These are photos of Lady Gaga and Donatella Versace in Milan yesterday. They went to dinner, and then Gaga changed wigs and she and Donatella posed for some photos on some kind of balcony, both of them looking like they were the reanimated corpse of Eva Peron. Gaga’s puppy Fozzi joined them on the balcony. Donatella and Gaga are pretty tight – Donatella notably opened up Versace’s 1980s archives for Gaga last year, to mixed/awful results.

Anyway, remember Lady Gaga’s “body revolution” and how she was trying to show the world that they should be proud of how they look by taking photos of herself from a high, flattering angle while she sucked in her stomach? Well, I thought the whole “Gaga is a spokeswoman for positive body image” thing was a load of bulls—t, but even I had to admit that there were some positive things that came out of it, mostly IN SPITE of Gaga’s narcissism and perpetual famewhoring. But Gaga is still feeling the sting of being called “fat” by a couple of UK tabloids. So she spoke about this complicated issue in a measured, intelligent way without the use of straw-man arguments, and that did not involve an air of self-martyrdom or self-aggrandizing. Just kidding, Lady Gaga pretty much got on the cross and threw a giant, self-involved pity party.

In case you missed it, she says, “They won’t kill me. They won’t stop me from speaking my mind. I will make music for you for the next 30 years. You know, so for like, let’s cheers. Let’s celebrate. To 30 more years of them calling me a sl*t. To 30 more years of them calling me a fat, attention-seeking wh*re. To 30 more years of people telling me to shut my mouth about equality and gay rights. May we say cheers and celebrate 30 more years of the conversation that we’ve started that we’re never gonna finish.” FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Does someone else want to take the analysis of this one? Because this bitch exhausts me. My only argument at this point is, “Okay, but why didn’t you say any of this when your fans were calling Adele fat?”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

“GOLLUM!!!!” *throws salt, wields crucifix*

Donatella Versace has a wonderful new interview with The Telegraph (UK) to promote the autumn/winter Versace line which debuted in Milan this week. You should read the full interview – go here. I’m going to do some highlights because, well, I kind of love Donatella. It’s the same kind of love I have for Karl Lagerfeld – when you get to a certain point in the fashion industry, you are always going to be flat-out INSANE. Donatella is incredibly quotable, interesting, kind, blasé, funny and yes, cray-cray. I love her. The highlights:

Being 57 years old and “keeping young”: “How do I keep young?” she growls in a dust-bowl of an accent so thick it sometimes requires subtitles. “Haven’t you heard? I sleep every night in the deep freezer!”

Her “armor”: The flaxen, waist-length extensions, the fake lashes, the Botox (“only on my face, not on my body, that’s the result of hard work”) and stormy expressions – is a front she has been cultivating ever since, aged 11, her big brother Gianni goaded her to peroxide her hair.

She’s BFFs with Miuccia Prada: “It surprises me,” she retorts. They first met in Milan, “at some event, somewhere… I made a joke and she started to laugh and she said let’s go and get some paninis because we’re starving… and off we went. We just talk, talk, talk. She’s so inspiring. We make fun of each other and teach each other. She says, ‘I could never make sexy clothes, but I love them.’ And I say, ‘Well, I love what you do’.”

On feminism: Miuccia Prada recently told me, dejectedly, that feminism was dead in Italy. Does Donatella agree? “Feminism is dead in the world. It comes from another time. I’m a feminist. I want to fight, but I don’t see many people with this desire to fight for something. Women don’t help each other, especially in fashion. I know Miuccia… but that’s it. Nobody else.”

Living up to her brother Gianni: “You’re right,” she says. “I’ve always been hard on myself. I still am. In order to be responsible you need some discipline in your life. For a while I lost mine. But I’ve got it back now. Maybe a bit too much… I’m so disciplined. I’m so on time. What happened to me?”

How discipline works for Donatella: It means working out four times a week (“not in fresh air, I’m not going to pretend I’m a country girl”), rather than giving up smoking. She has cut down – just one packet a day, for which she has created a special cover so that she doesn’t have to keep looking at the Smoking Kills message. Less predictably, she says she loves reading historical biographies – her current book is on Queen Victoria. She tried reading Fifty Shades of Grey , the erotic mega bestseller, but found it too badly written to finish. Actually, she is surprisingly old-fashioned – especially where her children are concerned: “I think there was a time when I was too strict and controlling,” she admits. “I think I asphyxiated my children.”

Her daughter, Allegra: Allegra, her 24-year-old daughter who inherited 50 per cent of the company and who, Donatella says, plays Saffy (the sensible daughter in Ab Fab) to her Eddie, now works in the family business, researching textiles, having previously turned her back on it to act. “I’ve been surprised by her concentration and determination,” says her mother.

Her son: Daniel, her 20-year-old son, is a rock musician living in London. “He’s recording right now. He’s always in the studio but he never lets me listen. He’s very private. He doesn’t want to be recognised as my son. Not that Allegra listens to me, either. Neither of my children listens to me,” she sighs contentedly.

On working with Lady Gaga: Oddly, the two events that proved most restorative were her recent collaborations with Lady Gaga, who is something of a DV doppelgänger in looks as well as spirit, and the high street chain H&M. The former had personally requested that Donatella dress her. “We opened the archives and she was, like, wow, and then I designed some pieces for her and she went crazy.”

Following her instincts: “After Gianni died all these experts kept telling me what would sell and what wouldn’t. After a while I realised nobody knows. He always said, you have to follow your instincts. There was no ‘safe’ with Gianni. He wasn’t a safe person. He kept telling me not to be afraid of anything.”

On family: “Family…” she breaks off. This is the real key to her revival. “You do what you can for them. They don’t listen,” she shrugs. “But if they did they’d be telling me that the most important things in life are strength, determination, loyalty and never giving up. You have to fight for everything.”

[Via The Telegraph]

So much to love! She get Botox “only on my face, not on my body, that’s the result of hard work.” AMAZING. She’ll work out four times a week (but not in fresh air!) but she won’t give up smoking. She’s a feminist who thinks feminism is dead. I kind of want to marry her. She’s wonderful.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Apparently the NY Daily News wanted to run a photo feature showing “real” NY women, young college graduates, modeling clothing from Donatella Versace’s new line for H&M. Unlike Versace’s couture clothing, this line comes in all sizes and is somewhat affordable. Well a spokesperson for H&M told the News that Versace probably wouldn’t approve of “real” (read: larger than size 4) women wearing even her H&M line for any kind of photo shoot, even a casual one like this, and they were right. Most of the models were rejected for not fitting Versace’s “branding.” Again, this was her line for H&M and it was just a photo feature in a newspaper. Give me a break.

After the Daily News arranged for real NYC women to be photographed wearing looks from the Italian designer’s Versace for H&M line, a rep for the Swedish clothing company canceled the shoot on Friday.

Apparently, “real” doesn’t work for the 56-year-old bottle-blond designer with the bee-stung lips.

The H&M publicist initially explained by email that the “Model New Yorkers” photo feature could probably not go forward because Versace had to approve “anyone who wears the collection for press” — and, she added, “Donatella will likely not approve shooting the collection on real women.”

She was right. When the Daily News writer organizing the shoot sent the publicist photos of two of the three women he wanted to use — all recent college graduates who work in the city — the answer came back that only one was acceptable.

When the News writer asked for an explanation, he was told the woman who was rejected “doesn’t fit [Versace’s] branding.”

That might make sense if the clothes involved were from Versace’s full-priced designer collections, where a metallic brushed-leather biker jacket goes for $5,825 and a wool crepe cut-out dress fetches $2,425.

But one reason designers work with H&M is to make their designs accessible — and affordable — to a less-exclusive crowd. Previous fashion designers who’ve worked with H&M in this way include Chanel’s Karl Lagerfeld and Stella McCartney.

“The H&M customer is anyone interested in fashion,” the company’s U.S. public relations manager, Jennifer Ward, told the retail-shopping website Westfield.com this fall. “There is something for every age and personality.”

Versace’s designs for H&M reflect this perspective. Although there are some pricier items — such as a $249 metallic party dress — the line includes a $29.99 pair of leggings that feature a jungle print similar to the famous plunging dress that Jennifer Lopez wore to the 2000 Grammys.

Versace previewed her limited-edition H&M line at a party and fashion show at Pier 57 on Nov. 8. Although she used the kind of stick-thin models who don’t resemble typical NYC consumers, the designer told CBSNews.com that she understood the H&M consumer.

“I know this customer,” she said. “I know what they want.”

Now if only she didn’t mind them actually wearing her clothing.

By the way, we’ve decided to stick with our real New York models. Instead of Versace for H&M, they’ll be wearing their own holiday cocktail outfits in the photo feature, which will run on Thursday.

[From The NY Daily News]

When I first read this I thought that the News might have arranged this photo shoot using clothing by Versace for H&M because they knew it would get shut down. They may have done that, but even it it was a set up they still convincingly proved their point. Why have a high fashion line put out something for H&M if they don’t want to be associated with anything but very rich, stick thin women? It’s elitist. It’s like they think it’s fine to take money from the masses, but they still don’t want to be associated with them in any way.

Here are some of the Versace for H&M pieces. They’ll probably sell out quickly and Versace knows this. She can continue to be a scary, haughty bitch because it’s not going to affect her bottom line at all. Some of these looks are hideous, right? I like the studded leather jacket, though, and that sequin dress is cute. They probably look cheap in person, though. I’m sure a photoshoot with a magazine would reveal that the clothes look crappy as well. The H&M people should have made up some excuse about making sure the clothing is photographed properly instead of insisting on choosing super thin models.

Donatella is shown with her daughter, Allegra, on 11/8/11. Allegra has battled anorexia.

This is kind of a convoluted story, but it has some good parts. Where to start? Okay, remember how Lady Gaga flashed her boobs when she won the CFDA’s “Style Icon” Award a few weeks ago? We didn’t use any of the Gaga Tit photos, but they were all over the place, and you get the idea. Well, the New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn took Gaga to task for Gaga’s usage of vintage Versace. Apparently, Donatella Versace opened up the Versace archives, so that Gaga could wear vintage Versace to the CFDA gala AND in the music video for “Edge of Glory”. I didn’t know that the costumes in that video were vintage Versace, but it makes sense, given how friggin’ dated and “Totally ’80s” that whole video seemed. Here’s part of what NYT critic Cathy Horyn wrote:

In a week, I told myself, Lady Gaga’s vintage Versace studs (seen in her new “Edge of Glory” video) will be history. If that. “Never be afraid to dream,” she tweeted to her followers, but I had already unfollowed, like a skiff breaking from its moorings. Goodbye!

….As funny and as fresh as Gaga was in her speech at the recent C.F.D.A. awards, she looked embalmed in the black Versace harness (apparently from Gianni Versace’s final collection), and I don’t know why Donatella Versace said she was honored by Gaga’s selection, unless, of course, she thought she had to say something nice about the superstar. But a D.O.A. video doesn’t help the House of Versace. Be choosier, Ms. Versace.

[From The NYT]

Oooooh, snap (was that too dated as well?). I agree with Horyn’s point about Gaga looking “embalmed” and I completely cosign her criticism of Donatella Versace opening the Versace archives. I mean, it’s not like Gaga is Madonna! Remember when Madonna and (Gianni) Versace went together like drag queens and lipstick? I remember. For a large chunk of time, Madge only wore Gaultier and Versace, it seemed. Those were good years, and Madonna sincerely changed the fashion industry. You’d think that Gaga would be more conscious of it, then. She probably figures that her monsters won’t even remember Madonna’s contributions to fashion.

Here’s the vintage Versace in “Edge of Glory”:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

God, I really, really hate Sienna Miller’s dress. She wore this cream/champagne gown from the Stella McCartney Pre-Fall 2010 collection to an UNESCO gala in Germany over the weekend, and I’m finding it so unflattering. I’ve said before that I don’t really care for Sienna’s fashion most of the time, and I’ve never really understood why she’s considered a style icon, but usually her choices are much more flattering than this. It just ages her – she looks like a contemporary to Joan Collins! The gown veers to the 1980s too, and not in a trendy way. In a “let’s throw on a high-neckline sparkly gown and toss on some paste jewels and pop pills until we pass out” kind of way. Anyway, the event was for UNESCO’s Education for Children in Need, so at least it was a good cause?

She’s usually the pin-up for boho chic, but Sienna Miller cut a far more sophisticated figure on the red carpet today. The actress opted for a old Hollywood glamour look as she attended the UNESCO Charity-Gala 2010 at the Maritim Hotel in Dusseldorf, Germany. And in her champagne-coloured floor-length dress and elaborate yet subtle jewellery, Sienna pulled the vintage look off perfectly.

The 28-year-old also had her hair tied up into a chic bun, instead of letting it hang in loose waves as she usually prefers.

Sienna was working the red carpet at the event as she supported Donatella Versace in raising funds for UNESCO’s Education for Children in Need program.

[From The Daily Mail]

Except it wasn’t vintage! It was a new Stella McCartney dress and Sienna looks like a 50-something divorcee circa 1985! Beyond the dress, though… I do have to admit, Sienna is not aging very well. Too much liquor and cigarettes and sunbathing with no sunscreen.

One last thing: Donatella Versace was at the event too… and this photo is making my life. If I was one of these children’s parents, I would be terrified.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

We don’t do enough Donatella Versace stories. She’s just as fun as Karl Lagerfeld, only more orange and more insane, if possible. While Lagerfeld seems contend to spend interview cataloguing his neverending list of hate, Donatella Versace genuinely seems to be much more fun and cool. If by “fun and cool” you mean “orange and insane”. But Donatella has a sense of humor about herself, as evidenced by a recent interview in LOVE Magazine (via HuffPo) in which Donatella admitted she had no idea what her “natural” hair color was, and that “I do not believe in totally natural for women. For me, natural has something to do with vegetables.” Haha… Beta-carotene.

Donatella Versace sat down with LOVE magazine to talk about the fashion world and her place in it. She remarked that she’s never felt like a fashion icon and frequently jokes about her looks, once saying: “I don’t even know what my natural colour is. Natural? What is natural? What is that? I do not believe in totally natural for women. For me, natural has something to do with vegetables.”

She also reminisced about the supermodels of the ’90s, remembering when “Christy, Linda, Cindy and Naomi together–they sang Freedom, and George Michael was in the audience–that was an iconic moment of fashion.” But everyone didn’t always get along: “When a new girl came along, oh my God, it was like a war. The first time they got together, it was the big girls versus the new girl. I remember one time backstage: Linda needed to go on the runway. She was about to put in her fake boobs and found one of them had been taken. ‘Where is my boob? Where’s my boob?’ she was screaming over and over.”

So what does she think about the current state of fashion?

“Now is a bad moment. Now we need something. We need a special personality. We need to feed the egos of these girls. Somebody like Kristen [McMenamy] who had a huge ego. Beautiful…”

[From Huffington Post]

I’m so with Donatella about the whole “I miss models with real personalities” stuff. I miss Linda Evangelista, although she’s still working as a model. Linda used to be crazy and fun too. Naomi is still a diva, but I’ve never enjoyed her. And Christy was “the good one” right? The polite one who was never a diva. They really did have personalities, which this current crop… well, they might be nice girls, professional girls, but they all seem so boring.

Behold, the wonder that is a woman with nothing natural on or in her… please, don’t everyone yell at once “Burn it with fire!”:

Donatella Versace at the ‘A Single Man’ premiere in Milan on January 11, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin and Getty.