I know it’s cool to hate on Hugh Hefner these days. I know we’re supposed to hate him because he’s old and out of touch and really, all of the stuff with the girlfriends and that sleazy fiancé, that was all very gross. But I can’t hate the man – I was recently watching a documentary about him, and he really is a cultural iconoclast who was relevant for decades, who pushed important issues and who, I believe, was on the right side of history on racial issues, freedom of speech, feminism issues and issues of women’s choice and birth control. Is he out of touch right now? Sure. But he’s 85 years old, and he still manages to be coherent and cognizant enough to make a decent enough point.

So Hef gave another interview to discuss Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy cover. Initial reports suggested that the LL cover wasn’t selling, but Hef claimed over the weekend that it was “breaking records”. Now he’s trying to justify why LL was chosen and how he had to lay down the law:

Hugh Hefner believes Lindsay Lohan’s Marilyn Monroe-themed Playboy pictorial will be a keepsake – but the media mogul admits he initially had doubts about featuring the embattled actress on its cover.

“The concept came from my editors,” Hefner, 85, told PEOPLE during a recent interview at the Playboy Mansion in L.A.

“I had mixed emotions to begin with,” he said. “I could not have anticipated, quite frankly, that it would turn out to be such a sensational newsworthy event, or that the pictorial would turn out so well.”

Oddly enough, the two have never crossed paths – even at the photo shoot. Even so, Hefner, who says Lohan, 25, is “carrying around some serious luggage,” hopes the Playboy opportunity is a step in the right direction.

“Historically, Playboy pictorials are connected to celebrities at various times in their career,” Hefner says. “Sometimes it’s the beginning of their career and sometimes it comes at a particular moment – as with Lindsay – that is intended as a turnaround.”

Using Drew Barrymore as an example of someone whose career skyrocketed after landing the magazine’s cover during a career low, Hefner says his wish is that “this is a born-again beginning for Lindsay. I think there’s a rooting interest for her.”

Part of the success of the shoot probably stems Hef’s direction that Lohan posed fully naked.

During negotiations, “Some of the people around her said, ‘No, no, no, I don’t want her nude,’ ” he says. “And I said, ‘No, this is how it’s going to be. This is how it is.’ “

[From People]

It still mystifies me that LL pretended to have qualms about posing nude. The girl used to flash her vadge like crazy, and she dropped trou for other photoshoots too. And she’s basically a call girl. So what’s the big deal? Was it just her way of demanding more money? Probably.

As for the pictorial being the “turn-around” moment in LL’s career – fat chance. I guess it’s nice that Hef thinks LL still has the capability for “turning it around” though. He’s a nice old codger.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

In Kendra Wilkinson’s 2010 memoir, Sliding into Home, she pretty much pre-confirmed the details of sex with Hugh Hefner that Crystal Harris spouted on Howard Stern last week. We covered some of the excerpts last year, and Hollywood Life has this more thorough account of the passage in Kendra’s book in which she recounts her first sex session with Hef and the other girls. This is the first time I’m reading this more complete passage, and she goes into more detail than I expected. Warning: if you think too hard about this it may bother you.

“Eventually everyone got out of the tub and climbed onto Hef’s bed, where he was lying on his back waiting. There were about seven other girls with me, and we were all [nude]. Someone handed me some body gel, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it, so I set it aside on the bed. Holly got things started by getting Hef going, um, orally. Meanwhile, some of the other girls were slapping ass, getting all kinky, and yelling out all sorts of crazy things. I was scared — these girls were strangers to me. I just sat on the edge of the bed and watched. I wanted to be left alone and only do what I had to do. One by one, each girl hopped on Hef and had sex with him. By this point my mom’s voice was no longer in my head, thank goodness, I was just focused on what was going on in front of me. Each girl rode Hef for about a minute or so and then hopped off and did her own thing — some fooled around with the other girls, while others just sort of sat to the side and watched. I studied their every move. Then it was my turn. I had been taking notes in my head, so I knew about a minute was all I needed to put in. Counting the time in my head, I had sex with Hef for the first time. At about the minute mark, I pulled away and it was done. It was like a job. Clock in, clock out. Or in this case, c*ck in, c*ck out.”

[From Hollywood Life]

Kendra admitted that it wasn’t a love match with Hef and described in detail how she endured her time with him for just one minute the first time they had sex. Guess what Kendra had to say about Crystal Harris’ admission on Howard Stern that she wasn’t attracted to Hef and that they had sex once and it last two seconds. She called her trash.

“She just needs to keep her mouth shut, and be classy about it,” the reality star, 26, tells me Saturday when she hosts The Pool After Dark at Harrah’s Atlantic City. “After the whole non-marriage thing broke to the news, I actually thought she was being classy about things, until she started opening her mouth about the bed stuff. She just totally made herself look like crap. She looks like trash. I mean, it’s disgusting. She needs to keep her mouth shut, and be a bigger person. Walk away. People don’t like that. People don’t like a hypocrite. She’s a hypocrite.”

“It’s not classy how she is opening her mouth the way she is. Hef’s been Hef for how many years now?! He just needs to kick her a** out, throw her to the curb and keep living his life. With all the drama he’s had for 86 years, what’s this one girl going to do? He needs to throw her to the curb and move on with his life.”

[From OK! Magazine]

So Crystal is “trash” and a “hypocrite” for saying that sex with Hef lasted two seconds, but when Kendra described sex with Hef as lasting a minute that she counted down in her head that was totally different. Hef needs to put a non disclosure clause in the contracts he has with these ‘hos. $2k a week, free room and board and free plastic surgery should at least be able to buy their silence.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Hugh Hefner is shown with the playmate of the year, Claire Sinclair, on 5/6/11

Last week Hugh Hefner’s runaway bride Crystal Harris went on Howard Stern to say that she’d never seen Hef naked, that they only had sex once and that it lasted 2 seconds. “He isn’t half as sexual as you’d think,” she added. Hef then went on Twitter to deny that was the case, tweeting in part that “The sex with Crystal the first night was good enough so that I kept her over two more nights…. Crystal lied about our relationship on Howard Stern but I don’t know why.” He later wrote that he loved her but that he “realized she really didn’t love me.”

Well Crystal has apologized on Twitter without fully taking responsibility. She wrote “The Stern interview scared me, he’s harsh. I was unprepared and blurted out things I shouldn’t have said, I’m sorry.” Anyone who is surprised by Stern questioning them about their sex life is either truly clueless or lying.

Hef then defended himself on Twitter, yet again, to give more specific details of his sexual prowess. He first diplomatically responded to Crystal’s apology, writing “I don’t blame Howard. Crystal shouldn’t have been booked on the show at this sensitive time.” Then he wrote “For the record, I have sex on a weekly basis, and did throughout my 2-and-a-half years with Crystal.” He followed up with “My sex life involves more than one partner & has since the end of my marriage in 1998.” (This was probably in response to Crystal crying that she was “not the only woman in Hef’s life,” to which he previously countered that she loved.)

We didn’t need that visual, but that’s pretty much what all the other women he paid to live in his house have said over the years. Hef is slowing down, though. He used to have sex parties twice a week. In an interview with the Daily Beast earlier this year, Hef confirmed a former bunny’s account that he has unprotected sex, but claimed that it was no problem since the women were tested for STDs. “One of the ways that you resolve that problem is to have sex with people who don’t have sexually transmitted diseases.” This guy’s money and influence have allowed him to be stuck in a 70s bubble he’s built in which the women never age and he can maintain the facade of a sex god who doesn’t have to get with the times and wrap it up. It’s clear that he’s upset that anyone would call him on that illusion. It’s probably one he works hard to maintain in his own mind too.

Hugh Hefner is shown with the playmate of the year, Claire Sinclair, on 5/6/11. He’s also shown on 6/25/11 and with Crystal and Sophia Berglund on 4/28/11. Credit: WENN.com

The more Crystal Harris talks, the deeper she digs her own hole. Eariler this week she admitted that she was attracted to Hugh Hefner because of the Playboy lifestyle, the same lifestyle she blamed for breaking up with him. In an interview with Howard Stern yesterday, Harris said that sex with Hef turned her off and that the guy only lasted two seconds. Whatever happened in that moldy old bedroom, that is TMI and it’s not cool to kiss and tell. The guy let her keep the Bentley and the $90k ring. The least she could do is keep his sex secrets. Harris also said that life with Hef was stifling and that he kept a tight rein on her, which she’s spoken of in the past. Here’s more, from Howard Stern’s website:

Sex with Hef: it never really happened
“He doesn’t really take off his clothes. I’ve never seen Hef naked. I don’t know if I want to.”

Crystal said she and Hef only had sex once in their entire relationship: “He’s had so much sex. He’s more about, like, cuddling…touchy-feely kind of stuff.” It lasted just 2 seconds, with Crystal climbing off Hef before he climaxed: “He tried not to take Viagra as much any more because it made him lose his hearing.” The whole scene isn’t half as sexual as you’d think: “There’s baby oil all over the mansion and I don’t understand why.”

How Hef tried to control her
The first year I was there I was able to go on vacation with my family and snowboarding. And the second year I asked to do the same things and got told no…I think he’s insecure. I think he’s always been that way.” Asked what was worse, the sex or the schedule, Crystal shrugged: “The worst part of it was the schedule. I mean, we weren’t that sexual.”

Crystal said she started to feel imprisoned by the schedule: “I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t do anything.” And quickly learned that she actually was a prisoner: “Hef and I had gotten into a small argument. I just needed to breathe–get away. I started to leave and Hef called down to security and said, ‘If Crystal tries to leave, contain her.’”

Details of her prenup
Worse than his rigid rule was Hef’s obsession with old movies: “It’s like the history lesson I never wanted.” Even his bedside proposal was a disaster: “He brings out a ring and hands it to me and says, ‘I hope it fits.’” Crystal’s marriage was really an arrangement: she would’ve collected $800K on the day of the wedding and another 500K for every year she stayed with him. This was on top of her $2K/week cash allowance.

How she got out
Crystal finally snuck away just days before their wedding, waiting until Hef had started the traditional Sunday night movie (the latest X-Men film) and lying to the Mansion staff: “I got my keys and told security that I had to run to the store.” Crystal said her best friend is now Hef’s #1 girlfriend: “I’m not mad at her at all. I know all the reasons why she wants to be there.”

[From Howard Stern]

That’s so mean to make that public, especially to declare that you were never attracted to someone you intended to marry. That just makes Crystal look bad, not Hef. Hef responded very calmly on Twitter to deny Crystal’s claims, but has since deleted the tweets. He did link to this GossipCop recap of what he wrote, though. He tweeted “Crystal did a crazy interview with Howard Stern today that didn’t have much to do with reality. Is she trying to impress a new boyfriend?” and then later that “The sex with Crystal the first night was good enough so that I kept her over two more nights…. Crystal lied about our relationship on Howard Stern but I don’t know why.” Just as he was on his post-split interview with Piers Morgan, Hef remained very gracious and kind about Crystal despite what she said. He wrote “When I said, ‘I missed a bullet’ when Crystal left, I didn’t mean I didn’t love her. I meant I realized she really didn’t love me.” Hef may be an old perv, but he’s a classy one. I hope Crystal fades away after this. She seemed like a conniving opportunist after she nearly married Hef and then ditched him. Now she seems like a nasty one too.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Crystal Harris and her Botoxy face were on The View yesterday, where Joy grilled her on why she left Hugh Hefner five days before their scheduled wedding. Crystal has already revealed her vague reasons for leaving Hef and has addressed the rumors that she was using him for the fame. Hef has been very gracious in his response to getting dumped right before the wedding, and has refrained from trash-talking Crystal or blaming her. On The View, Crystal wasn’t any more convincing in explaining her reasoning for leaving Hef than she was in the past, and she faltered and kind of hesitated when she was trying to defend herself. After a little while she warmed up though and tried to weakly make her case.

On why she bolted five days before the wedding
Crystal: I got cold feet.

Joy: What was it
Crystal: Just everything, uh it all happened so fast, and I just decided that it’s not…

Joy: At your age, 25 and 85 what were you attracted to besides his money? What else?
Uh, well. I was intrigued with the whole Playboy lifestyle. Growing up I would look at Playboy Magazine. I was insecure, so I thought ‘could I ever be that girl? Could I ever be a Playmate?’ I started coming up to the mansion… met Hef, he asked me to move in 2 weeks later. I was flattered. I had fun there.

Elisabeth: When you told him it was off, how did he react?
I told him ‘I don’t think the wedding’s a good idea.’ He actually said he was only doing it for me, so he didn’t really want to get married either.

Whoopi: It sounded more like you had left him at the altar. That is not the case… I’m terribly sorry that I said [anything about it]

What about those people who said you were going to leave him at the altar as a publicity stunt?
No.

Sherri: What kind of dialogue did you have, were you guys able to talk?
Yes we were, Hef’s a great guy, an icon. He’s funny, he’s hilarious. He’s so set in his ways… we had a lot of fun.

Sherri: There was a rumor that you were seeing Dr. Phil’s son Jordan.
That’s not true. Jordan’s one of my friends, he will continue to be one of my friends.

Elisabeth: Are you dating anyone now?
I’m open to it.

On the $90,000 ring and the Bentley she went away with.
I came to the mansion to return the ring. Hef told me I could keep it. The car I paid 1/2 for and he paid the other half [as] a birthday present.

Crystal also claimed that she took her engagement ring, which Hef let her keep, to a friend’s jewelry store to get it appraised for insurance. She said the friend sold her out to TMZ to make it look like she was trying to hock the ring. As for potential plans for a reality show, Crystal claimed “I have no plans of any reality show.” So it sounds like she’s not ruling it out.

When Joy asked Crystal what about Hef attracted her she could have said that he was funny, that she was attracted to his experience and knowledge or that she loved him. Even if she was lying through her teeth, it would have been the expected response. Instead she said she “was intrigued with the whole Playboy lifestyle” and wanted to be a Playmate. This is from the same woman who explained that “this isn’t the lifestyle for me” when she was leaving Hef. So maybe she wasn’t fibbing either way: she wanted the lifestyle then she realized she couldn’t do it. Of course she never wanted an 85 year-old dude as her husband, he was just the vehicle to achieve that lifestyle. Then, when she realized she could do better on her own she ditched the dude and snuck out while he was watching a movie. I shouldn’t be too hard on her, Hef knew what he was getting and he doesn’t have any hard feelings about it. He’s replaced her several times already and there are always plenty more where she came from.

If you’re in the US you can watch the full interview with Crystal on Hulu starting at around 30 minutes in. Here’s a quick news report with clips from CelebTV.

Here’s Crystal hosting an event at Ceasar’s Palace on 7/8/11. Those shoes are so tacky! Holly is going to cut her for muscling in on her territory. Credit: WENN.com

When Crystal Harris dumped Hugh Hefner a few days before their June wedding she gave the excuse that she wasn’t the only woman in his life, saying he “doesn’t live a normal lifestyle, there’s women around all the time… I was not the only woman.” Only according to Hef that’s just not true and Crystal was down with other women and more than aware of the situation before they were set to be married. In an interview with Piers Morgan last week, Hef revealed that Crystal “loved the girls,” according to his perspective. He also very carefully suggested she was cheating on him, and expressed regret for letting his last girlfriend, Holly Madison, go.

On Crystal’s statement that she left because of other women
Most of what she has said publicly is not true. And is clearly not what is really going on. And what her reaction was all about. She loved the lifestyle. She loved the girls. So, you know.

On why Crystal left
I think there is at least one other guy in the picture. I think there’s something more we don’t know. And I think that maybe as she got — I think that the career was more important to her than she let on.

Why he was willing to marry her – because he lost his chance with Holly
I think that’s a very valid question. I think quite frankly now, the day after, I’m asking myself the same thing. You know. Where was my head? I did it — I made the commitment, quite frankly, because I felt that I had — in a previous relationship with Holly not been there for her in the way that she wanted me to be.

On if Crystal took him for a ride
I think an argument could be made that she took me for a ride. But I must say, quite frankly, it was a pretty nice ride.

It was 2 1/2 very good years. And if she was faking it, she did it very well. She certainly convinced me that she was — I wouldn’t even kind of play at the possibility of marriage if I didn’t think that she was really, really committed to me. So, you know. If she was fooling, and a good case can be made that she was, she did a very good job.

On how Crystal got the Bentley, the ring and a little cash
Well, she asked for a Bentley right before we split. So she got the car. She got the ring. She didn’t have to get it. You know….

The ring was I would say around $60,000, $70,000. But to her credit, we had a dog. Have a dog. Charlie. And I love the dog. She brought it back. And felt that I missed it more than she did.

On if he gave Crystal cash
A little but not a great deal. Yes. As I say, she would have gotten a good deal more if she’d gotten married.

[From Transcripts.CNN.com]

Hef also revealed that after Crystal told him she didn’t want to get married he said that was fine and they could still stay together. Instead of telling him that she wanted to leave she snuck out with her stuff while he was watching a movie. Hef got choked up retelling this part. He was pretty nice about everything and could have put in a few digs at Crystal but he just kind of told it like it happened.

E! News has more on Crystal and Hef’s “runaway bride” special to air on Lifetime tomorrow, July 19th, which was originally going to be their wedding special. In the preview clip on E! (spoilers I guess, that’s below) Holly and Kendra visit Hef to comfort him after the breakup. He tells Holly “I think I screwed up with us.” From Holly’s body language, I think it’s safe to assume that ship has passed. Holly wouldn’t have ditched Hef at the altar, but she probably would have divorced him after a few years. She wanted children badly and when that didn’t happen for her she left. Plus it’s not like Hef is pining for Holly. He already has two bottle blonde replacement girlfriends, Anna Berglund and Shera Bechard, and showed them both off on CNN.

Hugh and Crystal are shown on 6/4/11. Credit: WENN.com

Hugh with Sophia. He also claims to be dating Shera Bechard, below

It’s been well established that it’s pretty much a revolving door at the Playboy Mansion. As long as there bottle blondes under 30 with fake tits willing to live rent free in exchange for $1,000 cash a week and strings attached companionship, Hugh Hefner will have girlfriends. So pretty much until he kicks it. He’s already confirmed that he immediately filled the vacancy left by would-be bride Crystal Harris with her best friend, Anna Sophia Berglund. Hef and his new #1 were photographed at The Kandyland Party at the Playboy Mansion over the weekend. Then Hef tweeted to someone that he has yet another girlfriend, Miss November Shera Bechard, supposedly 27. So to land a Playboy centerfold do you have to be an enthusiastic participant in the Viagra-thons? It probably helps considerably.

While Hugh Hefner’s ex-fiancée has been busy party hopping and frolicking poolside, the Playboy mogul, 85, has wasted no time lining up fresh lady loves.

Just a few days after calling his new “best girl” Anna Sophia Berglund, “one in a million,” Hefner announced an additional gal pal, who he calls “darling.”

“Shera [Bechard] is both our November 2011 Playmate & my new girlfriend,” Hef Tweeted Monday to an inquiring follower.

Bechard, 27, is a Canada native who starred in the 2009 thriller Sweet Karma, playing a mute Russian girl.

[From People]

The twin 21 year-olds, Karissa and Krista Shannon, also moved back into the Playboy Mansion about a week ago. Karissa’s boyfriend and sex tape partner, Sam Jones III (Pete Ross on Smallville) just got sentenced to a year in federal prison for his role in an illegal Oxycodone ring, so it probably seemed like a good option for her to go back to Hef. It must be getting crowded over there. You wonder if E! is going to film any of this, although that Girls Next Door show ended in 2010 and seems to have been put out to pasture. You can’t keep changing the cast and expecting the audience to remain interested.

Photo credit: WENN and Fame

In really predictable news, Hugh Hefner is allegedly telling his friends that he should have manned up and proposed to Holly when he had the chance. He was of course dumped by “24″ year-old Crystal Harris just a few days before his wedding was set to take place last weekend. It’s not clear if Holly would have married Hef back when they were together. She was open about hoping to have Hef’s children and admitted to funding her own fertility treatments in a futile attempt to get pregnant with his baby. It’s too late now anyway, Holly has moved on to her own career filming a reality show and getting paid for Vegas appearances and she’s dating a guy who is presumably young enough to have swimmable sperm.

Hugh Hefner, 85, is pining for his ex-flame now that his engagement to much younger girlfriend Crystal Harris, 26, has been called off. She got cold feet just days before her $1 million wedding to the eternal playboy!

Earlier this year, former Playboy Playmate Holly Madison, 32, expressed her concern for Hef to Life & Style magazine, worrying that Crystal was “using him to start her career.” After she heard the engagement was called off, Holly went straight to the Playboy mansion to give Hef her support.

While she’s happy to be a shoulder to lean on, sources close to the reality star insist that she and Hef will never rekindle their romance, explaining, “That chapter of her life is closed.” Holly is now dating the managing partner of XS nightclub in Las Vegas, Jesse Waits.

So sad for Hef — he’s reportedly been telling people, “I should’ve married Holly.”

[From Hollywood Life]

He should have married Holly, but Holly actually was there for him and wasn’t using him like Crystal was. He wasn’t that interested in a woman who would have stood by him and cared for him when he inevitably got sick, and he picked the fickle one who ended up leaving him. He got what he deserved in the end.

Last week Crystal did an interview with Entertainment Tonight which was aired in two parts. We covered the first part of the interview, where she basically said Hugh was cheating on her, but didn’t own up to her long running affair with Dr. Phil’s son. I actually wanted to cover the second part but forgot about it until it was too late – she was bitching about her curfew under Hef and basically confirmed the strict schedule he has his concubines on. Several other paid guests at the mansion have confirmed this account – the girls had to be back home for curfew and they had to show up for movie nights on the weekend. They were getting paid a thousand dollars a week cash, they got free room and board and a clothing and plastic surgery allowance yet they still bitched about their curfew. It’s like they didn’t want to show up for work.

As for what Crystal will do next, she tells ET she has “no idea,” but she did show up to host a pool party in Vegas over the weekend. She better not be trying to launch a career there or Holly will cut a bitch.

Holly is shown on 6/22/11 and with Hef in August, 2008. Crystal is shown on 6/18/11. Credit: Fame and WENN.com

Crystal, Hugh and Anna
That took a hot minute. Hugh Hefner has been tweeting about how much “support” he’s been getting from his former fiance Crystal’s best friend, a girl named Anna. It turns out that Anna was more than willing to step and take Crystal’s place when she left. Like Hef’s runaway bride, Anna is also 24. She was Playboy’s Miss January 2011. Anna may have been one of the women that Crystal was referring to when she tried to fake cry over the breakup and claimed “I was not the only woman in Hef’s life.” Whatever went on in that little triangle, there seem to be no hard feelings between Anna and Crystal, because they’ve been tweeting about planning a vacation together.

In a shocking turn of events, TMZ has learned Hugh Hefner is coping with his breakup with Crystal Harris by cozying up a to a new woman … and she’s a Playboy Playmate too! Didn’t see that coming.

According to our sources, Hef has a new main girl — Miss January 2011 Anna Sophia Berglund. According to our sources, Anna has now moved into Hef’s room and the two have taken to calling each other “babe” around other people. We’re told during a recent movie night at the Playboy Mansion, the two were cuddling and kissing during the entire movie.

One source put it bluntly — “It’s clear Hef has moved on to Anna.”

Sources close to Crystal tell us that while Anna was never singled out, the constant presence of girls around wore on Crystal and played a role in her decision to call it off.

[From TMZ]

Not only is Hef seeing this girl, the ex-felon Shannon twins, Karissa and Kristina, 21, are moving back into the Playboy Mansion now that Crystal has moved out. I’m not kidding. This guy can’t be without young things to keep him company. It’s kind of stomach-churning if you think about it.

Meanwhile Crystal co-hosted a party with Heidi Montag at Vegas’ Wet Republic on Saturday, the day she was to be married to Hef. Hef’s ex Holly Madison called it a “new low” for Crystal, and tweeted that it was “disgusting” and “tacky.” She’s probably more pissed off that Crystal is in her territory, in Vegas.

Hef is tweeting that everything is fine between him and Crystal, though, and that they’re friends. He wrote that “Crystal came by to see how I’ve been doing. We remain close friends,” adding that she left their dog Charlie with him “because she thinks he’s happier here & I appreciate it, because I really missed him.” He tweeted that it’s probably better that he’s single and that he “just missed a bullet.” His sons and daughter also dodged a bullet because they’re not going to have to see their inheritance go to some tramp under 30 who married their dad for his money. At least, not yet.

Hugh, Crystal and Anna are shown on 5/6/11. Crystal is shown on 6/18/11. Credit: Denise Truscello/Wire Image

I believe that Crystal Harris is “24,” I sort-of do. I just think the bitch had so much Botox that she looks about 15 years older easily. That’s what premature work will do to you. It will also make it harder for you to feel empathy or to look like you’re crying when you try to squeeze out some crocodile tears for ditching your octogenarian fiance right before the wedding. We’ve already heard that Crystal went on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show to explain why she broke up with Hef right before the wedding, and she didn’t say much about it, just that she realized it wasn’t the “lifestyle” she wanted (aka not being able to bone other guys under 50). In a new interview on Entertainment Tonight, Crystal tries to add a bunch of other reasons for the breakup that don’t add up. She claims “it all happened so fast,” that Hef had cameras and photographers around when he proposed to her, and that he “doesn’t live a normal lifestyle, there’s women around all the time… I was not the only woman in Hef’s life. A marriage is between two people. That’s not what our relationship was.”

Now this doesn’t jibe with what she’s said in the past. I saw this girl with Hef on the Piers Morgan show in late February, and she was super excited for the wedding and had planned it out down to specific details like where they were going to say their vows. Hef also vowed to be faithful to her (unless she told him it was ok), and she said “I trust him. We have fun… [but] We don’t have a traditional anything.” So she knew what she was getting into, and she had six months from when he proposed to when they were going to get married, that’s not particularly “fast.”

So instead of Crystal being the one who was cheating she’s now claiming Hef was cheating on her. I’m not buying it at all. I think she used him for the money and fame, she had a guy on the side and once she got enough publicity to launch her career she ditched him. All she had to do was hang around for another 10-15 years and she would have been a wealthy woman, but she couldn’t manage even that. She waited until her single came out, though, and until she scored the cover of Playboy.