Two days ago, we covered a new Karl Lagerfeld interview. It was one of my favorites in a long line of enormously quotable and hilarious Lagerfeld interviews. Usually, Karl is rather hateful and bitter, but as I said at the time, it seems like the Kaiser is actually softening a bit. When he tossed off an insult directed at Adele, he cushioned the insult in praise. He rarely does that! Here’s his original comment, and keep in mind he was asked about Lana del Rey:

I prefer Adele and Florence Welch. But as a modern singer [Lana del Rey] is not bad. The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice. Lana del Rey is not bad at all. She looks very much like a modern-time singer. In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She’s not alone with implants.

[Via previous Celebitchy story]

So, everyone got upset and people were all “This toad thinks he can judge Adele?!?” and even worse, “He’s right, she’s fat, I hate them both.” Personally, I thought that FOR KARL, it was high praise for Adele. He’s not a man who tosses out compliments like “beautiful face” and “divine voice” all the time. But Karl heard that people were upset, and so he offered a clarification to his original comments. He speaks directly to Adele, and he’s actually really sweet:

Karl Lagerfeld has responded to the frenzy surrounding his recent comments about British singer Adele’s weight — exclusively to Metro. Lagerfeld, who served as the global guest editor of this newspaper on Tuesday, told us: “I’d like to say to Adele that I am your biggest admirer. Sometimes when you take a sentence out of the article it changes the meaning of the thought. What I said was in relation to Lana Del Rey and the sentence has since been taken out of context from how it was originally published. I actually prefer Adele, she is my favorite singer and I am a great admirer of her. I lost over 30 kilos over 10 years ago and have kept it off. I know how it feels when the press is mean to you in regards to your appearance. Adele is a beautiful girl. She is the best. And I can’t wait for her next CD.”

[Via The Metro]

Aw. See, that’s high praise. He loves Adele. He knows what it’s like to be insulted, and he knows what it’s like to battle the bulge. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Karl is getting me a little bit weepy. Oh, Anger Bear. You’re so sweet!

PS… Yes, I know he didn’t really apologize or take responsibility for what he originally said, but still. There are different rules for Karl.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Oh, Karl. I was all prepared to get super-mad at him for some unfortunate things he said about Adele, but once I read his full quote… I still love the old Anger-Bear. I actually think the Kaiser (the original Kaiser) is getting a little bit softer. Yes, he says that Adele is “a little too fat” but he cushions it with “she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.” Does that make it better? Does “a little too fat” even count as an insult when it comes from Karl Lagerfeld? Do I have to be outraged on Adele’s behalf when I think that FOR KARL, he was offering a very sincere compliment?

Anyway, enjoy this new interview with Karl – it’s wonderful. He loves Michelle Obama, he thinks Russian women are beautiful and he actually says this wonderful line - “People in magazines are 50% bimbo and 50% pregnant women.” PERFECTION.

Karl on the Queen’s Jubilee: I think [Queen Elizabeth] looks very good in her recent photos even better than a few years ago – beautiful, a bit like Queen Mary. She looks a little bit like her grandmother – a more smiley version. In terms of what she wears, she’s come into herself a little bit more – whatever that is.

Karl on the relevance of the monarchy: It’s good for the tourists because it brings a lot of money in. It’s totally unnecessary, but it’s pleasant. Why not have the monarchy? People can dream about it.

Karl on the Greek economic crisis: Greece needs to work on a cleaner image. It’s a big problem, as [Greeks] have this reputation of being so corrupt. You can’t be sure the money will go where it’s supposed to go. They need to build trust, and that takes time too. Nobody wants Greece to disappear, but they have really disgusting habits – Italy as well.

Karl on Syria: Some people say it will be worse if [President Assad] goes. It’s very difficult now to say. What he does is beyond awful. I think the man is frightening.

Karl on Lana del Rey: I prefer Adele and Florence Welch. But as a modern singer she is not bad. The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice. Lana del Rey is not bad at all. She looks very much like a modern-time singer. In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She’s not alone with implants.

Karl on women in Russia: If I was a woman in Russia I would be a lesbian, as the men are very ugly. There are a few handsome ones, like Naomi Campbell’s boyfriend, but there you see the most beautiful women and the most horrible men.

Karl on M.I.A. and her middle finger: Nowadays people give the middle finger quite quickly – it’s not the best behavior. Everybody does that, what’s new about that? It’s just become a bad habit. People in magazines are 50% bimbo and 50% pregnant women.

Karl on Barack Obama’s claim that he “deserves” to be re-elected: Yes he does, especially because of Mrs. Obama. I’m a big fan of Mrs. Obama – and her face, I think, is magical. He would not be there without her. Mrs. Obama is not a fashion statement, but she has other things to do. My favorite thing about Mrs Obama was when she was asked if her skirt was not too tight and she answered “Wh,y you don’t like my big black ass?” I want [Barack] Obama to win because there is nothing better anyway, and especially because of her.

Karl on voting: I never voted in my life. I will never vote. I know too much about politics from what’s going on backstage. To vote you have to believe all that garbage that they promise you, and they can’t keep those promises. If someone gave me an Obama pin, I would just put it on.

Karl on sustainable fashion: I don’t know what you consider as sustainable fashion. Do it, but don’t make a subject out of it. It’s a little bit boring.

Karl on political correctness: Be politically correct, but don’t become a bore for that. People should be sensitive in these matters, but not make so much noise. Be politically correct, but do we have to know your opinion?

[From Metro]

I have to wonder if his comments about M.I.A.’s one-finger salute aren’t also about his recent encounter with Kristen Stewart – she was photographed flipping the bird in front of Karl – “Nowadays people give the middle finger quite quickly – it’s not the best behavior. Everybody does that, what’s new about that? It’s just become a bad habit.” That’s Karl’s way of telling K-Stew and M.I.A. to sit down and STFU.

But seriously, doesn’t he sound nicer in this interview? What’s going on with him lately? Did he steal the soul of optimistic youth?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

I kind of love how accessible Karl Lagerfeld has been recently. I feel like he’s really beginning to enjoy the press aspect of his job, and he enjoys the response he’s getting to his now-frequent interviews – which just proves that Karl surrounds himself with ass-kissing sycophants, because Karl‘s interviews are famously INSANE. Anyway, Lagerfeld gave a new interview to Style.com, and it is epic. I can’t even cover all of the parts I love, but you can read the whole thing here. Here are some highlights:

On his collaboration with Macy’s, and his thoughts on department stores: “I learned a lot of things, [but] the work of the American department store is something I knew quite well from the past. They made European designers in America, because [these designers] had no advertising. It was not like today. They made the shows, and really promoted them, and educated the American public about European design. That was another world, another time. But that does not diminish my sympathy for department stores… People don’t shop the same way. There was no Internet. We live in another world. It’s a new start. What I love best in life is new starts.”

On people seeing behind the sunglasses: “You don’t ask a marionette what a marionette really thinks. I’m totally myself. I became 100 percent my image, so maybe there’s nothing else behind it. It’s like talking heads.”

High/low fashion, and middle-class fashion: “I loved to do H&M because it was an experience. People like me were supposed to be into exclusivity, unapproachable. That’s what I hate most. I think it’s very démodé. T-shirts for ten dollars are even more fashion today than expensive fashion. But the middle has more problems. That’s a point we don’t talk about. The middle has not so much class, in terms of fashion.”

Does Lagerfeld “try” to create an image for himself? “I don’t even try. From you to me, I don’t know anything myself. I am flattered, because I don’t understand. I don’t sing, I’m not an actor, I have no scandals, I am a decent working-class person and people are interested in me, which I think is extremely flattering. I can say what I think. Maybe I should think deeper and open my mouth not as quickly.”

On boredom: “I’m not scared. How can you be scared of being bored? Only boring people are bored. When they say they are bored, the only thing I can say is, “It’s right, you’re boring, too.” Because there is so much to do, to read, to know, the idea of being scared of being bored doesn’t even enter my mind, because the day only has 24 hours, my dear.”

On TV: “I like if I’m on TV; watching it is not my specialty. I prefer what I see in my mind—I get second-rate images delivered there for free. But I’m not too bad on TV. I commented on the English [royal] wedding for the [French] state channel. Normally they don’t have a huge audience, but with me doing it, we had nearly 50 percent and the others had only 30 and 20 percent. An event like that is fun to do because I can make jokes, and jokes of the lowest kind are not against my mentality. But I don’t want to do it all the time, hmm?”

The fashion of no-fashion: “That is a fashion, too. The fashion of no-fashion is another fashion. I agree. But I think it’s horrible that people have to be told. Don’t smoke! Everybody knows it’s bad for the health. But they have to forbid it. But I’m a bad example. I never smoke, I never take drugs, I’m never drunk, because I like only what I’m doing—work, reading, learning, sketching, taking photos. For the rest, my lack of passion or interest for this kind of thing makes it perhaps too easy for me to judge others. I’m surrounded by people who drink and take drugs. It doesn’t bother me at all, even when I know it’s bad for them. I’m not teaching them.”

The royal wedding of Kate & William: “Sure, sure, sure. I do the things they ask me. But this was not a collection, this was the choices of this kind of woman for this kind of ceremony: the bad proportions, the ugly hats, the short skirts on fat legs. [When asked about the “fairy-tale” aspect of it]. But royalty is very trendy, no? Now it’s in. It goes back to the very values you talked about before, you see? The old game coming back. People are excited by it. There is no political ideology for the moment, so they have to turn to something they can identify with.”

On empires: “I don’t want an empire. I work for several empires.”

On Dominique Strauss-Kahn: “I love DSK. I love his wife. They are great people and when they came back to Paris I sent them flowers. But you know, for people in politics, it’s very embarrassing. On the left they had hoped he wouldn’t come back, because I think other people want his job. And on the other side…but even in America, Clinton survived his blow job.”

On DSK and whether his actions were consensual: “They all do it in the political world. They get horny from politics, from power. And he had unbelievable charms. He is really charming. He’s fun, he’s great. He’s a sweet guy—as long as you’re not a woman. That’s the problem.”

[From Style.com]

My favorite comment is the one about the royal wedding - “the bad proportions, the ugly hats, the short skirts on fat legs.” It seems like Karl hates the British royal family – but he’s down with Monaco! He’s friendly with Princess Charlene. The worst comment was all of the stuff about DSK, though. I hate when people gloss over sexual assault like it’s the same thing as a consensual act, but maybe Karl was offering us a hint of DSK’s character – “He’s a sweet guy—as long as you’re not a woman. That’s the problem.”

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

In the new issue of Interview, which is “The Fashion Issue”, our favorite grumpy old bastard Karl Lagerfeld interviews Carine Roitfeld, the former editor-in-chief of Vogue France and one of the leading style-makers of the past two decades. I never realized that Karl and Carine are tight, but they are. They’re also hilarious together, unintentionally so. Like, Karl will say something and Carine will contradict part of it, and Karl will come back at her with something even crazier and then Carine just changes the subject. It’s a great dynamic. I can’t even begin to excerpt all of the wonderful hilarity that ensues throughout this five-page opus of CRAZY, so you should totally read the whole thing here. Here are some of my favorite parts:

Lagerfeld on how Helmut Newton was a fast worker: “He never tried too hard, right? The Germans have a saying, ‘Things are spicier if they’re short.’”

On Roitfeld’s work as a stylist, and photographing nudes:
LAGERFELD: You don’t fall into the trap that a lot of stylists have fallen into of doing everything. You think about the woman first. You let the woman come out.
ROITFELD: Clothing is always a tool that helps me take a picture. But it’s never about the clothing.
LAGERFELD: Although for a stylist, doing a nude is even more difficult.
ROITFELD: Mario [Testino] did a lot of nudes. Every morning when we worked together, he had boys coming over and he would take naked pictures of them. I learned a lot because there’s no artifice and it’s all a question of position, of looks, of attitude, the way to position your legs, position your knees . . . It gives you something.
LAGERFELD: There’s a big difference between photographing naked boys and naked girls.
ROITFELD: I was too shy, at first, to come close to these naked guys. I would stand a little ways away from them. With girls it’s much easier.
LAGERFELD: I think it’s easier because naked men are more awkward.
ROITFELD: Yes and then there is always a bit of seduction to it when one person is clothed and the other is naked, which can be a little weird. Everybody should be naked. In that case, it would be easier, wouldn’t it? Let’s do a huge naked photo shoot!
LAGERFELD: Oui.

Lagerfeld on Carine’s time at French Vogue: “I think freedom is your biggest luxury. You were literally jailed before… I think you’re more like a bird that can’t be put in a cage. I don’t want to compare myself to you, but it’s like at Chanel, I can do what I want, when I want, where I want. And that’s because I am worth more when I’m free. I think it’s the same thing for you.”

They talk about being Virgos, and having children – Carine has two kids:
LAGERFELD: What I think is particularly accomplished with you is that you always have a vision of fashion and a fashionable woman, but you also have a very successful life as a family woman. You have beautiful, intelligent children and they give you stability and credibility in the eyes of others.
ROITFELD: It’s because I’m a Virgo. Either you are a good Virgo or a crazy Virgo! The good Virgo side of me is educating and raising the children—being there for them.
LAGERFELD: Yes, no one can say that you don’t take care of them. You’re also lucky because they are very beautiful. It would have been difficult to have an ugly daughter.
ROITFELD: A moment ago, you said some flaws are necessary in beauty. They do have a temper sometimes. But they are very good children.
LAGERFELD: The care you take in your children gives a balance to your life. I think it accentuates your talent.
ROITFELD: Well, otherwise you’re too far removed from reality. You’re in your car, you’re in your jet—you don’t have a grip on reality. We can lose touch with reality quite easily.
LAGERFELD: I know some stylists who are like that and it’s sad. If I were a woman, I would love to have lots of kids. But for men, I don’t believe in it.

More on how awesome and crazy it is to be a Virgo:
LAGERFELD: I think you are quite modest.
ROITFELD: People might think I’m very hard, what with my black makeup, my hair over my eyes, etc. My innocence didn’t always help me, but it did preserve something in me that maybe others don’t have anymore. I’m inside my bubble, you could say, and thankfully so, because I don’t think daily life is always great. It protects me. I don’t know if it’s my sign, but Virgos are very faithful. I’m a faithful friend. I’m a faithful lover—
LAGERFELD: I can tell you are, indeed, being a Virgo myself.
ROITFELD: We’re a faithful lot. Faithful in many ways.
LAGERFELD: Some people don’t deserve our faithfulness.
ROITFELD: Some don’t, but once we learn that, I can tell you that we also have a very good memory. I have a memory like an elephant. I don’t forget anything.
LAGERFELD: Me neither.
ROITFELD: And revenge! I forget nothing and then, one day, there will be revenge. Innocence isn’t exactly everywhere. But I will say innocence also takes you far in photography. I don’t have prejudices. I’m against taboos. But of course there are some things I’ll never touch—because as a mom, there are things one doesn’t want their children to be around. I think it’s very important what young people see in pictures or on TV or in magazines. Drugs, violence, anorexia . . . All of the things that I absolutely do not reference in my photos.

Lagerfeld on his mother: “I wasn’t allowed to hold my mother’s arm to cross the street. You know why? Because I squeezed her hard and it bruised her arm.”

On the internet and technology:
LAGERFELD: Do you surf the internet?
ROITFELD: No.
LAGERFELD: Me neither. Never. Besides, I don’t even want to have things associated with my name on the internet—it’s very dangerous.
ROITFELD: Is there a fake Karl Lagerfeld Twitter account?
LAGERFELD: Yes.
ROITFELD: There’s one for me, too. Everything is fake.
LAGERFELD: I am not a fake . . . I hope.
ROITFELD: I don’t have a Facebook account.
LAGERFELD: I know enough people. We’re happy with the people we know, right? That’s enough for us.
ROITFELD: It’s insane. The internet is becoming more interesting, though. I think the quality of the image on iPads now is extraordinary. What if tomorrow I had to create a magazine? What I hope I would do is something new, but I still love print. I love to touch paper. I’m not sure if I will ever do a magazine again, but I have plenty of ideas on the subject.

Lagerfeld on ivory towers: “The worst thing in the world is to create an ivory tower. Yes, it’s very bad. It’s sterile. I can’t even go in the street anymore. That bothers me.”

[From Interview Magazine]

The piece is full of all of these crazy gems, and it’s like two insane people looking at each other and acknowledging that they don’t really speak the same made-up language. And OF COURSE they’re both Virgos. I swear, celebrity Virgos give the rest of us a bad name. I’m a Virgo, and I’m not even half as crazy as Karl, Carine, Beyonce, Hugh Grant or LeAnn Rimes, all Virgos. Although… between all of us, we barely make up one truly sane person. My favorite part is how the Virgo conversation turns on a dime and all of a sudden Karl and Carine are talking about revenge and how we never forget a slight. God, that’s so true.

Also, Karl‘s quotes on children – “You’re also lucky because they are very beautiful. It would have been difficult to have an ugly daughter.” And, “If I were a woman, I would love to have lots of kids. But for men, I don’t believe in it.” WTF?!? Oh, Karl.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Since people seem to have a new interest in Charlene Wittstock and Prince Albert, I thought I’d do some additional photos from the Monaco wedding on Saturday. The whole affair wasn’t half as glamorous and A-list as they thought it was, but a decent amount of royals came out, and there were some “celebrities” like Karl Lagerfeld up there, judging us all. I think Karl designed Charlene’s reception gown, the tiered affair with the more flattering neckline. Karl has also taken Charlene under his decrepit wing, so there’s that too.

I keep reading that my lover Gerard Butler was invited, but there are no photos of him in Monaco, and I tend to think he was in California over the whole weekend. So, instead, I give you Roger Moore. Now, I like Roger Moore. He’s a tireless UNICEF ambassador and by all accounts, a lovely man. But he looks like DEATH. He makes Karl Lagerfeld look like the picture of health.

Here’s Sweden’s Crown Princess Victoria and her husband/consort, Prince Daniel. They seem happy and stable, but why isn’t she knocked up?! They were married more than a year ago. Gotta produce those royal heirs. I tend to think Victoria is too underdressed for the wedding, but Daniel looks nice.

Don’t ask me what Charlotte Casiraghi is wearing. It’s hideous, and inappropriate for a girl older than 12. She’s so beautiful, but I want to yell at her until she stands up straight and stops making faces. She’s like the Kristen Stewart of Monaco.

And here’s Charlotte with her mother, Princess Caroline, and Caroline’s oldest son Andrea, who looks nice with a haircut. Caroline wanted Andrea to get the crown – she was positioning him for that before this whole Charlene disaster. Perhaps Caroline will get her way in the end.

And finally, here’s Naomi Campbell and her married lover. This is what Naomi wore for the church wedding, but for the reception, Naomi totally changed into a white gown, of course. And if you want to criticize her for wearing white, she’ll beat the hell out of you.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

At first I thought this little report in Star Magazine was just some tabloid editor staring at a calendar, realizing that Vanessa Paradis and Angelina Jolie missed each other at the Cannes Film Festival by a matter of days, and building a small story around it. But as it turns out, Star Magazine wasn’t the only outlet to get this small scoop. More on that in a second. First, the backstory. According to the tabloids, Johnny Depp’s lover Vanessa Paradis hates Angelina Jolie’s guts. I doubt they actually hate each other or are jealous of one another or anything like that in reality, but if you told me that they perhaps rub each other the wrong way, I would buy that. Despite what they might have in common, I doubt Vanessa and Angelina would really have all that much to say to each other. But I digress. So, Vanessa and Angie, hatred, etc. Vanessa was scheduled to an event for Karl Lagerfeld, seeing as how she’s one of the “faces” of Chanel. According to Star Magazine, Lagerfeld scheduled the event so as to limit the possibility that Angelina Jolie would show up. Karl Lagerfeld HATES La Jolie!!!

Vanessa Paradis escaped her own mini drama in Cannes. There is no love lost between Vanessa and her partner Johnny Depp’s Tourist costar, Angelina Jolie. So with Vanessa set to be honored by Chanel at local hotspot Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc, designer Karl Lagerfeld purposely held the event on May 9 – two days before a spotlight-grabbing Angie arrived to plug Kung Fu Panda 2!

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Now, as I said, it turns out this isn’t just some random report. The Mail had a similar story several days ago too!

It’s only just begun but already there’s been some cleverly orchestrated scheduling to avoid any red carpet awkwardness at this year’s festival.

Designer Karl Lagerfeld deliberately organised a party to honour his muse Vanessa Paradis – before limelight-lover Angelina Jolie arrived in town.

She rubbed Vanessa up the wrong way when she was filming The Tourist alongside the French chanteuse’s partner Johnny Depp.

Vanessa, 38, was guest of honour at the Chanel Collection Croisiere party at the Hôtel du Cap on the Cap d’Antibes on Monday, two days before Angelina, 35, arrived for her first public appearance at Cannes.

‘Organisers were trying to avoid awkward situations between them,’ said a Cannes mole. ‘Suffice to say, Angelina was not on the invitation list.’

[From The Mail]

Considering Angelina never wears Chanel, doesn’t represent Chanel and isn’t desperately trying to get in Karl Lagerfeld’s good graces, why in the world would she even be invited to a Chanel event, even if Vanessa and Karl didn’t HATE her so very much? But this brings up a question I don’t even want to ask myself: In a battle royale, Lagerfeld versus The Jolie, who would I choose? And who would win that battle? I think I would choose Jolie, but I think Karl would win. He’s like the crypt keeper. He’ll outlive us all. And if anyone can take down Angelina, it’s Karl. He is a worthy opponent!

By the way, even though I’ll buy that Karl hates Angelina, I bet he’d love to dress Empress Zahara. Imagine her all decked out in Chanel! So cute.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

These are some photos from a dinner for Karl Lagerfeld, held in Paris last night. Several of Lagerfeld’s girls came out to support him. Of course, there was Blake Lively, the newest (budget, cheap, mall girl) face of Chanel Mademoiselle handbags, as you may remember. Karl Lagerfeld has made Blake his special project – ever since signing her to the Chanel ad campaign, Blake has done several events with Lagerfeld, and has worn several Chanel dresses to prominent events (like the Met Gala). Even though the consensus around the majority of fashion people seems to be that Blake is a budget mall girl, Lagerfeld (and Anna Wintour) keep pushing Blake in our faces. As for Blake’s Chanel dress – well, when I first saw it, I thought she was just wearing a pom-pom, and that seemed right to me. Blake Lively: Making Couture Look Like Pom-Pom Dresses Since 2007.

Vanessa Paradis was also at the dinner, looking prettier than I’ve seen her in a while – she doesn’t look so sickly here, right? She looks healthy, like she’s eaten a few meals and gotten some sun.

And then there’s Rachel Bilson, trying desperately to be a Fashion Girl, trying desperately to have any kind of relevancy. Karl selected Rachel to star in the commercials he directed for Magnum ice cream. So, Karl gave Rachel a job. So she’s indebted to him. I wonder if made her wear that hat just to amuse himself.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

As we know, Blake Lively’s all-American-Mall-Girl appeal was hired to be the new (fake) boobs of Chanel. Karl Lagerfeld chose Blake himself to front a campaign for Chanel handbags, and apparently Blake’s appeal is so “down-market” (re: CHEAP) that some Chanel employees are quietly questioning The Kaiser’s infinite wisdom. How better to show up the haters then? Blake was on Karl’s arm for the Met Gala, and she was dressed in head-to-toe Chanel Couture.

Even though Blake put on her happy face, I feel like there’s sadness there. She didn’t get to shove her boobs or her legs in everybody’s face. Karl made her cover up! BOO!!! But seriously, I’m sure the detailing on the dress (especially the fitted, beaded bodice) is lovely, but this dress is a spectacular FAIL on Blake. It looks like she’s a sorority girl who got hammered and stupid at a fraternity toga party.

And Jesus Christ, this red tint in hair looks SO CHEAP. She can afford a better red, right? Why does she look so cheap, from head to toe?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Today is going to be a good day. You know why? Because we have a new Karl Lagerfeld interview to read! Huzzah! The Kaiser’s interviews are always priceless, full of little gems about fat, potato-chip-eating peasants and their sweatpants, and each interview brings new additions to The Kaiser’s on-going List of Hate. In today’s episode of “What in the world does Karl Lagerfeld hate this week?” we have: sugar, alcohol, haircuts, washing his own hair, making time for dentists, knowing too much about politicians, thongs and HAPPINESS. We actually have some things to add to The Kaiser’s List of Love too: he enjoys the IDEA of milk, the smell of chocolate, the advertising world, and fax machines. I LOVE HIM.

Well, let’s start with this ad campaign you’ve done for Magnum Ice Cream.
I’ve done many ads because that’s my new career. It’s an inspiring extension for my mind. I always loved advertising. If I hadn’t been in fashion, I’d have been in advertising. I like everything about it. I think it’s an interesting expression of the culture of the moment. I just put out a huge book about the history of German advertising from 1900-1920, because it was the best period. It’s not very well known, but there were great artists. And those posters—when they show up, there are hardly any left—sell for fortunes. It’s a very interesting book, I must say. In fact it’s a box with 12 books.

So why ice cream?
Don’t forget my father was a milkman. He produced Carnation milk in Europe under different names, so I like to say he was a milkman. And ice cream is made with milk, no?

Do you eat it?
I would love to if I was allowed to eat sugar, but my doctor told me that sugar wasn’t needed for me so I haven’t touched it in ten years. I also did the ad for Dom Pérignon and I don’t drink alcohol, but I think it’s a very civilized drink.

Do you crave sugar?
No. Gone. But I like chocolate. I don’t eat it, but I like the smell of it. People can drink with their eyes; I can eat with my nose. I would love to have a perfume based on chocolate.

Eau de Cocoa.
I love the idea.

You’re a busy man.
I’m always busy. You know, the more I do, the more ideas I have—that’s the funny thing. The brain is a muscle, and I’m a kind of body-builder.

Do you ever think about cutting your hair?
No, because I’m afraid it won’t grow again. And I’m not very gifted for hairdos. This is the quickest thing in the world. It takes less than five seconds.

Do you do it yourself?
No, I have someone who comes to the house and washes it, puts in the dry shampoo, and takes care if it because I have no time. I don’t even have time to go to the dentist. I’m busy but in a pleasant way. I’m the one who wanted to do all of it, so I can’t complain.

You’re a designer, photographer, book publisher, filmmaker. Is there anything else you’d like to do?
You don’t think four jobs can do?

Is there anything left that you want to do?
Is this a political question?

You don’t even vote!
No, I never ever vote because I know too much about the backgrounds of these people. No, but for me the advertising world is a new country to conquer. When you want something you haven’t done before you have to think it’s the most important thing. If you see it only as a room that leads to another room, you might make a mistake. I don’t want to cross the room. I want to stay there.

Is there anything you wish you were better at?
Yes, playing the piano.

Can you play at all?
No! Forget about it. For one year I had lessons and then my mother threw the thing on my fingers and said, ‘Start sketching—it makes less noise.’ She was right. She was a violinist and couldn’t stand poorly played music.

You seem to have a love/hate relationship with technology. You have hundreds of iPods but you don’t use a computer. You correspond by fax.
There are people who only have a fax because of me.

Well, because it’s so outdated!
Well, I don’t want to be in-fashion.

But, really, why do you still fax?
It’s very easy to explain: For me, sketching and writing are the same thing. I like to write. It’s a physical thing—I hate to be without paper and pencil in hand. And I write like a talk. I can put my way of talking on the paper exactly the same way. The machines they tried to make where you write directly on computers are not perfect. The minute they’re perfect, I will use them.

So will we ever add writer to your list of occupations?
I’m not a writer, and I don’t want to be a writer because I have nothing to say.

A memoir?
I’m living my memoir, I don’t need to write it. But I do write a lot of prefaces for books.

You’ve famously worn Dior Homme, Tom Ford. What menswear designers do you like now?
Tom Ford is not as good on me as younger men. And you know why? Because I wore the same kind of clothes thirty years ago—Italian-made by Caraceni. I love the way Tom Ford suits are made. They’re chic; they’re elegant. But on my younger entourage, they look better than on me. I wear Dior Homme—my old Hedi Slimane suits. The ones they do today, too, as long as they don’t get too flou. And a little Lanvin. I used to love Margiela, but it’s not him anymore and it shows a little. I used to buy quite a lot of Japanese labels, too, like Undercover and Number (N)ine, but that one disappeared. Mister Hollywood does well-made clothes. You know, I hate made-by-order clothes. It’s up to me to fit into them, not to buy some orthopedic stuff to get the body into. I never had one button touched on a Dior suit. Size 48 is my perfect size. In the past you had to do fittings because there was nothing really good. But when I went to Caraceni thirty years ago, there was one fitter for waistcoat, one for jacket, one for pants—it took hours. You needed three months to get the clothes. No, no, no. I like things immediately.

How do you like a woman to dress?
It depends on the circumstances, her look, her life. There is no rule that I could reduce to two lines.

Is there one thing that you don’t like a woman to wear?
I’m not mad for thongs.

The fall Chanel collection was rather dark, apocalyptic…
It was three days before the earthquake in Japan. It was right for the moment. But that’s what I felt. It’s instinctual. A collection is about what one feels, whatever it is.

When are you happiest?
Happiness is like a fever. I don’t take the temperature.

When was the last time you cried?
I’m trying to think of the last time I had onions.

[From W Magazine]

I love him. He’s wonderful. I mean, he’s crazy and kind of senile (which explains Blake Lively), but he’s also surprisingly funny, and I enjoyed the part where he was giving props to Tom Ford. I also love that he doesn’t do his own hair. He’s like a crotchety old lady.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

As we all know by now, Blake Lively’s is the latest enhanced rack of Chanel. Blake currently fronts the campaign for Chanel handbags, and her first Chanel ad was photographed by The Kaiser himself, Karl Lagerfeld. Blake even got to go to Paris and be the woman of honor (tits of honor) at several Chanel events. It’s a big deal. But there are some mutterings that perhaps this plastic American (mall) girl who couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag is perhaps the wrong “face” of the famous French brand. Oh noes! According to The Mail and NYDN, there are “internal grumblings” within Chanel (specifically, Chanel’s American branch) that Blake is “off-brand”. Which is a fancy way of calling her cheap. For real.

Karl Lagerfeld called her the ‘American dream girl’, but apparently not everyone at Chanel is as enamoured with Blake Lively as the label’s head designer.

According to reports today, the fashion label’s office in Miss Lively’s native U.S. is less than impressed that the Gossip Girl star has been chosen to represent its Mademoiselle handbag line.

A source told the New York Daily News that there were ‘internal grumblings’ at the Chanel American headquarters.

They said that the star was considered ‘off-brand’ by some U.S. employees, which the paper translated as ‘the bitchy fashion industry’s clinical way of saying that Lively’s contemporary American beauty does not dovetail with Chanel USA’s efforts to sell its fashions as the height of European sophistication.’

The suggestion was quickly dismissed by Chanel’s U.S. press office, which remained full of praise for the actress.

A spokeswoman said: ‘Blake’s spontaneity and fresh youthful image have convinced Chanel that she is the right person to represent the house and this range of bags.’

But the rumoured criticism echoes comments made to Miss Lively herself, when she admitted that she had been waiting for an opportunity from the French fashion powerhouse.

‘I had other opportunities and I would say, “Thank you so much, but I am holding out for Chanel,”‘ she told the New York Times. “’That’s who I want to be the face of.”

‘And people would say, “Well, that’s unrealistic, they only hire Europeans,” and I said: “Well, how great. I’ll be the first then.”‘

But the Daily News’s source claimed that Chanel ‘would literally fire anyone who admits’ they are not happy with Miss Lively as a spokesmodel.

Miss Lively was named the face of the Chanel Mademoiselle handbag line in January after she was introduced to Mr Lagerfeld by U.S. Vogue editor Anna Wintour. The campaign image, shot by Mr Lagerfeld himself, appeared in glossy magazines for the first time this month. It shows the 23-year-old leaning against a wall of mirrored panels allowing for a reflection of both her and her glossy red bag. It is both moodier and more colourful than past campaigns for the collection – Lily Allen’s playful 2008 version was shot in black-and-white.

Mr Lagerfeld, 77, told reporters that the shoot for the ad, which took place at Chanel’s Rue Cambon HQ, ‘was an easy job because everyone fell in love with her’.

Miss Lively herself was also thrilled about the appointment she said at the time: ‘How did Cinderella feel when she slipped on the glass slipper? How did Snow White feel when she met her Prince Charming? A dream come true is an understatement. I can say that I feel like the happiest, luckiest girl around.’

The actress joins an illustrious cast of Chanel ‘faces’ – among them Vanessa Paradis, Audrey Tatou, Keira Knightley and Georgia May Jagger.

The label’s current womenswear campaign stars model-of-the-moment Freja Beha, while its catwalk shows are a roll-call of the industry’s hottest faces, including Lindsey Wixson, Anja Rubik and Karolina Kurkova.

[From The Daily Mail]

While I do think that it’s nice to have a “fashion girl” out there who genuinely seems interested, engaged and happy to be apart of the fashionable crowd, I also think Blake’s critics have a point. It’s great to have a happy, blonde, all-American girl representing a famous brand, and at this point, Blake is “new” and “different” from other fashion girls. But there is something cheap, something down-market, something “off brand” about her representing Chanel. Is it the fake tatas? Is it the fact that she just looks like a mall girl, one of millions you could find at any American mall? Is it the fact that for a “fashion girl” she really doesn’t know much about fashion? Is it because she can’t ever be covered up, and she always has to show off her boobs, her legs, her vagina drapes? Ugh.

Photos courtesy of Google, WENN, Fame.