I don’t know why so many of you seem to have abandoned poor Adrien Brody! Just a few years ago, an Adrien Brody post would draw a significant number of ladies who would get all sigh-y and lovesick for his crazy nose and sad eyes. But when I wrote about Adrien last week, most of you were like “meh.” Is it because many of the Brody fan-girls have had a “come to Jesus” moment and you realize he’s kind of sleazy and d-baggy? Or is it because he has a girlfriend now?

These are pics of Adrien with his girlfriend Lara Lieto at last night’s GQ ‘Man Of The Year’ awards in Madrid, Spain. Does anyone else think it’s weird that no one ever says how old this girl is? She looks really young. My guess is that she’s under the age of 25, probably closer to 20, but I can’t find any proof or citation anywhere of her actual age. And Adrien is 39 years old. And he still poses like a d-bag.

But really, I’m writing about these photos because of Lara Lieto’s hair!!! LOOK AT IT. That is some long-ass hair. Is it her own? I honestly don’t think those are extensions – I think it’s her real hair? Is that naïve? Now, I’ve had long hair most of my life. I think the longest I’ve ever worn my hair is probably just above my natural waist. And you know what? That’s too long. When you wear your hair that long, it’s a mess of split and damaged ends. You feel literally and figuratively weighed down. Right now I have my hair in my standard zone, to my bra clasp. That’s what I think of as “the long-hair zone” – anything around that area. Anything beyond that area, and people think you’re wearing extensions or you just look like this – like “OMG, WTF?”

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

These are some new photos of Adrien Brody at the Rome Film Festival, where he was promoting his new film Back to 1942. It feels like it’s been a really long time since I’ve had anything to say about Adrien… he really does seem to be keeping a lower profile these days? Or am I just imagining that? Like, he was all over the place at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, but that was the last time I really remember hearing anything about him. He’s a Best Actor Oscar winner, for God’s sake. You’d think he would be able to drum up some casual interest, right?

Maybe part of the reason Adrien isn’t getting so much attention these days is because his career is in the toilet he has a new-ish girlfriend. Her name is Lara Lieto, and she’s a model. They’ve been dating for… I don’t know. They were together at Cannes, so I’d say they’ve been together for most of the year at least. I think she wants to marry him, don’t you? Girl is wearing a fancy wedding dress on the red carpet of his premiere. She wants to marry him and have his tall, rangy, big-nosed babies.

I think I have another reason for kind of ignoring Adrien… I’m just not that into him. I’ve made the mistake of making fun of him before, only to be told off by his devoted fan-girls. He’s just not my jam, you know? I do like tall men with dark hair, but there’s something about him that’s off-putting. Although these photos are giving me a strong dose of douche, I will say that he looks better now than he used to. I’m glad he shaved off that d-baggy facial hair. I do think he could go for a more conservative dress style, though. The booties with the shiny stuff on his jacket? Rough. So… I would still not hit it. But I wouldn’t dismiss it out of hand, because he is looking better than before.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I don’t even have words for much I enjoy Ed Westwick. I actually squealed a little when I saw these new photos of him. He was at some hotel opening or something, and he decided to clothe his smarmy, furry fabulousness in a very loud, plaid suit.

I love his hair. All of it, from the hair on his head to his absolutely perfect five o’clock shadow (that he maintains beautifully, to the point where it would be easier to just simply SHAVE), to his furry chest, which is now under wraps. I love that Ed seems in on the joke – he’s British, he loves fashion, he’s furry, he’s fabulous, he pouts, he’s beautiful. He is impossible! I feel like writing him a poem. You know what? He would have done SO WELL in the 1980s. In the ‘80s, he would have been a major star. Can’t you see it? I can see it. Ed in a neon polo shirt, trash-talking a hat-wearing Molly Ringwald. SCENE!

Meanwhile, I don’t have words for how much I dislike Adrien Brody, who was at this same event. Look how douchey he seems! Ugh. He’s wearing the hat I envision on Molly Ringwald! He’s so gross. I just feel like he’s too smirky, too greasy, too… ick. How can “smarmy” in Ed Westwick be so erotic, and “smarmy” in Adrien Brody just be… gross?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These are photos of Chloe Sevigny at last night’s Chanel-sponsored Tribece Film Festival Artists Dinner. I don’t think Chloe is wearing Chanel, though. At least… yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not Chanel. Chanel does have some doily couture, but it doesn’t look like this for the most part. As for how Chloe looked overall… well, I know many fashion editors consider her high-fashion. I don’t. I think she’s almost always a hot mess. It’s not even that I always hate what she’s wearing… sometimes she wears interesting clothes. It’s her face. It’s her styling. It’s that she paired what is basically a huge, ugly doily with S&M booties, greasy hair and trashy-looking orange-red lipstick (what is it with the orange-red today?). It’s just a horrible look overall.

By the way, as I was looking to see if Chloe has been up to anything, I saw this piece from Faded Youth. They say several interesting pieces of info. First, Zoe Kravitz was also at this dinner, but there’s no mention of Zoe’s alleged boyfriend Michael Fassbender. Zoe is on the Tribeca Film Festival jury, and obviously, she’s flying solo to a lot of events. But it makes me wonder… are Zoe and Michael over? Discuss. In addition to that little side-step, Faded Youth (quoting a report from Star Mag) claims that Chloe has been dating (ish) a dude named Charlie Smith. I don’t know who he is, but apparently he’s a friend of Spencer Pratt, and he was on The Hills? Here are some gross photos of him. So, according to Faded Youth/Star, at an event a few weeks ago in California, “Chloe and Charlie arrived together, and though she was one of the event’s hosts, she spent most of her time wrapped up in him. She was beaming.” Whatev.

One more thing – Chloe teamed up with Kiehl’s for a limited edition skin thing. You can read about it here. Here’s a question – if you were a skin care company, would you want Chloe anywhere near your brand?

Last thing – Adrien Brody was also at the event. I actually like his beard! But he still looks like a massive douche to me.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Oh, Jennifer Aniston… why do you do this to yourself? Scratch that. Why do you do this to us? So it seems like the big rumor making the rounds is that Jennifer Aniston and Adrien Brody have been rubbing all over each other lately. This has not been confirmed or denied, and from my insubstantial digging, everybody seems to be sourcing a report from Showbiz Spy, who claimed to be quoting from The Enquirer. I read the Enquirer every week – and I don’t remember this story, neither does CB. Which makes me wonder where this rumor really did originate.

But all of that is a discussion for another time… Adrien and Aniston. What do you think? He’s a 37 year old Oscar winner, and he hangs out with Gerard Butler and Paris Hilton (not all at once). Aniston is 41 years old, an Emmy winner, and she hangs out with people like Chelsea Handler and Joe Francis. They both should be somehow above their douchey associations, and yet, they’re not. Somehow, they kind of make sense together. Here’s a happy thought: imagine Adrien’s “soul patch” going follicle for follicle with Aniston’s crowning glory. Ah, good times.

JENNIFER Aniston has a crush on actor Adrien Brody. Aniston — who’s divorced from Brad Pitt – apparently got cozy with Brody at a recent Christmas bash.

“Jen and Adrien were flirting with each other outrageously — you could totally tell that they’re an item,” a source told American tabloid the National Enquirer. “At one point, Adrien was leading Jen away in hand. She was rubbing her hands down his back and gazing into his eyes like she was totally smitten. Jen is definitely very taken by Adrien, who has been a close acquaintance of hers for a long time.”

“He’s a charming, intelligent guy who has no pretensions about him whatsoever, so Jen always feels at ease in his company. And besides the fact he isn’t insecure about her success, she loves the dangerous, edgy side to him. He exudes this rugged sex appeal that Jen gravitates towards. But she needs to be careful.”

Meanwhile, it’s been claimed that Aniston’s new perfume isn’t doing very well.

“Jen chose her perfume. But other than launching it at Harrods in London, she’s done no promotion,” a source told Britain’s Now magazine. “No-one knew where to find it and now everyone’s lost interest. The people behind the scent are bound to be disappointed. They can’t figure out why no-one wants to smell like Jen. Marketing shows most people believe Jen smells ‘natural and clean’, which is the opposite of why you’d buy a perfume, so maybe that’s it.”

[From Showbiz Spy]

“He exudes this rugged sex appeal that Jen gravitates towards. But she needs to be careful.” First of all – Adrien wears Ed Hardy. And he has a soul patch. His sex appeal is not “rugged” it’s “douche supreme”. Second of all, “she needs to be careful”? Really? Even some suspiciously well-placed source promoting this new boyfriend has to emphasize the pity party, like she’s a vulnerable little girl? Please. She’s 41 years old, and she likes to get laid, and she likes to screw the most high profile guy she can get. She’s not a trembling, delicate flower.

Anyway, LaineyGossip has a rundown on how she thinks this is going to play out. It’s kind of funny:

Jen’s next film Just Go With It, alongside Adam Sandler, opens in February.

Here’s what a roll-out (for the movie and the relationship) might look like:

* Aniston and Sandler present at an awards show (perhaps the Globes) to kick off promotion for Just Go With It. The Brange is there too. They successfully avoid each other and she’s “seen” with Brody at an afterparty by a People Magazine “exclusive source”. No photos yet.

* Two days later, Jen and Adrien go out for dinner at the Sunset Tower. One blurry (but you know it’s them) shot of them leaving the restaurant makes headline news. 3 out of 6 tabloids put her new romance on their covers.

* The next weekend, Jen hits up Mexico for a quick tanning trip before heavy travel begins on the Just Go With It press tour. Long lens paps shoot her and Adrien embracing on the patio of her resort. Her ass is primes. His abs are tight.

* Brody is seen sneaking into the LA premiere of Just Go With It.

* Just Go With It opens. Solid numbers.

* Both Jen and Adrien are invited to present at the Oscars on February 27th. They arrive separately at the Kodak, but show up at the Vanity Fair afterparty together holding hands. No one cares the next morning who won or lost. It’s all Jen’s New Love all over.

* Adrien books a new movie.

Let’s see how this plays out.

[From LaineyGossip]

I think there will be some variations on this one, actually. You know that Adrien and Gerard Butler are tight, right? Adrien might be better at following orders then Gerard (if you remember, Gerard seemed to be fighting against the studio/publicity campaign to make he and Aniston a couple, especially towards the end of the Bounty Hunter tour). Will Gerard “warn” Adrien? Eh.

And I honestly get the feeling that Aniston is really trying to change up her game a little bit so she’s not so predictable. Will she come to the Globes when she‘s not even nominated? Eh. Is it worth the trouble to ask her to present? Didn’t that game already get played… when was it? Last year? And the year before, at the Oscars. Do a more original rollout, Aniston. Move out of your comfort zone.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

So I just wanted to use these photos of Adrien and Gerard. They’re both good, for different reasons. You know, I used to like Adrien. I used to root for him and think he was wonderful. Not so much anymore, and it’s photos like this that make me ashamed I ever liked him. Does he look hideous? Of course not. But the combination of the neckerchief and the facial hair and general demeanor just screams “DOUCHE” to me. Plus, he’s attending a film festival in Kazakhstan, which doesn’t say winner to me. But who am I to judge?

Next, we have Gerard Butler’s lovely sweet moobs being nice to fans on the set of Machine Gun Preacher in Michigan. I scanned through a couple of Michigan sites, and it seems like Gerard is getting good reviews, being nice to the locals and asking a lot of questions about where to go to eat (my vadge?). I haven’t heard anything about a romance yet, but you know Gerard likes to have a piece while he’s working, so Michigan sluts, start your vadges. Gerard’s in town and he has basically no standards. I imagine him trolling for strange in the lonely Detroit nights and wondering why he can’t ever find me. BECAUSE I’M IN VIRGINIA, GERRY.

I bet this girl is pregnant now:

So – who would you rather? Gerard’s moobs ‘n mullet, or Adrien’s f-cked up neckerchief?

Adrien on July 14, 2010. Credit: WENN.

About a month ago, January Jones was spotted at the same party with Adrien Brody. Rumor was that they had started a little something on the downlow, although the “downlow” aspect was a little strange because they were both single and both could have benefited from a hot hookup rumor. Anyway, less than two weeks after that one party, January Jones allegedly got hammered and not-so-allegedly plowed into a series of parked cars. And who did she call for help? Not Adrien. She called Bobby Flay, married dude. It was a matter of days before tabloids ran with the story that January and Bobby were having some kind of affair, and the Adrien rumors got shelved temporarily. Until now! Us Weekly’s “insider” source claims that Adrien and January are still totally dating. And their insider is called “Holy sh-t people figured out I was f-cking Bobby, now, I can’t… damn it… push the Adrien story, sh-t, don’t use my name okay?”

Romance under wraps!

Adrien Brody denied reports that he was dating Mad Men’s January Jones, calling her “a friend,” this spring. But a source tells Us Weekly that Brody, 37, has fallen hard for Jones, 32 (who has dated Ashton Kutcher and Josh Groban, and has been linked to Jeremy Piven).

“Adrien loves talking about January,” says the insider. “He says, ‘We’re dating. We’re really happy!’” (The secret couple was recently spotted at NYC’s Rose Bar.)

Still, the Splice actor didn’t look too attached at L.A.’s Omega Constellation Launch June 26. “He was flirting with girls,” says a source. “He was partying hard.”

[From Us Weekly]

Sounds like Adrien hit it and quit it, and is currently douching it up with fan girls who like Ed Hardy, baggy leather jumpsuits and sadness. Sounds like Bobby Flay hit it and quit it too – even the tabloids made it sound like a very casual fling, and likely one of many that Bobby has had over the years. Star Magazine claimed that he and January had some drinks, flirted, then went up to his hotel room for a few hours, and that “Bobby has a gorgeous wife, but he just can’t seem to help himself when it comes to hot young women!” Ugh. Let’s try this again, January. You’re a beautiful woman and a somewhat talented actress, let’s find someone interesting for you, mmkay?

We’ve said it before – Adrien Brody is no longer cool, if he ever was. Between his leather lounge suits and his sketchy facial hair and his general douchey demeanor, Adrien became a joke. His career is kind of in the toilet too. Evidence: he’s part of the ensemble of some terrible-looking sci-fi/horror movie called Splice, that looks like a budget version of Species/The Relic/The X-Files/some other movies. Last night was the premiere in LA. And Adrien’s doucheface was in full effect. Seriously, the cheesy, “I’m so cool” expressions were flowing like wine. The motherf-cker was even wearing a limp little cravat!

For some reason, two Hollywood power players also attended the Splice premiere. One was producer Joel Silver, who probably produced Splice, and I’m just too lazy to look it up. But he’s a good person to have in your corner. Also there? Robert Downey Jr.! When did RDJ and Adrien become friends? Why is RDJ looking out for Adrien?

They look thick as thieves. What do you think RDJ is saying to him? “This too shall pass, brother. Get yourself some supporting actor work on good films, then work your way up to leading man status. I call it the ten-year plan. Oh, and lose the f-cking cravat.”

Here’s the trailer for Splice, if you care. This sh-t looks horrible.

Splice premiere in LA on June 2, 2010. Credit: WENN.

You know what I enjoy? I enjoy the fact that the British people seem to be in love with one of my favorite American shows, Mad Men. The British papers are always making Mad Men references, and the stars of Mad Men do lots of press in the UK when a new season is about to premiere. January Jones and Jon Hamm in particular have a new-found international stardom because of the show, and as such, they now have international gossips guessing about their relationships. Jon Hamm probably gets it easier – he’s been in a long-term relationship with Jennifer Westfeldt, and he plays his personal life close to the vest. January Jones, on the other hand, is single and dating. Her previous boyfriends have included Ashton Kutcher and Josh Grobin. She was also rumored to be hittin’ it with Jeremy “The Piv” Piven. And now the British tabloid The Daily Mail thinks January is boning Adrien Brody. The evidence? They were at the same party and they didn’t leave together. Scandal!

Actress January Jones is one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelorettes. But not for long if reports of a romance with Oscar winner Adrien Brody are to be believed. The pair were both seen at a Memorial Day beach party in Malibu yesterday. But if there is any romance, they appear to be keen to keep it under wraps for now.

January, who plays bored and beautiful housewife Betty Draper in hit TV show Mad Men, looked cool and casual in a tribal print sundress, trilby and sandals. While Oscar winner Adrien upped the macho quota by wearing motorbike leathers as he arrived and departed on his bike.

January, 32, who has dated Ashton Kutcher, singer Josh Groban, and Entourage actor Jeremy Piven, has never been married. While Brody, 37, ended his relationship to actress Elsa Pataky last May.

The pair were first seen enjoying a romantic night out together at New York’s Rose bar. A source told US magazine Life & Style: ‘Brody and Jones were flirting with each other. They held hands in full view of everyone.’

So their appearance at the same party in Malibu was probably less than coincidental. Other guests at the bash included Gwen Stefani’s husband Gavin Rossdale, Kate Beckinsale and Robert Downey Jr.

Brody is waiting for the release of his new film Predators. And as well as reprising her role in Mad Men, January will appear alongside Nicolas Cage in 2011′s The Hungry Rabbit Jumps.

Her bad experience of dating actors in the past hasn’t put her off. January said she owes her acting success to ex-boyfriend Kutcher – because she was determined to prove him wrong after the actor urged her to quit. The pair met and dated while Jones was working as a model and attempting to break into Hollywood.

And the Golden Globe-nominated actress claims Kutcher, who is now married to Demi Moore, advised her to give up her dream and stick to the catwalk. January told GQ magazine: ‘I should thank him. The minute you tell me I can’t do something, that’s when I’m most motivated.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Honestly, looking at January’s dating history, I really don’t think she has the best taste in men. But I might think that because I’m so in love with seeing her act opposite Jon Hamm – I want her to find someone smart and handsome and chiseled so she can delicately act with him in well-written interiors with pregnant pauses. So, January and Adrien? Eh. They probably are dating, but I doubt it’s anything serious. Plus, she hasn’t been able to do anything about his gross-looking facial hair. Verdict: She doesn’t bring out the best in him.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News, January & Adrien on May 31, 2010 in Malibu.

I put this Dlisted post in the links yesterday because we don’t have access to the photos – Adrien Brody making kissy-faces with Paris Hilton. Is your crush over now? I asked this less than a month ago – “Was Adrien Brody ever cool?” Y’all can officially be over him now, right? And if the Paris thing wasn’t enough, how about this sight, of Adrien promoting himself in Cannes – wearing a shiny brown leather (pleather?!?) suit. Gross. Disgusting. Totally f-cking K-Fed. What’s worse is that I actually think Brody probably thinks it’s so anti-fashion, it’s cool. It’s not.

There were some other notable (and notably bad) fashion choices in Cannes. Like little Rachel Bilson, who needs a new f-cking stylist:

Guess who thinks she’s high-fashion, y’all? La Beckinsale. Easter egg sack.

Mischa Barton lost some weight and is back to doing the “I’m emaciated and I’m in a sack” style. It wouldn’t be so bad, except for the corpsey makeup and styling.

Seriously, what is going to take to get Elizabeth Banks a new stylist? She’s so cute, and her style is always unbelievably horrid.

Sorry they were all bad fashion statements today! For more photos from Cannes, Pop Sugar has a good slideshow. Emily Brunt actually looks amazing in Cannes, I just didn’t feel like putting her up.

Header: Adrien in Cannes on May 19, 2010. Credit: WENN.