Yesterday, we heard how Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade because they running a commercial in which a talking baby named Lindsay is referred to as a “milkaholic”. Lindsay is suing for $100 million. Because that’s how much this enormous, horrible, terrible “milkaholic” insult is worth to her. And because she’s only known by one name, like Madonna. And Lindsay has practically trademarked that name, right? Yeah.

Anyway, I know some of you want the Lindsay stories to end, but this sh-t just gets even more delusional/funnier. This time the NY Post got an interview with Dina about this lawsuit, and I can’t even describe the hilarity that ensued. Like when Dina says that E-Trade are “little babies” and that they’re “mocking another child who’s just trying to survive Hollywood, basically.” Oh, that “basically” is so important, isn’t it? It’s like Dina saying, “This is worse than the Holocaust… in essence.”

Lindsay Lohan is no “milkaholic,” but she does cry like a baby. The “Mean Girls” star was left sobbing uncontrollably when she saw an E-Trade ad on Super Bowl Sunday about a ditsy, boyfriend-stealing infant named Lindsay she believed was created in her likeness, her irate mom told The Post yesterday.

“She said, ‘Mommy, help me. This is wrong. How can they do this?’ ” Dina Lohan said of a tearful phone call with her 23-year-old daughter after the big game. La Lohan had just set her peepers on an ad for E-trade that features a pair of babies video chatting about a boyfriend-stealing tyke — and became “extremely upset” because she believed the spot was taking a jab at her hard-partying ways.

“They’re little babies doing this, mocking another child who’s just trying to survive Hollywood, basically,” Dina Lohan said.

In the ad for the financial-services company, a baby girl is upset with her boyfriend for not calling the previous night. After the boy apologizes, saying he was diversifying his portfolio, the girl asks suspiciously: “And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?”

“Lindsay?” the boy asks sheepishly before another baby girl pokes her head into the frame and asks, “Milk-a-what?”

Lohan filed a lawsuit in Nassau County on Monday seeking an eye-popping $100 million in damages for her pain and suffering.

“I’m just basically glad I took a stand. I’m not going to let them do this to us anymore,” Dina Lohan said of the “horrible” and “mean” ad.

She said that the ad was clearly aimed at her daughter because unlike other stars, her daughter’s first name is synonymous with the “Herbie Fully Loaded” actress.

“Everyone knows Lindsay, like Cher or Madonna,” Dina Lohan said. But Grey Group, which produced the ad, insists that — unlike Oprah or Cher — Lindsay is a popular baby name. In fact, company spokesman Chris Brown said that someone working on the spot shared the name as well.

Lindsay’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, has requested an injunction to have the ad yanked. E-Trade declined to comment until it could thoroughly examine the court papers.

[From The New York Post]

Jesus, Dina is really the funny one of this family, isn’t she? I wonder if she quoted Lindsay accurately: “Mommy, help me. This is wrong. How can they do this?” ABOUT A COMMERCIAL. Featuring a talking baby. Named Lindsay. For the love of God.

By the way, to any lawyers who may be commenting on this story… won’t Lindsay’s lawyers have to prove not only that “Lindsay” in synonymous with “The Blohan That We Know and Love”, but that “milkaholic” is actually an insult? Worthy of damages?

Dina Lohan in NY on February 23, 2010. Dina & Lindsay on June 4, 2006. Credit: WENN.

Here is Lindsay Lohan at the Chanel show today, in Paris. What. The. Hell?!? Chanel? First John Galliano, and now Karl Lagerfeld? Does France not have access to The Crackhead Diaries? Oh, by the way, CB asked me to stop calling Lindsay a “crackhead” all the time, something about “she’s probably on opiates anyway” and how CB “worries that Lindsay is going to die soon.” Which I understand, I guess - even though I think Lindsay has reached “cockroach level” in her survival of endless sketchy situations. So from here on out, I’m going to try to keep the “crackhead” stuff to the bare minimum. Cough cough crackhead cough. Excuse me. I just had something in my throat.

Anyway, so Lindsay is at Chanel, and before that, Kenzo, and before that, Galliano. But she didn’t go to Ungaro! That’s because it’s looking more and more like they fired her. Women’s Wear Daily got Lindsay to confirm that she’s no longer Ungaro’s “artistic advisor” but check out how she said it:

Actress Lindsay Lohan confirmed to WWD that she is no longer part of Ungaro’s design team. At Monday afternoon’s Kenzo show, Lohan was asked why she hadn’t been at Ungaro earlier that morning.

She replied: “Because I don’t work for them anymore.” Prompted for more specifics, she noted, “There’s legal things going on; I can’t really discuss it.”

After hiring Lohan last year, former Ungaro CEO and President Mounir Moufarrige told WWD, “Designer-led fashion is likely not to be enough. It’s a slow process going the traditional route.” Moufarrige stepped down last December and declined to comment on Lohan and Ungaro when reached on Monday.

[From HuffPo]

Interesting, huh? Do you think she’s suing Ungaro? I think she’s contemplating it, at the very least. Ungaro should be grateful there are no talking babies in the situation (other than the ones Lindsay is hallucinating). “There’s legal things going on” - I guess it could mean that she’s under threat of a lawsuit, maybe for breach of contract? Or confidentiality, maybe? Here’s another question: Did Lindsay jump or was she pushed? My theory (hope) is that she was pushed out when Ungaro came under new management. And because Lindsay doesn’t have another job, and Opiate Eyes can’t be choosy. However, Lindsay did throw Ungaro’s designer under the bus several months ago, so maybe it’s Lindsay who thought the association was bad. To which I can only say “Bitch, please.” There’s more to this story, I can feel it.

Whenever I see photos of Lindsay scowling nowadays, I think, “My mother was right, she made that face so many times, her face froze that way.”

These are photos of Lindsay Lohan in Paris yesterday, attending the Kenzo fashion show. She’s wearing fur, by the way. And she continues to look like she’s getting the good sh-t in Paris. Anyway, it looks like the good sh-t might have made her totally delusional (or maybe not), because Lindsay has decided to sue E-Trade, according to a report that seems to have started in the New York Post. Apparently, Lindsay got pissed when she saw a new E-Trade commercial (below), one of those that feature talking babies. Anyway, the boy baby is talking to his girlfriend baby, explaining why he didn’t call her. He’s coming up with excuses (he was on E-Trade last night), and then the girlfriend asks him, “And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” It’s pretty funny, actually:

Here’s Gawker’s take on it:

Lindsay Lohan has gone off the deep end of paranoid narcissism. A Super Bowl ad featuring talking babies that refers to a “milkaholic” named “Lindsay” is about her, she says, and she’s suing for $100M.

Lindsay filed suit yesterday, the New York Post reports. Her lawyer explains, “Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit. They used the name Lindsay. They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

“Subliminal message”? Is that a joke? Though it is my job to read and spread gossip, this is the first I’ve heard about the above party baby secretly representing the girl ocasionally known as Blowhan.

Then again, last time I thought Lindsay was punking the press, it turned out she really was starting a leggings brand inspired by Marilyn Monroe that sometimes featues built-in kneepads. Fame does terrible things to young minds.

[From Gawker]

How could a milkaholic baby named Lindsay be an allusion to our own precious Blowhan?!? I thought she didn’t do drugs, right, Lindsay? But seriously, the commercial is so much funnier when you’ve got in your head that the baby is some sort of crackhead avatar. I mean, obviously, it’s a baby, and babies doing crack aren’t funny. Which is funny, because Lindsay is delusional. And it just goes round and round!

Although, I will say this, though - out of all the possible names to use for a “milkaholic” why choose “Lindsay”? Is there something there?

Lindsay Lohan in Paris on March 8, 2010. Credit: WENN.

I think Lindsay Lohan must have a really good dealer in Paris, because she looks cracked out of her skull in these photos, taken yesterday as Lindsay sat front-row at John Galliano’s Fall/Winter collection runway show. Previously, it was reported that Galliano’s people didn’t let Crackface into the Dior show on Friday, which I’m not sure was the case. I think they initially rejected her, but she was still invited to the party. And then she got to come to Galliano’s show on Sunday. Which is a pretty good deal for Lindsay, considering she’s not worthy of any of it, and she doesn’t care enough to show up anywhere sober.

Meanwhile, most people thought that the whole point of Lindsay’s trip to Paris was all about showing up for the new collection of Ungaro, where she was thought to be the “artistic director”. When the Ungaro collection showed last season, most people thought is was the ugliest, most ridiculous stuff ever - lots of pasties and crack-wear. And yet, Lindsay remained as “artistic director”. Or so it seemed. Lindsay didn’t show up for this morning’s Ungaro show, and Angaro’s owner told Women’s Wear Daily (via HuffPo) that Lindsay is “not involved in this collection”:

After last season’s collection of hearts and pasties, actress Lindsay Lohan had nothing to do with Monday morning’s Emanuel Ungaro show, WWD reports. Ungaro owner Asim Abdullah told WWD Lohan is “not involved in this collection,” and although she turned up in other designers’ front rows, Lohan didn’t attend the Ungaro show. There’s no word yet on whether she still holds the Artistic Adviser title.

[From HuffPo]

Man, I hope she was fired. But I wish it had been done more publicly. Or wouldn’t it be interesting if Lindsay actually thought she was still the artistic director all this time, and Ungaro just strung it on her, like “Actually, you’re fired.”

Wouldn’t you fire this crackface?

I know we’ve already done one “Lindsay Lohan, Crackhead, Part —” story today, but I was honestly shocked when I saw these photos. Not that Lindsay’s face looks any more or less crack’d than any other time, but because of where she is. This is Lindsay going into John Galliano’s Dior Fall-Winter 2010 fashion show today in Paris. John Friggin’ Galliano has Lindsay at his shows! Dior! This is the label Cate Blanchett wears. This is the label Charlize Theron wears. This is the label Marion Cotillard wears. Get it? This is the label Oscar winners wear. This label is not for crackheads. They should stamp that on all the Dior clothing.

*Update: Sorry, I just saw this two seconds after I published: Lindsay was denied entrance to Dior! Hurray for a fashion house that denies crackheads! These photos are of Lindsay walking away from the Dior show after being denied. That’s why her crackface looks so mad!

Meanwhile, regarding Lindsay’s crack shenanigans last night when she was pretending to be a deejay, apparently the British tabloids put her together romantically with the dude, Gareth, who was trying to cover for her drunk ass. Lindsay, of course, had to crack tweet about it. I swear to God, this girl creates crack drama out of thin air.

Lindsay Lohan is standing up against rumors regarding her romantic life. The starlet is denying a report from a British tabloid claiming she has been dating a DJ — and no, it’s not her ex, Samantha Ronson.

The British tabloid reported Lilo was spotted with British DJ Gareth Morgan – aka DJ Geno, Access Hollywood reports.

The pair were allegedly getting cozy and apparently “canoodling” at a London nightclub.
Now, Lindsay is taking action! She Tweeted early this morning, “I’m NOT dating him. lies lies lies.”

However, Linds isn’t standing too firm on this one. She has since deleted the Tweet!

Lindsay’s message had been re-Tweeted, but it seems strange that she deleted it.
Makes you wonder! But most likely there is only one DJ that can claim the starlet’s heart, Sam.

“We love each other,” Lindsay recently told Britain’s The Sun. “We might reconcile the relationship, maybe. I don’t know.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Yeah, I doubt she’s dating him. She probably offered to suck his d-ck, but that’s not the same as “dating”. Especially since most men are now at the point of saying “Thanks but no thanks” to that offer from Lindsay.

So how is she at Dior again? Haha, she’s not!

Lindsay Lohan in Paris on March 5, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin.

Do you remember how Lindsay Lohan announced she was moving to London because she loves chunnels? “Chunnels” being some kind of cracked-out code word for “whatever drugs people will give me”. Anyway, Lindsay loves London, and after spending some serious party-time in LA last week, she returned to London and has been up to her usual crack shenanigans. Last night, Lindsay apparently got so high she thought she was Sam Ronson, and she started “deejaying” at a Nokia X6 launch party. Unfortunately, as in all things, Lindsay failed. Sources tell Radar that Lindsay “was clearly struggling to play the set on her own… She seemed like a total drunken, incoherent mess…It was really embarrassing to watch.” Was she playing her own music? Ten bucks says she was.

The reviews are in and the consensus is unanimous - don’t give up the day job (whatever that may be) Lindsay Lohan!

Lindsay is only 23-years-old but has already worked as an actress, a singer, a model and a fashion designer and now the troubled starlet is trying her hand as a celebrity DJ, but as RadarOnline.com has learned the reviews are less than stellar.

Lindsay took to the decks Wednesday night at the Nokia X6 Launch party in London and despite being guided by established and respected British DJ gareth Geno, the result was a mess.

One partygoer exclusively tells RadarOnline.com, “Lindsay was clearly struggling to play the set on her own and had to ask gareth for help. She seemed like a total drunken, incoherent mess.”

The source says that Lindsay’s “awful song choices and lack of experience” created a danger of clearing the room out. “It was really embarrassing to watch,” the eyewitness says. “You could tell she didn’t didn’t know what she was doing.”

The source says that Lindsay was struggling so much that she was even forced to finish her set early, and furthermore, “Lindsay constantly had a drink in her hand the whole time she was playing.” And if that wasn’t bad enough, the source says that Lindsay kept breaching security laws by attempting to smoke indoors throughout the (brief) set.

Looks like Lindsay’s DJ ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson doesn’t have to worry too much about the competition!

[From Radar]

Who knew that deejaying was an actual skill? Actually, I did. I used to deejay. Not huge parties or clubs like Sam Ronson or anything, but silly stuff in college, and it’s actually harder than it looks. It’s not rocket science, but if you’re drunk or high, it’s totally a challenge. So, it looks like Lindsay failed at yet another career backup, just like she failed at fashion and “leggings designer” and “thief”.

Photos from Lindsay Lohan’s spread in Purple Magazine, courtesy of Egotastic.

Fresh off of last week’s epic two-part interview in The Sun, Lindsay Lohan decided to fart out another series of delusional, cracked-out quotes, this time to OK Magazine UK. She gave them an “exclusive” interview in which the most notable quote is “Well, the second two times I went into rehab, to be honest with you, I had to go because it was a court thing. It was an obligation. I had to do it to stay out of getting any jail time. And I took responsibility for that. And it was like a vacation.” A vacation? Crackhead, please. Oh, wait, there’s also this gem: “I write a lot and it’s very therapeutic for me because then I can see what’s happening on paper. I’ve started writing a book. It’s going to take a while, all my life experiences. I started writing it a year ago. There’s a lot to put down, you know?” Like she’s f-cking Hemingway.

LINDSAY Lohan has exclusively revealed her trips to rehab have been like going on “vacation”. Actress Lindsay Lohan, who has been to rehab three times, told OK! Magazine her stints in the centre were like a “vacation” for her because they were positive experiences.

She told us: “Well, the second two times I went into rehab, to be honest with you, I had to go because it was a court thing. It was an obligation. I had to do it to stay out of getting any jail time. And I took responsibility for that. And it was like a vacation.”

“I love meeting new people and seeing what they’ve been experiencing. That’s what I go through in different characters. And I met some great people.”

“It was a nice time to shut everyone off for a while because there was so much noise. There were some things I had done… I had put myself in situations which I probably should have thought through.”

“But it was a positive experience. When I was there it was like, there’s a lot of people that I know who should really be here now, not for drugs or alcohol abuse - just to learn about life. The world is nuts.”

And Lindsay says that despite her alcohol abuse in the past, she still occasionally has a celebratory drink, admitting: “It depends on the situation. I mean, yes…”

But the 23-year-old says her drinking was never as bad as it was made out to be.

When we asked if she’s careful around booze, she added: “Yeah. I mean, mind you, my drinking was never more than… I mean, here’s the thing, I have friends who would get so wasted at college. I have never been one to get drunk and act like that, that’s not who I am.

“When I was in school I didn’t drink, or even try one, until I was probably 18. Literally, and I’m not lying about that. I’m just some sort of a target for some reason! I’m made out all the time to be the bad guy!”

Lindsay says time in rehab helped her to gain control of her life – and she’s now penning a book about her experiences.

She told us: “I write a lot and it’s very therapeutic for me because then I can see what’s happening on paper. I’ve started writing a book. It’s going to take a while, all my life experiences. I started writing it a year ago. There’s a lot to put down, you know?”

[From OK Magazine UK]

Eh. Lainey Gossip had an interesting theory about this wave of Lindsay Lohan interviews - Lainey thinks that Lindsay may be doing “exclusive” interviews as a way to get publications to put damaging stories on the back-burner. It’s a solid theory, considering people like Tiger Woods have done it. But this is Lindsay Lohan. What is so f-cking damaging to her rep at this point? A sex tape? It’s Lindsay, of course there’s a sex tape floating around. Drugs? Ah, YEAH. We already know that. So what could it possibly be? Nothing. What’s infinitely more likely, in my opinion, is that Lindsay is just giving interviews for the hell of it, to be relevant, because she thinks people care.

By the way, these photos are of Lindsay looking cracked-out at the Roberto Cavalli show in Milan. Cavalli himself was all over her. It’s pretty gross.

Lindsay Lohan at the Cavalli show in Milan on February 28, 2010. Credit: WENN. Photo of Lindsay Lohan courtesy of OK UK.

My thoughts about the celebrity media coverage of various hot messes, train wrecks and breakdowns is this: you know when People Magazine starts calling you out, there’s real trouble. Such is the case with this mysteriously direct calling-out of Lindsay Lohan in an online article on People today. People dissects Lindsay’s actions and interviews over the past two weeks - including her two part interview in The Sun, where she lied about her drug usage (Part 1) and claimed that she was still in love with Sam Ronson, and that if she couldn’t be with Sam, she would go back to “boys” (Part 2). They also note that Lindsay has gone out partying every night for the past two weeks, no matter if she was in London (where she’s apparently moving, because of her love of chunnels), to Atlantic City, to LA. They even document some very tabloidy behind-the-scenes drama where Sam Ronson asked a club’s security to protect her from Lindsay’s cracked-out shenanigans. It’s all pretty hardcore:

Lindsay Lohan recently declared she is healthy and happier and has put her substance-abuse problems behind her – but her recent behavior may suggest otherwise.

After trips to London and Atlantic City, N.J., Lohan, 23, is back in Los Angeles, where she has been out late for three consecutive nights.

On Tuesday, the starlet arrived at Bardot Hollywood after 1 a.m., where her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson, 32, was deejaying. According to a source, Ronson asked security to stay by her side until Lohan left the club. “She wouldn’t leave, and at the end of the night, you could tell she was waiting for Sam,” the source says, noting that Lohan texted her ex, who ignored the message.

“They never talked at all, though, and Sam was definitely avoiding [her],” the source says.

A similar scene played out the night before – this time at Teddy’s inside the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, where Ronson was also deejaying. Lohan, who asked for a table near Ronson and was denied, was “a total mess,” a witness says. “She looked really drunk when she arrived and seemed so out of it,” the witness tells PEOPLE.

The actress was out again on Wednesday night, acting “aloof” at West Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont – though this time her ex-girlfriend wasn’t anywhere in sight.

‘She Needs Help’
Friends of Lohan are concerned about her recent partying.

“She needs help. She needs to solve her problems,” a source close to the star says. “She’s just not taking care of herself.”

In a recent interview with Britain’s Sun, Lohan admitted to using cocaine in the past, and pointed a finger at her father, Michael Lohan. “I was only aware of cocaine because of my dad,” Lohan told the paper. “I was terrified of it. But I tried it because I was stubborn, stupid, and wanted to see what it was like.”

And she maintains that her substance use is behind her. “Now I’m in a place where I don’t need to use anything,” she told the paper, “and I can feel emotions because I choose to.”

She also told the newspaper that she drinks alcohol in moderation. “I’m allowed to drink now, but I know my limits,” she said, adding that she sees a therapist every two weeks and attends weekly alcohol education lessons.

Her Father’s Concerned
Michael Lohan, tells PEOPLE he’s concerned about his daughter still – and wants to get her help. “The reason Lindsay tries to drown her sorrows and mask her pain was because of my divorce from her mother,” he says, “which in turn tore her apart.”

Upon Lindsay Lohan’s return to Los Angeles this past weekend, a source tells PEOPLE, “Her dad showed up at her apartment in L.A., and Lindsay alerted security to make him leave. She is dealing with her attorney to stop him from harassing her.”

Amid all the drama, Kristi Kaylor, who runs Lohan’s 6126 clothing collection, scoffs at the notion that the starlet is in trouble. “She is very supportive of 6126 and very hands on,” Kaylor tells PEOPLE. “She just finished styling and modeling in the photo shoot for the debut fall collection. I have to say, I was extremely impressed with Lindsay and think she is a very talented designer.”

Globetrotting
On Thursday, Lohan was expected in Milan, to attend an Armani-hosted art event. Lohan is also expected at the designer’s Friday and Saturday runway shows.

“She’s going from hemisphere to hemisphere from party to party,” says a source close to Lohan. “She needs to slow down a little bit and take time for herself and really figure out where she’s going to do.”

[From People]

I’m beyond caring about what Lindsay is doing to herself. She’s had ample time and opportunity to take a step back, to get help, to get away, to find her career. She chose not to, instead choosing a life of partying, drugs, enablers, and denial. What’s scary is how she survives - and even thrives - in that environment. It’s spooky.

Lindsay Lohan out in LA on February 24, 2010, credit: David Tonnesson/Pacific Coast News

You remember Lindsay Lohan’s epic, delusional, lie-filled interview with The Sun yesterday? Well, it turns out the interview is a two-parter. Gah! Sidenote: Rumor is that The Sun paid a pretty penny for these interviews. Anyway, yesterday’s piece was all about Lindsay and drugs. Namely, about how she doesn’t do them because of her three rehab visits or whatever. I couldn’t follow her cracked-out train of thought. In Part 2 of the interview, we get to hear about Lindsay’s relationship with Samantha Ronson, whom Lindsay claims she’s still in love with. I actually believe that - I think Sam is/was Lindsay’s great love, and that Lindsay pretty much self-destructed during the course of that relationship, probably because Lindsay’s so f-cked up about drugs, love, sex, self-esteem, family and life in general. Here’s the Sam part of the interview… and Lindsay also discusses Calum Best, Colin Farrell and Heath Ledger:

LINDSAY LOHAN today tells all about her lesbian relationship with SAMANTHA RONSON - and says she wants her lover back. The Hollywood tearaway had a fiery 18-month fling with DJ Sam. It ended last April after the pair were frequently pictured fighting and crying in public.

Bisexual Lindsay, who has had three stints in rehab, says she will never love another woman and plans to go back to BOYS if she can’t win Sam back.

Mean Girls star Lindsay says: “I never really thought about women before, it kind of just happened with Samantha. It surprised me. We’re still in touch. We live in the same apartment building in LA and see each other often. She has always been one of my best friends. If I wasn’t with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She’s the only woman I’ve been attracted to. We love each other. We might reconcile the relationship, maybe. I don’t know.”

Former child actress Lindsay - nicknamed Li-Lo - admits her relationship with Sam was “passionate”. She also reveals they split because Sam’s family and friends did not approve of her and the way her life is constantly played out in front of the paparazzi.

She says: “There have been a lot of ups and downs. Her family is very involved in her relationships and that was difficult. I think Samantha was growing as a celebrity and a musician and I think that might have scared her family. But I’ve always been her biggest supporter and, yeah, I love her.”

“All the fighting stuff was just because all her friends had got involved and made me an outcast, which wasn’t fair to Samantha. I think it was a jealousy thing in terms of her becoming more famous than the rest of them. She kind of does what she wants now. It’s changed, so who’s to say we won’t be together again?”

Lindsay will say little on the men in her life, admitting only that former fling Colin Farrell was “a long time ago”, and that Calum Best was “over really quickly and not worth talking about. Next!”.

When I ask about Heath Ledger, the late Batman star she was rumoured to be secretly dating when he died of an overdose in January 2008, she goes quiet and says only: “That’s kind of a touchy subject. Sorry. He was a really good friend to me for a long time and it was really sad when that happened.”

But she is happy to talk about Sam and claims most of their time together was happy and peaceful, despite dozens of pictures of Lindsay looking worse for wear after nights out with Sam ended in tears.

She says: “Maybe I was upset, or we had a tiff about something stupid. A picture can tell a thousand different words and lies. They want the negative, they want the drama. They want to say, ‘Oh Lindsay’s distraught, here we go again, should Sam leave?’. Mostly it was great. Everyone has ups and downs, it’s normal. But in front of the public eye they’re going to take the downs and make it seem like they’re a million times worse. That comes with the territory.”

“It was a big deal for me because I’ve never had a relationship as public as that, especially being with a girl for the first time. That was really scary for me. But I didn’t care because I love her.”

[From The Sun]

The interviewer from The Sun (Emma Cox) notes several little details about Lindsay: Lindsay’s life is chaotic, she’s very flaky and keeps people waiting; she chain-smokes, and she “picks at a plate of fish” (so she’s not eating). Lindsay also “looks older than her 23 years” and she’s “tiny”. Cox also notes that “none of us are particularly taken with Ms Lohan…But when you hear about her childhood with two warring parents and a father who was in and out of jail, it becomes clear she is something of a damaged young girl.”

More quotes from the interview:

Lindsay says: “When you’re young in school, people think you’re bragging. I just didn’t want the drama of all that. My childhood was very… well, my mom was amazing but my dad was there and then not there.”

Lindsay, who has three younger siblings - brother Michael, sister Aliana and youngest brother Dakota - says: “Your family should be your security blanket. I don’t know why he did that, to be honest. My Dad experimented with drugs including cocaine and I think maybe that had a lot to do with it. When I was younger he would disappear for three days then show up and we’d be walking on eggshells because we would be nervous of what he would say or do.”

“I would put myself in between him and my siblings and do the best I could to protect them. Maybe I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me as a person and what it could do to me in the long run. He never hit me, it was more verbal.”

She even claimed: “When I was younger he hit my mum, but I don’t really remember that part of it. I think my family is part of the reason I’ve made mistakes. I think it’s just the pressure of wanting to please everyone. That’s always been hard.”

[From The Sun]

And finally, because it seems like all Rupert Murdoch-owned publications are going to run stories about Lindsay Lohan today, Page Six reports that when Lindsay flew from London to Atlantic City, she demanded two things from her hotel: “She said she was suffering from jet lag and requested that a doctor be on call to administer B12 shots if needed. Her other demand was two cartons of cigarettes.” Page Six also claims that Lindsay criticized the deejay at the hotel’s event, “telling the crowd ‘a certain ex-girlfriend’ could teach him ‘what songs to play’ — a reference to Samantha Ronson.” Ugh.

You’re not even going to believe the bullsh-t that comes out of Lindsay Lohan’s mouth in this interview. It is one of the most stunning, oblivious, ridiculous, lie-filled steaming pieces of cow flop I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. Lindsay sat down for an “exclusive” interview with The Sun - for no reason, because she barely works anymore, and she’s not promoting anything other than her own cracked-out image. The bulk of the interview is about Lindsay’s drug usage, and how after three rehab trips and years of cracked-out shenanigans, Lindsay has “learnt from my mistakes and I’m now healthy and happier.” Oh. My. God.

HOLLYWOOD wild child LINDSAY LOHAN today lays bare the extent of her drug addiction - and confesses she came close to killing herself through a heady mix of alcohol, cocaine and mind-bending drugs. And she tells of her “terror” at collapsing on her bathroom floor after taking sleeping pills.

The bisexual actress, who has been to rehab three times and was jailed after being caught with cocaine, has always played down the extent of her drug abuse. But today the 23-year-old star of hit films such as Herbie Fully Loaded and Mean Girls sensationally reveals she hit rock bottom - and risked blowing her entire career.

Speaking exclusively to The Sun she tells how her problems got worse when her father MICHAEL, a former drug addict and jailbird who beat up Lindsay’s mother DINA, started talking to the Press about his daughter in 2007.

Lindsay, nicknamed Li-Lo, says: “When my father was going public, that’s when I hit rock bottom. I abused substances too much and it wasn’t the answer to my problems. People need to know that. I tried to mask my problems with alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances. Now I’m in a place where I don’t need to use anything and I can feel emotions because I choose to.”

“I learnt from my mistakes and I’m now healthy and happier. I never want to be close to losing everything I worked for and aspired to have my whole life. Mind-altering substances are so dangerous. If I can teach others, especially teens, by sharing my experiences, then that’s what I will continue to do. I’ve made some dreadful mistakes but learned from them - that has probably saved my life.”

Lindsay sees a therapist fortnightly and attends weekly alcohol education lessons. She says the first time she sought help for her addiction was in 2007 after collapsing in her LA bathroom, waking surrounded by cascading water - and terrified.

She says: “I went to rehab three times. The first time I checked myself in because I had taken Ambien. It’s a sleeping aid but it makes you hallucinate. I’d run a bath and fallen asleep on the floor and the bath had overflowed. When I woke up I was so scared, I called my therapist and said, ‘Can I just go somewhere for a month? I’m around bad people and I need to take care of myself’. I was terrified, so I put myself in.”

“There was a point when I didn’t know how to say ‘No’ and I was trying to please everyone. I was doing pop and making films. I was young and thought I could go out, have fun, then go on set and record. I ran myself down and I lost track of who I was.”

Talking of the first time she was caught with cocaine, following a car smash in May 2007, she confesses: “It was in a purse and I was with friends. I wasn’t trying to lie to police. I was only aware of cocaine because of my dad. I was terrified of it. But I tried it because I was stubborn, stupid, and wanted to see what it was like. It’s not something I ever want to do again. It made me feel like s***. It became uninteresting to me. I’m hyper anyway and I have that kind of personality so I don’t need something like that.”

In January 2007 came the incident with Ambien which led her to check herself into the Wonderland Center clinic, in Los Angeles, for 30 days. Later that year she pulled out of one film and was dropped from another. In May came her arrest for drink-driving after hitting a tree.

She says: “I wasn’t driving like a maniac. There were paparazzi and their flashes were going off into the window. I tried to turn, then I sped up because they sped up. That’s when I hit the tree. I just thank God everyone was OK. But it was scary. I had three drinks, at most. I’ve been stupid and childish and I wasn’t thinking.”

Police then found the cocaine in her purse and Lindsay entered rehab for a second time, this time in Malibu, for six weeks. On her release Lindsay had to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet on her ankle. Yet just two weeks later, in July 2007, she was arrested for drink driving and cops again found cocaine, this time in her pocket. She went to rehab in Utah.

In August 2007 she pleaded guilty to cocaine use and driving under the influence. She was jailed for a day and ordered to complete an alcohol education programme.

Lindsay, who has spent much of the past week partying in London, where she also hosted a fundraiser for Haiti, says: “I’m allowed to drink now but I know my limits. There are certain situations where I have obligations. There’s no reason to (drink) because I don’t want to feel like s*** in the morning.”

She says: “The thing is, at the times I was going out a lot and being seen everywhere, I would have been in college. My brother, who is 18, and his friends go out to bars and stuff till whatever time. That’s what you do in college. Mine was all in the public eye so it was magnified that much more. I’ve now learned my boundaries and I’ve been very good with cleaning house with people who I know didn’t have my best intentions at heart. A lot of people in LA are very self destructive. Partying so hard simply isn’t worth it. Life is worth living and there is so much to do and experience, it’s wonderful.”

[From The Sun]

Now, CB and I are of two different minds about exactly what drugs Lindsay is on, and has been on for a long time. CB always thinks that Lindsay’s on Adderall, and that she’s probably mixing it with alcohol and perhaps other prescription medications. My opinion is that Lindsay swallows, snorts, rubs, smokes, inhales, shoots and drinks whatever is around, be it prescription medication, or actual cocaine, heroin, whatever. So, whatever. Maybe Lindsay’s telling the truth about her cocaine use. But I doubt it. Probably because I’ve actually seen photos of her over the past few years.