No, not back in Vogue, she’s just on the cover of the magazine of that name. She’s looking cute, despite the completely ugly and overly large bow featured on her dress, and is out promoting her three upcoming movies. She’s also promoting the fact she looks fab-u-lous for thirty-five. Winona tells us about how she feels about her December 2001 arrest.

“Two months prior to that, I broke my arm in two places, and the doctor…was giving me a lot of stuff, and I was taking it at first just to get through the pain,” she told Vogue’s August issue of the run-up to her shoplifting, with the main “stuff” being the painkiller Oxycodone. “And there was this weird point when you don’t know if you are in pain but you’re taking it.

“It isn’t a reckless [state], like you’re out of your head. It’s just confusion.”

It was while she was in this state of confusion that she decided to embark on her ill-fated Beverly Hills shopping trip.

“The attention was what was embarrassing,” she said of negative publicity over her arrest. “It was the December after Sept. 11…So much attention was being paid to me, when we had just been attacked, and there was all this really important news going on.

“I never said a word. I didn’t release a statement. I didn’t do anything. I just waited for it to be over.”

While Ryder admits that what she did was wrong, she “didn’t have this tremendous sense of guilt” about it, “because I hadn’t hurt anyone.”

“Had I physically harmed someone or caused harm to a human being, I think it would have been an entirely different experience.”

E! News

What an amazing way to address your arrest. Wait seven years, make a statement while looking hot, and then proceed with your career. I wish Britney would try this on for size.

I had never heard of Winona Ryder breaking her arm, so I decided to delve a little further, and found this…

When Ryder was arrested for shoplifting at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills, she was caught with a painkiller called endocet, in the same drug family as percocet and vicodin. Dr. Clifford Bernstein says they are powerful narcotics. He says, “They’re all in the morphine family.”

Ryder’s defense team has told “CJ” that endocet had been given to Ryder by her doctor for pain from a previously broken arm. But now “CJ has learned that the same drug could provide relief in the way of a reasonable defense on the shoplifting charges.”

Celebrity Justice

Do you really get prescribed morphine related drugs for a broken arm? I guess that’s why her arm didn’t hurt enough to prevent her from hefting a big load of stolen goods out of the store.

I can’t explain it, and I should be embarrassed to admit it, but I love Star Jones gossip. Probably because she’s just so dense. Not literally dense, but in the sense that she just seemed to have no clue how tacky and disliked she was. It did seem to sink in after a while, and she admitted that in hindsight her wedding was overdone, as was her obsession with talking about it. So if nothing else, it’s nice to see some growth in terms of self-awareness. In anticipation of her upcoming show on CourtTV, Jones is writing a confession of sorts for Glamour magazine, out August 7th. Titled “Getting Over Myself,” the piece discusses her dramatic weight loss of an estimated 150 pounds. In the past, all Jones would say was that she had “medical intervention.” Of course that could mean ten different things. Most believe that she had gastric bypass surgery, considering how quickly she lost a dramatic amount of weight.

“The Star power hour will be a chatty daily compendium of the top stories from the worlds of law, news, pop culture and entertainment. In other words, it’ll be everything from Scooter Libby to Paris Hilton to “Harry Potter.” At least that’s the plan.

“’Provocative television that’s entertaining and relevant — not for insult or embarrassment purposes, but for inspirational purposes and entertainment purposes,’ is how Jones described her hopes for the tone of her show to TV critics during a Court TV news conference Sunday morning.”

[From the Detroit Free Press]

It sounds like Star is trying pretty hard to make nice, and that’s a good thing. She’s acknowledged that she was self-absorbed and given to ridiculous extravagances in the past. I think her “talent” for self promotion, and the way it annoyed people, really clouded the fact that she’s pretty sharp. She was a New York City criminal prosecutor before joining “The View.” If she could wipe out all her boasting for good, she could still have a really great career ahead of her.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Star Jones is shown in her side career as a lobbyist in a picture from 4/23/07 in which she was visiting Congress on behalf of First Star, which strives to bring awareness to child abuse. It was also sponsored by Build a Bear workshop, so surely she got paid. Thanks to WENN for this picture.

On Saturday rapper Remy Ma (nee Remy Smith) was arrested for trying to kill Makeda Barnes-Joseph, 23, a friend of hers, outside a club called Pizza Bar in the Meatpacking District in Manhattan. Early Saturday morning police received a call reporting gunshots in the area. There they discovered Barnes-Joseph with a gunshot wound. Police also found a black Cadillac Escalade registered to Remy Ma which had been in an accident and had been abandoned a few blocks away. Barnes-Joseph is currently is stable condition.

Remy, accompanied by her attorney Scott Leemon, turned herself into police late Saturday evening, where she was also booked on charges of assault and criminal possession of a weapon. Leemon said, “I ask everyone to keep an open mind…Things are not always as they seem.”

“Sasha Tcherekoff, owner of the Pizza Bar, said a review of security videotape taken inside his nightspot showed the rapper and her friends having a good time before they exited.

“The police have indicated to us that the altercation happened a block away,” the owner said. “The security tapes determined there was no physical or verbal altercation while they were in the Pizza Bar.”

[From the Washington Post]

According to The New York Times Remy Ma and Makeda Barnes-Joseph were at Pizza Bar to attend the birthday party of a friend, rapper Krys-Style. Apparently $3,000 was missing from Remy’s purse, which led to the argument.

“When the group left the restaurant, Ms. Barnes-Joseph got into her Maxima — it was not clear whether she was alone — and Ms. Smith got into the Escalade S.U.V. The police believe the attacker left the Escalade, got into the Maxima, shot Ms. Barnes-Joseph and then raced back to the Escalade. The S.U.V. was believed to have crashed into another car at West 14th Street and 10th Avenue before being abandoned two blocks south at Little West 12th Street with its air bags deployed. Investigators said it was not known how many people had been inside.”

[From The New York Times]

Apparently the victim’s Nissan was still on the street hours after the shooting. The driver’s door was open and blood was visible to onlookers. They could also see a gold stiletto pump and a black bra inside. The New York Times also reported that Remy Ma was “a protégée of the Bronx rapper Big Pun, and after his death in 2000 she continued rapping with Fat Joe and Terror Squad.” Remy told police, “’At the end of the day, I’m a girl…It’s not like I roll up and shoot up everybody.’”

I’m putting Remy Ma on my list of ladies not to mess with. So right now we’re at Foxy Brown (if she’s packing any manicuring instruments), Little Kim (if any of her crew are around, although it’s good to know she’ll perjure herself for you if you shoot someone on her behalf) and Eve (on a bender). Man, it’s like I’m going to have to live in a cave or something.

Pictures are of Remy Ma being led away from the 6th precinct in Greenwich Village after her arrest. Photos and photo description from WENN.

Page Six has reported that Foxy Brown has been missing for over a week – since Friday, June 29th. Not just missing from paparazzi and the press, but missing from friends, family, and lawyers. Foxy Brown should never be far from her lawyers. She was last seen on a flight from Kennedy Airport to London, where she prevented the flight from leaving for over an hour. Members of her crew were late, and Brown employed several tactics to stall the plane.

“’She was trying to hold up the show because some of her entourage was late,’ said one passenger. ‘She got off the plane, then on, then off again. We’re sitting there for an hour and then the pilot comes on and said we’d be waiting a little longer for some people. Then another hour went by and they had to refuel.

‘The flight attendants said it was some of the most atrocious behavior they ever saw.’

Brown, who was ‘spilling out of’ a short green dress, ‘finally got on with her group and traded her first-class seat for a business-class seat so she could sit next to one of her people. It was an overbooked flight, so 400 people have to be inconvenienced? Some of them missed their connecting flights,’ our witness claimed.”

[From Page Six]

Jack Sampson, Foxy’s lawyer, seemed worried, but tried to downplay it when he talked to Page Six by noting that she could be working on her album. “We’re all trying to find Foxy…she’s probably getting some much needed rest. She’s been given authorization to travel and she could be working on her album. She is trying to get her album done. Depending on whom she’s working with, she could be anywhere.” But wouldn’t other people know about that? You’d expect that someone in her family or her famed entourage would be kept in the know.

A celebrity missing for a bit wouldn’t really be cause for worry in and of itself. However Brown’s criminal record (both as perpetrator and victim) makes it a bit more worrisome when she just disappears. Two weeks ago she was attacked by a group of women who beat her up, stealing her hearing aid and money from her purse. Fox had just dumped her boyfriend, a pimp, who then called on his “ladies” (is that the proper term? Forgive me, I’m not up on my pimp verbiage) to beat her up. Fox herself is known for having quite a temper, having hurled various items at not one but two manicurists over the past two years. Until that incident with the pimp, I would have said we probably don’t have to worry about Foxy Brown. Seemed like she could take care of herself. So let’s assume for the time being that unless the ratio is higher than 1 Foxy Brown to 3 Pimp’s Ladies, she’s probably fine.

Update by Celebitchy: Rhymes with Snitch points out that Foxy Brown was performing in Manhattan this weekend, so if she was missing that’s no longer true.

Someone leaked parts of the transcript of O.J.’s controversial “If I Did It” interview with his would-be publisher, Judith Reagan, to The NY Times. The interview was never aired after outrage from the victims’ families and the public forced Fox to scrap it. OJ’s book was similarly canned, and Reagan was fired from her job at Harper Collins.

All of the details O.J. gave in the interview and book were laughably called “hypothetical” in a transparent attempt to maintain his innocence. O.J. received a hefty advance for the never-published book that would have seen him profit on “hypothetical” murder. The exact amount of the advance was not confirmed, although speculation is that it was around $1 million. O.J. said that he spent his book advance on bills, but a federal judge froze the money, saying it was owed to the victim’s families as part of a $33.5 million civil lawsuit they won against him. Neither his ex-wife Nicole Brown’s family or the family of her murdered friend Ronald Goldman has seen a dime.

In the transcript obtained by The NY Times, O.J. says there are details of the uh, murders by some random other person that he can’t remember. He does say that if he did do it, there was an accomplice that he calls Charlie. The guy came to him that night to tell him dirt about his ex-wife Nicole, probably that she was sleeping around, and he got all worked up and decided to confront her.

Charlie came with him to the scene, where Goldman happened to be by sheer bad luck and good samaritanship for returning Nicole’s sunglasses. Goldman tried to do karate on O.J. after Nicole “fell and hurt herself,” most likely after O.J. smacked her, and then O.J. used the knife that this guy Charlie brought to him from the car at the opportune moment.

After the deed was done, O.J. asked “Charlie” to get rid of the evidence for him:

Mr. Simpson introduces a new character to the well-known cast: a man identified only as Charlie, someone he had recently met and befriended, and who, in the hypothetical accounts, served as an unwilling accomplice to the murders.

Mr. Simpson says in the interview that Charlie came to his house that night and told him of troubling aspects of Ms. Simpson’s personal life, things Mr. Simpson said “had to stop.” The two drove to Ms. Simpson’s nearby home. He says that he always kept a ski hat in his car for chilly mornings on the golf course, along with a knife to deal with “crazies.” Mr. Simpson says he left the knife in the car, with Charlie.

As Mr. Simpson approached his ex-wife’s door, Mr. Goldman arrived, the two began exchanging angry words, and Ms. Simpson came out and joined the argument, Mr. Simpson says. After she “fell,” Mr. Goldman squared off against Mr. Simpson in a karate stance. Then Charlie showed up with the knife.

Mr. Simpson says he remembered grabbing the knife from Charlie. He says he then blacked out. His next memory is being covered in “blood and stuff.”

Asked by Ms. Regan to describe the bloody scene in greater detail, he at one point suggests that viewers read the book because he found it too difficult to discuss. Moments later, he speaks about it in a way that suggests he holds no more knowledge of the crime scene than anyone else who had watched the televised trials…

The transcript does not contain any remarks by Mr. Simpson about what happened to the bloody clothes or the knife he described in the interview. But in the manuscript Mr. Simpson wrote that he gave a bundle to Charlie with explicit instructions to “make sure it disappears … forever.”

At first I thought, “Oh ‘Charlie’ is Kato Kaelin,” but now I’m pretty sure he’s not. The reason I assumed that is because he’s the only guy I know connected to the case who was a friend of O.J. and Nicole and who saw O.J. that night.

O.J. said that the man who came to him with the news about Nicole was a “recent” friend, though. Nicole and Ron Goldman were murdered in June, 1994. Kaelin moved into the guest house at then-Nicole and O.J.’s mansion in mid January 1993, according to his testimony at Simpson’s trial. He ended up moving to the guest house behind O.J.’s Rockingham estate when Nicole and O.J. sold their place. He wasn’t a “recent” friend, and since Nicole is the one he was friends with first and who invited him to stay, it doesn’t seem like he would betray her by talking smack to O.J.

TMZ had a recent story that Kaelin said “What do you mean if?” when asked what he thought about O.J.’s book “If I did it.” There’s a book about Kaelin by a guy who interviewed him extensively and claims he knew how crazy jealous O.J. was, which does not jibe with his cleaned-up testimony at O.J.’s trial. The author says Kaelin tried to spare O.J. and be likeable on the witness stand, and didn’t talk about how whacked O.J. was. Kaelin denied O.J. was jealous in his cross examination, and basically said that O.J. didn’t talk about Nicole to him, wasn’t any different on the night of the murders, and that the only thing he heard was three “thumps” that night that he mistook at first for an earthquake, but was probably just O.J. turning on the air conditioning.

Regardless I don’t think Kato was the one at the scene, so who was there? Of course O.J., I mean the other murderer O.J. is channeling for his aborted book, is responsible, not the accomplice. That accomplice should be at least tried since O.J. already bought his way out of a life sentence.

Who was O.J.’s recent friend at the time who could have handed him the knife and disposed of it afterwards? They have stuff like this all the time on that “Cold Case” show. You can’t try a person twice for the same crime, but you can find the other person that’s responsible and bring them to justice.

Of course there might not have been another person there, and O.J. could be making Charlie up to make it seem like he was driven to double murder by forces beyond his control.

Update: Maybe O.J. isn’t clever enough to make up a person who wasn’t there. According to the evidence at his trial, the defense “noted that the genetic material of an unknown person was found in the steering wheel blood,” which they used as part of their conspiracy theory that O.J. was framed. There was also said to be “unexplained [foot] imprints” at the scene that didn’t match O.J.’s size 12 Bruno Maglis.

Who could this other guy have been that was with O.J.? Well, wasn’t his friend, fellow ex football player Al Cowlings, the one who drove him on that weird low speed chase in the Bronco that was all over television? Cowlings played high school football with O.J., though, so it wasn’t like he was a recent friend.

There was a guy called Christian Reichardt who testified on O.J.’s behalf that he spoke to him on the phone on the night of the murders and that he was calm and relaxed. Reichardt was the boyfriend of Nicole’s best friend Faye Resnick, and according to a Fox News article he was helping wean O.J. off steroids. (Steroid rage may have caused O.J. to freak out and murder his ex and her maybe-boyfriend.) Given that his name also starts with a “Ch,” it’s not so much of a stretch to assume that he could have been “Charlie.”

A drug runner 61 year old grandma was caught with 214 pounds of ganj. Grammy Garcia told police that she received only $275 in welfare a month and regularly gambled to buy money for weed support herself.

When police turned a deaf ear to her pleas, Grammy decided to take another route and pulled out a gun, no two, and said, “Give me back my bingo pot, bitches!” That’s when they decided intervention needed to happen and maced her bingo loving ass.

No, not really. But that’s what I imagined happened. Instead after that lousy excuse didn’t work, she claimed she was tricked which was a total farce because we all know if the crazy lady had 214 lbs. of weed that she had to protect and hide at all costs, she most definitely knew they weren’t a different strain of tomato plants.

Bad news: She’s getting 3-12 years in the slammer.

Good news: She will probably hand-make bingo cards out of discarded trash and bingo balls made out of buttermints and convince the other inmates to play with her.

And here I have posted a picture of Ryan Phillippe just because I’m sure he and Granny have the same interests.

A group of Japanese film-makers were in for a rude awakening when they thought they could breach security at the Beckham’s Spanish estate. They were sneaking around trying to make a documentary about homes of the rich and famous when an eagle-eyed security guard confronted them with a gun. Victoria and her one year old son, Cruz, were home, but the couple’s other two children were at school and David was off training. It turned into this huge drama, and the suspicious filmmakers were carted off to the police station:

A BODYGUARD to the Beckhams pulled a GUN on three intruders in a kidnap scare at the couple’s Spanish home, the News of the World can reveal.

The armed minder dramatically confronted them seconds after they slipped through a metal gate and headed towards the £5million mansion where Posh, 32, and one-year-old son Cruz were inside.

The burly guard—who spotted the three on CCTV at a security post —sprinted across the grounds into their path, pointed his pistol at them and screamed: “Stop! Stop! Don’t move! I have a gun.”

The shocked men put up their hands and blurted out that they were Japanese journalists filming a documentary about houses of the rich and famous.

But the guard kept his weapon pointed at them, shouting: “Give me the camera! Give me the camera!” He only lowered the pistol when one of the intruders carrying a digital camcorder gingerly handed it over.

Six armed cops in marked police cars then screeched up to the house after a call from the Beckhams’ security team and took the men away.

Former England captain Becks, 31, was at Real Madrid’s training ground when the 11am drama unfolded on Tuesday. Elder sons Brooklyn, seven, and Romeo, four, were at school.

The men were only released when police were convinced their story was true. A source close to the couple said: “The guard had no idea if these men were kidnappers, robbers or crazed stalkers planning to attack Victoria.

Supposedly there was a 2002 plot to kidnap Victoria so the bodyguard was not overreating. Well, at least no one got hurt.