Why does she keep collapsing? “My schedule is such that I don’t get very much time to eat. But I certainly don’t have an eating problem. A little MDMA [Ecstasy] once in a while never killed anybody, but I really don’t do drugs. I don’t touch cocaine any more. I don’t smoke. Well, maybe a single cigarette – with whisky – while I’m working, because it just frees my mind a little bit. But I care about my voice. The thrill of my voice being healthy on stage is really special. I take care of myself.”
On the stories that she was a total diva at the Met Gala: “I wasn’t nervous! To be honest with you, I don’t give a f*** about red carpets, and I never do them. I don’t like them. First of all – how could any of these outfits possibly look good with an ugly red carpet under them? It’s just visually horrid. Hollywood is not what it used to be. I don’t want to be perceived as… one of the other bitches in a gown. I wasn’t nervous. Don’t be SILLY!”
How does she keep depression at bay? “Prescription medicine. I can’t control my thoughts at all. I’m tortured. But I like that. Lorca says it’s good to be tortured. The thoughts are unstoppable – but so is the music. It comes to me constantly. That’s why I got this tattoo,” she says, proffering a white arm through the black cloak-folds. It is a quote from the poet and art critic Rainer Maria Rilke: “In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself: ‘Must I write?’”
On tatttos: “I think tattoos have power. I did it as a way to kind of… inject myself with a steadfastness about music. People say I should take a break, but I’m like, ‘Why should I take a break? What do you want me to do – go on vacation?’ ”
What’s the nearest Gaga has ever come to death? “I have heart palpitations and… things. [Recently.] But it’s OK. It’s just from fatigue and other things. I’m very connected to my aunt, Joanne, who died of lupus. It’s a very personal thing. I don’t want my fans to be worried about me.” Gaga confirms that lupus is genetic and that she’s been tested and says, “But I don’t want anyone to be worried.” Of course, she hasn’t said, outright, “I have lupus.” But the suggestion throws the whole previous year – being delayed on stage, cancelling gigs, having to call the emergency services – into sharp relief.
When was the last time you called for a doctor? “The other day. In Tokyo. I was having trouble breathing. I had a little oxygen, then I went on stage. I was OK. But like I say, I don’t want anyone to worry.”
On her best purchase so far: “I bought my parents a car. It’s a Rolls-Royce. It’s black. My dad’s very Italian, so I wanted to get him a real Godfather car. I had it delivered on their wedding anniversary. He thought I’d got him a dancing gorillagram,” she giggled. The car had a huge bow on it, and the message, “A car to last like a love like yours.” At first, Gaga’s parents just thought they had it for the day, to drive round in. When she told them it was theirs to keep, her father shouted “You’re crazy!” and burst into tears. “You see, I don’t really spend money and I don’t really like fame. I spend my money on my shows – but I don’t like buying things. I don’t buy diamonds, because I don’t know where they came from. I’ll spend it on fashion.”
On the late Alexander McQueen: “I miss Lee every time I get dressed… But you know what I spend most of my money on? Disappearing. I hate the paparazzi. Because the truth is – no matter what people tell you – you can control it. If you put as much money into your security as you put into your cars or your diamonds or your jewellery, you can just… disappear. People who say they can’t get away are lying. They must just like the… big flashes.”
Gaga on how most acts are “lazy”: “I hate big acts that just throw an album out against the wall, like ‘BUY IT! F*** YOU!’ It’s mean to fans. You should go out and tour it to your fans in India, Japan, the UK. I don’t believe in how the music industry is today. I believe in how it was in 1982.” She explains she doesn’t mind about people downloading her music for free, “because you know how much you can earn off touring, right? Big artists can make anywhere from $40 million [£28 million] for one cycle of two years’ touring. Giant artists make upwards of $100 million. Make music – then tour. It’s just the way it is today.”
She’s already written her new album: “I don’t understand bands who say they’ll tour for one year, then record the next. I make music every DAY! I can’t talk about it yet! But everyone’s going to f***ing know about it when it comes out. You know when people say, ‘If you could say one sentence about who you are, what your life is?’ It’s that. For the whole album. Because I recently had this… miracle-like experience, where I feel much more connected to God.”
On religion: “I will say that religion is very confusing for everyone, and particularly me, because there’s really no religion that doesn’t hate or condemn a certain kind of people, and I totally believe in all love and forgiveness, and excluding no one.”
Would she play for the Pope? “Yeah,” Gaga says. There’s a pause. Perhaps she considers her current stage show, and the section where her male dancers grab their gigantic, fake white penises, and bounce them off their palms to Boys Boys Boys. “Well. I’d do an acoustic show for the Pope,” she amends.
On going out: “I really love a dingy, pissy bar. I’m really old-school that way.”
The rest of the piece goes on and on. Gaga invites the lady out on the town in Berlin, and they go to a sex club and they get hammered. It actually sounds like a lot of fun – I would love to go get drunk with Gaga at a Berlin sex club. After the initial conversation about lupus, Gaga and the interviewer don’t talk about it anymore. It kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? I guess she could have lupus. Either that or she’s just been overworked and exhausted and she’s tired of being “Lady Gaga” 24/7. Either/or.