Devoted babydaddy or lazy gigolo- will the real Kevin Federline please stand up?

In the months following the Britney-K-Fed divorce, the ongoing custody battle, and the slow, steady Brit meltdown, Federline has kept a fairly low profile and done a good job of keeping their two children protected. But recent documents revealed that K-Fed many have been lying about his income in order to get his ex-wife to pay his legal bills- and that the single dad likes to blow money on strippers, nightclubs, booze and ridiculous tips.

K-Fed lied about his income and charged up ridiculous expenses, including insane tips, according to new court documents. Britney Spears’ newest lawyer, Stacy Phillips, filed documents challenging the legal fees that Brit was ordered to pay for Fed-ex. Phillips claims K-Daddy “understated his income by at least $200,000.” She also says Federline buried all sorts of personal expenses and pretended to have $800,000 worth of business expenses. PopoZão!

According to the legal papers, Federline grossed $544,074.73 from his production company, “Gooseneck Productions” in 2007, and his expenses totaled $841,128.67. Phillips says Federline’s so-called business expenses included “extraordinarily high tips for food and beverage services [e.g., $1,100.76 tip on $2,782 bill; $200 tip on $371.29 bill; and $2,000 tip on $365 bill].

K-Daddy got Britney to pay his legal bills, claiming relative poverty. But, as her lawyer calls it, “Bank of Britney” may have been taken for a ride — specifically, from L.A. to Vegas. According to legal docs, in a recent eight-month period, Federleezy blew $50,489.71 on hotel rooms and refreshments in Vegas.

In one day alone, K-Fed dropped $2,632.50 at TAO Beach (the pool club at The Venetian). And on one wild evening, he spent $2,862.60 at TAO nightclub. One day at the Hard Rock Beach Club — $3,008.33

Oh yeah, and there’s this…. at Scores strip club, he once spent $365, but left a $2,000 tip.

[Compiled from TMZ]

Juxtapose these legal findings with the public image of a caring dad trying to create a stable enivronment for his two young sons, and I don’t know what to think. I do remember K-Fed spending a lot of time at clubs while Britney was home with two small boys, which led up to their divorce. It seemed as though he’d given that up after becoming the sole custodial parent, but maybe not. Also, how did K-Fed earn anywhere near $500k though his “production company”? What exactly did he produce, besides Sean and Jayden? I’d be willing to bet that all that money he blew in Vegas was courtesy of his ex-wife. Last time I checked, having a two-minute cameo on “One Tree Hill” doesn’t pay well enough to justify that kind of spending.

Picture note by Celebitchy: K-Fed is shown at his 30th birthday party on March 21, for which he was said to have been paid $175,000. That might explain where he got the money. Thanks to WENN and PRPhotos.

Jay-Z seems to really have the world in his hands right now. The rapper/music mogul filed for a marriage license with longtime girlfriend Beyonce Knowles on Tuesday, and since then things have only gotten bigger and better for him. The Associated Press has reported that Jay is about to sign a $150 million deal with Live Nation, which will include both CDs and concerts. Jay-Z was reportedly in great spirits, celebrating at a Toronto club last night.

He was definitely in a celebratory mood before and after his show last night in Toronto. “Jay-Z was not with Beyonce but looked so happy he could have burst,” says an observer at Toronto’s popular bistro Sotto Sotto, where he ate a pre-concert dinner with a bunch of guy friends. Later, he partied well into the night at Toronto’s downtown club Lobby, where he was laughing, chatting up his guests and waving his arms to the music.

[From People]

Jay-Z isn’t just a rapper, he was also the president of Def Jam records for three years. Live Nation has also inked deals with Madonna and U2, but Jay is their first foray into hip hop. The numbers are pretty astounding, considering his last album had just so-so sales figures.

But the arrangement would also position Live Nation to participate in a range of new deals with Jay-Z, one of music’s most entrepreneurial stars, whose past ventures have included the Rocawear clothing line, which he sold last year for $204 million, and the chain of 40/40 nightclubs.

His first undertaking with Live Nation is his current 28-date tour with Mary J. Blige, his biggest live outing in more than three years. After that, Live Nation envisions integrating the marketing of all Jay-Z’s entertainment endeavors, including recordings, tours and endorsements. “I’ve turned into the Rolling Stones of hip-hop,” Jay-Z said in a recent telephone interview.

[From the New York Times]

Jay-Z definitely earns his reputation as not just a good performer but a great businessman. The Live Nation deal includes funding for Jay’s own business ventures in a company called Roc Nation, which will include music publishing, talent grooming and management, along with his own label. They’ll contribute $25 million over the course of five years to it. The timing of the wedding license is interesting, considering all these great things are happening to Jay-Z in such quick succession. Makes you wonder if he had some agreement with Beyonce, like “Once I get my next record deal figured out, we’ll get married,” or something. No matter what, it seems like congratulations are in order.

Here’s Jay-Z arriving for The Late Show with David Letterman on March 31, 2008 in New York. Images thanks to PR Photos.

I’ve always been really surprised that there wasn’t more drama between twin sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I can’t imagine any sisters that don’t argue - I can only wonder how hard it would be to run a multi-million dollar business empire with your twin. The 21-year-olds have spent more time apart in the last few years and have been photographed actually hanging out with people besides each other. However their business interests have remained almost entirely intertwined. While it seems like the two have been nearly joined at the hip, apparently there’s been some trouble between them, and they’ve been fighting over business and real estate decisions.

“They’ve finally had enough of each other,” says a friend. “They just don’t see eye-to-eye anymore and are tired of constantly butting heads.” Now friends say the rift between the twins seems to be growing bigger by the day. “Ashley isn’t an angel, but she’s tired of having to take care of Mary-Kate,” says the friend. “One second Mary-Kate is maniacally happy, and the next she’s sobbing. Her mood swings are dragging Mary-Kate down, and finally, Ashley’s decided she doesn’t want to go down with her.”

But no matter how they feel, the twins can’t simply ignore each other, sources say. At stake is their $100 million personal fortune - also a bone of contention between the squabbling sisters, say the insider. “Ashley’s been considering separating their assets and trusts and getting her own business manger,” the insider says.

[From Star, April 7 2008, print edition]

The Enquirer also has a similar story, saying the pair are fighting over the company and have deep-seated resentments towards one another. Apparently Mary-Kate feels Ashley manipulated her into making bad business decisions, and regrets the twins’ choice to cut their parents out of their company Dualstar.

And one of the biggest rifts between the sisters centers on their decision to “fire” their parents - David and Jarnette, who are divorced - when they took charge [of Dualstar]. Although they both agreed to the move at the time, Mary-Kate now blames Ashley for pushing her into it, says a family insider.

Mary-Kate went along with the firing in part because she was angry that her family forced her into Utah’s Cirque Lodge rehab in June of 2004 to get treatment for an eating disorder. “Mary-Kate had some real issues with the family after they put her in rehab. But now she feels like that may have colored her decision to cut them out of Dualstar. Mary-Kate now regrets her decision — on the other hand, Ashley thinks it was the right move. That’s what Mary-Kate and Ashley mainly fight about.”

[From the National Enquirer, April 7 2008, print edition]

Neither magazine says if the girls’ parents are still speaking with them, though the Enquirer notes that their dad and stepmom have publicly criticized the way they’ve run Dualstar since firing their parents. Both articles are a great example of exactly why it’s not a good idea to mix business and family. Some manage to pull it off with amazing success, but it sounds like the Olsens are starting to unravel a bit. They also bickered about the sale of their Manhattan apartment – whether to sell it, and then for how much. Their identities have always been so wrapped up in each other – at least publicly – that it seems inevitable that they’d eventually want to carve out their own niche in the world. The fighting seems sort of unavoidable to me. It seems like Ashley’s idea to separate their finances could be a really good thing, and then they could try just being sisters instead of business partners.

Here are Mary-Kate and Ashley with Karl Lagerfeld and with Mario Testino and Claudia Schiffer at the Chanel Fashion show, during Paris Fashion Week Fall-Winter 2008-2009 ready to wear collection, at the Grand Palais in Paris on March 8th. Images thanks to Splash.

The movie industry must be getting desperate. Cinemas are trying to find new ways to get people to see movies in the theater rather than waiting for them to come out on DVD. These methods include selling “upscale food and beverages” including alcohol, and adding plush, comfy seats. All of this comes with a price to viewers, however: some of these luxury theaters are charging upwards of $35 per ticket.

Get ready for the $35 movie ticket.

That’s the estimated admission charge for a new deluxe cinema opening in October in South Barrington, one of 50 Gold Class Cinema multiplexes coming from a joint venture headed by Australian conglomerate Village Roadshow.

The theaters will boast boosted amenities, including plush reserved seating, digital projection and sound, and upscale food and beverage offerings with seat-side waiter service. No auditorium will have more than 40 seats.

”It’s an absolutely different environment than anything else that exists,” Village Roadshow CEO Graham Burke said.

[From The Chicago Sun Times]

I beg to differ. There is a place where I can watch a movie in high definition, with my favorite “upscale” foods and beverages, in an intimate setting. It’s called my living room. And I don’t have to pay 35 stinkin’ bucks to go there! Are you kidding me? Yeah, high-end movie theaters sound like a GREAT business to get into, with the economy in the dumper.

I am not the only one who has problems with this concept. State representatives from several areas where these theaters are taking off are saying that serving alcohol at movie theaters is a bad idea.

Movie theater owners from California to Massachusetts are increasingly giving patrons the option of sipping a beer or a glass of wine with an expanding array of snacks.

About 150 first-run theaters serving alcohol have opened within the past three years, bringing the total of such establishments from 14 in 1997 to more than 400 today, says Patrick Corcoran, director of media and research for the National Association of Theatre Owners.

The growth is happening, Corcoran says, despite concerns that those theaters could draw underage drinkers — concerns that have kept some theaters in Illinois, Idaho and California from selling alcohol.

“The boyfriend’s 21 and the girlfriend’s 19, and next thing you know, she’s already had three drinks underage,” says Alderman John Hanson, who voted against a proposal last year by a theater in Bloomington, Ill., to serve alcohol.

The increase in alcohol at the movies comes amid a decline in ticket sales in the USA and Canada. About 1.40 billion movie tickets were sold last year — up slightly from 1.395 billion in 2006 but lower than the 1.52 billion in 2003, according to the theater owners’ association.

[From USA Today]

These people are clueless! Here are some sure-fire ways to get people to go to the movies:
1) Make good movies. A couple of weekends ago, my daughters were bored and the only family-appropriate movie we had to choose from was that Raven Symone-Martin Lawrence atrocity, “College Road Trip.” It was painful, folks. I don’t know if alcohol and upscale food would have made the suffering less on that one.

2) Get rid of rude patrons who refuse to STFU during the movie! I’ll tell you this: if I paid $35 to see a movie and the people around me were blabbing nonstop- either with the people next to them or on their cell phones- I might choke someone. If the cinema management would kick out these morons, I might actually start going to the movies again.

3) Get rid of all those annoying commercials! I am willing to deal with 20 minutes of coming attractions, but not commercials. We see those at home on TV every night- we don’t want to sit through them at the movies too!

Photos from Cinemablend and USA Today.

Bradon Davis stayed at music producer Scott Storch’s mansion and Storch noticed that a watch worth $100k was missing right after Davis took off the next morning. Storch told Davis that he knew the item was stolen and that he caught it all on tape. Davis bawled his eyes out, begged Storch not to tell anyone, and returned the watch.

The other night, “Brandon and Scott went out and Brandon went back to Scott’s place and crashed on the couch,” a source said. “The next morning, when Scott got up, Brandon was already gone — and so was Scott’s $100,000 diamond encrusted watch that had been in the same room the night before. Scott called Brandon and told him the watch was missing but, ‘It’s OK — I just got a new security system, so everything’s on tape.’ ” After learning he’d be caught, Davis “started crying hysterically and saying, ‘Please don’t tell anyone — I’ll bring it back.’ Scott felt bad for him and got his watch back like an hour later, so he didn’t call the police.”

When Page Six asked Storch about the episode, he would only say, “I heard about this. Give peace a chance.” Davis couldn’t be reached.

[From Page Six]

Davis was recently robbed of a watch worth $49k in Barcelona, Spain in late February. The thieves also go away with $4,000 in cash and left him with a black eye.

Maybe Davis thought his richer friend wouldn’t miss an expensive watch like he did. Instead he got busted and is probably not welcome at another friend’s house. He has reportedly been couch surfing since his family cut him off last year for being a public douche. He got into a huge fight at his brother’s wedding last July and was said to be knocking over chairs and flower arrangements. Davis was crashing at Paris Hilton’s house for a while, but I think it’s safe to say he fell out with Paris after harassing Paula Abdul and Courtney Love at her birthday party.

Now Davis has alienated what may be one of his last remaining friends. And the guy showed him mercy and didn’t call the cops or make a statement against him. It seems that Davis does a good enough job sabotaging himself on his own.

Header image via Celebrity Mound.

In a 20/20 interview aired last week, Tori Spelling revealed that she had hundreds of thousands of dollars in credit card debt after 90210 went off the air and she was living on her own without her super-rich father’s support. Tori’s dad Aaron Spelling is the most prolific television producer ever, according to Wikipedia, and had 218 producer credits up until his death in June, 2006. He was worth nearly 1/2 a billion at the time of his death. Tori said she was close to bankruptcy due to “bad shopping habits” after she was on her own financially. She said she never had a conversation with her father asking him to bail her out, and that she didn’t want to do that because she didn’t want people to think she was living off her daddy’s money:

“I had a hit TV series, so I didn’t really need [my parents] for anything,” she said. All that changed when “90210″ went off the air. Spelling says that at one point she owed hundreds of thousands of dollars on her credit card and that she came close to bankruptcy, all because of her “bad shopping habits.”

“Bad shopping habits die hard,” she explained. “In all honesty, I grew up a certain way. I never had to worry about money … that was my reality.”

She says she was too proud to go to her father for help. “That means, in my mind, [that] I was what everyone thought I was, taking money from my dad, the rich little girl that he paid for everything. And I just refused to be that. [I would] rather be bankrupt.”

[From abcnews.go.com]

Tori was left less than a million from her father, which represents about 1/5 of one percent of his net worth. She said that she had lunch with her dad before he died, and that he told her “You’re gonna be OK. I made sure. You’re getting just under a million.” I guess we know where most of that money went if she had hundreds of thousands of dollars in credit card debt.

She’s doing these interviews to help promote her new memoir, “sTORI Telling,” which is getting positive reviews on Amazon. I skimmed through the excerpt available on ABCNews’ website, and it’s well written and interesting. Tori tells about all the excesses she experienced as a child, like her father having snow made in California for Christmas, and over-the-top birthday and graduation parties including the USC marching band showing up for her 6th grade graduation party. Tori’s favorite memories with her family are simple things like scooping dog poop with her dad and looking for seashells with her mom. She was dismayed to read in a magazine years later that her mom planted exotic seashells ahead of time for her to find on the beach.

Tori Spelling is still managing to make ends meet without her dad’s money. She has a reality show on the Oxygen Network with her husband called Tori & Dean: Inn Love, and a jewelry line available through the Home Shopping Network. You can’t say the girl isn’t trying.

Tori is due to give birth to her second child in July, and has a son, Liam, who turns one later this week.

Britney Spears spent more money than some nations are worth in just a year and a half and has only ratty extensions, a couple of mansions and a bunch of overpriced dented cars in her garage to show for it. The National Enquirer reports that she spent $22 freaking million dollars in the last 18 months and that her family is pouring over receipts to see how much of that was bled out without her knowledge by the evil Svengali-like creep who had her in his grip, Osama “Sam” Lutfi. The Enquirer also claims that Britney’s family has turned evidence over to the police to show that Lutfi was spending Britney’s money, although she also seems to do a great job of that on her own:

The singer has blow through $22 million in just months. And the family charges Lutfi knew she was suffering from a mental illness - and pounced like a vulture.

They say he had access to all of Britney’s credit cards, her ATM card and submitted bills to her business manager for his “services.” And her mother Lynne believes he gave her pills…

Her parents’ call for a criminal investigation was sparked by dad Jamie’s close look at Britney’s finances, says the insider. He was shocked to learn that his daughter had expended a whopping $22 million in the year and a half since her split from ex-husband Kevin Federline…

A one-month American Express card bill for a staggering $225,000 alerted her dad to the massive hemorrhaging of money, revealed the source.

“Several charges on the bill are thought to be Sam’s doing since Britney hasn’t had the card in her possession in months. Sam took control of her finances.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, March 3, 2008]

Among Britney’s expenditures noted in the article include rental cars, sometimes three at a time, and high-end hotel stays. Her house cost $7.2 million, and although she bought it furnished the Enquirer notes that she had it redecorated before Christmas, and that she spent $200,000 on chandeliers alone. She even has one in her garage.

There was a theft at Britney’s house right after she was committed for the second time. Chandeliers were reported missing by her parents as well as jewelry, a flat screen tv, and camera equipment. It is thought that Lutfi had a hand in it, as he had the keys to Britney’s place.

Lutfi’s spokesperson of course denies that he stole anything or wasted the pop star’s money while he was drugging and controlling her, but Britney’s family also has copies of “outrageous invoices and contracts” he sent to her business manager, according to The Enquirer.

Yesterday the court was finally able to serve Lutfi with the restraining order that states he is to have no contact with Britney. The period in which he was supposed to be served with papers before the order became had already run out a day before. A judge ruled that they’re still legally binding, and has extended the restraining order until March 17.

Lutfi’s spokesperson and the LAPD deny that there is any criminal investigation into his activities while he was Britney’s “manager,” but TMZ claims to have an insider source who says that the investigation is very much on.

While there are few things bloggers enjoy more than mocking Jessica Simpson, it seems her universally panned movie “Blonde Ambition” might not have been such a mistake after all. Once execs saw the final cut, they banished the film straight to DVD. However to save Jessica’s ego, they gave it a teeny, tiny limited run at a few theaters in Texas for one weekend. It grossed a (probably) record setting $2000 over the two days. That made Paris Hilton’s recent, disastrous turn in “The Hottie and the Nottie” look like a relatively good business venture in comparison – it brought in $26,000 it’s opening weekend. Still abysmal and embarrassing, though to be fair “The Hottie and the Nottie” opened on 111 screens, whereas “Blonde Ambition” opened on 5. In the competition for who could be the biggest loser, it seemed like Simpson was going to have to tuck her tail between her legs and take the title. BUT! At the last minute, she’s been spared - “Blonde Ambition” managed to take in a not-totally-mortifying $253,008. In the Ukraine. That’s right, Eastern Europe confusingly loves Jessica Simpson.

Is Jessica Simpson the David Hasselhoff of Ukraine? The blond starlet seems to be the toast of the Eastern European nation. Her latest film, Blonde Ambition, hit No. 1 in Ukraine, grossing $253,008 for the weekend of Feb. 14-17, Box Office Mojo reports.

How to explain the comedy’s success abroad? One word: escapism.

“The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies,” Conor Bresnan, editor in chief of Box Office Mojo International, tells PEOPLE. “When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson’s, that’s all that’s needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans. So, films like Blonde Ambition will gross more than No Country for Old Men.

And this may only be the beginning for Blonde Ambition. Next stop: Bulgaria.

[From People]

I understand escapism, but isn’t there a point at which it becomes so bad that you actually feel guilty for watching it? And isn’t pretty much anything starring Jessica Simpson well beyond that point? The film will likely still end up a loser. Generally studios recoup the film’s budget in America and make their profits overseas. Still, it’s a little less embarrassing overall. So if Jessica’s first “empty feel good” film made around $2000 in America and that translated to $253,008 in the Ukraine, and Paris Hilton’s “empty feel good” film made around $26,000 in America, that would translate to… what? I don’t do math. I’m just saying, Paris could still make a killing. Oh the horror. I can’t say why, but somehow I sense that Jessica Simpson is just smart enough to know she should be embarrassed by what happened with her movie, regardless of what the Ukrainian film-going public may think. Something tells me Paris Hilton isn’t that smart.

In case you accidentally didn’t totally hate Liz Hurley, have I got a story for you. Liz is apparently pretty darn cheap. And not in that cute, “I still buy my shoes at Payless” way, but in that “I buy the very best for myself and stiff the little people as brutally as I can” way. Last month, Helen reported that Liz and her husband Arun Nayer stiffed the church at which they were married. The couple had promised to buy the church a set of kneelers as payment. That was considered tacky enough, as the standard donation is $2000. And it’s generally customary to give more based on your wealth – but Liz gave less. And while that was ungracious enough, she and Arun still haven’t ponied up and actually supplied the kneelers. Heaven forbid they actually compensate the church for their services. Unfortunately, this hasn’t been some little oversight that can happen to anyone, it turns out it was very much indicative of Liz’s character.

Several UK papers are reporting that Liz Hurley and Arun Nayer have been accused of paying their maid as little as $2.50 an hour. At times she was forced to work from 7:30 in the morning all the way until 3 in the morning the next day.

Liz Hurley and husband Arun Nayar have been accused of paying their Indian maid as little as £1.20 an hour. Violet d’Souza, who is said to have been brought to Britain by Mr Nayar’s family, claims she was paid in rupees for working up to 70 hours a week at the couple’s Chelsea home.

Ms d’Souza, 31, says she worked several days a week at the Chelsea house, where she also lived. Her chores included cleaning, cooking and babysitting from 7.30am until, on occasions, 3am the next day. According to the Daily Mirror, the couple paid her 8,000 rupees a week - around £100. The equivalent hourly rate would be between £1.40 and £1.60, and sometimes as little as £1.20 if she worked long hours. The legal minimum wage is £5.52. Hurley, 42, is said to be worth £13 million from acting and modeling contracts while Mr Nayar, 43, comes from a wealthy Indian textiles family.

[From the Daily Mail]

The Daily Mirror says that d’Souza withdrew her claims after she was given a five-figure settlement. She was scheduled to have a hearing in front of the employment tribunal tomorrow. Ms. d’Souza was fired without warning by the couple, supposedly after getting into an argument with them. I’m guessing a person can get a little cranky after working for 20 hours in a row. Ms. d’Souza was then immediately kicked out of the residence, which was her only shelter. She took refuge at her aunt’s home, where she learned that she was being paid illegal wages. She was able to get an Oxford-educated lawyer to represent her for free from the Citizens Advice Bureau, so it sounds like she had a legitimate case. I’ve never been a big Liz Hurley fan. There’s something about her that I can’t put my finger on, but I find her distasteful. Now hearing that she’s stiffed a church and paid her maid $200 a week, I find her utterly contemptible and disgusting. Unfortunately she’s settled the claim, so there won’t be any penalty for her. Except for a bit of unkind press.

Here’s Elizabeth Hurley and Arun Nayar at the Women of the Future Awards at Grosvenor Marriott Square Hotel on November 8th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

It appears the nasty divorce settlement proceedings between Heather Mills and Paul McCartney are finally over. After two years of petty squabbling, the two have finally reached a settlement, according to several reputable news outlets. Heather will get $40 million in a lump sum up front, and an additional $5 million a year until the couple’s daughter Beatrice turns 18 in 14 years.

Power-dressed in a black-velvet three-piece pantsuit with a crimson blouse, the former model and social activist couldn’t hide her joy as she walked from London’s High Court yesterday, smiling broadly at everyone.

As part of the deal, Mills agreed to never speak publicly or write in detail about the breakdown of the marriage, according to the Daily Mail. The accord came after Mills and McCartney had gone nose to nose in court for five days last week.

Mills will have main custody of Beatrice, but McCartney, whose fortune is estimated at $1.2 billion, will have equal visitation rights. Beatrice’s 65-year-old dad also agreed to set up a $2 million trust fund that she can access when she turns 18, according to the Daily Mail. Mills plans to live with Beatrice in Britain and either Poland or the Czech Republic, where she hopes to buy a home.

A source told the Daily Mail a verbal agreement was reached just before lunch. “They have a settlement,” a source said. “They have agreed on all points. Nothing much has changed this week. There was a deal at the beginning, but it was a complex one. There have been a few tweaks to the agreements, but those have been mostly changes Heather wanted made.” A hearing, perhaps the final one, is scheduled for Monday.

[From the Daily News]

Now Heather can fade away into obscurity, just like she’s been threatening. Most of us hoped it was a promise instead of a threat. Unfortunately Poland and the Czech Republic are not Antarctica/Outer Space like the rest of the world was hoping, but it’s better than nothing. Poor Beatrice having to grow up with such a loon for a mother. Heather wore a bizarre velvet pinstriped suit to court on Friday. It had big lapels and a horrible red shirt underneath. It was very 1993 of her. I’m fairly certain Sir Paul agreed to the settlement just so he wouldn’t have to look at that ensemble anymore. And that “face” of Heather’s doesn’t help. I don’t think face is even the right word. Something more like, “run over cheese pizza” is a more accurate description for the combination of features stuck onto the front of Heather Mills’ head. On the off chance Ms Mills doesn’t fade away into obscurity as threatened, I’m sure she’ll be bitching and moaning with that hideously malformed mouth of hers in the next week or two.

Pics of Heather Mills and Paul McCartney arriving at court yesterday. Images thanks to PR Photos.