There are all different levels of bad ideas. There’s obvious ones like walking into traffic, and less obvious ones, like spending the day with Mel Gibson – it could go either way. But pretty much anything having to do with OJ Simpson is guaranteed to be a bad idea. It could even be spending a day with OJ Simpson petting kittens, and I assure you, something really, really bad will come of it. According to Page Six, OJ has expressed his desire to appear on Celebrity Apprentice – and Donald Trump and NBC are vaguely considering it.

It looks like there could be “killer” ratings in store for TV’s “The Celebrity Apprentice” if OJ Simpson gets his way. Page Six has learned the creepy double-murder acquittee has asked Donald Trump to allow him to appear on the top-rated NBC show next season. “Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are thinking about it, but are being very cautious,” our source said. “There’s a certain amount of heat associated with Simpson.”

[From the New York Post]

A certain amount of heat? That’s the understatement of the year. Yeah there’s generally some heat associated with murderers. Especially when you put them on reality shows. I wonder in what capacity Simpson would like to appear? Does he want to be one of the contestants, or is he hoping to appear in one of the challenges? Here’s an idea for a challenge: spend three hours in a room with OJ and try not to suffer a panic attack resulting from the absolute assurance that you will wind up with a slashed throat. That was somehow your fault.

Everyone knows Donald Trump loves attention, and any kind of publicity is alright with him. And I pick on Donald a lot. But if he has the basic class to pass on this and not give OJ Simpson any more attention, I promise to make fun of him one less time a month. Or at least I’ll do my best.

I’m old enough to remember the OJ Simpson double murder trial, in which photos of a bruised and battered Nicole Brown, OJ’s murdered ex wife, were presented as evidence. Brown put the pictures of herself along with her will and newspaper clippings about a 1989 beating she suffered at the hands of her husband in a safety deposit box “just in case.”

Now OJ’s longterm girlfriend, Christie Prody, has suffered a beating so severe that she was bleeding from her brain, with one police officer saying it was the worst case he’d ever seen. OJ’s explanation for Prody’s multiple injuries, including abrasions on her face and bruises all over her body, is that she was drunk and fell down. Prody tested negative for alcohol when she arrived at the hospital. She had been away for about a week and a half before she returned to OJ in Miami and was either beaten senseless or “fell down”

Prody suffered a severe head injury and massive bruises all over her body, sources told The ENQUIRER.

While O.J. says that Prody’s injuries are self-inflicted and explained that the 32-year-old woman went on a drunken binge and fell down, cops aren’t convinced, insiders say.

Investigators said from the damage to Prody’s body, they believe she was beaten. One detective said he has never seen such severe bruises on a woman before.

Police detectives are questioning Simpson at his home today, and are conducting an ongoing investigation into what happened to Prody.

Prody, 32, was rushed to a Baptist Memorial Hospital in Miami Feb 11 after she collapsed at a local gas station.

Police were alerted by hospital authorities after doctors found she was bleeding from her brain — and also had numerous large bruises and abrasions on her face, arms, legs and buttocks.

Prody had spent ten days with O.J.’s friends in San Antonio until she returned to Miami on Feb. 11. Simpson was with her until Feb. 4 when he returned to his Kendall home.

Simpson told police Prody’s wounds were self inflicted and that she had been on a drinking binge.

When Prody was brought into the hospital, there was no trace of alcohol in her blood, sources told The ENQUIRER.

[From The National Enquirer website]

Simpson has been free on bail in his conspiracy armed robbery case since about mid January despite stiffing his bail bondsman twice and violating the terms of his bail by contacting one of his co-defendants. Simpson and five men held up two sports memorabilia dealers in Las Vegas on September 16th of last year and OJ and two of his conspirators are awaiting trial. Three of the men have accepted plea bargains for their roles in the crime.

It makes you sick to your stomach to think that this guy committed such a heinous crime when he should have been in jail. He was let go under a month ago after being jailed for violating bail by contacting another defendant in his case. His bail bondsman turned him in when he failed to pay him a dime and then asked him to talk to one of his codefendants for him despite the fact that it was strictly prohibited. Prosecutors asked the judge to keep him in jail until his April 4 trial date, but she let him out with a warning.

At least this woman lived and hopefully she won’t have lasting injuries or any brain damage. I read the full manuscript of OJ’s “hypothetical” “If I Did It” book, which was available online shortly last year, and he seemed to be trying to justify double murder, if he really did it and all, and described how Nicole angered him by having candles and music playing when OJ stopped by. OJ caught Ron Goldman arriving with an envelope and accused him of delivering drugs. Ron vehemently denied that he was bringing drugs and showed OJ the sunglasses that Nicole had left at the restaurant where he works. According to the manuscript, OJ just happened to be there with a knife in his hand, and he had a friend with him, who is presumed to have been his accomplice. OJ never described the actual murders, just before when he was in a rage and after, when he was confused to find that he was covered in blood.

Maybe OJ will finally go away for a very long time now that he faces charges for armed robbery along with beating his girlfriend so severely that her brain bled. It may have taken 20 years, but at least OJ will finally spend some significant time, maybe even the rest of his life, in prison.

Header image is of OJ with the bail bondsman who turned him in and is from mid January. Image below of Christie Prody is from September of 2007. Thanks to Splash News for these photos.

Update: TMZ says that they contacted police, who told them that OJ is not a suspect and that Prudy’s injuries are consistent with a bad fall she took at the gas station. And I was so ready to call him guilty of battering his girlfriend.

[Details from OJ’s murder trial from CNN]

It looks like O.J. Simpson got another pass. Though he violated his parole and was sent back to Las Vegas last week, Simpson was let go again, though he had to post more bond. Which isn’t exactly a big deal for him, since according to his bondsman, Simpson never paid a sent on his first bond – not even the $40 processing fee. In fact, it was Simpson’s bail bondsman who turned him in for his probation violation. How did that happen exactly? Well not only did Simpson not pay a cent of the $18,725 he needed to give bondsman Miguel Pereira - who posted his $125,000 bond – but the probation violation that got Simpson thrown back in jail was actually a message he told Pereira to pass along to one of his co-defendants. So Simpson stiffed the guy, then told the guy to do him a favor and break the law for him. Talk about delusional.

His own bail bondsman, Miguel Pereira, snitched - telling authorities about a voice mail from O.J., asking him to get a message to alleged accomplice Clarence (C.J.) Stewart.

“I just want, want C.J. to know that … I’m tired of this [expletive]. Fed up with [expletives] changing what they told me. All right?” Simpson allegedly ranted.

Pereira, who runs You Ring We Spring Bail Bonds, testified at yesterday’s hearing that he ignored Simpson’s message for two months because he assumed he was just venting.

[From the New York Daily News]

The judge let Simpson go with a warning – not exactly the wisest move when dealing with O.J. She did chew him out a little, which was nice.

Rejecting a prosecution motion to jail the Juice until his April 7 armed robbery trial, Clark County District Court Judge Jackie Glass instead doubled his bail to $250,000. As live TV cameras rolled, she gave Simpson a wicked tongue-lashing for defying the court by attempting to contact one of his co-defendants.

“I don’t know, Mr. Simpson, what the heck you were thinking - or maybe that’s the problem - you weren’t,” Glass railed as a scowling Simpson sat before her in blue prison duds. “I don’t know if it’s just arrogance. I don’t know if it’s ignorance. But you’ve been locked up at the Clark County Detention Center since Friday because of arrogance or ignorance - or both.”

Glass ordered Simpson to stay in the continental U.S. - or spend the next four months in a jail cell. “Don’t get on a boat. Don’t go on a trip. You stay on dry land,” she told him.

[From the New York Daily News]

I think O.J. Simpson has a long history of showing that he doesn’t believe laws apply to him. The judge could absolutely have kept him in jail for his probation violation, and she should have. If you give O.J. Simpson an inch, he’ll take ten miles, and by giving him another shot at freedom, she’s shown him that she’s a pushover. Now Simpson and his lawyers are going to walk all over her and try to run the trial, just like his lawyers did with Lance Ito in Simpson’s double murder trial. I was initially optimistic about Judge Glass, but now it’s looking like it’ll be a replay of twelve years ago. Don’t give O.J. any grace.

Picture note by Jaybird: Simpson with Miguel Pereira on January 12th. According to Splash News: “The bail bondsman that posted bail for O.J. Simpson revoked his bond. The bondsman had bounty hunters in Miami Florida take OJ into custody and flown across country to Las Vegas. Upon landing at McCarran Airport in Las Vegas, O.J. was removed from American Airlines flight 1825 on the tarmac and put in a black SUV. Upon arriving at the Clark County Detention Center, O.J. was transferred to the custody of the Las Vegas Metro Police. News crews scrambled for video and photos as O.J. walked through the front entrance of the CCDC. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

It was pretty much inevitable that egomaniacal murderer OJ Simpson would commit some type of crime while out on bail on kidnapping (and 11 other) charges. Simpson has long believed that laws apply to everyone but him. Though he only had three conditions to his bail – that he not contact anyone involved in his trial, that he surrender his passport, and that he not leave the country – Simpson made sure to break the very first one. Luckily District Court Judge Jackie Glass is no Lance Ito, and Simpson is currently on a plane headed to a Nevada jail.

Looks like the Juice has dropped the ball again. O.J. Simpson is in custody and headed back to the slammer after allegedly violating the terms of his bail by contacting one of his codefendants in his Las Vegas robbery case. “The D.A. filed a motion to revoke his bail, and he’s currently in the custody of his bail bondsman en route to Nevada,” Las Vegas district court clerk Elana Pitaro told E! Online.

The former Naked Gun star was taken into custody by the bail bondsman Friday in Florida and put on a plane from Miami to Sin City. He’s expected to be locked up in county jail until a hearing next week. Authorities say Simpson, calling himself “Miguel,” phoned Clarence “C.J.” Stewart Nov. 16 to gripe about Stewart’s testimony at a preliminary hearing. The alleged exchange came just two days after Las Vegas Justice of the Peace Joe Bonaventure ruled that Simpson, Stewart and another codefendant should stand trial on 12 charges, including kidnapping and robbery. They have pleaded not guilty to all counts.

[From E! Online]

OJ Simpson really thinks he’s above the law doesn’t he? It’s amazing, but in a way it makes sense. When you get away with multiple murder, it teaches you that you don’t have to play by the same rules as everyone else. If the judge finds that Simpson violated his bail agreement, he will likely be sent to jail until his trail starts on April 7th. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I think this shows that Judge Glass won’t stand for Simpson bending the rules, and hopefully she won’t let his lawyers manipulate the law. I’m sure I’m being an optimist here, but I think there’s a 50/50 chance OJ will go away for at least a year. And this is a great start.

OJ is shown on 11/10/07 outside of court, thanks to Splash News.

OJ Simpson and two of his co-conspirators have pled not guilty to multiple charges including felony kidnap and armed robbery stemming from a coordinated holdup on September 16th of two sports memorabilia dealers in Vegas. Three of the other guys who joined OJ in the raid have accepted plea deals and will not stand trial with the others. OJ and his gang claim that they weren’t armed when they stole the goods. Prosecutors say they took tens of thousands worth of stuff that had nothing to do with OJ. A trial date is expected to soon be set.

OJ’s two children, Sydney, 22, and Justin, 19, are both away at college and neither wants anything to do with their dad. They are said to be “furious and embarassed” by their dad’s latest crie, which could land him in prison for up to 20 years:

“When O.J. murdered [Sydney and Justin’s] mother 13 years ago they were too young to understand what was going on.

“But now they are both in college and are aware of their father’s misdeeds.”

Sydney, 22, currently attends Boston University, while Justin, 19, is at Florida State University in Tallahassee.

“Sydney doesn’t really have a relationship with her father - it’s strained at best,” said the source. “She’s mortified by her father’s current situation.”

And Justin has confided to a pal he’s embarassed by his father, added the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 3, 2007]

Even if the Enquirer doesn’t have a source that knows those two, they’re probably right. It’s not like either one of OJ’s kids is rallying by his side and why should they? It may have been his stuff that was for sale, but he didn’t have to storm in there with a bunch of guys with guns to get it back. There’s been some speculation that he was set up and egged on to commit the crime, but he ultimately did it of his own free will. It will be interesting to see if any of those conspiracy claims come out in the trail.

Last week we reported that OJ was pleading with Fidel Castro to let him move to Cuba, where he could hide from prosecution. This whole story is just so bizarre, but this is the guy who committed double murder and helped make our society just a little more celebrity-obsessed as we watched him get away with it. It’s not like committing armed robbery and fleeing the country are out of character for him.

OJ is shown on 11/10/07 outside of court, thanks to Splash News.

In a story so bizarre it must be true, The National Enquirer is claiming that O.J. Simpson is pleading with Cuban leader Fidel Castro to let him move to the Socialist island nation, which has no extradition treaty with the US. O.J. hopes to escape prosecution for multiple charges including kidnapping and armed robbery stemming from a September 16 raid of a Vegas Hotel room of memorabilia O.J. believed belonged to him. Three of O.J.’s five accomplices have testified against him and accepted plea deals, but O.J. has pled not guilty and will go to trial with the other two guys that accompanied him. He could face decades in jail.

O.J. got away with double murder and he doesn’t think he should have to face the music for this crime, either, so he’s trying to get Castro to let him come to Cuba, where he believes he will be “treated like a king.”

“O.J. has had many sleepless nights planning his escape,” an insider revealed.

“He vows he will never let them put him in prison.

“Weeks ago, he started asking friends about countries that do not have extradition treaties with the United States. Cuba was mentioned - and O.J.’s eyes lit up.

“There’s no way they can get me outta there,” he declared. “In fact, Castro would treat me like a king!”

Disclosed the insider: “Simpson wrote to the communist leader that it would be a great opportunity for Castro to laugh in the face of U.S. leaders, something O.J. is certain Castro would enjoy.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 26, 2007]

The article goes on to claim that O.J. wants to move to Cuba even if he escapes jail in the U.S. because he thinks that he’s hounded here. He is also said to believe that the Feds have his phones tapped and that he’s being followed constantly.

If the folks at the National Enquirer made this one up I’d be surprised and would have to give them credit for originality. I doubt O.J. will be welcomed by Castro. The aging leader of Cuba seems like he has more important things to do than pardon stupid O.J.

Remember a few years ago when Ashlee Simpson’s lip syncing equipment broke on the set of SNL and she did that ridiculous little hoedown dance? That is the exact dance I’m doing right now, because two of OJ Simpson’s (alleged) accomplices have flipped, and there is a chance OJ might actually do some time! I’ll wait while you all do your hoedown dance too.

It never ceases to amaze me that people are willing to mess with OJ Simpson. As much as I hate the guy, I would be scared out of my mind to turn state’s evidence on him. But that’s exactly what Walter Alexander and Charles Cashmore, two of Simpson’s accomplices, are doing. The two were in a Las Vegas courtroom yesterday, and agreed to accept plea deals in exchange for their testimony against Simpson.

“‘He[Cashmore] can establish who was in the room, what was said, who had guns, who didn’t have guns, potentially who may have seen guns, who didn’t see guns,’ Cashmore’s lawyer Edward Miley said outside court. ‘I think he wishes he would have never met O.J.’ While Alexander’s attorney didn’t specify the nature of his client’s testimony, Miley said that what the Mesa, Arizona, man had to say could clarify Simpson’s role in the incident.

“‘What Mr. Alexander, I’m assuming, will be able to say is who told them to bring firearms, what planning there was, and what was said and done after the fact,’ Miley said. Simpson and his lawyers have denied guns were in the room. His lawyers have not commented on Monday’s turn of events. Speaking to reporters afterward, Cashmore apologized to his friends and family and said he was doing the right thing by turning on Simpson. Alexander and Cashmore both waived their preliminary hearings and are due back in court Oct. 23.

“Alexander faces up to six years in prison, while Cashmore is looking at a maximum of five—still, that’s a far cry from the possible life-in-lockup punishment that comes with the nine felonies and one gross misdemeanor all the codefendants were originally facing, counts that include armed robbery, kidnapping, burglary, assault with a weapon and conspiracy.”

[From E! News]

I would absolutely go to jail before I’d rat out O.J. You know that even if he doesn’t come after you, he knows people that definitely will. It doesn’t matter that they can link it all back to him, the guy is way too crazy to care. And either way, you’re dead, so it’s pretty much a raw deal.

I’m going to start taking bets on how much time he’ll serve. I’m guessing sentenced to 5 – 10, out in 2-3 with good behavior. Assuming he’s not ganged up on and… well you know. Justice is sweet. Best served hot, but I’ll take it cold.

We’re allowed to say O.J. Simpson is a wife beating murdering piece of shit now – at least the civil court found him guilty. I hate, hate the way he has been living in comfort while the families of his victims fought for a decade to get their $33.5mil settlement out of O.J., but it seems he might have been a little hard up for cash – and nothing makes me smirk more than the idea of him being hard up for cash!

A Santa Monica judge ordered the former football star to turn over his gold Rolex Submariner watch — estimated to be worth $12,000 to $22,000 — to the family.

But the Hall of Fame running back hit them with a fake — literally — when it was discovered that the luxury timepiece was a knockoff made in China, worth about $125.

“It was made by the finest craftsmen in China,” said David Cook, the Goldman family attorney who plans to return the watch to Simpson. “It’s a people’s Rolex.”

Los Angeles Times

Hey O.J., my dad is a postal worker and still has a real Rolex, you’re telling me you can’t afford one?

I’m also pretty happy that the man who allegedly wrote the ‘If I Did It’ book isn’t going to profit from it, but the families of his victims are. The victory would only be sweeter if I thought O.J. had written any of it himself. The only bit he probably contributed was the ‘I didn’t do it’ part.

O.J.’s hearing for his involvement in an armed robbery and kidnapping has been set for November 8th. Now the memorabilia he was trying so hard to get his hands on is being held as evidence. You know what I have to say about that? Hahahahahahaha!

You know what makes me happy? The thought of O.J. Simpson being someone’s bitch in prison. Yeah I know the likelihood that he’ll go to prison is pretty slim – it’s O.J. after all, he could go all Rambo on the inside of a police precinct and somehow get away with it. And I know the likelihood that he’d be someone’s bitch is also pretty slim – but a girl can dream, right? And that’s my dream, because I have a frighteningly retributive nature. But after the thought of O.J. going to prison and O.J. bending over, the thing that makes me the next happiest is O.J. losing all his stuff to Fred Goldman & Company. I can’t believe the Juice has been able to live his lavish lifestyle for so long, but better late than never.

“A California judge on Tuesday ordered the ex-football hero to fork over a Rolex watch, among other items, to help satisfy the $33.5 million judgment for the wrongful deaths of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman. David Cook, a lawyer for Goldman’s father, Fred, said after Tuesday’s hearing that the Submariner Rolex could be worth anywhere from $5,000 to $20,000. ‘In this case, if it’s Mr. Simpson’s, then it would be ours,’ Cook told reporters outside the Santa Monica courthouse. Simpson’s Los Angeles-based attorney, Ronald Slates, expressed doubts about the Rolex’s authenticity and said he had already collected the timepiece from his client and planned to turn it over to Goldman’s camp by Tuesday afternoon. ‘Know any Rolex watches that sell for 125 bucks?’ he asked, noting that’s the amount Simpson told him he paid for it. But the lawyer conceded that if it is a knockoff, ‘it’s a pretty good copy.’”

[From E! News]

The very best part? If any of that “sports memorabilia” that Simpson was arrested for trying to steal back is found to actually belong to him, he has to surrender it – so he loses either way. Party up in here!

“Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Gerald Rosenberg also ordered the Naked Gun star to surrender any of the memorabilia from last month’s purported Las Vegas heist that is found to belong to Simpson. He is currently facing 11 criminal counts, ranging from armed robbery to kidnapping, for taking the items. Simpson, 60, has proclaimed his innocence, stating that all the mementos belonged to him and he was just conducting a ‘sting operation’ to get them back.

“As for the cache of memorabilia, Slates said he had no way of handing over any of it because Las Vegas police have confiscated it for evidence. Cook countered that Rosenberg’s ruling states that should Simpson be found to own any of the disputed collectibles, which reportedly includes footballs, jerseys and photos, then they must be given to the Goldmans. ‘As we said earlier, Mr. Simpson is going to walk out of Las Vegas bust. You’ve always heard that expression,’ Cook added. ‘He’s not walking away with that sports memorabilia. That’s what the judge ordered, and he’s going to literally walk away empty-handed for all his trouble.’”

[From E! News]

I wish you all could see my happy dance. It’s very undignified, completely unhinged, and totally worth it. I love to see this wife-battering murderer getting what he deserves. I doubt much of anything will wipe the smug grin off his face, but maybe living in a box down by the river might be a good start.

Proving that skankiness can transcend the generation gap, the mother of OJ Simpson’s creepily Nicole Brown lookalike girlfriend, Christie Prody, has resorted to informing the media that her daughter isn’t a big bag of herpes. And by that I mean she’s letting us all know that Prody is faithful in her love to the Juice. Supposedly, Prody slept with Simpson’s gardener, Janos Gonzalez, and OJ went apeshit. You know how some people just look smart? Prody isn’t one of them. But it’s a relatively small percentage of the female population that are so stupid that they’d be dumb enough to fuck with OJ under any circumstances, especially romantic.

“The mother of O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend Christie Prody said her daughter is not the type of girl who fools around with the household help. Defending her 32-year-old daughter against reports that Simpson went ballistic when he learned that Prody supposedly had slept with his gardener, Cathy Bellmore, 54, told the Daily News, ‘No, that isn’t her. That’s not in her character. She’s never cheated on a boyfriend before.’ The gardener’s wife, Marlene Gonzalez, disagrees. She has said Simpson showed up at their Miami home on July 29, raving about how Prody and her husband, Janos Gonzalez, had had sex earlier that day. She said she gave the football great the brushoff, but when Simpson saw her husband, Simpson went into a rage and threatened to kill him. Police came to the home, but no charges were filed, she said.”

[From the Daily News]

And how exactly did OJ meet this Nicole doppleganger? Apparently Prody was in L.A. And waved to Simpson. He walked up to the car and asked for her number. This was right after the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Doesn’t that just give you goosebumps, butterflies, and heart palpitations all at once? According to Prody’s mother, Simpson is her second boyfriend. Ewww. Way to settle down with a winner.

“‘Christie was always a very shy, quiet girl. She gave me absolutely no trouble whatever,’ Bellmore said. Mom said it’s heartbreaking to see her daughter caught up in the latest Simpson melodrama. ‘She’s a great person who’s involved in a messy situation,’ said Bellmore. Asked why her daughter doesn’t split from Simpson, Bellmore said, ‘There’s reasons. I just can’t get into it.’ Asked if it was love that kept Prody tied to him, Bellmore said, ‘I don’t know what it is anymore.’”

[From the Daily News]

Boy those last two quotes really inspire confidence. Her own mother sounds like she’s slightly afraid for her daughter, but is still willing to hint that her daughter may not love Simpson. She doesn’t know what it is that keeps Prody tied to Simpson? Fear of a knife wedged into a major artery could be one.

Picture note by Celebitchy Christie Prody is shown in Vegas the night before OJ was arrested. Thanks to Splash News.