Ah, Rihanna. I have to admit, this is my style. If I looked like Rihanna, or had that kind of slim, small-busted, model-y figure, I would wear dresses like this all of the time. I love the simplicity of it. I love that it’s sexy but not in-your-face. I love that it’s also one of the classier and most elegant things Rihanna has ever worn. Allegedly, she worked with Armani to create this dress, which I find hard to believe. I mean, she’s the face of Armani, and obviously they want to please her. But I don’t believe Armani didn’t have a very similar dress in their archives, you know? I even like Rihanna’s blonde hair, but only in comparison to how bad her hair has been in the past. This is a really great look for her, and I hope it stays for a while.

As for Rihanna’s performances… I don’t even know. First she “sang” her own song, “We Found Love” – but as was made clear very quickly, she was lip-syncing. Did you notice that? She didn’t have the mic to her mouth at several points and you could still hear the vocals. After that, she changed mics I guess, and she joined Chris Martin for a simple version of “Princess of China”. You can really hear the difference between Rihanna’s voice live on that song versus her pre-recorded voice on “We Found Love”. Now, I thought Coldplay’s performance of “Paradise” was really, really good. Here’s the video of all of it:

21221225635 by YardieGoals

Right? Why go to the Grammys if you’re not going to actually SING your own song? And those booty shorts looked super-uncomfortable. Like, that cameltoe was painful.

And here are some other pics – I’m only putting up these photos of Adam Levine and his girlfriend Anne V because her dress is sort of similar to Rihanna’s Armani. I think Anne’s biscuit-grazer dress is a version of the Anthony Vaccarello one Gwyneth Paltrow wore on the cover of the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar, correct? Anne V and Adam were reportedly having problems a few weeks ago, but I guess they’re still together. Good for them, I guess.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Is it okay if I say that I’ve always considered Adam Levine rather douchey? I can remember seeing an interview with him years ago, when Maroon 5 just released their debut album, and in the interview he just seemed so smarmy and full of himself. That general air of douchebaggery has always stuck with him in my mind… but I’ll admit when I’m wrong. This isn’t really one of those times, though. I just read Adam’s cover interview in Out Magazine (full piece here), and while there’s still something rather smarmy about him, I have to admit, there is another dimension to him. At times he almost seems… sweet? No, it can’t be. Here are some highlights:

Working on The Voice: “I talk about it in a very heavy way, but it’s definitely had a pretty profound impact on my life,” he says. “That show’s become a part of me. Being in a position where you can help these people out and — of course I get paid, and of course it’s good for my career as well. But there’s a lot of real talent, and it makes me excited to know I’m part of that.”

Adam on his brief moments of homoeroticism: Levine has a high, nimble voice and a light, loose-limbed step, but other than a brief kilt-wearing, John Mayer–kissing phase (they go way back — Mayer took Maroon 5 on one of their first big tours), he’s hardly the queerest performer in mainstream music today. “There’s no way to hide my straightness,” he says, “but if people didn’t think there was a small chance I was gay, then I wouldn’t be doing my job very well. Look at the best ones, guys whose sexuality was always questioned. Bowie. Jagger. Freddie Mercury. I wouldn’t be the front man of a band if that question hadn’t come up at some point.”

On nakedness, sexuality: “I just love being as naked as possible all the time — it feels really natural to me. I’m extremely comfortable in my sexuality, so I can think, Oh, that’s a good-looking dude. Acknowledging that someone’s attractive and wanting to f-ck a dude are two different things. With a lot of guys who are hypersexual, it comes from some sort of disdain or dislike — they’re guys who love getting laid but don’t really respect women. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been totally promiscuous and slutty in my lifetime, because I have.”

He grew up in a liberal household, and his younger brother is gay: Levine, 32, grew up in a liberal Los Angeles home — his parents both went to Berkeley — but it wasn’t his own sexuality that defined his open-minded beliefs. It was his younger brother’s. “I can single-handedly dispel any ideas that sexuality is acquired,” he says, laughing. “Trust me, you’re born with it. My brother is gay, and we knew when he was two. We all knew.” Instead of a family freak-out, the Levines doubled down. “We all really wanted to provide some cushion for him and constantly let him know that it’s OK,” Levine says. “A lot of people don’t want their kid to be gay and will fight it at all costs. But I’ve got news for you—it’s a losing f-cking battle. The more you fight it, the more f-cked-up your kid’s gonna be. You’ve just gotta embrace it from the beginning. That’s the only way to deal with it as a family. Otherwise, you’re just screwing yourself over, and you’re gonna make your kid miserable.”

It Gets Better and Perez Hilton: The singer signed on early to the It Gets Better Project. “High school f-cking sucked,” he says in the clip, “but if you can get through it, there’s a whole world that exists beyond people treating you badly.” His participation was motivated as much by his own experiences with gossip. “Perez [Hilton] asked me to do it,” he says. “I found it strange that one of the biggest bullies on Earth is asking me. I was really not a fan of his. I thought he was part of the problem. In doing this, I was hoping for a change in him, and I saw one. The guy has changed his tune quite a bit. I respect that.”

Homophobia versus racism: “I’m realistic about the world, but I do have a very sunny perspective on things,” he says. “When the ‘F word’ and the ‘N word’ are equally taboo, when you can’t just walk around saying that word — which you can, to be brutally honest — that’ll be when it’s really real. Homophobia and racism are very different and have a very different history behind them. But for some reason, we’re a little bit behind with homosexuality. The fact that gay marriage isn’t legal everywhere at this point is a joke. But there are things now that you never thought would have existed, so I think that we’re kind of in good shape.”

On American Idol forcing gay contestants to stay in the closet: “What’s always pissed me off about Idol is wanting to mask that, for that to go unspoken. C’mon. You can’t be publicly gay? At this point? On a singing competition? Give me a break. You can’t hide basic components of these people’s lives. The fact that The Voice didn’t have any qualms about being completely open about it is a great thing.”

The Voice is the best: He acknowledges that the music industry may still have a double standard for gay artists but says The Voice can help correct that. “It’s a great show because it doesn’t alienate anybody. If you’re a talented person, and you want a career, and you’re trying to join an extremely intimidating and also completely dismantled industry — skip all that other bullsh-t, and go for what can be immediately effective.”

[From Out Magazine]

Finding out that he came from a super-liberal family made sense to me – his parents must be hippies, and they must have focused so much on raising self-confident kids. Perhaps I read Adam’s self-confidence as douchey arrogance. And for that, I was wrong…?

I did roll my eyes at the part about how he’s naked all of the time and all of the stuff about his sexuality. I mean, I’ve seen his videos. He’s basically making mini-(softcore) pornos with his girlfriend, who is the requisite long-limbed model type. As if you had any doubt that he’s straight!

Photos courtesy of Out Magazine.

Here’s a story in the NY Post that sounds very likely to be true, given all we’ve heard from Christina Aguilera to date. Apparently Aguilera is behaving like a drunken diva on the set of The Voice, and is getting into bickering fights with Adam Levine on camera while refusing to talk to any of her fellow judges when the cameras aren’t on. What’s more is that she rolls with a huge entourage, gets paid about triple an episode more than the other judges, and is late constantly. Again, this is typical behavior from XTina the narcissist who is never personally responsible for anything she does, has an excuse for everything, and blames her every mistake on other people paying attention to her. She’s going to lift herself up from that background of domestic abuse she brings up in every single interview and the horrible nasty press that drags her down. We just need to let her be Christina and join all the other sycophants and enablers that surround her like an overpaid bubble of yes men. Why can’t we just understand that no one ever says “no” to her?

Tensions are bubbling backstage on NBC’s hit “The Voice” between Christina Aguilera and rival judge Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine.

Sources tell Page Six fellow judges Levine and Blake Shelton have formed an alliance against Aguilera, whose much bigger paycheck, attention-stealing diva stunts and doting makeup team have rubbed the guys the wrong way.

Low-key Levine can’t grasp why Aguilera, who seems to get on a little better with Cee Lo Green, is being paid $225,000 per episode, in comparison to their $75,000 rate, and has a huge entourage, including two hair and makeup people, a producer and an assistant.

“They are all so annoyed by her,” a source told us. “Every time she walks away with her entourage, they talk about her behind her back. She holds people up and never apologizes.”

While Aguilera is the most vocal on the show, sources say she won’t speak to the other judges during commercial breaks.

“When the cameras are rolling, she literally won’t shut up,” an insider told us. “It is all about her.”

The production team is also playing into the rift — Aguilera’s supporters wear “Team Christina” T-shirts on the Studio City set.

Despite the differences, another source said the judges appeared to be getting along after the show Tuesday night at a bash thrown by Shelton and Miranda Lambert, at which Aguilera was still wearing her “Team Christina” shirt.

We hear that despite the disagreements, Aguilera and Levine are working together and recently recorded a track that will be released Tuesday.

[From The NY Post]

As many of you mentioned in our last story on XTina’s Voice gig, she’s revealing what a petty person she is with every episode basically. I’ve only seen a few episodes of The Voice, and she’s come across as superficial and self centered, and she often picks fights with Adam. She isn’t terrible, though, probably because no one is calling her on her sh*t. She’s thinks the star, but right now she’s just a (very talented) singer whose last CD tanked, whose tour got canceled, and who is hanging on to her new gig on a competition reality show by the skin of her teeth. Do you think she’s going to get hired for more jobs, or even hold on to this one, if that’s the way she treats her coworkers?

Christina is shown on 6/3/11. Credit: Fame and Pacific Coast News

What’s the general opinion on Maroon 5’s front-man Adam Levine? My opinion: I think he’s a douche. A douche with a great voice, but a douche none the less. I’ve just seen one too many interviews where he just seemed so full of himself and like he thinks he’s God’s gift to music and women and the world. If it took it down a notch, he might actually be charming. Anyway, Adam Levine is interviewed in the new Out Magazine (full piece here), and Adam talks candidly about “one of his oldest friends,” Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah… they’re friends. What the hell? Anyway, Adam took it upon himself to defend his oldest friend’s heterosexuality:

Out Magazine: You’ve also gotten a lot of attention for hanging out with Jake Gyllenhaal.
Levine: Will everyone stop thinking that dude is gay? Seriously guys. How immature is it of the media to perceive this guy — it has to be because of Brokeback, right? I’ve known this dude forever. He’s one of my oldest friends, and it’s very weird that they have this — it’s very immature and infantile the way they treat his whole situation. If him hanging out with his bros means he’s gay, it’s like further perpetuating that weird homophobia that exists in our culture, which is just stupid. So, yeah, he’s my buddy. I f-ckin’ love the guy.

[From Out Magazine]

Sure. Okay…? That passage literally came out of nowhere. Yes, he was asked about Jake, but he was not asked about Jake’s sexuality. It would be like, “Hey do you read Celebitchy?” and I would reply, “Yes, Celebitchy is my friend, one of my closest friends and I can’t believe everyone says she’s GAY. Celebitchy and GAY. She is so not GAY GAY GAY.” Does the douche protest too much? Eh. I don’t think Jake is gay, as I’ve said before. I think he’s straight and I think he’s totally f-cking vanilla.

But you know who Levine reminds me of in this interview? John Mayer. Seriously. And I know Mayer and Maroon 5 went on tour together and Mayer and Levine have some kind of beef and they both dated Jessica Simpson (true story), but they are two peas in a pod, birds of a feather, etc. Here are some other Mayer-esque gems:

So many of the articles I read while doing research on you mentioned how attractive you are. But some of the articles argued that your good looks might be doing the band a disservice…
Yeah.

When asked if he considers himself a sex symbol:
“I don’t know. It’s weird. I once said in an article, I think, if we were overweight, middle-aged dudes, we ‘d be taken very seriously, and our music would be considered ironic and cool and we’d be hipsters. Same music, different look. And it’s probably true. Maybe it has hurt a little, but this is also assuming that I find myself attractive, which is funny, but the fact that I’ve been considered that is very flattering but also maybe somewhat detrimental to what I’m trying to do. But also really helpful, so it’s a double-edged sword. It’s great. It’s propelled me to a place that I enjoy, mostly, so I’m not mad at that. I’ve also been perceived as a womanizing whoremonger or whatever, some sort of weird dude – Lothario is a word I’ve heard a couple of times — and that’s just weird. I’m young, successful. I’ve been having fun and hooking up with girls. It’s like, Leave me alone. What, do you not want me to do that? So I’m cool with all of it. Yeah, sometimes it sucks because I would like to be – we are taken seriously, that’s another thing. Sometimes I am hypersensitive to the fact that we’re not taken seriously, but I don’t realize, Well, wait a minute. We’ve won awards that are really prestigious and Grammys and all this stuff. What am I complaining about? I’ve got all that sh-t too. It’s kind of awesome. I’m really stoked, to be honest.

On reading his own press:
No. My press always gets regurgitated to me at some point and I’m like, Ugh, this is so silly. So, yeah, God bless ‘em.

On Lady Gaga:
Gaga is the perfect example because people are definitely saying things like, “changed the face of music” and “avant-garde.” And I love what she does. I love the fact that she exists. It’s almost like, finally there’s a pop star who brings a little bit more weight to it. She’s weird. She’s a weird chick. She does weird sh-t. She dresses weird. Her music is slightly off. That’s awesome. I think that’s great for pop music because it’s been so safe up to this point, and I like that she’s nude all the time and weird and awesome and cool. Madonna was that way too. I know she gets that comparison a lot, but it’s true. She was pushing the envelope back in the day. She was doing the same thing that Gaga’s doing to a large extent. She has her own spin on it. That’s fantastic. I love subverting the new generation of pop music and all these really safe Disney kids. But no, I’m not going to try to sound like that because that would be weird. That would be even weirder than Lady Gaga herself if we just all of a sudden got really strange — because we’re not, that’s just not who we are. But she’s great, and there are very few things these days that are truly innovative and forward-thinking or at least different. Goddamn, everything’s just so generic. I like things that shake shit up.

[From Out Magazine]

Do you see? He loves the sound of his own voice and he thinks he’s brilliant. Granted, he’s probably smarter than the average rock star. And yes, he is good-looking. But in his own mind, he’s a God amongst men. And he’s just not.

Adam on July 2, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Earlier this week, we covered the report from Star Magazine about a possible Jessica Simpson tell-all autobiography. Allegedly, Jessica could be dishing the dirt on all of her boyfriends and hook-ups. At the time, we heard a little about what Jessica could possibly say about Tony Romo, John Mayer and her brief hook-ups with Jude Law and Dane Cook. I wondered if Johnny Knoxville and Adam Levine were included in this little tabloid story, and they are!

The new issue of Star has information on Knoxville, Levine and… wait for it… Bam Margera. On Johnny Knoxville: “She and Johnny hung out together a lot during the movie. Johnny was the strangest guy…. He believed in space aliens and talked to his muscles, encouraging them to grow. He also liked to be spanked and give spankings!” Dude… I’m so sorry I asked. On Bam Margera: “They drank a lot together, and Jessica will recount a number of wild times.” Christ. Does Jessica even remember enough of her “relationship” with Bam to write about it? On Adam Levine (lead singer of Maroon 5): “[He was] incredibly sweet…They used to stay together at the Chateau Marmont together, drinking and laughing. But Adam couldn’t handle the attention that came with dating Jessica.” Haha, Adam Levine couldn’t “handle” Jessica. That’s hilarious. As for Tony Romo? Well, it seems Star has a hot tip about Romo and a full-length mirror:

“Tony liked Jessica to dress up as a cheerleader but with garter belts and stockings and high heels,” says the source. “He also liked bringing food into lovemaking, like in the movie 9 ½ Weeks. He would feed her grapes and strawberries in bed.”

“[Tony] always wanted her to tell him how manly he was,” said a source.

But both Tony and Jessica liked to party hard – and for Jessica, all that drinking packed on the pounds. So insiders say she’ll dish about how self-conscious the excess weight made her feel.

“Tony is extremely vain,” says another source. “I’m sure Jess will spill about how he’d sometimes stand in front of the mirror, analyzing his naked body. Eventually, Jess became extremely sensitive about her own ballooning figure. She thinks that was the beginning of the end.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 24 2009]

Again with the neverending debate about exactly how and why Tony Romo dumped poor Jessica. I’ve never been a fan of explaining their split on Jessica’s yo-yo weight, probably because I didn’t really think she gained that much. She put on an extra 10 or 15 pounds for a few months, and then lost it. It wasn’t the end of the world, and she was by no means “fat”.

Now Fox News Pop Tarts has another explanation – Jessica Simpson is a big lush, and Tony couldn’t handle her “out of control” drinking and behavior. Also: when Jessica got hammered, she “embarrassed” Tony in front of his friends:

Romantic relations between Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo appear to be absolutely done and dusted, but according to insiders, the surprise break-up was largely a result of peer pressure from Romo’s pals and Jess’s love of adult beverages.

“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with he head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all,” an insider told Tarts. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”

We’re also told that the Dallas Cowboy really did love the pop princess and “fought for her” with his skeptical friends, but in the end, it got to a point where it just didn’t make sense for him to stay in the relationship.

But in Simpson’s defense, a friend from her camp told Tarts that she doesn’t drink too much, and that there were numerous issues going on between them before Romo said his goodbyes.

“She was devastated and it did come as a shock, however,” added the source.

[From Fox News]

While I’ll buy that Jessica gets “loud and obnoxious” when drunk, I don’t really think Jessica has a problem. Of course, she looked utterly wasted at Ken Paves’ party last week, but I kind of think that was an isolated incident. I wouldn’t mind getting drunk with Jessica, actually. I bet she’s a pretty fun drunk. You know alcohol would make her say even dumber, crazier things.

Jessica Simpson is shown outside Katsuya with Ken Paves and her sister, Ashlee on 8/1/09. Credit: Fame Pictures and WENN.com

Sometimes, when I’m reading an interview or a tabloid report about Cameron Diaz, I wonder if she’s really the ball-busting feminist, the good-time girl or the needy, clingy wreck that people make her out to be. Perhaps she’s multi-faceted, and she carries all of those qualities. I have no idea, but I tend to think she’s probably not the relationship wreck some people make her out to be. I think she’s probably self-absorbed and narcissistic (who isn’t?), she likes boys and doesn’t take her relationships seriously, which is probably why she goes through men like water.

But this latest report from Star Magazine is too funny to pass over. It’s about how Cameron is destroying her “relationship” with Maroon 5’s Adam Levine before it’s even started. Apparently, they were set up on a blind date, lunch at the Chateau Marmont. It went well, and they liked each other. Cut to the next day, when “clingy” Cameron drops in on Adam unannounced – with her mother. To go from first date to meeting-the-parents within 24 hours is epic. So funny:

Cameron Diaz… is certainly not shy about going after a guy she wants! The star, who just split from Brit model Paul Sculfor, has now set her sight on Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine.

[Though] the two seemed into each other while lunching at LA’s Chateau Marmont on May 16 after being set up by mutual pals, insiders say Cameron’s clinginess is already driving Adam away!

“It’s how she gets with every man. When Cameron likes someone, she smothers him,” a friend tells Star.

“She and Adam have only had a few dates, but she’s constantly calling and texting him.”

Adds another insider “She even changed her cell’s ringtone to Maroon 5’s song “She Will Be Loved” and got really embarrassed when it went off in front of him.”

[Cameron] is intent on getting plenty of face time with Adam. The day after their Chateau Marmont outing, “Adam was there again, and Cameron popped in with her mom, Billie. They didn’t have a planned date. Cameron just showed up because she knew he was going to be there!” says the insider.

Despite her best efforts, Cameron is unlikely to tame playboy Adam, who previously loved and left Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton and Kirsten Dunst. “Adam was flattered at first by Cameron’s attention, and he’s had a good time with her,” says the insider.

“But I don’t think he’s in it for the long term. He’s already feeling like it’s all too much.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, June 8 2009]

I liked “She Will Be Loved” the first dozen times I heard it, but after that, Adam’s falsetto gave me a headache. To choose that as your ringtone? Come on, Cameron. Get it together, girl. And what is with Cameron going for guys with the falsetto (Justin Timberlake)? Does that qualify as a fetish?

Back to Cameron and her “clinginess” – I’m still not sure if I buy it. There were some rumors when she was with Timberlake that she was a mess, really stressed out and worried about her career and their relationship. But every time I saw Cameron talk about Justin, she seemed to be the one in control, and it seemed genuine to me. Could it be that Cameron is just going through a difficult time right now, and she’s trying to force a relationship with Adam? Or is this report total crap?

Here’s Cameron at the Spirit Awards in Santa Monica on February 21st. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

Cameron Diaz is certainly wasting no time getting over her breakup with hunky model Paul Sculfor. The confirmed bachelorette was seen getting cozy with Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine at Hollywood hotspot Chateau Marmont over the weekend. Levine was formerly linked to Jessica Simpson.

It seems Cameron Diaz has wasted no time moving on following her split from model Paul Sculfor earlier this month.

The Hollywood actress, whose year-long relationship with the former Essex bricklayer ended after she refused to move to the UK, was spotted enjoying a lunch date with Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine.

The pair dined together at the Chateau Marmont over the weekend sparking rumours of a budding new romance.

They certainly dressed the part of a new couple in matching blue jeans and crisp white tops and spent more than an hour exchanging flirty glances and conversation over a meal.

Levine, 30, is known as something of a ladies’ man in Hollywood and has been linked to a string of starlets including Jessica Simpson, Natalie Portman, Paris Hilton, Maria Sharapova and Kirsten Dunst.

His last romance was with a cocktail waitress named Rebecca Ginos who worked at popular LA celebrity haunt, Teddy’s.

Cameron, 36, has enjoyed her fair share of high-profile romances too.

Prior to her relationship with Sculfor, she briefly dated singer John Mayer and had a four-year relationship with Justin Timberlake.

Her other love interests have include Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Edward Norton, Vince Vaughn, Djimon Hounsou and Gerard Butler.

Aside from stepping back into the dating scene, Cameron is also busy promoting her new film, My Sister’s Keeper, where she plays a mother of three in a moving story about a family living with cancer.

Famed for her quirky performances in romantic comedies, Cameron admits fans might be surprised to see her take a drastically different direction in her new movie.

But she told Vogue magazine she reveled in the challenge.

She said: ‘People who put labels on themselves limit themselves. If you are a woman who’s been labeled as a sex symbol, for instance – I mean, I am not saying that’s the label people would apply to me.

‘But if you see yourself that way, inevitably you get to a point when you are no longer a sex symbol. And if you can’t move past that, you’re putting a limit on yourself; you’re arresting your development. And that’s where I think a lot of women get in trouble.’

[From The Daily Mail]

I read “My Sister’s Keeper” and was horrified to hear that Diaz would be playing the mother of the two girls in the movie. I can’t see her being convincing in this role at all. I don’t think she’s a horrible actress, per se, just not who I would picture playing the mother of two girls- one of whom is battling a terminal illness.

Back to the topic: Cameron certainly does have a thing for singers, doesn’t she? I doubt this will become anything serious, but they do look good together.

Not to get too political on here (some of you like the variety, but a bunch of you yell at me too…) but Iran’s super-controversial president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke at Columbia University in New York City last Wednesday. The event was incredibly controversial – Ahmadinejad has been a longtime denier of the Holocaust. A lot of people thought he shouldn’t be allowed to speak by Columbia, while just as many people made the argument that in America, people generally have the right to say whatever they want, even if others don’t agree, and that’s a good value to show the rest of the world. Both of the arguments make sense to me in their way. During his speech, Ahmadinejad was heckled and several other speakers were really harsh to him – which was totally fair, because he got to speak his nutball views, and people got to respond. That’s the flip side of the whole freedom of speech thing – it applies to pretty much everyone. Ahmadinejad didn’t like that, and reminded the audience that that type of behavior wasn’t allowed in Iran. Ummm… well dude, you’re not in Iran. We let you come here and say things we consider stupid, so the way it works is that we then get to say things you consider stupid. See how we all win? Ahmadinejad claimed in his speech that there aren’t gay people in Iran, noting: “In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. We don’t have that in our country. In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I do not know who has told you that we have it.” Um, right. Well just because they don’t over-pluck their eyebrows and wear a lot of pink doesn’t mean you don’t have a couple of gays chilling in your hood, dude.

This past Saturday, comedic genius, “Saturday Night Live” cast member, and my future husband Andy Samberg responded to Ahmadinejad’s claims with one of his most inspired songs to date. Samberg is the lyrical mastermind behind SNL’s Emmy Award winning “Dick in a Box” and “Lazy Sunday.”

“Andy Samberg, Adam Levine and Jake Gyllenhaal lampooned Holocaust-denying, homosexual-decrying Iran president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on ‘Saturday Night Live’ this week.

“Samberg performed a hilarious R&B love song titled ‘I Ran’ in homage to the Iranian president (played by Fred Armisen), featuring lyrics like, ‘You ain’t wrong to me, so strong to me. You belong to me, like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me.’

“Meanwhile, Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine gamely lent an overemotive chorus to the video, crooning, ‘And I raaaaan, I ran so far away. Because you’re home, in my heart you’ll stay…’

“The 29-year-old SNL funnyman took a shot at the statement in his serenade, singing, ‘I know you say that there are no gays in Iran, but you’re in New York now, baby!’

“Also up for ridicule was the president’s assertion that the Holocaust is “a myth.” Samberg tones, ‘You can deny the Holocaust all you want, but you can’t deny that there’s something between us.’

“At the end of the video, the real Gyllenhaal pops up for a cameo, fluffing his beard and flashing the double peace sign as the crowd bursts into laughter.”

[From Us Weekly]

Watch the video for comedic gold.

The source for this quote is some Russian magazine, so maybe they made it up, or maybe Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine couldn’t keep up with the locals in vodka consumption and got a loose tongue, but he supposedly dissed tennis great Maria Sharapova’s performance in the bedroom. This guy should be lucky he ever banged Sharapova, and I hope that if he really said this his loose lips will spoil his changes of getting with famous women in the future. He’s probably not short of groupies in a pinch, and doesn’t care:

The singer – who dated Sharapova briefly – told a Russian publication that he was less than impressed with her playing technique.

“She wouldn’t make any noise during sex,” Levine said. “I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type.

”But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it ‘ruined her concentration.’

”It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards.

”Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny.”

[Entertainment Wise]

The Paxil and Easter Bunny bit at the end means that he is either is making a joke or that this originated on one of those parody sites and someone picked it up as real news. If someone made this up they did a good job at being convincing by picking two people that aren’t gossiped about much.

Maria Sharapova makes more noise on the tennis court than any other female tennis great in grunt-measuring history. While hitting the ball she grunts at up to 101.2 decibels, which is almost as loud as a police siren. I find it hard to believe that if she is enjoying sex she doesn’t make a lot of noise.

This is the guy who broke up with Jessica Simpson by text message, so he seems like one of those douches who can dish out rejection but can’t handle it. If he did say this I would bet it’s because Sharapova broke his widdle heart. Maybe he couldn’t perform in the bedroom and he’s overcompensating by saying she’s a wet blanket. Usually when women don’t make a lot of noise or move around it means the guy is doing something wrong. There are also cases where the woman isn’t into it and still goes through with it. I’ve been in that missionary position back in my single days. You just kind of stare at the ceiling hoping they’ll get it over with. Adam, she just wasn’t into you, or your ears would have been ringing.

Update: Levine did not say this. This is indeed a parody from a Russian magazine. Thanks to Fabiola Thing for the tip.