Last week, I almost wrote about some new Kellan Lutz photos that were especially Kellan Lutzy. He had darkened his hair and grown a goatee, and the effect was interesting. He almost looked normal, honestly. The darker hair made him look less like a serial killer and for a brief, shining moment, I thought to myself “Hey, this Kellan Lutz might be alright after all.”

Unfortunately, Kellan Lutz decided to mess with a perfectly good Kellan Lutzy thing. First he tweeted the photo below with the message, “Movember equals MoHawk month right, or was it Mustache? … Out with the old and in with the new, good bye dark hair it’s been fun.”

Kellan Lutz with a Kellan Lutzy Mohawk? NOOooooooo. Good thing that the ‘Hawk was just a temporary thing – Kellan later tweeted a new photo with this message, “Love swimming in the ocean here in Australia with my shaved head. Brings back a lot of Great Generation Kill memories! If only we could do a season 2! Jason Lilley out, Brah. Good times.”

So Kellan Lutz shaved his glorious Kellan Lutzy head. And now his serial killer look is back and in full effect. Kellan Lutz even gave some particularly awesome, Kellan Lutzy quotes to Us Weekly: “I can’t really sing, I can’t play the guitar, but God gave me a physique, which is nice. I’m very athletic and I enjoy playing any sport and every sport.” Yes, Kellan.

Photos courtesy of Kellan’s Twitter & WENN.

With some movies, reviews just don’t matter. Such was the case for the latest Twilight Saga installment, Breaking Dawn Part I, which received a 29% certified “rotten” score from critics yet nonetheless went on to secure an estimated $139.5 million opening weekend. Even though this result isn’t quite as remarkable as New Moon‘s $142.5 million opener, Summit Entertainment still has absolutely nothing to complain about:

While it wasn’t quite able to reach the series high $139.5 million opening indicated that the sexy teen vampires are as popular as ever. What does appear to have lost some of its appeal, however, is dancing penguins: Happy Feet Two struggled to even open to half as much as its popular 2006 predecessor. Overall box office was up around 20 percent to at least $218 million, and the weekend could wind up ranking as the fifth-highest on record.

Breaking Dawn‘s $139.5 million opening is second-best among Twilight movies behind 2009′s New Moon ($142.7 million). That’s a small gap, though, and Breaking Dawn still managed to claim fifth place on the all-time opening weekend chart behind Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, The Dark Knight, Spider-Man 3 and New Moon. As is typical for the Twilight movies, its weekend was incredibly front-loaded with 51.6 percent of the gross coming from Friday showings (including its $30.25 midnight tally).

The audience was 80 percent female and 60 percent over 21 years old. That’s more female-skewing than Eclipse (65 percent) but even with New Moon (80 percent). Also, the audience was younger for those movies (only 50 percent over 21 years old), though it’s logical for the crowd to age along with the series. Breaking Dawn received a “B+” CinemaScore, which improved to an “A-” among females.

Happy Feet Two debuted to an estimated $22 million, or just over half as much as the $41.5 million that the first Happy Feet opened to on the same weekend in 2006.CinemaScore.

[From Box Office Mojo]

Score one for Summit’s marketing team, which clearly embraced the balls-out absurdity of Stephenie Meyer’s fourth book. From the very first movie still, which featured the tell-tale after effects of Edward Cullen’s pillowbiting frenzy, the entire promotional scheme for this movie highlighted the main question that the Twihards were dying to know — how could anyone possibly translate all of the book’s ridiculous happenings into a watchable, PG-13 movie? Of course, I’ll issue a mild SPOILER ALERT while also suggesting that all interested parties review the film’s theatrical trailer:

See? The trailer embraces the pure camp of the book (and series) by kicking things off with the long-suffering Jacob ripping off his shirt and wolfing out while his poor father heads out after him in the pouring rain. Jacob, of course, was in agony because Bella was marrying Edward, but all fans of the book realize that Jacob later imprints on a baby. Naturally, a lot of people (myself included) were very interested to see how director Bill Condon could possibly interpret that jacked-up moment on film as well as the notorious birth scene. This is not to mention the headboard-crushing moment when an 117-year-old vampire has sex for the very first time, which is also prominently featured within the trailer as well. Brilliant marketing, indeed. So yes, Breaking Dawn Part I achieved a very well-deserved victory this weekend at least from a promotional standpoint.

Also, I kind of love this unintentionally hilarious still of Kellan Lutz carrying the trunk of a redwood tree in manner of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando. You just know that the Lutz is carrying a big hunk of plastic:

Photos courtesy of AllMoviePhoto

As I’m sure you heard, last night was the Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiere in Hollywood. Before I even considered covering Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson’s appearance on the red carpet, I had to make room for the true STARS of the franchise, the two actors who think that they could play the leads better than Robert Pattinson and K-Stew, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz. I love both of them. They’re both delusional.

Ashley wore this red Donna Karan that I really, really dislike on her. It’s not that the dress is matronly – it’s not, really – but I still feel like this isn’t a “young” enough look for such a young woman. I think Ashley is really trying to get a contract with Donna Karan, though. She’s been wearing a lot of DK for the Breaking Dawn promotional tour. I also think Ashley might not get first (or even second) pick of all of the new clothes. Poor Ashley. Also: is her lip color too matchy with her dress? In some photos, it looks good, but in others, she looks like a brunette Barbie.

Is it just me, or does Kellan Lutz looks slightly LESS serial killer-esque with dark hair? Kellan Lutz has gone back and forth on Kellan Lutz’s hair. On one side, Kellan Lutz is a Kellan Lutzy blonde. On the other side, Kellan Lutz likes to mix it up, Kellan Lutz-style. Kellan Lutz also brought his Kellan Lutzy girlfriend to the premiere. Her name is Sharni Vinson, and she has bangs trauma, and she loves the spotlight just as much as Kellan Lutz. KELLAN LUTZ! PS…Kellan Lutz is happy this week because The Immortals was such a smashing success, and that’s all because of KELLAN LUTZ. People came for The Lutz.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

So much Kellan Lutzy goodness, too little Kellan Lutzy time. Kellan Lutz did an especially epic Kellan Lutzy interview with the new issue of The Advocate. Of course, Kellan Lutz takes the opportunity to say nice things to and about Kellan Lutz’s gay fan base. I’m assuming that Kellan Lutz’s Kellan Lutzy gay fanbase is significant, just because Kellan Lutz’s whole persona seems tailor-made for gay culture. I mean that in both a good and bad way – Kellan Lutz is very nice (even lovely) about his gay fanbase, but I’m assuming that the dudes who like him think that he’s at least bi-curious. Kellan Lutz trolls for “Dick” on Craigslist. Kellan Lutz loves to work out and Kellan Lutz seems obsessed with his own body. You can read Kellan Lutz’s Lutzy interview here, and here are some highlights:

On his role as Poseidon in Immortals: “I’ve been playing a pale vampire for years, so I’m just glad to finally have a tan in a movie. I love that our director, Tarsem, saw the gods as youthful. If you were a god, wouldn’t you rather be in your 20s or 30s as opposed to old and gray with a beard down to your ankles?

On his gay fans: “Oh, they’re the best. I love them. When I meet gay fans out and about, they’re so great to talk to — and I’m big on hugging, because I’m from the Midwest. They’re just so energetic and loving. I’m proud to have those fans, and their support means a lot to me. I don’t want just girls coming to my movies; I want guys to come too.”

A story about a male fan that approached Kellan Lutz at a spa while he was naked in a hot tub: “Probably [he was gay], yeah. That’s why I was so flattered. We talked for about 15 minutes, and it clicked that he was probably hitting on me. By no means did I want to lead him on, so it was just kind of funny to me to realize that he was hitting on me — and doing a pretty good job.”

His ignorant youth: “I was really ignorant. Growing up, I could never tell who was gay. Even in high school, I had friends that I didn’t know were gay until years later. I’d find out on Facebook or something and be like, “Oh, that explains some things,” or “Wow, no wonder they were so cool.” I remember going to a buddy’s house right when I came to L.A. He was showing me his place, and I asked, “Where do you sleep?” He’s like, “Here, in this bed.” He had a roommate, so I was like, “Where does your roommate sleep?” He said, “He sleeps here too.” I was like, “Oh, OK.” I’ve slept in the same bed as my brothers, and I’ve crashed on a friend’s bed, so it did not even cross my mind that they were gay. He called me up after I left his house and said, “Kellan, you handled that so well. I haven’t told many people, so thanks for being such a good person.” Suddenly, all this stuff started clicking, and everything made sense: Some guys I thought were just friends aren’t just friends! That’s the day my gaydar finally kicked in. We’re still the best of friends to this day. Now I have some really close friends who are gay.”

He claims he doesn’t like to pap’d shirtless: “[My gay friends] will be like, “Ooh, your arms are looking good, Kellan,” “Ooh, your big chest,” or “Gosh, those eyes.” They hit on me in a friendly way. Anyway, I love a topless run by the beach, and it does suck when paparazzi is there. It’s like, “F–k, do I keep my shirt on because I don’t want to be shirtless in another magazine?” I don’t want to be known as the guy who always takes his shirt off.”

Worrying that his “looks” will upstage his talent: “Well, sure. I think all actors have to be mindful of that. But in the end, it’s a business. It’s great to have the platform to go do independent movies or a fun comedy where I can keep my shirt on, but sometimes sex sells. If me taking my shirt off can get the audience in there, then sure, I don’t mind doing that. But it’s tough, because I don’t just want to be beefcake.”

Trying to keep his clothes on more: “Yeah, I have to be conscious of that too. I’ve done a lot of photo shoots lately for the press coming up with Immortals and Breaking Dawn, and every photographer wants to get the topless shot. We’ve really had to be choosy and not do that for every magazine. I’ve actually been trying to keep my clothes on more.”

He doesn’t Google himself: “I don’t Google myself, but I’ve heard that people think I’m gay. I’ve heard it all. See, I don’t really go after girls. Most of the girlfriends I’ve had have come after me. So it’s really funny when girls get offended because I don’t hit on them. They’ll transform their insecurity into, “Oh, that makes sense, because I heard you’re into guys and have a boyfriend.” I’m like, “Seriously? That’s your tactic to get me to like you?” There will always be rumors, but I know who I am.”

Being Christian and pro-gay: “I was raised in a Christian family, and I’m a Christian, but the only commandment that I really live by is “Love your neighbor as yourself.” It doesn’t matter who a person is or what they’re into, you just show them love. If they’re happy, be happy for them. Be a believer, have faith in something, but no one’s right or wrong. Just be a good person. If we were all just one loving world, stuff would be so much easier.”

On not getting a part in Magic Mike, Steven Soderbergh’s upcoming movie about male strippers: “I actually did call about that. They got Alex Pettyfer for the role I would’ve been right for, and there wasn’t really another role for me in it. But it’s got a great cast, and I think it’s going to be well received. Channing Tatum’s story is amazing, and it’s very ballsy for him to tell it.”

He wants gay roommates: “Honestly, I’d prefer to live with gay guys. They’re the cleanest, and they just take care of stuff. Because I’m always away, coming home to a clean house means a lot to me. Trust me, I’ve lived with a lot of roommates, and straight guys are just kids who don’t pick up after themselves.”

[From The Advocate]

Yeah… Kellan Lutz is a meathead, but Kellan Lutz has some decent things to say. I enjoyed the part about his Christianity, and his confession about his “ignorance” or denseness about his gay friends. Maybe Kellan Lutz is really comfortable with his own heterosexuality, and that’s why he doesn’t mind giving one of the most homoerotic interviews I’ve ever read. If I’m giving Kellan Lutz the benefit of the doubt (why?), I’d say that he probably loves it when people think he’s gay, because at least they’re talking about him.

But Kellan Lutz is also kind of a jag. My favorite example – “They got Alex Pettyfer for the role I would’ve been right for, and there wasn’t really another role for me in it.” Pettyfer got the lead role in an ensemble film that includes Matthew McConaughey, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello and Channing Tatum. Is Kellan trying to convince us that he went in there and was like, “I need to lead role or I’m walking”? Because that would explain why he didn’t manage to even get a supporting part.

Photos courtesy of WENN, header is a still from ‘Immortals’.

Kellan Lutz is sorry this Kellan Lutz cover of Men’s Fitness isn’t big and Kellan Lutz-y enough for you, ladies. Kellan Lutz knows that you would prefer to see Kellan Lutz’s crazy, veiny, roidy arms and chest in a higher quality. Unfortunately, Kellan Lutz’s magnificent Men’s Fitness cover cannot be found in a larger image, in all of it‘s asexual, serial-killer-eyed glory. But don’t be deterred, non-Kellan Lutzes. Because you can see Kellan Lutz in motion for yourselves. Kellan Lutz is epic in this Kellan Lutzy video:

In the Kellan Lutzy interview with Men’s Fitness, Kellan Lutz throws out Kellan Lutzy gems like, “I always wanted to play a Greek god in something” in between describing Kellan Lutz’s Lutzy workout. Kellan Lutz is all about fitness, ladies. No fatties need apply for the position of Kellan Lutz’s girlfriend. Actually, no ladies need apply. Kellan Lutz is all about trolling Craigslist for “Dick”. Kellan Lutz explains his Lutzy workout: “I like to wake up with the sun around 6:30. I’ll just go for a run, drop and do some push-ups, run some more, do lunges, grab the rings, and do pull-ups. I’m an action junkie at heart. I love pushing myself to the limit. I don’t really have fears as far as heights, skydiving, or bungee jumping. I love mixed martial arts, weapons training, guns, knives, driving fast cars, and motorcycles. I love it all.” KELLAN LUTZ IS ALL MAN, bitches. Recognize.

Kellan Lutz wanted me to include some shots from Kellan Lutz’s Nylon Guys cover shoot too. Kellan Lutz has serial killer eyes, and you will like them.

Photos courtesy of Men’s Fitness, Nylon Guys.

Did you know that Kellan Lutz has a new Kellan Lutzy girlfriend? She’s very appropriate for The Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz knows how to pick women for Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz demands beautiful women because Kellan Lutz knows how Kellan Lutz should roll with arm candy. But you non-Kellan Lutzs should know that it doesn’t really matter what Kellan Lutz’s girlfriend’s name is. The only name you need to remember is Kellan Lutz.

Which brings me to Kellan Lutz’s epic, Kellan Lutzy interview with GQ Australia. I don’t even have words for how WRONG Kellan Lutz is. Even Towleroad is calling out Kellan Lutz for the Kellan Lutzy strangeness and the Kellan Lutzy Closet.

The Twilight juggernaut might be reaching its epic climax but the gazillion dollar-grossing film franchise’s other sexy vampire, Kellan Lutz, isn’t about to slow the pace for anyone. And conquering Hollywood is just the start of this ripped Renaissance man’s ambitions…

Someone obviously missed a few classes at celebrity training school. Famous people are supposed to show up 10, 15, even 45 minutes late for a meeting of this sort, but Kellan Lutz is waiting around outside when I arrive 10 minutes early. His two hapless-looking dogs, Kola and Kevin (“I got Kola at the pound when I broke up with my first girlfriend, and Kevin we found on the street.”) are sniffing at their master’s ankles. Oh, and we’re at his house. The famous never let you come to their house.

Lutz, 26, gives the first impression not so much of a movie star or A-list model, even though he appears as the god Poseidon in the sabre-clanking 3-D epic Immortals, and on billboards as big as your apartment building for Calvin Klein’s X underwear line (he also plays a vampire in the moderately successful Twilight film franchise, the final installment of which opens in November).

Rather, at 6’1” and resplendently rippled, Lutz looks like a guy sent from some super-race of humanity to kick your arse. Well, mine specifically. He’s quite affable but his black sleeveless tank top fits so tightly against his sculpted torso, it’s a wonder the material holds. He’s wearing fingerless black lifting gloves. His black mesh shorts flex around thighs that bulge like rotisserie chickens. His calves, under black knee-high tube socks, are bowling pins stuffed into size-12 Nikes.

Celebrities do not typically email in advance, but Lutz had written to ask me to bring workout gear. This was rather amusing since (a) magazine writers are well known to be unsporty, bookish types and (b) it sounded like he was inviting me to actually work out with him.

“Maybe we should check out the beach,” he says, performing a kind of knees-up march-in-place move that one might do before, say, a run. The dogs start sniffing each other and Lutz looks antsy. “I get bored working out inside, so the beach has been my place lately,” he says. “I run, I swim, I play paddleball, basketball, do some mixed martial arts. I like mixing things up.” And clearly it’s working for him. He looks down at me. “You into fitness?”

It’s not that I’m not. It’s just that any mortal man in the presence of a towering powerhouse like Lutz can’t help but feel like a yellow-billed oxpecker on the back of a great hippo. Which is why I’m relieved when Kevin the chihuahua suddenly scampers off to bark at something inside. “That must be Dick,” Lutz says, following Kevin into the house. “Dick’s one of my room-mates.” Lutz isn’t dating anyone at the moment, but still. Room-mates? “I like being around people,” he explains, “so I posted an ad on Craigslist saying I was looking for new blood.” He looks to see if I get the joke. “Dick came by and we liked him, so, yeah, now he’s one of my boys.”

“My boys” is a term Lutz uses a lot, as in, “My boys all want to go to Vegas to watch the Super Bowl with me, so I say, ‘Great. I’ll provide the rooms and whatnot. All you have to do is buy a $400 plane ticket.’ That’s when my boys start moaning, ‘Oh, we have no money.’ But then I’ll catch them spending $200 a night getting drunk with a girl. What’s up with that?”

[From GQ Australia]

First, it’s nice that Kellan Lutz shows up early for appointments. I like that in a person, because I am that kind of person. Second, “He’s wearing fingerless black lifting gloves. His black mesh shorts flex around thighs that bulge like rotisserie chickens. His calves, under black knee-high tube socks, are bowling pins stuffed into size-12 Nikes.” So, basically, Kellan Lutz has little chicken calves. We knew that!

But really, why are we talking about anything other than the “Dick” interlude? Kellan Lutz posts ads on Craigslist looking for new Dick. Basically. Is it weird that International Movie Star, Heartthrob, Male Model Kellan “Kellan Lutz” Lutz goes on Craigslist to get a “roommate”. I wonder what Kellan Lutz’s Kellan Lutzy “girlfriend” thinks about all of this.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

These are just some random photos of the kids from Twilight and Vampire Diaries at the Teen Choice Awards. We wanted to post some more photos without doing individual posts for everyone.

First off we have Twilight’s Nikki Reed in an Etro maxi dress with a Ferragamo clutch. I love her loose hair with the braid around the hairline, her soft makeup and her complimentary accessories, if it’s possible to compliment that dress at all. The gold cuff is awesome. That dress looks like a tablecloth and would be out of place at a dressy Sunday brunch. It’s not a cute look for her. She’s gorgeous and could rock so many different styles so this is a shame.

Next is Nikki’s beady-eyed narcissist co-star, Kellan Lutz, looking like a substitute teacher who will kick your ass after school for looking at him funny. Lutz paired a button down shirt and tie with a cardigan, jeans and jaunty rope bracelets. He hilariously rolled his sleeves halfway up his arms and strategically left the bottom of his cardigan unbuttoned to show off his matching blue belt. Points to Lutzy for bringing his little brother Tanner along with him – and then demonstrating how he treats him at home.

Also from Twilight, Ashley Greene was rather demure in a black and white Givenchy dress with Neil Lane jewelry. I love her thick strappy shoes, which would have looked out of place on a busy print dress or if she were wearing too much jewelry. The dress seems too plain and isn’t particularly flattering, which is a shame because she’s hot. I like her straight hair and her dark but not overdone makeup.

Rounding out the Twilight people (R-Patts didn’t walk the blue carpet and K-Stew didn’t come, boo!) there was Taylor Lautner in an All Saints Replica Leather jacket that looked like someone balled it up wet before letting it dry in the sun. His hair looks kind of goofy to me like that, but maybe he has it in that weird cut for a role.

The Vampire Diaries’ Nina Dobrev was totally adorable in a blue and white gingham Dolce & Gabbana dress with matching blue Ferragamo heels. Her look was one of my favorites.

Nina’s costar and boyfriend, Ian Somerhalder, was gorgeous in a simple gray t-shirt and jeans accessorized with messy hair, scruff, open boots and his trademark smirk. Ian testified before Congress on biodiversity last week if you missed it. I just love him. Ian won for “Choice TV Actor: Fantasy/Sci-Fi.”

Katerina Graham of the Vampire Diaries was overdressed and ridiculous in what I can only assume is Alexander McQueen, but that’s hard to confirm because everyone jacks the late designer’s style. It could be Stella McCartney or anyone really. The dress might have been ok without the pointy Star Trek shoulder pads and the trailing fringe. Katerina won for “Choice TV: Female Scene Stealer.” She consistently gets her style wrong.

And finally we have the very lovely Paul Wesley looking a little too thin for my tastes. He needs to gain 10-15 pounds to regain the hotness. That jean shirt isn’t doing it for me, but I’ll overlook it.

Designer details from Just Jared. Photo credit: WENN.com and Juan Rico/Fame

Don’t ask Kellan Lutz why suddenly everyone wants to talk to Kellan Lutz, about Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz loves to talk about Kellan Lutz, and Kellan Lutz has a lot of Kellan Lutzy thoughts. So whatever reason, Kellan Lutz had two new Kellan Lutz interviews over the weekend. The Kellan Lutz interviews were very Kellan Lutzy, to say the least. The Kellan Lutz interviews were also pretty gross, mostly because Kellan Lutz is a legend in Kellan Lutz’s mind. My favorite part is where Kellan Lutz tries to convince all of us non-Kellan Lutzs that Kellan Lutz wasn’t interested in even reading for or playing Edward Cullen in Twilight – the role that went to Robert Pattinson. Bitch, please, Kellan Lutz. Here are some Kellan Lutzy highlights:

Kellan Lutz on Kellan Lutz’s early education on women: “I would read the [horoscopes] in the back of Cosmo when I was younger to see what girls like, or which girls I should date.”

Kellan Lutz on Kellan Lutz’s superstitions: “I always look at the clock at 11:11. I always make a wish or say a prayer. I believe in stuff like that.”

Kellan Lutz on Kellan Lutz starring in Twilight: “I look back, and you know, I was working as an actor, it was really cool, I was very fortunate. I had just finished up Generation Kill which took me seven months in Africa and a very epic project to work with for HBO and then I got on the ride of Twilight and that took off and it’s like Superman, the ride at Six Flags, where you just shoot and you have no idea what’s going on and it just continuously gets higher and higher and more enjoyable.”

Kellan Lutz on how Kellan Lutz didn’t want the Edward Cullen role in Twilight: “Yeah, I didn’t want to do [Twilight]. I spent so much time filming in Africa, seven months, and that’s a long time to be away from your family and dogs. My agent wanted me to read for Edward and I read the script and thought that character was too depressing for me right now, I want to do something where I smile. I wanted to take a break from acting and I said that, I turned it down, I turned down the audition a couple of times. Ryan, my agent at the time really knew it was going to be a special project so he told me to read the role of Emmett, and I read it, it was only about four lines, but he was the big brother, the comedic relief and I fell in love with him. I said “Sure, I would love to play this type of role”. I auditioned, and long story short, here I am finishing the saga and Emmett is going to be in my heart forever.”

Kellan Lutz on crazy fans: “I love the conventions that take me around the world, especially to the small cities and the small towns. To date it still the most extreme one was the fan that brought handcuffs and wanted to handcuff me and bring me home. I was joking with her and said “Just lock me up and take me home” and she yanks out some handcuffs and security had to step in. Now it is just amazing, I feel like the fans have matured with the books and the movies. It is still vary extreme, but I feel like they are closer to us and that we are more human vs these characters. Now it is just fun hanging out with the fans. It is really fun to just meet them, if we are in the same location just to hang out and talk over lunch, get a drink together, every one is really cool. I’m vary fortunate to have such loving fans.”

Kellan Lutz on the kind of roles Kellan Lutz wants in the future: “A boxing role, a fighting one… [I read the script for] the one that Tom Hardy just did (Warrior) I read that script and fell in love with it. I would love to do He-man, he was a childhood favorite. Yeah! I would love to play a superhero, Marvel or DC anything like that. I am [waiting to be offered a role like that], I would have loved to do Captain America. I think Chris Evans was an amazing choice for it, and I can’t wait to see the movie. I would love to be someone that I grew up loving. Flash, Aquaman, Johnny Quest I loved. You know, I would love to play a Ninja Turtle or something like that, Michelangelo.”

Kellan Lutz on who Kellan Lutz would like to work with: “Robert Redford, big time. I just think he’s a stud. Scorsese would be amazing! I’d love to do something with Leo [DiCaprio] and him. I’ve also wanted to play like a brother role to Matt Damon or Leo or something along those lines. I think it would be really fun and trivial. Bruce Willis would also be fun, I would love to be a part of the Die Hard movies.”

[From Just Jared & People]

Kellan Lutz really thinks that Kellan Lutz is, like, at The Ryan Gosling level of stardom, right? Kellan Lutz thinks that Marty Scorsese will be calling Kellan Lutz at any moment. Kellan Lutz thinks that he’s the brightest of all of the established bright young things in Hollywood. Kellan Lutz is so utterly delusional. That Just Jared interview is worth reading in its entirety, just because Kellan Lutz tries to answer the questions like Kellan Lutz is the biggest thing and Kellan Lutz has to force himself to remember how to be humble, but throughout it all, you can tell that Kellan Lutz rarely gets a call-back. Kellan Lutz gets to read the scripts, sure, but Kellan Lutz never lands the role. Kellan Lutz is kind of sad.

I just want to point out the absurdity of the Twilight part of the discussion: “My agent wanted me to read for Edward and I read the script and thought that character was too depressing for me right now, I want to do something where I smile…. I turned down the audition a couple of times. Ryan… told me to read the role of Emmett, and I read it, it was only about four lines, but he was the big brother, the comedic relief and I fell in love with him. I said “Sure, I would love to play this type of role”. I auditioned, and long story short, here I am finishing the saga and Emmett is going to be in my heart forever.” How crazy is Kellan Lutz? Kellan Lutz goes on and on about how Kellan Lutz didn’t even WANT to read for Edward, because Kellan Lutz just felt like playing a character who smiled??! BITCH PLEASE.

Photos courtesy of PCN & Fame.

Kellan Lutz is so excited! Kellan Lutz is turned on right now, thinking about you thinking about Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz has the pleasure of presenting Kellan Lutz’s new ad campaign for Dylan George’s Abbot + Main “diffusion line”. Kellan Lutz co-designed these Kellan Lutzy jeans!!! Kellan Lutz knows that men AND ladies want an ass like Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz knows you are looking at Kellan Lutz’s crotch in these beautiful jeans. Kellan Lutz says you are welcome.

So this is the ad campaign, in which Kellan Lutz had to dye Kellan Lutz’s naturally light hair to something darker and more “chocolate Kellan Lutz”. Kellan Lutz also requested that the Photoshop team try and tone down Kellan Lutz’s magnificent body, lest Kellan Lutz get a reputation as a Kellan Lutz-y showoff who spend too much time working on Kellan Lutz’s pecs. Kellan Lutz also asked the Photoshop team to tone down the “serial killer glare” in Kellan Lutz’s eyes. Kellan Lutz wants to romance the ladies with his awesome hard body, and eventually Kellan Lutz will cuddle those ladies against Kellan Lutz‘s awesome washboard stomach and Kellan Lutz‘s broad chest. Kellan Lutz does not want to look like the kind of Kellan Lutz who would throw a Rohypnol in a lady’s drink so Kellan Lutz can carve them up in peace and quiet. Just FYI, ladies. Kellan Lutz is single! And these Kellan Lutzy ads are all Kellan Lutz needs to get laid.

Here’s Kellan Lutz on all of the Kellan Lutzy ads:

Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz wanted to point his toe like a ballerina in this shot. The photographer told Kellan Lutz to stop it.”

Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz knows you like the Kellan Lutz crotch shot.”

Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz can pop Kellan Lutz’s hip better than Anne V. Any. Day. Of. The. Week.”

Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz is so sexy when you can’t see Kellan Lutz’s serial killer glare.”

Kellan Lutz: “Deep thoughts by Kellan Lutz.”

Kellan Lutz: “Kellan Lutz tweaked Kellan Lutz’s man-nipples for this shot. Kellan Lutz knows you noticed.”

Kellan Lutz: “In this shot, Kellan Lutz was drooling a little bit because Kellan Lutz was thinking about how this ad campaign will simply add to Kellan Lutz’s enormous fame.”

Kellan Lutz is single. Kellan Lutz is on the prowl. Kellan Lutz knows that every lady wants a piece of Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz would be happy to oblige, in his Kellan Lutz-y way, because every single non-Kellan Lutz person out there deserves a piece of The Kellan Lutz. But Kellan Lutz frets that Kellan Lutz is not enough Man to satisfy every lady. So in the rare case that Kellan Lutz isn’t up for giving a lady a piece of Kellan Lutz, Kellan Lutz will pose for a photo with a non-Kellan Lutz. This is what Kellan Lutz offered to a group of ladies at a restaurant in New York. Kellan Lutz was all, “Hi, I’m Kellan Lutz, you ladies look you could use some Kellan Lutz in your lives.” And the ladies were like “OMG, Kellan Lutz, you’re so Kellan Lutz-y!” And then tragedy struck:

Kellan Lutz and five friends asked to move their table at CO-OP at The Hotel on Rivington nearer to a gaggle of gorgeous women Wednesday night. The raucous females were drinking champagne and eating oysters when newly single “Twilight” star Lutz leaned in to chat them up.

A spy said that when they asked for a photo, Lutz was happy to oblige — but was stunned to learn the women actually just wanted him to take a photo of their group, but not with him. Lutz’s rep said, “None of this is true.”

[From Page Six]

Kellan Lutz is sad to find out that non-Kellan Lutzs do not want Kellan Lutz in their photos. Kellan Lutz was preparing Kellan Lutz’s finest serial killer smile and eye twinkle, because Kellan Lutz KNOWS how to pose for a photo, thank you. But then Kellan Lutz was sad to realize that these drunk ladies didn’t even want Kellan Lutz’s photo. This makes Kellan Lutz sad. Kellan Lutz called Kellan Lutz’s rep and ordered him to deny this terrible Kellan Lutz story. And then Kellan Lutz went home and cried Kellan Lutz-y tears.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.