You would think that with lips as heavy as hers, Lisa Rinna would have a hard time talking. Or if nothing else, it would take long enough to lift them that she’d have a chance to consider what she was about to say. Given all that, nothing less than Shakespeare should come out of her mouth. Unfortunately that’s not the case, and epically stupid things spew forth from her hot dog lips.

Lisa thinks her entire family had swine flu in April before the rest of the country had heard about it. And they’re fine. I think the implication being “don’t worry about it.”

“I believe we all, except for myself, had the swine flu at our house. How do you know it’s the swine flu? I don’t know but we had all the symptoms. We had it before it came out. I’m serious. I’m dead serious. We had it at our house, I believe, and everyone is fine.”

[From Entertainment Tonight]

Dlisted pointed out that this makes it seem like we can probably blame Lisa Rinna and her family for bringing swine flu to the U.S. You know, if we wanted to skew things that way. And I feel that – if we need someone to blame – Lisa Rinna is as good as anyone. Maybe better. Doesn’t Harry Hamlin look like he’d harbor swine flu? And his last name is Hamlin. Ham-lin. That cannot be a coincidence. *Snort.*

Several commenters on Dlisted’s site have mentioned they had short bad flues in April and are now wondering if they had swine flu. Considering most people get over it on their own, it’s very possible that some people caught it without realizing that’s what it was. Generally speaking, flu season ends in March, though of course this isn’t set in stone. It’s not completely, totally impossible that Lisa Rinna is right, though I still think she should shut her Restylane.

Here’s Lisa and Harry at Los Angeles Confidential magazine’s May/June issue party last night. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Lisa Rinna has absolutely zero shame. The woman wore a sandwich board reading “Honk if you want to see me on the new Melrose Place!” in the middle of downtown L.A. She acted like a complete freak on “Dancing with the Stars,” and has a tendency to overshare way too many details about her marriage to Harry Hamlin. She’s already posed for Playboy once, when she was pregnant, and now she wants to do it again. Because we just haven’t seen and heard enough of her yet.

Lisa Rinna didn’t think twice about posing in Playboy at her age.

“I’m 45 years old. I look good right now. Why not?” she tells Extra. “Why not celebrate the beauty of the female body?”

Rinna says she’s happiest in the buff.

“I never feel more comfortable than when I am naked taking pictures,” she says. “I don’t know what that’s about. It’s the craziest thing.”

Husband Harry Hamlin doesn’t mind, either.

“They’re awesome,” Hamlin said after checking out the photos. “They’re amazing. I mean, look at who the subject was!”

Check out pictures of stars working out.

Rinna says she works out “a lot” to maintain her bod.

“Doing Dancing with the Stars changed my body and I never let it go back. I got that body and was like, ‘I like this. I’m going to keep it,’” she says. “And I did….So six days a week. I run and walk, dance. I do Pilates…I spin.”

[From Us Weekly]

Anyone who thinks Lisa is doing this as some sort of empowerment statement for women over 40 should also keep in mind that she has so much artificial material in her body, she could probably play the next Terminator. If her face got too close to heat it would melt right off, like those Nazis in “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” No, this isn’t about celebrating the female body – it’s about Lisa trying to grab some more attention. And since her acting sucks, she has to show off her boobs and six pack abs to get it. Shouldn’t a 45-year-old mom be past all that?

Here’s Lisa and husband Harry Hamlin at Tori Spelling’s book release in Los Angeles on Monday. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Of all the former cast members that could sign on for the “Melrose Place” remake, people seemed most excited about the possibility of Heather Locklear reprising her infamous role as super bitchy Amanda Woodward. However she ultimately passed on the project, leaving everyone wondering why. It’s not like her career is really blossoming right now – her last role was in “Flirting with Forty,” a made-for-TV-movie. You’d think she’d be chomping at the bit for a reoccurring role on a show that’s already getting so much attention, but apparently that’s not the case.

So what made Locklear pass? $100,000. Or rather, the lack of it.

Rumor has it Heather Locklear demanded too much moolah to land her a spot on the updated “Melrose Place,” but is it true?

Ka-ching! According to a report, Locklear wanted $100,000 per episode to reprise her role as bad girl Amanda Woodward, but the network wouldn’t pay her even half the dough she requested! Melrose Place does not intersect with Easy Street!

[From Extra]

The National Enquirer says that former co-star Lisa Rinna has been absolutely begging Heather to sign on to the show. Lisa’s desperate to be cast, and even went so far as to wear a sandwich board on Robertson Blvd in Los Angeles. It read, “HONK FOR LISA RINNA ON THE NEW MELROSE PLACE!” It got her some attention, but she still hasn’t been offered a spot on the show.

“Lisa thinks if Heather takes the part it will open the door for other former cast members,” a source says.

But as The Enquirer has reported, Heather turned down a deal to reprise her role as ad agency head Amanda Woodward. She expected a paycheck of at least $100,000 per episode and was disappointed with her proposed story lines, sources say.

“Lisa has phoned Heather at least a dozen times, trying to persuade her to overlook the salary and story line issues,” the source says.

“She keeps reminding Heather about all the good times the old cast had, and she’s trying to convince Heather it will be a great career move for her.

“But Heather vows she won’t budge unless the show’s execs meet her demands.

[From the National Enquirer, April 13, 2009, print ed.]

I’m sort of surprised Heather Locklear feels she can be so picky. It’s not as though the offers are rolling in, as far as I can tell. Or maybe they are, and she has been picky, and that’s why she’s only doing a few projects here and there.

It’s too bad Heather passed, because I think she’s really the only way the show will be successful. But to be fair, Lisa Rinna was asking her to overlook a lot. Money and bad plot lines? However Locklear would have gotten a lot of press for it, and Rinna was right – it would have helped Heather’s career. Something tells me there’s another TV movie in her near future.

Here’s Heather filming “Flirting with 40″ in Hawaii on May 1st. Images thanks to PR Photos.com.

Lisa Rinna needs a job. I mean REALLY needs one. She’s so desperate that she’s resorted to wearing a sandwich board to get one. Lisa and her lips were out on Melrose Avenue yesterday wearing a sign that said, “HONK FOR LISA RINNA ON THE NEW MELROSE PLACE!” She was joined by Ross “The Intern” Matthews, who at least had the dignity to hold his “HONK IF YOU HEART LISA” and “VOTE FOR HER” signs instead of wearing it lunchtime style.

I had an idea that Lisa Rinna wanted to be on The CW’s “Melrose Place” reboot. After all, she told PopWrap back in January, “I’d be the first to do it [the 'Melrose Place' reboot], but they always want the people who don’t want to do it! I’m like, ‘I’ll do it! I’ll do it! Please call me!’”

But Lisa took stumping to new levels today as she stood at the nexus of the universe — more specifically, the corners of Melrose Avenue and Melrose Place — waving signs that said, “Honk for Lisa Rinna on the new ‘Melrose Place!’”

Fans — and photogs — came out in full force, so if the “Melrose Place” producers didn’t know Lisa was interested before, they certainly do now!

[From the New York Post’s PopWrap blog]

Well, it’s a tough economy. I like to give Lisa a lot of shit for her lips (they make me angry), but I don’t really feel I can criticize anyone for being proactive. It’s cheesy as heck, but I have to admit I appreciate her plucky spirit.

In other “Melrose Place” news, Heather Locklear will not be joining the new cast.

One person who won’t be moving back into Melrose Place? Heather Locklear. The actress — who played the key role of Amanda Woodward on the original series — has turned down an offer to join the cast of the CW’s update of the hit Fox serial, EW has learned. “There wasn’t a way to bring her back that made sense,” says a source close to the situation. While the network and studio won’t comment, her reps do confirm that Locklear has passed. It’s no secret that the CW was aggressively pursuing Locklear and will likely want to secure another star from the original show. The reboot, which is slated for the fall, has already cast Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Jessica Lucas, Michael Rady, and Katie Cassidy.

[From Entertainment Weekly]

I’m starting to slightly root for Lisa Rinna. All the other old “Melrose” stars are passing – yet she desperately wants to be on the show. It’s sort of nice that she’s not too big for her britches. I say bring her back, what could it hurt? Sure, they’ll have to get a wide-angle lens for her lips, but that can be done easily enough.

Images thanks to WENN.com.

Lisa Rinna is easily one of my most hated celebrities. For all I know she is the nicest person on the planet, but I am completely incapable of hearing anything she says on TV because I cannot get past her lips. I don’t know how she even manages to keep her head upright. The balance of weight is all off. Her head should constantly be falling forward like an old ragdoll.

Ironically, even though Rinna’s had almost as much plastic surgery as Jocelyn Wildenstein, she had the audacity to yak on and on to People magazine about how she encourages everyone to embrace their natural bodies and be proud of them. Great advice – unless you’ve had so much obvious surgery that doctors now go at you with a hacksaw instead of a scalpel.

Lisa Rinna is most comfortable in the nude, which may explain why the 45-year-old doesn’t understand why there is so much stigma attached to not having a perfect body.

“While I’m definitely a product of this mindset, I don’t get all the fuss our society has over people’s weight,” actress Lisa Rinna told PEOPLE Tuesday night during Kate Somerville’s skin care launch at the Four Seasons Resort in Palm Beach. “I am more comfortable being nude than hosting an event like this.”

Added Rinna, who is set to pose nude on the cover of Playboy’s May issue: “It is best to be moderate. I focus on fitness, eat healthy, and am lucky that I am not anorexic and my weight stays the same.”

In fact, the actress believes she looks better now than she did at 34 when she posed for Playboy while pregnant.

“I want to encourage other women to be proud of their bodies no matter what age or size,” said Rinna, looking toned in a short floral, bejeweled Bluemarine dress.

[From People]

I’m sure Rinna does have a good body, but I find it doubtful that she accepted it just as it was. It’s unlikely that someone who’s had so much obvious surgery up top hasn’t had work done below the neckline too. I cannot understand how Lisa can possibly think her lips look good. They’re such a ridiculous distraction. It seems like she must have had something permanent done, because otherwise, why would she keep getting a temporary filler over and over again when she looks so terrible? Well, that’s the logical thought. I get the feeling Lisa probably thinks she looks amazing, face included. I’m pretty sure her lips have their own gravitational pull. If you get within four feet of her, there’s a decent chance you’ll get sucked in.

You should accept your body at any age and any size. That’s great advice. You also should accept your natural lips, even if they don’t look like two hotdogs parting ways.

Here’s Lisa and her lips at the Grammys on February 2nd. Images thanks to WENN.com.

Lisa Rinna, 45, is trying to hold on her waning career by posing for Playboy again and starring in a reality series.

It seems these days there’s nothing women in their 40s can’t do – Lisa Rinna, a mother of two who is well-known to fans for playing Billie on Days of Our Lives in the past and for competing on Dancing With the Stars, was rumored to be considering a steamy photo session for Playboy. And now the 45-year-old has (basically) confirmed it’s true!

When asked by Extra if she was planning on stripping down for the gentleman’s mag, she coyly replied, “I’m the worst liar on the planet, I can’t lie, so… I think that could be a yes.”

OK! Magazine

In recent years, Lisa Rinna has appeared in Dancing with the Stars, hosted a makeover show, and is currently developing a reality show. The show is going to be based on her life with actor Harry Hamlin and children Delilah born in 1998 and Amelia born in 2001. She is most famous for roles in Melrose Place and Days of our Lives.

The last time Lisa posed for Playboy was when she was six months pregnant with Delilah. Elizabeth Wurtzel suggested in her book Bitch that posing for Playboy was a career move. Perhaps Lisa is doing it to prove she’s hot enough for the new Melrose Place.

The nude photographs – as likely to appear in Vanity Fair as elsewhere, especially if the subject is pregnant – are a career move, not a way to cash in, and it says: I’ve got it, and godammit, I’m gonna flaunt it, because any one can think I’m a bimbo, but not just anyone can look this naked.

[From Bitch, print edition]

Actually, anyone can look that good naked, given the right lighting, make up, cosmetic surgery and post-production digital enhancement, even at 45. Lisa Rinna, do something truly empowering, show us what an almost real 45 year old looks like naked. Turn down the superficial tampering of your body and do a Playboy spread. Then we’d be impressed.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Here’s Rinna at the beach in Malibu on 6/28/08. She is seen with her husband, Harry Hamlin, and their daughters Delilah Belle, 10, and Amelia Gray, 7. She doesn’t look like she needs much airbrushing to me. Credit: Fame Pictures

I can’t think of any celeb couples that are more ick worthy than Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin. Luckily the pair get relatively little coverage, so I don’t have to think about how much I despise them. I’m fairly certain I prefer Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt… actually it’s too close to call. But the Botox on this pair is absolutely indescribable, and I think their doctors are breaking some kind of laws with the amount of Botulinum they’re injecting into the pair. And don’t get me started on Rinna’s upper lip.

Unfortunately the chemically and plastically enhanced couple are going to be able to afford a lot of fancy new injections in the coming years – they’ve been given their own reality show.

Celebrity couple Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin are ready to expose their lives to the cameras in an unscripted project for TV Land.

The network has ordered a pilot presentation of a project that would follow the lives of the husband-and-wife duo along with their two daughters.

The project is executive produced by Jason Carbone.

“Ever since I started here (in May 2006), I’ve been out in the marketplace looking for a celebrity couple with dynamic stories to tell, and when I met Lisa and Harry, it made sense,” said Keith Cox, TV Land’s executive vp development and original programming.

Should TV Land go forward with the project, said to have generated interest from a few cable networks, it will go straight to a half-hour series pickup targeted for a 2009 debut, Cox said.

[From the Hollywood Reporter]

Maybe it’s because I’ve never been able to get past their faces, but do Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin actually have personalities? I thought they were nothing more than needles and syringes. I know whenever I’ve seen either of them interviewed, they’ve come off as incredibly annoying. And Rinna’s been rocking those messed up lips for years without stopping – or even apologizing. And when you choose to make your face look like that, you really should say you’re sorry.

I can’t imagine that their show will be any good, though it might be semi-interesting in the train wreck sense. And if nothing else, both Harry and Lisa are good for making the rest of us feel better about our own faces. Nonetheless, I give it six episodes, max.

Here’s Harry and Lisa at the celebration of Los Angeles Confidential Magazine’s Men’s Issue at Craft on October 29th. Images thanks to WENN.

Lisa Rinna, 45, works hard to maintain her fabulous body and she also gets some professional assistance with her face. Known for her overly-inflated duck lips, Rinna admits that she’s used Juvéderm, a facial filler, and said that she went a little too far with it and will have to watch it in the future. She says she’ll still keep seeing her dermatologist, she’ll just have to be more conservative with the treatments she uses:

Lisa Rinna is opening the lid on a big Hollywood secret by confessing that she had too much of the filler Juvéderm injected into her face. “We all know everyone does it!” Lisa, 45, tells In Touch. “We go on Jenny Craig and do all these things to change ourselves, so why can’t we get a little filler?” But while a little is one thing, Lisa admits she recently overdid it. “I saw a picture of myself and thought, ‘Uh-oh,’” admits Lisa, after getting too much Juvéderm. “You have to be careful. I’m a perfect example of that!” “There are many things you can do to make yourself look better,” says Lisa, whose fitness DVDs Lisa Rinna: Dance Body Beautiful are out in December.

In Touch: So what made you decide to get filler?

Lisa: At my age, you have to look good if you want to continue working. Sometimes we do things to help, and I did. I had tried Botox, and then fillers came into the plastic surgery world, and you think, “That’s not a bad idea.”

In Touch: What was your reaction when you saw yourself?

Lisa: I thought I looked great. It was a little bit more than normal, but you think it’ll go down, so I wasn’t scared. But two days ago, I saw a photo of myself at a party and went, “Oh, jeez. I have too much filler.”

In Touch: Is there anything you can do about it?

Lisa: I see that it’s too much, so I’m going to lay off. I don’t want to look weird! It’ll go down in three months. And of course I’ll stick with my doctor here in LA. I’ve seen him for years and he knows me best.

[From In Touch via Huffington Post]

Good for Rinna for admitting to too many injections, but could she also own up to her lips? She’s had them for years so maybe she’s just accustomed to them and doesn’t really notice how much they jut out and take over the lower half of her face. It also might not be reversible for her at this point if she had implants put in her lips or used a permanent type of injection.

Lisa Rinna is shown at the Women In Film Annual Forum in LA on 11/2/08. Credit: WENN/Fayes Vision

Now the fact that I take dance classes with Lisa Rinna will have no effect on this posting… unless she reads it and tells Louis Van Amstel to ’86′ my ass from class!

Harry Hamlin has always been a personal favorite of mine. I mean Clash of the Titans is an all time favorite and only because not just because he was in a loin cloth for the entire film. What I am thankful for about Mr. Hamlin, is even though he has been moving into voice-over work since being voted off Season 3 of Dancing with the Stars, he hasn’t gone the way of Jack Nicholson and THAT man’s shirtless body. I mean I get it: Harry Hamlin is 56 freakin’ years old. He must be so sick of hardcore working out (yes, Mario Lopez I’m talking to you. One day you too will get sick of working out unless you become like Jack LaLanne which is a horrifying thought in itself.), so at least we can see where everything is supposed to go on Harry, which gently reminds us of how sexy Harry is and was back in 1987 when he was named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.

Now Liam Neeson, 56, here at “Club 55” (ironic) beach in Saint Tropez is another story.

Now I love me some Liam Neeson. High Spirits is like the best movie ever! (Oh and Schindler’s List too!) But I think here is a lovely example that it’s time to stop taking your shirt off my good Irishman. We’ve seen it already in The Big Man, The Good Mother, Husbands and Wives, Leap of Faith and frankly we saw all of it in Kinsey. In the words of Diana Summer and Barbra Streisand: Enough is Enough!

Talk about putting the HUGE in Hugh Jackman, NOW we’re talking! Can you believe he’ll be 40 this October! I’m sure this is still the body he had from the filming of 2009′s X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but being on the beaches of St. Tropez (with his adopted son Oscar Maximillian) with that body, could change this gay boy from saying ‘Oui-Oui’ in the south of France to having his wee-wee go north in the south of his pants… if you know what I mean.

More pictures from those backwards-etiquette Oscar parties. These are from The Weinstein Company pre-Oscar Party in LA on 3/4.

Six more including Josh Hartnett, George Clooney and Sienna Miller after the jump. [via]

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