The Daily Mail has a longish article today about John McEnroe’s appearance at Wimbledon this week. Apparently, McEnroe has dyed his hair, and now everyone is making fun of him. Personally, I don’t think the brown hair looks bad, necessarily. But it’s kind of dumb to dye it when there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a silver fox. Before he had a John Slattery thing going on (swoon), now he just looks like he’s one Porsche away from a full-blown midlife crisis.

Tennis great John McEnroe does not seem like the vain type. But his regular television appearances as a pundit may have forced him to take more of an interest in his looks. While last year he seemed happy to be grey, it was a different story yesterday when he unveiled a new brown crop.

The former tennis champion, 51, revealed the new look as he posed for photos to celebrate drinks brand Robinsons’ 75th anniversary of its partnership with the Wimbledon Championships.

Maybe he wanted his once lush hair to also reflect those glory days – albeit in colour at least. But while he looked charming and boyish even with his grey locks, his new brown locks made him look rather washed out and rumpled.

It was certainly an auspicious occasion for the champ-turned-BBC pundit, as he re-enacted his infamous 1981 Centre Court tantrum yesterday. In a playful return to his former angry self, McEnroe re-lived the drama at Wimbledon in front of fans queuing for tickets.

He screamed: ‘You cannot be serious!’ and threw down his racquet, just as he did after an unfortunate umpire called his shot out. It had been voted Brits’ most memorable moment from the championships.

The three-times Wimbledon winner told supporters waiting in the queue he was not as optimistic for British success as he had been last year when Murray got to the semi-finals.

He said: ‘It’s not looking as good as last year but it’s still pretty good for British hopes. It’s not as if Brazil wins every World Cup and you could say the same about Federer winning every Wimbledon so there’s definitely a reason to believe that, if Murray gets a couple of breaks, he can go a long way. But I’m not as confident as I was last year.’

[From The Daily Mail]

It’s kind of sad that McEnroe showed up to reenact that, right? That the 1981 incident is like his most memorable achievement, and it’s the one he’s parodied for nearly 30 years? Wasn’t he the best tennis player in the world at one time? And this is what he’s remembered for. Oh, well. At least he’s a good sport about it now.

By the way, just speaking about men dyeing their hair – there are rumors that Pres. Obama found his Just For Men box too. Where once there was a little silver, now it’s full-on black. I think he might have used a rinse too – like McEnroe. I swear to God, men are just as vain as women.

McEnroe (with brown hair) on June 20, 2010. With silver hair in December 2009, with Hugh Jackman.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is best known for his role as Henry VIII in the Showtime series The Tudors. Henry VIII was of course a rotund drunken womanizer while Meyers is a very thin, pretty drunken Irishman whose womanizing status is up to question. (He has a longterm girlfriend and we don’t hear much about him picking up women.)

Meyers has a new interview with Parade in light of the fourth and final season of The Tudors, which starts airing April 11. He says he’s ready for the next chapter in his life but that he loved the role and his work on the show. He also comes across as vain and completely unapologetic about it. Meyers wasn’t about to sacrifice those razor sharp features and tight abs for a role and says he couldn’t be bothered to gain weight in order to portray Henry VII later in his life.

On not gaining weight to portray Henry VII
“He was a lot heavier and taller than I am, but so what? I think I’d have been stupid to put on a fat suit and I wasn’t about to gain a lot weight. But I think Henry was better looking than he was portrayed in the classic portrait by Hans Holbein. I think he would have hated it. It may be great art, but it’s not a good picture. I’ve seen fat, ugly pictures of Brad Pitt because some paparazzi got him from a bad angle on a bad morning. So how would he feel if that were the sole image of him that would be seen by future generations? He’d be going, ‘What the hell? I was a great looking guy.’”…

As for getting passionate on the set.
“Actually, it’s not unpleasant to get it on with beautiful actresses and you don’t have any nasty repercussions afterward. To make it work, you have to experience a little sexual chemistry. But it can be a bit taxing when you’re doing sex scenes in front of a crew of like a hundred people under hot lights with cameras poking into all sorts of private areas.”

Go ahead and call him a hot hunk.
“I’d rather people think I’m sexy than not. Let’s be honest. Physicality is going to have a bearing on the parts you get. And if you think differently, you’re in the wrong business.”

[From Parade]

I love how Meyers justifies not gaining weight for a role by saying that a portrait artist just got Henry VII at a bad angle! The guy was obese as an older man, but Meyers didn’t even want to wear a fat suit to portray him. He just can’t not look pretty. He does do that exceptionally well, you have to give that to him. As much as Meyers was criticized for not physically embodying the legend of Henry VII, he was also praised for making the monarch so damn sexy. One journalist even called him “lickable.”

It looks like there’s plenty of male eye candy on this show. I just discovered another actor that’s arguably more attractive than Meyers – a guy named Henry Cavill who plays Henry VII’s brother in law Charles Brandon. That Brandon guy also looked nothing like the beefcake Cavill, below. Who really cares, though, when you get to stare at hotties like these?

Photos courtesy of Showtime via Facebook

Paris Hilton’s crappy reality show – an embarrassing attempt at finding a new best friend for a girl that no women like – has a new contestant, and she’s spilling the beans about Paris. And they’re not very flattering beans. Actress Laura Meakin replaced another contestant – a pole dancer – who had a burst appendix. Laura – who is described as very level headed – doesn’t seem all that interested in winning the contest to be Paris’ new best friend. If she is, she’s got an unusual way of going about it. She described Paris’ life, and it’s exactly as superficial and empty as you’d expect. And – surprise – Paris is really vain!

“Paris doesn’t walk, she floats. When she breezes into a room you can’t help but stop and stare at her. She never looks anything less than immaculate because she as a team of people constantly preening her to perfection. She is always worried that she looks too shiny or whether the cameras are getting her best side. Before Paris leaves a nightclub, her lip gloss is freshly applied by a flunkie, her hair is styled and she insists on looking flawless. She has a check in the mirror for lipstick on her teeth and then strides out.

The paps are jostling about and flashbulbs are going off all over the place and its quite scary. But she loves it. Paris totally adores the attention and the cameras. At the time she was still dating Benji Madden. He was ever so sweet and would be waiting away from the cameras with a glass of water and cigarette for her. She’d say: My feet are f***ing killing me! and be straight on her jewel-encrusted BlackBerry. She was hardly ever off that thing and was always texting and emailing. She actually had two BlackBerrys.

I was never fooled into thinking I would become Paris Hiltons best friend in the world. It’s purely an entertainment show and I saw it as a job. I must admit, I was also curious to meet Paris and find out what she was really like. She’s actually genuinely lovely. When I first met her I was wearing my designer shoes. She came up to me and said: Oh my God! Your Gucci shoes are so hot! That is honestly how she talks. Everything has to be hot. There is something very childlike about her.

I never saw her in the same outfit twice. If I saw her in the morning, by lunchtime she was in a completely different outfit. She must change about three times a day.

[From the Mirror]

Laura does say some very kind things about Paris, and points out that she’s actually very nice, even though she lives in a vapid bubble. A better way to put it is that Paris can be nice, when she wants to. She can also be a total snot, as witnessed by her comment about the recently married Fergie.

Paris Hilton chatted up Fergie (below) during the Vanity Fair & Krug dinner party at L.A.’s Chateau Marmont, grilling the singer for details of her recent wedding and honeymoon. But as soon as Fergie Ferg walked away, the celebutard sniped to sister Nicky, “Ha — my engagement ring was bigger!” Yeah, Paris, but which one of you is actually married?

[From the New York Daily News]

I’ll also note that Paris’ engagement ring was so big that she had to get another one for general day-to-day activities, because the actual ring hurt her hand after a while. It was a 24-carat ring. That’s just disgusting. And not “disgusting” like I’m jealous, “disgusting” like it’s ostentatious and tacky. Okay maybe I’m jealous. But that’s the only thing about Paris I’ve ever been jealous of. Well, that and her canoe feet.

Here’s Paris Hilton heading home after a night out in Hollywood on Wednesday. Images thanks to Fame.

In a new interview in Parade Magazine, Paris Hilton reveals her life strategies for feeling sexy, and says that the rumors that she’s set to play as lesbian on the television show “The L Word” are actually true. All those stories about how Paris is a party girl just aren’t accurate, she says, and she manages to handle the stress of it all and remain gracious by relying on the fine manners her non-slutty mother, Kathy, taught her. If you’re down about yourself and want to feel better, “just get a makeover” Paris says, as if we all have a team of hairstylists, makeup artists, designers and tanning spray-guys clamoring to make each of us the most plastic and orange we can possibly be.

You’ve sometimes been called a diva, but I have never once seen you be rude to anyone.

“That was definitely the way that we were raised by my mom. She always taught us to be polite. We had the best manners, so I’ve kept them.”

Any other “mom advice” you still carry with you?

“‘Put your shoulders back and don’t chew gum.’”

“My mom has always been really supportive. She’s one of my best friends. And she’s just always told me to stay the same and stay the sweet girl I’ve always been since I was little and not let any of the Hollywood stuff get to my head, and you’ll leave a good karma…”

The media seem preoccupied with the “Hollywood bad girls,” and often your name is on that list. Is that unfair?

“Yeah, you know, that’s just a stereotype they’ve come up with. And that’s fine, but I’m not a bad girl [laughs].”

We’ve even seen you under pressure during some stressful times. How do you keep the day-to-day attention from getting to you?

“I handle it really well. I don’t let that bother me or let the media or paparazzi take over my life. I try not to pay attention to things that are negative…”

Every woman has an ugly day. Do you?

“I think we’re humans. All girls feel like a “nottie” some days—like someone who isn’t turning heads. That’s just part of life. I just get a facial or a massage. Pampering yourself gets you back into “hottie”-ness…”

Not everyone can be a “hottie,” but can they still find something in themselves to feel good about?

“Definitely. I think that’s what life is about. You only live once, and you want to make it as best a life you can have. And I feel like, if people are confident and believe in themselves, that they can all be “hotties.”

“If you’re single and you want to go dating and have fun and be young and whatever, just go and get a makeover.”

[From Parade.com]

When asked if she’d rather be rich or famous, Paris said “rich, because then… you can just have everything you want and not have to deal with the press and people following you,” but conceded that she has both and that “It doesn’t even make any difference. I could be happy if I had nothing.”

Here’s Paris at the LA premiere of The Hottie and The Nottie last night. It definitely looks like she was cast in the wrong role when you check out her gorgeous costar Christine Lakin. Here’s the trailer, it actually looks mildly funny. The film isin limited release in the US starting February 8.

Thnks to PRPhotos for these pictures from the premiere.

I always thought the Sundance film festival was supposed to be respectable. Fun, but respectable. It’s original aim was to promote independent films. Tom Cruise blockbusters not allowed. But then they let in Paris Hilton. As if they need a cootie factory wandering around Utah. I’m pretty sure a whole team of epidemiologists follows Paris around wherever she goes. There’s a task force mobilized to Park City as we speak. As if anyone needed any more reason to believe Paris Hilton is a vapid, narcissistic waste, the heirhead has been toddling around Sundance, ogling her wonky eye at every swag suite she can find. She’s unofficially there to promote her crap-ass movie, “The Hottie and the Nottie.” Which is ironic, because if you see pictures of the “nottie” Christine Lakin (of “Step by Step” fame) without her “nottie” makeup, she’s a million times more attractive than Paris Hilton. But then again so is the rat that snuck in through my radiator last night. I digress. Paris is at Sundance to unofficially promote her C-movie that no one’s heard of and no one cares about. Her very presence is pretty much a slap in Sundance’s face. Instead of going with a hint of dignity, Paris decided to slut it up. No, not by wearing a bikini in the snow. She’s slutting it up by wearing a t-shirt with her own fugly face on it.

But the heiress didn’t appear particularly interested in the independent films on offer, instead focusing on just one thing – herself. The 25-year-old paraded around the city in a hot pink t-shirt with a portrait of face emblazoned across the front. She is at the event to promote her new film The Hottie and the Nottie, despite the fact it’s not in the official Sundance line up. A night earlier, Paris did what she does best – partying – this time with rapper 50 Cent. Moments before hitting the dance floor, she screamed: “Oh my god I’m having such a good time – this is the best Sundance ever!”

While it’s clear the festival has changed significantly since Robert Redford founded it as a small event for independent films in 1978, he insists it isn’t eclipsed by presence of Hollywood socialites. Redford said: “Paris Hilton and so forth doesn’t have anything to do with anything. There’s nothing pretentious – no red carpets, no limousines allowed. And so people come and mingle together like a real community of artists.”

[From the Daily Mail]

Isn’t that generous of Mr. Redford. Implying that Paris Hilton is in some way a part of “a real community of artists.” Who was that crap artist that painted all those pictures that hang in the lobbies of suburban Sheratons? Whoever they were, Paris Hilton is the acting equivalent of that hack. Though that’s probably a bit too charitable. She’s more akin to the posters that hang in McDonalds. The ones with the plastic gold frames. Just like Paris’ sunglasses. Seriously, I love that Sundance isn’t pretentious, but do they have to let every eight-legged creature in? Because they let in about two dozen of them after they hitched a ride on Paris. Paris has a history of wearing her crooked face on her shirt. X17 has a few photos – one that even seems to highlight the wonky eye. People say she’s actually a savvy businesswoman who knows how to promote her image… I just don’t think they meant it so literally.

Picture note by Jaybird: Paris Hilton leaving the Town Lift during the 2008 Sundance Film Festival on January 20th. Images thanks to WENN.

Simon Cowell has always seemed a little odd to me – and the fact he wakes up to an identical breakfast in bed every day confirms his oddity.

“In the morning, I have a very set routine – Brenda, my housekeeper, brings me breakfast in bed, and it’s always the same thing: Porridge, papaya juice, fresh fruit and a smoothie. I read the papers, have a bath, and everything is very calm.”

Don’t you sometimes wake up and think “Gee, I’d rather just have toast this morning” Nope, not Simon Cowell. Are you too lazy to make something else? Can Brenda not make anything else?

Anyway, Simon cheerfully admits to being vain, and having botox, but he hasn’t had plastic surgery.

“Vain? Yeah, I am. But to be honest with you, I can’t think of one person who is on TV who isn’t vain. It’s the nature of the beast. If you are on TV then you have a vanity, for sure. Just admit it! Why not?”

Goodie. We like admissions. Has he had copious cosmetic surgery then? His fellow X Factor judge Louis Walsh thinks he might have had pectoral implants.

“No, absolutely not. I have not had cosmetic surgery,” he sniggers.

Botox then? He sucks his (extraordinarily white) teeth.

“Yes, I’ve had Botox, but not in an obsessive way. Then again, every guy I know who works in the City has had it now.”

And he’s not gay either. Who said he was? Is he starting his own rumours now?

“If I was, why hide it? It’s not as if the music business would be an odd place for a gay man to work. And anyway, if I was trying to hide the fact that I was gay, I would be off playing rugby every Saturday, wouldn’t I?”

The Daily Mail

Rugby players can’t be gay? I thought they could. Well, maybe while you’re out playing rugby you can also drink beer and go fishing – except gay men can do all those things too!

The good news is, Simon says in the interview that he has no plans to procreate. Unfortunately he still intends to make low quality cheap television shows, where he humiliates contestants for entertainment value.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Simon Cowell is shown in the header image at the National Television Awards in London on 10/31/07 with his ex girlfriend, singer Sinitta. Cowell insists that nothing is going on with married Sinitta and that his girlfriend Terryi Seymour is not bothered that they remain friends.Sinitta works as a mentor on Cowell’s British talent show X-Factor. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

I can’t explain it, and I should be embarrassed to admit it, but I love Star Jones gossip. Probably because she’s just so dense. Not literally dense, but in the sense that she just seemed to have no clue how tacky and disliked she was. It did seem to sink in after a while, and she admitted that in hindsight her wedding was overdone, as was her obsession with talking about it. So if nothing else, it’s nice to see some growth in terms of self-awareness. In anticipation of her upcoming show on CourtTV, Jones is writing a confession of sorts for Glamour magazine, out August 7th. Titled “Getting Over Myself,” the piece discusses her dramatic weight loss of an estimated 150 pounds. In the past, all Jones would say was that she had “medical intervention.” Of course that could mean ten different things. Most believe that she had gastric bypass surgery, considering how quickly she lost a dramatic amount of weight.

“The Star power hour will be a chatty daily compendium of the top stories from the worlds of law, news, pop culture and entertainment. In other words, it’ll be everything from Scooter Libby to Paris Hilton to “Harry Potter.” At least that’s the plan.

“’Provocative television that’s entertaining and relevant — not for insult or embarrassment purposes, but for inspirational purposes and entertainment purposes,’ is how Jones described her hopes for the tone of her show to TV critics during a Court TV news conference Sunday morning.”

[From the Detroit Free Press]

It sounds like Star is trying pretty hard to make nice, and that’s a good thing. She’s acknowledged that she was self-absorbed and given to ridiculous extravagances in the past. I think her “talent” for self promotion, and the way it annoyed people, really clouded the fact that she’s pretty sharp. She was a New York City criminal prosecutor before joining “The View.” If she could wipe out all her boasting for good, she could still have a really great career ahead of her.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Star Jones is shown in her side career as a lobbyist in a picture from 4/23/07 in which she was visiting Congress on behalf of First Star, which strives to bring awareness to child abuse. It was also sponsored by Build a Bear workshop, so surely she got paid. Thanks to WENN for this picture.

If Dita Von Teese hadn’t married Marilyn Manson her career would never have taken off. I’d never heard of her before she married Manson.

She’s a stripper with fancy accessories. You can call it burlesque or any name you like, but she’s taking off her clothes to music. There’s nothing wrong with that, but she seems all snotty and self-satisfied as if she’s acting in art films rather than giving people a glimpse of her goods.

Dita stripped for Hugh Heffner’s 80th birthday party in Paris on 5/29. TMZ has a lousy video of her stripping that isn’t worth the wait. Listen to the crap she says about other strippers:

So, you’re saying that you gyrate better Dita? I mean, you’re good at your job and all but you’re a stripper. Get over yourself. If you weren’t Mrs. Marilyn Manson you wouldn’t be famous.

Dita and Marilyn aren’t going to last. She’s too full of herself.

Here’s a link to a high quality YouTube NSFW video of Dita stripping in New Orleans. (I would have included it here, but embedding is disabled for this video.)

Dita Von Teese, the burlesque stripper wife of Marilyn Manson, is getting too big for her glam britches. She somehow thinks that showing up for stuff and taking off her clothes qualifies her to deem most starlets “forgettable”:

Who remembers Cher at all? I don’t. And Madonna is only memorable for pulling tired ass stunts this week.

Dita, you look like you’re the product of a team of retro stylists, so what are you talking about? You’re balanced precariously half a step up from an average stripper. Cultivating a 40s image and being Mrs. Marilyn Manson doesn’t give you enough credit to bash women who star in actual films.

Here’s a shaky NSFW video of a Dita strip show:

And here she is shopping in NY [via] and at Cannes. Now that I’ve read this quote from her, I realize that the serene look she always sports is just her being smug.

Tom Cruise actually attended the Mexico City premiere of Mission Impossible 3 on Monday. He seems to care more about his fans than his wife and new baby. No other stars from the movie, not even secondary ones, appear in the premiere pictures so it can be assumed that he’s the only one who went. If I’m wrong let me know.

When asked about Suri at a press conference, he said: “The hours go by so quickly, as I just stare at her.” He also dismissed claims that he ate the baby’s placenta, calling them “ridiculous.” You said it, Tom.

Here’s a brief video of excerpts from Tom’s press conference in Mexico. He discusses MI3′s director, JJ Abrams, and baby Suri. He seems distracted, tired, and out of sorts.

And here are pictures of him basking in the attention.