These are some photos of Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart from about a week ago. I don’t know why I’m just getting to them now…? J.Lo is wearing fur – is that mink? Chinchilla? And she and Casper were headed into a medical building. Dear God, please don’t let her be pregnant. Please please please do let this doofus impregnate her. That’s what I think whenever a celebrity is pap’d outside of a medical building – “OMG, preggo.” It’s not always the case. But… it happens enough that I’m concerned.

You know what else concerns me? When Jennifer’s 24-year-old, facially-challenged man-child gets her name tattooed on his dong. That’s what In Touch Weekly claims:

What says “I love you” more than having your girlfriend’s name tattooed on your nether region? Nothing, if you’re Jennifer Lopez’s boyfriend, Casper Smart.

According to a friend, Casper surprised J.Lo with this token of his affection – and she was thrilled with the latest addition to his already inked-up body!

“Jennifer thinks Casper’s tattoos are sexy, but this one is her favorite, for obvious reasons,” her friend says. “She loves it, and she loves him.”

It’s a lovefest all around, according to another source, who says Casper’s friends and family have become “obsessed” with his high-profile relationship. One wrote on his Facebook wall: “All of you mom and dad’s friends are living vicariously through you” after Casper posted a photo of him with J.Lo. And his mom has even renamed herself Shawna Lopaz!

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

You know what’s going to hurt? All of the laser treatments to this boy’s delicates a year from now. You know what’s going to cushion the pain spasms? The fact that Jennifer had to write him a fat check after marrying and divorcing him in the span of six months. And of course his mom loves it! WTF? I know some commenters have kids who are adults or almost adults – how would you feel about your early-20s son dating a woman twenty years older than him, with two kids and three ex-husbands (plus an ex-fiancé)? How would you feel if your son got that woman’s name tattooed on his peen? So gross.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

I know. The tabloids are always full of speculation about Jennifer Lopez and her facially-challenged boy-toy Casper Smart. Some say that Jennifer thinks Casper is “the one” and that her kids already call him “Papi”. Some say that Jennifer is self-aware enough to NOT marry this one. But after Jennifer gushed about Casper in her Vogue Mag interview… I’m more inclined to think she might end up married to this one. It was looking iffy there for a moment, especially since Casper didn’t get to be J.Lo’s plus-one at the Oscars. But I think Star Magazine is on to something:

J.Lo is planning a small, intimate yacht wedding in Mexico with much younger man Casper Smart! It’s only been eight months since her split with Marc Anthony, but Jennifer Lopez, 42, is wasting no time to become a bride again for the fourth time, reports Star.

“Everyone in Jennifer’s inner circle thinks she’s lost her mind,” a source says. “Her mom, Guadalupe, flat out told her that marrying Casper will be the biggest mistake of her life!”

But Jen is determined to wed Casper, 24. Wedding plans are already underway, and even designer Roberto Cavalli tweeted he’s prepping for the big day.

“Today, Jennifer Lopez. Call me…She ask me. To create a special dress. For her next wedding!” he wrote on March 12. (Although his rep later claimed that someone hacked into his account and tweeted the statement, there were no other impostor tweets from the alleged hacker.)

Reportedly, J.Lo and Casper were vacationing in Acapulco when they decided to tell their family their decision to tie the knot.

“Jennifer called her mom, sister and a few trusted friends from Acapulco…She said that she and Casper decided to get married in Mexico. Her mom…thought they had eloped, but Jen just laughed and said it was only a matter of time.”

But her family wasn’t happy with the announcement, believing Casper to be a golddigger.

Thankfully, Jen is already in the works of putting together a prenup that stipulates she’ll “only” be paying Casper a cool million per year for the next 10 years.

“Jennifer’s gut is telling her that Casper is marriage material,” a source reveals. “And there’s no talking her out of something once she sets her mind on it.”

[From Hollywood Life]

Can we talk about how funny this line is – “Jennifer’s gut is telling her that Casper is marriage material”? Like, Jennifer is known for having a really “gut”-detector or something. Like she hasn’t already been through three marriages and she’s the wisest woman ever, and we should all respect her infatuation with a 24-year-old backup dancer. But yes… that Cavalli tweet really was sketchy, and God knows, Casper doesn’t seem eager to move on. They’ll totally get married.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, Star cover courtesy of Celebrity Dirty Laundry.

As I previously mentioned, Jennifer Lopez is the April cover girl for Vogue Magazine. These are some of the selected shots from Mert & Marcus’s photo shoot… while I like J.Lo in red, it becomes overkill. We get it, she’s fiery. Enough. Try another color. You can read Jennifer’s full Vogue interview here. Since I’m writing this very early in the morning, I can only admit to skimming the piece for highlights. Marc Anthony makes an appearance at the beginning of the interview, with the writer noting, “Lest you think it’s all smiles for the cameras but war behind the scenes, the two spend the next hour huddled in her dressing room, still friends after all these months.” Meaning that Jennifer kept the Vogue interviewer waiting for an hour while she flirted with her ex-husband. That’s all you need to know, baby.

How J.Lo lives: The house, a classic white brick manse, is huge—nine bedrooms—and sprawls out from the center hall with two giant wings. The interior is echt J.Lo: luxe, modern, and sexy—dark floors, gray curtains and walls, pastel-colored furniture. Her assistant, Gilly, deposits me in Lopez’s office and says, “Jennifer will be down shortly.” I hear kids shrieking somewhere upstairs. Like Lopez herself, the office is both masculine and feminine. There are wood-paneled walls and wingback chairs, a killer sound system, and a fur throw draped over a sofa. There’s a huge plaque (30 MILLION ALBUMS SOLD WORLD-WIDE); a ledge full of various film- and music-industry awards; and on her desk, nude shots of J.Lo for the advertising campaign for her forthcoming perfume, Glowing (the sample fragrance bottle actually lights up). A quick glance at the shelves reveals a taste for the classics (The Grapes of Wrath, Shakespeare); memoir (Arthur Miller’s Timebends); and self-help (Lies at the Altar: The Truth About Great Marriages). On the glass coffee table there is a big, lush book on Pucci, which somehow seems perfect.

How she is with Casper: Despite the scary tattoos and shaved head, Smart was polite and very friendly. They are clearly besotted. Indeed, they cannot keep their hands off each other, and it is impossible not to notice just how happy Lopez is around him.

Benny Medina is the love of her life: “Puffy was like, ‘You need Benny Medina!’ ” says Lopez. “So I brought him up to my hotel room and played him the first song I ever wrote, and he was like, ‘OK, I’ll manage you.’ ” Other than a two-year-long “estrangement” (her word) that ended when Lopez was seven months pregnant, the two have been thick as thieves ever since. Medina, who is gay, knows Lopez as well as anyone. When I ask Lopez if she thinks of him as her “gay husband,” she laughs and says, “Yeah! I kinda do!” But then she gets more serious. “I just think of him as a real, creative soul mate. He’s been the most consistent man in my life besides my dad. We love each other. People always ask about all the men I dated, and I am like, ‘You know the Benny and Jennifer story? That’s the real story here.’ ”

Her diva reputation, and where she was in 2005: “I had such a reputation,” she says of that time. “And it was sad because I felt like it so didn’t represent who I really was.” But as she herself will attest, in some ways the negativity came from within. “I think of myself on that day at the studio on Long Island and how insecure I was about my own talent. I just never really gave myself any credit. And because of that, nobody else did either. You mirror what the world mirrors to you.” She thanks Anthony for helping her believe in herself. “He always told me what a beautiful voice I have. He was like, ‘It’s in there; you just gotta let it out. It’s a confidence thing with you.’ Then all of a sudden one day I was like, I’m good at this!” Here she gets as worked up as I have ever seen her. “Oh, man! People are not giving me jobs because they feel sorry for me! I am an actress. I am a singer. I am a performer. That’s what I do! Once I started giving myself a little credit, the whole world opened up.”

J.Lo on tough love: “By nature I am not tough, believe it or not.” Really? “No. I am a lover. And with my kids I am even softer. I realize with my son, I have to sometimes be tough, especially now when he’s pushing boundaries. With my daughter, I can get a little stern with her and she pretty much will listen. But my son will just scream and yell and run. I’m like, Aaaaah, what do I do with this?!”

On Casper: She describes herself as a “mushy romantic.” When I ask her what she can tell me about her boyfriend, she says, “Not much,” and giggles. “He’s adorable. But you already see that.” He seems very loving and sweet, I say. “He is. He really is. He’s a good egg. I don’t want to talk about it too much. It’s my private thing.”

On Marc Anthony: “The men kind of drink beer and smoke cigarettes, and women kind of like . . . don’t. But those things were not the issue so much. It became about something else. Without going into detail . . . it’s just really, really sad. And look, we are still going through it, and it’s emotional sometimes and difficult. We’re still friends—and we’re parents. But it’s going to take time.” She pauses. “It’s tough. But for the most part, I feel very proud of the way we’re handling it. I really do. We are doing the best we can for the kids. What you saw today, on Ellen, it’s very dignified and trying to be above all the emotions and pain that come along with a divorce and a family breaking apart. This is grown-up stuff. It’s real, serious, grown-up stuff.”

Loving herself: Lopez leans forward and shows me a ring she has on her finger. Someone gave it to her right after her divorce as a reminder to “love myself first,” she says. Indeed, it is a diamond band that spells out: I LOVE ME. “That may sound conceited, but it’s not. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anybody else. And I think as women we really forget that. All we want is to be happy, to feel secure, to feel understood. But you can’t look for somebody else to do that for you. You think about it. . . . Oh, yeah, of course I care about myself. Of course I have good self-esteem. But when you really take a good look, you are not treating yourself like someone who does. And when you let people treat you in a way that you don’t want to be treated, it’s not their fault. It’s yours.”

[Via Jonathan Van Meter/VOGUE]

Of course, I left out some choice comments by Benny Medina, many of which we already covered yesterday. I also left out a gem from Van Meter, who described his first impression of Marc Anthony, back in 2005. Apparently, Anthony was just standing around Jennifer’s photo shoot, “drinking cans of beer and chain-smoking Newports.” OMG. This explains so much! As for the interview… it was fine. Jennifer is getting better at self-editing, which helps when she’s putting herself out there as a lovable nice-girl. I’m not a J.Lo hater, so I’m buying it.

Photos courtesy of Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott/VOGUE, slideshow here.

These are some days-old photos of Jennifer Lopez on the set of her new music video in Acapulco, Mexico. I never got around to writing about them because I honestly didn’t think the photos were all that interesting. I guess it’s interesting that Casper Smart – who is seen in some of these pics – is described as the “director” of the music video. Like, he’s all legit now. Street cred, yo. He’s directing his girl’s music video. He has a JOB.

Now that Casper has a job (which his girlfriend gave him, maybe out of pity), it’s time for another round of “Is Jennifer going to end up married to this facially challenged d-bag?” Survey says: yeah, probably. Read this sketchy story from People:

Is Jennifer Lopez ready to walk down the aisle with Casper Smart?

Speculation ricocheted around the web that the pop star, 42, and her beau, 24, might be ready to tie the knot when fashion designer Roberto Cavalli seemed to send out an intriguing Tweet to his followers on Monday.

“Today , Jenifer Lopez. Call me…… She ask me. To create a special dress. For her next weding. !” he appeared to Tweet. “Wich color … Do you advise me. ?”

But any imminent plans for the couple to wed are not true. Cavalli’s rep tells PEOPLE that the designer’s account had been hacked and “therefore it’s completely false,” and a close Lopez source says, “They are not getting married. They are not even engaged.”

(Lopez’s rep did not respond to multiple requests for comment.)

But that doesn’t mean Lopez and Smart aren’t still going strong. In fact, the couple seem to be getting along better than ever. Just this week, the pair spent time in Acapulco, Mexico, where Lopez filmed a music video. And Smart has been spotted supporting Lopez during live tapings of American Idol.

“Jennifer thinks she is very lucky to have met Casper,” says the close source. “He is everything that Marc wasn’t: kind, supportive, appreciative…There is a lot of love between [them]. He treats her like a queen.”

Smart has been bonding with Lopez’ twins Max and Emme, 4, as well. “He is great with Max and Emme and genuinely cares about them,” says the source.

Meanwhile, Lopez and Marc Anthony, 43, who split in July of last year, have still not finalized their divorce, although a source close to Anthony tells PEOPLE that they filed “months ago.”

[From People]

My head couldn’t hit the desk fast enough with “Jennifer thinks she is very lucky to have met Casper.” Girl… get it together. I still can’t believe we’re watching J.Lo repeat – she already had a backup dancer husband! Cris Judd, y’all!! Cris was The Original Casper.

Incidentally, in the new issue of Vogue, Jennifer’s on-again manager Benny Medina (didn’t she fire him at some point only to rehire him?) talked about Jennifer’s man issues. Medina thinks J.Lo is a serial monogamist, and he described her problem:

“The thing that I always sort of wished is that she would give herself time to just naturally meet someone, instead of having obsessive guys pursue her… The ease with which that obsession becomes a relationship I think sometimes works against her ability to have a real meaningful relationship. And she never half does anything. When she commits to anything in her work, her life, or her relationships, she is in it. She’s not oblivious to her own reality right now, as in, ‘Damn, I’m 42 with a 24-year-old. Why?’ We talked about it yesterday… She was just like, ‘It’s not even the age, Benny. It’s actually that I just came out of a relationship where I felt like I was kind of not getting what I needed. And I’m open! So somebody who steps in right now and is actually touching me in a way – it’s very fertile ground!’”

[Medina’s comments via Radar]

Well… Medina is really putting it out there, isn’t he? Sort of. I think this is a version of Jennifer’s situation, but it’s not quite the truth. Medina frames Jennifer’s man problems as “So many men are obsessed with her, and she falls for dudes who worship her and then builds the relationship from there.” While you could make that argument with Jennifer’s relationship with Marc Anthony, I don’t really see it as a pattern, you know? Mostly Jennifer just goes for whatever low-hanging fruit is right in front of her.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Jennifer Lopez covers the April issue of Vogue Magazine, their annual “Shape Issue”. J.Lo hasn’t had a Vogue cover since… 2005, I think. The pictorial was shot by Mario Testino, and I’m pretty sure the photo shoot must have been done in Miami – we had behind-the-scenes photos of Jennifer back in January while she was doing a photo shoot in Miami, and I believe it was with Testino. I kind of like the cover shot, which is the only thing that’s been released thus far. She looks sultry and pretty. However, I’m not crazy about the choice of Jennifer for a Vogue cover girl at this point. It just seems… dated. We’ll have the full Vogue photo shoot and cover interview when it’s released. Maybe later today, maybe tomorrow.

Speaking of dated, have you seen Jennifer’s new commercial for her Kohl’s home accessories line? It’s… awful.

Why is Jennifer extending her brand into stuff like this? I’m sure there’s money in it, of course, but is she that hard up for money?

Photos courtesy of The Fashion Spot, additional photos by Fame/Flynet.

After so much hand-wringing about Jennifer Lopez’s facially-challenged boyfriend, I think I’ve finally figured it out. Jennifer adores Casper Smart. He makes her feel young. They are enjoying themselves. But he embarrasses her. I know he embarrasses her because A) She took down the loved-up Twit-pic and B) Casper didn’t get to walk the Oscar red-carpet with her. Sure, Casper was her official date for the post-Oscar parties, and he got to be introduced to everyone as Jennifer’s “boyfriend.” But the fact that he didn’t actually go to the Oscars with her? That says something. That says that Jennifer has a smidge of self-awareness. It shows that she might not end up marrying this one. Still, the tabloids are trying to convince us that Jennifer is poor victim being used by her boy-toy!

While Casper Smart may have helped Jennifer Lopez heal from the heartache of her divorce, Jen’s new love is tearing her life to pieces!

“Jen’s friends are concerned that Casper is using her for fame and fortune,” a source tells Star. “They think after he cashes in, he’ll dump her like yesterday’s news.”

Jen seems to be indulging 24-year-old Casper’s every whim – “Everyone’s worried that Jen will wind up with a broken heart again and humiliated. It’s so obvious to everyone but Jen that he’s using her.”

Meanwhile, Casper is living it up on J.Lo’s dime. She pays Casper $10,000 a week to support his new life of luxury.

“He doesn’t have his own money… and at this rate, she’ll go broke supporting his champagne tastes.”

He’s even exploiting her business contacts. “Casper needles Jen to introduce him to music executives and entertainment big-wigs,” says the source. “Jen bends over backwards to please him.”

And her relationship is ravaging her friendships. “Jen dumped two longtime girlfriends because they were slamming Casper… Jen exploded, calling her friends traitors. Ultimately, she chose Casper over her pals.”

While J.Lo refuses to see the warning signs, sources say this love is doomed to disaster. “Casper is a jerk. Eventually Jennifer will learn this painful truth.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

I’m not sure if I buy this dynamic. While I could believe that Casper is partly a user and a famewhore, I also think he’s just… young. He’s attached himself to this older woman who is very, very famous, and he’s figuring it out as he goes along. That’s how I’m reading it – he wants to make her happy, and he’s not pushing things. Plus, I’m guessing that Casper knows, somewhere, that Jennifer is kind of embarrassed to be dating him.

Photos courtesy of PCN and WENN.

Jennifer Lopez covers the April issue of V magazine for their “sports” issue all dressed up as a boxer. She’s photographed by Mario Testino, and the editorial spread honestly gives me the vibe of a 1990s Cindy Crawford shoot. I find it strange that the best that V could do for their sports issue is JLo, but the message seems to be that Lopez is a fighter and survivor. I guess it’s somewhat inspiring that “Jenny from the Block” can suffer repeated career setbacks (Gigli, The Back-up Plan) and still come back with a $20 million dollar annual paycheck for her work on “American Idol.” Presumably, we should also be impressed that JLo has also “survived” multiple marriages and came back with a 24-year-old facially-challenged boy-toy as well. To each their own.

At any rate, the interview covers a discussion of Jennifer’s career to date and status as an “unrepentant sparkle addict.” It also discusses her new Univision show with Marc Anthony called “Q’Viva: The Chosen,” which situates the formerly married couple as international talent hunters. The photoshoot really bugs though for a few reasons: (1) It’s ridiculous; (2) So much underboob. That’s one of my major pet peeves and the only reason why I sort of shuddered at Kate Upton’s Sports Illustrated cover. When my boobs start to escape like that, all I want to do is yank down my bra. Is underboob truly sexy or just gross?

“Q’Viva” is educational & entertaining: “There are so many differences in the Latin community. Someone from Mexico and someone from Puerto Rico have different foods, different traditions. There’s an education to be had. Even as I was going through the different countries, there were certain forms of music that I didn’t know about.”

On working with Marc Anthony: “I mean, we’re parents and friends first,” she says with a smidgen of exasperation. “That will be the thread that ties us together. I don’t know if people expect it to be negative (Of course they do, Jennifer!) just because the [intimate] relation- ship didn’t work out.” The professional relationship, however, is chugging lucratively along.

On her film failures: “You’re not going to hit the target or the bull’s-eye every time. That’s part of it. At the end of the day, I made those choices. I’ve been in the business now, I don’t want to say how many years. You have amazing moments of recognition and success. But at this point in my life, I try to take it all with a grain of salt.”

On her personality: “I’ve always felt like a tough girl from the Bronx. But I have a soft core. I can take a lot of punches and still keep going. I’ve been trained like a boxer to go 15 rounds.”

On the importance of being Latina: “It really defines you and makes you who you are. I tried to keep that close to my heart– what I learned growing up. It’s something that I love so much. When doing ‘Q’Viva,’ it was kind of reinforcing that, showing how important it is to me and staying connected to that and showing my kids what that’s all about. People realize the strength of the community because of the dollars and the numbers. They’ve always been trying to find a way to crack that because they see opportunity. They don’t know how to get in. But people were willing to listen and at the end of the day, as long as it transcends language to feeling, it doesn’t matter the ethnicity.”

On rebranding: “One of the greatest by-products of this particular time is this new introduction of Jennifer Lopez to a community that’s always known her but had misconceptions about her,” her manager, Benny Medina, told USA Today.

[From V Magazine]

I can appreciate that JLo’s drive pushes her to continue earning millions instead of fleeing into obscurity, but she’s wholly omnipresent these days. That was part of the reason that Gigli failed. Not only was it a very bad movie, but no one wanted to pay to watch Bennifer when they were already splashed on every tabloid cover. In fact, I think JLo’s new megasuccess an omen of things to come for her — this new phase won’t last forever either. Maybe she already knows that though.

Photos courtesy of V magazine

I guess we kind of missed out on covering some of the girl-drama that went down at the Oscars and some of the post-Oscar parties. I didn’t cover it mostly because I sometimes forget which girls dated the same dudes. Like, it didn’t occur to me that Cameron Diaz and Kate Hudson might still hate each other because Camy started dating Alex Rodriguez right after he dumped Hudson. Maybe I forgot about it because I just think, “Who cares that much about A-Rod, really?” That wasn’t the only girl-dramz involving Camy, though. Camy is currently grinding on P. Diddy. P. Diddy grinded on Jennifer Lopez more than a decade ago. Camy and a nipply Jennifer Lopez presented together and had an ass-off, which was – like Angelina’s leg – a dumb non-scandal that got blown out of proportion. Still, I guess we can try to make this really budget Uncool Bermuda Triangle happen:

When “American Idol” judge Jennifer Lopez — in yet another plunging and cleavage-revealing dress — was spotted introducing her new boyfriend Casper Smart to former flame Sean “Diddy” Combs at the Vanity Fair Oscar party, Smart, 24, appeared a bit uncomfortable. But confident Combs was later seen canoodling with his new gal pal Cameron Diaz at the bash, and joking around with Kate Hudson.

The hip-hop mogul — who jumped onboard as an executive producer of the documentary “Undefeated” earlier this month — told us he was delighted that the film had just won an Oscar.

“I’m just going to enjoy it,” said Combs. “I am really happy.” When we asked about his plans for partying into the night with Diaz, he continued the spontaneous tone, saying, “I’m going where the wind takes me.”

[From Page Six]

I hate that Diddy and Camy are all official now. I hate that they were seated so close to each other at the Oscars and that they were “together” at the VF party, like they’re all established now. I had high hopes that this Diddy thing was just a booty call for Cameron. But this girl’s man issues just keep growing and growing.

As for Jennifer introducing Diddy to Casper – I can’t even imagine. Who came out of that meeting looking worse? I have to say, Diddy might have come out of that introduction worlds ahead of Jennifer and Casper. Diddy was with Jennifer, and now he’s with another A-list actress, Cameron. Jennifer went from Diddy to a backup dancer, to Ben Affleck, to Marc Anthony, and then to another backup dancer. Diddy has plateau’d. Jennifer has lost ground.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Oooooh, Jennifer Lopez. She wore two Zhuhair Murad gowns last night, and I kind of think she should have switched them up. She wore the white beaded gown to the actual Oscars, and then she changed into the gorgeous blood-red Murad for the Vanity Fair party. The red one would have made an amazing statement on the Oscars red carpet, right? But instead we got J.Lo, with her hair pulled too tight, falling out of her hideously striped dress. Yes, you heard me. Everybody is debating whether or not J.Lo’s nip came out to play while she was presenting on stage with Camy Diaz. I don’t think it did – you can see video here. I think her white dress was just a shade too tight, and what people saw was the dress pinching her boobs, and there was a shadow effect. Just my opinion.

When Jennifer spoke to Tim Gunn, she told him: “I’ve always loved fashion since I was a little girl. I love playing dress up. Over the years… I grew up in the Bronx, my style was very kind of street and hip-hoppy when I first started out… I take that wherever I go. I’ve been exposed to so many beautiful things. I’ve evolved with that.”

Oh, and where was Casper Smart?!?! BOOOOooooooo!!!! I wanted to see Casper on the Oscar red carpet, but he was nowhere to be seen! It just goes to show you – Jennifer probably isn’t as loved-up with her facially-challenged boo as we think she is. She’s actually a little bit ashamed of her boyfriend. Although… Just Jared claims Casper was spotted at the Vanity Fair party with Jennifer. So he did get to leave the house, but he just didn’t get the photo op.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

We are about 55 hours away from seeing Casper Smart escort his girlfriend, Jennifer Lopez, down the Academy Awards red carpet. I’m actually excited! I mean, it’s going to be awful and hilarious, of course. That’s why I’m looking forward to it! I can’t wait to see how Jennifer grooms and styles Casper. I can’t wait to see her red-carpet “TRY” face, which usually includes parted lips, half-closed eyes and an expression of “I’m holding in a fart RIGHT NOW.” And Casper will have posing lessons too! Because everybody will want to see their body language, especially when they pose arm-in-arm together on the red carpet. His hand on her hip, her hand on his back, faces close together? Or will Jennifer give us her profile, with a half-turned face as Casper – as he has been trained – stares lovingly at her? It will be epic.

Anyway, Us Weekly has a little story in their print edition about J.Lo and Casper, and it was just cracking me up. These “sources” make it sound like Casper is a ballsy golddigger and Jennifer is just with him because he’s the only guy who asked her out.

People scoffed that Casper Smart was just a backup dancer when Jennifer Lopez chose him as her arm candy last November, but the diva saw something more.

“He had swagger, and the confidence to ask her out,” says a source close to Jennifer. And Smart, 24, knew how to seize the moment, says the pal.

“Who does she meet when she works all the time? Her dancers. It’s not like she’s meeting guys on JDate!”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

“It’s not like she’s meeting guys on JDate!” When did JDate become a punch line? I hear people using that Jewish dating site as a quip all the time. Is it funny because Jennifer isn’t Jewish, and she actually practices blood rituals with Santeria? And what would be so wrong if Jennifer stepped outside of her comfort zone of backup dancers and celebrities and actually dated someone suitable that she found online or something? Ugh. And I really hate the attribute of “swagger” – when did that become a thing? People say Justin Bieber has “swagger”. And now Casper? “Swagger” is not WHY you date someone (when you’re in your 40s).

Photos courtesy of WENN, Pacific Coast News.