This story upsets me. You know how little I think of Chelsea Handler, and how little I think of people who associate with Chelsea. She’s a drunken vortex of Anti-Talent. In the past few years, Chelsea has gotten her vodka-soaked hooks in Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon – Chelsea and Reese actually worked together in This Means War, with Chelsea’s presence pretty much ruining the trailer (and I would imagine the film as well). So with Reese now infected with L’Handler, and Aniston fully committed to her new BFF/drinking buddy (where is Courteney Cox, by the way?), it seems like Chelsea is still looking to pull more A-listers to The Drunk Side. Her latest victim? Charlize Theron. Nooooooo.

Chelsea Handler is quickly becoming every It Girl’s new BFF. The 36-year-old Chelsea Lately host joined Jennifer Aniston, 42, and Justin Theroux, 40, for dinner at the Sunset Tower Hotel in West Hollywood Thursday, Us Weekly can exclusively confirm.

Shortly after Handler’s arrival, Oscar winner Charlize Theron joined the three stars at their table. “Jen was absolutely cracking up at Chelsea telling a story,” an eyewitness tells Us. “She was clapping her hands and laughing loud enough for the whole restaurant to notice.”

Once Aniston and Theroux took off, Theron, 36, and Handler decided to polish off a few more drinks. “They stayed for about another hour,” according to the eyewitness.

Theron and Handler hit it off so well that the E! comedienne invited the Young Adult star over to her $6 million house in the Holmby Hills area of Bel Air, Calif. for a Super Bowl party on Sunday.

“Charlize and a girlfriend stopped by Gil Turner’s liquor store on the way to the party. They got a big box of Dogfish Head Ale, glasses and two bottles of Belvedere Vodka,” an eyewitness says. “Charlize had so much alcohol to carry, she could barely make it up the driveway!”

Other guests at Handler’s bash included Jenny McCarthy and Chelsea Lately staff members Josh Wolf, Sarah Colonna and Chuy Bravo.

“We started drinking at 3:00 and then it just kept going. By 11:00 I couldn’t even see straight!” Handler recalled on Chelsea Lately Monday. “There was so much food at my house because my brother Roy thinks he’s a chef, and on top of that, people brought food.”

“I never eat when I have people over because I like to entertain and I like to say hello to everyone,” Handler added. “When everyone left I was like, ‘Get out those chicken wings! Get out all the leftovers now!’ Roy was like, ‘Calm down, you lunatic.’”

[From Us Weekly]

It sounds like this story is coming directly from Camp Handler – the reference to “Belvedere Vodka” is especially suspicious coming from an unnamed source. Isn’t Chelsea’s life pretty much sponsored by Belvedere Vodka? And Charlize just happened to pick up the same brand of vodka that Chelsea gets paid to endorse? Right. I believe that Charlize and Chelsea hung out, and I believe that Charlize is a good-time girl who likes to party. But I’d like to believe that Charlize is smart enough to realize that hanging out with Chelsea isn’t helping her rep, you know?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Michelle Williams and Charlize Theron had more in common than gratuitous HEADBANDS last night – they were nominated in the same category at the Globes, Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical. While Charlize’s role in Young Adult is supposed to be a straight-on comedy, Michelle’s inclusion in that category is up for debate. I’ve seen My Week With Marilyn – it’s a drama. She sings in it, but it’s totally a drama. Anyway, Michelle won the Globe, and while her acceptance speech wasn’t my cup of tea – I would love it if she stopped with the “Little Girl Lost” routine – I’m not going to yell about it. She was good in Marilyn, and I don’t mind her win. I will hate it if she wins the Oscar though.

Anyway, Michelle’s dress is Jason Wu. Again, not my cup of tea, but I don’t hate it. At least it’s a beautiful color! I get so tired of her wearing pale pastels and creams. I don’t really think the velvet gives the gown the “richness” Jason Wu was aiming for – it ends up looking dated, right? Like something from the 1970s, only back then, this fabric would be used for curtains. As for the headband… I don’t get it. At all. It’s just a black headband with some kind of bedazzled appliqués or something. It doesn’t belong at the Globes. It doesn’t look cute or stylish or anything. It’s just budget.

Now, for Charlize. Bitch wore Dior, or course, and of course, there was a huge statement bow, thankfully not on her boobs. I liked the dress a lot in motion, but in photos, it totally looks “off”. Like, the slit seems too high and the shoes are wrong. Charlize can pull off some weird stuff, but at the end of the day, I’m not sure she really owned this look. And shall we talk about her headband? AWFUL – but it had more continuity with her dress than whatever Michelle was attempting. Why is this a trend?!?!? Also: Charlize’s face was back to looking jacked, right?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

As promised, here’s Charlize Theron’s W Magazine cover – she and Brad Pitt have alternate covers for the February “Movie Issue”. If I’m choosing between which cover I like more – my pick is Brad’s. At least Brad’s is an interesting image, stylistically, which we haven’t seen from him in a while. Charlize is always like this – hyper-styled, overly made up, in a gown, looking haughty. It’s boring.

Charlize is in an interesting place right now, I think. She took some time off, she got out of a long-term relationship with Stuart Townsend, she maybe got some stuff tweaked on her face (more on that in a minute), and it seems like she really, really wants to be included in the Best Actress nominations this year for Young Adult. As such, Charlize is trying to be a bit more relatable, and little less haughty. Thus, this charming W Magazine interview:

Lynn Hirschberg: In Young Adult, you play Mavis Gary, who is stunning on the outside and a mess on the inside. Returning to the small town in Minnesota where she reigned as the beauty/bitch of her high school, Mavis sets out to reclaim her ex-boyfriend, now married. She is self-involved, delusional, and generally hard to like, which is rare for a female protagonist in a comedy. Do you have to like a character to play her?
Charlize Theron: I liked Mavis, but no, I don’t think I need to like my characters. I do think empathy is very important. It’s crucial to understand circumstance and story to grasp the role in a truthful manner. Your characters are like your children: Sometimes they make you proud, and other times, you think, Oh, really?! In Young Adult, I wanted to show some cringe-worthy moments that only women will get.

Like the “cutlets.” Mavis wears flesh-­colored glue-on gel-filled “breasts” over her real ones.
I wear those! If you don’t have boobs, you wear those cutlets. I heard a story of a girl who was on a date, started making out, and thought, Oh, he’s going to touch the cutlets! So she went to the bathroom to take them off, but her purse was too small to put them in there. I always thought that was a funny image, a woman not knowing what to do with these things that you stick onto your boobs. It’s just the most bizarre, unsexy thing there is—so I added that to Mavis.

Growing up in South Africa, were you always tall and blonde and beautiful?
For the first eight years of my life, I didn’t have front teeth. I was pretty sick as an infant, and antibiotics rotted them. But then I started to take dance classes, and I eventually got some teeth [laughs]. When I was 16, I went to Milan to model.

Did you dream of being an actress?
I wanted to be a ballerina, but I was too tall, and I had too many injuries. What I loved as a ballerina was telling stories, and I could also do that with acting, so I eventually moved to L.A.

You had a star-is-born moment as a result of your first role. For 2 Days in the Valley, you were on a billboard over Sunset Boulevard for a very long time. What was the audition for that movie like?
I remember I was in a catsuit. I’d never auditioned before, and I almost brought a bottle of ketchup and squirted it all over myself for the scene where I got shot. I looked like a maniac. It was a dying scene, so I barged through the door and started crawling on the floor. I think they were too scared not to give me the role.

[From W Magazine]

For a week, I’d like to know what it was like to be in need of cutlets. I’ve been stacked like a brick sh-thouse since sixth grade. I just imagine that it would be really fun to try on all kinds of different blouses and tops when you have small boobs. The world is run by the small-breasted, and I’ve always been curious about those cutlets.

Anyway, Charlize was all over the place this weekend, likely campaigning for a Golden Globe (and Oscar nomination), and probably partying her ass off too. I’m including photos of Charlize at the W Magazine event Friday night (she’s wearing black Alexander McQueen) and the BAFTA LA event last night (in yellow Stella McCartney). She looks really pretty and soft in the McQueen – she usually doesn’t wear her hair down on red carpets, and it’s a nice length now. The Stella dress is fug, though. I don’t get the waist ruffle. As for Charlize’s alleged tweaking – in some angles, I really see it around her mouth, but straight-on, she looks fine.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

If you’re going to wear Azzedine Alaïa Haute Couture, you better have a body like Charlize Theron, because she’s one of the few people that could pull off this dress (from the fall collection). I actually think Charlize might be slightly overdressed for a more low-key event like the Critics Choice – traditionally, the dress code is business-cocktail, but in the past few years, more celebrities are treating it like a larger awards show, and they do the black-tie tuxedos and full-length gowns. I’m just saying – this dress would have been lovely for Charlize for the Golden Globes, where she’s also nominated for Best Actress for Young Adult. The fact that she didn’t save it for the Globes makes me think that she’s going to wear some huge, statement dress with a giant train and at least one gigantic bow.

That being said, I do think she looks beautiful. I like Charlize in black, and this dress is interesting enough to stand out. On Charlize, the tiered, ruffled skirt looks elegant. On another woman, it would look like a puffy, fug dust ruffle. The scalloped detail on the bodice of the gown is interesting too, and once again, Charlize is one of the few who can make it work.

As for Charlize’s hair and makeup – love the intricate, braided hairstyle. Very pretty. Her makeup is kind of meh, right? And I swear, I still think she looks slightly jacked in some photos.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame.

Here are some photos of Charlize Theron at the Palm Springs International Film Festival on Saturday. Young Adult picked up an Ensemble Award, and Charlize and Patton Oswalt were on hand to pick up their trophies. Charlize’s dress is Lanvin (Spring 2012 dress), and that’s not a full slit down to the bottom of the dress – it’s a cut-out! Isn’t that weird? It’s a strange design detail, I think. And only a woman with Charlize’s figure could really pull it off.

But really, we need to talk about this:

And this:

Apparently, there have been rumors about Charlize Theron’s alleged plastic surgery for a while. I’ve never really thought her face looked “off” until the past few months, though. Here’s what I think happened: Charlize took a few years off, hung out, recovered from her breakup with Stuart Townsend, and then she filmed Young Adult. When it came time to begin promoting the film, Charlize went in for some “minor” cosmetic work, like some lip injections, maybe some Botox or just a slight amount of fillers. The work made her appear slightly puffy on some red carpets, and it gave the lower half of her face a weird stiffness. I don’t think this is the product of surgery, and I hope that Charlize stops doing whatever she’s doing. Her whole upper lip looks completely “off” to me. And she looks high as a kite, on top of all of that.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are some new photos of Charlize Theron at the LA premiere of Young Adult last night. Her dress is Stella McCartney, and while I don’t really care for it, I think this red carpet appearance is way better than the NY premiere. At the end of the day, I really disliked the choice of an orange, leather sheath for a winter premiere in NYC. But this little Stella cocktail dress is kind of cute, and Charlize’s face has improved too. I mentioned the other day that Charlize’s lower face was looking kind of strange to me, especially around her mouth. Whatever was happening, it looks better in these photos. Less puffy.

Charlize was recently discussing how weird it is for adult women to be into Hello Kitty. Ruh roh. Mariah Carey is going to throw down.

Charlize Theron can’t relate to her peers. During The New York Times’ TimesTalk panel in NYC Friday, the 36-year-old actress said she prepared for her role in Young Adult by exploring the oddities of women her age.

“I’m pretty amazed by Hello Kitty. I see so many women in their 30s walking around in Hello Kitty sh-t and nobody is concerned for them,” Theron said. “It’s the one iconic teenage symbol that seems okay for women in their 30s? The world seems to not have an issue with it.”

Realizing such women were quite similar to her character, Theron “said to the costume director, ‘Get me some Hello Kitty T-shirts.’ Those were my demands.”

All kidding aside, Theron believes “women are just as messed up” as men, which is what made her role in Young Adult so fun.

“I’m really glad I got to play this character and that it’s being appreciated,” said Theron, who “grew up on ’70s films with Gene Hackman, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman.”

“It’s such a luxury to be able to do a film that you want to do,” the Oscar winner added.

[From Us Weekly]

LMAO at “I see so many women in their 30s walking around in Hello Kitty sh-t and nobody is concerned for them.” I love Charlize’s casual bitchiness. If she continued with, “…So I just go around, smacking the s–t out of every bitch in a Hello Kitty shirt,” I wouldn’t be surprised at all.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are photos of Charlize Theron last night at The Late Show With David Letterman (the black and white dress) and at the premiere of Young Adult in NYC (the orange dress). The premiere dress is Christian Dior. Thoughts? I like it, and God knows that Charlize is one of those rare bitches who can really work a shade of orange and somehow manage to NOT look like a traffic cone. That being said… there’s something off, I think. The fit in the waist and bust seems weird, and it just feels like the wrong dress to wear to a December premiere. Charlize is one of the faces of Dior, though, and I think she might be contractually required to wear Dior on certain red carpets. Hopefully, this was her third or fourth choice, and she’s got better Dior dresses for future events.

I am a bigger fan of the black and white Antonio Berardi dress – this would have made a killer premiere dress, I think. Much like Jessica Biel yesterday, I wish the “television appearance” cocktail dress had been the premiere look.

I’m including some closeups of Charlize’s face because something seems off to me. She doesn’t look Botoxed, but something is different? Is it her mouth? Has her mouth always looked like that?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Whenever I hear someone describe Charlize Theron as a bitch, I think to myself, “Yeah, I could totally see that.” She doesn’t seem like an aggressively horrible mean girl or anything, she just doesn’t seem like a woman who aims to be pleasant or easy-going or likeable. There’s nothing wrong with being unpleasant or bitchy, obviously. But it always helps to have a little self-awareness. Charlize gave an interview to People Magazine in which she claims that she wasn’t popular when she was in school, and she was bullied from the age of 7 to 12. Ah, so the victim grew up to become the iciest bitch on the block? Nothing can touch your tender heart now, Charlize.

Playing a nasty schoolgirl in the new dark comedy Young Adult, Charlize Theron recalls her own high school days as the girl who never fit in, especially with the boys.

“I wore really nerdy glasses because I was blind as could be and the boys didn’t like [me],” the actress, 36, told PEOPLE recently in New York. “I didn’t have any boyfriends, but lots of crushes.”

Ignored by a boy she had a crush on, she says she had longed to be part of the in-crowd, causing her to do “crazy things.”

“I wasn’t in the popular crowd. There was a really popular girl at school and I was obsessed with her. I mean you would go to jail for that stuff today,” Theron says with a laugh. “I was in tears one day because I couldn’t sit next to her.”

She also says she was bullied by her classmates for her glasses and not having the perfect haircut and clothes.

“I actually got a lot of the mean girl stuff from the ages of 7 to 12. I was pretty much a mess in primary school,” she admits. “But I got that out of my system by the time I got to high school and was more immune to all of that stuff.”

Young Adult opens Dec. 9.

[From People]

Do you believe her? Or are you getting tired of every celebrity now claiming that they too were bullied and uncool when they were younger? I’m getting tired of it, personally. If you play the odds, a good chunk of these celebrities are lying about their awkward, uncool school years. Now, I’ll believe that Charlize wasn’t the most popular girl, and I’ll believe that she felt awkward, but for goodness sake, let it GO.

Now, that being said, I still really want to see Charlize as the popular-girl-turned-hot-mess in Young Adult:

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Here are some photos of Charlize Theron (and Elizabeth Reaser) at the Friday screening of Young Adult. Charlize is in Dior, because she’s the face of the brand and she’s shown the brand a lot of loyalty, even after John Galliano had his anti-Semitic episode and he was subsequently fired. Thoughts on the little black dress? As I rule, I don’t care for boob ruffled, but it’s pretty. On Charlize, it’s kind of boring, right? Charlize is so pretty and she’s got that amazing body, but she has not been wowing me recently, not even with her casual clothes. What is the promotional tour for Young Adult going to be like? Like this boringness?

My concern for her fashion is because I’m starting to get the feeling that Charlize is going to get a lot of attention for Young Adult. First of all, she rarely does comedies, if ever. Secondly, Charlize rarely does movies that people really want to see. She does so many serious dramas and depressing-looking films, and Young Adult sees her join forces with Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman, the pair that brought us Juno. I just think that this will be a hit movie for Charlize, and she might even get nominated for some awards. So she needs to bring it, fashion-wise. Here’s the Young Adult trailer once again:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Charlize Theron covers the December issue of Vogue Magazine to promote her new film, Young Adult. This film is a total break from the epic depression-fest films Charlize usually makes. Young Adult was written by Diablo Cody and directed by Jason Reitman, reuniting for the first time since Juno. I’ve included the trailer at the end of the post – I think it looks really good, honestly. Anyway, I usually find Charlize’s interviews pretty boring, just because she’s not a scandalous person or a famewhore or anything, but she does do some opening up. You can read the full piece here, at Vogue, and here are some highlights:

Winning her Oscar: “The Golden Frog, you’re talking about?” Theron asks coyly. Winning the Oscar was “amazing,” she says. The night she was up for it, in a shimmering Gucci dress, she felt “like a princess.” At the last second, Diane Lane switched her seat so Theron’s mother, Gerda, could be next to her when the envelope was opened. “It was life-changing—it opened a lot of doors,” says Theron, who was nominated again for 2005’s North Country. “But it made people have a lot of opinions about what should happen next. You realize quickly that you can never please everybody.”

Young Adult: Theron plays Mavis Gary, a lonely, binge-drinking writer of serial teen romances who makes an awkward return to her Minnesota hometown, trying to win back her married high school boyfriend, Buddy Slade (played by Patrick Wilson). Mavis is a hot mess—icy and self-absorbed on the surface, but reeling underneath.

Working again after taking a break: Young Adult is Theron’s first major movie role in three years, and in the middle of filming she had a revelation. “I realized how much I love what I do,” she says. “I really, really missed it. Like around week three, I had this horrible, sappy moment where I got a little overwhelmed. It was just a really great f–king experience.”

The Stuart Townsend breakup: “I’d gotten out of a relationship, and I was in this really floaty place. My feet weren’t touching the ground. I just kind of turned to [Reitman] and was like, ‘I feel like me again.’” The relationship, of course, was Theron’s longtime partnership with the Irish actor Stuart Townsend, whom she dated for almost ten years. When the pairing began to falter, Theron says, she was desperate to save it; acting took a backseat. “It was sinking, and I had to give it a fight,” she says. “I really wanted to try and make it work. That was the priority. I wouldn’t do it any different way.”

Being a single girl: As we meet, Theron is single—a foreign experience. “I’ve never been single,” she says. “This is the first time in my life. From the time I was nineteen, I’ve been in relationships, literally gone from one to the other within a month. It’s been good for me. I’m a creature who’s really found her comfort zone in relationships. It’s been nice to rediscover myself,” Theron says. “I had to make a real conscious effort to do it—it’s hard. It’s much easier to lose yourself in flowers and cigarettes and coffee with somebody else.”

She quit smoking: Theron quit smoking a while ago but refuses to go into detail of how she did it, not wanting to jinx it. “I was highly addicted,” she confesses. “I thought, I don’t smoke like normal people. I smoke to die.”

On Kristen Stewart and Snow White and the Huntsman: Theron plays Ravenna, the Evil Queen hell-bent on destroying the princess played by Kristen Stewart, the brooding Twilight comet endlessly chronicled in celebrity weeklies. “She just turned 21,” Theron says of Stewart. “She’s a child. When I think about myself at 21, I had just done The Devil’s Advocate, and Keanu [Reeves] had paparazzi following him and Al Pacino said this thing to me: ‘If I knew that my life would be under this kind of scrutiny, I would have never become an actor.’ And I thought, Wow. I couldn’t comprehend it. And Kristen is just living this to the max and still has a sense of humor about it. There’s this really lovely quality about her that just doesn’t give a f–k. A lot of people say they don’t, but then they go home and cry and pop a Xanax. Kristen actually doesn’t give a f–k. That’s what’s so refreshing about her. I’m looking forward to killing her and taking her beauty,” Theron says. “That’s what happens, right?”

Paparazzi and fame: “Some people are really into that world, of being photographed, being at the party, being with the guy, being in the Bentley,” she says. “Good for them, because it’s so entertaining to watch. It’s just not me.”

She wants kids: “I do want to have kids, yeah,” she says. “I always have. I’ve never had a rush for it, a moment where I really wanted to do it. I don’t have a panic about it.” Lots of kids? “I don’t think about the amount so much. You have to be aware of what you can give. I don’t know where I’m going to be in five years. I might be in a place where I’m like, ‘Yeah! Six!’” Theron laughs. “I don’t think it will ever be that,” she says.

[From Vogue]

I bet she still gets high, don’t you? I bet she quit smoking cigarettes but she still smokes pot. She seems all chilled out, like an aging hippie pothead. As for her breakup with Stuart Townsend, that still upsets me. They were together for so long! And he’s so cute and Irish! That just shows me that you can spend 10 years bangin’ some hot Irish dong, and you can still have relationship problems. That’s something that Michael Fassbender and I will have to discuss.

Here’s the Young Adult trailer:

Photos courtesy of Vogue – slideshow here.