Don’t even ask me what Miley Cyrus is wearing. I have no idea. At first I was going to claim that this kind of ensemble was popular when I was a kid, but I don’t even think I can justify it as “dated”. These are some of the ugliest cutoffs I’ve ever seen, and Miley has paired them with a bustier, a flannel shirt (unbuttoned) and a pair of cowboy boots. Dear God. She really has no casual style. I’m guessing that the fug shorts might be medical, though – Miley recently “cracked” her tailbone – no joke – “doing a front flip onto the couch.” I don’t even know.

In other Miley news, she wrote an essay for Glamour Mag all about her “All LOVE is equal” tattoo, and why she’s all for gay marriage. She’s talked about her support of gay marriage before, but still – I respect her for sticking with a cause, and for whole-heartedly supporting an issue that’s seen as so “controversial”. Here’s her essay:

Imagine finding someone you love more than anything in the world, who you would risk your life for but couldn’t marry. And you couldn’t have that special day the way your friends do—you know, wear the ring on your finger and have it mean the same thing as everybody else. Just put yourself in that person’s shoes. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.

When I shared a picture of my tattoo on my Twitter page and said, “All LOVE is equal,” a lot of people mocked me—they said, “What happened to you? You used to be a Christian girl!” And I said, “Well, if you were a true Christian, you would have your facts straight. Christianity is about love.” The debate resulted in a lot of threats and hate mail to people who agreed and disagreed with me. At one point I had to say, “Dude, everyone lay off.”

Can’t people have friendly debates about sensitive topics without it turning into unnecessary threats?

I believe every American should be allowed the same rights and civil liberties. Without legalized same-sex marriage, most of the time you cannot share the same health benefits, you are not considered next of kin and you are not granted the same securities as a heterosexual couple. How is this different than having someone sit in the back of the bus because of their skin color?

One day I read online about the head of Urban Outfitters donating to a presidential candidate who does not support equality for everyone. I was shocked and disappointed that a company with such diversity would exclude such a large group of people. I can no longer bring myself to shop there.

We all should be tolerant of one another and embrace our differences. My dad [country singer Billy Ray Cyrus], who is a real man’s man, lives on the farm and is as Southern and straight as they come. He loves my gay friends and even supports same-sex marriage. If my father can do it, anyone can.

This is America, the nation of dreams. We’re so proud of that. And yet certain people are excluded. It’s just not right.

[Miley’s essay via Glamour]

It’s not particularly well-reasoned and it’s not some overwhelming political treatise, but Miley’s still out there and talking about it. I’ve really grown to like her more and more over the past year – her political conscience is growing, and she’s so much more low-key. I hope she keeps it up. I also hope she burns these cutoffs in a spiritually cleansing fire.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Here’s a nice fluffy story for us to scratch our heads over and blink twice. Apparently, Miley Cyrus ordered up a lovely p3nis cake for boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s birthday party. Strange, right? I don’t even eat crap like that at bachelorette parties, but to each their own, I guess. TMZ has photos of Miley pretending to lick the cake, and the situation looks about as juvenile as one would expect. Maybe Liam wanted to see Miley lick a cake like that, or perhaps she and her friends have some strange sort of “cake prank” theme that endlessly amuses them. After all, Kelly Osbourne did present Miley with a Bob Marley cake for her 19th birthday. I’m guessing that Liam and Miley share the same sense of humor? Let’s hope so:

For her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s 22nd birthday, Miley Cyrus pulled out all the stops — from cute to raunchy!

First, the 19-year-old Hannah Montana star revealed that she gifted the Hunger Games hunk with a puppy named Ziggy, sharing a pic via Twitter early last week.

But when the time arrived to celebrate Hemsworth’s big day at Club Icon in L.A. last Saturday (Hemsworth’s actual birthday was Friday Jan. 20), Cyrus went another direction — surprising Hemsworth with a “Happy Birthday Liam” cake adorned with a p3nis.

Photos at TMZ show Cyrus, er, tasting the black-and-red, X-rated confection, the kind usually seen at bachelorette parties.

Last Song costars Cyrus and Hemsworth quietly rekindled their on-and-off romance in spring 2011.

A pal told Us Weekly that Cyrus is “crazy in love” with her man, set to become a superstar once Hunger Games hits theaters in March. “She wants to establish as much of a foundation in the relationship as possible.”

[From Us Magazine]

Hopefully, this story won’t devolve into a “Miley goes off the rails” theme. It honestly just looks like some harmless (albeit tasteless) dumb fun. Liam and Miley seem like a decent couple who are well-suited for each other right now. Sure, they probably won’t last forever, but they enjoy each other’s company both on the red carpet and during laid-back moments.

Also, check out Liam’s adorable dog in the below photo that was taken last year. It’s not the “Ziggy” referred to in the above article, but this is still a really damn cute puppy.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

Miley Cyrus stepped out over the weekend with a new cropped hairdo. She was also wearing a white t-shirt without a bra, which is all too common for her. Miley should invest in some cami tops with built in bras if it’s such a problem for her to harness her girls. At least she had on a flannel shirt for coverage. Anyway Miley tweeted that she got a hair cut and had about five inches chopped off. It looks like she’s freshened up the color too, but that might just be the effect of the haircut, as I’ve heard hairdressers talk about how shorter hair can make your haircolor look different.

Miley Cyrus may have left her bra at home, but there was a good reason for it — she was preoccupied with her brand-new haircut!

On Friday, the underwear-less star, who sported a white T-shirt underneath an unbuttoned flannel and denim cut-off shorts, met up with some friends at the Los Angeles eatery Wokcano, while debuting her freshly cropped off hair.

“Just got a hurrrr cut,” the 19-year-old tweeted that day.

“I didn’t do anything to crazy. But I did take 5 inches off!” she later added, responding to a fan via Twitter.

Cyrus was last spotted with her longer locks when she stepped out with her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth at the 2012 People’s Choice Awards, where she wowed in a David Koma dress, Neil Lane jewelry, Jimmu Choo heels and a Marchesa clutch.

Hemsworth, who turned 22 on January 13, is the proud owner of a new puppy, a gift from Cyrus herself.

“Meet Ziggy,” the former Disney starlet wrote beneath an adorable snapshot of her man’s pet, which she shared via Twitter January 12.

[From US Weekly]

I’m thinking that Miley also removed some hair extensions, similar to how Aniston copped to getting extensions taken out for her crop cut. I heard Miley admit in an interview a couple of years ago that she had hair extensions, but back then she was sporting much longer, curlier (and darker) hair. So does she look cute with her new hair? She definitely does if you ignore her fug 90s outfit completely, and she probably feels great after losing a little weight recently. (That she didn’t need to lose.) I have to say that I liked her hair longer, similar to how I liked Aniston’s hair best when it was long and blown out. It’s easier to style short hair, but I find longer hair prettier and more flattering. I hate getting mine cut, though, so I’m biased.

Also, I have to say something about the new puppy that Miley gifted her on-again boyfriend, Liam. Here he is, completely adorable and sweet. [via Miley's Twitter] I don’t know about dog breeds and just spent too much time trying to figure out what kind of pup this is. (Is he/she a Boxer or a mixed breed?) It seems like Miley gets puppies often though. In August of last year she just got two huskies and earlier in the year she was seen toting around another tiny dog. She clearly loves dogs and it shows.

Photo credit: YNF/WENN.com and Juan Rico/Fame Pictures

Last week after the People’s Choice Awards, Kaiser took special note of what a damn sexy couple Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth made together. Indeed, they looked good as always, but Miley seemed well, different. Upgraded, perhaps. It was a subtle difference but noticeable if one looks at the above photo comparison between 12/10 and 1/11. Miley was no longer hiding under a bulky gown, her boobs seemed smaller, and her arms looked more toned up than they previously did. According to In Touch, this was a very deliberate change, for Miley went on a pre-holidays crash diet and exercise program to lose weight for a beach vacation with Liam. Through the magic of a chef, nutritionist, and personal trainer, Miley quickly lost 15 pounds but did so at very significant monetary expense:

It was hard not to notice Miley Cyrus’ pared-down physique at the January 11 People’s Choice awards. According to a pal, the teen — who packed on the pounds late last year — enlisted the help of a nutritionist, chef and her old personal trainer, Harley Pasternak, to whip herself into bikini-ready shape ahead of her recent Hawaiian getaway with boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. “Miley probably spent $50,000 to lose 15 pounds in a few weeks,” the pal tells In Touch. “She didn’t care what it cost as long as she looked good!”

[From In Touch, print edition, January 30, 2012]

So was it worth all of that money to lose weight so quickly when normal civilians like myself sweat it out for several months at the gym and come up with the same results? Miley probably didn’t even blink an eye at spending $50,000, since she’s reportedly worth $120 million (the Hannah Montana franchise itself reached upwards of $1 billion in sales). The thing is, Miley wasn’t big to begin with. Sure, she gained a little weight after leaving her Disney show and heading into the age bracket where most people gain a few pounds anyway. The end result for Miley was that face looked a little rounder, and the girls were more noticeable in these photo from 12/8 and 12/1:

Here’s a few photos from early November of last year, where she looks a little puffy, but I figured she just had the pot munchies. Not everyone can get away with smoking weed and staying svelte in manner of Rihanna:

Last year on 8/27, Miley was definitely covering up her figure, so it must have bothered her to some extent:

And here’s a side view of Miley at the People’s Choice Awards. That $50,000 was somewhat well spent, but she could’ve done it for free in just a little more time.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

Here are some photos of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth at last night’s People’s Choice Awards. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but… Miley Cyrus and Liam are one of the sexiest young couples in Young Hollywood. Like, I buy that they’re boning like bunny rabbits. And I kind of want to see it. This is not a bearding situation, and it’s not a show-mance or a fauxmance. These two actually adore each other, and they can’t keep their hands off of each other. It’s hot.

I’ve always been rather meh on Liam’s attractiveness – he seems like a lug, honestly. But ever since Liam and Miley got back together for a second go-around, and ever since Miley seems more low-key and more grown-up, I’ve liked them both so much more. I want to think he’s a good influence on her. I like to think that they just spend their days having sex and doing bong hits and watching TV. I like to think Miley is learning that her whole life doesn’t have to lived in the public sphere.

Anyway, Miley was wearing this David Koma dress, which I’m not crazy about. At least her tatas are under wraps, I guess. And the white looks pretty on her, but the weirdness in the skirt is bugging me. Also: Miley’s face looks slightly tweaked to me. But other than that, Miley and Liam make a very attractive couple. Miley is completely balls-out in love with him too – look at the way she looks at him. It’s sweet, but I hope she doesn’t get her heart broken.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Our friends at Evil Beet posted this clip from an upcoming episode of Punk’d. It was so hilarious that I had to post it here. The premise is that Khloe Kardashian and Kelly Osbourne were hanging out at Miley Cyrus’ house when they decided to order food. Miley and Kelly were in on the prank, which was aimed squarely at Khloe. The “delivery guy” went to use the bathroom after handing over the food and then came out screaming that he’d caught his testicle in his zipper. It was a scene straight out of Something About Mary but Khloe believed it was real. She called 911 and calmly followed the “paramedic’s” orders, telling the screaming delivery guy what to do. I’ll let Sarah at Evil Beet describe the scene:

The delivery guy emerges from the loo, where he’s zippered his balls into his pants, and hilarity ensues. There’s a lot of discomfiting man-screaming and shots of Miley Cyrus unsuccessfully covering her laughing face, but Khloe’s the real star of the clip, guys: she’s calm, cool and collected, calls the paramedics and barks medical orders like she’s on ER. Or, at the very least, Scrubs.

If there was ever any doubt about Khloe Kardashian being the one and only GOOD Kardashian, this video clip should wash away any misconceptions that you might have. I know she doesn’t have the massive, super-extensive experience that her sister Kim has with viewing scrotums in distress, and she doesn’t have the dead eyes and unflappable, almost Neanderthal-like demeanor that epitomizes cold-fish Kourtney, but dadgum it, Khloe Kardashian is the hero of the day this time around, and thank God for it, huh?

[From Evil Beet]

This may sound weird, but I’m really wondering about the logistics of this prank. Did the dude put a prosthetic ball in his zipper or did he somehow manipulate his own ball to make hang out and look trapped there? How did they make sure that Khloe really didn’t call 911? Did Miley call the number for her and then hand her the phone while she talked to another guy? I just wonder how they pulled this off. I also agree with Evil Beet, this makes Khloe look level-headed and normal, at least within the context of the family that she comes from. She took charge and tried to manage the situation and she didn’t freak out one bit.

Photos are from 12-21-11 credit: WENN.com

On Tuesday, Radar had an oddly specific report about Miley Cyrus’s breasts. You see, Miley had been at two different events over the weekend, and her new-looking cleavage was on full display. I didn’t note this at the time, but I should point out that it had been a while since Miley had walked a red carpet for anything. She’s also 19 years old, and some ladies’ breasts are still growing into their 20s. I simply assumed that Miley just had normal boobs for a 19-year-old. Radar’s panel of “doctors” claimed otherwise – they were absolutely positive that Miley had gotten some bolt-ons. So Miley responded in a timely fashion, tweeting, “Thank you for the compliment but these babies are all mine. I wish they’d realize you don’t have to be fake to be beautiful!…HA! Yeah! And I’m 19!!! BOOBS GROW PEOPLE!”

[Via Miley’s Twitter]

Now, I’m not going to just blindly take Miley’s word for it, but I said in the other post that I thought hers were real, and I stand by that. They don’t look “high” and “rigid” on her chest. They have some sag. And I really just think this Roberto Cavalli dress did wonders for them – sometimes that’s all you need. Some support, and then a dress to hoist those puppies up.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Miley Cyrus was all over the place this past weekend. She attended both the CNN Heroes event, and the American Giving Awards. I thought she looked like ten kinds of hell at the American Giving Awards (in Jenny Packham), but at the CNN event (in Roberto Cavalli), she looked better, mostly because her face didn’t look so bloated and her hair was a slight improvement. Anyway, because Miley wore two low-cut gowns to those events, people started noticing her boobs. In particular, they noticed how Miley seems to have gotten much bustier (more busty?) over the past year. Boob job? That’s what Star Mag/Radar is claiming:

In the wake of Miley Cyrus’s busty appearance at Sunday’s CNN’s Heroes 2011 award, a trio of experts told Star magazine that there’s a strong indication the Hannah Montana star went under the knife to achieve the voluptuous new look.

Cyrus, 19, turned heads at the event as she walked the red carpet in a yellow Roberto Cavalli dress with her boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth.

“Her breasts are very nice and round and it looks like she has had them done,” said cosmetic physician Dr. Tahl Humes of Vitahl Medical Aesthetics in Colorado, using shots from the event provided by the magazine. “If you look at the volume, it appears she has had a breast augmentation.

“Whoever did them did a very good job,” Humes continued. “She might have had small implants, which is nice, because she is a small girl with a small frame.”

Humes cited the importance of the chest being in proportion with rest of the body, using an example that “Jennifer Aniston is a small person who has had small implants and that looks very natural as opposed to Pamela Anderson, who has very large implants and looks great … but that’s a different look.”

With more than three decades of experience, Michael Niccole of Orange County, California’s Cosmeticare said, “It appears that Miley has recently undergone breast enhancement surgery.”

Niccole noted the new-found cleavage might have been the result of a push-up bras, but other factors lead him to believe otherwise.

“Push-up bras are great for cleavage, but don’t help out a whole lot when it comes to the exterior breast volume, which is also what I notice in these photos,” Niccole said.

New Jersey-based board certified plastic surgeon Dr. Brian Glaat said the Disney star “does indeed appear to have had a breast augmentation,” noting her breasts are fuller and show more cleavage than before.

“The outline of the implants are clearly visible in the inner lower portions of her breasts,” Glaat said. “Even a large weight gain would not produce breast enhancement to this degree without implants!”

None of the doctors had treated Cyrus previously.

[From Radar]

Wait, that doctor is claiming – as fact – that Jennifer Aniston has implants? I will accuse Aniston of getting lots of work done to her nose, and I will accuse Aniston of inflating her face with fillers and Botox, but I will not accuse her of having a boob job. I buy that Aniston’s boobs are real.

As for Miley… I think that in the Cavalli gown, the support is just really good – she’s got her girls hiked up, and that’s why they look so “full”. You can see in the Packham gown that her boobs are actually slightly saggy and not as “pert” as they look in the Cavalli gown. It’s the sag that makes me think that Miley’s boobs are real – if they were fake, I think her boobs would be sitting “higher.” That, and they don’t look bolted-on to her chest. She’s 19 years old, and her weight is fluctuating, and sometimes that means that boob sizes go up and down – I went up a cup size in my early 20s, so don’t tell me that a 19 year old’s boobs won’t go up and down in size too.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Last night, yet another CNN Heroes event went down in LA. I don’t begrudge CNN for hosting these endless events for heroic members of the community at large, but it really feels like they’re doing events once a month, and it’s started to lose some meaning. Anyway, lots of celebrities came out for the event. Let’s start with Mary-Louise Parker, who is one of my favorite ladies. Unfortunately for the MLP-fans, she looked like hell last night. WTF is going on with her hair? I don’t even think MLP has naturally curly hair, which means that a hair stylist came over and spent time making her look like this. Yikes. I’m also not a fan of the black doily and giant crucifix on her chest, but the hair is the worst part.

Here’s Emma Roberts in a little cocktail dress. It’s cute, but she feels too “undone”.

God, I feel like I haven’t seen Christy Turlington in a long time. I like her hair these days, but the dress is meh.

Sofia Vergara in Dolce & Gabbana. I’m kind of tired of her style lately. And I think she should have either gone with standard black shoes if she wanted to wear black hose, or just wore those shoes with naked legs.

Brooklyn Decker, or all people, is my choice for best dressed of the event. The dress is Christian Dior, and it’s adorable. Her hair is cute, the shoes are killer, and everything works. Well done, Brooklyn.

Miley Cyrus came to the event with her boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth. Miley wore this Roberto Cavalli which… looks so much better than the Jenny Packham dress she wore a few days ago. See what a good empire waist does for her? See what happens when you support your girls? While her hair is still rather busted, I’ll take this look over the Croydon facelift any day of the week.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Miley Cyrus was at the American Giving Awards Friday night, same as LeAnn Rimes. Now… I give Miley more credit than most people. I think she’s smarter, more self-aware and more independent than most of the Disney people put together, and Miley has really taken herself out of the famewhore game this year, and I admire that. Yes, she probably smokes pot and she probably parties more than she should, but I think it speaks volumes that she’s not falling out of clubs and being an in-our-faces party-girl. She’s partying, and for the most part, she’s partying with friends and she’s doing it quietly. She got back with Liam Hemsworth, they live together now and Miley is rarely photographed, nor does she go to the opening of an envelope anymore. I think it’s smart of her to cull her public appearances, and it’s nice that her first red carpet in months was for an event about charity work.

But… her appearance. Yikes. Much of what’s wrong is just superficial styling stuff. Miley is wearing this wrinkled Jenny Packham dress, which isn’t the right color for her. Plus, it’s a badly cut dress and the whole effect is just unflattering. I like that Miley’s not “Look at mah biscuit, y’all, check out by boobs too!” – this is conservative for her. But it’s just a bad dress overall. The biggest problem? Miley’s hair and face. Look, the girl has been smoking weed, she’s gotten munchies and she’s put on some weight. It’s not a big deal, and she still has an enviable figure. But some of the weight has gone to her face, and when that happens, ladies, the worst thing you can do is give yourself a Croydon facelift. Pulling your hair that tight just makes your face look fuller. As for Miley’s hair… she needs to take some inches off. Her hair looks really gross and damaged.

So, overall… I’m happy to see Miley, and I’m glad she came out for a good cause. But she needs a new style to go with her new curves, and she needs to find some new hair people.

Photos courtesy of WENN.