Ah, lets’ just go ahead and analyze (and over-analyze) everything Brangelina. Brad and Angie made it to at the Golden Globes red carpet with plenty of time to schmooze the media outlets. Brad wore a three-piece Ferragamo tuxedo which… no one paid attention to. People only looked at Brad’s cane and his hair. He looked scruffy, but I was just happy that he wasn’t wearing sunglasses like a jackass. As for Angelina, she was in this cream and red Atelier Versace. Okay, Brangeloonies, it’s time for some hard truths: I really didn’t like this gown. Seriously. It washed her out, even with the red streak. It looked padded in the bust and butt, and the cut was really weird throughout the bodice and shoulders. Now, I didn’t loathe the look, and I’m aware that there are mixed opinions. My mom loved the whole thing, and CB thought her lipstick was the biggest problem. So, go ahead and fight about it. I’m just saying, I think she could have looked so much better. And hey, at least it wasn’t a motherchucking sack.

Shall we talk about the Ryan Seacrest interview? I was laughing my ass off. You know Ryan and Angelina pretty much hate each other, right? And it goes back to the 2007 Golden Globes – go here for a minor review. Anyway, last night, Angelina wore a stunningly direct bit face while talking to Ryan, and I was totally rooting for her to smack the hell out of him. Does it even matter what they said to each other? Nope. The subtext was clear. Ryan was all, “This bitch.” And Angelina was all, “Come at me, a–hole. I’ll kneecap your ass too.”

As for Brangelina at the actual show – they were front and center, and there were some gratuitous cut-aways to them, but not as many as in years past. Angelina lost Best Foreign Film (while Madonna was presenting!) and Brad lost Best Actor, but both got to present. During the ceremony, Angelina wrapped herself up in a matching shawl or jacket which was not cute. And thankfully, the cameras didn’t pan to Angelina when Ricky Gervais made ANOTHER crack about The Tourist. All in all, a disappointing night for the Brangelina Brand.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I always love seeing Angelina Jolie in a suit. These are photos from the American Cinematheque’s 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards Foreign-Language Nominee Event, in which Angelina joined her fellow Golden Globe-nominated directors for some photo ops, interviews, and… lunch, maybe? She posed with Aida Takla O’Reilly (the shorter, older dude), who is president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and with Pedro Almodovar, who is nominated for The Skin I Live In. She also posed with all of her fellow “Best Foreign Language” nominees/directors.

According to Just Jared, Angelina’s ensemble was a mix of a Michael Kors dress and a Tom Ford jacket. She wore Michael Kors last week too – Kors designed that coat she wore in Washington, D.C. Maybe she’ll be wearing Kors at the Globes tonight? Hmm… that would be interesting. Anyway, I do like it when Angelina wears suits and looks like a professional. I think her business style – pencil skirts, cashmere, well-tailored suits – is much better than her red carpet style.

Any thoughts as to whether Angelina and/or Brad will actually win a Golden Globe tonight? If it’s between the two of them, I’m hoping Brad wins Best Actor. I will be sick to my stomach if Clooney walks away with it, anointed as the frontrunner in this Best Actor race. Meanwhile, I think Angelina should be proud of her Foreign Language nomination, but there are probably more worthy winners. The Hollywood Foreign Press loves Almodovar, right? Also – both Angelina and Brad are going to be presenting tonight, so they’re both guaranteed some time on the stage. Moneyball is up for Best Picture, Drama, and how cute would it be if Angelina introduced the clip?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

While I was sitting around last night, preparing for a Jolie-Pitt-Fassbender extravaganza at the Critics Choice Awards, Angelina was sizing up Fassy’s beast preparing for her LIVE video web chat in which regular people got to ask her questions. I haven’t watched but a few minutes of it, but it seems rather budget and cute. Angelina fielded questions about In the Land of Honey for the most part, and she talked about having a breakdown while directing:

Even Angelina Jolie has her doubts. During a live video web chat with Marie Claire Thursday, the 36-year-old revealed that she had a “complete meltdown” before production began on her directorial debut, In the Land of Blood and Honey.

“I had a complete emotional breakdown in the shower and Brad [Pitt] found me crying,” Jolie revealed. “I felt this huge responsibility and I felt very small. ‘Who am I to take this on?’”

The mother of six and UN Goodwill Ambassador admitted she’s still somewhat uncomfortable with her sudden career change. “I didn’t plan to become a director, and I still have trouble saying I’m a director,” Jolie explained.

“I just wanted to tell this story and I ended up by default being the director,” the Oscar winner said. “It was a pleasure, but I wonder if it would be a pleasure with another cast and crew, and a subject matter that wasn’t so special.”

When talking about the Bosnian War, she said: “I knew very little, like most Americans. I was 17 so I wasn’t very focused. I was my own form of self-destructive, and it was a bad time… I was a punk… you don’t imagine you could ever be a role model.”

The subject matter, which is close to her heart, has helped her to realize the importance of teaching her children certain values. When asked by a fan what lessons she wished to pass onto her children, the actress said ‘compassion and respect’. She said: “I want my children to be aware of the world around them and have respect for all people around the world. From the nature of the make-up of my family, they learn a lot about each other. They don’t see this divide which is dangerous.”

Jolie’s film, In the Land of Blood and Honey, is nominated for a Golden Globe. She and Pitt, 48, are scheduled to attend the ceremony together on Sunday.

[From The Mail & Us Weekly]

So… you know what this means for next week’s tabloid covers. BREAKDOWN: Brad finds Angelina distraught. Angie says: “I won’t leave the shower until you leave Aniston!!!” And of course: Brad Finds Angelina In TEARS. Aniston Drunk Again.

Here’s the part where it seems like Maddox has asked Angelina a question:

I think this is the full live stream:

PS… Seriously, why isn’t she boning Fassy?

Photos courtesy of Fame.

I was so looking forward to even more photos of Angelina Jolie at last night’s Critics Choice Awards, but Angelina decided to dash my dreams. Brad Pitt went solo to the awards show – he was nominated for Best Actor, but he lost to George Clooney. It would have been nice for Angelina to come out to support her lover, but she didn’t, so Brad had to sit at the sausage party table (the Moneyball table) all by his lonesome. He looked nice – I like white ties, and I don’t mind his hair length, but I wish he had shaved.

So why wasn’t Angelina there? Some conspiracies:

*Angelina just met Pres. Obama. She must have totally flown back to LA, only to pack her bags and announce to Brad that she leaving him to homewreck her way into the Obamas’ marriage.

*She was too busy doing that “live chat” thing.

*Empress Z demanded that her mother stay at home and watch Dirty Dancing yet again.

*Michael Fassbender (who also wasn’t at the Critics Choice) unleashed his beast for La Jolie and proceeded to wreck her sweetshop, thus making her forget about Pres. Obama and Brad Pitt. And everything else. Nine months from now, Angelina will give birth to a big-lipped ginger baby and all will be right with the world.

Sigh… I’m really hoping for the Fassbender option. WHERE WAS HE? I will only excuse his absence if he really was off somewhere, beasting the hell out of Angelina. But I guess I should settle for Brad right now. Sigh… I hope Brad wins ***something*** during this awards season. I’m going to be so disappointed if Clooney ends up with an endless stream of awards.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

As you may remember, in 2009, Us Weekly (and other tabloids) claimed that Angelina Jolie totally hated President Obama. The reasoning was vague, but the gist was that Angelina is more conservative than anyone realizes and she’s a chip off of the ol’ block (the ol’ block being her crazy father). I bring this up because yesterday, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were invited to the White House, and they accepted. They apparently met Pres. Obama in the Oval Office - you can see some long-distance photos here, shot through the Oval’s windows by photographers on the lawn. Angelina was wearing a black pencil skirt and a black turtleneck, and she looked pleased. Brad was wearing a suit and tie, and he looked hero-worship-y. Brad’s met Obama before – they discussed NOLA back in 2009. This is the first time Obama and Angelina have ever met, though. And apparently, it was a brief meeting – Obama was on his way to Chicago. Oh, here’s video! I like the guy saying, “Hey, that’s BRAD PITT!”

According to the Associated Press, Brangelina “dropped by” the White House (for real? I would think they were officially invited, right?) so that Angelina and Pres. Obama could discuss Angelina’s “work on preventing mass atrocities and combating sexual violence against women.” The night before, Angelina and Brad had done the red carpet for a screening of In the Land of Blood and Honesy at the Holocaust Museum (which, if you’ve never been to, you should really go – it’s a really comprehensive museum). While on the carpet, Angelina got a few questions about Obama and whether or not she hated him. When asked about the report that she hated the president, Angelina said, “Reported by who? By Us Weekly? You gotta read better papers!”

After Tuesday’s screening, People Magazine reports that Brangelina went out to dinner with some Washington power players, including Valerie Jarrett, one of Obama’s senior advisors. And Angelina even ate some solids! She had roast chicken, which sounds so good to me right now.

Following the Washington, D.C., premiere of her new film, In the Land of Blood and Honey, Angelina Jolie joined partner Brad Pitt for a celebratory dinner at Charlie Palmer Steak.

The couple – joined by 12 others, including President Obama’s senior advisor Valerie Jarrett – opted for Palmer’s $35.12 prix fixe Restaurant Week menu, and started with chopped salads of romaine, endive, goat cheese, bacon, cranberry and red wine vinegar. For entrées, Pitt chose the coulotte steak with sweet potato purée and braised greens, while Jolie savored the roasted chicken breast with buttered new potatoes and marjoram jus. Pitt, who was recently injured during a fall, indulged in the dark chocolate pavé with milk chocolate ice cream for dessert, while Jolie passed on the sweets.

According to an onlooker, the party of 14 stayed at the restaurant for two hours, and was “extremely pleasant and gracious to both fans and the staff.”

[From People]

I suspect that it was Valerie Jarrett who got Angelina and Brad in to meet the president, right? It was less of a “drop by” and more of an invitation. I don’t know why that’s bugging me so much – I just don’t think Angelina and Brad are so full of themselves that they think they can just “drop by” the White House unannounced. There has to security clearances and background checks and a White House staffer has to formally escort you wherever you go. Anyway, I’m sure this was only the first meeting in a long line of negotiations in which Pres. Obama will gradually hand over power to Empress Zahara.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.

In my mind, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had two great public appearances in a row, so they were due a bad showing. While I thought Angelina looked vaguely knocked up in her beige sack in Palm Springs, I also thought her hair, makeup and skin looked amazing. And then she upped her game for the New York Film Critics Circle Awards two nights ago, wearing a great combination of gauzy white and black leather, with her hair and makeup once again looking great. But last night, I feel like Brangelina faltered a bit. Brad and Angie did an appearance at a screening of In the Land of Blood and Honey in Washington, D.C.

Maybe they’re jet-lagged. Maybe they were up all night, boning in our nation’s capital. Maybe it’s just bad lighting. But they both look kind of rough to me. I’m even throwing shade on Angelina’s Michael Kors coat! Usually, Angelina brings the coat pr0n. I think it’s the length and seeming “stiffness” of the coat that’s throwing me off.

Also – I’ve noticed that a lot of you have been commenting on Brad’s recent squintiness. Considering he’s started wearing glasses in public more often, I’m assuming that his eyes are getting weaker as he ages. And as someone who has worn glasses and contacts for much of her life, let me tell you – when your eyes get used to being supported by glasses or contacts, and you go out without that support, you squint. Part of it is that you’re trying to see. Part of it is that you’re more sensitive to light. Or, you know, he could think that squinting makes him look cool. But I think it’s just that his vision is compromised and he’s still adjusting.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

It’s always a special occasion for me when I see new photos of Angelina Jolie, seen here with Brad Pitt at last night‘s New York Film Critics Circle Awards. But I feel like it’s my birthday and Christmas rolled into one when Angelina rocks some old-school leather. Angelina and leather go together like Michael Fassbender and sweetshops, like chocolate and peanut butter, like chocolate and Fassbender. They are perfectly matched, is what I’m saying. Old-school Angelina used to wear biker gear and too-pale makeup and a druggy demeanor. These days, the druggy demeanor is gone, her makeup has improved, and the leather has gone from “biker girl” to “high-fashion”. I like this ensemble so much – it’s Ferragamo! She looks gorgeous. I love being able to see her waist, and she has the figure for pencil skirts. Love the pop of color with the emerald necklace too. DOWN WITH SACKS!!!

Anyway, as I said, Brad and Angelina were at the NYFCC Awards. Brad took home Best Actor for Moneyball and Tree of Life. Congrats to him – I do think he’ll end up with an Oscar nomination this year. But will he end up taking home the award? His competition will likely be George Clooney, Jean Dujardin, Leonardo DiCaprio, Gary Oldman and Michael Fassbender? Who would you pick?

Meanwhile, some new interviews with Angelina are still coming out – these are from Palm Springs, where she and Brad did press over the weekend.

Angelina Jolie is as well known for her work helping refugees around the world as she is for making movies. But she’ll let her kids decide for themselves whether they want to follow in her activist footsteps.

“I’m not one of those moms who kind of lectures [my kids],” Jolie, 36, told reporters on Saturday at the 23rd Annual Palm Springs Film Festival. “But I do tell them, whenever I go on a trip, where I’m going and why. And on some occasions, they’ve come with me to different refugee camps. And they also go to their home countries a lot.”

The actress, who wore an Elie Saab gown to the festival’s awards gala, has faith her little ones will make decisions based on what they see in their day-to-day lives.

“Hopefully they live in the world, and they see the world really as it is, outside of Hollywood,” she says. “If they really live in the world and spend time with friends around the world from all different types of backgrounds, they [will] just see things as they are.”

Even though Jolie doesn’t expect her children to take up the same causes, she does look for opportunities – such as daughter Zahara’s birthday on Sunday – to remind them about who they are and where they come from.

“We make sure we’re very aware of her culture and her heritage,” Jolie says of Zahara, who turned 7 on Sunday. “She’s an African-American girl, so we make that a part of anything she does. So that’ll be a part of her [birthday].”

[From People]

Us Weekly reports that Angelina spend Sunday morning shopping for little girl’s clothes in Sherman Oaks too – a source says Jolie “bought really cute girly stuff in bright colors… Little peasant tops, sweaters and tights… she picked out a bunch of stuff and left very quickly. Once people noticed her, everyone was staring and running to see her, so she left with a bodyguard. She had several bags of birthday gifts for her daughter.” Aw… I love Z’s style. It sounds like her mom knows what to buy the Empress too – Z will like her peasant tops and girly stuff. Meanwhile, Shiloh still dresses like an extra from The Sopranos. And Brad and Angelina accept it!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’m trying to use different photos of Brangelina in Palm Springs – different from the ones I used in yesterday’s Brangelina post. I still think Angelina looks a tad knocked up, but I could just be misreading her love of sack gowns. Anyway, as we’ve already documented extensively, Brad Pitt is walking with a cane now. While he was in Palm Springs, he talked to various media outlets and basically said that he took a tumble and messed up his knee because he was trying to avoid dropping Vivienne, but the circumstances seem to be changing. Angelina backs up his story, sort of. But I feel a conspiracy coming on….

It’s all Viv’s fault! Brad Pitt was rocking a cane at the Palm Springs Film Film Festival gala on Saturday night — and he finally explained the injury (first revealed late last week) on the red carpet to Us Weekly.

“I was carrying my daughter [Vivienne Jolie-Pitt, 3] down the hill and I slipped and it was either her or me,” Pitt, 48, told Us. “It’s my ACL,” he added of the knee injury, but added that no surgery is planned. “I think I will be alright!”

At his side at the event, love Angelina Jolie was quick to tell reporters that he’s not asking for extra help around the house because of the injury.

“He is not that kind of guy,” the In the Land of Blood and Honey director, 36, said. “He does everything! I like the cane!”

And little Vivienne (twin sister to Knox) is no worse for the wear either. “Vivi’s okay. She was absolutely fine. He took the fall.”

Jolie similarly hurt herself years ago with her eldest, Maddox, 10. “It happened when Mad was younger. I took a fall as well and cracked my elbow because I wanted to make sure he wasn’t injured,” Jolie said. “Every parent has injured themselves.”

Among their six kids, the child of the weekend was Zahara, who turned 7 on Sunday. “We are focusing on birthday parties tomorrow for Zahara,” Jolie added.

[From Us Weekly]

They call her “Vivi”? Like, Vee-Vee or Viv-E? I prefer Viv-E. It’s cuter. As for the ever-changing story on Brad‘s knee, Angelina explained it again to Fox News: “We are building different parts of the lawn, and he was going down to see it, and the grass was changing levels, and he slipped. In order to make sure [Vivienne] was okay he threw himself down to protect her. He did the dad thing.” What about the skiing story? HM? I’m telling you… CONSPIRACY. Did they ever really go skiing? Did Brad really fall while he was holding Viv? Which home were they in? Where is this mysterious yard? Or did Angelina bust a cap in Brad’s knee when he misbehaved? Or did Brad bust his knee while he was praying for Jennifer Aniston to come back to him? See? Conspiracies.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Yesterday was a huge day in Palm Springs! The Palm Springs International Film Festival handed out awards to several of the big players in this year’s awards season. Palm Springs is the biggest event for the Hollywood crowd right before the one-two punch of the Critics Choice and Golden Globes awards shows, and yes, I know I’m leaving out the People’s Choice. Hardly anyone goes to the People’s Choice Awards these days! Anyway, Brad Pitt was honored with an award for Moneyball and Tree of Life, and of course, Angelina Jolie got all dolled up in a sack dress for the occasion.

Angelina’s sack dress isn’t really a sack dress though. It’s a sack jumpsuit! Elie Saab makes sack jumpsuits now! And I know I’m just stirring the pot here and that I’m letting the tabloid reports about Angelina’s womb influence by opinion, but seriously, Angelina looks kind of knocked up to me. It’s the way the “sack” part of the jumpsuit is falling in her mid-section. It’s also that her boobs look big and she looks really happy – a sure sign that she’s knocked up? Just putting that out there. Also: she looks really pretty here, sack or no sack. Her skin looks gorge, and I really like what she’s done with her hair. She got a cut, and she added some highlights in front.

Brad’s other accessory (besides the beautiful woman on his arm) was his cane. We saw him with the cane last week, coming out a skin-care spa, wearing a black onesie. While Brad was on the red carpet, he talked about why he was sporting the cane. Hint: It wasn’t because Angelina kneecapped him! Brad claims that he “wiped out on a ski slope while carrying one of his twins. He twisted his knee and suffered some ACL damage in the process,” according to Entertainment Tonight. Wait, what? He was skiing while carrying a kid? I still prefer the “Angelina kneecapped him” story.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

At some point over the holidays, this weird story about Jennifer Aniston came out. It was totally random, though. Maureen Dowd was eulogizing Sue Mengers, a legendary agent and “advisor” to various Hollywood stars, and Dowd mentioned a story about how Mengers advised her dear friend Jennifer Aniston to ask Brad Pitt for his sperm – in 2005, post-divorce. I mentioned that I thought it made Aniston look bad, and a lot of the Pity Party Patrol yelled at me for saying that, but look – Sue Mengers was Aniston’s friend and advisor. Mengers was quoted in high-profile articles ABOUT Aniston. They had a relationship. And this is the kind of person Aniston has a friend, and this is the kind of advise her “friends” give her. I don’t think it makes her look great.

Anyway, Star Magazine’s cover story takes that little Sue Mengers anecdote and turns it into the most random story. Allegedly, Jennifer actually did get pregnant… with the hijacked sperm? And when Angelina found out about it, she “walked out” on Brad. Or something.

A fuming Angelina Jolie stormed out after a huge blowup with Brad Pitt when she learned the bombshell news that he had tried to have a baby with another woman — his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston! According to Star, the drama unfolded after a report from the New York Times Magazine revealed that Jen’s close friend, Sue Mengers, advised the actress to request a sample of his sperm for future use after their big breakup!

A shocked and angry Angelina accused Brad of scheming with Jen behind her back, but he adamantly denied the claim. He apologized, but a seething Angelina demanded to know everything, an insider told Star. That’s when the truth came out: Brad and Jen tried to have a baby, but she miscarried.

“He had never told Angie this before,” the insider revealed and added that the 36-year-old felt “betrayed.”

“She had assumed all along that she was the only woman Brad had ever impregnated. Now Angie is questioning everything, including whether she can ever trust Brad again.”

Betrayed and shaken, she walked out and left Brad with their six young children — Maddox, 10, Pax, 8, Zahara, 6, Shiloh, 5 and twins Knox and Vivienne, 3. “Angie started driving to the airport but stopped because she couldn’t bring herself to leave the kids,” the insider said. “She didn’t want to abandon them.”

Although Angelina was surprised by the news, a report in July 2004 revealed that the couple had endured a heartbreaking miscarriage. “It’s a very sore spot for Brad and Jen,” a different source explained. “Neither has talked about it with another person, until now.”

Brad and Jen broke things off in 2005, but their marriage is still a sore spot for Angelina.

“Brad doesn’t tell Angie everything, especially when it comes to Jen,” the source explained. “The mention of Jen makes Angie completely irrational. But he never imagined this would infuriate Angie to the extent that it has. Now it could spell the end of them forever.”

[From Hollywood Life]

So, if I’m following the thread of this story correctly, the claim is that Angelina was already primed for a fight when she confronted Brad about how he might have given Aniston some of his magic juice, and that’s when Brad “confessed” that Aniston was actually pregnant in 2004…? Whatever. I don’t know why I’m trying so hard to make sense out of this.

In other ZOMG BERMUDA TRIANGLE news, OK! Magazine (Via Jezebel & HL) claims that Angelina is planning to get pregnant again – just to get at Jennifer Aniston. Because Angelina just plots away, every day, endlessly. An insider says: “Don’t get me wrong, Angelina’s having a child because she wants one, but part of her can’t wait to steal Jen’s thunder. She knows a Brangelina baby would be the best revenge of all. It’s just an added bonus. Brad and Angelina have been talking about having one more biological child for well over a year, but Angelina’s always resisted due to work commitments. Now that she’s getting a bit older, the pressure’s on.” Apparently The Great Baby War is one of the few things Angelina knows she can win – because she’s rife with jealousy because “a magazine recently voted Jen the hottest woman of all time — while she came in at number 10.” Apparently, the evil plot is working because a source says Aniston is already “sick” of getting calls about Brad and Angelina’s seventh baby. Whatevs, y’all.

Photos courtesy of WENN.