Who has the most enviable figure in the celebrity world?

A UK poll by fitness firm Premier Training International has come up with some less than predictable answers in a hot body poll.

Enviable Women

Myleene Klass - Big Brother contestant
Halle Berry - actress
Jessica Simpson - singer
Madonna - singer
Sophia Loren - actress
Angelina Jolie - actress
Uma Thurman - actress
Jennifer Aniston - actress
Gabby Logan - Strictly Come Dancing contestant

Enviable Men

Daniel Craig - actor
Jonny Wilkinson - rugby player
Brad Pitt - actor
Hugh Grant - actor
David Beckham - soccer player
Orlando Bloom - actor
Johnny Depp - actor
Lee Mead - Any Dream Will Do winner
Colin Firth - actor
Sir Sean Connery - actor

New Zealand Herald

It seems that being over 70 isn’t going to stop you from having an enviable body – Sophia Loren is 73 and Sir Sean Connery is 77. Checking out the pictures on IMDB I can only hope I look that good when I’m that sort of age, although I passed my mirror this morning and turned it to face the wall – but maybe by the time I’m old I’ll look better than I do now. Do you have to be good looking in your youth (I use the term loosely) to look good in your old age?

Also, it’s amazing that three of the celebrities are from reality TV shows. Myleene Klass was on last year’s Big Brother UK edition and she gained notoriety for her physique in a bikini. I’m amazed anyone can remember Big Brother from last year? Who can remember even last night’s reality TV?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Myleene Klass pregnant bikini picture from The Daily Mail. Die another Day, Dukes of Hazzard, and Troy movie stills from allmoviephoto. Brad Pitt Premiere cover from members.fortunecity.com/mattdamon. Shirtless Becks from PRPhotos.

Ah, the old fuck buddy relationship. You have an ex that you’re not quite romantically compatible with but the sex was great, so you fall back into old comfortable patterns when you both happen to be single. At least that’s how it’s supposed to work, but I always ended up getting starry-eyed and sappy the few times I tried that, and had to force myself to go hang out with my girlfriends and forget about whichever guy I was using to tide me over until Mr. Right popped up. Sometimes it’s better than not getting laid, as long as you can keep the baggage out of it and realize that if the guy didn’t come through for you the first few times, he’s not going to change.

Star Magazine claims that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are hooking up again through a series of secret trysts that they’ve managed to hide from the public. There does seem to be a small amount of real evidence to back this up, in that these two were seen out to dinner together. The secret hotel hookups, I’m not so sure about:

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn may have officially ended their relationship nearly a year ago, but behind the scenes, their connection is better than ever. The stars have been meeting in secret to enjoy lusty romps in the sack – which explains the still scorching chemistry they displayed when they recently dined together at the Beverly Hill Hotel bar Nineteen 12.

Vince initiated the sexy get togethers after the couple split, a friend of the stars reveals, “after making booty calls to Jen whenever he had been out drinking and felt lonely. Jen was totally opposed to it at first, because she wanted a clean break, but she eventually came around. Jen figures that they were always great friends, and they always had great sex, so why not.” Adds an insider, “she likes keeping him at arm’s length, that way they only have good times and laugh.”

“They go to unbelievable lengths to keep their steamy meetings secret. Usually it’s Vince who will come over to her house late at night. But they have also had a number of secret encounters in hotels that were incredibly hot. Sometimes they won’t leave the hotel room for days, only opening the door for room service.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, November 5, 2007]

They spend days holed up in hotel rooms together, huh? I’m so sure if that was true, this would be the first we’ve heard about it. It sounds to me like they had dinner together and that’s about it, but they could be hitting the sheets again. If there’s any truth to this story, Star credits Aniston for handling it like a fuck buddy should. They say “There are no rules and no strings attached” to their relationship. But continuing to see Vaughn could be hurting Aniston’s chances of finding a real partner. Star warns that “As long as she has Vince on the back burner, Jen doesn’t seem to have her eyes focused on someone new.”

It was a damn slow news week, and when Jen and Vince have dinner together, Star doesn’t consider it that much of a leap to declare that they’ve been having enough enough lengthy sex sessions to rival Sting and Diddy’s boasted prowess.

Thanks so much to a reader for typing in this article. (She would rather not be credited by name, but I cannot thank her enough.)

Header image is an old one of Vince and Jennifer, because there were hardly any photos of them together when they were supposedly dating and there certainly aren’t any recent ones.

This will come as a surprise to no one, but The Enquirer cover story that claimed that Jennifer Aniston finally confronted Brad Pitt after two years was based on completely fabricated “insider” quotes. I know, it’s a shocker!

Every week I see the tabloid covers come out on popbytes and get my hopes up that there will be some juicy new bombshell story, and each time I’m disappointed. Even in this instance I expected some smidgen of evidence that this was true, but there’s absolutely nothing. It just sounds like a weak version of the awesome criticism you guys hurl at the Brangelina side of this long-standing infidelity feud just about every day. (Not that I give a shit about either party at this point. It’s old news to me.)

Supposedly Jennifer Aniston lit into Brad for claiming that they were still good friends when they haven’t talked since the divorce, but all they have are quotes from a “friend” who happened to be privy to the entire non-conversation to back it up. The story is mostly filler background details about their split and the suspicious timing of Brad and Angie’s hookup. Of course Aniston is featured prominently on the cover, since it’s now known that she sells more copies, even when people put words in her mouth:

Two years after their divorce was final, Jen has launched a blistering attack on her ex husband, telling him loud and clear: “I HATE YOU!”

The 38-year-old actress politely held her tongue when Brad claimed in a recent interview that they were still close, and also when Angelina Jolie cooed that she’d “welcome” a meeting with Jen…

But now Jen has had enough…

A friend reveals Jen finally exploded when she heard that Brad pronounced she needed “to move on with her life.”

“Jen was absolutely incensed,” said the friend, who knows both Brad and Jen. “She said: ‘How dare he try to pretend everything is great between us?’”

According to the friend, a fiery Jen raged: ‘What right does Brad have to keep saying these things? Angelina can say all she likes that she didn’t steal my husband, and Brad can try and say he was all innocent. But you do the math! It doesn’t take much working out.’”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Ocobter 29, 2007]

The article also claims that Jen is pissed that Brad has become this big philanthropist when she “knows Brad’s lazy side and how much dope he smoked.”

From what I understand, it’s perfectly legal for gossip magazines to claim they have a source and to just make stuff up. Photographs can be a source, the guy in the next cubicle can be a source, the janitor can be a source. It really doesn’t matter and just claiming someone said something doesn’t mean it’s true. You could see Aniston saying this, it’s only how anyone would react, but whether she’s still harping on it even given the fact that Brad recently made statements about her is up to question.

Angelina is facing off against Jennifer Aniston on competing covers of W Magazine this month, which features nine signed celebrity headshots by Richard Prince in separate versions of the November “Art Issue.” US Magazine is already declaring Aniston the winner, given the news that her cover issues outsell everyone else’s.

This fact is not lost on Star Magazine, and there’s a juicy new story that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are having secret trysts after their breakup. A reader e-mailed me the text, and I’ll cover that shortly. Like most tabloid stories, though, it has just a little bit of substance and a lot of wishful thinking.

This week’s Star Magazine screams on the cover “Hollywood Stylists Tell All!” and it’s one of those cellulite/plastic surgery/celebrity beauty secrets filler articles that they’re forced to use as headline stories during slow news weeks.

The first story in the supposed Hollywood Stylist Tell-All feature is the shocking claim that Jennifer Aniston is so obsessed with being completely bare down there that she has even her pubic peach fuzz waxed. They seem to have some actual insider information for this one, and quote a woman with the esteemed profession of Brazilian waxer who has had the pleasure of working on Aniston.

Jennifer Aniston’s name may be synonymous with impeccable hair, but according to her former waxer, Jen is just as concerned with the hair on another region of her body! “She’s neurotic about bikini waxes,” reveals Dawn DaLuise of Dawn DaLuise Skin Refinery in L.A., who used to visit the Friends set every other week to work on the actress. “She’d call even when there was no hair to wax. And she’d insist on having it done - literally making me wax off peach fuzz. She’s phobic about extraneous stray hairs - especially around her bikini line. She’ll [even] tweeze them!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 22, 2007]

Since when did a bikini waxer complain about having to do their job on someone without a lot of hair down there? That seems like it would be one of the more pleasant waxing experiences, you would just breeze in and out. Maybe Aniston was demanding and the woman is a salon owner who felt that it was beneath her to be removing Rachel’s curlies.

If this happened during the later era of Friends, Aniston was probably with Brad at that point and perhaps he has an aversion to women who are au natural downstairs. I doubt it, though. He never seemed the type to tell a woman what to do. Plus, Aniston still seems to favor the bald look down there. In recent photos of her out in a bikini there’s nary a stray hair.

Other revelatory claims in the article include the fact that J.Lo uses a girdle, that Lindsay Lohan has extensions, and that Kate Beckinsale and Nicole Richie have bald spots.

Aniston is shown in the header image on 12/9/06 at the premiere of Courtney Cox’s series Dirt, thanks to PRPhotos.

Instead of going the traditional rehab route, Owen Wilson is working on finding his own path to recovery after attempting suicide about six weeks ago. He has hired a sober companion to stay with him and make sure he fights the temptation to drink and do drugs. He is said to be taking a healing journey to Arizona, where he will be treated holistically using the traditional Native American method of a sweat box to rid the body of toxins. He will also undergo hypnosis and attend group therapy for addiction.

Yoga is also on Owen Wilson’s itinerary. Jennifer Aniston is a strong proponent of the practice, and has spoken candidly about how it helped her to work through her negative emotions following the breakup of her marriage.

Aniston will be working with Wilson on the upcoming film Marley and Me, and is said to have sent him some books and to have encouraged him to pursue meditation and yoga as part of his path to healing. It’s possible she influenced him to take the trip to Arizona and to embrace holistic practices as part of his recovery:

Owen Wilson has a concerned Friend rooting for his recovery - Jennifer Aniston! The two, who are slated to work on the film adaptation of the best seller Marley & Me, have been speaking regularly by telephone and e-mail since Owen was taken to an L.A. hospital after a failed suicide attempt on Aug. 26.

Jen has sent him some of her favorite books, including The Power of Now, and she’s “been encouraging Owen to practice breathing techniques, yoga and meditation,” says a source close to the actress. “Owen has come to rely on Jen’s phone calls.” They’ve connected, adds the source, because “both are wounded souls.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 15, 2007]

If you read between the lines Star is suggesting a love match there, but since Aniston and Wilson haven’t been seen out together and their source probably just knows that she sent him books, there’s not enough to go on to declare a relationship, even by tabloid standards.

Jennifer Aniston is portrayed as a sad sap who can’t get a man while Owen Wilson has the stigma of a failed suicide attempt and crippling depression. It’s a match made in tabloid heaven, and it would certainly sell copies on the week they’re declared an item. If they’re ever foolish enough to be seen in each other’s presence when they’re not on set making that movie it’s sure to make the covers of the glossies. I don’t mean to sound too harsh, and I don’t view either of them that way, but celebrities become caricatures for our entertainment and the paper cut outs of these two would make a nice couple.

As much as I like Angelina and Brad, I still like Jennifer Aniston too. I don’t feel I have to choose, though the three of them keep yelling at me to pick, and screaming about my “divided loyalties.” Or maybe I need to take more Xanax. But I’ve decided that I can love them all, because all three have good things going for them. Angelina tries to save/adopt the world, Brad has his New Orleans/love of spartan architecture, and Jennifer takes her friends on fancy vacations. All good things here. According to Star, Jen is quite the sugar mama, and her friends are very loyal to her and appreciative of it.

“‘Jennifer pays for everything all the time,’ insider tells Star. ‘If she plans a vacation, you know she’s footing the bill for her entire entourage. Jen’s assistant books it all. The planes, the cars, the hotels, the meals, the activities, the spa services, the clothes they wear on vacation, the cocktails – it’s so over the top! She’s like the sugar daddy everyone wishes they had, except she’s a woman! You could call her sugar mama!’

“Among the girls who’ve enjoyed luxury getaways courtesy of their de-pocketed [sic] pal: Actress Andrea Bendewald, who’s been close to Jennifer for more than a decade; movie producer Kristin Hahn, who broke off her working relationship with Brad Pitt after he divorced Jen, and yoga instructor Mandy Ingber, who bonded with Jen this summer during private yoga sessions at Jen’s Malibu home. On August 11, she took her posse to the swanky Ojai Valley Inn & Spa, an hour north of L.A. The benevolent beauty also splashes out on Cartier watches and spends thousands on baby gifts for her mommy pals.

“But is her open-pocket policy costing Jen her happiness? ‘Her friends really enjoy themselves, but I bet they’re afraid that she’ll find a serious boyfriend,’ the insider says. ‘That means no more free trips for them – and that’s why they seem to be hard on her dates. I’m sure they were brutal with her last boyfriend, Paul Sculfor.’”

[From Starpulse]

So now I just have to figure out a way to ingratiate myself to Jennifer Aniston. Seriously, it would suck if her friends were uber-critical of her boyfriends to keep Jen to herself, but I doubt that’s the truth. I’m sure she’d catch on after awhile. The article does make it sound like she’s basically bribing her friends to hang out with her. I would bet she likes to have a good time and knows that she can afford it, while it’s more of a strain on some of her friends. One (or some) of them is blabbing to someone, since a lot of her dirt seems to get out. But like I said before, I think most of the stuff written about her is tabloid conjecture. I think she’s made a pretty full life for herself based on her friends instead of a guy, and that’s great. And if she wants to make me her friend and take me to Paris with her, even better.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Jen on vacation in Hawaii with Courtney Cox this past weekend. Something tells me Courtney footed her own bill. Header image of Jennifer and Courtney in Malibu this summer. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Jennifer Aniston is really starting to step up her movie game. The last we saw of her, she was in “The Break Up,” with Vince Vaughn, and we all know how that turned out.

Now, she’s stepping into the film adaptation of the book, “He’s Just Not that Into You,” (how ironic, eh?), which seems to have a pretty good cast - Scarlett Johansson, Justin Long, Jennifer Connelly and Drew Barrymore are the headliners. The film is being produced by the dynamic duo of Barrymore and Nancy Juvonen (who recently announced her engagement to Jimmy Fallon), which explains why Barrymore is in it to begin with. Don’t Get me wrong. I really like Drew and think she’s a great actress, but she’s really in a lot of movies and the fact that she owns half of Flower Films Productions explains why.

Okay so, back to Jen…also up for Aniston is a movie about a dog (how ironic, eh?) and is again based on a book titled, “Marley & Me,” written by John Grogan. Supposedly, this has something to do with a Labrador Retriever who turns out to be almost too much for a newlywed couple. Her co-star this time around is said to be none other than Owen Wilson, who of course was Vince Vaughn’s co-star in “The Wedding Crashers.”

It wont be long before rumors of an Aniston/Wilson romance start heating up. I feel a headache coming on, already.

[IMDB]

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jennifer Aniston is shown at a party at Courteney Cox’s Malibu beach house on 7/30. Thanks to Splash News.

Jennifer Aniston directed a movie which will be screening at the Palm Springs International Festival of Short Films & Short Film Market later this month. Well, I guess she co-directed it, though no one is writing it as such. It’s just casually mentioned that it’s also directed by Andrea Buchanan. I know everyone and their mother loves Jennifer Aniston, and I was a total “Friends” addict, but she never struck me as someone who was super smart or insightful. I’m guessing her directing involved sitting in the fancy chair while telling people to bring her stuff.

“The Hollywood Reporter says that Aniston co-directed the short film ‘Room 10′ with Andrea Buchanan.

“The romantic drama stars Robin Wright Penn and Kris Kristofferson and will be shown at the Palm Springs International Festival of Short Films & Short Film Market, which begins on 23 August.”

[From RTE Entertainment]

Alright. More proof than ever than Jennifer has moved on from Brad Pitt, and is still living a meaningful existence. In other Aniston news, once again everyone and their mother is reporting that she wants to start a family. Apparently her relationship with Paul Sculfor ended because he wasn’t ready. Didn’t they date for about two minutes? If she was already pressuring him for a marriage and kids at the point, I think a lot of guys would run away. Then they would realize they ran away from Jennifer Aniston, and really, really regret it.

“A source reveals, ‘Jen and Paul’s relationship had been moving very quickly and she decided she’d better make sure she knew where it was going and sat him down for a serious heart-to-heart . Sadly, after explaining her wishes for a family, it seems she realised Paul was not at the same stage in his life.’

“Friends of the 36-year-old model claim Paul didn’t feel ready to commit to becoming a father so soon into his two-month relationship with Jennifer.”

[From Times of India]

Relationships progress at different speeds, so while that looks fast on paper, maybe it made sense (at least to Jennifer) within the context of their relationship. Jennifer needs to start choosing her boyfriends more wisely. Brad Pitt was a good choice, and I don’t mean that just from a vanity perspective. He’s funny, smart, nice, socially and environmentally active, has interests beyond Hollywood, etc. Okay now I feel sad for her again. Anyway, then she moved on to Vince Vaughn. I’ve never understood what the attraction was, or why people think he’s so cool. He seems really full of himself, and should have realized how lucky he was to have her. In fact, ever since Brad, Jen seems to have only dated guys that treated her poorly. So cheer up, Jennifer Aniston. You have a house by the beach and nice hair. What more do you need in your line of work?

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s a chronicle of Jen’s crappy relationship choices and a another picture of her from an article about her relationship with Paul Sculfor. [Star Magazine, print edition, August 20, 2007]. Header image of Jen at the People’s Choice awards. Image thanks to PR Photos.

Forbes.com just released an analysis of who gives movies studios the most bang for their buck. I was kind of surprised, but it turns out the best investment is Matt Damon. In a way it makes sense: those “It” actors and actresses command such huge paychecks, that investment-wise, it’s hard to get the same return. For every dollar that Matt Damon is paid for a film, the movie returned $29. Pretty good deal.

“According to Forbes’ first-ever list of Ultimate Star Payback, the movie stars who deliver the best bang for the buck aren’t the industry’s top earners. Matt Damon, the soft-spoken leading man in box office winner The Bourne Ultimatum, turns out to be Hollywood’s best investment. For every dollar Damon got paid for his last three roles, his films returned $29 of gross income. And, surprisingly, former ‘Friends’ star Jennifer Aniston is Hollywood’s most profitable actress, despite duds like ‘Rumor Has It.’ For ever dollar the former Mrs. Pitt was paid for her last three major roles, her films on average returned $17 of gross income.”

[From Forbes.com]

Second place for actors went to Brad Pitt, and third place was a tie between Johnny Depp and Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn is the biggest surprise to me. It must be because he makes about $34 a film, so if the film makes $43,000 you’ve got a pretty good deal. Vaughn’s rate is actually about a million a film, a relative bargain in Hollywood terms. Forbes points out that his last three movies “’The Break-Up,’ ‘Wedding Crashers,’ ‘Dodgeball’–have been box office bonanzas relative to their low production costs. (At $52 million, The Break-Up’s budget was roughly 20% of “Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man’s Chest.).” The big budget actors like Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise and Will Smith only averaged about $12 in gross income per salary dollar.

The actor who gave the worst return, dollar for dollar? Russell Crowe. Forbes points out that his “standing in Hollywood has shrunk since he scored back-to-back consecutive Oscar nods for ‘The Insider’ (1999), ‘Gladiator’ (2000) and ‘A Beautiful Mind’ (2001). Crowe’s last three films earned on average just $5 in gross income for every dollar spent on the star. His most recent, last year’s ‘A Good Year,’ was made for $35 million, almost one-third of which went to Crowe’s salary. The film earned only $40 million in worldwide box office, making it a huge disappointment for Fox, which produced and distributed it.” Logically, it seems like the opposite should be true. Who would ever have guessed that getting three Oscar nominations in three years could be bad for your career?

You know who is not a good investment? Lindsay Lohan. For some reason Forbes doesn’t even bother mentioning this. Probably because it’s so obvious it doesn’t need stating. Ironically, I bet this report will raise Matt Damon’s salary, thus making him less of a great deal. Oh well. He’s still a good actor, and fun to look at.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Matt Damon yesterday at the Ft. Lauderdale International Film Festival. Header image of Matt and his wife Luciana Bozan Barroso from the “The Bourne Ultimatum” Los Angeles Premiere. Images thanks to PR Photos.

I realize this story keeps getting recycled and sounds old, but there’s a story in the National Enquirer this week that Jennifer Aniston plans on adopting up to two babies.

I beileve the Aniston adoption story originated from what’s safe to assume was a complete bullshit story in Britain’s Grazia magazine about two weeks ago which claimed that a friend and a relative of Aniston’s said she’s planning to adopt and is using an LA adoption agency.

The article said that she was encouraged by Oprah (somehow all these fake stories involve allmighty Oprah) to take in an African baby, but that she was set on an American baby and even wanted two of them for double the fun.

Here’s the Enquirer’s take on Aniston’s adoption, and it sounds so similar to that Grazia story that I would say that’s the source and doubt that The Enquirer has any insider information:

The 37-year-old star decided she’s running out of time, and has spent the past several weeks consulting adoption experts - and looking for a newborn American baby girl, The Enquirer has learned.

[From The National Enquirer print edition, February 5, 2007]

Grazia:

Grazia can exclusively reveal the 37-year-old has spent the last five weeks instructing different lawyers to make approaches to adoption agencies on her behalf. Two sources close to the star - one a friend, the other a relative - told Grazia that Jennifer hopes to find a newborn baby through a private agency in Los Angeles.

[From Grazia print edition, date unknown. Online posting date of January 22, 2007]

Both articles also say that Aniston is using a private agency which would make it possible for her to adopt directly from a mother, and repeat the Oprah advice story. Aniston is said to want a daughter first and then a son soon after if possible.

The reason I’m repeating this is that Aniston was said to have bought a bunch of baby stuff from that popular LA kids’ boutique Petit Tresor. It could have been for a friend’s shower, and since she got stuff like a baby basket, diaper bag, and blanket, it sounds like a gift, not something you would use to outfit your house for a baby.

I don’t think she’s pregnant or planning to adopt. One thing she does seem fond of lately is plastic surgery, because she is said to have had her “deviated septum” fixed and her boobs do look slightly bigger.