OK! Magazine has a new piece about all the problems Jessica Simpson is supposedly facing ahead of her wedding, which is rumored to be taking place this fall. The article focuses on whatever competition she may be feeling as her ex, Nick Lachey, marries his longterm girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo this summer. I would say that’s overblown, but remember that Jessica announced her engagement to Eric Johnson just a few days after Nick and Vanessa did. Nick couldn’t give a crap, though. It’s not a race for him. So I think Nick’s upcoming wedding may bother Jessica, but maybe not to the extent the gossip press would have us believe. She’s probably wanted to remarry for ages and the fact that it coincides with Nick’s wedding this year is just earning her more publicity.

Anyway some of OK!’s story sounds fake to me. They claim that Jessica wanted to have her wedding on July 2 but found out that Nick’s bachelor party was then so they rescheduled. We’ve heard that she’s having it on 11/11/11 for superstitious reasons so that doesn’t seem likely that it would happen this summer. I’m not above repeating this though of course.

They couldn’t agree on a venue
“Jessica had her heart set on a tropical destination,” a longtime pal tells OK! “She was pushing for Turtle Island resort in Fiji.” But that’s where she went on her first honeymoon with Nick. “Eric felt like it was a bad omen,” says the pal. That upset Jess. “She said she didn’t want to go through with the wedding if it was going to start all these fights,” adds the source.

She’s losing the weight war
Although Jessica thinks she’s good the way she is, weight is still a sore point. “She gets irritated that if you google her name, all that comes up is ‘Jessica is fatter than Vanessa [Minnillo],” says the source… “She feels like it’ll haunt her forever, so she’s insecure about it.”

She didn’t want to compete with Nick’s party
Jess and Eric were set to wed July 2 – the same day as Nick’s bachelor party at Tao in Las Vegas. “She doesn’t like competing with Nick. She didn’t want to walk down the aisle when Nick and Vanessa were doing something wedding related… She wanted her special day to be hers.”

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, July 18, 2011]

OK! also claims that Jessica’s sister Ashlee’s split with her husband has Jessica “rattled,” and that Ashlee is “urging Jess to take things as slow as possible.”

Meanwhile Nick is moving forward with plans to marry Vanessa on an unspecified date. They’re going to have a wedding special on TLC but he told the press over the weekend that it will be a one-off special. Nick claims that they won’t be getting a reality show like the one that skyrocketed him to fame with Jessica. He said “I would never want to put ourselves through a reality show again. This is a different process: There’s a beginning, an end, and then it’s over, it’s done.” At first I really thought he was talking about his first marriage to Jessica.

Some photos are from Jessica’s appearance on Oprah in May. They’re screenshots from this video. Jessica and Eric are shown out on 6/3/11. Credit: Fame

Since people seem to have a new interest in Charlene Wittstock and Prince Albert, I thought I’d do some additional photos from the Monaco wedding on Saturday. The whole affair wasn’t half as glamorous and A-list as they thought it was, but a decent amount of royals came out, and there were some “celebrities” like Karl Lagerfeld up there, judging us all. I think Karl designed Charlene’s reception gown, the tiered affair with the more flattering neckline. Karl has also taken Charlene under his decrepit wing, so there’s that too.

I keep reading that my lover Gerard Butler was invited, but there are no photos of him in Monaco, and I tend to think he was in California over the whole weekend. So, instead, I give you Roger Moore. Now, I like Roger Moore. He’s a tireless UNICEF ambassador and by all accounts, a lovely man. But he looks like DEATH. He makes Karl Lagerfeld look like the picture of health.

Here’s Sweden’s Crown Princess Victoria and her husband/consort, Prince Daniel. They seem happy and stable, but why isn’t she knocked up?! They were married more than a year ago. Gotta produce those royal heirs. I tend to think Victoria is too underdressed for the wedding, but Daniel looks nice.

Don’t ask me what Charlotte Casiraghi is wearing. It’s hideous, and inappropriate for a girl older than 12. She’s so beautiful, but I want to yell at her until she stands up straight and stops making faces. She’s like the Kristen Stewart of Monaco.

And here’s Charlotte with her mother, Princess Caroline, and Caroline’s oldest son Andrea, who looks nice with a haircut. Caroline wanted Andrea to get the crown – she was positioning him for that before this whole Charlene disaster. Perhaps Caroline will get her way in the end.

And finally, here’s Naomi Campbell and her married lover. This is what Naomi wore for the church wedding, but for the reception, Naomi totally changed into a white gown, of course. And if you want to criticize her for wearing white, she’ll beat the hell out of you.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Here are some photos from yesterday’s church wedding for the now Princess Charlene (formerly Charlene Wittstock) and Prince Albert of Monaco. On Friday, Charlene and Albert had their civil ceremony, so there were already technically married. Yesterday’s service was just for the Catholic Church’s blessing and stuff (I don’t know the technicalities of it, nor do I care). The bride wore Armani, and I HATE it. The skirt and the bodice of the gown isn’t terrible at all, but for goodness sake WHY do this neckline on a woman with extremely broad shoulders?!? Armani made Charlene look like a linebacker. Beyond the gown, I think Charlene made a somewhat better show at the church service than at her civil ceremony, where she looked kind of drugged out (tranq’d out). But we now know why she (not so allegedly) tried to bolt – there’s probably another illegitimate kid in the mix for Prince Albert:

It may have had all the superficial trappings of a fairytale royal wedding, but as Prince Albert of Monaco tied the knot with his reluctant bride yesterday, the scandals surrounding their often tense nuptials took yet another awkward turn. Officials in the Mediterranean enclave chose the day of his glittering wedding to former Olympic swimmer Charlene Wittstock to announce that the Prince would have to take a paternity test for a possible third illegitimate child. A palace aide said that one of 33-year-old Princess Charlene’s first duties would therefore be to stand by her husband if there was another public scandal.

Albert, 53, already has an illegitimate six-year-old son called Alexandre through a Togolese former air hostess called Nicole Coste, and a 19-year-old daughter called Jazmin with Tamara Rotolo, an American estate agent. Both were kept away from Albert’s marriage to avoid ‘media exposure’, an official inside Monaco’s royal palace said.

The source added: ‘The truth of the rumour is that Albert faces paternity tests following a claim by at least one former lover.’

But none of Albert’s illegitimate brood will have a claim to the throne, with the official saying: ‘Even if a third or even a fourth child is confirmed Albert will not have an official heir until Princess Charlene bears him one.’

The tests will go ahead in the next few days, said the source. French magazine Public has attributed two new illegitimate children to Albert. One is said to be 18 months old and the son of an Italian woman who is preparing to tell all. Other magazines have suggested Ms Coste has had a second baby with Prince Albert – an idea that gained credibility last week when the 40-year-old was pictured in Monte Carlo. Ms Coste received a multi-million-pound settlement when a DNA test showed Albert was Alexandre’s father, while Ms Rotolo has also been supported financially by him.

Lawyers for Prince Albert have said categorically that the rumour he fathered another child is false – but they made similarly fierce denials before genetic tests proved he had fathered the other two children. The source said he hoped yesterday’s Roman Catholic ceremony in the Palace courtyard, a day after the uneasy civil service, would ‘overshadow’ the latest revelations about secret children – although that seems like wishful thinking.

There was an audible sigh of relief when bride and groom said ‘I do’, ten days after Charlene was allegedly intercepted at Nice airport as she tried to flee home to South Africa. She has looked uncomfortable, even sad, in recent appearances while Albert also looked ashen-faced during yesterday’s service, despite the apparent glamour of the event.

All saw Albert wink at his new bride after she had said ‘Oui’ when asked by the Archbishop of Monaco, Bernard Barsi, if she wanted to marry him.

Wearing an off-the-shoulder Armani dress, the new Princess Charlene’s gown took the designer’s team 2,500 hours to prepare, of which 700 hours was spent on the embroidery alone, using ‘kilometres’ of platinum-coated thread sewn into 130 metres of off-white silk.

The gown would have been heavy for the new Princess, as she would have had to carry the weight of 40,000 Swarovski crystals, 20,000 mother of pearl tear drops and 30,000 ‘stones in gold shades’.

The dress’s crowning glory was the five-metre long train made from 20 metres of silk tulle, which took 100 hours to make.

The groom looked smart in a cream summer uniform of Monaco’s palace guards, with his sleeves embroidered with oak and olive leave.

[From The Mail]

So, Albert probably has another kid, conceived about two and a half years ago, when he was technically WITH Charlene (they’ve allegedly been dating since 2006). Most people think that this is the little scandal that Charlene learned about last week, and that this is what made her try to do a runner. My opinion? This scandal was merely the straw that broke the camel’s back. I think Charlene realized just how terrible all of it was going to be. I know she’s a princess now and everything, but I feel really sorry for her.

Oh, and here’s the dress she wore to the reception – I think it’s Armani too. Meh. It’s cute, I guess. The neckline is much better.

More photos from the wedding:

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Well, it happened! Charlene Wittstock managed to marry Prince Albert of Monaco in a quiet civil ceremony today in Monte Carlo. Tomorrow is the big church wedding where Charlene will wear her big white dress (I believe it’s going to be Armani, right?), but today Charlene just wore a simple, pale blue suit. So, did she ever really try to do a runner? Sources continue to say that she did, and this morning, I spied this headline: “Prince Albert’s lawyer denies Charlene Wittstock had passport confiscated at Nice airport during last-minute attempt to leave principality.” Did you hear that? HE TOOK HER PASSPORT. Seriously, this poor girl. This is like an international catastrophe. If I was Charlene, you can bet I would have been calling my embassy and throwing a massive fit.

A former Olympic swimmer from South Africa was officially declared Princess Charlene of Monaco today following her marriage to Prince Albert. Dressed in a sky-blue jacket and skirt, 33-year-old Charlene Wittstock smiled radiantly as she said ‘I do’ in a civil ceremony in the Royal Palace throne room of the ancient Mediterranean principality.

Her new husband, 53-year-old Albert, looked on proudly in a dark suit and grey tie as he put sensational rumours about his personal life behind him. The French press even compared the nuptials to Britain’s Royal Wedding – while lamenting the fact that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had sadly had to decline their invitation to Monte Carlo because they were on an official trip to Canada.

Less respectful Gallic commentators were, meanwhile, suggesting that history’s first Princess Charlene might not have the same ring to it as Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

Miss Wittstock had, in the words of Le Monde, ‘tried to escape’ last week – back home to South Africa after learning that Albert may have fathered a third love child. As the mystery deepened, Albert’s two love children and their mothers stayed away from today’s 40 minute ceremony at the Royal Palace. They are also expected to be absent from the Catholic Church ceremony tomorrow.

Instead French President Nicolas Sarkozy is set to join celebrity guests including James Bond star Roger Moore, former supermodel Naomi Campbell, and veteran fashion designers Karl Lagerfeld and Giorgio Armani. Organisers of the £55million celebrations surrounding the wedding – which included a concert by The Eagles last night – hope that it will rival the 1956 wedding of Albert’s mother, Hollywood star Grace Kelly, and his father, Prince Rainier.

Philippe Narmino, president of Monaco’s Council of State, officiated today, and confirmed that the former Miss Wittstock was now officially a Princess. Before the 5pm ceremony, Mr Narmino said: ‘It’s the event of my life. Me, who as a magistrate, has dealt with hundreds of divorce dossiers during 27 years, will be marrying a couple for the first time.’

Referring to the Paris news magazine which broke the story about Charlene’s attempted flight, and which still stands by it, Albert’s lawyer Thierry Lacoste said: ‘I heard everything about the child – white, black, who has been born, not yet born – it has to stop, it’s I don’t know what. There is no child, it’s a totally false rumour and absolutely without foundation. It’s easy to do your job as a journalist – to check that Charlene did not go to the airport. It’s clearly false, she and the prince were around all last week.’

In fact a senior detective from Monaco, who was involved in the later stages of the ‘incident’ at Nice airport, has confirmed that ‘Charlene had her passport confiscated so that the Prince’s entourage could persuade her to stay’.

Albert already has two children – six-year-old Alexandre, the son of Nicole Coste, a former Air France air hostess from Togo, and Jazmin, 19, whose mother is Tamara Rotola, an American estate agent. Miss Coste was spotted in Monaco earlier this week, but was said to have been advised to stay away from the wedding to avoid ‘media exposure’.

Mr Lacoste infamously issued fierce denials before DNA tests proved Albert was the father of Alexandre and Tamara. Despite his strong denial this time around, Mr Lacoste confirmed that he was taking no action against L’Express. And Christophe Barbier, editor of L’Express and a close friend of French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, said the magazine had no intention of removing the story from its website, saying: ‘We stand by our information which was supplied by three different sources.’

Mr Barbier said it was important to give Charlene’s attempted return home publicity because of the ‘number of crowned heads and representatives of various states that are expected at the marriage’.

Despite such enthusiastic predictions, the guest list for the wedding – which had been shrouded in secrecy until today – revealed that many senior royals who had been expected to attend were not in fact coming.

[From The Mail]

I’m starting to believe that Charlene did in fact try to do a runner, but she was somehow talked back into marrying Albert. Maybe she was promised money, or a completely separate life away from him, or God knows what. I’m also wondering if Charlene is being medicated, or if she’s self-medicating… wouldn’t you need to take a pill (or a half a dozen) to deal with marrying Albert, this dude who you clearly don’t want to be married to?

UPDATE: More photos from today’s balcony kiss. I swear, Charlene looks like she’s wincing.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

My GOD. Rachel Weisz married her jumpoff! And what a lovely jumpoff he is. According to Rachel’s rep, Rachel and Daniel Craig GOT MARRIED on Friday in upstate New York. Um… they’re both British? Why not get married in England? Maybe they were celebrating New York state’s gay marriage vote, especially considering Daniel Craig likes to roughly French kiss dudes outside of gay bars?!? This makes no sense, on any level other than: HOT. Rachel and Daniel are in a mutual dong-and-biscuit-lust/haze. They split from their partners last year – for Daniel, he split with long-term girlfriend Satsuki, for Rachel, she split from her baby-daddy Darren Aronofsky – so maybe they just had a “BAM!” moment of “This is right, we must do this, and it must be hot.” Or, you know, Rachel could be knocked up.

Release the doves! Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig got married Friday in upstate New York, Weisz’s rep confirms to Us Weekly.. Craig, 43, and Weisz, 41, costar in the upcoming horror film Dream House, which will hit theaters in September 2011.

Weisz split with beau Darren Aronofsky, a producer, in November 2010. The two have a son together, Henry Chance (5). In December 2010, only a month after ending her nine-year relationship with Aronofsky, Weisz and Craig were spotted packing on the PDA in the Englsh countryside town of Somerset.

The James Bond actor was married to actress Fiona Loudon from 1992 to 1994. The two have one daughter together, Ella (19).

After only a few months of dating, the sexy British couple was spotted “making out” at an anniversary party for NYC club, The Box, in February. “They were adorable,” an observer told Us, adding that the lovers left their table and “started dancing… and they were kissing!”

[From Us Weekly]

So… Rachel could never be bothered to marry Darren, Daniel could never be bothered to marry Satsuki, and now suddenly they’re both “Let’s Get Married!” people? I’m not a marriage person either, but I am a person who appreciates consistency. Still, I’m not going to yell about it. Mostly because I’m really turned on at the thought of Daniel and Rachel consummating their marital love. As far as joint hotness goes, in my mind, they’re right up there with Brangelina and Paul Bettany/Jennifer Connelly.

Congrats to the happy couple (and what I’m sure is a baby on the way)!

Note: People Magazine and The Mail are claiming that Rachel and Daniel got married on Wednesday, not Friday. I don’t know which is right.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I will admit to having a passing interest in Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo. I think they’re a sweet couple. I would watch their wedding and probably get a little teary over it since I’m a stupid sucker for weddings despite the fact that I’m more than aware of the reality of marriage. We’ve heard for some time that Nick and Vanessa were hoping to get a reality show so they’d be able to afford all those vacations they’re constantly going on. Now comes news that their wedding will be shown on TLC. This could be the start of a show for them, and they can piss away their relationship the same way Nick did with Jessica, not that those two were ever going to last anyway.

TLC will air “Nick & Vanessa’s Dream Wedding” (working title), a special to air just weeks after the couple’s wedding date, which they are keeping top secret.

Lachey, 37, and Vanessa Minnillo, 30, have been dating since 2006 and got engaged last fall. He and ex-wife Jessica Simpson documented their own wedding and early married life on MTV’s Newlyweds.

“We’re lucky to have such passionate and loving fans, and we thought partnering with TLC on this special would be the best way to share the exciting journey we’re on with all the people that support us and our relationship,” Lachey and Minnillo said in a statement.

The special will feature footage from their joint wedding shower, Minnillo’s wedding dress search and the ceremony itself.

[From People]

I could have sworn Minnillo was like 35, not 30. This wedding special is probably a kind of pilot to see if Nick and Vanessa rate their own full show. It’s TLC, they air sh*t like “Strange Sex” and “My Strange Addiction,” they’re not choosy. “Kate Plus 8″ is probably going to be put out to pasture soon so they’ll have a reality show vacancy to fill. I really thought Nick learned his lesson and wasn’t going to go that route again after the trainwreck that was his last marriage, though. After Jessica left him, he told Rolling Stone that being on “Newlyweds” really messed up their relationship. He said “Jessica and I began playing these parts even when we were by ourselves… There was a question about what truly was our reality. When you are on a reality show, your life ceases to be reality. It becomes TV.” I guess when your career isn’t really going anywhere you might not have the choice not to turn your next relationship into a reality show too.

Yesterday a lot of sites ran the story about a 51 year-old character actor marrying a “16″ year-old former beauty pageant winner and aspiring singer as if it was completely accurate and disgusting. I found some photos of the woman, though, and the consensus is that she’s not under 25 if she’s a day. She looks closer to 40, although it’s possible that a great deal of plastic surgery and injectables have prematurely aged her. Several of you pointed out that her armpits look saggy despite how thin she is, and that doesn’t seem to happen until someone is in their 30s. It’s easier to assume that this woman is lying about her age than to confront the supposed reality that she’s underage and has married a guy old enough to be her grandpa. It’s technically legal for 16 year-olds to marry in Vegas with their parents’ consent, though, and Courtney’s mother told Radar that she’s more than happy that her daughter married this old skeeve.

That’s good news for newly married couple Courtney Alexis Stodden, the 16-year-old pop artist, and her 51-year-old husband, actor Doug Hutchison, since even the teen’s mother approves of their marriage.

“We are totally supportive of this marriage,” Courtney’s mother Krista Stodden exclusively told RadarOnline.com about her daughter’s marriage to the Green Mile and X-Files actor.

“Doug is a wonderful man and we love him.”

The happy couple tied the knot in Las Vegas, Nevada on May 20, and Krista confirmed that at least one parent had to sign the permission form for the marriage to take place.

“They are very much in love and we are so supportive of this,” Krista gushed about her blushing bride daughter.

Critics are already questioning the couple’s 35 year age difference, but her mother wanted to set the record straight.

“Courtney was a virgin when she married Doug. She is a good Christian girl.”

Meanwhile the happy couple said: “We’re aware that our vast age difference is extremely controversial, but we’re very much in love and want to get the message out there that true love can be ageless.”

With long blonde hair and a killer body, Krista also wants people to know that her daughter hasn’t had any plastic surgery.

“She is a beautiful girl. She has real breasts, real lips, she’s not plastic.”

[From Radar]

So this chick is 16, she’s a virgin and she’s all natural. This is hysterical! There’s some evidence that Courtney at least fooled the Miss Teen USA people into letting her compete last year. I’m still not buying this story at all.

Courtney competed in the “Miss Washington USA” contest in 2010 as “Miss Ocean Shores” and she uploaded this video of herself competing in it. She was supposedly 15 at the time, and she is listed on the Miss Washington USA website as competing that year. Look at this photo. It looks like a different woman or like the photo was taken 10-15 years ago. At least we have evidence that she’s had her boobs done.

Celebuzz has some more on Courteney, including a link to this modeling site where she lists her age as 17.

I’m still kind of baffled by this story, so I googled this girl’s mom, Krista Stodden, and I found her on Classmates.com. It’s clearly the same woman that is shown with Courtney in this photo from Courtney’s website:

According to Classmates.com, Krista Stodden graduated high school in 1978, which would make her around 50 years old, the same age as her daughter’s new husband. Sure it’s possible that she had a kid in her mid 30s. It’s also possible she had her in her early 20s. The plot thickens.

Here’s Courtney talking about “Cyber Bullying” in December, 2010. This chick is such a piece of work. At 2:20 she goes off “My breasts are rawl… my teeth are rawl, my eyelashes are rawl… everything about me is rawl.” (I got that creative spelling from a commenter on youtube.)

In your creepy story of the day news, 51 year-old actor Doug Hutchison, who played the mean jail guard Percy Wetmore in Green Mile, is very pleased to announce his marriage to a “16″ year-old beauty queen. When I first saw this dude’s picture and heard “Green Mile actor,” I thought he played the inmate who killed the little girls that the big healer guy got framed for murdering. (Spoiler, but if you haven’t seen it by now it’s your loss.) Then I realized that I really know this guy as Tooms from X-Files, a murderer shapeshifter who could fit into small places. He also played a murderer in A Time To Kill, and has been in episodes of SVU, Lost and 24.

I wrote all that before I saw the wedding photo on E! (I read about it first on Popeater, where they have a pic of the guy that makes him look incredibly old and pervy.) That chick looks 30-something. It’s hope it’s safe to assume she’s lying about her age. She’s 16 like her boobs are real. She might have a 16 year-old daughter though.

Hollywood has seen its fair share of odd couplings, but this one is so out there even the newlyweds know it’s a little weird.

Doug Hutchison, a character actor best known for roles in The Green Mile, Lost and The X-Files, married aspiring country singer Courtney Alexis Stodden on May 20 in Las Vegas.

He is 51. She is 16.

Is there something fishy about it? In an exclusive statement to E! News, the couple insists there’s not.

With Stodden, a former beauty pageant queen, trying to position herself as a potential Nashville star, you might think there’s more to the story than middle-age actor marrying pretty teenager (and that’s a lot of story, itself). However, the newlyweds tell us they’re just mad about each other.

“We’re aware that our vast age difference is extremely controversial,” the couple said through their spokeswoman.

“But we’re very much in love and want to get the message out there that true love can be ageless.”

[From Popeater]

Minors from the age of 16 can get married in Vegas with their parent’s permission. Still, that woman does not look under 30 to me. I hope this is just a way to get this story some coverage, but her website does claim she’s 16. Maybe she’s hoping to pass for 25 when she’s 50 and her face is frozen into a permanent grimace. Tooms still looks creepy as hell in that wedding portrait, like he’s planning to eat her liver later to get enough energy to crawl back into the ground and hibernate.

Here are more pictures of “16″ year-old Courtney Stodden, from her budget website. She looks more like a cougar than an innocent teenager. But in her really awful cheesy videos she possibly looks 20-something. She wouldn’t get carded, though. If that’s her real age that dude should be going to jail. In some states, he could be.

Here he is as Tooms.

What do you get for annoying famewhore with enough worthless luxury goods to fund the budget of a small municipality? More luxury goods! Kim Kardashian has registered for gifts for her wedding (scheduled for Halloween with no sense of irony) and it’s alternately amusing and anger-inducing. Kim wants a bunch of krap, predictably, and instead of earning it herself by pasting pre-written ads into Twitter or showing up to the opening of a toilet, she’s asking her wedding guests to buy it for her. This is a time honored tradition for weddings that aren’t funded by product placement, photo rights sales and reality show networks.

Crystal napkin rings, a $175 mustard jar, $6,000 vases and WAY more! Kim Kardashian and fiance Kris Humphries have given their wedding guests a plethora of suggestions on what to get them for their upcoming wedding. The couple registered at GEARYS, an upscale luxury seller of jewelry and homeware in Beverly Hills.

The prices vary — from a $12.50 cloth napkin to a $7,850 crystal vase. The reality star and her NBA beau would also like a $1,650 silver-plated coffeepot and 24 five-piece silverware sets, each costing $1,600. (That’s $38,400 worth of Torchon dinner place settings on one registry.)

Although Kardashian, 30, isn’t a big drinker, she and Humphries, 26, have requested 24 Baccarat Vega champagne flutes, each costing $130. They’ve also requested 24 of the Baccarat Vega goblets, which will set one back $125 each.

The duo only began dating in December 2010, but Humphries popped the question to his reality TV star love in May 2011. Khloe Kardashian joked that her sister Kim’s wedding is “going to be royal wedding number two!”

According to the couple’s registry, Kardashian and Humphries will say “I do” on October 31, 2011.

[From US Weekly]

You can see Kim and Kris’ gift registry here. I made a quick spreadsheet to tally up the cost of the items remaining, and it comes to $176,478. That’s chump change for a family that’s estimated to be worth $65 million and who stand to make $5 million plus on this wedding alone. So why can’t Kim buy her own $40k worth of place settings and ask guests to donate to charity? They could even funnel the money to that sketchy church-based charity her mom uses as a tax shelter.

It’s all about the money to the Kardashians, and it’s only the best for the star who fueled it all with a sex tape and is capping it off with a wedding to a guy she’s been dating for a whole six months. Kim told Jay Leno last night that she’s been with Kris for eight months, but she just broke up with Gabriel Aubry in December so that’s not true. She also said there wouldn’t be sponsors for the wedding and they “hadn’t made up their minds” whether the wedding would be filmed. What a joke. She did confirm that there was a prenup, and said that she would have a hyphenated name, Kardashian-Humphries. You know she’s going to be under a lot of pressure to pop out a kid fast to keep up the family business.

Last night on Leno, Jay attempted to set fire to Kim’s $2 million engagement ring in an attempt to see if it’s real. I guess diamonds will not catch fire. (Sources told Gossip Cop not a decoy. Whatever.) The ring immediately burned up and turned black, and then Jay brought out the real one, showing that he’d just used a zirconia to do the test.

Kim also addressed the “affair” rumors and said she’s “never heard of the guy,” and that “it’s so crazy to me that any random person can make up a story, call up a tabloid.” She added “these kind of people should really be ashamed of themselves for trying to get publicity off of people they don’t know.” That’s so ripe coming from a woman with no sense of shame.

Kim is shown out on 6/13 and 6/14/11. Credit: Fame

Here are some photos from Lily Allen’s wedding yesterday. The bride wore an enormous Delphine Manivet gown and a veil reminiscent of Princess Leia’s Star Wars hair. I rather like the top part of the gown – the lace is nice, and it flatters her upper half. But the bottom is hideous with that flare at the bottom. I guess there was a reason for the enormous gown – shortly after the ceremony, the wedding gown designer confirmed Lily’s pregnancy. Lily is probably really pissed about that. She hates when people talk about her bidness… until she doesn’t hate it. Anyway, Lily married her boyfriend of several years, Sam Cooper, and her pregnancy comes very soon after she lost her last pregnancy at six months, back in November. She had been engaged to Sam Cooper for a while, although she publicly fought anyone and everyone for talking about it.

Lily Allen has two things to smile about.

The singer, 26, married Sam Cooper at St. James the Great Church in Gloucestershire, England, on Saturday – and the newlyweds are expecting a baby, according to reports.

Dressed in a gown with long lace sleeves and a fishtail skirt by French designer Delphine Manivet, the bride was given away by her father, Keith Allen, and then carried a bouquet of white roses as she made her way out of the church with her new husband to a waiting car as a crowd cheered.

“It’s beautiful that she is pregnant, and I am very happy for her. She is very happy about that – it is something wonderful,” Manivet told British paper The Telegraph. “For me, and for her too, when you’re pregnant you want to show that, but also be respectful, so the dress was perfect for her for that moment.”

Cooper revealed the happy baby news to wedding guests, according to the U.K.’s Daily Mail.

A rep for Allen could not be reached.

The baby news comes seven months after Allen and Cooper announced her heartbreaking miscarriage.

The wedding, which took place in the village of Cranham in the English countryside, was no secret. Allen’s wedding date was leaked to the press by an unknown guest, who sent the save-the-date card to British newspapers in March.

On Friday, Allen and Cooper were spotted arriving at the church for their rehearsal. Allen’s dad, an actor and musician, was also spotted with a ukulele – perhaps planning to serenade the happy couple.

Cooper, a decorator and business owner, popped the question during a romantic getaway last Christmas.

[From People]

Well, congratulations to Lily and Sam, for the wedding and for the pregnancy. I sincerely hope that Lily’s health keeps up and she has a quiet, uneventful, full-term pregnancy.

Here are some more photos from the wedding party yesterday. I think the groomsmen were in pink. And the girl in the boob dress is Lily’s sister, I think.

Photos courtesy of WENN.