I’ve just been skimming Us Weekly’s full cover story this week, all about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel’s breakup, and it is truly disturbing. Us Weekly released a just-the-basics summary yesterday (you can read my coverage of it here), but the bulk of the print article is simply detailed accounts of all of Justin’s hookups while he was “with” Jessica. There are A LOT. I’m just going to do the highlights:

*Winter 2007: JT hooks up with a girl he met at a bar and had only spoken to for 15 minutes. “He found her Southern accent irresistible, the woman bragged to a friend, also revealing that she picked him up, and that he was an amazing kisser. According to the source, she and Timberlake dashed off to her apartment around the corner for a quick interlude, then he returned to the bar to rejoin his friends.”

*A source tells Us Weekly: “Justin often used a certain friend as a mule for the chicks he wanted to get with. He’d meet them at the club, then have a friend get the number or the friend and the girl would make their way back to Justin’s separately. No one batted an eye.”

*The British press refers to JT as “Justin Trousersnake”.

*JT tried to get with Rihanna circa Fall 2008, but she “would not go there.”

*Ciara also wasn’t into it.

*Kate Hudson and JT might have hooked up in December of 2009 – just before Kate and Alex Rodriguez split.

*March 2010: he was cozying up to a “handsy waitress” in Las Vegas.

*Fall 2010: Olivia Munn. They met in September and immediately began an affair. A source says they had “amazing sex.” A source says Timberlake wanted to continue the affair, but Olivia “didn’t want to be the other woman.” That source is likely Olivia Munn.

*When Jessica Biel “insisted” on throwing Justin a birthday party (he said he “just wanted a quiet night, even telling her he had to work”), Justin called up his lover Olivia Munn to complain. At that point, Olivia and JT were in “steady contact” although Olivia had “given him an ultimatum” to dump Biel. Rii-ight.

*JT’s “pickup tricks”: He flirts, shamelessly, and then he dances. Then he “pursues his interests with passion”. He “constantly” texted Olivia Munn and he blocked Mila Kunis from talking to other men. He also flatters, shamelessly.

*Biel believed that JT was faithful because “there were never any truly incriminating photos, voice mails or texts… if Jessica ever had proof that he had cheated, she would have left immediately.”

*The Mila Kunis Situation: A source says, “Everyone is trying to put Mila in the middle of this breakup, but nothing happened between them.” According to the source, JT tried the whole “Jessica and I aren’t really together, now let’s hookup” angle on Mila, but “Mila knew he had a girlfriend and made it clear it wasn’t going to happen.” AND! JT’s chances with Mila aren’t any better now that he’s single – “He tried every trick in the book, but Mila is not attracted to him.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

OK! Magazine also has something about Mila and Justin and how they totally did NOT have anything physical or emotional, but OK! Magazine says it’s because Mila doesn’t want to be like Angelina Jolie. Because Mila played the young Gia Carrangi and Angelina played the older Gia, get it?

Anyway, some marketing genius decided that this was the right time to release new, even more sexed-up trailer for Mila and Justin’s Friends With Benefits. I have to admit, I actually smiled briefly at two parts of this:

It looks cuter than that Natalie Portman-Ashton Kutcher junk.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

God, I wish we had access to these photos of Matthew Morrison and Olivia Munn. You can see them here – Matthew and Olivia sat together at a hockey game last night. They held hands. They kissed for the cameras. Matthew looked really uncomfortable and Olivia looked smug. This chick… she’s like a radioactive famewhore. While I don’t really care for anyone on Glee as a general rule, I think Matthew Morrison is much better than this. A paparazzi-friendly outing with this chick? Seriously? Her last relationship (that she publicized) was as Justin Timberlake’s side-piece. Maybe Matthew really worries that people will think he’s gay, thus, getting a date with the first available famewhore biscuit.

GLEE hunk MATTHEW MORRISON has sparked speculation of a new romance with OLIVIA MUNN after the couple was spotted kissing at an ice hockey game on Sunday (20Feb11).

The actor was photographed cuddling up to the Perfect Couples star as they watched the New York Rangers take on the Philadelphia Flyers at Madison Square Garden in the Big Apple.

Morrison was seen playfully nibbling on Munn’s arm and holding her hand, and the two stars later appeared to share a kiss while watching the game.

Morrison, who plays high school teacher Will Schuester on the hit show, has previously been linked to Cameron Diaz, while Munn dated Chris Pine.

[From Contact Music]

Chris Pine dumped Olivia when even she was too trashy for him, right? And that’s a guy who dated Audrina Patridge, so… yeah. And here’s just a brief word to all male actors who are gay and don’t want to come out of the closet just yet, for no reason: these stunts do not help your image. At all. Just go hang out with your boyfriend, it will look less obvious than this.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Back in November, Us Weekly had the “scoop” that Justin Timberlake had screwed around on Jessica Biel. What was new about this particular report? They had a name – Olivia Munn, that unfunny chick who somehow got a gig on The Daily Show. As I went through the full Us Weekly cover story at the time, it became pretty clear that the story/gossip had originated from Team Munn, if not Olivia herself. All of the quotes were about poor, betrayed Olivia and how Justin Timberlake had viciously lied to Olivia about his relationship with Jessica being over and done, and how he had just used her for sex, etc. Justin denied the story, and Olivia played some games with the other magazines, getting her rep to say stuff like “Olivia doesn’t comment on her personal life” and “Who?” (I’m paraphrasing). Anyway, another chapter, via Life & Style/HuffPo:

Justin Timberlake is up to some old tricks in the New Year. Though he denied reports last fall that he cheated on longtime girlfriend Jessica Biel, 28, with actress Olivia Munn, Life & Style has learned he’s still reaching out to Olivia. Over New Year’s weekend, an insider reveals, the Perfect Couples star, 30, was showing her phone to a few friends.

“She had several new text messages from Justin on it,” the insider says. “They’d all been sent very recently, the last few weeks of December.”

And they were hardly innocent.

“One said, ‘My relationship is basically over,’ ” says the insider to Life & Style. “The other said, ‘I’m thinking about you.’ There was part of a third that said something like, ‘You don’t understand how hard it is.’ I didn’t see that entire text, so I’m not sure how that sentence ended.”

A rep for Justin, 29, declined to comment. Olivia, says the insider, is texting back – yet keeping her distance.

“She’s super flattered,” says the insider, “but she’s not stupid. She’s not expecting it to go anywhere – but she’d love it if it did!”

[From Huffington Post]

Once again, it sounds like the story is coming from Team Munn. What is it with this chick? I mean, yes, JT is a douchebag and a cheater and a liar. No question. And Jessica Biel should totally dump him, but it’s pretty clear that Biel lets him do whatever and whoever he wants as long as they still get to be a “couple”. So what is Olivia getting out of it? My honest-to-God theory is that she really does want to be JT’s jumpoff, and she’s trying to publicly push him into either dumping Jessica or getting Jessica to dump him. She really is intensely stupid.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Olivia Munn has changed her hair! She used to wear it much longer, but she chopped it off before New Year’s, and she showed off the new cut at some events in Las Vegas over the weekend. I hate to admit this, but I have similar hair to Olivia’s, and I wear my hair now the length that she used to have. I once tried out this shoulder-length cut, and while I enjoyed the simplicity of it, it did not compliment the shape of my face. I don’t think it really compliments Olivia’s face either, but I may be biased.

Because, you see, I’ve never really cared for Olivia Munn. Her “comedy” seems based on being a hot girl in a group of nerds, and I tend to think that if she didn’t pose for photos in her panties, no one would consider her “funny”. Add to that the Justin Timberlake situation – where Olivia Munn and JT fooled around and then she – I mean “sources close to Olivia” – outed JT as a cheater and a player whose game consists of telling randoms and club girls that he and Jessica Biel are over, then changing his story once he slept with them. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the fact that one of JT’s girls called him out – it’s that Olivia did it as a way to protect her image (she was the wronged woman, you see) and famewhore herself out for her connection to JT.

So… I don’t really care for the hair. But it’s because I don’t like her.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Last week, one of the big stories was Us Weekly calling Justin Timberlake out for cheating on his long-suffering girlfriend Jessica Biel. Once I had read the full Us Weekly piece, I felt strongly that Olivia Munn – JT’s alleged mistress/lover/jumpoff – was the one to leak the story. Maybe not Munn herself, but definitely someone in Team Munn, just because too many of the “unnamed sources” were tilted towards a position of “Poor Olivia, JT lied to her and promised that she’d be his girlfriend, how was she to know that he’s a player, despite all of the evidence?” Plus, I think Olivia figured two things: one, the story would be more sympathetic to her if she leaked it herself, rather than another tabloid reporting a colder version of the cheating story, and secondly, I think she really wants to be JT’s girlfriend, and she’s trying to force him to dump Jessica Biel, or have Biel dump JT.

So… keep that in mind when you’re reading Us Weekly’s follow-up. Either JT is totally pissed about the story coming out and he’s even closer to Biel, or he’s still “in contact” with Olivia Munn:

Justin Timberlake was fuming on the LA set of his new film, I’m.Mortal, October 27, the day Us Weekly revealed he had cheated on Jessica Biel by having a three-day affair with Olivia Munn in September. His rep strongly denied the liaison.

“He was talking on the phone and texting non-stop,” says an eyewitness. “He was in a foul mood and seemed pissed off.”

But bad news and his ensuing bad mood didn’t stop the actor-singer from communicating with Munn, 30 (he rep does not discuss her personal life).

“They have been in constant contact since the story came out,” a source tells Hot Stuff. “Justin says he loves talking to her because she makes him laugh. He wants to keep Olivia hanging on – and break up with Jessica.”

Meanwhile, Timberlake spent Halloween weekend with his girlfriend of nearly four years, in British Columbia (where she’s filming), prompting one insider to speculate, “He doesn’t really want to break up. He’s spending all his free time with her.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

For some reason, Biel and JT are sticking to each other like glue. It’s like they both think they need each other… either that, or they really do love each other…? I know some are of the opinion that JT needs his “Hollywood girlfriend” if he’s going to make it to the Oscars (chuckle), and that Biel needs him because he makes her relevant, but I’m going to be bold and suggest that neither of them needs the other one, and that they’d both be much more interesting without each other.

Also, one last story – Star Magazine (via Jezebel) is getting on Us Weekly’s bandwagon, and Star is reporting in this week’s issue that JT’s excuse to Biel was that he’s an “easy target” now that The Social Network is so successful. Right. Anyway, Jessica bought that argument, according to Star’s sources, “even though he’s been cheating on her for years.” Right? How is his attachment to a successful movie any bigger or better than his success as a pop artist?

Yesterday, Us Weekly released part of their cover story, all about Justin Timberlake cheating on Jessica Biel with Olivia Munn. Allegedly, Olivia and JT spent three days in NYC, blissfully shagging, until JT was all “You know how I said me and Biel were over? I totally lied about that.” And Olivia was all “I can’t believe I’m dumb enough to go for your stupid line. Oh, wait. I can believe it.” Anyway, People Magazine has the official denials from Camp Timberlake and Camp Munn, although I don’t know who they think they’re fooling. Camp Munn’s source says:“Justin and Jessica are doing fine.” and “There is no truth to the reports. Olivia Munn is not that type of girl.” Camp Timberlake/Biel sources say things like “They are really affectionate and really seemed to be happy.” It’s rote at this point. JT needs to keep his junk more down-low to avoid these kinds of complications. But I’m not going to let it ruin my fun. I’m reading the full print copy of Us Weekly, and there are some interesting pieces of gossip that we haven’t covered yet.

How JT pursued Munn: JT immediately started chasing her, and “talking about how she was really smart and he wanted to be with her.” When Munn said no, “JT pulled out all the stops. He was texting her A LOT… Olivia believed their relationship might develop into something serious. I think she thought he was single.”

On the sex: “They had amazing sex. He was enamored of her.”

When Jessica Biel is away “they see each other when their schedules permit… JT has told people that he and Jess barely communicate when she is away, and texting had been their main form of communication.”

Back to Munn: “It became increasingly obvious that Justin might be using her.” When Olivia confronted him, the lies continued: “JT said he wants to be sure to let Jessica down gently.” He also implied that some Biel family drama made it an inopportune time to split.

JT’s player game: “He plays girls and tells them things are over with Jessica to get them hooked. But as soon as they put the pressure on, he has to admit that he’s still with her.”

The Mila Kunis incident: JT and Mila worked together over the summer, and sources say he tried to seduce her, “but she wasn’t interested in someone who was already attached…she knew he had a girlfriend, and she made it clear that it was not going to happen.”

JT’s friends call him “Trousersnake”. Ugh.

The Cameron Diaz incident: “Jessica wasn’t very happy about the Cameron Diaz costar thing.” Biels visits were scheduled to avoid a run-in with Diaz, says the industry source.

Why doesn’t JT just dump Biel? “He loves her. He doesn’t want to hurt her.” But another source says “I wouldn’t be surprised if they broke up. I got the impression it’s headed in that direction. I think he’s just bored.”

Why doesn’t Biel just dump JT? “She is totally in the dark [about his flirtations].” But sources say she isn’t desperate. “The second she has undeniable proof, she’ll breka up with him. But Jess doesn’t believe Justin has cheated on her.” Also, Biel is currectly filming in Canada, and a source says “As far as we know Justin is not going to be visiting.” But a Biel source says “She’s a tough girl. She doesn’t need him.”

Back to Olivia Munn: “He lied to Olivia and was not single. Olivia feels used. She’s a good girl and wasn’t expecting someone to openly lie like that, especially when it was so easy for her to find out the truth.”

About that Oscar nomination for The Social Network: JT “really wants that nomination… he’s using his press tour as a platform to make a push for it. He’s desperate to be taken seriously as an actor.” His costars are pissed about it too: “JT is annoying them. Everyone else is so grateful for the opportunities coming to the, but Justin is cocky.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

So… I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Olivia Munn was dumb to believe JT’s dumb line, and then the dumb girl decided to get revenge, and she leaked this story herself. Too many of these quotes are WAY too pro-Munn, and some of them don’t even make any sense! “She’s a good girl and wasn’t expecting someone to openly lie like that, especially when it was so easy for her to find out the truth.” Um, really? Because she didn’t bother finding out “the truth” before she spent three days boning the guy. Also – I love that Mila Kunis didn’t fall for his line. LOVE. And I don’t think Biel will ever dump JT. Ever.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I just can’t wait for Us Weekly to release any online excerpts of their cover story. This is too juicy, too interesting. Okay, Us Weekly’s cover story this week is all about Justin Timberlake cheating on Jessica Biel… with Olivia Munn. The Olivia Munn who is dumb and unfunny and some kind of female affirmative action hire on The Daily Show. The one who thinks she’s clever because she takes off her clothes and makes fart jokes. ZOMG Jenny McCarthy!

The cover line says “Timberlake has a steamy 3 day affair with Olivia Munn while Jessica’s 3,000 miles away”. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Us Weekly might have this story nailed down if they’re calling JT out so hard on their cover. They must have more than just some eyewitness testimony – they might have receipts or something. Plus, I think Us Weekly has some sources deep within the Timberlake camp – it was Us Weekly who went after JT and Jessica Biel’s relationship last year, and basically said that JT was trying to dump Biel, but that she was clinging to him. Hard. We’ll see. I’ll update or add a new story when it comes online. Oh, there is this, from Hollywood Life:

Is their trouble in paradise? Things may looks good between JT and live-in-love Jessica, but the singer spent one weekend last month hot and heavy with Olivia!

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel may have looked so in love Oct. 25 at the Glamour Reel Moments event in LA, but the singer was definitely not thinking about Jess last month while hanging with actress Olivia Munn in NYC! US Weekly reports, “Munn, 30, and Timberlake, 29, [had] a passionate sexual liason … and worse, she believed it was more than physical!” Uh-oh!

The sparks between Olivia and Justin began to fly on Sep. 26, when Olivia interviewed Justin for his new film, The Social Network. Then, on Sep. 27 and 28, “his driver dropped the new pair off at her hotel, the Gansevoort Park Avenue NYC.”

Sources say the pair were openly affectionate on Sep. 27 while sitting at a back table at Avenue nightclub. “At one point, Olivia did a seductive little dance with Justin,” one said. “Then, while he was dancing, she came up behind him and he held her hand behind his back.”

Olivia has been linked to actors including Chris Pine and Bryan Greenberg while Justin famously dated Cameron Diaz and Britney Spears. Justin and Olivia have not been spotted together since their steamy weekend rendezvous, but this is certain to not sit well with Jessica!

[From Hollywood Life]

Okay, it sounds like eyewitness testimony plus a source in Team Munn. This should show you how dumb Munn is – she has a fling with JT?!? What is she, a backup dancer?

UPDATE: Okay, Us Weekly just released an excerpt online. Basically, they say that JT “chased” Olivia after meeting her in late September, and that Olivia initally resisted because she didn’t want to fool around with a dude with a girlfriend. But, she relented because JT has been telling her (and other people) that “it’s over with Jessica, even though ‘the reality is he’s just doing it behind her back.’” Olivia thought that JT might get serious about her, then, so she brought him back to her hotel where sources say “they were openly affectionate.” Then an insider tells the mag that JT and Olivia had “amazing sex that night.” Us Weekly also notes that “Timberlake’s rep strongly denies the allegations; Munn’s rep does not comment on her personal life.”

Earlier this summer, Jezebel ran a story that cherry-picked a few quotes here and there, basically saying that these quotes were “proof” of The Daily Show’s “woman problem.” Basically, Jezebel’s Irin Carmon was calling Jon Stewart specifically and The Daily Show generally sexist because female “correspondents” have a short shelf life on TDS. While it would be nice to see more women on TDS, I don’t think Jon Stewart is sexist in any way shape or form. Just my opinion. Anyway, the story came just as TDS had hired – on a trial basis – a new girl, Olivia Munn. Munn is an actress, “comedienne” and “personality” who is very popular with some dudes because she is seen as “hot.” Mainly her “hotness” comes from the fact that she has never met a camera she couldn’t strip for. Such it is with her new GQ profile, which just came out. Before I even looked at the photos, I skimmed this brief interview, and I was kind of disgusted:

Before this summer, Olivia Munn was best known as co-host of G4′s Attack of the Show!, a gig that demanded a knowledge of gaming nerdery and a willingness to tongue-bathe an iPhone. But now Munn will appear both on NBC’s Perfect Couples and as the newest correspondent on The Daily Show.

The latter prompted some—including this writer—to wonder whether she’d proven her comedic chops to be TDS-ready, igniting a heated women-in-comedy debate, with Munn as the central talking point. (Her reaction: “I took a nap.”)

So how did she win over America’s boyfriend? In part, with a Holocaust quip.

“When we met, Jon mentioned being Jewish, and I asked, ‘The Holocaust—did it really happen?’ ” she recalls. “I mean, clearly it happened, but that’s my sense of humor, and it showed I could joke in that Daily Show way.”

Now that she’s moved on to political satire, does this mean the chocolate-pudding jumps are over? Munn concedes: “If someone got all the chocolate pudding in L.A., I might still dip a toe in.” Angelenos, quick, get ye to a Safeway.

[From GQ]

Now THIS makes me think that Jon Stewart is sexist. Because he would hire this girl who seems to think she’s “funny” if she says something inappropriate while taking off her top. Also: that has to be the worst Holocaust joke ever. Need a good Holocaust joke? Call Ricky Gervais. Olivia reminds me of both Jenny McCarthy and Sarah Silverman – but only the worst parts. This is how McCarthy got her start – she would take off her clothes and make fart jokes. That’s “funny” right? And Sarah Silverman because SS thinks that making awkward, ill-timed, “political” jokes equals hilarity. So why did Jon hire her? Is this affirmative action for unfunny morons who happen to be women? There are some truly talented female comedians out there, and it sucks that they’re not getting this job because Olivia’s got her tits out.

GQ photos courtesy of GQ.