The Beckhams won’t sue the woman who claimed she had an affair with David because it’s “not nice.” WTF? I don’t want to go into wasp-y stereotypes or anything, but that’s your reason? Is it nice to claim you slept with someone’s husband? Not so much. I can’t explain why, but I never really bought Loos claims. She’s so obviously opportunistic – and releasing a song about it? Girl you’re not a singer, you’re a “personal assistant.” That means you fetch bottled water and dry cleaning. Posh says she and David won’t sue Loos because she doesn’t want to upset her family life – and frankly that makes a hell of a lot of sense. I’m way to vindictive to let something like that go, but if Posh can really move on, more power to her.

‘I trust my husband 100 per cent,’ says Posh. The Spice Girl, 33, had to deal with Rebecca Loos’ claims that she had an affair with Becks in 2004 but decided not to take legal action.

The Beckhams denounced Rebecca’s allegations as ‘ludicrous’ and ‘absurd’ but that didn’t stop the former PA from making a career out of her notoriety.

Victoria decided to just ignore her. ‘We have children and I wasn’t going to go to court and drag up my personal life,’ she tells Vogue.

‘We have a very nice positive energy around us as a family and if it’s not positive and nice, I don’t want to know about it.’

[From Now magazine]

Talk about rising above someone’s cheap behavior. No matter what the rest of us think, it’s impossible to know what actually happened between David and Rebecca – but what we can know for certain is that whether David cheated or not, Rebecca didn’t need to blab it to the entire world. That was just a cheap attempt at fame. And unfortunately she’s gotten a little bit of it and has released a truly horrendous song. You can listen here but you do so at your own peril. And there’s a 63% chance that your ears will revolt against you and actually jump off your head. But whatever. Good for Posh, either for being secure enough in her relationship not to feel she has to prove anything, or at least looking out for the well-being of her kids by not subjecting the family to more needless speculation.

Here’s skankatron Rebecca Loos in 2006.

I always wondered what happens to the players in a celebrity sex scandal. The celebrity usually gets to continue on with their career unabated. For the non-celeb partner in the scandal, it can often lead to new and exciting opportunities.

Take Rebecca Loos, for example. She’s had a sordid affair with David Beckham, while he was away from his wife and children in Spain. Using her new found notoriety, she appeared on a few celebrity television shows, most notably The Farm, where she masturbated a pig for some reason. Just to embarrass us all, I suspect. She also had a fake marriage to Jenny Shimizu, who is noted for her claimed relationships with Angelina Jolie and Madonna.

She’s basically slept with someone famous, and built her own small level of fame from it. Now, she’s using that to catapult her new single into the charts, or try to. You can listen to her song below. She ‘sings’ along to some irritating effects, saying “Can you tell me if your boyfriends in? Tell him I’ve got something for him. Cos I know he’s waiting for me. That’s the way it’s gonna be.”

I can’t imagine why she’d want to use her affair with David Beckham to promote herself. If I had an affair with a married man, who didn’t leave his wife (they never do), I would be so embarrassed. I would be ashamed to tell my friends, let alone sell the story to the tabloids.

Marie Claire last April featured a story titled Kiss and Sell, detailing what happens to the non-celeb half of a celebrity sex scandal when the story is over. Lisa Robertson, the flight attendant who had relations with Ralph Fiennes on an international flight while on duty, was fired from her job as a stewardess and revealed as a prostitute to her family. She was fired from the brothel that she worked at also.

Daisy Wright, who was Jude Law’s nanny before becoming something a little more meaningful, now lives away from her homeland of England and finds it hard to get work. She still works as a nanny.

I guess all this shows that while you might make some good money from selling your story, in the long term it might not be the best move you can make for your career.

Note by Celebitchy: Here’s Rebecca Loos’ song. It made me lol several times.

Rebecca Loos is shown at the You, Me and Dupree London premiere on 8/22/06, thanks to PRPhotos.

Victoria and David Beckham seem to have one of those rare celebrity marriage that appears to be pretty stable. Though the two have weathered a few storms (accusations have occasionally popped up regarding David’s possible cheating on Victoria) all and all they seem to be pretty solid. This could be because they have a lot in common – an intense passion for shopping and acquiring “stuff,” sticking their names on various perfumes, buying houses, and being seen at trendy events. I didn’t say it was a deep relationship. But it seems to work pretty well for them. The Mirror and The Daily Mail are reporting that their relationship is stronger than ever, and the pair secretly renewed their wedding vows.

David and Victoria Beckham have secretly retaken their marriage vows - and got matching tattoos to celebrate the romantic occasion. Only a handful of friends and family were invited to watch them remarry in the grounds of Beckingham Palace. One said: “We were in tears. It was beautiful and very non-showbiz.” The couple marked the big day by tattooing the ceremony date on their wrists in Roman numerals.

Romantic David Beckham arranged his secret second wedding to Victoria without even telling her - springing the surprise on the big day itself. He flew her to their sumptuous Beckingham Palace estate then went on one knee to pop the question for a second time. Stunned Posh gasped: “Yes!” - and the couple were soon retaking their vows attended by sons Brooklyn and Romeo as page boys and watched by a handful of close friends and family.

He organised the ceremony and secretly invited a handful of close friends and family. He even had a beautiful white dress made in Posh’s size. A friend said: “David was meticulously planning the big day for months. It was a huge undertaking to keep it all under wraps. He was desperately excited but had had to keep quiet with everyone but his and Victoria’s closest family.

[From The Mirror]

The Mirror reports that they took a second honeymoon together in Paris, and David took Victoria shopping at her two favorite stores, Azzedine Alaia and Colette. He told her to pick out whatever she wanted as a second-wedding gift. While that’s really sweet, I think what’s more special is all the work and thought David put into it. A guy planning a whole quasi-wedding ceremony on his own? And managing to keep it a secret from his wife? That’s a pretty big deal, and it sounds like Beckham put a lot of care and thought into trying to make it as special as possible.

A lot of people think it’s tacky to renew vows, since a couple already had a wedding and all. Frankly I think that - considering how many marriages end in divorce or fall into a state of unhappiness – there’s much worse things than celebrating your successful union, and loving your spouse so much that you want to do it all over again. It sounds like this was a very thoughtful tribute to their relationship and the life they’ve created together.

David Beckham is married to what some people think is one sexy mamma. Yes, he is still married to Victoria! Some people find her sexy. Just because you and I don’t…

Anyway, Becks isn’t one to just give his wife a bouquet of roses – he’s a romantic! So, he’s getting her a tattoo.

It is common knowledge that David Beckham has a thing for tattoos, and that he is head over heels in love with his wife Victoria. And so the ace player on the Los Angeles Galaxy team has decided to dedicate a new image on his body to Posh Spice for Valentine’s Day. According to the British press, David will be having a rose tattooed onto his arm as a declaration of love: the idea shocked Victoria, even if it is not the first time the football player has made a “tribute” to his beloved spouse on his skin. The rose for Victoria will be the twelfth tattoo of the former captain of the British Nationals team.

AGI News

When I first heard this, I thought the tattoo was going to be on a more intimate part of David, not his arm.

Both David and Victoria have tattoos reflecting their union. Victoria has four eight-pointed stars on the base of her spine, one each for David and her three children.

David has Victoria’s name, misspelled unfortunately, on his lower back in Hindi script. Underneath is a Latin phrase meaning ‘So that I love and cherish.’ He also has a tattoo for fidelity, saying “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine, that shepherds among the lilies.” in Hebrew. He also has a guardian angel on his back overlooking his children’s names.

Victoria is very lucky. Most husbands give perfume for Valentine’s Day, but Posh and Becks already have a fragrance, and it’s named after them. He might have given her candy, but she doesn’t look much like a girl who eats candy. Or much else.

The Beckhams are known for extravagant gift giving – they dropped $50,000 on a balloon tree house for their kids this Christmas, when they already had an $187,000 playhouse from previous years. Still, sometimes the simple gift is the best. My husband and I don’t do Valentine’s Day gifts generally, but last year we took advantage of a Valentine’s Day bungee jump discount for couples. Never, ever again. Ever.

Posh will have to wait for her gift - the Beckhams are spending their first Valentine’s Day apart since they were married in 1999.

Note by Celebitchy: David just got a huge naked tattoo of Posh on his left arm, so I don’t see how a little rose is going to top that.

Victoria and Cruz Beckham are shown out shopping on 2/9/08 in the header image, thansk to WENN. I love that Harry Potter hat and scarf he’s wearing. David and Victoria are shown below out on 6/18/07 at Shabay Night Club, where they were joined by TomKat. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Several websites are abuzz with the news the David and Victoria Beckham may be planning on adopting a little girl, possibly from Sierra Leone. David recently went there on a charity mission for UNICEF. The Beckhams have reportedly been actively involved in several charitable organizations for several years, however they have chosen not to publicize their involvement until more recently. According to Grazia magazine, David’s trip to Africa affected him deeply, and the couple are now considering adding to their family.

David spent four days in Sierra Leone in his role as a Goodwill Ambassador for United Nations’ children’s charity UNICEF two weeks ago. During his trip, David witnessed a birth and gave immunization drops to a newborn baby.

Upon his return to his adopted home of LA, the footballer said: “I was close to tears. I had to step back and take a deep breath. I’m a very emotional person and I’m even more emotional now I’m a parent. But what stopped me crying was knowing that what these kids are going through is far worse than my feelings.”

[From the Daily Mail]

Though everyone makes fun of Posh for (presumably) being a little vapid, whenever I’ve seen David interviewed he’s come off as very sweet and affable. I don’t find it hard to believe that he really does care about the UNICEF project and was moved by the kids he visited. Whether or not the couple actually want to adopt as a result of that is more difficult to ascertain.

Beckham, according to Grazia, has told friends they are seriously considering adopting following his trip and has sought advice from celebrity pal Tom Cruise, who adopted son Connor and daughter Isabella with ex-wife Nicole Kidman.

The publication quoted a friend as saying: “Adoption is something David has been talking about for some time. If there is one subject that can move him to tears, it’s the thought of being unloved, uncared for and with no hope or future. It was only when David started planning his trip to Sierra Leone that they began talking about adoption again. It’s clear they both think adoption is great. Tom has talked to David about how adoption changed him and how he’s been able to change the lives of two amazing children.”

[From the Daily Mail]

Victoria has long said that she’d like a daughter to add to the family, and has even mentioned that she’s saving all of her gazillion handbags to hand down one day. I’ve always been a fan of the traditional heirloom jewelry, but I suppose heirloom purses are better than nothing. And God knows Victoria’s got plenty of them. She has also said that having a little girl would complete their family. Though the couple was rumored to be interested in adopting a few years ago, nothing came of it. Perhaps it was something they were interested in and never followed through, and now they’re ready to revisit it again.

Picture Note by JayBird: Pictures from David’s trip to Sierra Leone. Header of Beckham with five-year-old Senyo, who finds it difficult to walk because her muscles have been weakened by malnutrition.

There are few things that I consider to be less sexy than Victoria Beckham. She looks like a fencepost that someone’s tied two unsightly balloons onto in an effort to alert people to a birthday party inside the house. Looking at her makes me want cake and pin the tail on the donkey. She does not make me want to rip my clothes off and do dirty things. But for whatever disgusting reason, David Beckham apparently disagrees with me. He’s just gotten a “seductive” tattoo of a naked Victoria on his left arm. I hope he plans to have sex with his shirt on.

Football star David Beckham has a new tattoo, and this one is unlike all the others - it’s a naked picture of his wife Victoria. The soccer star’s seven-inch artwork on his left arm features the Spice Girl lying on her back surrounded by stars and baring her breasts with her knees raised up seductively. The etching was based on David’s favourite photograph of Victoria from a Bridget Bardot-inspired shoot she did for Pop magazine four years ago.

A source said: “David is thrilled with the results. He thinks of Victoria as his angel, which is why he decided on the stars. Victoria is very flattered with this beautiful tribute.” David, 32, showed off his latest tattoo - which is designed around a previous inking of Victoria’s name in Hindi - when he stripped off to kick a ball around on a Brazilian beach to launch his latest soccer academy earlier this week.

[From Stuff]

In other - and I’m sure unrelated - news, David Beckham has announced that he will be abstaining from sex until his vision completely fades away. Which will happen much quicker now that he has a naked Posh inked onto his arm. Despite my strenuous objections, David clearly knows what he’s doing - this is his 11th tattoo. He’s also got the names of all three of his kids on various locales. I can’t help but wonder how he’s going to explain the naked image of their mother to them. The most important part of learning about the birds and the bees when growing up is the ability to reassure yourself that your parents don’t know about it, and certainly have never done it. That’s going to be a lot more challenging - and oddly confusing - when the boys see their mom’s boobs on their dad’s arm.

I haven’t been able to get a decent night’s sleep in at least a week. I have no idea what’s changed, but suddenly I’m awake for hours in the middle of the night. Last Wednesday, I was having weird dreams about Avril Lavigne trying to make soup out of me. Last night, it was about the New Kids on the Block reunion. Somehow they’d turned it into a reality show, and I was the judge, but there were weird sexual overtones and an oddly big microphone. And I have a feeling that tonight’s nightmare will most likely feature incredibly scary images of Victoria Beckham, naked, having sex, and in some way impaling me with her pointy scissor legs. Why? Because I’ve just learned that the image of Posh’s husband, David Beckham, is being used to promote a brand of Chinese condoms. They’re not actually endorsed by Beckham – in fact it appears many of the Chinese people are rather mortified, as they really like the soccer star and don’t want to offend him. But just putting his face on the box has made it the number one selling condom in China. Something tells me they didn’t use one of the “seductive” photos that also features Posh.

A Chinese firm is using soccer star David Beckham’s name to promote its brand of condoms - without his permission. The firm is claiming men who use the Beckham contraceptive - which has become the best-selling in China - will score in bed like the L.A. Galaxy star does on the pitch.

But fans in the country are calling for a ban on the condoms - because they don’t want to offend the British sportsman.

A fan explains, “We do not want Beckham to think the Chinese people are disrespecting him. We love him here.” A spokesman for Beckham says, “It’s not an official brand.”

[From PR-Insider]

Does using Beckham’s condom mean you have to think about Posh when you’re having sex? I’m pretty sure that would kill nearly any intimate moment. I’m not sure it’s the smartest long-term move by that condom company - I would think that’d knock your sales down by at least thirty percent. Can you imagine the injuries that implants that hard and pointy could cause? Jokes about poking an eye out aside – you really could end up with some sort of spleen puncture or something. Considering the Beckham’s “business savvy” (i.e. ability to make a lot of unnecessary cash from sticking their pictures and names on random products) I’m pretty sure we’ll end up with “Intimately Beckham” condoms here by the end of the week. In other Posh/David news, “Intimately Beckham” was on sale for 15% of its original price at my local Target yesterday.

Picture note by Celebitchy: David and Victoria Beckham are shown in a spread in W Magazine that came out last summer, and in an ad for their perfume.

Apparently David Beckham is quite the humanitarian. Though he’s most famous for being married to Posh… and something about football… he’s actually been a UNICEF ambassador for seven years. Who knew? He and Posh also have their own charity, but supposedly they don’t do it for publicity, which is why the rest of us haven’t heard much about it. Beckham hasn’t done a lot of UNICEF stuff lately, so he decided to go to Sierra Leone to draw attention to the impoverished country, which has the highest rate of child deaths in the world.

“We can’t turn a blind eye to the tens of thousands of young children who die every day in the developing world mostly from causes that are preventable,” added the father-of-three. “In Sierra Leone, one in four children dies before reaching their fifth birthday — it’s shocking and tragic especially when the solutions are simple,” said Beckham.

Measures that could be taken to tackle the problem include vaccinating against measles or using a mosquito net to reduce the chances of getting malaria. “Saving these children’s lives is a top priority for UNICEF and as an ambassador I hope I can help to draw attention to this issue across the world,” said the LA Galaxy star, who spent four days in Sierra Leone.

[From the Agence France-Presse]

Though I’m always a little skeptical when celebrities suddenly become do-gooders, it appears David Beckham has being one for quite some time. He’s just been fairly quiet about it, and actually focuses on the cause, and not attaching his name to it. Beckham said the only reason he’s doing so much publicity for UNICEF and Sierra Leone is because his role for the agency is to bring attention and publicity to the problem.

In absolutely ridiculous David Beckham gossip, supposedly he will be joining good friend Snoop Dogg and rapping on one of Snoop’s upcoming tracks. David Beckham might be rapping with Snoop Dogg on a new track if rumours are anything to go by. The BFFs have so far designed a slipper together. So the next logical step is rap.

The source says: “Snoop thought it’d be a laugh and David is going to give it a real go. They are huge names so the song’s bound to be a hit - even if it’s no good.”

[From Angry Ape]

Even if it’s no good? Well at least they’re keeping their expectations low. Expect an update with a complete denial by one of their reps in the next three hours.

Picture note by Jaybird: David Beckham is shown at his youth soccer clinic on 8/17/07. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Victoria Beckham has hit back at suggestions that David’s Goldenballs were digitally enhanced for his Giorgio Armani campaign.

She says, “I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!”

KGET

I wondered what Beck’s might think about his penis being described this way. Is his wife complaining about the size of the package? Is David embarrassed by public discussion of his privates? Probably not, a man who is willing to pose nearly naked for a global advertising campaign is likely to be very comfortable in his own skin. Maybe David told Posh to say this?

I had a closer look at the pictures of David to see if I thought they were digitally enhanced. I had no idea if the pictures were altered. So I kept looking a bit longer. There was no reason to keep examining the picture, but if you look for yourself, you might find yourself similarly captivated.

Sales of white undies similar to the ones worn in the campaign are up 50% in Selfridges department store in the UK. Obviously David’s Goldenballs are doing their job.

Victoria Beckham says she’s actually a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. From all the reruns of “Will & Grace” I’ve seen lately, I’m under the stereotypical impression that that’s every gay man’s fantasy. Trapped in an ultra-thin fashionista’s body? Married to David Beckham? Okay to be fair there’s a chance it’s half my fantasy too. Speaking of stereotypes, it appears that Victoria’s impression of gay men follows all the classics… though despite my joking, I’m not sure how accurate it is.

Victoria Beckham has said she is a gay man trying to escape from a woman’s body and that she sleeps in the nude. In the new issue of Elle magazine, Posh said: ‘I’m so camp! I’m such a gay man trying to get out. I don’t give a [bleep] what anybody thinks!’

She also spoke of her sleeping habits with husband David Beckham. ‘I sleep naked,’ she revealed. ‘I’m going to be naked if I’m getting in bed with him every night.’

The 33-year-old, who is back on tour with The Spice Girls, put the boot into the wannabes trying to steal her celeb queen crown. ‘There are so many - and I hate the word celebrities - clothing lines and fragrances, and most of them have nothing to do with it.

[From Metro UK]

Victoria sure does seem the type to just throw caution to the wind. Boy they’re really trying to push the whole, “Posh Spice has lots of personality/is loads of fun/is totally a ham!” angle lately. Bad PR flashback anyone? I’m sorry, I’m not buying it. I’ve seen Posh smile twice in photos in the last ten years, and both times it’s because David Beckham made his peck muscles dance. The only way I can guarantee that she’s like a gay man is that she wants to sleep naked next to David. Although that also makes her like a straight woman. Frankly, it probably makes her like 99% of the reasonable population. I don’t want to meet the person who wouldn’t sleep naked next to David Beckham if given the chance.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Victoria with Dita Von Teese at Paris Fashion Week on October 5th. Clearly she’s camp and doesn’t give a f%$# what anybody thinks. Photos thanks to PR Photos.