Angelina Jolie’s second husband, actor Billy Bob Thornton, 52, joked during a promotional appearance at a Barnes and Noble to promote the second CD by his band, The Boxmasters, that the pregnant A-list actress will come back to him any day now. He was likely asked about her, and came up with this delusional response:

Thornton said, “She’s just going through a high school phase. You know dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She’ll be waking up from that dream in no time. Who knows if I’ll be there when she’s ready to come to her senses though.” Thornton added that they all come back, but he’s not a fan of repeats.

[From Defamer]

Of course Billy Bob was joking. He was said to have walked out on Angelina shortly after she adopted then-baby Maddox from Cambodia. There were rumors that he tried to reconcile with her afterwards but that she wasn’t having it and wouldn’t take his calls.

Angelina was Billy Bob’s fifth and most recent wife. She had nothing but good things to say about him in a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly. She said “I still love him dearly and think the world of him and I’m proud to have been his wife for a time. I don’t believe in regrets. It’s a dangerous habit to get into — it makes you pause in your life if you start thinking back and questioning yourself.” There’s little chance of a reconciliation, and the guy probably feels regret having to see her at the checkout counter nearly every week since they split up in 2003. Thornton has a nearly three year old daughter, Bella, with his girlfriend Connie Angland and three older children from his first and fourth wives.

Billy Bob Thornton is shown singing with The Boxmasters at SXSW on 3/13/08, thanks to Splash News.

Here’s Billy Bob and the Boxmasters singing “Original Messed Up Kid.” They’re not bad.

Out and proud actor Leslie Jordan, 53, has a new memoir coming out that’s supposed to be full of tales of his debauchery including plenty of sex and drugs. The Emmy-winning actor known for being the bitchy nemesis of Karen on Will and Grace writes that he’s had crushes on his co-stars. Billy Bob Thornton was especially appealing to him after he heard from John Ritter that the guy was hung like a rope. Considering the late great comic John Ritter gave him this information, you have to think that he was putting him on:

“Dean Cain was stunning, and the sight of him strutting about in his Superman outfit was truly magnificent,” Jordan gushes, recalling his cameo on “Lois and Clark.” “I showed up on the set determined not to ‘­peter-gaze,’ or at least not to get caught at it.”

He became obsessed with Billy Bob Thornton while filming “Hearts Afire” after co-star John Ritter hinted to him about the size of Thornton’s manhood.

Ritter explained that he’d gone surfing with Thornton and later hit the showers. Ritter told Jordan the sight of Thornton’s “rope” would cause him to “fall in love.”

Jordan laments that he never got the chance: “There are probably a lot of things I’ll go a lifetime without seeing - the Mona Lisa, the Taj Mahal, the pyramids. And I’ll probably never see Billy Bob’s wiener, either.”

[From The NY Daily News

Jordan’s memoir is called “My Trip Down the Pink Carpet,” and is available for pre-release through Amazon.

I read an interview with Jordan from 2006 on AfterElton.com, when he was promoting a series of autobiographical plays he was doing with Delta Burke. He said that it saddens him to see young men addicted to drugs and you can tell that he’s been through a lot and is wiser for it. His biography is sure to be interesting if this is how he talks:

“I’m sitting here, 51 years of age,” he says. “I survived growing up in the ’50s. I survived the ’60s where I was a hippie smoking dope. I survived the ’70s where I was staggering around in Elton John platform shoes, swallowing quaaludes and going to Studio 54. I survived the ’80s where I made a whole lot of money and did a whole lot of cocaine. Then crystal meth came on the scene — that was me in the ’90s.”

He continues: “And now I’m sober. I buried an entire phone directory of friends to AIDS. And yet I survived. I feel I have to give back. I’m still at the AIDS walks and the marches.”

“You know what really saddens me?” he asks. “In the early ’80s you’d be walking down the street and you’d see someone you hadn’t seen in a while, and they were gaunt and really white. It was just heartbreaking. You thought, ‘Oh my God — it has got them.’ And now in this day and age, it’s almost the same thing. You see someone walking down the street and they are gaunt. Crystal’s got ‘em. It’s a huge problem in our community. It really messes with you.

“I see these young, beautiful gay men jerking and twitching and thinking they look so fabulous, yet their eyes are completely dead. I do a lot of work with recovery programs and houses. It’s sad so many young men are getting wrapped up in it.”

He adds: “But one thing I’ll say about gay people: We take care of our own. We learned that in the AIDS crisis. And we’ll take care of this.”

[From AfterElton.com]

Jordan also said he was glad to get work as an openly gay actor and didn’t worry about being typecast and just accepted the paychecks.

Do you think Billy Bob Thornton is hugely endowed though, or was John Ritter just messing with Jordan? He seems like the type to make something like that up. Has Thornton been nude for any roles so that we can see for ourselves? Frantic googling didn’t produce any results.

Billy Bob Thornton is shown outside the Late Show on 9/13/07 and at The Astronaut Farmer premiere on 2/20/07. Those jeans are too loose and I’ve looked through plenty of photos and he just doesn’t wear tight jeans. Maybe that’s for comfort purposes. Leslie Jordan is shown at the GLAAD media awards on 4/26/08. Thanks to WENN and PRPhotos.

Billy Bob Thornton’s 14-year-old son Willie has been dating – and involved in a sexual relationship – with a 22-year-old woman, according to TMZ. The website reports that the woman’s ex-boyfriend got jealous of their relationship and reported it to the Los Angeles Police Department. Regardless of the motivation, that was definitely the right thing for the guy to do.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Billy Bob Thornton’s son is at the center of a criminal investigation — the alleged victim of “unlawful sex.”

Here’s what we know. Willie Thornton, age 14, was dating a 22-year-old woman. Her ex-boyfriend apparently became jealous. Sources say the ex called the LAPD, informing them his former GF was having sex with a minor.

Law enforcement sources tell us there is an “active investigation” into the crime of “unlawful sex” — translated, an adult having sex with someone under 18. We’re told Willie is cooperating with the sex crimes unit. And, we’re told, cops have also interviewed Billy Bob.

[From TMZ]

This is definitely pedophilia, at least according to the ever-prestigious Dateline definition. The woman is 8 years Thornton’s senior. Whenever an older woman seduces a younger boy (think of all those teachers you see on television for sleeping with students in the last few years) a lot of people joke about how lucky that guy is. But let’s be honest – a 14-year-old boy is not capable of making smart decisions about relationships or sex. Something like this could have a lasting, negative psychological impact on Thornton. It seems like police are taking this case seriously – and hopefully will pursue charges.

Photos of Billy Bob Thornton with girlfriend Connie Angland at the Astronaut Farmer Los Angeles premiere on February 20th, 2007. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Shia LaBeouf may make us average girls swoon with his mildly rebellious ways, but drunken drug store standoffs and a wanton disregard for smoking laws are not enough to impress hardened NY City women. Page Six claims that the baby-faced Transformers star failed to pick up any women at an exclusive hipster spot in the West Village. He was clearly out of his league and was said to have made a pitiful site:

SHIA LaBeouf may be a full-fledged movie star, but it’s not enough to impress the picky types who hold court at hotspot Beatrice Inn. One recent night, spies say LaBeouf was “desperately seeking a lady . . . but none of the hipster hotties were standing for it.” Our onlooker snickered that he finally turned to one woman and whined a line that will send any guy home solo: “How do I get a girl to go home with me?”

[From Page Six]

Poor Shia needs to turn it up a notch and act like the unapproachable movie star all his 14 year-old fans think he is. Maybe once the new Raiders of the Lost Ark movie comes out he’ll be more recognized and won’t have such a hard time picking up chicks. He needs some guy advice though, and it’s not like Harrison Ford is going to teach him how to score. He’s starring in a thriller called Eagle Eye with Billy Bob Thornton, which is out this fall. You know that Thornton could teach him a thing or two about how to work the celebrity angle. He had Angelina Jolie eating out of his grubby hands, and he’s not particularly attractive. Billy Bob’s most convincing role was as a touched guy, with a drunken mall santa coming in a close second. You don’t need looks to land the ladies if you’re rich and famous I reckon, mmm hmmm.

Another random woman has come forward claiming Angelina Jolie seduced her, and has intimated that they slept together. Misty Cooper, who was an assistant to a producer on the set of “Gone in 60 Seconds” in 1999, claims that she wanted Angelina from the moment she saw her, and Angelina wanted Misty too. Cooper’s description is straight out of a cheesy supermarket paperback – she barely manages to hold herself back from bodice ripping and lustily caressing body parts. The whole account sounds trite and likely untrue, but is semi-interesting if for nothing else than its sheer ridiculousness.

“We Immediately felt the sexual chemistry, and I could feel that she was also giving off a vibe. She looked super-hot, and I really wanted her.” Misty said. Misty was well aware of Angelina’s sexual history. She knew that Angie had fallen for lesbian model Jenny Shimizu while they were working together on the set of ‘Foxfire,’ (1996) so she knew she had chance!

One week after their first encounter, they ended up talking at craft services and Misty realized that “Angie wanted to sleep with me as much as I was so desperate to get her into bed,” adding; “You could cut the sexual tension with knife.”

[From Flynet]

The article goes on to say that Misty wasn’t sure if she should pursue Angelina, since she’d just started dating Billy Bob Thorton, who was engaged to Laura Dern at the time. Apparently their “lusty flirting” continued on the set, and Angelina rubbed her body against Misty’s butt. Misty, for some reason, was afraid to reciprocate, despite the aforementioned sexual knife cutting. Angelina supposedly called Misty a tease, with Misty leveling the salacious charge right back at her. Misty was warned to stay away from Angelina by others on the set, who told her Angie was nothing but trouble. But of course, Misty just couldn’t resist.

Then finally on day on set after weeks of flirting and giving strong sexual vibes, they made their move… To Jolie’s trailer!

While Angelina was talking about her sex life, she told Misty that she had many girls but none of them were as good as Billy Bob Thornton. Misty responded with, “But you haven’t had me.” Shortly after an assistant was taking polaroid pictures of the cast and crew on set, and snapped a couple of Angelina and Misty. As you can see in the photos, there was some playful groping involved.

After that, Angelina dropped the bomb; “I want you to come to my trailer, get naked, and we’ll have more fun and more photos.” And although Misty hasn’t revealed what happened once they were inside the trailer, she did say this, “Angie has very soft lips.”

[From Flynet]

Oh barf. Not at the lesbian thing, but just at the bullshit. If this lady is telling the truth, then she sure has an awkward, corny way of speaking. Misty and Angelina never saw each other again, but Misty has no problem echoing the sentiments of Angelina’s acknowledged hookup, model Jenny Shimizu – that Angelina loves the ladies and Brad doesn’t stand a chance, longterm.

When asked about Angie’s new love, Misty responded by saying “She (Angelina) can sleep with anyone she pleases, male or female, and she’s quite the seductress, so what chance does Brad have? Although he’s beautiful looking, there is no way he can keep her down. Angie has an incredible body - Brad should enjoy it while he still can.”

Recently the mother of four and humanitarian, Angelina Jolie, spoke openly about her sexuality, saying “I’ve never hidden my bisexuality, but there’s no longer a place for that in my life.”

Misty disagrees with that. “She (Angelina) told me that only one man had really satisfied her, Billy Bob. Even if Brad is a fabulous lover, Angie still must be wondering what she’s missing,” adding; “It’s only a matter of time before Brad finds him cheating on him with another woman.”

[From Flynet]

Let’s point out that when Angie supposedly said that, she had yet to meet Brad Pitt. Maybe she says the same thing now about Brad. Or maybe it’s all old, recycled bull. One of the commenters on Flynet’s article says that she was a P.A. on the film, and that the whole thing is crap. She says Angie was totally messed up on drugs at that time, to the point that production on the film had to be stopped on several occasions. She also says that Jenny Shimizu visited Angelina several times on the set, and that Shimizu wasn’t just Angie’s girlfriend but also her dealer. Shimizu has also vocally claimed that Angie will always come back to her. Angie has been very upfront about her past, and it doesn’t seem like she’s ever denied something just because it could be considered unsavory. She’s owned up to a lot of things. She has a very different persona now, but I think it’s awesome that she doesn’t try to act like she’s always been that way. Even if there is an ounce of truth to Misty Cooper’s story, it was nine years ago. It has no bearing on Angelina today.

Note by Celebitchy: We used photos of Angelina and Billy Bob because we don’t have the rights to those ones of her messing around with that woman on set. Those are at Flynet if you want to see them. I’m sorry for subjecting you to the kissing one below, but I could not pass it up.

I didn’t want to cover this, because it’s going to open up a shitstorm of comments like any story about Angelina. JayBird did a great job of explaining how fake this all sounds so please be civil about it. If nothing else, it’s a titillating story.