I should feel like a really bad person for cheering whenever the divorce proceedings between Linda and Hulk Hogan worsen. But then I think about the way karma is biting them so deliciously in the ass, and this big, perverse grin spreads across my face.

Linda is trying to get Hulk thrown into jail for reneging on a contract to purchase a $4.3 million condo in Las Vegas. The two had been ordered by a judge to complete the sale, even though they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. But when the day came to sign the final pictures, Linda claims Hulk was nowhere to be found, and suddenly his attorneys and friends had no clue where he was. What it really comes down to is Linda needs a place to party with her cougerlicious boys.

Hulk Hogan left his signature bandanna at home today, because it could clash with the orange jumpsuit a judge may force him to wear.

Hulk and soon-to-be-ex wife Linda were in court in Clearwater, Fla., as Mrs. H. asked hizzoner to hold her estranged hubby in contempt for failing to close on a $4.2 million Vegas condo.

As we first reported, Hulk wants to bail out on the deal — even if it means he loses his $840,000 deposit. Linda says they had an agreement to close on the condo and Hulk had no right to withhold the cash.

[From TMZ]

Hulks lawyers went off to E! News about how selfish and crazy Linda is for still wanting to purchase the condo. They also pointed out that in light of the lawsuit by John Graziano’s family, it is both financially imprudent and morally tacky to throw $4.3 million into luxury real estate. Which is totally true. But I’m behind anything that somehow results in either Hogan elder spending time in the slammer.

Header of Linda Hogan at the Palms Place Hotel and Spa Grand Opening in Vegas on May 31st. Photographer: Judy Eddy. Hulk Hogan outside MTV TRL Studios in Times Square on January 7th. Photographer: Patricia Schlein. Images thanks to WENN.

Christie Brinkley had another day on the stand in her divorce trial yesterday. She testified how hard she works to have an ideal family life, saying she loves baking birthday cakes, planning holidays and activities with the children. She claimed that family is “the only thing I’ve ever wanted” and “the most important thing - to have a big, happy family.”

Brinkley has daughter Alexa, 20, with ex Billy Joel, and son Jack, 13, with her husband before Cook, Richard Taubman, and daughter Sailor Lee, 10, with Cook. Cook adopted Jack in 1996 after he married Brinkley. She has plenty of help at home, and has had a nanny, cook, gardener, and a woman to do the laundry. She still spends a lot of time with her children, and testified that she always puts them first before her career.

Her lawyer entered into evidence a dinosaur diorama she built with Jack for his science class “complete with a volcano and flying raptors.” [Details from AP]

She also said she routinely snowboards with son Jack and loves preparing for Christmas. Cook’s lawyer shot back at her, saying she wasn’t the supermom she portrayed and that she accomplishes it all with a lot of paid help:

For Christmas, her $30 million Bridgehampton mansion was transformed into a “wonderland.” She made her own birthday cakes, jumped on a snowboard with son Jack, 12, stocked her home with disaster relief kits and always penciled Jack and daughter Sailor, 10, into her calendar before modeling shoots, she said in Central Islip.

But just as Brinkley was making the case for being the better parent for her two children on her second day on the witness stand, her estranged husband’s attorney dismissed her mothering skills as those of a superboss who relied on the help of a sizable staff.

“Are you trying to tell us that during this period, you were kind of a one-man band, doing everything?” asked Peter Cook’s lawyer, Norman Sherseky of Manhattan.

“I would say that I put in a very busy day,” Brinkley, 54, shot back, conceding that Cook doted on his kids in the marriage’s early years. She told her lawyer during direct examination: “Every nanny that I have knows that it’s a household where the mother is present, that they are more like a mother’s helper.”

[From Newsday]

There’s a revealing editorial in the NY Daily News that question’s Brinkley’s portrayal of herself as a marytred power mom, betrayed by her husband as she sacrificed everything for her kids. Author Jo Piazza says you can see how their marriage unraveled. Cook must have actively worked to pull down the perfection his wife tried so hard to build:

Brinkley detailed just what a domestic goddess she truly is. How she is a stay-at-home mom, completely devoted to her children and her family.

She is so devoted that since her split from Cook, her fourth husband, she has sworn off men. For the kids’ sake, of course.

Devoted isn’t even a strong enough word. Brinkley might actually be Supermom.

After seeing a story on the news about how a child had died of heart failure because there was no defibrillator in the house, she bought one for the family home and a spare one for the house of Peter Cook’s parents … just in case.

After 9/11, she bought all manner of protective gear, including enough gas masks for every member of their household - and even some of the neighbors…

Yes, it may seem over the top, but a good parent does anything he or she can to try to protect the kids. And Brinkley had the means to do that.

She swam and surfed and skied and sailed with them. When daughter Sailor Lee took up tap-dancing, she bought herself and son Jack pairs of tap shoes so they could all tap together.

And, oh, the Christmas parties! Each year, Brinkley put her all into throwing a Christmas carol singfest.

She would meticulously type up the lyrics to all the songs and pass them out as her ex-husband Billy Joel played the piano and everyone had a gay old time.

Well, everyone except for probably Cook.

Brinkley says he scowled his way through the last Christmas the pair spent together before “the betrayal.” That’s how she refers to Cook’s infidelity with teen lover Diana Bianchi and his love of Internet pornography.

Peter Cook is obviously a flawed man. The novelty of having a beautiful wife must wear off when she is the one wearing the perfectly tailored pants all the time.

Having to deal with Brinkley’s perfection and the gleaming life she built for them must have been difficult. He got destructive and to make himself feel better about playing second fiddle, had to destroy her idyllic world.

[From NY Daily News]

There’s no excuse for what he did. If there were problems in their relationship he could have tried to work on them with his wife instead of escaping into porn and carrying on an affair with a teenager. She’s painting a rosy picture of her life with the kids, and considering what her husband did she certainly seems like the parent who should get primary custody. She admits that her life revolves around her children, however and it’s easy to see that there was little or no room for Cook. That in no way justifies his abhorrent behavior.

Brinkley said she hasn’t dated since her marriage dissolved, and that “I’ve just been completely focused getting the kids over this painful event. I think it would inappropriate because I think the kids have been though a lot of changes.”

As for her husband’s motivations, she finds it baffling and cites their children together as motivation for staying faithful: “I mean, sneaking out of the house when you’ve got beautiful, loving children there, to go choose instead to masturbate on the World Wide Web, just makes me worry about his judgment.” [Quotes from the NY Post]

Cook’s lawyer notes the many times Brinkley publicly praised her estranged husband as a good father, and say that she’s working to cut him out of his children’s lives.

It is thought that an alleged girlfriend of Cook’s, interior designer Bridget Nisivoccia, 36, might be called to testify in the divorce. She maintains her relationship with Cook is only professional, although there is speculation that they had a relationship after he and Brinkley were separated.

Photo credit: Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook are shown outside of court yesterday, thanks to Lisa Wagner at Splash News

Alex Rodriguez’s annoyed wife Cynthia did jet off to Paris, but maybe it had more to do with spending her estranged husband’s money than meeting with her rumored lover, rocker Lenny Kravitz. The NY Daily News reports that she took off to the French city, paying for first class tickets for herself, two friends and their daughter. Once there she had spa treatments, ate at exclusive restaurants, and had a grand time all on her husband’s credit card. She’s also hired four different lawyers and Alex’s legal team claims she’s deliberately keeping him from his two daughters, Natasha, 3, and Ella, 11 weeks.

Spurned spouse Cynthia Rodriguez used the Yankee slugger’s credit card to the tune of $100,000 to punish him for a dalliance with Madonna that both he and the Material Girl deny, an A-Rod pal said.

“She’s been spending wildly,” the friend said. “She spent close to $100,000 on her jaunt to Paris.”

Cynthia flew the godparents of her daughters, Dodd and Sabina Romero, and their older daughter, first-class to the City of Light, the friend said.

There, Cynthia “had spa treatments, she went to the best restaurants,” the A-Rod friend said. “She originally was going to head to Spain, where Lenny Kravitz was touring.”

In addition to embarrassing Rodriguez and feeding false rumors that she and the rocker were an item, Cynthia gave A-Rod a taste of the gouging to come, the friend said.

“She needs four lawyers in two different states?” asked the friend. “That’s not the dream team, it’s the greed team.”

Also, the pal said, Cynthia has deliberately kept A-Rod from his daughters while tarring him as an absentee father.

“Alex desperately wanted to see his children while she was in Paris,” the friend said. “She blocked him. She said, ‘You cannot see them.’”

[From NY Daily News]

The News notes that A-Rod’s legal team is releasing this information in response to the many stories from Cynthia’s side about his questionable relationship with pop star Madonna. Yesterday her lawyer clarified an earlier statement and Alex’s alledged infidelity, calling his dalliance with Madonna” an affair of the heart” and not “sexual infidelity.” It sounds like A-Rod was doing some late night Kabbalah study at Madonna’s place. His former trainer called Rodriguez “brainwashed” by the singer, and said that he got all wistful and faraway whenever her songs were playing.

The Daily News had another story yesterday that revealed the lengths to which Madonna and Rodriguez went to keep their “friendship” secret. They claim that he frequently took the back service elevator at Madonna’s apartment complex - which led straight to her bedroom. Madonna has denied an affair with Rodriguez, and blamed the media and its gullible consumers for believing the reports about their affair. TMZ claims that she has timed the stories about the trouble in her seven year marriage and is postponing her divorce for maximum press coverage in advance of her European tour later this summer.

In light of Cynthia Rodriguez’s shopping spree, here’s Blu Cantrell doing “Hit ‘Em Up Style” from 2001. (There might be a commercial ahead of the video. Sorry but this is only embeddable version I could find:)

Photo Credit: Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez are shown at the “Grand opening of The 40/40 Club, a new sports bar and lounge located inside The Palazzo Hotel” in Las Vegas on 12/30/07, thanks to Chris Connor for WENN. They are shown below with daughter Natasha Rodriguez at FAO Schwarz as Alex reads from his book ‘Out of the Ballpark’ on 7/20/07, thanks to PNP for WENN.

TMZ claims to have an insider source that confirms what a lot of you have suspected about Guy Ritchie and Madonna’s marriage - they’ve been going through the motions for a while and are milking it for maximum publicity and profitability.

These two are said to be waiting to officially split until her “Sticky and Sweet” European tour is complete. They’re hoping that the continued speculation about their marriage will help Madonna sell as many tickets as possible and that she’ll continue to land on the front pages of the glossies. They even waited to visit divorce lawyers to ensure maximum buzz. When her tour is over and she has enough piles of cash to ensure that their children are set for life they plan to part amicably. It’s all business for Madonna’s personal life as well as her well-controlled career:

Never forget — Madonna is the master at using the media to her advantage, and the current are-they-or-aren’t-they divorcing drams is no different. Now we’re hearing Guy and Madge’s peeps have been planning this for months, hoping the hubbub will sell more tickets to her upcoming tour.

Well-placed sources tell us the Ritchies plan to officially split in November or December — after the Mrs.’ upcoming “Sticky and Sweet” world tour. Why? Big bucks. The concerts are expected to earn close to $300 mil worldwide, and they’ve decided to ear mark that to provide for their three children’s future…

There is a whole PR strategy that has been in place for some time. We’re told the Material Girl will be “very visible” in the months leading up to the tour to “generate a lot of publicity.” That’s when “news” of the marriage’s demise would slowly leak out, causing tongues to wag — and Madonna to be on the cover of papers and mags around the world.

The marriage, we’re told, has been effectively over for some time. The couple are friends, and have realized that it is in both of their interests to make a pile of cash from this tour. No working things out here — our spies say rumors of reconciliation are “garbage.” One person told us, “She is simply playing the media — and the public — as usual.”

[From TMZ]

TMZ talks a lot of shit about people, but their sources are usually solid and they had the scoops in the Heath Ledger case before the other news outlets. They don’t seem to make up stories based on hunches like the gossip rags and I would bet they have good reason to publish this. It makes sense, too.

Meanwhile Alex Rodriguez’s wife Cynthia officially filed for divorce in Miami today. She cited her husband’s “extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct” and said he “emotionally abandoned his wife and children.” Cynthia Rodriguez is seeking custody of their two children, Natasha, 3, Ella, 2 months, along with child support and alimony. Madonna is not named in the divorce papers, but as we reported earlier today her lawyer told the media that Alex’s “relationship with Madonna was the final straw for Mrs. Rodriguez.”

Third baseman Rodriguez has a 10 year contract with the NY Yankees worth $275 million. He has a prenuptial agreement with Cynthia, but she may contest that. The couple owns a 6 bedroom home in Miami worth $12 million and an apartment at Trump Plaza in NY worth $7.4 million. [Details from AP via Huffington Post]

We’ll have to wait a few months to see if this news about Madonna holding to her failed marriage for the sake of her tour is true. In the meantime Alex Rodriguez’s divorce will get a lot more media attention because of his alleged relationship with the pop star.

Photo credits: Header is of Guy Ritchie and Madonna leaving Harry’s Bar on 3/18/08 the last time there were rumors of a split. Photos below are of Guy Ritchie, David Banda, and Lourdes Leon outside the Kabbalah center on 7/5/08, thanks to Anthony Dixon for WENN.

Madonna wants you all to know she really, really isn’t planning on getting a divorce. She also isn’t involved with Alex Rodriguez, and thinks that newspapers and the internet are full of shit. Which is kind of funny, since that is what most newspaper and internet writers think of her.

She has issued this statement to People magazine.

In it, she says: “My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study.”

“I have learned over the years not to take accusations and the many false reports about me very seriously. I also appreciate how fiction and fact seem to be perceived as one and the same by people who read both newspapers and the Internet.”

Given Madonna’s reputation for being extremely guarded and controlling about her public image, I actually thought the wording of this statement was interesting. Firstly, she is ‘not planning on getting a divorce’. This would fit in with reports that Madonna and Guy are not comitted to a divorce yet, for the sake of their children. I think that a custody agreement could get complicated given that Madonna’s eldest daughter Lourdes is not Guy’s biological daughter, but from a previous relationship.

She also says she is not romantically involved with Alex Rodriguez, not that she has ‘never’ been involved with him in the past, ever.

Alex’s wife Cynthia will be filing for divorce this Monday, according to her newly employed attourney Earle Lilley. Lilley leaves no doubt who is the cause of the divorce, telling ABC News affiliates that “The relationship with Madonna was the final straw for Mrs. Rodriguez.”

Note by Celebitchy: What amuses me about Madonna’s statement is that she’s not complaining about newspapers and the Internet being incorrect - she’s suggesting that people who read newspapers and the Internet are incapable of telling truth from fiction, as if it’s a personal failing to pay attention to the news at all. In a haughty appearance on Oprah defending her illegal adoption of David Banda, she was all too proud to announce that she doesn’t watch the news, go online for news, or read a newspaper. This is f’ing ripe from a woman who spends tens of thousands of dollars a month on water that’s been blessed. Because smart people don’t take in information from different sources and use critical reasoning skills. According to Madonna, smart people pay someone else to tell them what’s true.

And it looks like she’s teaching Alex Rodriguez to pay an authority figure to tell him what’s true too. His own personal trainer says he’s been brainwashed by Madonna. Whether she screwed him or not, she surely screwed his marriage by helping him buy into the same belief system.

Alex Rodriguez is shown leaving his apartment on 6/7/08. He stopped and signed an autograph for a little kid in a Yankee shirt.

After tearful testimony in which she described the moment she learned of her husband’s affair with a teenager, which she said “completely shattered” her world, Christie Brinkley told press waiting outside the courtroom that she wanted to send a message to the young woman her husband seduced. Diana Bianchi, now 21, was just 17 when Brinkley’s estranged husband Peter Cook, now 49, met her. He hired her to work in his architecture firm and once she was legal he pounced. Brinkley said she wanted to let Bianchi know she forgives her.

“I’d just like to say after two days of testimony that I can’t help but think about Diana Bianchi, and I want her and her family to know that I feel really badly for them,” said Brinkley. “I feel bad for her and I forgive her completely.”

“She was manipulated.”

[From People.com]

Wednesday Bianchi gave a tentative account on the stand of her affair with Cook. Cook gave Bianchi gifts of lingerie and cash, later paying her $300,000 not to reveal their affair to his wife. After her testimony, Cook approached Brinkley’s daughter with her ex husband, 20 year-old Alexa Joel, and reportedly said “I’m sorry for the pain I have caused you and your family.” The two then hugged.

According to the latest edition of the National Enquirer, aspiring singer Bianchi has been through a lot in the two years since ending her affair with a man nearly 30 years older. A friend claims Bianchi contemplated suicide and that she had issues with sexual addiction. She is also said to have dated music mogul Diddy, now 38, at a time when he was supposed to have been with his longterm girlfriend and mother of his twins, Kim Porter.

Diana’s friend told The Enquirer that music mogul Combs was Diana’s second celebrity conquest. “Diana met Sean at his recording studio when she went there with a friend who knew him. She told me that he just came up to her and started talking,” the source revealed.

“She said their affair started a few weeks later - and it went on while he was involved with the woman he was going to marry, Kim Porter. Diana said she thinks that she’s the reason they split up.”

A representative for Combs denied the affair, but Diana’s pal said she grew increasingly uncomfortable during the relationship because he was getting too involved.

“She said she was freaked out because he even sent people to her voice rehearsals and lessons to watch her,” said the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, July 14, 2008]

The Enquirer adds that the source passed a polygraph test. The friend also claims that Diana made a sex tape, took nude photos, and had battled a sex addiction that she’s sought therapy for.

This girl was 17 when she met Peter Cook. She may have technically been legal when they started their year-long affair, but a married man in his late 40s should know better than to take advantage of a girl who has barely graduated high school. He also treated her like a hooker by giving her cash and gifts. This whole situation is sad and while a lot of people say that Brinkley shouldn’t have made the divorce proceedings public as she has two young teenaged children with this man, you understand why she would make that choice.

If this story about Bianchi’s affair with Diddy is true, shame on him for cheating on Kim Porter with her. Diddy’s arrangement with Porter seemed to have been one of mutual convenience, but maybe that’s all he’ll offer a woman.

Photos thanks to Splash.

A lot of people have wished a lot of bad things on the Hogan family since Nick Hogan nearly killed family friend John Graziano in a drag racing crash. Me included. And it seems like Hulk and Linda’s lives are spinning out of control, and their divorce is getting ever more acrimonious. One solitary tear just slid poignantly down my cheek. Linda says Hulk is stalking her, and Hulk claims Linda is crazy but he still loves her.

Linda Hogan filed court documents on June 30 seeking to prevent her estranged husband from harassing her. In the documents, first reported by TMZ.com, Linda Hogan, 48, claims that Hulk Hogan, 54, “relentlessly and methodically” follows her, “causing her anxiety and fear for her safety at all times.” The motion also claims that Hulk “has a history of violence” towards Linda, “and is capable of attacking [her] at any time.”

In a statement, David Houston, a lawyer for Hulk (whose real name is Terry Bollea) shot back: “Linda Bollea’s allegations are pure fantasy, in line with her recent 911 call that has been widely played in the media.

“On May 22, Linda called 911 claiming Hulk was stalking her, which Hulk vehemently denied. Since November, Terry Bollea has been in Los Angeles working. The limited time that he has spent in Florida has been solely to visit his son and daughter. In addition, he has no history of violence.”

[From People]

Linda called 911 on Hulk for stalking her back in May. Hulk showed up at her house. Scary, no? Well he was dropping their daughter Brooke off. And Linda knew that. But apparently his mere presence meant he was stalking her, so Linda did the logical thing - followed him, while calling 911 to report him. The operator actually had to yell at Linda, “Ma’am, ma’am! Stop following him!”

How in the world could such terrible people have created such wonderful, thoughtful kids? It boggles the mind. Rumors were floating around that the pair were having serious marital problems since last spring, well before Nick Hogan’s car crash. Obviously that whole debacle put too much strain on an already fragile relationship.

But since then, both of the Hogan parents have conducted themselves with the utmost dignity; namely dating people their children’s age (and in Hulk’s case, dating a woman that looks like his child). Oh and rubbing lotion on his daughter’s ass.. And other uber creepy behaviors.

Hopefully this is the beginning of a long line of karmic retribution. Er, I mean forgiveness. Okay not really.

Header of Linda, Hulk, and Brooke along with Amber Reidinger at a Super Bowl party on February 3rd, 2007. Images thanks to WENN.

Christie Brinkley fought to have her divorce proceedings with her husband of 12 years, Peter Cook, made public. Her lawyer is said to have advised her to keep the details private out of concern for her two children with Cook, Sailor, 10, and Jack, 13. The trial is barely underway and Christie has learned that there’s much more to her husband’s wild ways than she assumed. She said of his shocking testimony that she “heard a lot of new things I didn’t know” and needed “some time to let it all absorb.”

Cook, 49, took the stand yesterday on the first day of court and started crying while he confessed to infidelity and an addiction to online porn. He admitted to webcam sex and to an affair with the 18 year-old he hired to work at the architecture firm he owned. Cook said he gave the woman he cheated with, Diana Bianchi, $300,000 last year to keep the affair private. To make it worse, Brinkley, 54, is said to be the one who paid for everything in their marriage:

Cook, who broke down crying after getting grilled on the stand today by the supermodel’s lawyer, admitted he masturbated in front of a web cam and frequented escort, porn and swinger sites, all while married to Brinkley. He also admitted that he had sex with then-teenager Diana Bianchi in his office while she worked for him. He testified he gave Bianchi nearly $300k hoping to keep their tryst on the down low. He said he would leave money for her under a rock outside his office and more cash behind a painting. He also said he bought her a $2000 watch and lingerie.

Attorneys for Brinkley have laid out a sordid story of Cook’s history — get a load of this stuff!

They’ve alleged, among other things, son Jack accidentally found porny pics of young girls on Cook’s computer. The lawyers have also highlighted Cook’s felony cocaine conviction and the time he served in jail.

[From TMZ]

Brinkley and Cook had a prenup and Brinkley will be able to keep her $30 million mansion. They are fighting over custody of their two children.

The other woman, Diana Bianchi, testified and said that Cook hired her to work at his office and gradually convinced her to date him. She says she sex with him about 10 times. They stopped seeing each other at the end of 2005.

Christie Brinkley’s 22 year-old daughter from her marriage to Billy Joel, Alexa Ray Joel, also took the stand. She painted a picture of Cook as a controlling man with a mean streak and told a story about how he once pushed her head into a bucket to get her to clean up some water.

Cook admits spending $3,000 a month on porn in 2005, and said he often used porn to rev things up in the bedroom with Brinkley.

Lawyers for Cook tried to make Brinkley out to be a bad mother for working to make her divorce public:

Brinkley fought a bid by the children’s legal guardian to close the trial to the public, and Cook’s lawyer said the model was partly to blame for an unseemly spectacle.

“For goodness sake: She’s on her fourth husband,” Sheresky told the court. “Your honor, we’re here because of the self-indulgent wrath of a woman scorned.”

“What kind of a mother wants her husband flogged in public?” he said.

[From AP via Huffington Post]

Brinkley isn’t the person who had an affair with someone 30 years younger and then try to pay them off to keep it quiet. Yes she was scorned, but it’s stupid to complain that she wants her husband’s awful behavior made public. She might regret it now, but the things he did were inexcusable and you can understand how she would react that way. It’s a shame their kids are going to hear about it, though.

Christie Brinkley and Diana Bianchi are shown outside of court yesterday, thanks to Lisa Wagner at Splash News.

Enrique Iglesias has admitted that he is/was married to Anna Kournikova, but he doesn’t seem too sure about how his relationship is going. The two dated for five years, splitting in May 2007.

Speaking exclusively to us at his Malta gig for MTV, he said: “Oh I’m not married, no. I mean I was married. I was married, ­seriously. I was married a year ago to Anna and I don’t know what ­happened.

“We’re not married any more but we are kind of still in contact.”

Daily Star

I know that the Daily Star is not the most reputable of sources, but this seems to be a very strange thing to make up a year after the couple split, which makes me think it could be true. What does ’still in contact’ mean? Are they still in contact through divorce lawyers? Are they already divorced? Was it a cheesy fake wedding in the Bahamas? Or is Anna Kournikova a douche, as US tennis player Justin Gimelstob claims.

He branded Kournikova, whom he trained as a junior, a “bitch”.

“I have no attraction to her because she’s such a douche,” he said. “I really have no interest in her . . . I wouldn’t mind having my younger brother nail her and then reap the benefits of that. She has a great body but her face is a five.”

London Times

That Justin seems like a top notch fellow.

In the past Enrique Iglesias has claimed he has a small penis, although he later tried to say it was a joke.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias are shown at Shaquille O’Neal’s Super 60 party on February 3, 2007. She was wearing two bands on her left ring finger at the time.

This weekend it’s all about chronicling attention whore Madonna’s every move as she goes for some extra brainwashing to convince herself that leaving her husband is a good idea. The muscled-up pop star has been swamped by paparazzi and mildly interested bystanders as she predictably pops in and out of the Kabbalah center in New York, her children in tow and her husband of seven years back in London.

The Sun is reporting that Guy will soon join Madonna in New York and that he’s going to try one last feeble attempt to save their marriage. Madonna has consulted with both of the attorneys who represented Paul McCartney in his high profile divorce from Heather Mills, and Guy has lawyered-up too. It is thought that Madonna will approach her divorce with the ambitious precision with which she handles her business ventures. She is said to be striving to keep the specifics quiet and to get it over quickly.

Madonna and Guy do have a prenup, claims The Sun, and that should help speed up their divorce with minimal details leaked to the public. They’re not entirely committed to calling it off, though and may try to give their relationship one last shot:

GUY RITCHIE is flying to New York this weekend in a last-ditch bid to save his marriage to MADONNA.

The couple hope to get their relationship back on track for the sake of their children.

A source close to them said: “It is make or break time for Guy and Madonna.

“She is completely focused on rehearsals for her tour in America and can’t come back to London. They want to make the marriage work, but they are at a stalemate…

“But at the moment they are both trying to rescue the situation. Em has shown a willingness to patch things up. But because almost all rehearsals for the tour are in New York rather than in London Guy thinks she’s not sacrificing much.

“He has now decided to fly out there this weekend to try to sort things out.”

If the couple cannot patch up their differences, the split will NOT be a court circus like that of Macca and Mucca. The Ritchies are determined to remain civil.

And, despite some reports, friends say they DO have a watertight pre-nuptial deal that will make any split more amicable.

The key issue is Madonna’s desire to live in New York with her children Lourdes, 11, Rocco, seven, and adopted David, two.

[From The Sun]

Madonna is preparing for her tour, which features 10 dates in Europe during an under one month period from August to September. She probably doesn’t need to deal with a divorce along with the stress of touring, and they may put off splitting for that reason. Madonna’s unwillingness to let up on her music career, her slavish devotion to the expensive Kabbalah cult, and the fact that she recently branched out into her husband’s field of directing are some of the reasons cited for the breakdown of her marriage.

Whatever these two decide it’s not going to be kept under wraps. Madonna blatantly uses controversy and sexuality to garner the spotlight for her every career move. She can’t just turn off the press when it comes to her personal life - no matter how hard she tries not to watch.

Madonna and Guy are shown above in December, 2007 at a Revolver screening. Madonna and her kids are shown below in NY yesterday, thanks to WENN.