If I ever had to go quasi-gay, I’d go for Lindsay Lohan. I realize that just last week I was calling for her to be banished to some island where cannibalism runs rampant, but I’ve been rethinking my ways. Why? Because when you date Lindsay Lohan and you get into a big fight with her, she flies you to Paris. And I never claimed to have morals.

You’d think Lindsay Lohan would be used to all the drama by now. But she was crying her eyes out the other night at the Crown Bar in West Hollywood, upset over a fight she had with her girlfriend Sam Ronson, who was deejaying. “They had a full-blown fight,” said our spy. “Evan Ross, Diana’s son, and Lauren Conrad comforted her while Lindsay kept wiping her tears.

[From Page Six]

A girl could reasonably worry that she’s lost the beautiful Samantha forever at this point. Luckily, LiLo has her charms. No, not her looks, or that Clay Aiken-esq smile of hers. Certainly not her charm, and definitely not her personality. But LiLo does have a little bit of cash, depending on who you believe. And what better way to smooth things out than to fly your girlfriend to Paris and say you’re sorry over a buttered croissant?

After a fun-filled weekend of modeling and partying in her leggings, Lindsay Lohan jetted off to Paris with Samantha for a little shopping and bakery hopping. Things seem to be fine with these two in BFFland, even though they had a little dispute last week that left LL in tears. Luckily the starlet still has a few things to help dry her eyes, like gearing up for her new album. Apparently she’s going to break it down with Ryan Seacrest once it’s all finished, and the American Idol host is already a fan of what he’s heard so far. Between Lindsay’s music and Dina’s reality show, it looks like we’re all in for a very Lohan Summer.

[From PopSugar]

I bet you anything, the fight that left Lohan in tears was over her new album. Like how much it must blow. As a well-respected DJ, certainly Samantha Ronson couldn’t lie to LiLo’s face about her suckitude, right? Several sites are hosting what’s said to be LiLo’s first single, Bossy, and by pretty much all accounts it blows. Well, unless you talk to kiss-ass Ryan Seacrest.

“I’ve heard some of it, I like what I’ve heard so far,” Seacrest told PEOPLE backstage at KIIS-FM’s annual Wango Tango concert in Irvine, Calif., on Saturday. Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers performed at the show.

“Lindsay is taking it very seriously,” said Seacrest, 33. “She’s working really hard. She’s working with great producers.”

The host added, “She’s told me that she’s going to come in and debut the entire record with me on my KIIS-FM [radio show]. We’re going to play some of the songs, and go through the whole thing together.”

[From People]

I’ve got to say, I really trust what Ryan Seacrest has to say in this case. I mean the man is known for nothing if not his critical thinking skills. Never does he pander. I’m sure if Seacrest gives it the go-ahead, Lohan’s album will be platinum within the first week. Although I’m also pretty sure she just offered to fly him to Paris to get what she wants. It seems to be working pretty well for her.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Lindsay Lohan is shown below last night at the Fornarina fashion show party at the Carroussel du Louvre in Paris. I’m pretty sure she’s not even trying to dress herself at this point and assumes her adoring fans will wear the same sweat-stained leggings she does every day of her life. Her girlfriend Samantha Ronson is shown outside of Louis Vuitton and hitting the tourist spots with her yesterday. Thanks to Splash News.

Life is really working out well for Blake Fielder-Civil, Amy Winehouse’s estranged, jailbird husband. By being married to Winehouse for just 11 months, Blake is expecting quite the payout at the end of their marriage – which everyone knows is coming in short order. Though he’s said to be on suicide watch at Pentonville Prison - where he’s also relapsed on drugs since finding out that Amy’s been cheating on him – Blake is clearly only sorta-distraught. He’s demanding $500,000 for each month they’ve been married – including the time he’s spent in jail.

Singer Amy Winehouse’s jailbird husband is demanding a £3million divorce payout as he rages over being dumped. Junkie Blake Fielder-Civil, 25, has told his lawyers he wants £250,000 for every month of their year’s marriage, despite being behind bars for part of it. And he fumed to pals after being ditched by the 24-year-old Back to Black singer: “She wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for me.”

A friend said: “At first Blake refused to believe Amy had dumped him, but his initial devastation has been replaced by rage. He said Amy owes everything to him — he inspired her music and says he saved her life. As a result of Amy his life will never be the same and he wants to make her compensate him. He has demanded £3million at the very least from her £10million fortune.”

[From the Sun]

So clearly Blake’s not all that distraught. I’m guessing the suicide watch is just a caution that the jail keepers probably institute in any case like this. Better safe than sorry and all that. Blake is back to his usual drug using. What a winner.

Sources at Pentonville Prison said Fielder-Civil had gone back to his old druggie ways after The Sun revealed Amy had bedded her manager’s assistant Alex Haynes, 22. He begged for heroin from another lag and inhaled it after getting his first clean drugs report in three months.

[From the Sun]

Blake going back to drugs doesn’t make me think he’s all that upset about Amy – from everything that’s been written, he seems the sort who’d take any excuse to use again. It would make a lot of people very happy to see Amy and Blake divorce –not the least of which is both of their families. And most of her friends. The notion that Blake in some way saved Amy is utterly ridiculous. He’s been nothing but bad for her – she had her act comparatively together until she met him. Who knows if she’ll get her life in order again, but Blake being out of it can only do her good.

Here’s Amy Winehouse entertaining friends at her home last night. Images thanks to WENN.

Amy Winehouse’s life sure has fallen apart. They say you have to let a person reach rock bottom – I’m not sure how much farther this woman can fall. The only thing in her life that isn’t completely ruined is her singing career – and most would say that’s on the way out too. The bosses at her record label have supposedly given her an ultimatum: clean up your act or it’s done. Yet Amy’s life just seems to be getting worse and worse, and her behavior more and more dangerous.

Two nights ago Amy went on a rampage at a bar – physically assaulting two men, doing drugs in public, trashed the bar, and smashed her head against a lamppost. As a result, Amy was interviewed by the police today, where she appeared to suffer a bit of a breakdown.

Amy Winehouse broke down in tears this afternoon as she prepared to be questioned by police over claims she attacked a man after a night out.

The troubled singer, 24, arrived at a London police station this afternoon for questioning. She is expected to be arrested after a 38-year-old man alleged she assaulted him. She was clearly distressed as she was driven away from her home in Camden, North London.

Police were expected to question Winehouse about an incident in Chalk Farm Road in the early hours of Wednesday. She was trying to get the taxi when a 38-year-old man approached… She is said to have believed he was trying to molest her and butted him in the face. If convicted of assault she could face up to six months in jail and a £2,000 fine.

[From the Daily Mail]

And in further bad news for Amy Winehouse, it sure seems like jailbird husband Blake Fielder-Civil has moved on from Amy and found a new lady to romance. The Daily Mail reports that he was mouthing “I love you” to a blonde woman in court, and she kept mouthing it back. Sounds just like him and Amy, back in those halcyon days of four months ago.

Meanwhile, Winehouse’s husband Blake Fielder-Civil appeared at Snaresbrook Crown Court, in East London, charged with assault and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. Amy failed to turn up for the hearing - not that Fielder-Civil appeared to notice. He was warned for repeatedly smiling and trying to communicate with a beautiful blonde sitting in the public gallery.

He mouthed, “You all right, babe?” and “I love you” to Sophie Schandorff. Fielder-Civil even made a beckoning gesture suggesting she visit him in prison. Schandorff, 21, also gestured and mouthed back, “I love you, I love you”, but was warned to stop by the court clerk. She later told reporters that Fielder-Civil was a close friend and that the pair had known one another for sometime.

[From the Daily Mail]

Something tells me it’s no matter to Amy – the Daily Mail also mentions that Amy spent most of last night with rocker Kristian Marr. Apparently they were holding hands and grabbing each other’s asses the whole night. Somehow Blake’s “I love you” to a woman who’s not his wife seems much more refined when compared to ass grabbing. In a way it’s a shame – those two sure did seem like one messed up, perfectly paired match. And it seems that the hope that Amy would get her life together if she could just get rid of Blake was for naught. Who knows, maybe the two will reunite in jail.

Update: Hollywood TV is reporting that Amy’s rep has denied that she’s been arrested. She’s insisting Amy is “voluntarily” helping police. That sounds about right - but that doesn’t mean she won’t be arrested.

Header of Amy being escorted into the Holborn Police station for questioning. Imags thanks to Splash. Below are photos from the rest of Amy’s night after her “traumatic” day at the police station. WENN notes: Amy Winehouse goes on another late night bender in Camden visiting the same pub, ‘The Good Mixer’ as the night before. She stocked up on disposable lighters at her local newsagent and was guided home by friends pulling bizarre facial expressions, and sniggered uncontrollably. Images thanks to WENN.

Joe Simpson has long been accused of controlling his daughters’ lives – especially eldest daughter Jessica. As she’s grown and (theoretically) matured, he’s downgraded his controlling to just interfering – but according to OK magazine, Joe’s presence is still having a massively detrimental effect on Jessica’s life. OK says that while everything is going comparatively well for younger sister Ashlee, Jessica’s life is essentially stalled – and it’s mostly because of Joe’s negative influence.

Although Jessica and Tony are very much still together (she threw him a 28th birthday party in Dallas on April 19), OK! has learned that Tony and, in particular, his family, may not be loving the fact that Joe Simpson is constantly popping into the picture.

“His [Tony] family’s view seems to be that Jess and her dad, Joe Simpson, are bringing Tony down,” a source tells OK!. “I think they are ruining his image, as well as trying to capitalize on his fame, in order to boost hers.”

The source also shared a revelation about the Mexico trip that Jessica and Tony took with his teammates in January, before the NFL playoffs. “Everybody agreed to tell no one about the trip,” says the source. “On the day they were flying out, who shows up? Joe Simpson. Tony and the other guys thought it was weird.”

[From OK!]

The magazine goes on to say that whatever hopes Tony Romo had of his relationship with Jessica turning into something real pretty much ended with Joe’s stunt. According to his friends, they’re pretty much just friends with benefits. Something tells me that wasn’t exactly what Joe Simpson was aiming for.

This might be naiveté on my part, but it seems to me that if everything Joe Simpson touches turns to crap, maybe he should stop touching things. Like his daughters. He’s long been rumored as the reason behind Jessica and Nick Lachey’s divorce – and really, who could blame Nick for not wanting to spend the rest of his life around that whackjob? Jessica is such a sheep; there’s no chance in hell she’ll ever stand up to her dad. She probably doesn’t even realize what a problem he is. The two of them will still be puzzling over it in fifty years when no one remembers Jessica Simpson as anything but that lady down the street that has a lot of birds.

Here’s Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo at the Waverly Inn on March 4th. Image thanks to Splash.

Jawn Murray of AOL Black Voices says that Kanye West and longtime girlfriend/fiancé Alexis Phifer have broken up. Murray claims Kanye dumped Alexis and didn’t give any specific reasons – just the good old, “It’s not going to work out.” The pair have been dating since 2002, though the broke up for a while in 2004. Murray announced the news during his segment on the nationally syndicated ‘Tom Joyner Morning Show’ on Friday morning.

Sources close to the hip-hop star tell me that it was West who ended the engagement after revealing to Phifer: “I just don’t think it is going to work out anymore.” The 30-year-old entertainer even asked for his ring back!

The often-controversial rapper/producer got engaged to Phifer while overseas in the fall of 2006. The two met when Phifer worked as the assistant to West’s fulltime wardrobe stylist. A graduate from the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising (FIDM) in California, Phifer is working on a clothing line and has already designed some dresses that have been worn by artists like Lil’ Mo. Sources close to the couple claim she was also helping West develop his forthcoming Pastelle clothing line.

[From AOL Black Voices]

That’s pretty damn low to ask for the ring back. Especially if Kanye broke up with Alexis and not the other way around. And considering he made $17 million in 2005 alone, it seems like he could probably afford to leave her with something shiny to remember him by. Kanye’s people have of course not responded, and will probably give the standard “no comment,” if they ever do.

West has certainly had a tough year since his mother Donda passed away last fall. He’s recently started touring again, and has earned a few scathing reviews – mostly for the massive display of ego. Certainly not the first time that criticism has been leveled against Kanye.

Pop superstar Kanye West took over KeyArena on Wednesday night in what was essentially a one-man show. With his backing band tucked away mostly out of sight in a makeshift orchestra pit and no backup dancers, no guest rappers, no preening entourage, it was just Kanye Kanye Kanye all night long.

The man is known for his ego — and in the narcissistic echo chambers of hip-hop, that’s really saying something — and Wednesday night the Kanye self got wide berth. He tried by sheer force of his own charisma to fill up KeyArena, and while the effort was impressive, in the end it was a little like watching Kobe Bryant pour in 64 points just so the Lakers could lose by two.

[From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

I guess the whole notion of him toning down his ego and being more humble and appreciative of life didn’t last long. Kanye seems like he could be a pretty difficult guy to be married to. The relationship would be like a threesome: Kanye, Kanye’s ego, and a woman. He’s a talented artist, but something tells me that in the long run, Alexis might see this as a blessing in disguise.

Header of Kanye and fiancée Alexis Phifer at Paris Fashion Week on February 29th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

According to The National Enquirer, George Clooney has a small memorial to marriage in his mansion. He’s taken his old wedding ring from his first marriage, to actress Talia Balsam from 1989 to 1993, and strung it on a ribbon tied to two candlesticks along with the rings from three of his friends. They say that Clooney uses the display to show that he’s not getting married again:

“George has assembled an anti-marriage shrine by stringing his old wedding ring and those of three other buddies on a ribbon and tying it between two candlesticks,” a friend told The Enquirer.

“It’s not like he has anything against the institution of marriage, it’s just not for him. He doesn’t think a piece of paper telling you you’re married makes much sense. George’s homemade memorial is his personal tribute to staying single…

“But as far as tying the knot again, George has said ‘Been there, done that, won’t do it again,’” says his friend. “That’s how he’s explained his wedding ring memorial.”

You could see Clooney doing this for laughs but being serious about it at the same time, like he has to remind himself what he and his friends went through. Whenever I think about Clooney and marriage, I’m reminded of his cad divorce lawyer character in Intolerable Cruelty who got scammed into married scheming Catherine Zeta Jones’ character without a prenup. I know that’s just a film, but I can’t help but think there are parallels to Clooney’s life. It’s like he knows he doesn’t always think with his head and is trying to keep himself single by force of will.

Clooney’s latest and surprisingly long-lasting girlfriend, former cocktail waitress Sarah Larson, recently told a Las Vegas reporter that she met the famous actor a few years ago at a party, but wasn’t available to date him until they saw each other by chance at the Ocean’s 13 premiere. Clooney is rumored to have broke up with Larson briefly in mid March when he suspected she leaked the rumor that they were engaged in order to pressure him into popping the question. He is said to have reconciled with her after telling her there was no way in hell he’d ever marry her. I see a theme here. It could have been created by the tabloids, but it does have a ring of truth to it.

George Clooney and Rene Zelwegger are shown at the “Leatherheads” premiere in Rome on 4/10/08, thanks to PRPhotos. They sure look friendly.

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have been dating for what seems like a celebrity eternity – about two years. Minnillo has long been reported to be nearly desperate to marry Lachey, especially since the pair moved in together last year. Accounts that she’s putting pressure on Lachey are heating up – but Nick is said not to be interested, at least for the time being. There are also a lot of stories floating around about Minnillo’s immature behavior, comparing her to a high school drama queen. Lachey has generally been portrayed as a pretty mature, sensible guy, and they seem mismatched in a lot of ways.

Nick Lachey and girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo are on the verge of splitting. The couple has been trapped in a break up-to-make up cycle, and now Nick is fed up with Vanessa constantly pressuring him to marry and give her children. And he came unglued with the former MTV host accused him of still being in love with ex-wife Jessica Simpson, pals reveal.

Their problems were on public display March 25 at the trendy restaurant Katsuya when they “sat in stone silence for more than 30 minutes after having what appeared to be an argument,” according to an eyewitness. “As they left that night, Vanessa was in tears sitting next to Nick who was gripping the steering wheel of the car.”

Three nights earlier, at a birthday bash for basketball star Baron Davis at the Stone Rose Lounge. Vanessa “had a good bit to drink, and she turned into a bitchy high school drama queen,” said an eyewitness. “She was rude to some people and then flirted with a bunch of athletes, partying like a single girl. She was hanging all over other guys. Vanessa was rude to fans who wanted her autograph. She spent half the evening sneering at other female guests. From what I saw, it’s not wonder Nick is sick of her.”

[From the National Enquirer, April 14th 2008 print edition]

The Enquirer goes on to talk about how desperate Minnillo is to “get a ring on her finger” and “have Nick’s babies.” I get really tired of the way they portray women as thinking about nothing but marriage and babies… but to be fair, that seems to be most of what you hear about in Minnillo’s case. Whatever career she had as an MTV VJ has totally died out, and her acting career hasn’t exactly taken off. The only thing she’s notable for anymore is dating Nick. Given all that, it makes sense that she’s pressuring him into marriage – what else has she got to focus on? According to the Enquirer, Nick is not giving in. He’s not in love with ex-wife Jessica Simpson anymore, but he’s still stung by their divorce, and remarriage is the last thing on his mind right now. Something tells me one of them will be giving the other an ultimatum pretty soon.

Here’s Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo at Vanessa’s Birthday Celebration at Lax Nightclub in Las Vegas on November 17th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Rumors of a troubled marriage have dogged Gwyneth Paltrow and husband Chris Martin pretty much since they walked out of the church together. Perhaps it’s her quiet, slightly frigid nature or the way they each generally refuse to talk about each other, but they’ve often been the subject of a lot of marital speculation. Which is funny because the speculation seems to vacillate between “They’re breaking up and they hate each other!” to “They’re having another baby!” over and over again. When Us Weekly cornered Paltrow’s mother Blythe Danner at a movie premiere on Tuesday (okay I have no evidence that they actually cornered her, but that’s the only reason I can think of for a mother randomly spouting off about the state of her daughter’s marriage) she denied that there was any trouble in Gwyneth and Chris’ happy marriage.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are happily married, thank you very much. Paltrow’s mother, actress Blythe Danner, has slammed blog reports that the couple’s 4-year marriage is on the rocks. “Good god, it’s just so tragic that people have to make up stuff,” she told Usmagazine.com at the NYC screening of The Visitor on Tuesday. “I’ve never seen two happier parents — or people — so I don’t get it.”

Daughter Apple turns 4 in May; son Moses is about to be 2. (Click here to see how Paltrow and other stars bundled up their kids for winter.) “They’re pretty fabulous,” she said of her grandchildren. “Yesterday my little grandson says, ‘Don’t go! Don’t go!’ You just don’t get that kind of love from everybody.”

As for reports that Paltrow (who stars in May’s Iron Man) plans on quitting the business, Danner insisted, “She very much wants to go back to work. “She didn’t set out to be a movie star — she set out to be a wonderful actress,” she adds. “But motherhood is very important to her, as it was to me, and I think she’s finding balance.”

[From Us Weekly]

Awww, that’s kinda sweet. Not sure if I believe it, but it’s nice that Blythe Danner at least tries to cover up for her daughter’s frigidness. That’s probably not fair to say, but ever since Ted Casablanca at E! started calling Paltrow Fish Stick years and years ago, it’s really hard to see her any other way. The moniker is so funny and fits so well… and when I think about those fish sticks I used to eat as a kid, I’m pretty sure they would look like Gwyneth Paltrow should they ever come alive and take human form. There’s definitely no denying that Gwyneth is a devoted mom – she clearly lights up whenever she’s around her kids. As much as we like to speculate that there’s trouble, it’s almost as nice to hear that things are chugging along just fine.

Here are some older pics of Gwyneth with Moses. I’ll say this for the rumors - it’s damn near impossible to find many pictures of Gwyneth and Chris together.

I have never understood what the big deal is with Justin Timberlake. I think he’s surprisingly talented, but what the hell is so irresistibly sexy about him? It seems like he’s considered the ultimate celebrity to date. He’s cute, but I wouldn’t exactly call him the cat’s meow. He’s more like that plaintive cry they make when they see a bird at the window. It’s kinda cute, but entertaining for only so long. When Justin first started dating Jessica Biel, everyone seemed to act like she was so lucky to get to be with him. She’s gorgeous! He’s certainly a bigger celebrity, but it’s not like an upside down Beauty & the Beat situation. But apparently Justin didn’t realize how lucky he was. According to Star, he recently cheated on Jessica with Kate Hudson. Jessica was in England filming her new movie “Easy Virtue.” Indeed.

JT flew VIP class on Virgin Atlantic Airways and was first off the plane when it arrived at Heathrow Airport. He dashed to a waiting Range Rover for the 30-mile, 110-mph trip to 16th-century Englefield House, where Jess is working on the romantic comedy Easy Virtue. And he arrived not a moment too soon. Jessica, 25, was furious, insiders tell Star, when she got wind of the reports that he had hooked up with Kate Hudson at Hollywood club Villa on Jan. 11.

…Justin spent an evening flirting with Kate, 28. While reps deny the hookup, an eyewitness said, “They seemed to be so into each other.” By the end of the evening, Justin was “full-on kissing her. They barely came up for air!” That’s all Jessica need to hear to go ballistic.

[From Star, Feb. 11th 2008, print edition]

According to Star, Jessica claimed she couldn’t trust Justin. Shocking. Several people on the movie set said the reunion seemed stiff and uncomfortable, and Jessica wasn’t exactly throwing herself back into Justin’s arms. The mag goes on to say that Justin wined and dinned Jessica and won his way back into her heart in less than 36 hours.

“After dinner, Justin “waited until he was in the back of his Range Rover, then cupped her face in his hand,” an eyewitness reveals. “Jessica brushed the hair out of her face, and he moved in for a kiss. It was a very romantic gesture.”

[From Star, Feb. 11th 2008, print edition]

You know what else is a romantic gesture? Not making out with other women when you’ve got a girlfriend. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but that always works for me. Flying to London and driving 110-mph to get to me is really sweet, but certainly less so when you’ve been shoving your tongue down other girls’ throats.

Picture Note by JayBird: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake in happier times this past summer.

Many a man has tired of Jessica Simpson. Many a woman his tired of Jessica Simpson. In fact, many a houseplant has tired of Jessica Simpson. She just strikes me as someone you could only be around in very small, controlled doses – and five extra minutes of her could easily send a person into deep psychosis. Now imagine that somehow - by the grace of God – you’ve managed to figure out a way to tolerate being around the straight-to-DVD blond. But every time you try to get a little, her creepy-ass dad pops his head in the room. Though to be honest, when I imagine Joe Simpson’s intrusions, it’s more like him sticking his head between the two lovers. Yeah try to get that imagine out of your mind now. Anyway, the relationship is plugging along, so the two of you decide to go away together – an all-important relationship step. And then Jessica’s dad decides to join you. Romantic, huh? At this point you’re just barely hanging on by a thread, but you want to try to make the relationship work so it’s not a total PR disaster for the two of you. And then Jessica tells you she wants you to sing a duet with her on a new country album. If you’re Tony Romo, that’s when you decide enough is enough, and you do your best to give Jessica Simpson the boot. But she’s sneaky, that one. Luckily, so are you.

Just when it seemed like Jessica Simpson and her quarterback hunk Tony Romo might not go the distance, the two were spotted cavorting together on a seemingly romantic hunting trip over the weekend in Texas. But now OK! has learned all might not be well just yet as insiders say the trip was a last-ditch effort to save their relationship.

On Jan. 17, Tony called Jessica at her L.A. home to try to break things off. “He said he thought it was better if they went back to being friends,” a pal of the singer tells OK!. “‘Just friends’ is not in Jessica’s vocabulary, and she is not a victim. She knows how bad this will look in the media.”

But according to the pal, Jessica refused to give up, and so Tony invited her on what he thought would be the worst date of her life: a hunting trip! “It’s Tony’s way of punishing Jess,” laughs her friend. “Jessica Simpson hunting — and without her entourage? Forget it!” Only time will tell if these two will make it. But according to an insider, “Tony has finally started to realize how high-maintenance Jessica is,” says her friend. “We’re talking diva status. She comes with an entourage, and that includes her dad, Joe Simpson. What’s not to love?”

[From OK!]

Poor Tony Romo. Jessica Simpson must either be really in love with him or one conniving woman. Can you imagine her hunting? That doesn’t seem like an activity that’s really popular these days, even for regular folks. The idea of Jessica Simpson hunting is hysterical. Somehow all I can imagine is Tony Romo, a gun, and a lot of blond hair. I can’t even visualize the rest of Jessica taking part in that. I’m not going to get into the hunting debate, or even the general gun debate. Regardless of how you feel about those issues, does anyone think it’s EVER a good idea to give Jessica Simpson a gun? She’s confused by tuna fish and buffalo wings for heaven’s sakes. Can you imagine the damage she could do with something that has a trigger?

Picture note by Jaybird: Jessica Simpson at Joans restaurant in Los Angeles on January 12th. Images thanks to Splash Photos.