This is kind of long, complicated story, and parts of it involve obscenities and homophobic slurs, many of it I have no interest in repeating. But still, it’s newsworthy just because Scott Baio is a f-cking idiot, and he’s married to a f-cking idiot too. CB thinks it’s newsworthy just because Twitter has become a breeding ground for E-list celebrities to make idiots out of themselves. To read the complete and unedited versions of this story, both Jezebel and HuffPo have more extended coverage.

So, here goes. Scott Baio was sitting around tweeting a few days ago. He wrote something about he wasn’t going to pay taxes because they just go to feed and cloth “lazy non working people”. Jezebel put that tweet up in a round-up of celebrity tweets, without comment. Scott Baio took issue with… being quoted? Maybe. He then tweeted a response, calling Jezebel a “web-rag” and “hypocrites”. One of Jezebel’s writers, Irin Carmon responded to Scott on his Twitter page, after which Scott went off in a rage about how she was from Brooklyn and she should no better, and how Irin was an “ignorant racist”. Which…? She didn’t say anything racist? But anyway, that was enough to pretty much derail everything, and apparently Scott’s minions are now cyber-stalking the Jezebel girls or something.

However, after all of that happened, Scott’s wife Renee took to her Facebook page to scream about how Jezebel was a “bunch of FAR LEFT lesbian sh-tasses!!!!” Oh, it gets better. Renee continued: “No wonder you’re all Lesbos because what man in his right mind could put up with your c-ntness? Scott Baio has more class in his piss than all of you all!!!!”

And then, much like the little incident in which Scott tweeted a photo of Michelle Obama and made derogatory comments about her, the Baios fell back onto their “some of our best friends are FAR LEFT black c-nty lesbo sh-tasses.” No, I jest. Renee then wrote: “True FACT: I have lesbian friends that couldn’t be nicer. They are true loyal friends. Those Jezebel lesbians are SH-TASSES!!!”

So basically, I think Renee was counting Scott as her lesbian friend. True FACT.

Former 80s star Scott Baio, 48, stirred up a sh*tstorm by posting a nasty, unflattering picture of Michelle Obama on Twitter with the caption “WOW He wakes up to this every morning.” The insults then began flying from both sides, with at least one person threatening Baio with death and Baio reporting them to the authorities. Baio was also accused of being racist, to which he posted photos of himself posing with his wife’s best friend and wrote “Do I look like I’m racist? This is Renee’s BEST frd. STOP USING THE RACE CARD!!!” That’s an incredibly typical and overused response. “I can’t be racist, I have a black friend!” I don’t think it’s necessarily racist to criticize someone’s looks if they’re a different race, but it’s sure mean to post a very unflattering photo of someone and express fake sympathy for their spouse. How would he feel if someone did that to his wife?

There aren’t too many people on Twitter wishing happy days for Scott Baio right now.

The former sitcom star’s is being reamed by fellow Twitter users after posting a highly unflattering photo of Michelle Obama with the accompanying comment, “WOW He wakes up to this every morning.”

Very ungentlemanly behavior toward the first lady, yes, but probably just a douchey attempt at a joke from an avowed Republican with issues.

“People need to relax and laugh a bit,” a probably startled Baio wrote when the onslaught began of people calling him everything from racist to a-hole to irrelevant. “Life is too short no matter what party you are with. A joke is just that, a joke.”

The tweeters who say they want him dead aren’t seeing the humor, however.

“PLEASE NOTE: The FBI has been contacted & we have a file number for the threats, along with twitter support. Thx,” Baio wrote at about noon today in response to posts like this one:

“Timafi: ‘easy to find your house Scottie boy and finish YOU. I am a republican and I love Mrs O.’”

Ishatonu “wonders how long until @RealScottBaio realizes his career is dead. Resorting to insulting Michelle Obama will only further his irrelevancy.”

“LOL @RealScottBaio got called out for being a racist mean spirit asshole and now he is having a meltdown via twitter,” wrote an apparently tickled windycitywatch.

“One bad picture of a woman & everyone wants to bash me? If it had been of Palin ppl would have prob. cheered. I am NOT making fun of any1,” countered a baffled Baio, who earlier today posted a photo of him and a woman he identified as his wife’s black best friend as further defense against the racism accusations.

But informing Twitter users that he had contacted the authorities didn’t stop the bum rush.

“Do everyone a favor @realscottbaio, and KILL YOURSELF!” user TrendZ86 wrote on Baio’s page at around 3 p.m.

“I love you to @TrendZ86 Waa Wa Wa.. LMAO,” the Charles in Charge star responded. “Funny thing is I’ve jumped to almost 5000 because ppl like to hate. You’d think they wouldn’t follow. I block’em & play golf.”

[From E! Online]

This touches on something that truly bothers me about the Internet. I realize this is ripe coming from a gossip blogger, but the personal attacks have got to stop. Yes we are very guilty of talking smack about people’s looks too. The thing is, people say the cruelest things online and are willing to take it many steps further than they ever would in person. Also, just because one or two people on the other side are out of line with their response doesn’t mean that your original post was justified. Just because people on the other side use similar rude tactics doesn’t mean that you should do it too. This is basic gradeschool etiquette but somehow it seems to have escaped many Internet commenters.

I hate flame wars, I really do. It’s a waste of time and there’s no reason to get all worked up over some stupid sh*t someone says online. Yes it was dumb, immature and petty to post a photo of the first lady and make a dig about her looks. So let’s just call it for what it is and let it go. It’s probably the most press Scott Baio has received since he was on Charles in Charge.

To be fair to Baio, I did hear about a foundation he started to help other families dealing with infant metabolic disorders. His daughter Bailey, 2, initially tested false positive for a disorder and is now doing fine. See, I said something nice when I didn’t have to. It made me feel better at least.

Let me first state that I think Scott Baio is a complete jerk-off who has been milking his Chachi/Charles in Charge fame for about two decades too many. However, after reading about the nightmare he and his wife, Renee, went through last year, I actually felt kind of sorry for the dude. Their new baby girl, Bailey, was born prematurely, and doctors told the couple that she tested positive for a rare disorder known as glutaric acidemia type 1, which can be fatal and causes seizures, coma and eventually, death.

“Every breath that you take, every thought that you have, every moment that you’re conscious, it’s all you’re thinking about,” Baio told CBB. “The disease is a constant in your brain. It never leaves you.”

The couple married in December, showing no signs that Bailey, who was at the ceremony, might be sick. But, “every time [Scott] would see a child, see a baby, he would just break down,” said Renee. “It was so tough to go through the holidays, our wedding … all the while knowing, our kid may die.”

[From People]

Ten weeks later, after a battery of additional tests, Scott and his wife got the news: the doctors told them that the initial test was a false positive, and that little Bailey was completely healthy.

Testing took 10 weeks, and when doctors told the couple Bailey was completely healthy and in the clear – the result had been a false positive – “we jumped through the ceiling,” Baio said.

Now 7-months old, Bailey is healthy but her parents have a thankful outlook and want to use their experience to help others.

“In a way I’m glad I went through it. Because this sort of thing puts everything else in perspective,” Baio said, adding of the foundation they are establishing, “We know we need to be a voice here, and that’s what we’re trying to do.

[From People]

Wow, that’s a great attitude. I don’t know if I could have reacted in the same way. If a doctor had told me that my baby could die, and then 10 weeks later, told me, “Oops! My bad,” I think I would have gone over the table at the guy and choked him with my bare hands. So hats off to Scott and his wife for handling this so well. And congrats on baby Bailey’s continued good health. You can see another picture of the little tyke on celebrity baby blog – she is a cutie pie!

Scott and Renee Baio and Bailey are shown on 2/22/08 at the “pre-Oscar Silver Spoon gift lounge,” thanks to Splash News.

Someone actually married Scott Baio. That’s about as smart as marrying OJ Simpson: you KNOW how it’s going to end. Not well. The eternal ladies’ man finally buckled down and put a ring on a woman’s finger. Turns out, all you have to do to get Scott Baio to marry you is get knocked up. A little over a month after giving birth to his first child, Renee Sloan, 35, walked down the aisle and pledged to love Scott Baio. And when I say walked down the aisle, I mean walked down an aisle on a rooftop during a hush-hush ceremony.

Scott Baio is 46… and married. The former Happy Days star and legendary bachelor finally tied the knot with longtime girlfriend Renee Sloan in a rooftop ceremony at a luxury high-rise Saturday in Los Angeles. The small religious ceremony was filmed for an episode for the second season of VH1′s reality show Scott Baio is 45… and Single, which premieres next month.

Among the attendees: Sloan’s 18-year-old daughter by a previous relationship, and according to sources, the newest member of the Baio family: the couple’s newborn daughter, whose name has not yet been released. Baio and Sloan, a model and actress he dated in the late ’90s after meeting at the Playboy Mansion, stayed friends, and reconnected romantically a couple of years ago.

[From People]

Frankly, if I were going to marry Scott Baio, someone so notoriously famous for his fear of commitment, I wouldn’t hold my wedding ceremony on a roof. It’s too easy for him to jump. I haven’t watched his show, but whenever I’ve seen Baio interviewed, he’s come across as kind of a skeeze. But there are always those ladies that like their men sleazy and horny, and if that’s your thing, you can’t do better than Scott Baio. So what kind of lady does it take to change the mind of one of Hollywood’s most steadfast bachelors? Well a set of fake boobs won’t hurt. Yet it still doesn’t sound like Scott’s completely on board with the concept.

Not long ago the idea of marriage was an anathema to the longtime Playboy Mansion regular. “My parents were married 53 years, good and bad,” the actor told PEOPLE recently. “Can I do that? Probably not. But I really hope I can. I don’t know, 53 years with the same human being? I can’t be around myself for more than three or four hours before I want to kill everybody.”

[From People]

Good luck lady. I’d try to pace your schedule so you give Scott Baio a little alone time every two hours or so, just to play it safe. And make sure the kid doesn’t rattle him too much. And I’d open up a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands and stash a little away for the future. Marriage or no, it doesn’t sound like Scott Baio is in it for the long haul.