Even though it hasn’t started shooting yet, Warner Brothers announced today that Oceans 13 is slated for release in July of next year. We thought that the only good things about Oceans 12 were the hot guys and the good music, which makes it hard to turn off the sound while you’re watching. The plot was strung together loosely and we don’t remember much about it except for some heists and the fact that the dialogue seemed too casual.

George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon will star again, with Ellen Barkin - yes Ellen Barkin - announced as Damon’s love interest. That has to be a mistake. The woman is almost 52 years old! It must be a pity role after her recent unexpected divorce from mogul Ron Perelman.

E! Online’s incomprehensible Ted Casablanca seems to suggest that Pitt and Clooney can’t agree on when to start filming the latest excuse to get their hot asses together on screen. Pitt wants to start soon so that he will be available for the birth of his child, while Clooney needs a break so that he can continue sexing up Krista Allen until he’s ready to dump her next month. Matt Damon is presumed to be diplomatic as usual, despite the upcoming birth of his first child.

Here is Pitt flying in Avignon, France on Friday. He’s certainly taking plenty of flying lessons and may get Jolie’s approval soon.

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George Clooney, 44, and his ex Krista Allen, 34, have been dating for almost a month. In Clooney’s book that’s a few years and he’s sure to be moving on soon. We reported on March 7th that Clooney had an intimate date with Allen the night before the Oscars.

Clooney is said to have broken Teri Hatcher’s foolish heart last month, prompting her tell-all confessional to Vanity Fair magazine.

On Saturday Clooney and Allen were photographed entering a restaurant together, but quickly separated in order to foil the paparrazi.

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Five more after the jump.

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Clooney has blasted Adriana Huffington for adding his comments to the Huffington Post. His remarks about lilly-livered Dems and the leadup to war were lifted from earlier remarks and cut and pasted together to make the blog post:

We bitched that Clooney should keep his mouth shut at any inopportune time for him, and he was trying to. It seems Clooney is always right.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are supposed to be planning a wedding that will take place next week on a boat in the middle of Italy’s Lake Como near George Clooney’s villa:

This sounds rather far-fetched, considering that George Clooney seemed earnest when he said in an appearance on “Larry King Live” on 2/16/06 that the couple had not asked him to use his villa for a wedding. He also said he was friends with Pitt but that they weren’t very close:

From what Clooney said, (and Clooney is always right) it sounds like the tabloids just make this shit up. It makes no sense that Brad and Angelina would choose to get married on a boat in the middle of the lake near a villa that an aquaintance owns. It’s pretty fucking stupid, actually.

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Pitt was the face of Edwin Jeans, the “Levis of the East,” from 1996 to 1999. He has appeared in Japanese ads for the Toyota Prius and for coffee, but only lent his fame to one US ad - a Heineken commercial for the 2005 Super Bowl.

George Clooney just got a lot of press for being a womanizing scum, and he should lay low until the scandal with Teri Hatcher subsides. Instead of doing the smart thing and waiting until it blows over, he’s opening his big mouth as usual:

I’m a proud liberal like Clooney, and he’s totally right that the whole situation was obvious and the Dems have no spine, but he should shut the hell up until he has more credibility. Right now he’s just a shrieking celebrity. Plus I really don’t like him even if I share his politics.

Clooney is known for his political outburts. He made an impassioned speech after Princess Diana’s death in which he blamed the paparrazi for her death. Some tabloids boycotted him afterwards in protest.

George Clooney is such a fucking cad. When you’re 25 and you sleep around it’s expected. When you’re almost 45 and have never had a long-term, commited relationship you have a serious, debilitating problem.

Clooney is a typical example of a man who has too many choices and is too weak to pick one and stick with it. He can bang the hottest or the horsiest woman in Hollywood, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he doesn’t have to deal with her shit.

Of course both Clooney and Hatcher have denied Page Six’s report that Clooney was the “mystery man” referred to in the Vanity Fair article:

Please. This story is so obvious that there’s no need to issue the obligatory denial.

Here is Clooney in NY on March 9th filming “Michael Clayton.” Hopefully the staff on the film teased him mercilessly for treating Teri Hatcher like garbage.

Four more after the jump.

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George Clooney has a long-standing reputation as a complete asshole when it comes to women. They only thing constant in Clooney’s life is his potbellied pig, and even the pig is on the outs.

That’s why Teri Hatcher is a fool for falling for her handsome neighbor after only a few weeks of dating. Page Six reports that Hatcher told her sad tale of childhood abuse in an erroneous attempt to share her pain at getting dumped by Clooney:

Teri, you dumb ass, you can’t change men. It’s also really, really lame to try to get a guy’s attention by being weak and needy. That’s why they leave in the first place. We all did this at one point in our dating careers, but Hatcher is old enough to know better than to make such a calculated and public mistake.

George Clooney had an intimate dinner with his ex, hottie Krista Allen, the night before the Oscars. In just the past month, Clooney has been spotted with Renee Zellweger and was supposed to be dating his neighbor Teri Hatcher. Why gossip columns even try to keep up with Clooney’s love life is puzzling. His publicist is funny as usual:

Clearly Hatcher was busy getting ready for the Oscars and Clooney just couldn’t bear to be alone.

George Clooney isn’t a man-slut for no reason, he’s simply lonely and needs constant company. At least that’s what we’re inferring from his latest comments, where he reveals that the master bedroom in his Italian villa is just too big for him:

Add two to three actresses, and Clooney manages to bear the spaciousness of his master suite.

George Clooney, Reese Witherspoon, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams, Jennifer Lopez and more at the Governor’s Post-Show Ball.
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Twelve more after the jump.

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