Dog the Bounty Hunter, the star of the A&E reality series of the same name that follows him capturing criminals who have jumped bail, was taped using the N word repeatedly while going off on his son for dating an African American woman.

Apparently Dog’s son taped a conversation with his dad and turned it in to the National Enquirer. When I first heard this story, I thought it was a simple case of the guy being racist, using the N word and telling his son not to date someone based on the color of her skin. It’s more complicated and stupid than that. The audio of the conversation is on TMZ, and Dog tries to tell his son not to date a black woman, not because he’s racist or anything, but because he’s afraid that someone is going to catch him using the N word around his son’s new girlfriend.

It sounds to me like the asshole gave his son the excellent idea of talking to the National Enquirer, my favorite trashy gossip rag, by telling him specifically that he feared that he would get turned into the Enquirer if someone heard him use the N word.

Here is the transcript of the audio, which is available on TMZ, in case you can’t listen at work or don’t want to subject yourself to this shit:

I’m not taking a chance on some motherf-bleep- I don’t care if she’s a Mexican, a whore, whatever, it’s not cause she’s black it’s because we use the word nigger sometimes here. I’m not going to take a chance ever in life losing everything I worked for for 30 years cause some f-bleep- nigger heard us say nigger and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine. Our career is over. If Lise was dating a nigger we would all say f-bleep- you and you know that. If Lisa brought a black guy home yeah (unintelligible) and it’s not that they’re black it’s none of that, it’s that we use the word nigger we don’t mean you f-bleep-ing scum nigger without a soul, we don’t mean that shit, but America would think we mean that.

[Transcribed from the audio available on TMZ]

So, in Dog’s twisted logic, he could lose his entire career because he can’t stop using the most foul racist term and that it would be his son’s fault for having a black girlfriend. Does the word just spew out of his mouth without his knowledge when a black person gets in his vicinity? The guy must have tourettes.

I just love that Dog’s son turned the tape over to the Enquirer after his dad said he feared losing his career if that happened.

It looks like all of Dog’s concerns could be coming to fruition. A&E has announced that it has suspended production on his reality series until they thoroughly investigate the matter. You know they’re just talking to their lawyers and trying to figure out how to tie up all the lose ends before dropping the guy.

Meanwhile Dog has asked esteemed Reverend Al Sharpton to help him, and has retained the African American pastor that performed his last marriage to speak on his behalf. He has also released a statement saying how sorry he is. The pastor makes sure we know that Dog has gone to black churches “to help inner-city kids” before all this happened. I wonder if he used the N word in front of the little kids, because he pretty much told his son that it just comes out without his knowledge when black people are around. Was he uttering it under his breath repeatedly while he was taking his vows?

Annie Leibovitz has shot another series of celebrity advertisements for the Disney Parks. Her last set of images drew praise for the creative way it brought Disney fantasy to life. Scarlet Johansson was Cinderella fleeing the ball in a flowing gown, David Beckham was Prince Phillip on his bucking steed, and Beyonce, Lyle Lovett and Oliver Pratt were Alice, the Mad Hatter and the The March Hare sitting on the famed teacups.

The latest photos are equally impressive. Rachel Weisz is a lovely Snow White in congress with the birds and animals, Julie Andrews and Abigail Breslin are fairies, and tennis great Roger Federer is King Arthur removing the sword from the stone.

My son hasn’t gone to Disney World yet, but if grandma has her way he will soon. It’s a fun, extremely well-crafted amusement park, but it’s still a pain in the ass dragging your kid around for an entire day, waiting in line, and walking everywhere. You can put celebrities in perfect costumes and add wind and props and it does evoke a feeling of other-worldliness and relaxation. These photos are beautiful, but if I want a fantasy experience I know I should be going to the spa, not to an amusement park with my family.

Here are the latest advertisements, which will run in US magazines in December. Rachel Weisz and Roger Federer are also shown on set. Thanks to The Daily Mail via ONTD for these photos.

Everyone’s favorite cheating crazy person, Anne Heche, is planning to marry her Men in Trees costar just as soon as she settles matters in that pesky divorce with her porn-loving husband, Coley Laffoon. Heche and Tupper plan to make it legal as soon as they’re able, and Heche, 38, wants another child because the court hasn’t granted her enough opportunity to mess up her first one:

“Anne is very happy with James and wants to remain with him for the rest of her life,” a friend of the actress tells Star. “She calls him her soul mate.” Also on her agenda - a child with James! “Anne doesn’t get to see [son] Homer like she used to, and it kills her,” adds the chum. “She misses him terribly.” Homer, 5, lives in L.A. with dad Coley, while Anne is in Vancouver filming the ABC dramedy.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, November 5, 2007]

Heche was granted 50/50 custody of her five year-old son, Homer, with her estranged and soon-to-be ex husband, Coley Laffoon. It came out in their divorce that Laffoon has been the primary caretaker for Homer since he was an infant. Laffoon claims that Homer gets upset after spending time with Heche and that she is incapable of meeting his basic needs.

Maybe Heche thinks she can get it right the second time, or maybe she’s delusional enough to believe that she didn’t do anything wrong with her son and deserves another child. Either way, I hope she doesn’t reproduce again. If she does, maybe Tupper will get custody in the divorce. He’s got to be stupid enough to have a baby with her considering that he left his wife and child to hook up Heche and is supposedly about to marry her.

Anne and James are shown at the ABC upfronts in May, thanks to PRPhotos.

Angelina Jolie has said that the only thing she argues about with Brad is politics, and maybe she told him he better not support presidential candidate Barack Obama, or maybe the report a couple of days ago that Brad was rejected by Obama’s camp was false. Brad’s rep has denied that he offered support to Obama, so he couldn’t have been told to take a hike if he never offered to help:

“Not only is the rumor not true, Brad has never even talked to the Obama campaign. Like many Americans Brad is learning more about the candidates and will make a decision about who to support in the coming months,” said Pitt’s political advisor Trevor Neilson.

[From TransworldNews]

The story originated with The NY Daily News, which quoted an unnamed source. It sounded pretty plausible to me, especially considering an earlier tabloid story that Angelina once threw wine at Brad because he supports Obama while she feels passionately that John Edwards should be the next US president.

Meanwhile the “Angelina is pregnant!” rumor is being warmed up for our eager consumption again. She canceled a speaking gig in Italy over “personal reasons” and some random person “confirmed” her pregnancy in a vague way, so it must be true:

Angelina Jolie abruptly cancelled plans for a speaking gig in Italy this week — something about how children are our future — and this has sent the Italian papers into a frenzy of speculation that she’s too busy throwing up because she’s pregnant. And somebody at the conference venue, near Rimini, said this: “Due to her privacy I can’t confirm her pregnancy, but I can say that the Italian newspapers are correct in their reports.”

[From Canada.com]

Angelina was at the International Women’s Media Foundation 18th Annual Courage in Journalism Awards on Tuesday, and while she posed with her hands crossed over her stomach at one point there was no real bump there. Cate Blanchett is surely pregnant, but instead of covering her obvious news the papers are constantly speculating on the state of Angelina’s womb. Maybe if Cate’s husband was more famous and she traipsed around paparazzi hotspots with her kids for a while we’d get more stories about her upcoming third child.

Header image is from Splash News. The other images below are from PR Photos.

Hayden Panettiere went to Japan to try and physically save some bottle-nosed dolphins from slaughter. She was with a group of surfers from Australia and the US who paddled out on surfboards while dolphins were being corralled into a cove where they would be killed. Dolphins are a delicacy in Japan and their meat is highly valued. They are also sold off to the captivity industry for use in “swim with the dolphins” programs and dolphin shows.

Unfortunately Hayden did not successfully prevent the slaughter after fishing boats blocked her attempt.

Panettiere, 18, recently paddled out on a surfboard in an effort to prevent a group of dolphins from being steered into a nearby cove and massacred, Sky News reported Wednesday.

She and a handful of other surfers from Australia and the United States were blocked by a fishing boat before they could reach the dolphins.

Faced with the ship’s propellers and boathooks, the surfers returned to the beach.

It is believed the dolphins were later slaughtered.

“It was really frightening,” Panettiere told Sky News. “It was so incredibly sad. We were so close to them and they were sky hopping, jumping out of the water to see us. … One little baby dolphin stuck his head out and kind of looked at me and the thought that it’s no longer with us is really hard to take.”

[From UPI]

Hayden’s new boyfriend, her Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia, is a vegetarian and he may have influenced her decision to take on this cause.

Here’s a link to an incredibly sad video about how the dolphins are killed in Japan. Warning: I didn’t post it here because it’s very graphic and hard to watch.

I’m a meat and fish eater and usually support causes other than animal rights, but the brutal and cruel way these sentient, gentle animals are killed makes me so upset. Hayden may have failed in her attempt to save that group of dolphins, but she has brought awareness to a very barbaric practice that needs to be stopped. Before Hayden took on this cause I was not aware that dolphins were slaughtered in Japan. Although Hayden has pretty much annoyed me up until this point, I have to say I have a newfound respect for her now.

You can learn more about how you can help save Japan’s dolphins at SaveJapanDolphins.org.

Paris Hilton gave a red carpet interview before her Halloween party at LAX last night and said that her super-short army fatigue dress was in honor of our troops. She said “I’m wearing this for the troops because I know they’re having a hard time right now and don’t really get to celebrate Halloween.” It looks like she’s doing that charity work she mentioned on Larry King Live back when she got out of jail.

At least she gave a shout out to the troops serving in Iraq.

Maybe every time Paris wears a slutty outfit she can come up with a creative charitable reason. Like she’s wearing a bikini in honor of the poor refugees who don’t have clothing. That way, she can continue to wear skimpy outfits while promoting various vaguely related causes.

Speaking of Paris and charity in the same breath, her Rwanda trip hasn’t been canceled, just postponed. She told Extra that the trip will be next year. In the mean time all she has to do is continue dressing like a slut and she can feel content that she’s helping save the world.

Update: Paris dressed as a prisoner later that night and said it was in honor of the disproportionate number of minorities incarcerated in the US. Ok, I made that second part up.

Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend, snowboarder Riley Giles, who is either 24 or 25 depending on who you believe, has a rap sheet that rivals careless Lindsays. He was on probation in Utah for forging a Xanax prescription, and was arrested for DUI in Vegas in May of this year. Since Giles failed to tell his Utah probation officer that he was busted for DUI in another state he could be facing jail time. What’s more is that his then-fiance, Breanna Tierney, was injured in the accident that got him arrested for DUI and that makes it more jail-worthy:

“Riley failed to inform his Utah probation officer about his felony arrest in Las Vegas,” confirmed an insider at the Third District Court in Utah.

“It was brought to our attention after The Enquirer article came out last week. In the state of Utah, DWI with an accident automatically enhances the charges. We also understand that a passenger was involved and injured, and if that’s true, the judge could send Mr. Giles to jail.

“I’ve seen probation violations far less than Mr. Giles’ offenses result in jail time.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 5, 2007]

I love when celebrities date no-name people who are con artists and/or have serious legal trouble. It brings a fresh wind of gossip to the otherwise limited and stale field of celebrity fuck ups.

Lindsay is legally obligated to serve just one day in jail by January 18, 2008, to pay her debt to society for the dangerous drunken car chase she undertook just months after another drunken car crash. Maybe she’ll lose her rehab boyfriend to jail since she doesn’t have to serve adequate time for her offenses. It only seems fitting, but will undoubtedly be far less painful to Lindsay than having to do the time herself.

Here’s Lohan and Giles not looking drunk or high or anything last night at Il Sole. Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

The Britney ban has been lifted, but we’ve vowed not to get carried away and report on her every little misadventure: “Britney goes to the deli!” “Britney forgets to wear shoes!” “Britney swats fly off arm!” “Britney goes to the deli and forgets to wear shoes and swats a fly off her arm!” But we will occasionally write about her - never more than once a day, with a goal of three times a week max. I have to admit to have a slight BS infatuation: such a public downward spiral is a bit addictive to watch. Plus you have to think back on when she was “normal” and ask yourself if she’s always been this crass and crazy (remember when she called everyone ma’am?) or did it just kick in a few years ago? These are the questions that keep me up at night. So with that caveat: our one Britney story of the week.

Britney Spears invited a man to snort cocaine off her chest during a wild party at her Hollywood mansion just two days after losing visitation rights to see her sons, it has been reported. Scott Kohler, 29, claims he and a group of 10 other strangers were invited to join Spears for a night of heavy partying on October 19, when the troubled star drowned her sorrows with vodka and cavorted with the men in her jacuzzi. And musician Kohler alleges the 25-year-old singer accepted an offer of cocaine from a fellow partygoer, after he “joked he wanted to do a line off (Spears’) chest, and she agreed”, reports British newspaper The Sun.

Kohler adds, “(Spears) was in a great mood. She didn’t have a care in the world.” The latest revelations will be a blow to Spears as she fights her ex-husband Kevin Federline for custody of two-year-old Sean Preston and one-year-old Jayden James. She has since won back visitation rights to see her two boys three times a week, but must comply with an earlier court order to undergo mandatory drug and alcohol tests and well as attend joint parenting sessions with dancer Federline. The former couple’s next custody hearing is set for November 26.

[From Starpulse]

Well I guess that explains more of Spears’ “Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, F**k it” comment to reporters last week, when asked how her case was going. I’m pretty sure that she tends to do all of those things at least twice an hour. Sometimes if she doesn’t have any cocaine or a guy around, she has to substitute one for the other, but Britney Spears is nothing if not industrious, right?

In other related news, Brit’s new album is actually getting some pretty good reviews, and is expected to perform decently, considering she won’t be doing any promotion for it. But she can use the CD to snort her cocaine from.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Britney driving home from a Halloween party at Park Beverly estates with her two sons Jayden James, Sean Preston and a friend. She appears to have attended at least three separate parties: Splash noted:. When Britney left the party an hour later her youngest son Jayden James looks quite visibly upset in the back seat of her car. Header image of Britney arriving at Heidi Klum’s Halloween party in Hollywood. There was also a third party where she donned a sombrero and harlequin mask. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

I love the way Stephen Colbert takes jokes way too far. There was the time he claimed that African elephants were no longer endangered and expanded in number to three times their previous population in just six months. As a result, so many changes had been posted to Wikipedia that they had to block access to both the “elephant” and “Stephen Colbert” articles. He’s more the willing to take his humor beyond his show and mess with the everyday as well. I think all is fair in love and humor, but even I’m a little surprised that Colbert is actually trying to get his name on the South Carolina primary ballot – because I’m presuming it’s all for a joke. That’s a really, really involved joke – but if you’re really committed to it, I guess you have to take it all the way.

It’s no joke: Stephen Colbert really is running for president. The mock conservative pundit, 43, is expected to file paperwork Thursday to enter South Carolina’s Democratic primary, CNN reports. Colbert announced his bid October 16, declaring on his Comedy Central show The Colbert Report that he would run as both a Democrat and Republican so “I can lose twice.” Perhaps price made him change his mind? The fee to get on the GOP ballot is $35,000. (Colbert only has to cough up $2,500 — or get 3,000 signatures — to get on the Democrat ballot.)

But Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton shouldn’t start worrying just yet: South Carolina Democratic officials will meet Thursday to determine whether Colbert is “nationally viable” and has spent enough time campaigning in his home state before putting him on the ballot, according to CNN.

[From Us Weekly]

Something tells me Colbert won’t be deemed “nationally viable” – though I’m pretty sure he could take a chunk of votes away from other Democrats and really mess with the polls. It’ll probably make for some good clips on his show, though I would have found it much more amusing to mess with the Republicans. Does anyone else find it telling that you have to pony up $35,000 to run as a Republican, but only $2,500 (or 3,000 signatures) to run as a Democrat? You’d think that, if nothing else, Comedy Central could have dug the money up. Colbert vs. Obama? Mildly amusing. Colbert vs. Giuliani? Now that’s funny.

Update by JayBird: Lifeline Live just reported: “South Carolina Democrats don’t think Stephen Colbert’s presidential bid is all that funny. Colbert filed to get on the ballot as a Democratic candidate in his native South Carolina. His campaign paid a $2,500 filing fee just before the noon deadline today, but after about 40 minutes of discussion by top party officials, the executive council voted 13-3 to keep the host of The Colbert Report off the ballot. “He’s really trying to use South Carolina Democrats as suckers so he can further a comedy routine,” said Waring Howe, a member of the executive council. He will be able to get his money back.”

I think I’m one of the only people around that isn’t skeptical about Jake Gyllenhaal’s sexuality; but then again I’m adorably naive that way. Just because he hangs out with a lot of men? Don’t most guys have a lot of guy friends? Okay he does have an affinity for bicycle shorts, but it’s not like he wears them to dinner or anything. That I know of. I don’t think their romance is manufactured, but I do find it odd that they appeared to go to great lengths to hide it, and then all of a sudden went public when their movie came out. Massively coincidental, but whatever. From what’s reported about Reese and Jake, they both seem like pretty similar personalities: nice if a bit “Type A.”

Jake supposedly really wants to be a dad and loves Reese’s kids. During those initial rumblings of a relationship several months ago, I remember reading that he was actually being a bit too parental towards Reese’s kids. But they seem to have established some sort of relationship that works: the two of them took her kids trick or treating last night, and seem to have a cute (almost too cute) relationship with her kids.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon had another PDA-packed public date Wednesday, taking Witherspoon’s two children, Ava, 8, and Deacon, 4, trick or treating in L.A.’s Brentwood neighborhood. Witherspoon, 31, dressed as a witch; Gyllenhaal, 26, an ape. “They were holding hands and swinging them in the air as they walked around the neighborhood,” adds a witness, who says Gyllenhaal often lifted up his gorilla mask to smooch his Rendition co-star. “Reese was laughing at everything Jake was saying.”

As Ava (also in witch wardrobe) and Deacon (dressed as a super hero) ran up to every door for treats, “Reese and Jake waited on the sidewalk and flirted,” the onlooker tells Usmagazine.com. They even started to act like a pair of giddy kids themselves. “Jake tapped Reese on the butt and then she hit him back — they began running a circle hitting each other!” the witness says. “Then Jake picked Reese up off her feet and she screamed.”

Gyllenhaal seemed to play it cool during his first public outing with Witherspoon’s children. “Jake ran up to Deacon with the gorilla mask and pretended to scare him!” the onlooker says. “Deacon laughed.” He also had a few scares for Witherspoon. Adds the witness, “Sometimes he came up from behind and nuzzled his big hairy mask into her neck.”

[From US Weekly]

Ahh, I remember the first time a guy came up from behind me and nuzzled his big hairy… wait, no. Never mind. It’ll be interesting to see if this all pans out. The story seems a little contrived, but it’s hard to tell if that’s just due to the “family friendly” writing style, or if it really was a little hackneyed. They do seem a little too perfectly arranged, but people have said that about both of them seperately for years, so it makes sense that it would apply to them as a couple, too.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Reese on “Ellen” last week where she showed a picture of her Halloween costume from last year. Images thanks to Splash Photos.