We thought about covering Jonah Hill’s dramatic weight loss, but in the end, we didn’t do it because meh. I don’t dislike the guy or anything, and I’m actually happy for him because he really stuck with a weight loss program, and it’s really working for him. But at the end of the day, what can really be said about it? He was overweight and he’s getting healthier and good for him. Anyway, Star Magazine has a crazy story about Jonah’s decision to lose weight, and how his Moneyball costar Brad Pitt helped instigate the whole thing. By mocking him and calling him “Fat Man”. Yeah… not so clever, Brad. Maybe Brad and Gwyneth secretly have conversations about how much they hate fat people?

While working on Moneyball, Brad Pitt buddied up with Jonah, who he nicknamed Fat Man. But soon the joking turned serious, a source explained: “Brad started lecturing Jonah about taking care of his body, eating healthy and getting regular exercise.”

Jonah started avoiding “fried, fatty food and desserts at the crafts services table,” the source explains. But he struggled, so Brad invited him to early morning baseball practice. “They were exercising by 6 a.m.,” the source added.

Eventually, Brad not only hired a personal trainer but “also bough Jonah more than $1,500 in new, casual clothes as an incentive after Jonah shed the first 15 lbs.”

Now 40 lbs. lighter, “Jonah says he’s forever indebted to Brad for helping him,” the source explains.

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Is it possible that Brad has more in common with his fat-hating ex-girlfriend Gwyneth then we ever knew? Or does the whole “Fat Man” thing fall into the “guy code” stuff where dudes mock other dudes for various physical stuff and it’s all good between bros? Also: is it possible that Brad has that kind of spare time to devote to Jonah’s weight loss regimen? Maybe, eh and NO. Anyway, just FYI, Jonah’s people denied the story to Gossip Cop, and Hill is on record talking about how he just decided one day to try to be healthier. So… Brad probably had nothing to do with it. At all. But now I can’t get it out of my head that Brad is a Goop-style fat-hater and perhaps that’s why Angelina is always so tiny. Ugh.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

According to the National Enquirer, Kirstie Alley is now on the nicotine diet. The Dancing With the Stars finalist is reportedly frustrated that her efforts to lose more weight and keep it off aren’t as successful now that she’s no longer exercising for seven hours a day. Kirstie was spotted out smoking in New York, a habit she gave up seven years ago. It could have been a one-off, or Kirstie could be turning back to cigarettes to fight food cravings, if the Enquirer is to be believed.

Kirstie Alley… is so desperate to maintain her recent weight loss that she’s secretly started smoking again. [Kirstie] quit smoking cold turkey in 2004 over health concerns.

But alarmed over regaining 12 pounds since the May 24 DWTS finale, Kirstie has started puffing like a smokestack hoping it will help keep her appetite under control so she can maintain her weight, say sources.

“Since she isn’t dancing seven hours a day anymore and isn’t being watched like a hawk over her calorie intake, she slipped up and went on a junk food bender,” revealed a source…

She started binge eating to fill the void. “Once she started gaining weight, she realized that putting on pounds would only make her feel worse – so she started smoking to help keep the weight off,” explained the insider.

Kirstie was spotted lighting up at New York City’s Vault club on June 23, flaunting the city’s outdoor smoking ban…

“These days whenever Kirstie get the urge to eat, she fires up a cigarette,” said the insider.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, July 18, 2011]

That sucks for Kirstie. I haven’t smoked in about 15 years, but it’s not an easy habit to give up. She probably has found plenty of ways to justify it to herself. I mean this is the woman who truly believes that she’s a size 4 and is moments away from a 22 inch waist. You would think that she would just be happy looking at the fake tags her assistants sew in her clothing and not worry about losing more weight or keeping it off.

Kirstie looks hot though, and you can tell by her duckface that she knows it. (Although she pretty much always looks like that.) Here she is in a tight black dress at an event in New York on Wednesday night. She then had herself papped the next day in tight black leggings and a clingy black v-neck dress. She also wore this about a month prior to another event, on 6/20 at the Bad Teacher NY premiere, and sported a similar look on 6/28 for another pap outing, not that there’s anything wrong with that. She has some great accessories to mix it up.

Wednesday:

Yesterday:

Yesterday:

6/28/11 (differnt dress):

6/20/11:

6/6/11:

Photo credit: WENN and Fame

Here are some new photos of Kirstie Alley and her 22 inch waist. Don’t get me wrong – Kristie looks much better than she did one year ago, and I hope she’s working hard to keep the weight off. But the bitch is delusional about her size, and nonsensical numbers and claims just pour out of her mouth on a regular basis. This story is only the latest in an epic Delusion Tour in which Kirstie claimed she was size 12 when she began Dancing With the Stars, and ended the show a “stretchy” size 4 or 6. Yesterday, on an appearance on The View, Kristie once again claimed a specific number, seemingly oblivious to the contradiction. She claimed that she had lost “90 pounds” since deciding to be on DWTS. She may well have lost 90 pounds (I would put the figure closer to 50-60 pounds, just eye-balling it), but the loss of 90 pounds does not equal the drop from a size 12 to a size 6. Kirstie’s just horrible with numbers, right?

Kirstie Alley continued her fashion offensive today as she stepped out in a stylish ensemble. The Dancing With The Stars runner-up slipped into a belted shirt-dress, which she wore over her trademark leggings.

Kirstie recently has lost 90lbs since she first decided to join the dancing competition.
And Alley certainly appeared confident in her skin today as she left the Tribeca Hotel in New York.

The actress looked youthful, with her hair swept back into a ponytail, completing her look with a dramatic belt, a beaded purse and Christian Louboutin heels.

Yesterday she appeared on the U.S. daytime talkshow The View.

Speaking on the show, she said: ‘I lost 60 before [the show] and 30 during,’ she said.

Panelist Whoopi Goldberg revealed she has been a fan through both the 60-year-old’s highs and lows.

‘I always thought you looked good no matter what,’ she said.

As well as a rigorous workout regime, Alley also credits her transformation to her own weight loss programme, Organic Liason.

‘I don’t think I could have made it through Dancing with the Stars without it,’ she said.
Kirstie now has a new goal in her sights – to squeeze into a new dress in time for a holiday in Italy later this year.

She claims it has a 22 inch waist, although given Megan Fox would be one of the few women able to wear it, it seems she may be exaggerating.

‘I tried it on, and I can almost zip it up,’ she told America’s Life & Style magazine last week.

She is confident she’ll be able to get in it by the time she jets off in a few weeks.
‘I’ll be my target size by then,’ she said.

Alley, who was partnered with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, has kept up dancing since the competition’s finale in May.

‘I’ve been dancing almost every day since the show ended,’ she confides. ‘I like all the Latin dancing. It’s the best exercise and the best cardio.’

[From The Mail]

So… all of these claims are just Kirstie shilling her dumb Scientology diet crap? While I think that Kirstie definitely thinks her crazy claims are helping her “sell” Organic Liason, I don’t believe that Kirstie’s only problem is a crappy sales pitch. Her real problem is that she is now (and has always been) focused on the WRONG part of weight loss. Instead of throwing out crazy numbers that no one believes, why not focus on having more energy, looking better in clothes, feeling better over all? You can’t find happiness in the size six label that your assistant sewed into your size 16 dress, Kirstie. You will only keep the weight off when you embrace not only a healthy lifestyle, but a healthy mindset. That’s my preach for the day.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Pacific Coast News.

Matt Damon has been looking a little too “middle aged dad” lately. He was perfectly buff when he filmed Adjustment Bureau, but when he promoted it in early March he’d gained some weight and was sporting long fug hair. On the Piers Morgan show in March he was just as attractive as ever, but he looked like a more serious, older version of himself. He was sporting some cute but nerdy glasses on too.

Damon made an appearance at an event honoring him last night. He was one of the people celebrated at the “Made in New York” awards for his “‘significant contributions’ to the city’s entertainment and new media industries.” Damon lives in New York now with his family so that he can spend time with them while he’s filming. He told the audince that he used to come to New York with Ben Affleck to audition and that “our dream was…to actually some day get a movie… that [is] shot in New York.” Damon has fulfilled that dream several times over.

You can see that he’s taken some weight off, which he probably gained as sympathy pounds during his wife’s last pregnancy. He’s also cut his hair short. He looks like Jason Bourne again and like he’s erased ten years.

I’ll take Damon any old way, but this look is the one that won me over 13 years ago in Good Will Hunting, and this is the one I prefer.

Is it blasphemous to say that he should maybe consider dyeing his hair, like his good buddy Ben Affleck?

Here’s how he looked in February:

And in March:

Here are some newish photos of Kirstie Alley out and about in NYC yesterday. She and Maksim did several television interviews together, and Kirstie kept this great red dress on throughout the day, showing off her much trimmer figure. As we’ve heard again and again, Kirstie literally has no clue how delusional she sounds about her size. While she has truly lost so much weight, and she looks great and so much healthier, Kirstie consistently shoots herself in the foot by claiming to be much smaller than she is in reality. First, she claimed that when she started DWTS, she was a size 12, and she quickly went down to a size 8. Then she doubled down and claimed that she was now a size four or six. This is where she’s holding, with some extra delusion and nonsensical math on the side:

Kirstie Alley could not look more amazing if she tried. She may not have won Dancing with the Stars on Tuesday, but her hard work earned her a brand new body!

“My dress is half the size it was when we started,” Kirstie admitted on the show’s finale.

Wow, what a feat!

Kirstie wore the same dress on Tuesday that she wore on the show’s first episode — but it had to be taken in 38 inches! The DWTS runner-up went from a size 12 to a “stretchy size six.”

“The great thing is, I can wear all the dresses from when I was really, really skinny,” she tells USA Today. “But I have more work to do. I need to do some weights and some yoga. And I’ll keep dancing. But only Latin dances.

The actress seems happier than ever with her fit body! “[The show has] made me alive again,” Kirstie said to Us Weekly. “It’s given me a new view of what I want to do in my life.”

[From Hollywood Life]

So… her dress was taken in 38 inches and she thinks she was a size 12 when she started and now she’s a “stretchy” size six. The “38 inches” number absolutely fascinates me. Is she just making this junk up as she goes along, or is someone feeding her this stuff and she buys it hook, line and sinker? Once again, congratulations to her and I hope she can keep it up. But methinks part of the “larger issue” with Kirstie’s yo-yo weight is that THE BITCH IS CRAZY and she’s just really bad with numbers.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kirstie on 5/9/11. Credit: Fame

Kirstie Alley recently spoke with EW about a fall she had during a rehearsal session on DWTS. I haven’t been watching the show since the first two weeks, but maybe I’ll tune in again now that they’re down to the last four contestants. (Spoiler alert, here’s a link to a story on who was just voted off.) Kirstie blamed her misstep on low blood sugar due to a 1,400 calorie a day diet, . 1,400 calories a day is fine if you exercise for an hour or less a day, but it doesn’t seem to be cutting it for the intense dance training sessions that Kirstie does. She also now claims that she fits into size 6 dresses and tried to up the ante by saying she also fits into a size 4! She admitted the dresses are “stretchy,” but there’s no way she’s even an 8 as she tried to claim last month. Still, she lost weight and she can really move it. She’s earned her place on the final four. Here’s what she said:

In case you missed it, [Kirstie's fall off a stage] was featured during Monday’s Dancing with the Stars rehearsal footage of the couple’s sultry Argentine tango. She was supposed to jump off a few steps, but instead almost face planted onto the hardwood floors –causing yet another mega cringe-worthy moment for season 12.

Said Alley after the show, “When I fell off the stage, I [saw] three stairs below me and I started going into slow motion and in my mind, I go, ‘okay there are three stairs, you have on heels, jump bitch’ because you’re either going to break something or you’re going to take control of this and that’s why I jumped.”

The actress blamed the fall on lack of sleep and an inadequate amount of eats. “That day was a weird day because I hadn’t slept for two days and I guess my blood sugar had dropped,” she explained. “That rehearsal day was long, like seven hours or something. I didn’t realize I had forgotten to eat. I didn’t realize it was 5:30. I had breakfast, but time went like that because we had two dances to learn.”

The actress admitted to consuming only 1,400 calories, but has decided to take Chmerkovskiy’s advice by upping it to 2,000. “He’s probably right. Usually what I do to lose weight, I eat 1,400 calories, but I guess if I’m working out five or seven hours then you have to change it around a little bit,” said Alley, who wouldn’t reveal how many pounds she has lost since being on DWTS. She did say she is down to size 4 and 6 dresses but joked ”they’re sort of stretchy.”

While the actress’ third misfortune might have made viewers cringe, Alley said she “barely watched it” while waiting backstage. “It’s was sort of akin to Maks and I being Olympic skaters, just as we were warming up we were wiping out all the time. So I didn’t take it too seriously.”

[From EW.com]

Some commenters on EW are saying that Kirstie said she dropped 4-6 dress sizes, but if you read that quote carefully that doesn’t seem to be the case. She’s claiming to be a size 4-6. She’s only fooling herself if she thinks she’s a 4-6. (She won’t be the first or the last of course.) Either she’s stretching the truth to breaking point or someone is changing the labels in her clothes. She looks great and she has really impressed the public with her humor and skill on the dance floor this season. Still, the old grouchy cultmember Kirstie is there, daring us not to believe her hype.

Photos of Kirstie in a black dress are from 5/7/11. Credit: WENN

Kimora Lee Simmons lost 30 pounds recently, and she did it gradually and didn’t run out and diet her butt off right after the birth of her son, Kenzo, in May, 2009. Kimora did a bikini photo shoot with OK! and gave some vague quotes about how she lost weight by cutting out junk food, doing some cardio every day and running after her son. (Don’t they always say that?) I bet she worked a lot harder than she’s letting on, but I like how she says she felt just as sexy when she weighed a little more, and how she didn’t stress out over it. This is a woman who has zero issues with self esteem. Why should she? She landed Djimon Hounsou, the lucky bitch. She also says she’s a size 6 now, and unlike Kirstie Alley I believe her.

You look amazing! Have you reached your goal?
I don’t know if I ever had a goal. I was just trying to lose some of the baby weight I’d gained when I was pregnant. Kenzo was a year old and I was thinking about getting my life back. Now the baby is almost 2, and I’ve lost about 30 pounds since last fall.

Does it bother you to see photos from when you were heavier?
Well, I’d just had a baby! I’m not bothered about it. I don’t live my life with that pressure. I’m a mother, a wife, a businesswoman. I’m not an actress, so I don’t have that life where I have to be on stage. I have the TV show, I’m into production and I develop businesses. I don’t feel like I have to be a size 2. I’m beautiful. When I was pregnant, I was probably like a 10 1/2, but I don’t really know. That would be a guess, and now I’m more like a size 6. But I always feel sexy.

If I’m pregnant, I feel like I’m bringing a life into this world and I feel like that’s beautiful as well. Now I’m thinner and that’s a different kind of sexy – but it’s always sexy.

What is your diet-and-exercise routine?
I do very easy things. Running after a 1-year-old really will do it, and I have three kids. I do a little cardio every day, and it doesn’t have to be on a machine. I sometimes take a walk. I try to do it for a minimum of 30 minutes a day. I stopped eating junk food, like chips and candy. It’s about timing, portion control and eating healthy foods that fill you up.

What was the hardest part of losing weight?
Not eating all the great things I love, as if we had really broken up! And even now, I’ll have a little bread. I am not neurotic about it. I don’t do things that I can’t maintain as party of a normal lifestyle… It’s all about moderation and making substitutions. For example, I have cut back on my dairy and I don’t eat so much fattening red meat.

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, May 23, 2011]

Again, I’m not buying the “it was easy” line. It sounds like she really did change her diet around completely, and that’s hard work in itself. Still, I like her message that she felt sexy after she had a baby. She even said that most magazines are “fantasy” and that “we fix it or we airbrush it, and we have have a makeup team… I just don’t want the kids to think that we woke up like that. We have teams of people – hair, wardrobe and stylists.” That didn’t stop her from posing completely made up in three different bikinis with heels and getting her own photos airbrushed for OK! It’s not like she’s doing a Jamie Lee Curtis and posing in harsh lighting without makeup or Photoshop. Remember when her head was pasted onto another model’s body for her perfume ad? You know she signed off on that.

Photos below are from 4/5/11 and 5/4/11. Credit: Fame and WENN

Remember how Johnny Depp looked like hell for more than a year? Something was going on with him, like he just gained some weight and it all went to his face, plus some bad facial hair and a bad haircut… all of it conspired to make him look pretty bad. He looked kind of rough in The Tourist (but I didn’t think he looked as hideous as some of you thought), and then he looked pretty rough for The Tourist’s promotional duties. Well, that Johnny is gone, and he’s been replaced by a newer, sleeker, more chiseled Johnny. These are some photos from last night’s premiere (at Disneyland) of Pirates of Caribbean 4. Johnny wore some kind of Cowboy Lite ensemble, and he showed off his slimmer face. If it was anyone else, I would say he might have gotten some work done. Because it’s Johnny, I suspect it’s just a diet or something like that. Perhaps he’s taken up smoking again to suppress his appetite.

What does Keith Richards think of Johnny’s new look?

For some reason, Penelope Cruz decided to deck herself out in a full-length evening gown for the premiere – once again, it was at Disneyland. She’s usually not this much of an over-dresser, but maybe she just felt like wearing something big and feathered for one of her rare nights out after having a baby. I would have liked the dress if it was for an awards show or something, although the boob-feathers are a little bit overkill for any occasion. The only thing I can really complain about is the bangs trauma. I hate too-short bangs on adult women. And Penelope doesn’t need them – she gorgeous (and freckled) without the bangs.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Former American Idol Jordin Sparks has come under fire in the past for her weight. Back in 2007, when Sparks won Idol, an obesity expert called Sparks overweight and was widely chastised for it. A spokeswoman for the National Action Against Obesity, MeMe Roth, said at the time that “When I look at Jordin I see diabetes, I see heart disease, I see high cholesterol. That’s what’s so sad about this – she is not the vision of health – she is the vision of ‘unhealth.’” Jordin was barely overweight back then and those remarks seemed uncalled for. That Roth woman defended her comments later by pointing out that Sparks said she loved her body on one hand but was advising girls on how to dress slim on the other. It was pretty bitchy, but I guess it takes one to know one.

Well Jordin has lost 30 pounds recently with the help of a personal trainer, and she showed her new body off with a picture she took in the mirror of herself wearing a bikini and making a duck face. She looks amazing and I’m happy for her, but why did she have to go all MySpace and take a self portrait in the mirror? I guess this is a more honest route than staging a bikini vacation and inviting the paparazzi. (This photo came out yesterday but we’re coming out of a haze after so many celebrities showed up to the Met Gala. Kaiser was telling me that it was better than the Oscars.) Here’s more on Jordin’s weight loss:

The singer, 21, showed off her trim physique in a playful bikini photo on Twitter on Sunday.

Of her weight loss, the season 6 American Idol winner tells PEOPLE: “It was just a shift in my thinking. Instead of talking about being more active, I just got up and did it.”

“There’s no secret,” she adds. “Anybody can do it.”

Describing her polka dot orange and blue two-piece, she posted online, “I don’t know why but my bathing suit reminds me of fruity pebbles.”

Want to get her look? The savvy shopper shares that her “top is from Target & bottoms from Old Navy!”

But her slender look isn’t keeping Sparks from indulging in sweets every now and then. “Love that I can now bake my coconut rum raisin cupcakes because I can legally buy the rum! Ha!” she Tweets.

[From People]

She looks great and she probably feels deservedly proud and everything, but ladies – do not make the duck face in photos! There’s no excuse for it, no matter how hot you look.

I was looking to see what other stories we’ve covered on Jordin, and she used to wear a purity ring, explaining “not everybody – guy or girl – wants to be a slut.” It’s been three years since then.

Jordin on 2/11/11

On 3/19/11

4/12/11

photo credit: WENN and Fame

Snooki lost weight in the off time between Jersey Shore seasons, and she celebrated by posting photos of herself mugging for the camera while wearing her mom’s high heels and a button down shirt. She looks good and you can see the difference in her face, but she’s still Snooki and the duck face and the completely uncalled for smug is still strong. The pint sized wonder has been tweeting about how she’s going to the gym and told People that she’s switched out high calorie drinks like margaritas for vodka and seltzer.

“As everyone’s planning their night at the club,” she recently Tweeted, “I’m wondering when Gold’s [Gym] closes.”

In fact, for the past few months, the 4’9″ reality TV star has been working hard to tone up and lose a few unwanted pounds.

“Two months before season 1 started, I was 100 lbs. and really happy with myself,” she told PEOPLE in January. “Then I went on the show and it was like, ‘Oh man. We’re partying all the time, and who wants to go to the gym when you’re on vacation?’ ”

At that point, Polizzi told PEOPLE she was working with a trainer and trying to eat healthy foods. She has also been experimenting with Zumba, a dance class, and even showed off her gymnastics skills at WWE Raw.

“I definitely want to get in shape and be healthy again,” the reality star, 23, said. “But it’s really hard to eat good when you’re traveling because you see fast food – and you want to go to this restaurant and that restaurant.”

Still, “[I have] egg whites in the morning and chicken and salads,” she said. “And if you do drink, it’s gotta be clear liquors.”

Now, instead of throwing back Long Island Iced Teas or margaritas (“Which are, like, a million calories,” she notes), Snooki’s new drink of choice is a lighter option: vodka with seltzer water.

But with her trip to Italy looming (the cast will head overseas soon to film season 4), she knows the temptation to cheat on her fitness regimen will be huge.

“All we’re gonna eat is pasta,” she said. “I’m very, very scared – drinking wine and having spaghetti all day [would] throw me off course.”

[From People]

The other day at Red Lobster I asked to see the nutritional information. They have a giant margarita called the Lobsterita that’s 890 calories, no joke. (A regular frozen margarita is around 500 calories, so get it on the rocks. Also, never eat the Lobster, Artichoke and Seafood Dip – that’s 1,200 calories.)

Snooki lost most of this weight in the last three weeks. I found a photo of her on 3/30 (below) and she looked about the same as before. She posted these photos to Twitter on 4/20, only three weeks later. I’m thinking she did more than just eat chicken salads and egg whites to lose weight that fast, but she’s so short at 4’9″ that it’s possible she lost around 10 pounds. Still, she has a flexible relationship with the truth. She recently tweeted that she got extensions for the “first” time on 4/21, and claims that she’s not wearing makeup in this photo.

On 3/30/11

3/30/11

First two photos from 3/30, credit: Fame. Other photos credit: Snooki’s Facebook. Thanks to Brin for the title change suggestion