A lot of the celebrities who were at the actual Oscars went back to their hotel rooms to get into their party dresses. And then some celebrities who were not at the Oscars came out last night solely for the parties. These are some selected shots from the Vanity Fair Oscar party, which is the ticket everybody wants. There were some surprises among the guest list, like Natalie Portman and Benjamin. I’m genuinely surprised they came out for the Vanity Fair party – surely they are WAY too private to deign to pose on the red carpet together? Natalie is wearing Dior – does anyone else think she looks pregnant again? Do you think it’s on or is it just a weird dress?

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt. I just can’t with her plastic face anymore. Jon looks really tired here too. I still love him, but my love has waned a bit.

Lily Collins in Zuhair Murad. The dress is total J.Lo (for real) but from the neck up, Lily is giving me Rooney Mara vibes. God, she’s lost so much weight.

Miranda Kerr in Valentino, with a shellshocked-looking Orlando Bloom. Why are they everywhere these days? This is like the fifth big Hollywood event they’ve come to in two months. What’s the deal?

Anne Hathaway changed her dress for the party, but we don’t have any full-length shots. My bad! This dress seems okay – it’s just a sack, you know? A halter-sack.

Here’s Gerard Butler and his girlfriend of several months, Madalina Ghenea. I guess I’m happy that he seems to be in a relationship that has lasted longer than a trip to a Port-o-potty, but this lady gives me strange vibes. Drag queen vibes.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Do you know that it’s taken me THIS LONG to realize that Christina Hendricks was nowhere to be seen at the Golden Globes? She wasn’t nominated for a Golden Globe or a SAG for Best Supporting Actress for Mad Men, which is crime because last season her storyline on Mad Men was amazing and thought-provoking and she killed it. Christina was nominated this year as part of the Mad Men ensemble, but even then she didn’t come out. Now I know what was missing the past few weeks – Hendricks tatas! I miss them. Where art thou, Titsy McGinge?

Anyway, these photos are of the Mad Men cast members who did make it to the SAGs. Let’s begin with the mess that is January Jones. Her dress is Prabal Gurung, a designer that I don’t have a really strong opinion on either way, but this is maybe the worst, the cheapest-looking Gurung dress I’ve ever seen. It’s just poorly designed in total. And January did the dress NO favors with her dystopian hair and her too-heavy makeup. YIKES.

Elisabeth Moss in a subdued and cute Dolce & Gabbana. I like it because she’s not trying to “win” the red carpet, and because she kept it simple. She looks adorable.

Jon Hamm and his girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt. I hope this doesn’t offend the faithful but JESUS H!!!!! Her face is ten kinds of crazy. She looks like she’s trying to morph into Renee Zellweger, right? I swear, the state of Jennifer Westfeldt makes me like Jon Hamm less.

Vincent Kartheiser and his girlfriend, the Lady Lazarus, Alexis Bleidel. He looks old (right?) and she looks like Emily Deschanel. Still, I love that they’re a couple now.

I’m trying not to be a full-on Jessica Pare-hater. It’s not her fault that Megan Draper sucks so hard. But good God! The closeup of just her face startled me. From a distance, in the full-length photo, she looks okay in the green Jason Wu though. It’s not a great dress, but I do like the color.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

I think I might have blacked out at various points in last night’s Golden Globes telecast, because how is that Jon Hamm and Ewan McGregor were in the same space and there wasn’t a camera on them at all times? I wish producers would realize that it’s always nice to cut to a hot guy. Even if ladies are going to throw shade at the hot guy’s partner.

So here are my two picks for hottest dudes of Globes. The Hamm Dong is obvious, of course, because he always gets included, even when he doesn’t look particularly good or bad. Jennifer wore Naeem Khan, which I actually love. Imagine if Jessica Chastain had worn this dress…? Right? That would have been stunning. Instead, Jennifer wore it and she looks okay (if you ignore what’s going on with her face, which is way worse than Nicole Kidman’s stuff). I think it’s interesting that Mad Men was shut out once again – I believe the Hollywood Foreign Press “punished” the show for this past season because of the Megan Draper storyline. While the show still packs some gut-punches, it does seem to have waning enthusiasm.

But dear God… Ewan McGregor looks fantastic, doesn’t he? I could eat him for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dear God. Evie looks kind of over it, but I don’t think this is her scene at all.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Yesterday, Page Six ran a really sweet little item about Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt. Not about their relationship or anything. The item was about Jon and Jennifer’s support of the new documentary called Brooklyn Castle, a film all about “students at Williamsburg’s IS 318, who’ve racked up 26 national titles despite having 60 percent of its pupils living below the poverty line.” Jon and Jennifer went to a screening of the film, and then Jon played one of the student chess champions, a young woman named Rochelle Ballantyne. Page Six notes that Jon Hamm lost the chess game, but Page Six also included a funny-funky photo of Jon and Rochelle playing chess, and Jennifer sitting in front the board, posing like she was concentrating on the match. It just reminded me that Jennifer and Jon are still together, and that it seems like… I don’t know… that Jennifer is just kind of desperate to be included in his life at this point, which is a weird thing to be saying about Jon Hamm’s girlfriend of 14 years, but that’s what their body language has been saying to me.

Well, The Enquirer has an interesting story about Jon and Jennifer. Who knows if any of this is true, but it would go a long way to explaining why their relationship seems somewhat rocky these days:

Jon Hamm’s longtime love hit him with a “marry me or else” ultimatum – and Jon Hamm told her to take a hike! Jennifer Westfeldt, 42, has dated Hamm for 14 years, and she recently demanded they tie the knot, sources say.

“Jon and Jennifer have talked marriage before, but he’s always shied away from it,” said a pal. “Now, Jennifer’s at a stage in her life when she wants stability, security and a family. So she worked up the nerve and told Jon it was time to get married or she was moving on.”

When she did Hamm went through the roof, said the source.

“Jon angrily told Jennifer that a wedding was not in their future,” revealed the pal. “He said, ‘If you want to get married, go right ahead. There’s the door. Go find someone else to marry because it’s not going to be me!’ Jennifer was devastated. She broke down in tears and Jon stormed out.”

Hamm has recently been living it up on his ‘Mad Men’ success, said the source. “Jon’s like a kid in a candy store these days, and he made it clear that he doesn’t want the party to end. Jennifer backed down, but now she’s miserable.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

When Jennifer was promoting her film, Friends With Kids, she did some interviews in which she discussed her life with Jon in pretty direct terms. I got the feeling that she stayed with him all of these years because she truly loved him, but that as she’s gotten older, she’s begun to wonder about all of the things she’s given up (marriage, children) to be with him. I just got the feeling that HE is the one saying “no” to marriage and kids, and she just goes along for the most part. Maybe she’s trying to get some stuff that she wants now? I feel like I just have to put this out there: what would it look like to have a single-and-ready-to-mingle Jon Hamm on the loose in Hollywood?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Jon Hamm brought his girlfriend of some-odd 13 or 14 years to the Emmys. Jennifer Westfeldt pretty much acted like she always acts when she’s on the red carpet with her man – she looked like she could eat him up, which, just by the way, is how most women look at Jon Hamm. Jennifer wore a J. Mendel dress that’s okay… I don’t really get all of the “slits” and “mullet dresses” that were the trend last night, but whatever. It’s a pretty color on her. And now you can sleep at night knowing that a single-and-ready-to-mingle Jon Hamm is NOT on the loose. Jon Hamm still has a girlfriend. He probably always had her, you know? As for the Hamm Dong specifically… I think Jon was wearing underwear. Can you see it? I can’t see it.

Mad Men fans are super-depressed because Mad Men went into the Emmys as the most-nominated show, and the show was completely shut out of everything. In fairness to Mad Men, Homeland is a really wonderful and groundbreaking show. But… Mad Men has won Best Drama for however many years in a row, and they definitely went into the Emmys as the favorite. So what happened? One theory: Homeland is simply a more topical and well-acted show? Sure. That’s one theory. Second theory: BLAME MEGAN DRAPER. I don’t blame Jessica Pare the actress. But I do blame a bit of this shut-outon the show’s swing to include all of those Megan-centric storylines when it turned out that Megan is really not that different than Betty, you know? That being said, Christina Hendricks was flat-out ROBBED for Supporting Actress. And Jon Hamm has never won an Emmy for playing the iconic Don Draper, and that’s simply ridiculous.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

CB forwarded all of your emails over the weekend about the grand Hamm Dong event. I kind of love it that your first instinct, upon seeing The Glorious Hamm Dong, is to email me or Celebitchy. It’s wonderful. Anyway, Jon Hamm and his girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt were spotted in New York over on Saturday, and Jon was noticeably without underwear. You should really go and look at those photos – we don’t have access to them. The photos I’m including in this post are also from the weekend – Jon and Jennifer were photographed at the US Open. There’s one particular shot where you can really see the shadowy Hamm Dong, so of course I cropped the photo for a better view:

By the way, you know The Hamm Dong is a “thing” that people discuss regularly now? Back in 2010, it became increasingly obvious that Jon Hamm is particularly well-endowed, and that he does not believe in supporting his endowment. I think he was going commando for months and months (probably longer), and when I pointed out his magnificent bulge in 2010, Gawker followed up by running a hilarious bulge pictorial. And then came the great story about The Hamm Dong causing problems on the set of Mad Men – apparently, there are serious costume issues regarding Jon’s lack of underwear. All of those events conspired – unfortunately – to Jon finally wearing underwear and wearing lots of baggy pants in which the Hamm Dong was hidden away for much of 2011. I’d like to think that 2012 will become “The Year That The Hamm Dong Came Back”. Please?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Back in July, there was some speculation and gossip that Jon Hamm might be fooling around on his girlfriend of 13 or 14 years, Jennifer Westfeldt. The Daily claimed The Hamm had been seen all over New York City, buying girls drinks and talking up whatever lady he fancied. LaineyGossip had a blind item that many thought was about The Hamm and Westfeldt too – all about how a dude was screwing around on his girlfriend with younger costars. Well… whatever happened around that time, Jon and Jennifer seemed to weather it. They stepped out looking couple-y a few weeks after the reports, and for the past month, I really haven’t heard anything positive or negative about either of them.

So what happened? If you believe The Enquirer, Jon got his act together because Will Ferrell told him to. What the what?

Happily married Will Ferrell has taken on a surprising new role – relationship counselor to close pal Jon Hamm. And Will’s telling Hamm not to cheat on his live-in girlfriend.

Ferrell leaped into action when he heard that Jon and Jennifer Westfeldt were having problems after reports that Jon has returned to his old ways – boozing and hitting on women.

“Jon has been sowing wild oats, and Will is worried that his friend’s antics could wreck his relationship with Jennifer,” revealed an insider. “So he sat Jon down recently for a man-to-man conversation. He told him he needed to recommit himself to the happy home life he’s built with Jen.”

Ferrell also suggested it might be time for his 41-year-old friend to anchor the relationship by getting married and having or adopting a baby, said the source. “And Will also let Jen know he was talking sense into Jon and setting him straight.”

Ferrell has been married to Viveca Paulin for 12 years, and they’re parents to three sons. “Will is determined to get Jon refocused on his home life. Will and Viveca have been hosting couples’ dinner parties, and Jon and Jennifer are regular invitees. The counseling seems to be working like a charm. Jen has even called Will to thank him.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

First of all, I’m not even sure if I believe Will and Jon are this tight. I think The Hamm is friendly with most people, and I could see a casual friendship between the two men. But I don’t buy that they’re close enough for Will to act as some kind of relationship counselor, nor do I think Will would ever feel the need to act that way with ANY of his friends. Right? Mind yo’ business, Will. And Jon… God, I don’t even know what to do with you. If he’s really been hooking up with other ladies… he’s not the man I thought he was. Sad.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are some new photos of Jon Hamm and his girlfriend of 13-plus years, Jennifer Westfeldt, arriving at LAX a few days ago. So… they’re still together. Noted! A few weeks ago, The Daily claimed that Jon Hamm had been spotted all over town, chatting up women at random bars. The report came on the heels of a LaineyGossip blind item that seemed to indicate that Jon Hamm might be the kind of dude who screws around with young ladies, and that Jennifer just kind of goes along with it. A lot of you yelled at me because I kind of felt… meh about it. So, let me clarify.

I still feel meh about it. If Lainey’s blind is true (and it probably is), then yes, The Hamm isn’t the dude I thought he was, and he and Westfeldt don’t have the relationship I thought they did. So… I’m very disappointed in him as a person, but because of his long-standing, historical commitment to actually being a decent dude, I’m still going to hold out hope that A) he’s not as big of d-bag as all of this new information indicates and B) the situation is more complicated than what we think. Some people are comparing this to the Kristen Stewart situation just to create a convoluted straw-man argument of “sexism”. There are no photos of Jon Hamm making out with some chick in a Mini Cooper. There are no photos of him grinding his Hamm Dong on a friendly director. There is no public apology and public declaration of love, inviting us to speculate and judge whether the p ever went in the v. The situation is NOT the same. Even taking The Daily’s report at face value… he bought some ladies some drinks. He had some friendly, drunk conversations. That’s it.

But it’s all okay because Jennifer and Jon are still together. Because they held hands as they were walking out of LAX.

PS… I love Jennifer’s jeans.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

A few weeks ago, Lainey had a blind item that some of you contacted me about. Which is weird, because A) I didn’t write it! and B) I SUCK at blind items. I’m really bad at guessing them – I always try to make the answer “Brangelina”. Anyway, this particular blind item was about a dude who has a public image of being loyal, trustworthy and faithful to his girlfriend/wife, but as it turns out, he’s actually off having affairs with costars and chatting up younger girls after a few drinks. I won’t even bother to tell you my initial guesses (Brangelina and RDJ, for real), but a lot of you guessed Jon Hamm. And I’m pretty sure you were right. How do I feel about the idea that Jon Hamm might have been screwing around on Jennifer Westfeldt the whole time he was making my panties explode with all of his feminist talk? Honestly, I wasn’t as upset as you’d think. Anyway, as it turns out, some other people have noticed that The Hamm Dong is acting like a single dude lately:

Jon Hamm won’t find out if he’s TV’s best actor until Sept. 23. But there’s one thing he’s definitely talented at — acting like he’s a single man. Although he’s been in a serious relationship with girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt for almost 15 years, Flash has learned exclusively that Hamm has been hitting the bars hard in recent weeks, chatting up pretty women who aren’t his girlfriend.

Hamm first raised eyebrows while visiting Kansas City, Mo., for baseball’s All-Star Game. Flying solo at a Yahoo-sponsored VIP party at CrossroadsKC at Grinders on July 8, he chatted up a hot blonde wearing a sheer shirt — a dead ringer for his absent girlfriend.

“He was super nice!” the woman told Flash. “I joked with him about taking a picture with a Jayhawk,” the University of Kansas mascot, since “there is a slight ‘border war’ between [Hamm’s alma mater] the University of Missouri and the University of Kansas, and he was a great sport about it.” The two even posed for a cozy picture. “Many, many of my friends are jealous of that one,” she said.

Later that week, he got up close and personal with a gorgeous brunette in Rome. Photos from the OCTO The New Architecture of Time by Bulgari dinner on July 13 show Hamm getting handsy with gorgeous Italian actress Anna Safroncik. Westfeldt was nowhere to be seen.

One week later, he was at it again during at night out at Hot Bird in Brooklyn, N.Y., on Thursday, where he was accompanied by a statuesque blonde — again, not Westfeldt. “He didn’t even really want to go out, but I convinced him,” she was overheard bragging at the bar on Monday. Once there, she said, he pounded lagers and “was surprised nobody was coming up to him!”

But apparently, he soon found a solution to that problem. Accompanied by fellow actor pals Jon Glaser and Eugene Mirman, Hamm hit on the female bargoers, according to Twitter user @crashnabula. “They had no game either,” he tweeted the next day. “They just bought drinks for every mediocre girl they approached, and the girls dipped after 10 min of convo.”

All just a bit of innocent conversation? Perhaps. Or maybe he was just in character as mad man Don Draper. But with the recent blind items and Internet buzz surrounding Hamm, his secret nights out are sure to come under even more scrutiny.

[From The Daily]

Doesn’t it sound like Jon and Jennifer are actually on a break? Do people who have been together some-odd 13 years go on “breaks”? I’m looking for the timeline… Jon and Jennifer seemed very much “together” while they were promoting Friends With Kids, the film that she wrote, directed and stars in (with Hamm). That film came out in March, and I believe they were both in England in June to promote the UK release too…? The last photos we have of them together are from June 20th. More than a month ago.

So… what are the chances that they broke up soon after they finished promoting her movie? What are the chances that they’re still “together” and she just turns a blind eye to his infidelities and casual flirtations? If Jon is screwing around and he’s putting her through a lot of crap, then he’s a douche, for sure. But what if it’s slightly more complicated than that? I don’t know… I just can’t bring myself to completely slam the guy, mostly because Westfeldt has always struck me as annoying and a major clinger. I’m not saying she deserves to be treated badly or anything like that, but maybe she knows all about Jon’s habits and she stays because she’s just that kind of girlfriend, you know? I’m not going to rile up the sisterhood when it’s possible they have some kind of “agreement” where he gets extras.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

You know I’m not crazy about Jon Hamm’s girlfriend of 14 years, Jennifer Westfeldt. Perhaps part of it is jealousy – she’s enjoyed The Hamm for 14 years, for God’s sake. Share the wealth, woman! While I’ll admit that seeing her hang on The Hamm on every red carpet does bring out my green-eyed monster, I have to say… that’s not the only reason she bugs me. Her face is just crazy to me! Look at the header photo – a formal portrait taken for The New York Times. You can’t tell me that’s natural – she’s got a Kardashian-style kat-face. And you’ve seen her speak too? The way she can barely move her face? I swear, it’s worse than Nicole Kidman. But… I’m determined to be nicer to her, because I know Westfeldt has fans and I know my jealousy is causing some bias. So Jennifer has a new interview in the NYT – you can read the full piece here. She talks openly about the issues of friendship and parenthood, the ideas behind her new film (which she wrote, directed and produced), Friends with Kids:

Having friends with kids: “Best intentions aside,” she says, having kids “always changes your friendship, at least that first year or so in a way that I think is painful for both of you.”

On being 42 years old and child-free: “I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I never thought I’d be this age and not have kids. But my life has also gone in a million ways I never anticipated.” She continued: “I kept feeling like I’d wake up with absolute clarity, and I haven’t. And we have a pretty great life together. The chance that we’ll regret it doesn’t seem like a compelling enough reason to do it. I may wake up tomorrow with that lighting bolt, and I’ll have to scramble to make it happen. You were wondering how we make it work. One way is we’re really mobile. No one’s had to give up an opportunity they really wanted.”

Jon Hamm on Jennifer: “The part of all that that I think people really don’t get is the superhuman physical, mental and emotional energy it takes to do this [film].” Especially on such a small budget. He has his suspicions about why Westfeldt still has to fight so hard: “People are going to be naturally predisposed to dislike sisters who are doing it for themselves. And it’s crazy, and it’s not just men; it’s very often other women.” As he spoke, he warmed to the subject. “There seems to be this expectation of: ‘Hold on, lady. You just stay in your place. Don’t try to reach for too much.’ ”

[From The New York Times]

Once again, “Jon Hamm: Feminist” comes out. I can’t believe he actually uttered the line “sisters who are doing it for themselves.” He’s such a child of the 1970s. Anyway… maybe he’s right. The Hamm has shamed me a bit. It’s great that Westfeldt fought so hard to make the movie she wanted to make, and there should be more women screenwriters, directors and producers. Still… if we’re going to have the feminist argument, can we talk about what she’s doing to her face and what that says about her specifically and women in general? Or do we just chalk that up to “personal preference, her choice”?

Header courtesy of Peter Yang/NYT, additional photos by Fame/Flynet.