Stylish Celebrity Escapism
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Mar 1
'06
Eva Longoria plans to cuckold Tony Parker ten times

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Eva Longoria claims to want ten children right away. Apparently her decision to become a mother is entirely based on vanity:

She said: “I want ten children and I can’t wait. I don’t want to be pregnant on the show until I am in real life. What if I was pregnant this year in the show and then pregnant next year in real life? So when I get married and get pregnant, hopefully Gabrielle will get pregnant too.”

That’s right - what would happen if your character was pregnant and you weren’t, but then you got pregnant the next year anyway? The mind just boggles. Maybe you’d have to, uh, wear a fake belly or large clothes. Eva wants to get pregnant now so that her character doesn’t look unnecessarily fat.

In a transparent bid to add legitimacy to her relationship, she goes on to explain how helpful she is to Parker around the house:

Eva, who is rumoured to be engaged to Tony, also claims she is the perfect housewife to her lover at home - and aims to please him.

She explained to Britain’s New magazine: “When I’m home, I cook every meal for him. He was walking around the house the other day wearing a wrinkled shirt and I made him take it off because I had to iron it.

“But Tony thinks it’s also very important to please me and make sure I’m happy, so it’s a very good balance.”

Sure it’s a good balance, Eva, you just keep saying that.

Posted in Babies, Eva Longoria, Sluts

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 1
'06
Lachey’s body is worth 1/2 million

Nick Lachey shirtless with both hands in the air with the caption what you dont think I'm worth it?
Nick Lachey just got a half million dollar deal to endorse an exercise program on TV. You know you watch that crap when you can’t sleep thinking “I could change my life, but there’s no way I’m going to pay $39.95.” Page Six claims:

The former boybander just scored a cool $500,000 for agreeing to be in an infomercial. According to Us Weekly, Lachey “pumps it up” with Brooke Burke in new ads for celebrity trainer Gunnar Peterson’s “Core Secret” DVDs. And because he signed the deal after his separation from Simpson, he doesn’t have to give her a dime.

Nick is really buff, but 1/2 million for being a spokesperson? This news seems old, considering that A Socialite’s Life had screencaps of the infomercial nearly a month ago.

Posted in Endorsements, Nick Lachey

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 1
'06
Presley is preserved

Priscilla Presley on a bed with the caption If you buy these sheets, you can bed a washed-up botox victim
Priscilla Presley is promoting her new bedding line. The woman is 61 years old. She doesn’t look great, she looks like a mannequin! My mother is 61 and had one tasteful facelift a few years ago. Unlike Presley, her eyes have some wrinkles around them, and her face is capable of making all the regular expressions.

In order to look like this, you have to undergo multiple surgeries and continual maintenance. You also have to be deluded to not realize that you look ridiculous. Presley is a Scientologist so she’s perfectly capable of being deluded. If Scientology was opposed to unnecessary plastic surgery as well as medically necessary drugs, they wouldn’t have a single celebrity member. [via]

Posted in Plastic Surgery, Presleys

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 1
'06
Howard Stern gets hit with a massive lawsuit

Illustration of Howard Stern with arrows in his body and the caption 400 million? that hurts
Howard Stern is being sued by former employer CBS for promoting his upcoming Sirius show on the air. Stern was proportedly warned to cut it out, but kept on it in his trademark style:

The CBS suit claims Stern “repeatedly and willfully breached his written contract with CBS Radio over the last 22 months of that contract, misappropriated millions of dollars worth of CBS Radio airtime for his own financial benefit, and fraudulently concealed his interest in hundreds of millions of dollars of Sirius stock while promoting it on the air.”

By touting his move from terrestrial radio, the suit contends, Stern essentially gave Sirius free ad time on his CBS syndicated show–this, despite being on orders from CBS suits to tone down the Sirius plugs. (Last November, a month before he signed off from CBS Radio, his bosses there suspended Stern for one day for overtly hyping Sirius.)

Stern says it’s personal and that he disclosed details of his new contract to CBS.

Whatever the outcome, CBS is losing money. Stern’s replacement, David Lee Roth, is tanking in the ratings.

Posted in Howard Stern, Lawsuits

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 1
'06
Celebrity stylists hate nannies

picture of Rachel Zoe with nanny Joe Frost with the caption
The Independent reports on the cutthroat world of dressing for the Oscars, where bribes and last-minute gown changes have stylists scrambling to get clients ready in time. Not only do designers create custom-made gowns hoping to dress a fickle actress, Oscar attendees can even get paid to wear specific brands:

At the 2000 Academy Awards Hilary Swank caused an uproar at Christian Dior by swapping gowns the night before the Oscars. Instead of wearing Dior, as she had told the French couture house she would, she opted for one of Randolph Duke’s gowns following a back-room deal between Duke and one of her stylists, that involved a gift to the stylist of a $1,200 Spanish wood bed. Less than 24 hours before the 2005 Golden Globes Charlize Theron and Hilary Swank made a last-minute switch. Both abandoned the Harry Winston jewels they had already picked out when Chopard offered each actress a six-figure cheque to wear their jewellery.

Renee Zellweger avoids the drama by having an exclusive contract with designer Carolina Herrera. No wonder she always looks the same.

Stylist to Catherine Zeta Jones, Fati Parsia, reveals her bitterness over a lifetime of nicknames by deriding overweight nannies:

“Actresses have deep insecurities and it really shows when it comes down to choosing which dress,” says Parsia. “It’s difficult for a stylist because actresses will listen to anyone’s opinion. You get the agent, the publicist, the maid, the maid’s daughter, the dog, the 300lb nanny, and they’ve all got an opinion and if you’re the 300lb nanny and all you’ve ever worn is Lycra leggings and a big T-shirt… Well, it’s very infuriating. They hire you as a professional, you work for months getting the perfect dress, and all of a sudden, the nanny’s opinion is more important.”

Parsia copes with last-minute stress and nanny competition by drinking excessively and not eating:

As the final countdown approaches, Parsia says her tactic is to introduce alcohol to the scene. “At the last minute, you’ve got the family there, the publicist, the hair and make-up people, the manicurist, myself… the nanny. It gets pretty nerve-wracking. Out on the roads it’s a nightmare too. Just about every limo from all over America is shipped into LA and they are all trying to descend on the Kodak Theatre at the same time. It’s frantic. You need a glass of wine.”

By the time Parsia has waved off her clients, Parsia says she, herself, usually looks emaciated. “I don’t eat for days in the run up to the Oscars. It’s too stressful,” she says.

It’s nice to know that the Oscar attendees are being dressed by people they can relate to - neurotic, alcoholic anorexics.

(The stylist pictured above is Rachel Zoe, stylist to Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie. The Nanny is ABC’s Supernanny, Joe Frost.)

Posted in Fashion, Oscars

Written by Celebitchy         1 Comment »
Mar 1
'06
Lindsay Lohan at the GM Fashion Show

Lindsay Lohan at the GM Fashion Show in LA. She’s still having issues with her lipstick, and has apparently joined a cult. At least she’s looking somewhat healthy. [via]

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Posted in Fashion, Lindsay Lohan, Photos

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 1
'06
Links 3/1


- Lindsay Lohan nipple slip pictures (Egotastic)
- Answers to the Liev-Naomi-Winona love triange (Gawker)
- Is Britney pregnant or just fat? (Perez Hilton)
- Haley Haylie (who cares how she spells it) Duff’s giant nose at the GM Fashion show (I’m not obsessed)
- Courtney Cox to play Bonnie Fuller (Jossip)
- Scarlett Johansson’s Loreal Commercial. The Robert Palmer backup singer look is back. (Oh no they didn’t)
- The Bastardly starts an “I hate Jennifer Aniston” blog - help them out (Bastardly)

Posted in Links

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 1
'06
Mischa Barton at the GM fashion show

It looks like all the hot actresses attended. (Hopefully their stylists were sober and unoffensive.) [via]

Mischa Barton at the GM Fashion ShowMischa Barton at the GM Fashion ShowMischa Barton at the GM Fashion Show

Posted in Fashion, Mischa Barton, Photos

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 1
'06
Lindsay Lohan in April’s Seventeen Magazine

Poor choice of wig for these retro shots (I hope that’s a wig and not her real hair!) but the pictures are flattering.
Two more after the jump [via]

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(Read more…)

Posted in Lindsay Lohan, Photos

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Mar 1
'06
Johnny Depp shirtless - just because

Johnny Depp shirtless on a boat facing up with a glass of red wine in his hand
Johnny Depp has a glass of wine during a break from shooting “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (really, that’s the name of the film.) [via]

His uppity co-star Keira Knightly says that Depp and Orlando Bloom have been teasing her since her Oscar nomination:

Knightley told Britain’s Heat magazine: “They’ve been taking the p*** out of me.

“Every time I do a take, they say, ‘Oh, is that an Oscar-nominated take?’”

Supposedly Keira has been a diva on set, bringing along a big entourage and insisting that crew not make eye contact with her. She deserves to be teased.

Posted in Arrogant, Johnny Depp, Keira Knightly, Photos

Written by Celebitchy         3 Comments »
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