By most of our speculative accounts, Jessica Simpson is depressed and vulnerable over a year after her marriage broke up. Her ex has found love with a cute VJ while she was dumped by text message by one philandering rock star and publically shot down by another.

It looks like she’s now dating the guy who was quick to deny all the tabloid reports by her now-fired publicist that they were a couple. US Weekly and People had cover stories of the non-romance between Jessica and John Mayer in early September, just in time for the release of Jessica’s terrible new album.

They were seen hooking up at the Chateau Marmot since, but haven’t really stepped out much together until now. They were all over each other at a New Year’s party and were later seen shopping together at the jewelry counter at Barneys in New York.

By Star’s account, Jessica was more than clingy and jealous while out with Mayer on New Year’s eve:

Star witnessed the new couple in action. Jessica was in a long black dress and a black sweater as she sat with John in the library/VIP room of the Hudson Hotel party all night even though the singer-guitarist was more or less ignoring her! The buxom blond spent much of her time tugging on his leg or clothing while he talked to other people. Ultimately, after growing tired of being ignored, Jessica threw a mini pout and was awarded a kiss from John.

Then the lovebirds started nuzzling and kissing for real. But when John got up again and started talking with someone else, she started grabbing and squeezing his ass. Finally in a stronger display of affection, John grabbed Jessica’s face in his giant hands, pulled her close and planted several very firm kisses on her lips before they left together at 2:47am.

The NY Daily News reports that they were publically making out that night, and that it was mutual. They also say that Mayer’s Christmas present to Jessica was a framed copy of the US Magazine cover that says he dumped her, and that they’re staying together at a hotel.

John Mayer and Jessica Simpson rang in ‘07 “full-on making out” at the Hudson Hotel party thrown by Christina Aguilera. It was the first public acknowledgment of a relationship they have been denying since August. (The mystery source on that first story, by the way, was a deliveryman who saw Mayer in his boxer shorts at Simpson’s home, and sold it to the tabs.)

“He was scratching her back, they were kissing, it wasn’t subtle,” says a spy at the Heineken-sponsored bash. The couple dined earlier in the evening at Country, after shopping at Barneys during the day.

A source tells us they are staying together at The Mercer hotel in SoHo.

An insider says: “John has been thrilled that they have been tricking the media, but she doesn’t really care. His Christmas present to her was a framed copy of the Us Weekly cover that says ‘Dumped: John ditches Jessica.’”

Here are pictures of John and Jessica at the jewelry counter at Barney’s in New York. They do some sort of weird high-five thing that seems to last forever, which was probably a show for the photographers. I haven’t heard yet if they purchased anything, and will keep you updated. Thanks to SweetKisses.net for these pictures from Photolink.net

Jessica Alba is giving photographers plenty of cute shots while vacationing in Miami with her boyfriend, Cash Warren. She played football in the water with her brother (thanks FF!) and Cash and looks like she was having fun. Alba is seen in a bikini with a purple top and gold bottom. Yesterday we published pictures of her sunbathing in an equally-flattering all black bikini. The girl could wear a garbage bag and still look good, though.

Alba is starring in a sequel to The Fantastic Four called Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer in which she reprises her role as Susan Storm the Invisible Woman . It opens on June 17, 2007. She is also filming a movie called The Eye, where she plays a visually impaired woman whose eye transplant allows her to see the dead. Her character plays the violin, and Alba is dutifully learning the instrument to prepare for the role:

“I’m learning how to play the violin, and this is what I’m learning.” Holding up some sheet music for “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” Alba said she’s been subjecting temporary neighbors Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis and Ioan Gruffudd to her squealing violin as she prepares to play a visually impaired musician in the Tom Cruise-produced remake of the Hong Kong thriller. “I suck,” she giggled. “But I’m learning slowly but surely. [I also have my] beloved, torturous violin. In between setups, I come in here and practice.” Alba is planning to shoot the flick — about a woman whose eye transplant allows her to see dead people — once her Sue Storm duties wind down. …

It sounds like a pretty dumb movie, but it almost doesn’t matter how crappy Jessica Alba’s movies are because she’s so gorgeous and well put together that her image remains the same.

Halle Berry was seen out with a ring on her left ring finger while shopping recently, sparking speculation that she’s engaged to her model boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry. Halle said she never wanted to be married again, as a result of her first two failed marriages. She was married to baseball player David Justice from 1992 to 1996, and their marriage is thought to have ended due to the stress of Halle’s celebrity lifestyle along with busy schedules which kept them apart.

Her second marriage to singer Eric Benet ended in 2004 after three years. Benet has admitted he was unfaithful to Berry, but says he was not as much of a cheater as Berry claims. Berry said in an interview that Benet cheated on her an astonishing “27 times.”

Berry’s ring looks too plain to be an engagement ring, but it’s possible the stone is turned around or that she’s wearing the ring for another reason.

Thanks to Flynetonline for these pictures.

Yesterday we published the story that Aniston was partying it up in Los Cabos, Mexico with Courteney Cox, Sheryl Crow and Courteney’s family for the holiday. Flynet online has some pictures of the group out to dinner, and it looks like Los Cabos is a favorite with celebrities this season. Apprentice winner Bill Rancic and his girlfriend E! star Giuliana DiPandi were there along with Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton. Flynet reports that they all ate together at the same restaurant on New Year’s eve. Adam Sandler and his wife were also seen out in Los Cabos that day.

Kate Moss’ publicist says she definitely didn’t marry Pete Doherty in Thailand yesterday. I’m thinking they had some sort of Buddhist non-binding ceremony, though. The source had details including the length of the ceremony and the designer of Kate’s dress, and it’s possible that they invented the entire thing, but to me it’s more likely that they had a ceremony that was short of a real wedding:

“Contrary to various entirely false media reports today, there has not been any kind of marriage ceremony in Thailand. She is on holiday,” her spokesman, Stuart Higgins, said in a statement Tuesday.

Britain’s Sun and Daily Mirror had reported that the model, 32, and the Babyshambles frontman, 27, tied the knot in a candlelit ceremony on New Year’s Day in the Thai resort of Phuket.

Moss was spotted driving a Jeep in Phuket late last week and Doherty arrived in the country over the weekend. A source tells PEOPLE that on Monday the couple sent text messages to pals in Britain wishing them a happy New Year, but did not mention a wedding.

Since meeting at her birthday party in January 2005, the couple have had a turbulent relationship marked by Doherty’s repeated arrests for drug possession and Moss’s rehab stint after photographs were published of her snorting a white powder in a London recording studio.

I guess it’s possible that one gossip rag ran some fake details and all the others picked it up, but I’m still thinking that something went down. Still, those British rags make up a lot and I wouldn’t put it past them. It would be a big mistake for Kate to marry Pete, so if they did have some sort of ceremony it seems likely that her PR person would deny it like this. Who knows what to think.

Nicole Richie is moving quickly with her new boyfriend, Hillary Duff’s ex Joel Madden of the band Good Charlotte. Joel’s twin brother and bandmate Benji Madden lives right next to him and is said to be annoyed that Nicole is staying over at his brother’s house all the time and plans to move in:

Nicole and Joel seem to be moving rather quickly and not everyone’s a fan. We know Hilary thinks Nicole is a “skank” and now it seems as if Joel’s BFF and brother Benji does not like his new lady either. The problem is, they may already be moving in together.

Sources close to Richie say she is “moving stuff out of her West Hollywood condo into his Glendale home,” and Joel’s bandmate, brother, and next-door neighbor Benji is “furious.” The source also said Joel and Nicole “have already become inseparable, and spend almost every night together.

It seems Benji might be too busy with his personal life to worry too much about his brother. He just announced that he is engaged to cute Australian actress Sophie Monk. He proposed to her while they were staying in Australia for New Years. Unlike Benji, Joel is said to approve of his brother’s choice in women and is quoted as saying “She’s so cool. I hang out with her, we have a great time.”

Joel and Nicole spent New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas, where Joel hosted a bash at Ghostbar at The Palms Casino. They were photographed kissing and cuddling during the party. Pictures from Flynet Online.

Dr. Drew Pinsky from the radio show Loveline and his partner psychologist Mark Young had 200 celebrities that appeared on their show fill out a psychological questionnaire called The Narcissism Personality Inventory. The results show that celebrities really are more full of themselves than the average person. They’re more concerned about their appearance and have an inflated sense of self importance. The less real life skills they have, the more likely they are to be off the charts narcissism-wise.

Two Los Angeles psychologists have produced the first scientific evidence that many celebrities sincerely believe that they are better than the rest of us. The psychologists’ forthcoming book suggests that many pop culture icons are heading for disaster.

Mark Young and Drew Pinsky used a mathematical formula to measure the traits, including exhibitionism and vanity, that make up narcissism. Psychologists believe that in general men are both bossier than women and show off more. However, in the “celebrity class” women are far more narcissistic than men and up to a third are more manipulative and vain about their appearance than the typical woman in the street, according to the psychologists from the University of Southern California.

Young and Pinsky have had rare access: celebrities queue up to appear on Loveline, Pinsky’s nationally syndicated radio show, where he has been compared to Professor Anthony Clare, the BBC psychiatrist, for his revealing interviewing style.

They asked 200 celebrities who appeared on the programme to fill out a standard questionnaire called the Narcissism Personality Inventory. They were asked how they felt about themselves, including whether they felt they deserved compliments or were embarrassed by them and whether they insisted on being “respected” at all times.

Participants remain anonymous but interviewees featured on Pinsky’s website include Renée Zellweger, Jessica Simpson, Jim Carrey and members of Duran Duran, the British pop band.

“It was people like that — actors, comedians, musicians and reality TV contestants — who emerged as the most narcissistic of all,” said Pinsky. “The fewer real-life skills they had, the louder they tend to be in their attempts to hold on to attention.”

The article goes on to say that crotch-baring may be a sign of their extreme narcissism. People who are full of themselves “crave attention, are over-confident… lack empathy and can behave erratically,” but are often charming in person.

Keep in mind that Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears never went to college. Paris Hilton has a GED, Lindsay Lohan graduated from high school on Long Island, and Britney Spears was home-schooled and attended a performing arts school. I cannot figure out if she earned any kind of degree. Nicole Richie attended college for two years at the University of Arizona but didn’t earn an associates as far as I could tell. What kind of jobs could these women get if they were forced to fend for themselves like average people? I have a feeling Paris might do well out of sheer persistence.

It’s not surprising that celebrities are full of themselves. Is that a symptom or a cause of their fame or a bit of both? Why bother to learn anything else when you can earn big bucks just by showing up and being yourself?

Ok, she didn’t really say that, but I’m not an Oprah fan so you’ll forgive me for spinning the title. Oprah spent $40 million on the “Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls” in South Africa. She hand picked 152 students from among the 3,500 applications she received. When asked why she didn’t build a big school in the US for the kids that need help at home, she said that they wanted material stuff instead so screw ‘em.

But the talk show queen is ticked that people aren’t appreciating her generosity, and says Americans would just waste a golden opportunity to get a good education at her expense. “I became so frustrated with visiting inner-city schools [in the U.S.],” she tells Newsweek. “If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don’t ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school.” But that didn’t stop Oprah from including a yoga studio and beauty salon in the plush girls’ school.

Doesn’t Oprah contribute to our materialist culture with crap like her “favorite things” and “most expensive shit” shows? I’ve seen her fawning over handbags and acting like it’s heaven to taste thousands of dollars worth of chocolate on her show. Who is she to complain?

- Brad and Angelina toured the Panama canal. Angelina strikes a pose that shows that she’s probably off the charts on that narcissism poll too. [CelebWarship]
- Mr. and Mrs. Smith will be turned into a TV show on the USA Network, but there’s no word as to who will be playing Brad and Angie’s parts [ICYDK]
- The Bastardly lady of the day claims to be a bisexual virgin [Bastardly]
- Did Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz finally break up? [I’m Not Obsessed]
- Nicole Kidman told photographers to fuck off before she left Australia [Socialite’s Life]
- Vanessa Minnillo said the “f” word on live TV. Wonder how much that will cost MTV? [Best Week Ever]
- K-Fed got body checked by John Cena of the WWE [Faded Youth]
- Fergie still thinks the Catholic schoolgirl look is sexy [Metadish]
- Christina Aguilera and her husband Jordan Bratman make out on New Year’s to show everyone that their marriage is fine [Mollygood]
- Top 5 celebrity babes of 2006 [Popoholic]
- Keanu Reeves always wears the same thing [CityRag]
- A Russian billionaire paid George Michael $3 million to perform at his New Year’s Eve party [DListed]
- Jessica Alba’s bikini-clad ass [Hollywood Tuna]
- Paris Hilton picks out the bikini babe to represent an Australia beer [Egotastic]
- Steve O says he’s giving up drugs this year [Hollyscoop]
- Reese Witherspoon looks pretty good lately [Just Jared]
- Sean Astin and his cute daughters [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

Kid Rock took a bunch of his estranged wife Pamela Anderson’s friends to Hawaii in early December, and ever-reliable source The Globe reports that they gossiped about Pam during the vacation. They claim that Rock suspects that Pam faked her brief pregnancy, which ended in a miscarriage while she was filming Blonde and Blonder in Canada with Denise Richards. A supposed source says that Pam is “devastated” and thinks that Rock is trying to win her friends over to his side:

A source tells me that in early December, Kid sent his soon-to-be-ex a beautiful bouquet of flowers to let her know that he still loves her. Then days later, he whisked a bunch of her close pals, including L.A. socialite Diana Jenkins… David Space, and… Cindy Crawford and her hubby… to Hawaii for a U2/Pearl Jam concert and put them up at the luxurious Halekulani Hotel in Waikiki, where they dished the dirt - mostly about Pam! “Among other things, the Gang discussed Kid’s suspicions that Pam faked her pregnancy, her hard-partying ways and stupidity for not signing a prenup,” says the insider. “Needless to say, Pam is absolutely devastated. She believes that Kid is trying to influence her friends and turn them all against her. She feels deserted, as well. She especially doesn’t like the way Diana, who served as one of her two bridesmaids during her wedding bash in St. Tropez, has jumped in and started cozying up to Kid. it is a real slap in the face to her - and the ultimate betrayal.”

[From Globe print edition January 7, 2007]

Pam struck out at Kid’s earlier claim that she was partying and neglecting her two children during their brief marriage. She said that he was lying when he claimed that she was out drinking every night, and that it was Rock that was away from home while she watched his son.

Both Pam and Kid Rock hosted parties in Las Vegas for New Years. Pam was at Tao at the Venetian and was seen getting cozy with Chuck Zito. Rock was at Jet at the Mirage.

Pictures of Pam on New Year’s Eve are from Splash News.