We’re trying to figure out how to break up the “fashion” from last night’s VMAs, and I put fashion in quotes because no one really brought it, in my opinion. First off we have Miley Cyrus in a curious light blue Cavalli gown that mixed some kind of tiger/leopard/tree bark print at the bodice with a floral Asian motif along the skirt. At least it was demure, I’ll give her that, but it looked even worse from the back with that weird pattern continuing down in a thick stripe and clashing with the flowers. She paired it with some big dangling gemstone earrings and a diamond Lorraine Schwartz necklace, and it was over accessorized. She looked really happy and relaxed though. I find Miley very likable lately.

Demi Lovato’s little silver Mandalay dress was way too tight, low cut and flashy. She’s probably going for “grown up” but it just makes the mom in me kick in and want to tell her to go back up to her room, wipe some of that gunk off her face and cover up. She turned 19 a month ago, though, so I guess it’s her prerogative. At least it’s not another mullet dress.

Speaking of mullet dresses, little Selena Gomez committed that offense yet again. She looks like a newly introduced teen vampire on a CW show who’s about to get a three episode story arc before biting it in a disgusting blood-spewing death scene. She wore this gothic Julien Macdonald lace number. The high neckline with the lace, the sparkly vines and the feather-like parts is just bizarre. It also features cut-out lace sections around the bodice. Justin must have been staring at her cleavage all night in that ugly dress.

It looks passable from the side I guess.

And finally Justin Bieber tried to work a casual look in a black blazer, loose red pants, leopard-print sneakers and sexy librarian glasses. He won best male video for “You Smile.” In his acceptance speech he thanked God then Jesus “because, you know, I wouldn’t be here without him. He’s really blessed me, put me in this position.” Then he said he was sharing his award with all the other nominees. Here’s his acceptance speech, which was full of award show cliches but gratefully short. Justin brought a little pet snake with him for some reason, and he said the snake’s name was Johnson. So stupid.

photo credit: WENN and Fame

Beyonce’s last music video was a tweaked nightmare involving lots of lingerie, a really tacky wedding gown, and a bad lyrical storyline involving Beyonce whining about an ex-boyfriend on the day of her wedding. It was a hot mess. Anyway, Beyonce has a new non-single music video out for her song “1+1”. Her label says “1+1 is not an official single, but it’s the first song on the album and it’s the first of many videos which will be released to visually tell the story of 4.” Beyonce co-directed this with Laurent Briet and Ed Burke, and Beyonce has called this song her favorite on her album, 4. It was written by The Dream.

Random thoughts:

*Wow, Beyonce must be wearing the motherload of glittery Victoria’s Secret lotion on her face.

*I’m getting really tired of this ratty-looking blonde weave.

*Damn, her face is really messed up. Really, really messed up. She used to be so pretty.

*I feel like we’re just about to see Beynipple.

*Most of the production costs went for baby oil.

*Gross, the blonde weave being thrown around in slow motion. WTF, Bey?

*Leopard-print panties, bra and black garters? Why does every Beyonce video seem like a lingerie ad these days?

*The song is actually rather pretty.

*Green eyeliner?

*OK, this video is just ridiculous.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

It’s easy to grow tired of Lady Gaga’s constant shtick. She seems to have no “off” button and is constantly dressed in ludicrous outfits, spewing pseudo intellectual pretentious drivel about her “art” and touting how groundbreaking she is while she’s copying other artist’s acts. But after seeing her on Howard Stern, I have some new respect for this creature and the talent that exists under all that artifice. Gaga performed acoustic versions of her songs “Edge of Glory” and “Hair” and they were just incredible. Howard told her it was one of the best performances he’d ever had on his show.

Listen to this performance and tell me that this girl isn’t very talented. It’s hard not to get distracted by the faces she’s pulling though. (For comparison, here’s a link to the 80s style video for Edge of Glory.)

I doubt Rihanna or Katy Perry could sound that good singing acoustic.

In the interview portion with Howard, Gaga talked about how she did coke while she was waitressing in NY and called it “the devil.” The story sounded like most of the other crap she spews about her mythical hard knock life – exaggerated or a fabrication. “I did [cocaine] all alone in my apartment, while I wrote music. And I regret every line I ever did. So to any of the little sweethearts who are listening, don’t touch it. It’s the devil.” Is she talking about last week? She also joked that she didn’t have a boyfriend, since “it’s hard to find a boyfriend who doesn’t mind a good tuck.”

As for what she’s been spending her money on, if she indeed has any left after paying for her costumes, she said that her apartment costs $1,100 a month and that she paid for her dad to get heart surgery and a car.

Just for today, I’ll give Lady Gaga a pass for being insufferable since she seems to have some chops. That doesn’t explain her general existence though.

Here’s Lady Gaga doing “Hair”

Photos are from 7/18/11. Credit: WENN.com

Oh. My. God. Seriously, are there still people who actively believe that Beyonce hasn’t gotten tweaked?!? I wasn’t even five seconds into this absolutely AWFUL music video for “Best Thing I Never Had” (her new single) when I had to stop the video and just gawp at her odd face. She definitely did something to her nose, but I still thing there’s something weird with her eyes/eyebrow area too. BITCH GOT TWEAKED.

As for the video… WTF? Michael K is right – it’s part Victoria’s Secret ad, part David’s Bridal ad. I swear the song sounds like the David’s Bridal jingle too. Now, I’m not a prude (actually, I kind of am), and I can handle scantily-clad pop stars frolicking around in general, unless they’re underage raccoons….but is anyone else just uncomfortable watching Beyonce’s tweaked face stare down the camera as she wears this white Merry Widow and garters? Sometimes, Beyonce’s videos have a too-close “snuff film” feel, and this is one of them. I feel like we’re watching her honeymoon video, in which she was just recorded prancing around in lingerie, singing to herself.

And then the out-of-nowhere “video” from “1998”… with Beyonce tries a new wig, remarkably not blonde. This whole music video is utterly bizarre. I guess the video is about a blonde who hangs out in lingerie and wedding gowns all day, thinking about how her ex is a douche? The Jennifer Aniston Story, in other words.

That wedding gown is TERRIBLE too. Gold detailing on the bodice, and then those hip ruffles? Tacky. And to make it worse, her veil-tiara is much too big. Everything about this video is a disaster.

PS… who read CDAN’s revealed blind item about Jay-Z and his alleged 10-year affair with a French model? Interesting, isn’t it?

Screencaps from the video.

Yesterday it was announced that Amy Winehouse’s planned 12 city European tour, two dates of which had already been canceled, would be entirely scrapped. I read this news in The Sun along with the detail that she’ll be going away “for years” and waited to hear official confirmation. It’s true, we won’t be seeing Amy for a while. Amy did play one disastrous gig in Belgrade, in which she swayed and mumbled, scratching her arms and struggling to stand upright. The video was painful to watch. She’s clearly in the throes of addiction and needs treatment, or at least to be taken out of the spotlight for her own well being. It’s the right decision.

A musician from the band who opened up for Amy just told The Sun that Amy had to be pushed on stage to perform, and that she was protesting and “obviously needed help.” What’s more is that people around Amy tried to keep all booze and drugs away from her before the show, but she got ahold of some anyway. Sad.

ANA ZOE KIDA, whose band ZEMLJA GRUVA shared the bill, said: “Four British bodyguards simply pushed her to step up on stage.

“She did not want to and was making a scene trying to escape them.

“It was distressing to see, she obviously needed help.”

The Sun revealed management were baffled how Amy got sozzled so quickly as she arrived at Saturday’s Belgrade gig sober and booze was banned at her city hotel.

[From The Sun]

As a side note I googled “Amy Winehouse tour canceled” and found this story from 2007 when she canceled her UK dates back when her then-husband was in jail. Amy has been in a bad state for some time and she probably won’t reach a level where she can do an extensive tour again. Maybe she’ll be able to record more music at some point, though. It’s just a shame that she’s turned out like this, but maybe once she’s out of the spotlight she’ll be able to recover like she did before. I was surprised at how much better she got over the last couple of years when she went on an extended vacation to the Caribbean and had some down time.

Amy is shown out on 10/8/10. Credit: WENN.com

Amy tries to sing at 1:20

Amy Winehouse was too wasted to remember the words to her song during a performance in Belgrade over the weekend. In a video of the show, (above) Amy rubs her nose and arms, sways back and forth awkwardly and mumbles as she tries to fake her way through “Just Friends.” At times she seemed distracted by her arms, rubbing them and looking down with glazed eyes before she remembers that she’s supposed to be performing. This was supposed to be the first of 12 European shows for Amy, but because she was too out of it to even complete one gig her next two have been canceled. The last we heard from Amy she was in rehab, but she left after just a week there.

Amy Winehouse, attempting to perform while appearing to be under the influence, was booed off the stage in Belgrade on Saturday night after she arrived on stage an hour late, then stumbled around and slurred the words to her 2008 song “Just Friends.”

She greeted the crowd of 20,000 by shouting, “Hello, Athens,” reports the U.K.’s Telegraph newspaper.

Following the incident, Winehouse, 27, apologized to fans and canceled Monday’s scheduled performance in Istanbul and Wednesday’s in Athens, say reports.

Late last month, Winehouse checked into rehab for her ongoing problem with drugs and alcohol, the singer’s rep confirmed to PEOPLE. The treatment was seen as preparation for this tour.

In a statement following the Belgrade incident, Winehouse’s management said: “Despite feeling sure that she wanted to fulfill these commitments, she has agreed with management that she cannot perform to the best of her ability and will return home. … She would like to apologize to fans expecting to see her at the shows but feels that this is the right thing to do.”

Her next show is scheduled for Friday, July 8, in Spain.

[From People]

So Amy has a whole two and a half weeks to get it together. Considering that she hasn’t been able to do that in several years, that’s not likely to happen. The best we can hope for is to her to stay semi-sober enough to sing and remember the words. Maybe her record company should just send her back to St. Lucia and forget about trying to have her tour. She wasn’t quite sober in the Caribbean but she seemed to be keeping it together and it didn’t seem like she was going to go the way of so many other talented musicians. She turns 28 on September 14. I hope it’s not callous to say that I really hope she makes it.

This is Amy on 6/23/10. Credit: Barcroft/Fame Pictures

As you may remember, I actually liked Lady Gaga’s single “Edge of Glory”. It reminded me of the truly wonderful hit songs from the soundtracks to ‘80s classics. “Edge of Glory could very easily fit into the last few minutes of The Karate Kid. I could see it being embraced by John Hughes for a critical moment at a 16th birthday party. The song is dated – in a good way. Well, now Lady Gaga has made a video for “Edge of Glory” and it seems like she’s embracing the ‘80s completely. She made sure that the video looks like it came out of 1985 too.

You know what bothers me? Lady Gaga always talks about NYC, how she’s a New York girl and New York is what she’s all about and then… she films a video on an LA soundstage made to look like NYC. Just a small thing, I realize, but why not just shoot a video in New York?

But seriously, this video is both horrible and great. It’s horrible just in the sheer “I give up”-ness of Lady Gaga. It’s like Courtney Love foretold – Gaga is now a sad drag queen with no more ideas. It’s great because once you strip away all of the extra crap, Gaga still has a powerful voice, and she’s still capable of making hit music. STRIP AWAY THE DRAG QUEEN!!

Sidenote: does anyone else think that Gaga filmed this on the same “balcony” set as the end of Pretty Woman? Strikingly similar.

Screen caps & cover art.

Britney Interview starts at :58 in and goes to 3:30. At 2:45 she puts on a slight British accent that sounds like an accident, remember when she did that constantly?

Britney Spears’ new Femme Fatale tour stars this Friday and goes until the end of November with a whopping 54 shows in 53 cities around the world. She gets a six week break at the end of summer before she starts her European tour, which means she’ll do about four shows a week when she’s in the states. I would say that I doubt she’s up for it, but I said that before her Circus Tour in ’09 and that went off almost without a hitch. Britney is a money-making machine, and this time around she seems like she’s ready for it emotionally. She’s still kind of strutting around the stage and lip syncing, but as many of you have pointed out she has a bum knee and might not be capable of the more demanding moves she was known for before she had knee surgery.

Anyway Britney hasn’t done any non-pretaped video interviews, as far as I can find, to promote this latest album. She’s done some print interviews that sound written by a PR team with Britney-isms added for authenticity. Carson Daly tweeted in late March that Britney’s people had some incredibly strict demands on any video interviews. They had to be pre-taped, pre-approved and presumably edited before they could be released.

So here are two new interviews with Britney that were probably scripted and were both pre-taped and likely approved by her people. She still comes across as genuine and as trying, especially in the British interview above. She lapses into a British accent at one point that seems inadvertent but then she puts on the accent again on purpose for effect. She’s funny and seems somewhat natural and comfortable. I love what she says about how she tries to make her tour buses and dressing rooms like home by using the same shabby chic style she favors. (I’m not a fan of that style, but it’s Britney and if she’s into it more power to her.) It’s also funny that she says she keeps slim by eating “clean,” considering the rumors that her tour has banned hot dogs and cookie dough.

In the Entertainment Tonight interview below she’s more “deer in the headlights” but still seems to be trying and to really care about her fans. She gets excited when explaining how pumped she gets to hear the fan response right before she sets foot on stage.

There’s something kind of sad and reluctant about Britney in that second interview, but at least she seems like she really enjoys touring and seeing her fans. It’s more than I expected from her, and gives me hope that she’s doing fine and is ready for this. It’s not the first time she’s toured and it’s worth noting that her last tour went off very well.

Oh – on their website ETOnline is going with the angle that Britney would do a reality competition show, like Christina Aguilera on The Voice, but I think she’s just being positive about it and isn’t ruling it out.

Interviews via ONTD. Photos are from 5/14/11. Credit: PRPhotos and WENN.com

James Franco has been persona non grata to me for months now. Remember when I wrote about his Esquire profile and how he sounded like such a douchey wang, and all of these Franco defenders came out and were like, “Hey, he’s just artsy and cool, I love him!” Those Franco defenders had a hard time defending his sleep walking through the Oscars, though. And since then, I’ve felt like Franco and his Artist-With-A-Capital-A act is on the down-swing. Sure, he’s still getting movie roles, and he’s still an in-demand actor in general. But I feel like the tide has turned. Hopefully.

Anyway, in addition to all of the other crap Franco has going on (PhD studies, MFA program, movies, television, bungling the Oscar hosting, and don’t forget his little book, in which he tries to BECOME Kerouac), Franco also wants to pursue a music career. I’m sure this is all some sort of elaborate performance art. But at face value, I’d rather listen to Kim Kardashian. The “music” is described as “an EP of experimental electronic tracks with drag performer Kalup Linzy (who acted alongside Franco on General Hospital). It’s called Turn It Up and it’s set to drop July 12.” Prepare to have your mind blown:

You know what the lyrics remind me of? Magnetic poetry! You know those magnets with “deep” words and when you and your friends are drunk and mixing margaritas, you stand there “writing” drunk magnet poetry on your freezer. That’s what the lyrics are. “It’s bleeding… this pain in me has arrested me.” Or: “Hobgoblin iris crisis/river birth pinnacle!”

Thanks to LaineyGossip for the story!

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Aussies Nicole Kidman and Kylie Minogue were both at the Billboard Awards last night wearing black dress with beaded lace see-through sections. Both of their dresses were fug in unique ways. Nicole sported her usual matronly style and all her bits were covered. She wore a dress that looked like it should have ended mid thigh but somehow continued to floor length and gave us a glimpse of her legs on the way down. Nicole’s hair was really pretty in a loose side braid and I loved her earrings. I would have liked the dress if it didn’t have the see-through panel across the bottom and if she could have resisted sticking her hands in the pockets. She’s got an “aw shucks” look going on.

Nicole’s face is softening up a bit and you can tell she’s eased up a little on the Tox and fillers, although she’s still impossibly smooth and her lips look as plump as usual. When you compare her to poor alien-looking Kylie Minogue, she looks pretty normal. Doesn’t Nicole look a little high though, like she just smoked a joint in the limo?

Kylie has been cat-eyed and wrinkle free for a very long time, bless her heart. While she’s tried to claim that she doesn’t use Botox anymore, I think she means strictly Botox and isn’t counting any other injectables or work she’s had done.

Kylie wore a black crinkly-looking short dress with black sequins and rose details. The dress just looked like it would itch and it was bunching up slightly in the wrong areas. I could see her underwear through the skirt and it’s a good thing they were full coverage. She had on some banging black peep toe platform shoes with tiered fringe. I usually don’t like fringe on anything, but those shoes are awesome. She paired her dress with chunky white gem dangle earrings and a matching ring. It was all rather jarring put together, but I feel bad for picking on Kylie.

Photo credit: Fame and WENN