The tale of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s romance is growing sillier with each passing week of the tabloid news cycle. Of course, the tabs had this couple pegged for nearly a year before Johnny and Amber went public as a couple at a Rolling Stone’s concert. The last we heard, Johnny and Amber might be “secretly engaged“ even though it’s virtually certain that, at some point, 27-year-old Amber will have had enough of 50-year-old Johnny, and he’ll end up looking like a total fool.

In the meantime though, Amber’s going to milk this relationship for all it’s worth, and if that means taking advantage of Johnny’s industry influence, so be it. This week’s issue of the Enquirer says that Amber was really upset with her crappy little trailer on the set of Paranoia, so Johnny made execs give her a really decked-out replacement. As a side note, have have you seen the trailer for this movie yet? Amber has some hot scenes with Liam Hemsworth, but the movie as a whole looks like a snooze, and I remain unconvinced that Liam’s fanbase will want to watch a film about corporate intrigue. Anyway, Amber ended up getting a better set trailer than Gary F—ing Oldman. How ridiculous is that?

Whatever Johnny Depp’s 22-years-younger hottie Amber Heard wants, Amber gets! Filming her new flick Paranoia in LA’s hot, dusty, downtown industrial area, Young Stuff whined to Big Daddy Depp that her dressing trailer was too damn small — and hotter than hell because its air conditioner was on life support! Quicker than Tonto on a Lone Ranger rescue, Depp snapped his fingers in some exec’s face — and when Amber hit the set next morning, she was thrilled to find her teeny trailer replaced by a state-of-the-art caravan the size of a locomotive. Drawled Amber’s co-star, Gary Oldman, “How do I start dating Johnny Depp?

[From Enquirer, print edition, June 23, 2013]

You gotta love Gary. He’s no diva and probably didn’t mean to sound anything but funny with his remark, but there’s some truth to his words. There’s one detail about this story that seems a little bit off, which is that the movie was largely shot in Philadelphia, but that’s a trivial detail since some scenes were in fact shot in LA.

The Enquirer also has another story about how Vanessa Paradis has told Johnny Depp that marrying Amber is a bad idea: “She’s convinced that Amber’s trying to get her hooks into Johnny and his money … but Vanessa doesn’t believe it’s going to last … she thinks their kids will be crushed when the relationship goes south.” I’m not sure whether Vanessa would really stick her nose into Johnny’s current relationship, but if the story is true, then Vanessa is seeing a lot more clearly than Johnny at this point.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

These are two new photos of Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman in Philadelphia, where they’ve been filming their new movie (Paranoia), and they posed for photos when they went out to eat together. So… this is just your FYI: this is what Harrison Ford looks like these days. I know, it gets kind of depressing, especially on the heels of what Ralph Fiennes looks like these days. Much like Ralph’s unfortunate look, I suspect that part of Harrison’s vibe might be specifically for the film. He must have shave his head, right? Because just a few months ago (back in April), he looked like this:

Still grizzled, obviously. With hair, Harrison seems like an aging rancher or cowboy, leathery from working in the sun for decades. Without hair, Harrison seems… like, Ben Kingsley or something. Which isn’t bad at all – I love Ben Kingsley. But I never thought Harrison Ford would give me Ben Kinglsey vibes. Incidentally, Harrison Ford turned 70 years old a month ago. I’d say he looks pretty well-preserved for 70.

Also – I end up thinking about Harrison whenever I watch White Collar. Does Tim DeKay remind anyone else of a young Harrison? That’s one of the reasons I’m still watching White Collar – my love of Americana beefcake like Tim DeKay.

Last thing – Gary Oldman looks really hot, right?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The new theatrical trailer for Lawless (formerly The Wettest County) has surfaced, and I can’t figure out if it’s worth getting excited over this prohibition drama or if it’s just misguided awards bait. Certainly, this is a prestige film if one considers that John Hillcoat (The Road, The Proposition) is in the director’s seat. Further, the cast includes Tom Hardy and Shia LeBeouf — with the latter finally branching out from ridiculous robot movies (Transformers, obviously) and franchise reboots (Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps) — as two of the Bondurant brothers, who are based upon the real-life trio that bootlegged moonshine and encountered much resistance from the hand of the law. The cast also boasts current awards-circuit favorites such as Jessica Chastain and Mia Wasikowska as token love interests while Gary Oldman makes a menacing appearance as a gangster and Guy Pearce plays a lawman. Not too shabby, right?

Here’s the film’s official synopsis with the trailer below:

Gangster meets Western in Lawless, the true story of the freewheelin’ Bondurant brothers, bootlegging siblings taking the law into their own hands. This is the story of the rural hard-men that created the big city gangsters. Brazen and fearless, these young rebel brothers helped build the American Dream in this exuberant tale of what was to become crime’s first major gold rush. The youngest brother, Jack(Shia LaBeouf), fancies himself the next Al Capone; he dreams of sharp suits, guns, girls and fast cars, no matter the cost.

Ambitious and impulsive, he takes the family’s small-scale moonshining operation to the big leagues, to impress the gorgeous but off-limits Amish girl, Bertha (Mia Wasikowska). The middle brother, Howard (Jason Clarke), is the brawling muscle — loyal but reckless — never one to turn down a taste of white lightning. And eldest brother, Forrest (Tom Hardy), reluctantly accepts the changing times with grace and grit, leading the family with strength of character and silent determination against the beginnings of corporate greed.

An enigmatic and stunning Maggie (Jessica Chastain) comes to town with a hidden past, igniting his passion and almost saving him in the process. As the Bondurants’ legend grows, so too does the danger, and it’s not long before the brothers must face the consequences of their transgressions, or rewrite the myth and the law themselves.

[From Weinstein Co.]

Eh. I just can’t see Shia as a serious actor anymore after witnessing him shout “Optimus!” on a repeated basis. He’s going to have to earn some audience respect back, and maybe this movie will do that, but the trailer doesn’t quite do the job. As for the rest of the ensemble cast, they all seem to handle their roles well even though the trailer seems to push for momentum through an overbearing score and obvious title cards. Maybe this is another Weinstein disaster in the making, but I hope not. Such a largely wonderful cast would be a terrible thing to waste.

Photos courtesy of YouTube and AllMoviePhoto

Victoria Beckham was on hand last night at the GREAT British film reception, which honored this year’s British Oscar nominees. Naturally, Victoria wore one of her own designs with this ultra-fitted (like all of her looks) military green dress. Once again, this look works well on her because she’s so tiny, but on any celebrity with a “normal” body, it would probably be ridiculous. Victoria paired the dress with black leather above-the-knee boots and an odd-looking beige clutch. She still looks worn out and exhausted as hell at this event. Usually, people want Victoria to eat a sandwich, but I merely want her to take a few naps. As a veteran of Non-Sleeping Baby Syndrome myself, it’s exhausting just to look at her.

Gary Oldman was also there with his stunning wife, Alexandra Edenborough, whose little black dress seemed like she had a matching tank top underneath, which makes for a much too complicated effect from what should just be a simple, figure-flattering look. Gary’s up for Best Actor, and while he probably won’t win, he probably really will be the only guy there who’s just honored to be nominated.

Kenneth Branagh and his wife, Lindsay Brunnock, were in attendance as well. Ken’s up for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in My Week With Marilyn. That checkered tie just doesn’t do it for me.

Christopher Plummer, who seems to be the frontrunner for Best Supporting Actor for his role in Beginners was there too. This was not a good night for British dudes wearing ties.

Finally, James Frain takes care of all the remaining eye candy quotient that wasn’t already engulfed by Gary Oldman. James is attractive, but I’d like to give him a good shampooing.

Photos courtesy of WENN

To be perfectly blunt, I’ve always considered Gary Oldman to be “the sh-t” and have noted before (within a Pajiba column) that he “just might be too bloody adept for his own good” and that his consistently impressive acting skills leave “precious little room for improvement.” Indeed, Oldman may have (unwittingly?) indulged in a very shambolic personal life for decades, but his career work has always been stellar. Lately too, he seems to have gathered himself on the family front after having been married for three years to Alexandra Edenborough (jazz singer Alex Eden), with whom he now raises to young sons. Of course, Alex is Oldman’s fourth wife, a fact to which he admits is nothing worth bragging about, but hopefully she will be the final wife. Now Oldman sits down with the LA Times for an interview about Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy that was conducted before he (finally) received his first Oscar nomination. It’s about time, right?

On Playing Many Wild Characters: “[T]ypecasting got its grip on me in the ’90s. I did those two rather extraordinary cartoon characters for Luc Besson in Leon: The Professional and The Fifth Element, and then I began to be perceived as crazy, manic, like a circus freak. That to me was just one book in the library of Gary Oldman, but you’re just asked to write it again and again.”

On Toning It Down: “It’s a big ship to turn around. You have to find the right vehicle. I became a single dad and had the responsibility of bringing up two boys, and I chose to be a father who was around. That coincided with a shift in the Industry. A lot of productions were being exported. All of a sudden, American productions were going overseas for tax breaks, so certain options were closed to me, because I couldn’t be somebody living out of a suitcase. And that’s when Harry Potter fell from the sky, shortly followed by Batman, two of the biggest franchises in cinema history. It was wonderful not only to be a part of it, but I was earning a little more than in indie movies, and I got to be home with the kids.”

On Why He Never Gets Oscar Nominations (until now): “Don’t know. I’ve never pushed myself much in that regard. I don’t have a publicist. I like my hidey-hole.”

Having A Deadbeat Dad Influenced His Acting: “Yeah, and I guess it’s influenced my relationships with women as well. I have been a bit disastrous in that area. It took until my fourth time, I’m not proud to say. I recently remarried, and though it’s taken me a long time, as we say in England, I’ve found a cracker.”

On How A Public Divorce Feels: “Pretty filthy. But I’ve gotten used to it. It’s that old saying that whatever people think of me is none of my business. You learn that something you might react to as an eight on the Richter scale–now it’s a tremor. I think that just comes with age and knowing what is important. When I’m at home, I want my focus taken up with my family, and I don’t want to fill the hard drive with bulls–t. But easier said than done.”

[From LA Times]

There’s more to the interview — and it’s well worth a read if you fancy Oldman in any shape or form — including how he got beat up by some extras (who were real-life punks) on the set of Sid & Nancy because they were really upset that anyone would dare to play Sid Vicious. Ultimately, Oldman was brilliant in that role despite that little hitch, but he’s good at everything from character acting to the straight-man roles that he’s favored lately. Hell, he is even captivating while reading the (admittedly disgusting) plot from last week’s episode of “Jersey Shore” during an episode of “Jimmy Kimmel.”
It’s a discombombulating performance and about on par with Christopher Walken reading the lyrics to Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face.” Quite disturbing, really.

Also, Oldman really knows how to wear the hell out of a suit.

Photos courtesy of WENN

These are some new photos of Colin Firth and Gary Oldman out to dinner at Babbo in London over the weekend. It’s odd (to me) that these two are friendly enough to dine together – seemingly without their wives? Just two Englishman, out for dinner, discussing…? What, exactly? Granted, they’re both in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, and both have gotten critical acclaim for their respective roles. Tinker is in limited release currently, so perhaps these photos are just a way to promote the film? Or perhaps Colin and Gary just had dinner as an excuse to bitch about the promotion of the film?

You see, the film is a critical favorite. But it’s being released concurrently with all of the other, bigger awards favorites, and it’s being overlooked. A month ago, everyone thought Gary was a lock for a Best Actor Oscar nomination, but as the awards nominations have come out, Gary has been ignored, and so has the film. Is it possible that our reigning Best Actor winner (Colin Firth) is trying to drum up some support and love for an actor he thinks should be getting Academy love?

I’ve read this a few different times, but I’m not sure if it’s true – I think Colin Firth was the one who really made Tinker happen, and Colin really wanted to be part of an old-fashioned spy film, and an ensemble, and he pushed for Gary to take the lead. I don’t know if that’s what went down, but it might make sense. It is weird to me that Gary Oldman has never even been NOMINATED for an Oscar, and I will love Colin Firth even more if he’s trying to make it happen for his colleague.

PS… A few weeks ago, Vanity Fair had a lovely interview with Gary – go here to read it. He used to be such a temperamental hellraiser, it’s nice to see him as “the establishment” these days. Plus, he name-checks Michael Fassbender!

Photos courtesy of Fame.