Apparently the People’s Republic of China is getting stronger by the minute because they know things that we Americans don’t…

Drinking pee pee is essential for your health. But of course, the wacky, convincing SOB, aka Dong Wu, doesn’t discuss what those potential benefits are, except that the villagers are all old and astute.

But wait! Do not think less of them yet, they have principles!

“They only drink their own urine, the amount can not be too much, they drink only the upper part of their urine that is allowed to settle after they collect it in a cup.”

Well this stirred my nerves a bit. Why the hell was my mom feeding me breast milk when I could have had this?

(I considered making this post NSFW for the sheer barf factor. The Google search for “cup of pee” yielded nothing so I thought I’d use the composition of urine photo.)

Note by Celebitchy: In case you’re considering doing this crazy shit at home - don’t, but keep it in mind in case you’re trapped somewhere without water or a tasty beverage. From Skepdic.com

For most people most of the time, one’s own urine is not likely to be harmful. However, it is not likely to be healthful or useful except for those rare occasions when one is buried beneath a building or lost at sea for a week or two. In such situations drinking one’s own urine might be the difference between life and death. As a daily tonic, there are much tastier ways to introduce healthful products into one’s blood stream.

Michael Jackson is due to perform publically for the first time in ten years. He will be performing the graveyard scene from the “Thriller” video at the World Music Awards tonight, where he is also accepting the “Diamond” award for artists who have sold over 100 million records. It is the 25th anniversary of Thriller, which is the top selling album of all time with 40 million copies sold since it came out in 1981.

Jackson was photographed recently with disturbingly discolored Howard Hughs-like long nails. I’m not a doctor, but dark nails like that are definitely not normal. I tried to figure out what conditions that might indicate, and it seems like it could be a side effect of medication, particularly the cancer drug Cytoxan. Discolored nails can also be a symptom of cancer or some kind of poisoning, but from what I understand they usually show lines of discoloration or one oddly-colored nail, not consistently dark nail beds on each finger. (It could also be some sort of fungal or bacterial infection, which is probably most likely but doesn’t make for as interesting a story.)

Cytoxan is prescribed for cancer treatment and sometimes for kidney problems in children. Michael Jackson was sick several days during his trial in early 2005. He claimed to have suffered a bad spider bite at one point, and also had a “flu-like” illness that required hospitalization that many people assumed was stress from the trial. (Jackson was ultimately aquitted on all charges, and the latest news is that his accuser’s mother had defrauded the US government for more than $8,000 in welfare.)

Why are Michael Jackson’s nails so dark? Is he on Cytoxan for cancer, does he have nail fungus, or could he suffer from some strange medical condition that isn’t easily Googled? Are there any doctors out there than can provide some insight into my speculation of Jackson’s health? He definitely doesn’t look healthy and has some sort of scratch on his nose. His extreme plastic surgery and ghostly-white skin, which he claims is due to Vitiligo but is widely thought to be elective skin whitening, have made him look deathly ill for years.

It’s rather amazing that he’s performing again, though, and it seems kind of fitting that he’ll be doing “Thriller.”

Thanks to WWTDD for the header picture.

Update: commentor Nadine notes that she took Cytoxan for breast cancer and that her nails turned purple and then black, not the copper color as seen here. Other commentors mention that his nails have been this color for some time, and that he has tried to cover it up in the past.

Janet Charlton says that Jackson’s nails are that funky color due to the Vitiligo treatment he receives:

With the spotlight on Michael Jackson and his catastrophically reviewed performance on the World Music Awards, closeup photos of his hands are circulating. Observers have exclaimed that his peculiar looking dark, rough fingernails nails indicate that he’s desperately in need of a good manicure. Actually those brown nails are a result of Michael’s vitiligo. Back when Jackson started getting white skin discolorations he had a choice of two treatments. He could use medication to darken the white areas on his skin or use medication to bleach and lighten his brown skin. Usually patients choose to change the color of their spots, but Michael wanted to lighten all his skin to match the white areas. The skin under his nails is discolored, which is a side effect of the process. Only recently did he start showing his hands - he usually keeps them out of sight so he doesn’t SCARE children.

This video is so graphic I’m not posting it here, and you can go on over to Gawker to watch it. This proves that Anna Nicole Smith will stop at nothing to get some cash, because she sold this video for $1 million dollars. I don’t know why I’m surprised, considering that her claim to fame was marrying an 89 year-old guy she met while stripping the afternoon shift.

I’m pretty grateful that this was taped off the television instead of being directly transfered to video, because the added bit of blur gives it that much less of an edge, but it’s still really cringe-worthy. If Danielle was still alive he would be mortified, and this footage is sure to haunt Dannielynn for the rest of her ridiculed life.

RadarOnline uncovered this raunchy old picture of Arnold Swarzenegger fingering some chick at a restaurant while his buddies laugh and look on. There are plenty of frat boys who wouldn’t pull a stunt like this and allow themselves to be photographed.

His movies are as far from Oscar-worthy as Bush’s performance as commander in chief is to winning a humanitarian award, (ok, maybe they’re closer in some cases, like “Twins”) so that could explain his poor reasoning.

This picture isn’t surprising, considering that Ahnald admitted in 1977 to enjoying orgies with other horny bodybuilders.

Here’s what he said in a Oui interview at the time.

It looks like “the serious stuff” for Arnold now involves controlling the seventh largest economy in the world.

The closeup on this picture skeeved me out almost as much as learning what a “Dirty Sanchez” was, so look at it at your own risk.

Jennifer Lopez’s makeup looks simply awful. That shade of green eyeshadow is hideous and coupled with that bleeding pale-pink lipstick and shiny skin she just looks bad. Wouldn’t you wipe off your face and reapply your own makeup if a colorblind makeup artist did that to you?

Lopez is being sued for $35,000 for not paying for flights she and husband Marc Anthony chartered. Maybe she’s trying to show how poor she is by wearing bad drug store makeup.

She is seen at the Childrens Hospital of Los Angeles 2nd Noche de Ninos Gala on 10/8. [via]

Avril Lavigne was videotaped and photographed spitting at paparrazi while leaving club Hyde last Wednesday after celebrating her birthday with her husband and some friends. That was the second night in a row she spit on photographers outside of Hyde. On Thursday the Lavigne-Whibley family celebrated their third night of paparrazi spitting with Deryck contributing some saliva of his own.

TMZ has the shaky videos. On Avril birthday she’s seen leaving the club, signing autographs and saying “fuck you” several times to the photographers wishing her happy birthday. She spits when her car is about to pull away, and sticks her foot out of the window. It’s hard to tell what’s going on, and the pictures tell a better story.

The previous night, TMZ reports that Avril called the photographer over by saying “hey fuckhead,” before she spit right in his lens.

Maybe Avril’s apology would seem sincere if it happened once, but two nights in a row followed by her husband spitting too? As she mentions, she’s apologizing for the fans:

She’s outside a nightclub that stars frequent, what does she expect? I used to have a better opinion of Avril, and if she had only done it once on her birthday I might not have cared, but three spits and you’re trash.

Pictures from Alavigne.com.br

Here’s Diane Keaton walking around barefoot and talking on the phone while picking her nose and examing it. She doesn’t seem to eat it, though, as Brooke Shields was busted doing just a couple of weeks ago.

Cindy Crawford was also photographed picking her nose, and I saw some candids of Michele Williams rolling one out a couple of months ago.

This is rather pointless, I know, and we all need to get rid of boogers somehow. Maybe it’s because I have a kid, but I usually have one of those mini packs of Kleenex on me.

Pictures from Gossip Rocks.

Six Flags Great America in Illinois is offering people free line-jumping priviledges during their Holloween season viist if they take a bite of a giant hissing Madagascar cochroach. PETA is calling this cruel. Since when did they defend insects?

This is during freaking Halloween season, so it’s not like the lines are long enough to make it worthwhile to take a bite out of one of those nasty giant bugs. You don’t even get in free for eating one.

I was going to include a picture here, but the things are huge - they take up half your hand, and the thought of biting into one really skeeved me out. Here are some pictures of the Madagascar hissing cockroaches.

I would wait in line for three days before you would catch me eating one of those things, but I wouldn’t hesitate to crush one if I was wearing thick enough shoes.

Why is PETA defending bugs now? Sometimes I let spiders free on our balcony instead of smooshing them, but it seems over-the-top to come to the defense of these bugs, and PETA loses some credibility for it, in my opinion.

Six Flags also says they’re trying to find people willing to try to break the live Madagascar cockroach eating record of 36 in one minute. Of course there will be a huge crowd watch. If someone successfully breaks the record they’ll get four season passes with line-jumping status - for one year. That’s a crappy prize, and there’s no word on the consolation prizes for losers.

The whole promotion is pretty disgusting and dumb, but people are going to go for it and Six Flags is getting plenty of free publicity.

Thanks to Fark for linking this.