Imagine, just for a moment, the life of Lourdes Leon. Her mother, Madonna, has always been on a Peter Pan sort of mission and, consequently, has refused to age gracefully. This fact is blatantly obvious and evidenced by Madge’s red-carpet getups. Wouldn’t you just die if your mother showed up next to you while wearing this outfit?

If Lourdes herself was freaked out by her mother’s sexy (at age 53) getup, I can definitely emphathize. However, it is possible that Lourdes has been surrounded by Madonna’s ways for so long that it might seem normal to have a mom who dresses this way. Yet she cannot possibly comfortable with Madonna regularly dating dudes in their early 20s and still vaguely trying to pretend that these guys are more than just sexual appendages. Well, the Enquirer has heard from a family friend who says that Lourdes is shame-faced at her mother’s behavior in this regard, and she’s had enough:

Madcap Madonna, who set the stage for outrageous acts like Lady Gaga, has a fierce new critic — her teen daughter Lourdes.

Sources say the 53-year-old superstar, who’s sold more than 210 million albums, has repeatedly embarrassed the 15-year-old by still dressing like she did 30 years ago and dating men young enough to be her daughter’s boyfriend.

“Lourdes is telling pals she wished her mother would change and be more like other moms,” revealed a family friend.

Ever since the Material Girl hit the scene in 1983, she shocked and delighted fans with wild, sex-rated outfits she wore onstage and off. And in 1992, she published a red-hot coffee table book called “Sex.”

“Lourdes loves her mother, and her antics are nothing new, but now that she’s growing up, she doesn’t want anyone to start making fun of her mom and calling her a ‘cougar’” revealed the friend.

“Lourdes also wishes her mother would date men closer to her own age.

Madonna is seeing Brahim Zaibat, a Muslim, French break-dancer — who at 25 is less than half the singer’s age. Prior to Brahim, she was dating a 23-year-old Brazillian model [Jesus Luz] she met at a 2008 photo shoot in Rio de Janeiro.

“Lourdes just wants their lives to be normal sometimes, but her mother never turns it off or tones it down — it’s always ‘Madonna!’” said the friend.

The performer has four children — Lourdes by her ex-boyfriend Carlos Leon; Rocco Ritchie, 11, by ex-husband Guy Ritchie; David Banda, 6, whom she adopted from Malawi (Africa), and Chifundo “Mercy” James, 5, also adopted from Malawi.

The still-popular entertainer, who dearly loves all her children, insists on being herself.

But the sources notes that Lourdes sometimes feels “she is more of a grownup than her mother.”

[From Enquirer, print edition, December 5, 2011]

I’ve always wondered what Lourdes thinks about Madonna dating guys who could literally be her older brother or, in just a couple of years, legitimate love interests for Lourdes herself. It’s probably quite humiliating for Lourdes to acknowledge that her mother is sexing these guys up in the other room while she tries to sleep. I mean, weren’t most of us creeped out just a bit upon realizing, as teenagers, that our parents had sex? And yet we weren’t tortured enough to virtually witness them having sex with partners who were less than half their ages like Lourdes has endured. Yes, she’s got many advantages and privileges to being Madonna’s daughter, but the trade-off in this scenario probably grosses her out completely. Ugh.

As a refresher, here’s Madonna’s latest hot young piece, 23-year-old Brahim (who hilariously wants to make an honest woman of her), as they leave a restaurant together and also walk through the airport with Madonna’s four (other) children. Poor Lourdes.

Photos courtesy of Fame and PCN

Do you ever think that Madonna sometimes looks at Lourdes and a cold, deep shiver of fear runs through her gristle? I do. Madonna is still trying to be “IT”. And her daughter has IT naturally, through her combined genes of Madge and Carlos Leon. Those genes combined and made a very cool, beautiful and self-possessed young woman of 15 years who radiates something very special. And I bet Madge is full of jealousy just looking her daughter.

Anyway, these are photos of Lola and Kelly Osbourne doing a press conference and casting call for the “Material Girl Model Search.” I guess they’re looking for the new “face” of the Material Girl brand, which Kelly currently represents. I know I’m not the first to ask this, but considering the brand is for tweens and teens, why isn’t Lola the “face” of it? Does Madge not want her “out there” that much?

But no matter. On with the search! According to The Mail, “Three winners will be picked to be the brands ‘lucky stars’ and will be paid just £,3123 (US$5,000). The winners and one guest will be flown to New York to participate in a two-day photo shoot. The images will be used for the Material Girl Spring 2012 advertising campaign and future advertising. As well as having their face plastered on publicity material, the winners will meet Madonna herself.” Lola and Kelly are responsible for whittling down the thousands of girls who applied into 36 finalists who will be voted on by the public.

By the way, you know how much I loathe skinny jeans in general? Well, I don’t hate them on Lola. If you’re going to wear skinny jeans, I really think you have to be a coltish teenager to pull them off.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

My God, Lourdes Leon really is turning into such a beautiful young woman, isn’t she? Her parentage is all over her face, and while she looks more and more like Madonna as she gets order, I can also see a healthy dose of Carlos Leon in there too. She really got the best features from both of them. And much like her mom, Lola wears too much makeup. It’s way too much for someone her age, honestly.

Anyway, these are new photos of Lola and Kelly Osbourne at the 1-year anniversary event for Lola and Madonna’s Material Girl line at Macy’s. If you remember, Kelly is the “face” of the brand now, replacing ol’ Raccoon McPantless. Kelly looks cute in these photos, but your eye goes to Lola, right? Why isn’t she the face of the brand? Oh, right. Because she’s 14 years old! She’ll be 15 next month. 15 going on 35, right?

In late August, Madonna took her kids and her boyfriend on vacation, and the paparazzi got lots of photos of Lola in her bikini. Some people commented on her developing breasts, which… come on, guys. She’s a teenage girl. She’s developing like a healthy teenage girl. This is not an implant situation. This is a puberty situation, and Lola is growing up before our eyes. She’s also taken care of her eyebrows too!

I also included a candid of Lola in NYC earlier yesterday. She’s so cute.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Um, so Madonna was invited to the post-Oscar Vanity Fair party. And she brought her daughter Lourdes as her “date”. That’s fine. I even like Lola’s little minidress, although I’m sure Lola and Madge had a fight about the shortness. Lola looks so pretty and cute, though, which makes what I’m about to say even worse: Madonna had more junk done to her face. She wasn’t content to just have those chicken-cutlet cheek implants put in (which completely mangled her face). Now Madge has gone and gotten her eyes done too – amongst other procedures. Her face just looks like a mask at this point. It’s disgusting. And Madonna should seriously think about the message she’s sending to her beautiful young daughter.

Oh, and style-wise… Madonna looks like a 60-year-old transvestite madam. I mean… do we need to see her leg gristle? No. No, we do not.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’m kind of in love with Carlos Leon, actor, personal trainer, and Madonna’s first baby-daddy. I find him handsome but not pretty, I like his lanky body, and the few times he speaks, he sounds interesting. Plus, I’ve seen him in a few Law & Order episodes, and he’s a decent actor. Whatever… I don’t have to justify myself to you!!! I think he’s hot. And his new interview in People Magazine has only made him hotter. He sounds really sweet here:

Their own relationship didn’t last, but Carlos Leon found the love of his life thanks to Madonna – their daughter Lourdes.

“I’m forever grateful to [Madonna],” Leon tells PEOPLE. “I have no regrets. I wouldn’t change anything. I got the best thing out of that relationship, and that’s my daughter. My daughter is everything to me.”

Like many smitten fathers, Leon, 44, admits he has a tough time being strict with Lourdes, now 14.

“I’m a lenient dad,” says the personal trainer and actor, whose new film Immigration Tango came out Friday. “I’m very empathetic, and I’m good at listening to my daughter … I’m probably a bad dad when it comes to disciplining her.”

One area where he tends to be overly compromising? Her curfew. “I try to work with her on it,” he says. “We settle on a time, say around 10 p.m., and she’s like, ‘How about 10:30?’ And it eventually becomes 10:15.”

Leon says Lourdes isn’t dating yet, but knows it’s coming. “I’m dreading it so much, because she’s my little girl. I want her to stay young forever,” he says. “I’m already overprotective, so when the time comes, I will be ready to have a talk with the guy she brings through the door. He better be ready, because I’ll give him the rundown!”

For now, he and his daughter bond by going on bike rides in New York City and hanging out at home, watching movies like Harry Potter and Twilight.

“She loves to watch Harry Potter. It’s a favorite of hers. We can watch that 100 times – well, she can,” Leon says. “Twilight is also pretty big at our house. She likes Robert Pattinson. She’s Team Edward all the way.”

Besides wizards and vampires, Lourdes loves fashion and is a budding fashionista. She even gives Dad a few pointers.

“Sometimes she will give me a hard time about my clothes,” Leon says. “I wore a pair of jeans once, and they weren’t as skinny as I usually wear them, and she was like, ‘Oh my God, Dad, those pants are ugly. Please change your pants.’ ”

He adds with a laugh: “They were too bootcut, so I changed.”

[From People]

“Oh my God, Dad, those pants are ugly. Please change your pants.” Gosh, where on earth does she get that bossypants fashionista side? I wonder….? Ha, as we thought, Lola is totally the Mini-Madonna. Maybe Lola will even (gasp) exceed Madonna when her time comes.

But seriously, doesn’t Carlos sound like a sweet guy? I like that he doesn’t even really talk about Madonna – neither of them has ever said one bad word about each other, that I know of. I think Carlos gets to spend however much time he wants with Lola. They really have their stuff worked out, and Lola has benefited so much from having two mature parents (well, Madonna seems mature about this one issue), as well as a loving step-father in Guy Ritchie. God knows what Lola thinks about the latest young boyfriends, but whatever. She’s at the age where she’s too cool to hang out with mom anyway.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This is weird news. After less than a year as “the face” of Madonna and Lourdes’s Material Girl line for Macy’s, Raccoon McPantless has been replaced. In and of itself, Raccoon getting fired is not a big deal – she gets fired all the time. She’s a very unprofessional raccoon. But her replacement is extremely odd… it’s Kelly Osbourne. Like, Kelly “I Lost Weight But I’m Still Really Vapid, BUT I’M THIN” Osbourne. No disrespect, but would you why would anyone want their clothes associated with Kelly? I’m honestly not trying to be mean. Is Kelly a fashionista? Nope. Is she known for wearing interesting things? Nope. I just don’t get it.

Kelly Osbourne is a material girl. The E! Fashion Police co-host, 26, will take over the spokesperson role previously held by Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen.

“Material Girl is thrilled to confirm that Kelly Osbourne is the new face for 2011! We will be sharing all the details on this exciting new campaign in the upcoming weeks,” the rep confirms to UsMagazine.com.

Material Girl, designed by Madonna and her 14-year-old daughter, Lourdes, launched last summer with Momsen, 17, as its first spokesperson. On January 11, Lourdes, who writes the fashion label’s blog, announced the line was “desperately seeking” a new face.

Osbourne, it seems, was the natural choice. “Kelly’s always been a massive fan of Madonna and recently heard Lourdes idolized her, which she was very flattered by. It’s a huge coup,” a source told Britain’s Sunday Mirror.

The replacement is the latest hiccup for Momsen: In November she was reportedly suspended from Gossip Girl due to bad behavior. And in a December interview with Revolver magazine, Momsen blamed her parents for her “miserable attitude,” which she later apologized for.

[From Us Weekly]

Poor Raccoon. I mean, I’m glad she was ousted and I’m glad that whatever friendship Lola and Raccoon might have had is now over – Raccoon is a horrible influence. But surely they could have found someone else – someone more interesting – in this demographic who could appeal to the tweens? I don’t know… like, Zoe Kravitz? Jennifer Lawrence? One of the Fanning girls? Ugh.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Back in November, The Daily Beast interviewed me (ME!) about Lourdes Leon and whether she was too young to dye her hair (she’s 14 years old). I talked about Miley Cyrus’s cooter, of course, but I ended up coming down on the side of “Lola is fine.” Anyway, in a new blog post (Lola blogs for her Material Girl line at Macy’s), Lola talks about how she’s now “sick” of her dyed black hair, and how she wants to go “royal blue”. Oh, goodness.

It might be hard to believe, but Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes (a.k.a. Lola) Leon, is actually just like any other teenage girl — hello, Harry Potter and Katy Perry. Of course, not every teen already has co-created a junior’s collection for Macy’s this fall, but even she isn’t immune to the style dilemmas of adolescence!

“I don’t know if any of you saw my hair yet but its mad dark right at the moment. I’m almost sick of it and now I want royal blue hair but not a streak, like my entire head,” she muses. “I’m sure if I get that hair color I’ll be sick of it after about two weeks.”

And how does mom Madonna feel about her Lola opening up for all the internet to see?

“I read this blog aloud to my mother and she is sitting here staring at me with no expression on her face, as if she doesn’t approve of it!” she writes. “So now you all know what I have had to put up with for the past 14 years of my life ”

[From People]

Ha, Lola is so funny – “So now you all know what I have had to put up with for the past 14 years of my life”. She’s really going to be a bigger handful than Madonna, isn’t she? Just wait for it. It’s not going to be a Miley Cyrus-type thing either – Lola is going to try to rule the world.

As for the “royal blue” dye – to get her hair to really show up as that color, won’t she have to lighten it first? Lola as a blonde! Imagine.

For yesterday’s appearance in NYC on behalf of Macy’s Material Girl line, it seems that Madonna allowed her daughter Lola to do press. While Madge stood right beside her. And Lola couldn’t get enough of it, talking and expressing her 13 year old opinions, which of course, she thinks are epic and important and, like, no one has ever thought this way before. I mean, we were all like that. But we weren’t all talking to the press at that age. Anyway, I just thought I’d give you some of the gems from Madge and Lola’s magical red carpet appearance – note this: Madge actually talks about how Lola can’t do anything fun, like dye her hair or go out with boys. Mah-OOOOM!!!!!

She may have been wild in her younger years, but now, Madonna is a no-nonsense mother of four — with super-strict guidelines for her eldest daughter, 13-year-old Lourdes “Lola” Leon.

The Material Mom exclusively tells In Touch that Lola can’t dye her raven locks until she’s 14 — and that dating is out of the question for the high school freshman. “No!” Lola answered when asked if she has boyfriends — as Madonna shook her head and grimaced in disgust — at the launch of their juniors clothing line, Material Girl, at Macy’s in New York.

Despite the rules, the mother/daughter pair is close, even holding hands as they posed on the pink carpet at the event.

“I think she’s doing a really good job!” Lola told In Touch when asked about her mother’s parenting skills. Madonna admitted that raising a down-to-earth daughter in the public eye isn’t easy.

“It does require a lot of time and effort and paying attention,” she told In Touch.

Madonna’s first born doesn’t have any blonde ambitions! At Wednesday’s Material Girl Collection launch at Macy’s in NYC, Lourdes Leon Ciccone told UsMagazine.com that she’s “allowed” to start dyeing her hair when she turns 14 next month — but the natural brunette’s not interested in her mother’s most famous hue.

“I wouldn’t go blonde,” Lourdes told reporters. “I’d like to do a darker color — a really dark, dark red.”

Although she’s granted Lourdes permission, Madonna, 52, isn’t thrilled about her eldest’s upcoming experiments with hair color. “Once you start dyeing your hair that’s it,” the singer (who should know!) said. “You have to keep dyeing it.”

Another milestone for Lourdes: She just started attending New York’s LaGuardia High School. “I love it!” Lourdes told Us. “It’s amazing!”\

The famous mom and daughter collaborated on the Material Girl line. “She has a very good sense of what works and what doesn’t,” Madonna said. “She has really great sense of style. She pretty much ran all of the meetings while I was doing other things!”

“Lola did most of the work. I just kind of hung out in the background and went, ‘That’s nice,’ but she pretty much did all of the work. I was just overseeing it,” she said.

“There are some definite pieces [inspired by my mom]. The tulle skirt because that’s like her thing—she made that. The necklaces, the gloves, the lace tights, the combat boots…that tough girly thing,” Lourdes told PEOPLE.

As for the items in Mom’s closet that she covets most? “All of her shoes are ridiculous! I love to try on her [Christian] Louboutins,” she said.

Also on hand for the celebration was Material Girl face Taylor Momsen. “It was such an honor to be chosen by Madonna and Lola. They’re such talented people and I’m just ecstatic,” gushed the Gossip Girl star. The night concluded with the three ladies gathering on the fourth floor of Macy’s, as dancers performed and a DJ spun many of Madonna’s songs.

“Lola has been so inspiring and it’s been so great to watch her focus, her determination.” Madonna said. “I’ve achieved many things in my life, but I have to say watching my daughter make her dreams come true and achieve her goals is more exciting than anything I’ve ever done.”

[From People, Us Weekly and In Touch Weekly]

Aw… Madonna and Lola actually seem really sweet together. Like they’re really tight and Madonna is strict but she wants Lola to be herself and find herself. Don’t believe me? Watch this video of the two of them:

Lola seems WAY, like, totally OLD-er than her, like, 13 years or, like, whatever, but she still, like, talks like a kid, you know? But they’re adorable together. Of course part of it is that Madge still thinks she’s Lola’s age. But the other part of it is that she doesn’t want to embarrass Lola in any way, and she’s trying so hard to be cool for her daughter. There’s a lot of analyze, so just enjoy.

As we reported yesterday, there has been some tabloid discussion over 13 year old Lourdes Leon’s involvement in the Material Girl line for Macy’s. According to Madonna’s own words, Lola pretty much runs the joint, with some help from Madonna and a team of experts and designers. But still, Lola basically has a career now, much to her father’s chagrin. My opinion is that Madonna is probably trying to keep Lola occupied and channel her youthful energy into something productive, rather then allowing Lola to spend her time in a haze of drugs and sex, etc, much like Madonna spent her teenage years, maybe?

Anyway, yesterday evening, there was a press event for Material Girl in New York. Madonna and Lola showed up, of course, as did the panda-face of the line, Taylor Momsen. The photos of Madonna, Lola and Taylor posing together are just… ten kinds of wrong. The body language, the insanity of Raccoon McPantless, and the de facto acceptance and legitimacy McPantless is getting from this – I mean, yes, she’s a total sellout, but she’s a sellout that little girls are going to admire and want to emulate. Girls like Lola.

And look at Madonna’s face! She looks like she thinks she’s absorbing Lola and Raccoon’s youth just by standing next to them. This is what happens when you’re too busy trying to be “hip” and “cool” rather than trying to be a good mom. Because I think a good mother would take one look at Raccoon McPantless and say “Jesus Christ, step away from my daughter, put on some pants and wash your face you little crackhead.” Madge also looks drugged…? Ugh. These photos are making me nauseous. This is some Dorian Gray sh-t. And Lola’s face is saying it all: “OMG, Mom! You’re embarrassing me in front of Raccoon McPantless!!!”

Material Girl event photos from Sept. 22, 2010. Credit: Fame & WENN.

This interesting little story comes from Star Magazine, via Jezebel. Apparently, Carlos Leon isn’t very happy with how grown-up and busy and teenage-y his daughter Lourdes has become of late. Now, Carlos and Madonna have maintained what seems like a pretty good relationship over the years, and it seems like Madonna is very conscious to encourage Lola’s relationship with Carlos, and Carlos and Lola do seem tight. No opinion of Carlos has grown over the years – I think he’s probably a really cool guy, and he seems like a loving father and a decent businessman and artist – he owns and operates a successful New York gym and has booked some solid acting gigs on the side (he’s been wonderful on his multiple Law & Order appearances!). Anyway, Star Magazine claims that Madonna and Carlos’ friendship has been strained lately because Lola has been growing up and she spends her time doing very adult things, like wearing pot-accented fashion, and designing her own juniors line. And dating. She’s 13 years old, Carlos. And she has Madonna for a mother. It’s only going to get worse!

Madonna is fighting with Carlos Leon. She is “paving the way” for Lourdes’ showbiz career, which is “infuriating” him. He’s against her being in entertainment until she’s older, and hates that she mostly hangs out with Madonna’s “older, fashion friends.” Read: Gay.

Also, Madonna lets Lola go on dates — at the tender age of 13 — and Carlos doesn’t think she should be in a relationship with a boy. We find it hard to believe that Madge would let Lourdes go on a date when none of the kids are allowed to have sugar or watch TV.

[From Star via Jezebel]

Now… obviously, it’s going to be difficult for any father when his little girl starts dating. Do I think Lola should be dating at 13 years old? No. But I agree with Jezebel, it’s probably not a date-date thing. Lola is probably going out with groups and maybe there are some date-like activities (first kiss!), but it’s not a date-date. As far as Carlos’ concerns about Lola’s career… yes, I agree. She’s 13. She should not be in charge of the Material Girl line for Macy’s and cosigning Raccoon McPantless as the panda-face of a juniors line. It’s too much, too soon. Although I also believe that Madge is probably exhausted. Wouldn’t you be exhausted around Lola? I get exhausted just reading her blog posts – and yes, she blogs professionally now, for Macy’s. Gawd. Imagine her in five years. Seriously. Madonna is probably pulling out her hair. Carlos too.