This story in the upcoming issue of Star Magazine is really quite sad. I don’t feel sorry for Vanessa Minnillo’s mom at all given the circumstances, but it just is sad the way it all turned out. Someone at Star caught up with Vanessa’s mother, who is 57 and living in a trailer park in South Carolina. Vanessa’s mom Helen hasn’t spoken to her daughter in 12 years, since Vanessa was 18. Helen hasn’t seen Vanessa since she was 9, when she dropped Vanessa and her little brother off at their dad’s house for what was supposed to be a short time and never came back. I guess we know why Vanessa doesn’t speak to her mom and didn’t invite her to the wedding.

Helen Bondoc had no idea that her gorgeous 30-year-old daughter was even getting married. And when Star spoke with her exclusively at her South Carolina mobile home 12 days after Vanessa and Nick’s July 15 wedding in the British Virgin Islands, Helen struggled with her emotions.

“Oh my goodness, she’s beautiful!” Helen, 57, told Star as she grew misty-eyed while looking at photos of Vanessa and Nick on their St. Barts honeymoon.

“She’s changed so much, though I can still see that little scar on her forehead from where she picked at her chicken pox when she was a child.

“I didn’t have a clue that Vanessa was getting married. We last spoke about 12 years ago, on the phone. I just wanted to talk to her and tell her everything straight about my life. But I still think about her all the time, and I still love her dearly…”

Helen and the kids followed her husband to Turkey when he was assigned there, but they were sent back to the U.S. in 1991 after the Gulf War broke out.

Helen’s second marriage ended soon after — and so did her relationship with Vanessa after she dropped her and her brother off at their father’s house in Charleston, S.C.

“[Helen] said, ‘Keep them for now,’ ” Vincent recalls. “But she never came back.”

Vanessa has admitted that she became “sad, confused and emotional” about being abandoned by her mom but otherwise has remained tightlipped about why they’ve never ended their estrangement.

As for Helen, she tells Star: “It would be nice to have a relationship with her now, but I don’t know how she’d feel if I called her.”

And if Vanessa and Nick had kids? “It would be a happy occasion to meet my grandchildren. Whatever she’s doing today, I hope she’s happy with this man and that he treats her well. She’s still my little girl.”

[From Radar Online]

That’s terrible! Who could do that to their kids? Vanessa’s mom also claimed to have been a “hostess” and a “waitress” at two different strip clubs so I think it’s safe to assume she worked as a stripper. I don’t blame Vanessa for not talking to her mom. It just makes my heart hurt to think of someone abandoning their kids like that, but I guess it happens all the time.

E! ran a story a couple of days ago with some pretty classy quotes from Vanessa on what she thought about the fact that her new husband’s ex wife was also getting married. She used a common expression “the elephant in the room” and E! ran it with a headline that Vanessa was calling Jessica Simpson an elephant. It wasn’t accurate by a long shot, but it was funny. Vanessa said “To address the elephant in the room, yes, you know coincidentally at the same time that our wedding is going on, his ex is actually also doing the beautiful thing of getting married herself. I think she would probably pray, as much as I do, that they allow us to have our own moments.”

It’s like Vanessa wanted to say she’d cut a bitch if she stole her wedding thunder but she restrained herself and made it about the press potentially doing that, not the ex.

Access Hollywood has a new interview with Nick where he again asserts that no reality show will be coming to follow-up on his wedding special. Meanwhile Nick told E! that he’d love to have kids and was “doing everything I can.” I really like the guy and wish the best for him and Vanessa. I doubt that Vanessa’s mom is going to be playing the doting grandmother when and if these two have kids though.

Photos are from 7/25/11 (airport, credit: Fame), 6/17/11 (Bachelorette part, credit: WENN) and 4/9/11 (drunk, credit: WENN)

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of Jessica Simpson guzzling a box of wine, followed by a bottle of Scotch, followed by ten vodka shots. In other words, “Friday”. No! Poor Jessica. Today is the day that her ex-husband got remarried to the little tartlet that was only supposed to be his rebound girl, Vanessa Minnillo. That other sound you hear? That’s the sound of Vanessa rolling on a bed of money from Nick’s divorce settlement from Jessica. Vanessa got the last laugh!

Talk about a day in paradise. Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey were married Friday evening in a tropical island ceremony in front of just 35 friends and family, their reps confirm exclusively to PEOPLE.

“For us, this is just a stepping stone to do what we ultimately want and that’s to start a family together,” Minnillo tells PEOPLE.

The pair, who became engaged in November, flew their wedding guests to the secret location as a surprise.

“Nobody knew where they were going,” says Minnillo, 30.

Adds Lachey, “Our wedding invitations were in the form of a plane ticket. We told them they were going away and the attire was ‘island chic.’ It was all very vague.”

Minnillo, the new host of Wipeout, donned a two-piece Monique Lhuillier ensemble featuring an intricately embellished lace corset with rose and crystal detail, paired with a signature hand tufted skirt made of silk faille.

The look was completed with a tailored bow belt at her waist and chapel length tulle veil.

Lachey, 37, who hosts The Sing-Off, sported a Dolce & Gabanna suit.

Their wedding will be televised on a TLC’s special called Nick & Vanessa’s Dream Wedding premiering on July 30 from 9-11pm ET/PT.

[From People]

Okay, does anyone else think her dress sounds WAY too frou-frou? Two piece Lhuillier, lace corset (with crystal details) and a hand-tufted skirt? Too much. Especially for a beachy wedding. I mean, every bride should make her own choices, etc, and I’ll definitely have to see photos of the gown for myself, but it sounds more like a prom dress for a 16-year-old than a wedding gown.

In any case, congratulations to the happy couple! They’re been together for so long, I think they’ve probably worked out all of the kinks in their relationship, and I hope they will be very happy. Babies soon, I’m thinking.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

OK! Magazine has a new piece about all the problems Jessica Simpson is supposedly facing ahead of her wedding, which is rumored to be taking place this fall. The article focuses on whatever competition she may be feeling as her ex, Nick Lachey, marries his longterm girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo this summer. I would say that’s overblown, but remember that Jessica announced her engagement to Eric Johnson just a few days after Nick and Vanessa did. Nick couldn’t give a crap, though. It’s not a race for him. So I think Nick’s upcoming wedding may bother Jessica, but maybe not to the extent the gossip press would have us believe. She’s probably wanted to remarry for ages and the fact that it coincides with Nick’s wedding this year is just earning her more publicity.

Anyway some of OK!’s story sounds fake to me. They claim that Jessica wanted to have her wedding on July 2 but found out that Nick’s bachelor party was then so they rescheduled. We’ve heard that she’s having it on 11/11/11 for superstitious reasons so that doesn’t seem likely that it would happen this summer. I’m not above repeating this though of course.

They couldn’t agree on a venue
“Jessica had her heart set on a tropical destination,” a longtime pal tells OK! “She was pushing for Turtle Island resort in Fiji.” But that’s where she went on her first honeymoon with Nick. “Eric felt like it was a bad omen,” says the pal. That upset Jess. “She said she didn’t want to go through with the wedding if it was going to start all these fights,” adds the source.

She’s losing the weight war
Although Jessica thinks she’s good the way she is, weight is still a sore point. “She gets irritated that if you google her name, all that comes up is ‘Jessica is fatter than Vanessa [Minnillo],” says the source… “She feels like it’ll haunt her forever, so she’s insecure about it.”

She didn’t want to compete with Nick’s party
Jess and Eric were set to wed July 2 – the same day as Nick’s bachelor party at Tao in Las Vegas. “She doesn’t like competing with Nick. She didn’t want to walk down the aisle when Nick and Vanessa were doing something wedding related… She wanted her special day to be hers.”

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, July 18, 2011]

OK! also claims that Jessica’s sister Ashlee’s split with her husband has Jessica “rattled,” and that Ashlee is “urging Jess to take things as slow as possible.”

Meanwhile Nick is moving forward with plans to marry Vanessa on an unspecified date. They’re going to have a wedding special on TLC but he told the press over the weekend that it will be a one-off special. Nick claims that they won’t be getting a reality show like the one that skyrocketed him to fame with Jessica. He said “I would never want to put ourselves through a reality show again. This is a different process: There’s a beginning, an end, and then it’s over, it’s done.” At first I really thought he was talking about his first marriage to Jessica.

Some photos are from Jessica’s appearance on Oprah in May. They’re screenshots from this video. Jessica and Eric are shown out on 6/3/11. Credit: Fame

I will admit to having a passing interest in Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo. I think they’re a sweet couple. I would watch their wedding and probably get a little teary over it since I’m a stupid sucker for weddings despite the fact that I’m more than aware of the reality of marriage. We’ve heard for some time that Nick and Vanessa were hoping to get a reality show so they’d be able to afford all those vacations they’re constantly going on. Now comes news that their wedding will be shown on TLC. This could be the start of a show for them, and they can piss away their relationship the same way Nick did with Jessica, not that those two were ever going to last anyway.

TLC will air “Nick & Vanessa’s Dream Wedding” (working title), a special to air just weeks after the couple’s wedding date, which they are keeping top secret.

Lachey, 37, and Vanessa Minnillo, 30, have been dating since 2006 and got engaged last fall. He and ex-wife Jessica Simpson documented their own wedding and early married life on MTV’s Newlyweds.

“We’re lucky to have such passionate and loving fans, and we thought partnering with TLC on this special would be the best way to share the exciting journey we’re on with all the people that support us and our relationship,” Lachey and Minnillo said in a statement.

The special will feature footage from their joint wedding shower, Minnillo’s wedding dress search and the ceremony itself.

[From People]

I could have sworn Minnillo was like 35, not 30. This wedding special is probably a kind of pilot to see if Nick and Vanessa rate their own full show. It’s TLC, they air sh*t like “Strange Sex” and “My Strange Addiction,” they’re not choosy. “Kate Plus 8″ is probably going to be put out to pasture soon so they’ll have a reality show vacancy to fill. I really thought Nick learned his lesson and wasn’t going to go that route again after the trainwreck that was his last marriage, though. After Jessica left him, he told Rolling Stone that being on “Newlyweds” really messed up their relationship. He said “Jessica and I began playing these parts even when we were by ourselves… There was a question about what truly was our reality. When you are on a reality show, your life ceases to be reality. It becomes TV.” I guess when your career isn’t really going anywhere you might not have the choice not to turn your next relationship into a reality show too.

You have to feel a little bad for Nick Lachey: he finally gets engaged and all anyone wants to know is how he feels about Jessica Simpson.

To add insult to injury, he has to pretend to be his own personal assistant, according to In Touch Weekly.

The Sing-Off host Nick Lachey has found his future wife, but he’s still missing another kind of partner — a personal assistant! However, the singer, who proposed to longtime girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo, 30, in November, still seems to want to keep up the appearance that he has his own staff.

“We get calls from Nick Lachey’s ‘assistant,’ who sounds very much like Nick himself,” a business associate of the star, 37, tells In Touch. “Funny how he and this assistant have the same exact voice!”

[In Touch, print edition, January 10, 2011]

Maybe he’s just trying to save money for his upcoming wedding. Nick hinted that he and Vanessa may wed on New Year’s in Tuscany. Hopefully he won’t have to pretend to be his own best man.

Photos are from August, November and May, 2010. Credit: WENN.com and Fame

As we all know, Jessica Simpson being the dumb bunny that she is, rushed through a haphazard and poorly planned engagement announcement just days after her ex-husband Nick Lachey announced his engagement to long-time girlfriend Vanessa WhatsIt. It was Farty McObvious’s sad attempt to engagement-block her ex, and it blew up in her face because just days after Farty’s announcement, Kate Middleton and Prince William announced their engagement, and now no one cares about Jessica. Anyway, Jessica’s official story is that she and Eric Johnson got engaged on 11/11/2010. And many of the tabloids claim that because of complicated numerology reasoning, Jessica will marry Eric on 1/1/11. New Year’s Day. I kind of believe this theory – I think Jess will get married sooner rather than later, although the tabloids are now backtracking and saying that Jess and Eric are going to wait until the summer or something. Okay, that was all backstory – while everyone was paying attention to Jessica and (mostly Kate Middleton), Nick Lachey has been very quiet about his wedding plans. When asked, he deflects, and when he’s asked about Jessica, he is very gracious. Until now! During an interview on Wednesday, Nick seems like he’s trying to pull a JedI mind trick on his ex:

Nick Lachey took his time proposing to gal pal of four years, Vanessa Minnillo, 30, but it looks like they may be racing down the alter.

On The Rachael Ray Show Wednesday, The Sing-Off host, 37, hinted that they may wed before the new year.

“We’re going to be in Cincinnati with family, and hopefully having a white Christmas,” said Lachey. “We’re going to be in Tuscany for New Year’s. Who knows, we may be married in Tuscany, too!”

Other than that, though, the singer admitted he’s not that involved in wedding planning.
“I just basically told her, I said, ‘Tell me where to be, when to be there and what to wear, and I’ll be there,’” he said.

As for his ex Jessica Simpson, who announced her engagement to Eric Johnson in November — just a week after Lachey’s — she’s taking an equally low-key approach to her nuptials.

“I have not set a date and I can’t even think about putting together table settings at the moment,” Simpson, 30, recently told UsMagazine.com. “I’m just gonna enjoy the engagement and we’ll get married the moment we feel like it.”

[From Us Weekly]

Doesn’t it seem like Nick is daring Jessica to get married on New Year’s? Like he’s challenging her to try to one-up him and throw herself a haphazard New Year’s wedding? I think that’s what he’s doing. I think Nick and Vanessa want a long engagement free of Jessica’s drama, and that Nick decided to drop some fake “clues” about when he and Vanessa are going to have their wedding.

And you know what? Ten bucks says Jessica falls for it.

*waves something shiny in front of Jessica.*

“These are not the droids you’re looking for.”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ever since Jessica Simpson try to steal Nick Lachey’s thunder by announcing her engagement just days after Nick announced his, Nick has been surprisingly gracious and non-committal about his ex-wife. It’s almost as if… he doesn’t care. Like, he’s moved on and wants to act like an adult towards his unhinged, drunk, incredibly stupid ex-wife. Previously, when asked, Nick was very nice, just saying that he wished Jessica the best. Now, in an new interview with USA Today, Nick is asked more specifically about Jess’s attempt (in her pathetic way) to c-ckblock him:

Nick Lachey says he’s not listening to those who are questioning the timing of Jessica Simpson’s engagement to Eric Johnson, mere days after he and Vanessa Minnillo announced that they were also headed down the aisle.

“I don’t have any thoughts on any of it. I don’t know what people are saying,” Lachey, 37, tells USA TODAY’s Olivia Barker. “I’m not the one to speculate on timing.”

Asked how betrothed life was going, Lachey joked, “Well, we’re still engaged.”

But don’t expect The Sing-Off host (a new season of the show debuts on Monday at 8 p.m. on NBC) to do much of the wedding planning, which is just getting started. “Tell me where to be and what to wear and I’ll be there,” he said.

[From USA Today]

Nick really sounds like he has no interest in talking about Jessica in any way, shape or form. Which begs the question… why the hell did Jessica arrange her engagement announcement just days after Nick? Why is she still so hung up on this stuff? Why is she so friggin’ dumb? Ugh.

Also, every time I go to look up old photos of Jessica, I wince – she really was super-skinny back them, at times painfully so. Call me crazy, but I think she’s prettier when she’s a bit heavier.

Us Weekly has an interesting story about Jessica Simpson’s engagement this week in their print edition. Some of you may disrespect Us Weekly, but, like many tabloids, I tend to think Us Weekly does stuff about certain celebrities very, very well, and my opinion is that Us Weekly has great sources in Jessica Simpson’s camp, because they’re always breaking stories about her, and much of it turns out to be true. Anyway, the article is long, and at first it just seems like a glowing engagement story. Then it takes a nasty (and fabulously hilarious) turn. Here are some highlights:

*Jessica was pissed off that Nick got engaged before her. It brought out her “competitive streak” because Jessica thought “she would have beat him to getting married and being happy years ago.” Us Weekly describes Jessica as “unhinged” when she heard about Nick’s engagement.

*Eric didn’t know how to react when Jessica lost it. “He felt it was time to pop the question. I hear he got down on one knee and it was beautiful.”

*Jessica “isn’t making it a secret that she feels she’s paying the tab for her ex’s engagement bliss.” A source tells Us Weekly, “She really does feel Nick stole her money.”

*As for as Nick and Vanessa go, “neither of them care very much what goes on with Jessica” and they dislike how Jessica is “sucking them back into this drama.” Also, a source close to Vanessa says VM was “pretty shocked when this came out. She was definitely a little like, ‘Wow, she couldn’t even let us have our moment for a week?’”

*Then Us Weekly puts up a part called “Desperate Times” all about how Jessica has been thinking and talking about weddings for months, and how she and Eric went to a wedding a few weeks ago and Jess was sobbing through the whole thing.

*Jessica’s relationship with Eric started just because she didn’t want to be alone on her 30th birthday. “When Jessica met Eric, there was a chance he was going to reconcile with his wife. Eric and his wife were still very much in each other’s lives. Jessica swooped in and changed things.”

*Apparently, Eric “has his own money from investments” but his parents “are concerned this has all happened so fast. They don’t understand her world and wanted him to go to business school.”

*Joe Simpson apparently wanted to see Jess “married off” for a while and “Whenever she starts seeing a guy, Joe cracks jokes almost immediately about getting Jess a ring. That family is a pressure cooker the minute you step into it.”

*Also: Joe is making the engagement all about Jess’s career. He loves the attention it brings Jessica, and “he knows the timing means it’s money in the bank.” because Jess has a Christmas album coming out.

*Oh, most people around Jess think the engagement will be short, so she can beat Nick down the aisle. And most people expect this wedding will be bigger than her wedding to Nick.

Oh, Jessica. Something tells me (my brain) that you will regret this whirlwind engagement. And this isn’t the way to emulate…(coughhahahahaha) ANGELINA JOLIE.

Yesterday, after I wrote the story about Jessica Simpson’s engagement, I had a chuckle when someone commented that NOW we would be able to forget about Jessica, and that we should be able to stop doing stories about her. It still makes me laugh, honestly. Because that budget, fugly ring is only the beginning. From here on out, there is going to be a ton of new interviews with Jessica and Eric, there will probably be some sort of reality show being pitched, or at the very least, a “special” two-hour “Making of… Jessica’s Wedding!” docu-drama on one of the major networks. We’re going to have Jessica stories coming out the wazoo (Jessica’s wazoo farts smell like cheddar and tragedy).

Already today we’ve heard about Joe Simpson’s sad congratulations to his daughter, and the rumor that he is going to force Jess into getting a pre-nup from Eric. Beyond all of the wedding stuff, though, we still have this story: Jessica announced her engagement nine days after her ex-husband. Us Weekly already has a poll up about who has the better ring, Jessica or Vanessa (hint: Vanessa). And that will only be the beginning of the “Race to the Altar” between the two exes. So it is an obvious question: was Jessica trying, in her f-cking stupid, dipsh-t way, to one-up and c-ckblock her ex‘s thunder? Why get engaged so soon after Nick? Well, People has a little story about why now:

It is the ultimate race to the altar! Nearly five years after Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey split – a mutual decision after three years of marriage – both stars are officially ready for round two.

Just a week after Lachey, 37, popped the question to longtime girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo, 30, whom he began dating in 2006, Simpson’s beau, NFL player Eric Johnson, seemingly took a hint.

Johnson, 31, proposed to Simpson, 30, and now she has the ring to prove it.

Timing aside, however, a source tells PEOPLE that Johnson “had been planning the engagement for awhile and the date of the engagement was a special date for them.”

[From People]

Meanwhile, Todd at IDLYITW had a tip from a source close to the situation, who said: “A coworker of mine is related to Eric Whathisface, current Jessica Simpson squeeze. He’s from the Philadelphia area, so am I, so is my coworker, blah blah blah She told us yesterday that Jessica and he got engaged. The engagement was on 11/11 at 11:11 in the morning. I sh-t you not.” I want to believe that’s true, just because it’s so f-cking asinine. THAT is the “special date” that a source close to Eric was speaking of? Just a bunch of ones lined up in a row. Is that how far both of them can count? And if it was on the 11th, that would make it last Thursday – exactly one week after Nick announced his engagement.

UPDATE: Us Weekly just put up another story! I told this sh-t isn’t going away anytime soon. Nick Lachey has spoken, and he’s still keeping it classy: “I will say the same thing I always say: I wish her the very best.” He also says that he and Vanessa Minnillo are “still basking in the glow… [we] are enjoying that. I’m sure we’ll get on the other planning shortly. We are now just enjoying this experience.” It sounds like Nick is smart enough to know that he doesn’t have to cut Jessica down, and that he knows Jessica already looks crazy pathetic.

Whenever Jessica Simpson does something especially mature or intelligent, I think it’s worth noting. We have to praise her when she does good, people. How else will she know? Anyway, when Nick Lachey announced his engagement, you knew (I knew) that the tabloids would be eating Jessica alive, and that there would be lots of stories about “Poor Jessica” and “Angry Jessica” and “Bitter Jessica”. PopEater immediately had a piece about Jessica being “deeply saddened” about the news of her ex-husband. OK! Magazine had Jess “obsessing” over Nick. Even Us Weekly, in their print edition, had a story about Jessica complaining about Nick buying Vanessa a ring with Jessica’s money. Anyway, Jessica sees your tabloid rumors, and she raises you some grace:

A source tells the new Us Weekly (out now) that Jessica Simpson is “flipping out” after UsMagazine.com broke the news that her ex, Nick Lachey, is engaged.

But the singer, 30, sang a different tune on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show when asked for her reaction.

“I am extremely, extremely happy for him,” she said in the interview, released Thursday morning. “I don’t know where all those rumors came from. My mom actually called me and said that everyone was saying that I was ‘saddened.’ I was just in complete shock. I couldn’t be more happy for Nick.

“Our relationship was over a really long time ago, and it would be nice if everyone could move on with us and really just celebrate the love between him and Vanessa [Minnillo],” she went on. “I do, and I really wish them nothing but the best.”

Simpson says she’s content with her beau, former NFL star Eric Johnson.

They’ll celebrate Thanksgiving this year in NYC: She’s doing the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

“My first New York Thanksgiving!” she says.”I know his family’s going to be with us on the float at the Macy’s Day Parade, and my family will be there.”

She says she’ll likely return to her home state of Texas for Christmas. Says the singer, “Having a boyfriend through the holidays, we’re going to see how all that splits up.”

[From Us Weekly]

Wow! Isn’t that nice of Jessica? I really what she said – basically, “This isn’t about me, I’ve moved on, so should you, let them celebrate their love.” Coming from Dumbass Farty McBarfsAlot (her full name), this is wonderful progress. Well done, Jessica!