I’ll be perfectly honest here and admit that even though Lady Gaga has shown herself to be a total monster in her treatment of employees, my heart still went out to her when she was sidelined from touring due to a hip injury. Then when the news arrived that Gaga was having surgery for what turned out to be a labral tear, I winced in empathetic pain for her. I’ve had my own bout with hip and groin pain over the past few months, and there was a time my doctor mentioned the possibility of a labral tear and brought me to tears because that prospect is so scary and requires surgery to correct. Luckily, I just have a good old fashioned muscle tear, and the recovery is still slow going, but I am pulling hard for Gaga to recover fully so she can return to her old obnoxious self in a few months.

Lately, all we’ve seen is Gaga being carted around in gold-plated and Louis Vuitton wheelchairs, but these photos show her getting out on the town a bit for a late night session at Chateau Marmont. Because even when she’s injured, Gaga still feels the need to be seen. Gaga has a new chopped hairdo too! I’m assuming that once she feels better, the extensions and wigs will be back in full force, but I think this new hair makes her look very vulnerable. Also, Gaga looks rather wasted, or perhaps that’s the effect of the painkillers.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News

The last time we reported on Lady Gaga, she was rolling around in a custom made, 24 carat, gold-plated wheelchair while recovering from hip surgery. The leather tufted, manual chair looked more like gaudy living room furniture than a wheelchair, but that’s Lady Gaga for you. She’s not going to convalesce in anything that requires her to push buttons to move her ass around. That said, I do hope she’s ok and that she’s recovering well from surgery. She looks kind of hunched over here, and I hope that’s due to some nice cocktails and not her condition.

The latest Lady Gaga sighting involved a Louis Vuitton wheelchair in Chicago, where her boyfriend (fiance?) Taylor Kinney is filming Chicago Fire. Thursday was Gaga’s 27th birthday, and she’s been spotted out in Chicago this week to celebrate. On Friday night, Gaga and Kinney were seen out at a bar, at a “Gentlemen’s Club” and later McDonalds drive-thru. See, Gaga is just like us!

And Lady Gaga, 27, showed she’s certainly a strong person while in Chicago, Illinois on Friday night.

The singer enjoyed a night out with boyfriend Taylor Kinney despite being stuck in her Louis Vuitton wheelchair.

The Poker Face singer wore a bright red outfit and black coat as she was pushed along in her chair.

She and Taylor enjoyed some time together at Richard’s Bar before heading to Polekatz Gentlemen’s Club nearby.

And despite her designer wheelchair, Gaga proved she is down to earth by stopping at a McDonald’s for some food on the way home.

The Born This Way songstress visited the Windy City to celebrate her March 28 birthday with boyfriend Taylor Kinney.

Actor Kinney currently is on location in the city filming the NBC drama Chicago Fire.

A source confirmed to the New York Post’s Page Six this week that the pair kicked off the singer’s birthday celebration on Tuesday evening with an intimate meal at Italian eatery Spiaggia on the city’s famed Michigan Avenue.

Gaga has been confined to a wheelchair since February, when she suffered a labral tear in her hip that caused her to abandon the remaining U.S. dates of her Born This Way Ball tour.

She confessed on Twitter that she dealt with chronic pain for several months prior to seeking medical help, but chose to ignore its effects rather than disappoint her fans.

Despite undergoing surgery several weeks ago to remedy the injury, Gaga still depends upon a cocktail of pain medications to ease her recovery.

[From The Daily Mail]

These photos would be much better if Taylor was actually pushing Gaga around in her chair. As it is, her people are doing it and he’s nowhere to be found. This begs the question: was this Louis Vuitton wheelchair custom made for her and how much did it cost? I’m thinking six figures at least. It must be custom-made, I couldn’t find any valid google results for “Louis Vuitton Wheelchair -Gaga.” I was thinking I’d seen a Louis Vuitton baby stroller before, but I was remembering Gwen Stefani’s Gucci Baby carrier. (Like a Baby Bjorn) This is really tacky is what I’m saying. Get well soon, Gaga, and show off your style on stage and the red carpet again!

Photo credit: FameFlynet

If it were just two weeks later I would think this was an April Fool’s joke, but it’s not and this happened. Lady Gaga underwent hip surgery last month after tearing part of her hip joint. Prior to that she canceled her scheduled tour, citing chronic pain and synovitis, which is severe joint inflammation. Now that Gaga is convalescing she’s not riding around in one of those awesome Dean Kamen robotic wheelchairs that can go up stairs (which were discontinued, but you know she could get one if she tried), she isn’t even riding around in a motorized wheelchair. No, Gaga has commissioned a 24 carat gold manual wheelchair with a tufted leather seat that would look tacky at a mafia grandmother’s house. Because why not? It’s even got a little leather sun umbrella, like the stroller that it is. Gaga isn’t going to ride in transportation that she has to drive herself, how gauche!

Here’s more from the designer, thanks to E! Online:

After undergoing hip surgery last month, the singer turned to designer Ken Borochov of luxury label Mordekai to create a custom wheelchair. And Borochov certainly didn’t disappoint, creating a head-turning 24-karat gold plated chair that will have Gaga riding out her recovery in style!

“I certainly wasn’t expecting that phone call and have never done a wheelchair, but am always up for a challenge and was thrilled to create what I affectionately dubbed the Chariot, a chair fit only for a queen,” the designer explained in a statement.

So what exactly went into creating this pop queen’s new ride? For an edgy yet durable look, Burachov styled the tufted leather seats to look like a motorcycle jacket and added some seriously stylish spoke rims that are sure to mesmerize onlookers as Gaga wheels her way through town. But his masterpiece is just as functional as it is fabulous; it features a removable canopy should Mother Monster require a little shade, and even reclines should she start to feel fatigued. She is recovering after all!

This isn’t the first head-turning piece Borochov’s created for Lady Gaga. He’s designed a couple of crowns for the star’s performances, as well as the infamous gold claw she wore to launch her Fame fragrance at Harrods in London. But we’d say the Chariot ranks as one of his fiercest accessories yet!

[From E! Online]

I guess it’s Gaga’s money, it’s her prerogative. All I can think of when I see Gaga now is that ridiculous rant she went on in court against her ex-assistant. She is so beyond entitled it’s astounding. She also seems to think that perv creeper Terry Richardson is some kind of amazing celebrity artiste, probably just as she thinks about herself. Uncle Terry took that portrait of Gaga in her chair, Kaiser found it for me on his website.

I just had a really gross thought looking at this photo. Do you think Gaga and Uncle Terry are banging? There are not enough “ewwwwws” to accompany that. There are also rumors that Gaga is about to marry her boyfriend, actor Taylor Kinney. I don’t think of her as the faithful type, so it’s not like those two possibilities rule each other out.

Photo credit: NYPost and Terry’s Diary

We haven’t heard much from Lady Gaga in terms of her music or touring lately. Instead, most of the recent stories on her have concentrated on her good sense to turn down Lindsay Lohan for a loan and her outragous and deluded court statements against her former personal assistant.

At the moment, however, there’s a more somber matter at hand when it comes to Gaga. She’s cancelled a series of tour dates due to a lingering “show injury and chronic pain,” and I’m wondering if this has anything at all to do with her 2010 “borderline positive” diagnosis for lupus that followed a series of episodes where Gaga exhibited fitting symptoms such as joint pain, heart palpitations, and the like. If this has anything to do with lupus, then this is more serious than just a concert-associated injury. Gaga has announced the cancelled-tour news in a series of tweets, and it sounds pretty bad:

There’s an unfortunate announcement coming out right now, concerning myself and the Born This Ball. Im so sorry. I barely know what to say. I’ve been hiding a show injury and chronic pain for sometime now,over the past month it has worsened. I’ve been praying it would heal. I hid it from my staff, I didn’t want to disappoint my amazing fans. However after last nights performance I could not walk and still can’t. To the fans in Chicago Detroit & Hamilton I hope you can forgive me, as it is nearly impossible for me to forgive myself. Im devasted & sad. It will hopefully heal as soon as possible, I hate this. I hate this so much. I love you and Im sorry. Due to a case of synovitis, (severe inflammation of joints) Gaga’s doctor has ordered her to postpone show in Chicago, Detroit + Hamilton.

[From Lady Gaga's Twitter]

Look, I know Gaga can be a real pain in the ass, and her name has become synonymous with the term “publicity stunt.” But this doesn’t sound fake or made up, and if her inability to heal from her onstage injury has been complicated by her lupus, this can’t be good news at all. Clearly, she’s been worried over this physical matter to the point where she hid it from her team, and she can’t avoid it any longer because chronic pain is a really miserable thing. Hopefully, she’ll heal quickly and start annoying us again with her antics; and I’ll have worried over this for nothing.

Here’s Gaga performing in Bucharest, Romania last on 8/16/2012.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

Celebuzz has posted a copy of Lady Gaga’s tour rider, and normally her diva requirements wouldn’t rate a mention. We just heard Gaga rant and rave, on the record, against her ex assistant, a woman named Jennifer O’Neill, who is suing Gaga for unpaid overtime. In a sworn deposition, Gaga called O’Neill a “f’ing hood rat,” complained that O’Neill wanted to sleep in a bed, and called herself “the queen of the universe.” Considered in that context, Gaga’s tour rider sounds more demanding than the usual rock star requirements, but I could be wrong. Maybe most of the big superstars are like that and we just hear murmurs of it instead of confirmation direct from their mouths.

Here’s a little about Gaga’s rider, with the documents available at the source:

During her arduous two and a half-year Monster Ball Tour, the “Bad Romance” diva requested that her dressing room be decorated in a “glam rock” fashion and furnished with white leather couches, fresh roses and black satin drapes, according to the superstar’s rider obtained exclusively by Celebuzz.

The document, which was revealed in court documents during a six-hour deposition Gaga gave in a lawsuit involving her former assistant Jennifer O’Neill – which Celebuz was first to reveal in Aug. 2012, also noted that a “manquin [sic] with puffy pink public [sic] hair” be present in her backstage suite.

“[With] silver statins [sic] draped over the walls,” the document noted of her dressing room, adding that “old rock posters from her favorite artists [like] David Bowie, Queen, Elton John and Billy [sic] Holiday,” and “fan art that was kept on the road” also be hung around the room.

Other dressing room accoutrements include all the luxuries of home, plus one that has relaxing properties for the on-the-go superstar: 2 large fluffy lavendar [sic] towels; 2 lavendar [sic] hand towels; 2 lavendar [sic] wash cloths, which must be available to the pop star “at all times”; lavendar [sic] handsoap, body wash; face soap; 2 new seafoam luffas; small candle in the bathroom, fresh yellow, lavendar [sic] or white roses; and a steamer.

All of these requests are only a small fraction of Gaga’s complex — and costly — tour.

[From Celebuzz]

I want to know how people go about outfitting these tour rooms. Like how would you troubleshoot the problem of finding “pink pubic hair” for a mannequin? If you had to do it at the last minute, would you just buy a pink wig, cut a tuft out and then hot glue it to the dummy’s mons? Would Gaga throw a fit if it wasn’t sufficiently curly? In that case you might have to get a merkin and then dye it pink. I guess you could get a pink one online. I’m just saying that a significant amount of pre-planning is required to make sure Gaga’s dumb whims are satisfied. Bitch could bring her own pink merkin.

Over the weekend there was a follow-up story to the big reveal that Gaga is a nasty piece of work, basically. The woman suing Gaga, Jennifer O’Neill, revealed in court documents that Gaga forced her to sleep in the same bed. Supposedly there wasn’t any kinky business going on, but this confirms an older blind item that many people assumed was about Gaga. Now all that business about O’Neill requesting her own bed on the plane makes a lot more sense doesn’t it?

In the court documents, O’Neill stated “I felt it was required [to stay in the same room and bed as Gaga],” and added “Unlike anybody else on that tour, I did not have my own hotel room. I was not asked if I wanted my own hotel room. I had no privacy, no chance to talk to any family, no chance to talk to any friends, no chance to have sex if I wanted to have sex. There was no chance to do anything.” Unless Gaga said it was ok. I’m not saying O’Neill deserves overtime pay if it wasn’t in her contract, or even if she was technically underpaid for the type of work she did. Maybe she wanted to get all this information out to the public as well. In Gaga’s mind, O’Neill was hanging out with creeper Terry Richardson and enjoying expensive perks, so she has nothing to complain about. Gaga probably thought it was a huge privilege for O’Neill to sleep in the same bed instead of the suffocating experience it must have been.

Gaga on 1-25-13:

Most from 12-26-11. Credit: FameFlynet. One photo above credit: WENN.com

The NY Post has a new cover story on Lady Gaga today, with actual unbelievable quotes from Lady Gaga, taken during a sworn deposition in a lawsuit filed against her by a former personal assistant. The assistant, Jennifer O’Neill, is suing Gaga for $393,000, plus damages, for what she claims is 7,168 hours unpaid overtime. O’Niell made a salary of $75,000 a year. This story reminds me of the recent NY Times expose on Lindsay Lohan in that it’s impossible to do it justice in some excerpts, you really have to read it in its entirety because it’s epic. The amount of self aggrandizement from Gaga is astonishing, she’s so ridiculous it sounds like a parody. This is a window onto a level of narcissism and entitlement that I wouldn’t believe was possible if it didn’t come from a reliable source. I mean you could tell me Gaga was a diva and I’d believe you, but I honestly wouldn’t imagine she was such an awful one. Here are some excerpts, and again I can’t begin to do it justice, even though a big chunk of the story is below. All of these quotes are directly from Lady Gaga, given in a sworn deposition:

She’s not the queen of the universe, I am
Lady Gaga unloaded on a former personal assistant who’s suing her for overtime pay — blasting the woman in a sworn deposition as a “f–king hood rat who is suing me for money that she didn’t earn.”

“She’s just — she thinks she’s just like the queen of the universe.”

“And, you know what, she didn’t want to be a slave to one, because in my work and what I do, I’m the queen of the universe every day..

“This whole case is bulls–t, and you know it,” she added.

But under questioning, she conceded her decision not to pay overtime wasn’t based on labor laws, but is “actually based on a bubbly, good heart.”

Why Gaga doesn’t pay overtime
“I’m quite wonderful to everybody that works for me, and I am completely aghast to what a disgusting human being that you have become to sue me like this,” she said.

“Because she slept in Egyptian cotton sheets every night, in five-star hotels, on private planes, eating caviar, partying with [photographer] Terry Richardson all night, wearing my clothes, asking YSL [Yves Saint Laurent] to send her free shoes without my permission, using my YSL discount without my permission…”

“I expect there to be a certain level of, like, you know, knowledge and academia about, like, your job,” she said.

Gaga — who now has two personal assistants — said a good assistant “is somebody that can anticipate what you need before you need it, so they buy it for you, or they — they set it up for you.”

But Gaga said O’Neill failed at even the most basic of tasks, noting that “one of the biggest problems I had with Jen is that I felt like she didn’t enough lay out all my stuff for me” while traveling, because “there is 20 bags and there is only one me, and I can’t sift through everything.

It was stressful to Gaga to have to unpack luggage
“She would only open a couple of bags, and it was very stressful for me because then again on my off days I couldn’t really have a day off because, you know, I weigh 115 pounds, and I was trying to move these huge, big luggages all by myself in the room, and I did it all the time — by the way, she was asleep until 12:00 most of the time, so I was very often waking up and moving my own luggage and doing s–t by myself, and it was — it was a problem that I had,” she said.

And while previous assistants “would like set up my room, and I would know where my clothes were, I would know where my toothbrush was, I would know where my soap and everything was,” Gaga said that when O’Neill “got lazy she didn’t always do those things for me.

“I can’t walk down the street and go buy myself toiletries, I have to call security, I’ve got to call Jen or now I got to call Wendi, I’ve got to get a whole bunch of people together to help me fix the problem, which wouldn’t happen if she was doing her job properly on regular days,” Gaga said.

Gaga also portrayed O’Neill as an ingrate who took for granted the parties, “five-star hotels” and other luxuries — including “caviar, champagne and yachts” — that she got to enjoy as part of Gaga’ s entourage.

“It is, like, such an amazing luxury that I get to travel the world and have planes, she doesn’t even see what a luxury it is, but she thinks it’s owed to her for no reason,” the singer said.

Gaga is so wonderful to her employees
At one point, Gaga bragged about how the night before, her employees enjoyed a “beautiful $3,000 meal that I paid for” at Spiaggia in Chicago, billed as the only four-star Italian eatery in the Windy City.

Gaga said she picked up the tab “just because,” noting, “They were on their day off, and they all just wanted to be with me.”

Again why she doesn’t have to pay overtime
She also insisted that all her employees work only an eight-hour day — while also noting, “This job is a 9-to-5 job that is spaced out throughout the day…”

Rather than paying off O’Neill, Gaga said, “I’m going to give all the money that she wants to my employees that work hard for me now that deserve it.

“I’m not going to give it to her so she can go to Intermix and buy herself a new tube top,” the snippy superstar groused.

While the court papers don’t detail the start of their relationship, Gaga said it ended when, during a flight to Paris, O’Neill slept in one of two beds on Gaga’s jet.

This assistant was greedy for wanting to sleep in a bed
“Most of my assistants in the past always offered it to my mother or my family,” the singer said. “Jennifer was the first person that never offered it to anybody and always took it for herself.”

Afterward, “we partied until 5 in the morning, we got s–t hammered, I was crawling on the streets in Paris, I was screaming.

“Jennifer was there. She hung out all night with me and Terry Richardson, and tons of socialites from Paris, and she had the time of her life,” Gaga said.

The next morning, Gaga said, she “barely could talk” but had to fly back to America that night — “I mean, what a rock-star moment, right?”

But on the flight back, Gaga said, O’Neill insisted on sleeping in the second bed and “completely, like, flipped out at me, beyond belief” when “I told her no.”

“This is really inappropriate in front of Terry Richardson”
“I said, ‘Jennifer, this is really inappropriate in front of Terry Richardson,’ and she was like, ‘Don’t I get some sort of seniority because I’ve been here longer and I’m your friend?’ ” Gaga said.

“And I remember those words as clear as day, because when your best friend looks you in the eye and says ‘Why can’t I have that seat on your private plane, I’m your friend,’ the first thing I thought was ‘You’re not my f–king friend.’ ”

“You are not my f–king friend.”

[From The NY Post]

“This is really inappropriate in front of Terry Richardson.” As if that guy is known for even a modicum of decorum.

The first couple of lines kind of sum the whole story up. Gaga is pissed because her assistant overstepped her bounds, because an employee thought she was Gaga’s equal and wanted to be treated the same and paid overtime. No one is Gaga’s equal, she’s “The Queen of The Universe,” which is exactly how she phrased it. Only Gaga’s fame is waning in comparison to how popular she once was. That’s got to make her even more angry, entitled and bitchy. I’m amazed. What’s that saying – you meet the same people on the way up as you do on the way down? I’m sure this isn’t the only person that Gaga has alienated. Don’t question the benevolent dictator or she’ll get very, very mad. How dare you want to sleep in a bed? Aren’t you grateful for the scraps she throws you from her banquets? This woman is from another planet entirely.

Update: A lot of you are noting that the assistant may be just as out of line for asking for overtime and expecting perks as part of her very well paid job. I don’t disagree, I just got so sidetracked by how ludicrous Gaga was.

Thanks to A for the tip!

Lady Gaga is shown out shopping on 1-21-13 (floral dress) and out in London on 10-8-12 (witchy). Credit: Fame Flynet

Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga hung out once upon a time, last summer at the Chateau Marmont. There were rumors that Gaga offered to settle Lohan’s outstanding bill there, but that Lohan turned her down, eventually either convincing Marmont owner Andre Balazs to forgive the debt, or blackmailing Liz & Dick producers into paying it off, reports vary.

So Gaga wisely never gave Lohan money, and it’s not likely she ever will. Kaiser reminded me that Gaga busted Lohan with a pair of her earrings, lifted without her permission of course, after Lohan tweeted a photo of her jewelry cache/heist. Gaga tweeted to Lohan “ummmm are those my earrings??? this is awkward…:)” Not as awkward as when Lindsay later asked Gaga for a half a million dollar “loan.” The gall of this crackhead. Gaga is not stupid, and she didn’t even deign to personally respond to Lohan, she just had her people shut it down.

After accepting that $100,000 loan from Charlie Sheen to pay taxes… LiLo’s back pleading with Mega Gaga to pop her that half-mil now! Counting back rent on a BevHills mansion, plus huge legal bills from her string of arrests, insiders estimate she’s on the hook for a whopping $150 million bucks! But here’s the kicker: Gaga… just sent word through peeps that this time, bank’s closed! Says a close Lilo pal: “Gaga said that she just can’t help, but gave no explanation. Lindsay was especially hurt Lady G sent the message through one of her people – instead of picking up the phone and telling her directly. Lindsay was really counting on Gaga’s loan to get her back on her feet, but she’ll have to look elsewhere for a bailout.”

[From The National Enquirer, Mike Walker's Column, print edition, February 11, 2013]

$150 million in debt?! I hope that’s wildly overestimated. So Lohan is broke yet again and living with her moms on Long Island, after ruining yet another rental property in LA and trashing a million in furnishings given to her by a home design show. This woman could have bought several very nice homes and paid cash for all of them over the years, but instead she’s blown her money on drugs, partying and luxury goods that she leaves lying on the floor. The cracken lives like a hoarder, she’s lived that way for years. Except fur coats, stolen diamonds and Louboutins are strewn all over the floor. Once the cops responded to a call at her home and assumed it was ransacked, it was such a mess. An officer stated so on the record to the AP. That was in 2009 and nothing has changed for her.

Of course Gaga isn’t going to “lend” Lohan 1/2 a million dollars for her to blow on lines and more hoarded Hermes purses. The only people lending Lohan money now are people like Charlie Sheen and some other rich benefactors, who know exactly what they’re getting out of it. It’s amazing to me that people can go broke on over seven figures a year.

This makes me wonder – if Lohan got the money from Gaga would she have paid Shawn Holley’s legal bills? I doubt it, she probably fired Holley because she didn’t want to take a plea deal and go to rehab, not because she couldn’t pay her bill. Mounds of debt have never stopped Lohan before. She’s nothing if not entitled.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Kelly Osbourne is kind of a conundrum to me. On one hand, she’s the perfect example of nepotism in Hollywood, and I don’t quite understand why she’s part of the “Fashion Police” program because her own taste in clothing can be atrocious at times. Also, I still don’t get the lavender hair thing even if Kelly would probably respond that I have housewife hair. At the moment, I actually have a really bad Drew Barrymore ombre situation going on, but all that should change by this weekend if I can convince my ass to do something about it.

Conversely, I kind of dig that Kelly has forged her own separate identity outside of her famous dad, and admire that she’s lost so much weight in recent years and gotten really healthy. Still, Kelly insists that people still call her fat all the time, and the very worst offenders (on Twitter, I suspect) are Lady Gaga fans. It’s really no coincidence that Gaga labels her followers as “little monsters” because that’s exactly how they act. Interestingly enough, Gaga is supposed to be so anti-bully, but (as Kaiser has pointed out), she has no problem letting her fans attack Adele for her weight (Gaga even does this herself to a lesser degree). So I have no problem believing that Gaga’s fans are doing the same thing to Kelly:

Kelly Osbourne has been open about her struggles with her weight in the past, but even though she’s in a good place now — both physically and mentally — some naysayers are still itching to bring her down.

“I’m the thinnest I’ve ever been and the healthiest I’ve ever been. The totally insane thing is that I’m a UK size four to six and people still say I’m fat,” she said in a recent interview with the UK’s Fabulous magazine. “I get called fat all the time. A big fat wh-re.”

“Lady Gaga’s fans are the worst,” she continued. “They’ve said I should kill myself, that they hope I get raped. I mean, it’s crazy but I’ve had this all my life and I just try and ignore it.”

Gaga’s fans were particularly incensed when the outspoken red carpet host mused that the pop singer, 26, might be pregnant after her noticeable weight gain at the 2012 Grammys.

“I have no filter,” Osbourne said. “I say what I think and that’s it. I actually think she’s a good singer but she has the worst fans in the world and you have a responsibility to stop that. I think you do anyway.”

Osbourne, 28, famously lost 65 pounds during her spin on the dance floor as a competitor on Dancing With the Stars in 2009. She’s kept up a healthy lifestyle ever since with a combination of workouts and a more regulated diet.

“I lost weight with the dancing and by actually eating properly,” she told the magazine. “I haven’t put it back on. I still exercise every day, even just for 15 minutes, but I’m careful with what I eat, I read the labels.”

And the former reality show star has a little help from her chef boyfriend, Matthew Mosshart, as well. The vegan chef helps to keep Osbourne’s insecurities in check, she said.

“He’s amazing. I couldn’t believe that he truly liked me because I never think people ever could, but I’m so happy,” she shared with the magazine. “I don’t think I’ve ever really known what love is like before.”

[From Us Weekly]

Kelly seems to project a healthy attitude towards the harassment from Gaga’s monsters, but it still has to bug a lot to witness such nasty remarks. Why do women (and even some men) insist upon tearing each other down over weight issues? It’s so awful, counterproductive, and just downright mean. Kelly looks great.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Jack White covers the January issue of Esquire UK, and the cover itself is so uncharacteristically simplistic for the magazine (which has, to be perfectly honest, favored cluttered messes of late) that one cannot help but pay attention to the main attraction. Then again, I adore Jack White not only for his music (especially the White Stripes as well as those neverending side projects) but also for his no-nonsense attitude. He’s also a very chivalrous guy and once leapt into an audience to rescue a girl who had fainted before she could get stampeded by the crowd. Can you imagine waking up, looking up at those gorgeous curls, and then realizing that you are inexplicably in Jack White’s arms?

Anyway, Jack not only looks like his usual pale, weird-ass self in this Esquire shoot but also lets us know what he’s really thinking about today’s trends in music and television. For one thing, he’s completely disgusted with Clint Eastwood’s decision to appear in that dumb reality show at the behest of his famewore wife, Dina Ruiz (who may or may not be Mrs. Eastwood for much longer). Jack also takes aim at social media and (yes!) the artifice that is Lady Gaga. Here are some excerpts:

He’s not a fan of reality shows: “The goal of modern celebrity is to make yourself into the lowest common denominator, ‘Hey, I’m a guy just like you. I like beer, a football game.’ Especially in reality television, you’ll see what people will go so far as to make a fool out of themselves just to prove that. I don’t want to see a reality show about Michelangelo. You know, There’s no reason to put yourself in a position that makes things completely un-special.”

He doesn’t like Twitter at all: “I think the only people who should have Twitter accounts are comedians. Because it’s all about one-liners. I would use it if Conan O’Brien or Reggie Watts or Stephen Colbert were to walk into a room and tell me one joke and leave. But you don’t want Gore Vidal telling you, ‘I’m doing my dishes right now.’”

He hates Lady Gaga’s music: “I don’t think she lives it because it’s all artifice… It’s all image with no meaning behind it. You can’t sink your teeth into it. It’s a sound bite. It’s very of this age, because that’s what people want. They want a Twitter line, a Jpeg, an MP3.”

[From Esquire UK]

Finally, someone inside the music industry has the balls to say what many of us civilians have already realized — Lady Gaga is a vaccum. A non-entity. She’s like the obnoxious James Franco of pop music. Those two should really get married and make each other disappear. I think I’d be happy if that happened, and I know that Jack White would enjoy it too. Then I could marry Jack White, and we could have very pale babies together! Sigh.

Photos courtesy of Esquire UK

Lady Gaga spent the long holiday weekend in Peru with her family. I wouldn’t have known that, but Gaga’s little monsters are like the FBI, tracking the mother monster’s movements minute-by-minute. So they knew she was in Peru, and they knew which house she was renting. So the little monsters came to play with the mother monster – they hid out in trashcans, they sang, they rang the doorbell and they broke into the garage. Lady Gaga tweeted about it, and she sounded amused:

Lady Gaga is no stranger to strange occurrences, but even she couldn’t anticipate what happened on Thursday, Nov. 22, when she woke up in the middle of the night to raid the fridge for Thanksgiving leftovers — and discovered 35 uninvited guests hiding out on the property where she and her family were staying in Peru.

The “Cake” singer, 26, revealed the incident on Twitter early Friday morning, explaining that security cameras had caught her new Peruvian friends in the garage. (Gaga was in Lima for a concert on Friday, Nov. 23, and spent Thanksgiving day with Peruvian girls who had been sexually abused and lived at a shelter in the poor neighborhood of Lurin.)

“#MONSTERFACT When Gaga is asleep, try to break into the garage, sing loud as possible + ring the doorbell repeatedly,” she wrote, along with the hashtags “#happeningnow” and “#badkids.” A few minutes later, she elaborated: “Thanksgiving story: woke up for leftovers in kitchen (naked) — stumbled on security camera revealing 35 monsters in my garage. #why #iloveu”

Seemingly unfazed, the star joked, “I tried to figure out how to slide stuffing under the door, but there’s no cat-flap.”

Gaga’s relationship with her fans — a.k.a. Little Monsters — has always been unique. Earlier in the day, she sent a message to her nearly 32 million followers on Twitter, thanking them for their unwavering support.

“Happy Thanksgiving Twitter!” she tweeted. “I’m thankful for all of you, the messages of positivity u send me everyday lift me & make me stronger.”

[From Us Weekly]

According to media outlets, Gaga did not contact the police or anything, which is pretty cool of her. I guess the monsters thought she would be cooler, maybe, and invite them in for Thanksgiving leftovers. But still, at least they didn’t get arrested.

I’m including a few photos of the newly peroxided Gaga, which she posted on her Twitter. I guess she was tired of the “Louis Vuitton brown” which she’d had for several months. I kind of liked the brown, though. This hyper-blonde makes her look A) more Madonna-ish, B) like a drag queen, and C) like she has chola brows.

Photos courtesy of Lady Gaga’s Twitter, WENN, Fame/Flynet.