant in a way that nothing else has. And trust me, these two are big famewhores. So, to some extent, they’re probably thankful that Ashton couldn’t keep it in his pants (allegedly)? That he boned some club girl on his wife’s couch and now Demi is back on the cover of People Magazine and everyone is talking about their marriage? Even though I kind of dislike Demi in the general sense, I did think she was better than this. I thought she was the kind of woman who would leave and tell Ashton to go f-ck himself. Turns out I was wrong. According to new reports from Hollywood Life and People Magazine, Demi is sticking with Ashton. Ugh.

Some women would make a beeline for divorce court if their husband was caught cheating—but not devoted Demi Moore, whose hubby Ashton Kutcher is facing a new, pretty convincing round of reports that he cheated, a source close to the couple tells HollywoodLife.com.

“Demi’s not going anywhere,” says the well-placed source.

Why? Well, it’s combination of good old-fashioned sentimental reasons, and the cold hard truth about staying relevant in Hollywood.

“She loves him, she just does,” says the insider. “And being with Ashton has made her hot again, and relevant. That’s the honest truth. There’s no question about it: She benefits more by being with him.”

And the source tells HollywoodLife.com that 47-year-old Demi’s well aware that Ashton, 32, has much less to lose if they were to split.

“The reality is, he’s more valuable on his own. His brand and celebrity is far larger.”

The source acknowledges that Ashton’s behavior has put stress on the marriage, but they’re trying to take the high road.

“How stupid is he? To be so sloppy and not cover his butt. But they’re rising above it.”

And while Demi’s remains committed to their marriage, so is Ashton in his own way.

“He know he has a beauty at home, he’s not going to end that. It’s just the nature of the relationship, and it works for them, even their marriage is being scrutinized and judged by outsiders. They just don’t care, which is why he hasn’t said anything yet.”

[From Hollywood Life]

People Magazine sort of concurs with this view – after running a cover story that seemed critical of their marriage, People is back to climbing up Demi’s ass. They have a new story that seems written by Demi’s publicist:

There may be rumors swirling around Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, but the couple in the center of the storm has been all smiles – that is when they aren’t giggling, joking around and engaging in all manner of PDA. On Monday, Kutcher, 32, was on the Michigan set of Moore’s new film The Reasonable Bunch, quietly watching his wife work, and happily accepting her hugs between takes.

Says a set source, “Demi and Ashton got here in the early hours of the morning and you could hear them laughing and carrying on from inside her trailer.”

Indeed, if the couple, who will celebrate their fifth anniversary Friday, are at all troubled by recent reports that Kutcher cheated with a 21-year-old, they are keeping it to themselves.

While the internet buzzed about the alleged infidelity, Moore, 47, “gushes over Ashton on set,” says the source.

“She’s on the phone with him all the time,” says another source. “It’s pretty lovey-dovey – lots of ‘I love you, baby’s.’ ”

Kutcher arrived in Michigan over the weekend on his way to the Clinton Global Initiative, where the two are set to appear Thursday to launch “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls” campaign to end child sex slavery. The pair, who practice a form of Jewish mysticism called Kabbalah, observed Yom Kippur together, breaking the traditional fast at a nearby Applebee’s.

While Moore told people on the set that she was “coming off a good weekend,” she admitted that the fasting was a real challenge.

“I could never starve myself,” she was overheard saying. “I love food too much.”

[From People]

They broke their fast at Applebee’s? Okay, that kind of makes me like them. Damn it, I could go for an Applebee’s Caesar salad with a side of onion rings right now (the combination is heaven). And I wasn’t even fasting for Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is the day of atonement, by the way. You have to repent and atone for your sins before God (and your wife). I wonder if Ashton came clean? Probably not. He probably just put on his red string and got hammered, and then hit on the Applebee’s waitress.

CB was going to write this up because she’s much more familiar with the players of this little drama, but alas, you’re stuck with me now. And I have no f-cking clue who these people are. So… it seems Mark Salling (of Glee) is/was dating his costar, Naya Rivera. I don’t know how long they’ve been dating, at all, but I do know that Mark’s dating/hookup history of the past year includes such luminaries as Audrina Patridge and Paris Hilton. So basically, I’m already thinking he’s a sketchball. So, anyway, yesterday Us Weekly put up this little story about Mark and Naya, and what she did after she “discovered” that she wasn’t his exclusive girlfriend:

Hell hath no fury like a Cheerio scorned. Though a source tells the new Us Weekly Glee costars Mark Salling, 28, and Naya Rivera, 23, were never an exclusive couple, Salling’s dates with other women this summer caused an infuriated Rivera to egg and key his pricey car.

Rivera “went crazy when she read about other girls,” a source tells Us Weekly. “When Naya found out, she and some pals trashed his Lexus.”

Still, Salling’s friend, singer Samantha Marq, defends his behavior.

“He’s on top of the world right now and living it up,” she tells Us. “Besides, it’s hard to call it infidelity when they weren’t officially together!”

Rivera’s rep didn’t return requests for comment.

[From Us Weekly]

Eh. I mean, I believe it happened in some form, but I don’t get why she would f-ck with his car. F-ck with the dude, don’t f-ck with his car. Messing with someone’s car is just cheap and immature, and so very Waiting to Exhale. Anyway, Mark is now sort-of denying that his car was messed with, and he even denies owning a Lexus:

Glee’s Mark Salling is denying reports his co-star (and rumored gal pal) Naya Rivera recently vandalized his Lexus with a baseball bat, eggs and dog food, and RadarOnline.com has all the info for you.

“I don’t even drive a Lexus,” Salling, who plays the role of bad-boy-turned-singer Puck on the smash hit Fox series, Tweeted Wednesday. “Silly rumors, we’re the best of friends.”

He then Tweeted a pic of a smiling Rivera playfully choking him out.

Rivera, who plays a cheerleader on the show, “went crazy when she read about other girls,” according to US.

An eyewitness told RadarOnline.com Wednesday of the incident: “Naya and a girlfriend went to a liquor store around 1 am and bought eggs and dog food. They were laughing hysterically the whole time they were in the store. They didn’t seem drunk, they were just being silly.”

The denial comes just days before Salling, Rivera and the cast of Glee walk the red carpet for the upcoming Emmy Awards.

[From Radar]

Hm…so what exactly went down? Nothing? Or just some light-hearted pranks? Or maybe he fancies himself a player but knew well enough not to make an enemy out of a scorned costar so he’s just playing along? I don’t know. (And I don’t really care either!)

Header: Twit-pic courtesy of Mark Salling’s Twitter.

I know some people don’t like talking about the Kardashians in any way, shape or form, but they’ve grown on me, and they’re some of the easiest “celebrities” to cover. Plus, they constantly appear on the covers of the tabloids, and their drama is always neatly contained in very precise famewhore stories. Take this one, from In Touch Weekly’s cover story this week. Apparently, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are “at war” over weight. Specifically, Kourtney has lost her “baby weight” while Kim still has the gigantic booty, and now “old insecurities” are playing out amongst the Kardashian Klan:

Not long ago, Kim Kardashian was world-famous for her sexy curves, while her pregnant sister Kourtney was stuck in the role of second banana. But eight months have made a world of difference for the ultra-competitive Kardashian sisters. After working hard to lose her baby weight, Kourtney has her slim body back, reawakening Kim’s old insecurities. And now, the two sisters are more competitive than ever.

“They are always looking at each other’s body and picking it apart,” says an insider, adding that in the past, Kourtney was always the “skinniest sister,” and now that she is once again, she’s making sure Kim knows. “She always makes fun of Kim’s ‘lumps,’ meaning her cellulite,” the insider reveals.

According to a Kardashian confidante, it’s a battle that’s been raging between the two women since childhood. With Khloé, 26, considerably younger and always a bit bigger than her two sisters, Kourtney and Kim engaged in fierce competition as teenagers over who had the hottest, slimmest body — and who got the most attention from boys. Of course, now it isn’t just dates the girls are fighting over — it’s money, fame and airtime.

Although Kim used to be far and away the most famous Kardashian sister, she’s seen Kourtney get more attention over her new baby and her tumultuous relationship with her boyfriend, Scott Disick. And now that’s she’s lost the baby weight, Kourtney seems to be taking Kim’s place as the hottest star of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. “Kim isn’t about to give up her throne without a fight,” says another family friend. Dressing up, hitting clubs — and working hard to slim down — Kim is determined to take back the lead role in her famous family.

[From In Touch Weekly]

God, Kourtney sounds like such a bitch. I always think that about her – although, to be fair, all of the Kardashian women seem like major tools. But Kourtney specifically. Anyway, do I really need to defend Kim? She has a different body type then Kourtney. Kim is what we in the South refer to as “thick”. Nothing wrong with that, and she can work out every day for hours and hours and she’s still going to have a big, thick booty.

One last thing about Khloe Kardashian – yesterday, Radar reported that Khloe was in a “jealous rage” over Lamar’s flirtatious behavior with other women, and that Khloe had stormed out of a restaurant. Khloe corrected the record: “Sorry to disappoint everyone, but Lamar and I aren’t big fighters. Come to think of it, that was actually a really fun night out with all of our closest friends…lots of dancing, drinks and our usual silliness. Stories like these don’t really bother me too much anymore.” Oh, did you realize that Khloe and Lamar’s one-year anniversary is next month? Day-um, I didn’t think it would last this long.