Chris Rock just filed for divorce from his wife of ten years, Malaak Compton-Rock. The couple has two daughters, Lola, 4, and Zahra, 2. Malaak is the founder of Styleworks, a non-profit group which provides salon services and business clothing for women moving from welfare back into the work force.

This wasn’t surprising to me, because I saw Chris Rock tell Marilyn Manson not to get married two years ago when they both appeared together on The Graham Norton Effect on Comedy Central.

Chris comes in at 3:30 in the video clip below. When host Graham Norton says “You have a theory about pussy,” Rock says “Well I’m married, and married men… well Marilyn’s getting married, and this happens a lot, and don’t do it man. I don’t care. I saw her out there. She looks good. She can’t wait to not fuck you. She can’t wait! I know you think you’re going to have a real ‘it’ Marilyn Manson marriage. hahaha”

Later on in the clip Norton shows erotic cookies that are kind of realistic and might not be SFW. It is pretty damn funny though. I used to love this show:

I know Rock was just joking around, but he seemed rather serious about it, and why would he say that unless he wasn’t getting any at home?

This isn’t the first time Rock has joked around about the perils of marriage. His comedy skits are rather revealing:

Chris Rock: When it’s time to get a divorce, women got it made. You go to court, start talkin’ that sh?t. “I’m used to this, I’m used to that. I’m accustomed to this.” What the fuck is accustomed? Whats that got to do with shit? You go to a restaurant, you accustomed to eatin’. You leave, you ain’t eatin’ no more. They don’t owe you a steak. What about what the man’s used to? It might not be money, but during the course of a relationship, a man grows accustomed to a few things. I would love to see a man go to court and say, “Your honor, check this out. I’m accustomed to fuckin’ her four times a week. Now I feel I should be able to fuck her at least twice a week. I mean she can have the alimony, but I want some pussy payments.”

Chris Rock: Everybody need a pre-nup. People think you gotta be rich to get a pre-nup. You got twenty million and your wife wants ten, big deal, you ain’t starvin’! But if you got thirty thousand, and your wife wants fifteen, you might have to kill her!

Chris Rock: So you gotta think about OJ’s situation. 25,000 a month, another man drivin’ his car, fuckin’ his wife, and a house he’s still payin’ a mortgage on. Now, I’m not sayin’ he should have killed her, but I understand.

Scarlett Johansson is one of favorite actresses. She’s humorous and witty, and manages to look gorgeous without being pompous. She doesn’t go out partying when she could get into any restaurant, club, or exclusive event in the world.

In a recent interview with InStyle magazine, Scarlett says that it’s “weird” knowing all the details of her fellow celebrities’ lives, and that she prefers to keep hers private:

The 21-year old star said that knowing ‘everything’ about another celeb’s life was “weird”, and that she was better off staying in the dark.

“I can’t stand those articles where people spill their life story. After a while, I feel like I know more about them than their best friend does - and that’s weird. It’s better when you don’t know everything,” InStyle quoted her, as saying.

Johansson insists that revealing intimate details also has a negative effect on the stars’ professional careers, for people then find it even more difficult to believe in their on-screen personas.

“People are having a harder time buying into the glamour of movies. They want reality TV and tabloids - that escapism into other people’s personal business,” she added.

Scarlett obviously knows how to keep people interested in her, and has wisely chosen a low-key lifestyle.

Here she is with Hugh Jackman at “The Prestige” premiere in London on November 5. [via] Scarlett and Hugh play rival magicians in the film. I don’t really like the way her dress gathers at her midsection, although it does make her look stacked.

Update Scarlett has confirmed that she’s making that crazy album of Tom Waits covers, saying “it’s coming along…” and “I just love his music.”

Just like the video of Matt Damon telling Jimmy Kimmel to f off, some people are saying Kanye West’s ego-fueled trip out at the MTV Europe awards was staged. I’m not so sure. Everyone’s reporting it like it was real, and West is known for his temper and ego.

West crashed the stage Thursday in Copenhagen when the best video award was being presented to Justice and Simian for ”We Are Your Friends.”

In a tirade riddled with expletives, West said he should have won the prize for his video ”Touch the Sky,” because it ”cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it. I was jumping across canyons.”

”If I don’t win, the awards show loses credibility,” West said.

The rapper grabbed the best hip-hop award earlier in the night in a star-studded event hosted by Justin Timberlake in the Danish capital.

West has a particular affinity for the ”Touch the Sky” video. In an interview with the Associated Press in August, he expressed his displeasure that the clip, an elaborate Evel Knievel spoof, didn’t get nominated for an MTV video music award.

”It didn’t get any nominations, but it’s one of the most memorable videos of the year for me,” he said then.

It’s also not the first time he’s had an awards-show meltdown. At the 2004 American Music Awards, West bitterly complained backstage that he was robbed when he didn’t win a trophy.

Here’s the video. Sorry your video cost a million to make, Kanye. You’re going to lose a hell of a lot more in future revenue by blowing your cool and your reputation.

In a story that sounds like a PR stunt, ABC’s pompous Bachelor reportedly found an envelope in a NY city taxicab containing $50,000 worth of jewels labeled “Salma Hayek.” Hayek’s incompetent assistant accidentally left the borrowed jewelry in the cab and The Bachelor was the next person to hail it. He called up the ABC studios, eager to return the goods:

According to the website IMDB, Hayek is a lucky girl. The celebrity accidentally left some jewellery on the back seat of a New York taxi cab. The Frida star estimates the value of the gems to be at nearly $50,000.

Hayek was planning to wear the pieces to a benefit party, but her assistant left the jewels in the car. Lorenzo Borghese, the star of The Bachelor, happened to be the next customer for the cab, and returned the jewels.

Hayek, 40, explained, “The guy that’s like the prince in The Bachelor gets in the cab right after, somewhere random in New York and sees an envelope that says ‘Salma Hayek’. He called (TV network) ABC and said, ‘I think Salma Hayek just lost $50,000 worth of jewelry,’ and they gave it back. Isn’t that fantastic?”

It’s a good thing the writing on the envelope wasn’t in Italian, or The Bachelor would have had to call someone to translate it for him.

Hayek is seen at the AFI Film Fest last Thursday night with Penelope Cruz and Eva Mendes. Cruz was honored by the film festival for her 15 year career as an actress. Pictures [via]

Madonna says she could have gone all-out for charity like her nemesis, the younger, prettier more fertile Angelina Jolie, but instead she decided to just go to an impoverished nation for a couple of weeks, set up orphanage fronts for her cult religion and go home with a baby with a family. That way, she could maximize her publicity potential instead of wasting all that time like Angelina does:

In the interview [in Time] on newsstands Monday, the reporter asked Madonna about the perception that she’s “jumping on a bandwagon” by adopting an African orphan. The singer replied, “Look, I could have joined the U.N. and become an ambassador and visited various countries and just kind of showed up and smiled and looked concerned. But that’s not getting to the root of the problem – and by the way, neither is building orphan care centers and giving people food and medicine.”

Hmmm…which U.N. ambassador who is famous for visiting various countries and building orphan centres could Madge possibly be referring to? As if we needed further proof that she was setting her sights on Jolie, Madonna added, “I’m not interested in going in there like a dilettante and being an idiot and going ‘Ok, I’m going to build 10 orphanages and I’ll see you guys later!’”

Me-ow! We sense a ‘my orphan is cuter than your orphan’ battle in the near future.

Madonna said on Oprah that she hadn’t even met Angelina when she was questioned about whether she was following Angelina’s adoption lead.

Angelina is currently visiting refugees in India and speaking with government officials instead of doing the exhaustive talk show circuit, which is like so more charitable, right Madonna? On Saturday Angelina visited refugee camps in Dehli and on Sunday she met with the Indian Minister of State for External Affairs Anand Sharma in Hyderabad. Brad Pitt is currently in Los Angeles for the premiere of “Babel.”

Thanks to DListed for the Madonna story and some pictures and Mollygood for the high res versions of Angelina at the refugee camp.

I’m going to try to do links during the day too, so this isn’t all for today, just a slight change in format.

- Jennifer Garner goes food shopping with Violet [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Jennifer Garner gets a parking ticket [ICYDK]
- Shanna Moakler has a divorce party complete with a cake featuring a murdered groom [Mollygood]
- Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett at the Babel premiere [PopSugar]
- Patrick Dempsey may have beat his first wife, but what interests me is the fact that she seems older than his mom must be [Celebslam]
- Madonna is a Jew for Jesus [Cult News]
- Loni Anderson and Tori Spelling buttaface lesbian sex fantasy [Bastardly]
- Is there a Scarlet Johansson sex blowjob tape?! [Derek Hail]
- Nasty picture of Paris tongue kissing Travis Barker, which is apparently how they greet [DListed]
- God hates Haggs [Best Week Ever]
- Lindsay Lohan is dating Diana Ross’ son [Celeb News Wire]
- Borat’s cousin [CityRag]
- The “Sex and the City” movie is back on! [yeeeah]
- Busta Rhymes Busted for Talking on Cell Phone While Being Black with His Hat Real Low [Metadish]
- Cameron Diaz in W Magazine [Haute Gossip]
- Gwen Stefani releases a bunch of dolls that all look like her [popbytes]
- David Letterman and his son [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

Vanity Fair might have thought that some pictures of Brad Pitt in his boxers wearing tube socks trumped Borat’s green banana hammock, but America doesn’t agree. Borat’s Cultural Learnings landed the top spot at the box office this weekend with a $26.4 million take. The movie also has an astonishing 96% critics aggregate rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s said to be hilarious, and a good time for everyone:

“Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan,” 20th Century Fox’s big-screen incarnation of Cohen’s Kazakh journalist from “Da Ali G Show,” took in $26.4 million over opening weekend, according to studio estimates Sunday.

“This picture was playing to full houses,” said Bruce Snyder, head of distribution at 20th Century Fox. “The planets aligned, the moons aligned, the stars aligned, and everything came together perfectly for us on this weekend.”

Box-office analysts had expected Disney’s “The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause,” with Tim Allen returning as St. Nicholas, to win the weekend. The movie opened at No. 2 with $20 million, followed by the Paramount-DreamWorks animated comedy “Flushed Away” in third place with $19.1 million.

With great Internet buzz and a built-in following from “Da Ali G Show,” “Borat” succeeded where another cyber-sensation, “Snakes on a Plane,” failed. “Snakes on a Plane” opened last summer to modest crowds after months of Internet hoopla.

The raucous, raunchy “Borat” follows the adventures of British comedian Cohen’s TV journalist from Kazakhstan in a blend of fiction and improvised comic encounters as he travels the United States, meets and mocks Americans and reports back to his home country on his findings.

“It is what you go to the theater for,” said Hutch Parker, the studio’s head of production. “You get that infectious, outrageous, interactive experience. There are people yelling at the screen, there are cheers. It literally plays like a Rolling Stones concert.“

Not all Americans are happy with Borat’s goofy antics. A southern TV producer who unwittingly interviewed Borat, making for a hilarious segment of the film, has been fired for falling prey to his scam. Sacha Baron Cohen, whose alter egos are the Kazakstani reporter Borat, the British chav Ali G, and the gay Austrian fashion show presenter Brüno, uses a front organization and a secretary to book his interviews. Once he’s in there, it’s kind of hard to kick him out.

Thanks to Digg for these stories.

Perez Hilton has one less reason to blog furiously in a misguided attempt to out every semi-closeted Hollywood star. Right after Perez scrawled over some pictures of Harris with a hot guy that is claimed to be his long term boyfriend, Harris came out to People magazine. This is in spite of a statement by Harris’ PR person at the beginning of this month that he’s “not of that persuasion.”

While I agree that Evangelical Christians preaching against the “evils” of a “homosexual lifestyle” should be outed, and politicians who do their best to make sure that gay people are denied basic rights should be outed, I’m not sure it’s my business which of the people who entertain me are gay. I mean, I’m kind of naive about this because I don’t think it’s a big deal, but isn’t it someone’s human right to decide if they’re going to come out or not? It seems nasty to call people gay and out them unwillingly. It’s not an easy to decision to come out and many people are still homophobic and ignorant about it. If someone is not ready, why jeopardize their career? OTOH, if more people come out then it won’t be as big of a deal to be a public gay person. It’s just everyone’s right to decide when they’re going to say something about it.

Good for Harris for stepping up to the plate and clearing up the rumors.

The public eye has always been kind to me, and until recently I have been able to live a pretty normal life. Now it seems there is speculation and interest in my private life and relationships.

“So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love.”

Victoria and David Beckham’s middle son, five year-old Romeo, suffers from the seizure disorder epilepsy, which can be triggered by the constant flash of the paparrazi’s cameras that follow the couple:

The world’s most-photographed celebrity family are desperate to protect little Romeo from fans and paparazzi eager to get a snap.

The lad, who turned four just five weeks ago, has been warned to avoid flashing lights known to cause potentially-fatal seizures.

The frightened youngster reacted violently after being photographed at Heathrow last Saturday as he returned to Britain from Madrid with Posh and brothers Brooklyn, seven, and Cruz, one.

Initially he shielded his eyes against the flashes as his mother pushed him through the terminal building in his buggy and out to a waiting car.

He then started screaming in terror and lashing out with his legs as one photographer pressed his camera inside the car and started flashing.

Only then did horrified Posh, 32, reveal the truth about brave Romeo’s dangerous condition.

She pulled her blond-headed son to her, shielded him from the lights and yelled: “Leave him alone.

“He’s got epilepsy. All that flashing will start an epileptic fit. You can’t do that!”

Kevin Smith — owner of Splash news, the agency that took the shot —said: “No picture is worth putting a child’s life in danger.

“Now that we know Romeo has epilepsy I will not be authorising any of my photographers to take flash pictures of him. I think this is absolutely the right thing to do and I hope other agencies follow suit.”

And we at the News of the World are only printing the shocking picture — taken BEFORE the facts were known — to persuade fans and the world’s press to act responsibly.

The frightening incident came soon after specialists told the couple that Romeo’s condition was more serious than first feared and that he had epilepsy.

Romeo has endured a series of frightening fits and has been rushed to hospital four times in three years.

Intially it was thought his attacks were simply febrile convulsions, common in young children running a high temperature.

But when the fits continued with no clear explanation he was tested for epilepsy, which has now been confirmed.

A close friend of Posh and Real Madrid star Becks said: “They have told friends the situation. While it’s heartbreaking, he is being brave.

“They are devastated — worried sick about Romeo. He is on medication to control the seizures but obviously things like flashing lights can trigger one at any time.

My son needs dental surgery as something happened when I was pregnant, it’s unknown exactly what, and the top four tooth buds did not calcify properly. He needs to get those four teeth taken out and maybe a bridge put in. That is why I had to take some time off last week to consult with dentists.

Anyway this is the only thing wrong with my two year-old son as far as we know and I keep telling my husband to be grateful that he has excellent health and is so smart and happy. I can’t imagine dealing with a chronic health problem with my child and my heart goes out to Victoria and David. They may be richer than most of the planet, but they still have to deal with heartbreak. Hopefully Romeo’s seizures are under control and now that the word is out his health won’t be jeopardized by flashes going off in the future.

All that frantic PR work by Tom and Katie seems to have paid off, because Tom has just been named head of United Artists film studio. He inked a deal that will gives him and partner Paul Wagner complete control over production at UA, along with giving him the freedom to star in films put out by other studios if they’ll have him:

The sweet deal gives the pair — whose film productions include the Mission:Impossible movies, War of the Worlds, and The Last Samurai — complete control of the studio’s production slate, expected to be about four films a year, and allows Cruise to appear in films from other studios. Wagner will rule the roost as chief executive of the storied company, owned since 1981 by MGM but founded in 1919 as a haven for artistes by D.W. Griffith and actors Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickford, and Douglas Fairbanks.

Cruise and Wagner Cruise hit biz-bottom in August when his and Wagner’s 14-year producing deal with Paramount was not renewed by the studio. Sumner Redstone, chairman of Paramount parent company Viacom Inc., publicly blamed Cruise’s bizarre behavior — his unhinged love declarations for Katie Holmes on Oprah and elsewhere, his dogmatic defense of the more contentious aspects of Scientology, in particular the wholesale rejection of psychiatry and medication — for suppressing public enthusiasm for their Mission:Impossible III film, a “disappointment” at the box office, even though it generated over $390 million worldwide.

“As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal,” Redstone told the Wall Street Journal. “His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount.”

Putting it even more bluntly, Hollywood legend Lauren Bacall slammed Cruise’s behavior in an ‘05 Time magazine interview. “His whole behavior is so shocking. It’s inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it’s kind of a sickness,” she said.

Cruise and Wagner 2 Apparently UA/MGM felt otherwise. “There is a complete alignment of interests in this deal,” MGM chief operating officer Rick Sands told the AP today. “They are equity owners in the company and they share with us in the upside.”

Good for him I guess. I’m going to mention this as an aside instead of running a separate story about it, but I spent a week e-mailing with a guy who claims to be “Big Red,” the male hooker that supposedly had a rather tame gay wrestling romp with Tom in the late 90s. The guy didn’t tell me his story and I kept e-mailing with him back and forth, hoping that he would write something I could publish.

He claimed that the story told by another guy, Barresi that we published here was inaccurate, and that it didn’t go down like it was claimed, but the guy wasted my time and didn’t give any details. Here’s the relevant part of our e-mail exchange. Again, I cannot verify that this is the person he claims to be or that this is anything more than a person who strung me along via e-mail for a week, but here’s what he said:

Segment of one e-mail toward the end of our exchange: I just do not think the story I have to tell is what you are looking for but I will think about it.

Another e-mail: I am actually looking to build Tom Cruise up not break him down

Last one I received: I’m not getting a good vibe from this at the moment - - I think I will wait and I may neveer publish the real story - - afterall, I believe in Karma and Barresi will have to deal with his.

It sounds like whatever happened, it was even less sensational than was claimed, at least according to this person who contacted me and got my hopes up about running this big exclusive. (I even contacted a lawyer and a cult expert about how to proceed, which may be why he got a bad vibe. You can’t be too careful with the c0s.) This guy claims to live in Europe now. The book by Barresi says that he left the states after the news of his supposed romp with Cruise got out, but I can’t be certain what’s true at this point. Tom Cruise is weird and is involved in a harmful freaky cult, but whether he actually had a gay wrestling session is up to question.

Gee, guess that absolves him of all the gay rumors so he’s definitely fit enough to run a studio. Look - he even reproduced and he’s getting married! There are photos of his baby in Vanity Fair and everything.

Here are Tom and Kate at Connor’s soccer game on 11/5. That’s what the photo credit says but it looks like they were taken on two separate days as Tom is wearing a different shirt and got a much-needed haircut in the interim. Katie is wearing the same outfit though so maybe it’s just the angle and Tom changed his shirt. Thanks to KatieHolmes.com for these pictures.