Lately it seems to be trendy to wrack up DUIs and/or visits to rehab, but some celebs just aren’t having it. Rosie O’Donnell announced on her ever-so-useful blog that she’s given up alcohol all on her own, in an attempt to be healthier and lose weight… but she made a comment that makes it sound like she might be an alcoholic, or at least have some issues with it.

Rosie O’Donnell says she was boozing too much and has gone on the wagon. The moon-faced comic made the confession on her blog after telling one fan she’d shed pounds by giving up beer.

That prompted another fan to ask, “So, Rosie, alcoholic or not? Just spit it out! Don’t go all Star Jones on us here. What led to you stopping the beer? You’ll only help someone else.”

To which O’Donnell admitted: ” ‘Cause I was drinking too much, ’cause I didn’t want to any more, ’cause it is hard to lose weight when drinking, ’cause I can never have only one.”

[From Page Six]

Rosie also mentioned that laying off the sauce is “not easy,” and noted, “but I feel better.” I’ve always been a borderline teetotaler so I have no idea if it’s normal to “never have only one.” I could totally say that about chocolate, but then I would readily admit I’m a chocolate addict. I’m not sure if Rosie is implying that she’s an alcoholic or just saying she struggles with saying no. Rosie has admitted several times in the past that she’s not good at exercising self-restraint. If that’s still the case, it might be a better idea to consider Alcoholics Anonymous or something of that nature - though perhaps she already is involved with something.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s Rosie with Cyndi Lauper at the “True Colors“ after party at Studio 54 on June 8th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Bill Clinton has done many an inappropriate thing to a many a lady over the years. But who knew he could work his mojo on a lesbian? Well Bill, apparently. Rosie O’Donnell went off on the former prez/ladies man during a stand up act a few years ago, not knowing that Bill was apparently in the audience. You’d think someone would have mentioned that to her. Or that all the security would be hard to miss. But apparently not, because Rosie told the audience, “He disgusts me,” O’Donnell recalled saying at the casino show. “And I know I’m not supposed to say this because I’m a good Democrat, but I didn’t want to [talk] to him because he lied to me when he said, ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman,’ and then put the scarlet-letter [bleep]-job on her for the rest of her life . . . I still hate you!”

Well Bill, being the guy that he is, actually sent O’Donnell a card apologizing to her, and gave him her phone number.

The sapphic supernova, doing stand-up at the New York Comedy Festival Tuesday night, told the audience how Clinton sent her a card after she slammed him during a performance at the Mohegan Sun Casino Hotel five years ago, The Post’s Mandy Stadtmiller reports. When the corpulent comic called the phone number Clinton included with his note, Bubba himself picked up, she said. “My knees got weak. I was like, ‘Can I [bleep] you?’ No, I didn’t say it, but I felt it - I was like, ‘Whoa! Whoa!’ And he said, ‘I was at your show the other night, and I was sorry that you didn’t come over and say hello to me. And I know that you’re still harboring some hard feelings,’ ” O’Donnell related.

“And I said, ‘You know, listen, here’s the deal, dude. I’ve been disappointed by men my whole life. I loved JFK, my mother loved JFK, and you were the JFK to me. And you let me down, man. You killed me and that hurt me a lot, and when you hurt me, I don’t know, I didn’t expect that out of you and I thought you could do better for your wife, for the country and just in general.”

Clinton then worked his charm on O’Donnell. “He goes, ‘I’m sorry for all the men who ever hurt you, I’m sorry that I hurt you. Everything you’ve said to me, I’ve said to myself, and I hope one day you can forgive me, and I hope I can forgive me.’” Clinton’s mea culpa quickly had O’Donnell’s faucets opening up. “I’m hysterical crying,” she recalled.

[From the New York Post]

Man he’s good. Never let it be said that there’s a lady out there that Bill Clinton can’t bed. Seriously. Was that disrespectful to say? I don’t care, it’s true. If all men could harness whatever sexual magnetism it is that Bill Clinton has, women the world over would be rendered powerless. It’s a good thing it seems to be bestowed upon the relative few.

Rosie O’Donnell is said to have attempted to bury the hatchet with former fellow View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Rosie famously left The View after a shouting match with conservative Elisabeth in May. Rosie had posed the hypothetical question “who are the terrorists?” a few days prior after saying that 650,000 people were dead in Iraq. The news talk shows were all over that, and Rosie wanted Elisabeth to say if she really believed the claim they were making that Rosie called the troops terrorists. She posed a direct question to Elisabeth as to whether she thought that was true. Elisabeth never answered the question and just got loud while Rosie sat there kind of stunned and holding her ground.

I’m no Rosie fan, but I was on her side in that argument because I thought she handled it better. Hasselbeck later denied a feud with Rosie, saying they were friends and that “We are used to debating things there.”

Now Rosie is said to have sent Hasselbeck, who is due with her second child this month, a bunch of expensive baby gifts as a peace offering:

According to a source, Rosie dropped almost $600 at L.A. baby boutique Petit Trésor on Oct. 25 on gifts for Elisabeth, who is expecting her second child. “Rosie’s assistant called the store and ordered a $290 Lulla Smith white silk Moses basket and a $285 christening gown for the baby. “She asked for the gifts to be wrapped up and sent them to Elizabeth’s new address in Arizona.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, November 12, 2007]

That’s a nice gesture and although the news got out I doubt that Rosie did it for publicity. She probably just wants Hasselbeck to have a healthy, happy baby and not to dwell on what happened. Rosie blogged before this spat that she wasn’t going to fight with Elisabeth anymore because “there is a new life there - inside,” so maybe she feels guilty about what happened.

There was a story that we covered that Rosie was in talks for an MSNBC talkshow that would be up against Hanity & Colmes and Larry King Live, but that deal has apparently fallen through.

“We were close to a deal almost done,” O’Donnell wrote on her blog. Negotiations continued late into Wednesday, but it was clear by evening that there would be no deal and no show.

“My career as a pundit is over b4 it began,” O’Donnell wrote.

[From Reuters.com]

Rosie may have screwed herself out of the show. She revealed at a book fair over the weekend that it was in the works and may have ruined her chances by blabbing about it too early.

Rosie is shown below on 6/3/07 at the 2007 Book Expo in NY, thanks to PRPhotos.

Rosie O’Donnell’s last gig at “The View” didn’t exactly last a long time – nine months was about all she could take. Though as many who worked with her reported, it was about all anyone else could take of her, too. The opinionated comedian/actress/TV host clashed both on and off screen with many people she worked with – and supposedly not just over her political opinions. She was generally considered to be a bit of a self-righteous diva, and clashed with Barbara Walters over her behavior on several occasions. Current rumblings have O’Donnell considering signing a deal with prestigious MSNBC for her own show, which would go head to head with CNN’s “Larry King Live” and Fox’s “Hannity & Colmes.” That’s some pretty serious competition.

Even though much is being made of MSNBC’s ”left-leaning” slant in its nighttime programming, thanks to the constant President Bush-bashing from Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews and Dan Abrams, a few network insiders say the expected signing of Rosie O’Donnell by the cable network has even some staunch liberals at MSNBC a bit worried.

O’Donnell’s ”loose cannon” reputation, reinforced during her nine-month stint on ”The View,” apparently is a key stumbling block as the comedian-turned-TV talker negotiates with the network. Showcasing alternative political viewpoints to the conservative opinions espoused by Fox News has helped boost MSNBC’s recent ratings, ”but we still get nervous when we think about Rosie,” an MSNBC source told me Tuesday.

Yet, given the big ratings boost O’Donnell gave to ”The View” during her tenure there, MSNBC is definitely interested in snaring her, the source said, ”as long as we have certain controls in place.” As for O’Donnell, a source close to her says the outspoken personality thinks it’s all pretty moot. ”Everyone in America knows where I stand as a liberal Democrat who can’t stand the fact George Bush is president,” the O’Donnell friend quotes her as saying about the MSNBC gig.

[From the Chicago Sun Times]

There’s no official word on what kind of show O’Donnell would have; mostly news, interview, celebrity, political, etc. I’d think a mix, though much is being made of her celebrity connections. Certainly she could beat Larry King, who’s been out of the game for years. His show is generally good for humor’s sake, though that’s not what he presumably intended. O’Donnell would likely be good for ratings, and she’s certainly been known to stir up a controversy or two. I would hope that she’d be able to rise above some of the petty squabbles of the past if she wants to be taken seriously and have a show that will make a real impact.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Rosie at the 207 Book Expo in New York City. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Well it’s not much of a surprise, but ABC announced that Whoopi Goldberg will fill Rosie O’Donnell’s position as the moderator on “The View.” Whoopi makes a lot of sense in that position, as she is similar to Rosie, though she strikes me as someone who is less easily baited. Like O’Donnell, she’s also a known commodity, and very liberal.

“I have known Whoopi for years,’ Walters said in a statement released to ABCNews.com today. ‘She is brilliant, funny and irrepressible, and is an enormously popular and talented star. We are delighted that she is going to join the program as our moderator. This is going to be a great new chapter for ‘The View.’”

Goldberg, 51, has sat in as a guest host since O’Donnell’s departure. She joins Walters and current “View” panelists Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar.

“This is a big old thrill for me,” said Goldberg, who appeared with her new colleagues toward the end of the show. “The thing I’m looking forward to the most are the hot topics and everyone trying to get in at the same time.”

[From ABC News]

Whoopi has been an outspoken opponent of the Bush administration and the Iraq war, so we’ll obviously see some more fighting with Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Somehow I don’t think it’ll be quite as personal as the Rosie v. Elizabeth matches, but who knows. Rosie could be a little immature and sink to name calling and the like. I can’t see that coming from Whoopi. But anything could happen, and “The View” certainly likes to boost its ratings with fighting co-hosts.

Nothing was said of the other vacant position, so no one knows if they’ll fill it or leave it open. Technically it’s Star Jones’ position that’s still open. Meredith Viera and Star left at about the same time, after Rosie had already been slated to fill the moderator position, which was Meredith’s. There was a lot of talk that comedian Sherri Shepherd would fill the other position, but no other names were mentioned by Barbara Walters.

“With her household-name status and vocal criticisms of President Bush, Goldberg will likely give “The View” the star power and sound bites formerly supplied by O’Donnell. On today’s show, she hinted that like her predecessor, she won’t shy away from contentious topics, regardless of whether or not her co-hosts share her opinion.

“’I’m going to be a little meaner than normal,’ she said jokingly.

“’Just be yourself.’ Hasselbeck said.”

[From ABC News]

Hopefully the show will take a slightly more sophisticated route this next season. All of the drama, in-fighting, and diva-like behavior really detracted from the smart things the co-hosts had to say. I know Rosie’s feud with Donald Trump helped her career (and probably his too) but I think it came at the expense of some dignity, for all involved. With any luck this coming season will be a little more mature, and a little less bitchy. Not that there’s anything wrong with bitchy.

In spite of a failed bid to host “The Price is Right,” Rosie O’Donnell will return to television, on the FX show “Nip/Tuck.” She’ll reprise her role as Dawn Budge, a woman who has won the lottery and wants to use her money fix her body and her life. Oh, and has a bit of a crush on one of the doctors. Producers weren’t specific on the number of episodes, but did say she’d be on for “several.” They also left the possibility open that O’Donnell’s character might get her own spin-off show. “Nip/Tuck” creator and executive producer Ryan Murphy said, “‘The character was so instantly popular. We’ve spoken about (a spinoff), it’s an ongoing discussion.’”

Rosie also made some headlines last week on her annual R Families Vacations cruise. The cruise is an annual get away meant for gay and lesbian families, and is supposed to be a time to have fun and not be judged. O’Donnell raised some eyebrows when she went on yet another tirade against Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Donald Trump in front of an audience of 1500 people. The press had led us to believe that Rosie and Elizabeth had possibly mended fences, and if nothing else were going to be respectful towards one another. But Rosie dragged out a large poster of Hasselbeck over which she’d drawn devil horns, goatee, and pointed tail. According to an audience member, O’Donnell commented, “‘Her only f–king credit was Survivor. Come on!’” and “‘ “I can’t fight with pregnant people. Just go have your baby and have a nice life.’” Her comments directed at Donald Trump were a little more expected, and presented a lovely visual image. “‘Rosie she’d love to break into his apartment and rub her belly all over him.’” Man that would make me so happy.

Rosie also told TV Guide last week that she didn’t get the gig on “The Price is Right” because, “‘They thought I was too controversial to host the game show .. I just wanted to ‘gay it up.”” She had previously stated that she was offered the job but chose not to take it because she didn’t want to relocate her family to Los Angeles, where the show films.

I love Rosie, but she’s clearly itching for a fight. You know how sometimes you’re in a bad mood and you hope someone says something wrong so you can yell at them? No? Just me? Okay well anyway, that seems to be where Rosie’s at right now. I mean the Elizabeth Hasselbeck thing had completely died down. The Donald Trump thing had too… and if nothing else, don’t poke the beast. While the media reports that came in about what Rosie said on the cruise were rather vague, it just seems like it wasn’t the appropriate venue. It’s a cruise! Family fun? Check. Midnight buffet? Check. Angry middle-aged TV host? Absolutely, you couldn’t have a satisfying vacation without one.

Picture note by Celebitchy Rosie O’Donnell is shown in the header image on the True Colors tour on 6/30/07. Thanks to WENN for this picture.

This has got to be my favorite story of the week. I know the week’s only started, but I don’t think many things could beat this story, at least in terms of obviously fake planted crap. Supposedly, Ivanka Trump is being considered to replace Rosie O’Donnell on “The View.” Wouldn’t that just make Donald as happy as a little peach pie? The National Enquirer reports that Barbara Walters is seriously considering giving Ivanka the gig. Of course they also referred to her as a “hottie with brains,” so we’ll see how much truth is behind this. Of course if Barbara did give her the spot, it would certainly make for some interesting dynamics on the show. Would Donald still go on tirades? Would he go on Larry King and talk about how Ivanka is a “Big fat pig” or whatever else he called Rosie O’Donnell? Supposedly, this all comes back to Paris Hilton (who’s name we shall not mention of course).

“The National Enquirer reports that Barbara Walters wants to hire the “hottie with brains” to stick it to Paris Hilton and her parents for their shabby treatment of her when they were trying to sell the Paris post-prison interview.”

[From the New York Post]

What in the world do Paris Hilton and her family have to do with hiring Ivanka Trump? Do the Trumps and the Hiltons have some Capulet v. Montague/East Coast v. West Coast feud going on that I don’t know about? I feel like something was missing here.

I was wondering what would even qualify Ivanka to be on the show, but she’s actually more accomplished that I thought. According to Wikipedia, she is the vice president of Real Estate Development and Acquisitions at the Trump Organization. Okay we can chalk that up to nepotism. However she was accepted to Georgetown and transferred to the University of Pennsylvania and graduated magna cum laude from their prestigious Wharton School of Business. Ivanka also replaced Carolyn Kepcher as a primary boardroom judge starting in the sixth season “The Apprentice.” Whether due to nepotism or not, she has good credentials. It’ll be interesting to see if she ultimately becomes a candidate for the position.

Update by Celebitchy: This originated in Mike Walker’s column in The National Enquirer. Last week he printed an item that Paris Hilton was being considered for the open spot on The View! I thought it was such crap that I didn’t bother to print it. So when Jay wonders what Paris has to do with it, that’s the story. I doubt either one of those stories is true.

You might have thought the fire was out under the bubbling cauldron of The Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell feud, but according to Out magazine .. fuel is being added to the fire by freelance peace negotiator and former Mrs. Trump, Ivana

The war began weeks ago when Trump pardoned Miss USA, who had allegedly been indulging in some bad behavior, and Rosie questioned why Trump should be a moral compass for the country—it just got worse from there. Ivana says she had words for both Ro and The Donald. “I was very diplomatic and at the end of the day, I said, ‘You know, guys, just take the high road, it is so ridiculous,’” Ivana told AP Television.

So where was this second Camp David held … on what hallowed go round did Ivana gather these warring factions to broker a peace that will finally hold ? Will our children have a chance grow up in a world without Ro-Do conflict ?

The Answers: Nowhere at all … and not very likely … as she gave both Ro and Do this advice via her column in The National Enquirer. And she not only has advice … she has analysis

“Donald and Rosie, they’re getting fantastic ratings, they’re getting publicity, they’re really using it as a marketing tool, not because they are enemies, and I understand that only too well.”

Although it strikes me that if the analysis is true … then the advice was rubbish … Ivana you gotta pick a gear and drive in it … its either the high road or fantastic ratings. Wonder which side she’ll come down on.

American Idol is back in full force, and the best of the worst are paraded out and ridiculed for your gawking pleasure. The clueless, attention-seekers, and people who are a little bit touched wait days for the priviledge of being mocked by Simon and slurred at with pity by Paula. Randy usually waits to hear what Paula or Simon says and then repeats it, as if he’s playing the children’s game of the same name but doesn’t quite get the rules.

Judges are under fire for being exceptionally cruel to bad contestants this year. Simon called one kid who was a little slow a “bush baby,” saying “you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes.” The kid handled it really well, staying positive and telling Simon “that’s your opinion, you’re entitled to it.” The NY Times notes that the guy the fat guy, not this guy is mentally handicapped, because his old school biography lists him as participating in the Special Olympics.

Producers say people know what they’re in for because they pull this shit every season, and the viewers love it. Simon sort-of apologized in a later statement, saying “.. If he’s offended, then I apologize. I might never call anyone a bush baby again.”

Here’s another audition by a Utah computer programmer who takes himself too seriously:

My favorite comment on this video on YouTube was by akaso405, who said “How come nobody ever knows when they suck balls???”

Rosie O’Donnell added her enlightened commentary to the American Idol controversy, (link leads to video) saying “Isn’t that what America thinks is entertainment? To make fun of someone’s physical apperance, and when they leave the room, laugh hysterically at them? Three millionaires, one probably intoxicated?”

“Ever since they started making fun of that guy… William Hung… If you keep serving people crap and telling them that it’s a meal, they’re eventually going to think that it’s a meal.”

She has a point that it’s cruel. Joy Behar said “This is like the new freak show… there’s an appetite for this.” Rosie said that if they put on good singers and showed all the contestants who almost made it that people would watch it too. Maybe they’re aren’t enough decent singers that don’t get picked in the first round, though.

While they shouldn’t make fun of the way people look, it seems well within their rights to make fun of the way they sing, since it’s a singing contest and all. There is such a thing as junk food entertainment. We proudly serve it, and think it’s a metaphor Rosie should be able to understand.

Viewers are eating it up. This season’s premiere was the most-watched show on Fox in six years, with over 37 million people tuning in.

Header picture from ONTD

Update: thanks to everyone who pointed out that it was the fat guy, not this bush baby guy, who is listed as mentally handicapped on his school bio.

It really feels like a slow news week. I usually don’t mention it, because most of the time it has more to do with me getting bored with the celebrities rather than the celebrities being boring, but it just seems like it’s dragging this week. People are still talking about Trump and Rosie’s dumb feud that should have been over two weeks ago, and into which Barbara Walters has been dragged. There’s not anything amazing happening so I’ll grudgingly cover it.

Barbara Walters said on the air that she never said anything about Rosie to Trump, and that she and Rosie are fine. There are stories in the gossip rags today saying nasty Rosie went off on Barbara for talking smack about her to Trump behind her back and then not contacting her at all about the whole public argument while Barbara was on vacation.

Now Trump is trying to show that he really did hear Barbara talking shit about Rosie, and he wrote this condescending letter to Rosie saying Barbara even contacted him afterwards. He claims Barbara told him that “working with [Rosie] is like living in hell,” and that she told him not to get into the mud with the pigs. I think that’s just an old saying that means don’t get into a big put-down match and let people drag you down to their level, but it sounds particularly bad when applied to Rosie:

Dear Rosie:
I hope you had a wonderful vacation with your wife - you needed the rest.

An article in todays New York Post indicates that you blew up at Barbara Walters for being a “liar.” Actually, I don’t blame you, but in fact she lied to both of us! After your maniacal and foolish rant against me two weeks ago, Barbara called me from her vacation (I did not call her) in order to apologize for your behavior. She very much wanted me to go on the show as soon as she got back so that she could “patch things up” (I said no). To be exact, she said that “working with her is like living in hell” and, more pointedly, “Donald, never get into the mud with pigs” and, “don’t worry, she won’t be here for long.” Barbara knows exactly what she told me over the phone and she has to live with it. Perhaps that’s why her initial statement was so mild!

In another incident, when I saw her eating at Le Cirque about two months ago and asked how “Rosie was doing,” she sarcastically rolled her eyes and said “Donald, do you have to ruin my meal.”

In any even, you have good reason to be angry. Please give my warmest regards to Kelly!

He also wrote a p.s. telling her to not be so self destructive, but I didn’t feel like typing that all up. You can read the letter on TMZ.

Now, I just read that the new Apprentice in L.A. is tanking in the ratings. It seems like that, and Trump’s fragile male ego are his reasons for continuing this stupid and pointless argument. It sure does keep him in the papers, and he can’t stand it that Barbara is making him out to be a liar.

The View has issued a statement saying that the incident Page Six reported on that Donald is referring to here, in which Rosie is said to have yelled at Barbara and called her a “fucking liar,” was “just a squabble” and now they’re over it. We are so over it too, we really are.