According to several websites, a paparazzo trying to take shots of Matthew McConaughey was attacked by a roving pack of surfers. Okay not roving. But it sounds much scarier that way. It’s hard to make surfers sound threatening, and that’s really the only way I can explain this story. The photographer was assaulted, and his presumably expensive camera was thrown into the ocean. Matthew McConaughey had nothing to do with the attack. Unless he surreptitiously summoned the surfers with some kind of signal.

A paparazzo trying to photograph Matthew McConaughey at the beach told police he was attacked by a mob of surfers who threw his camera in the ocean. The 29-year-old photojournalist told sheriff’s deputies that a large group of surfers near Paradise Cove in Malibu approached him and other paparazzi about 2 p.m. Saturday and demanded the group stop taking pictures and filming.

The celebrity Web site TMZ.com posted a video Sunday showing about a dozen young men in swimsuits approaching what appears to be a group of paparazzi and yelling and swearing at them. A scuffle breaks out after one of the photographers exchanges insults with the group and at first refuses their orders to leave.

“I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you leave right now,” one of the young men in swimsuits tells the photographers. Another shoves a photographer filming the scene, and still another says, “We’ll draw a line in the beach, and we’ll fight for the beach. If you guys win, you can have the beach.”

When one member of the group shouts at a photographer, “Get a … real job,” the photographer replies, “This is a real job. What do you do?” The man replies: “I just drink beer and party.”

[From the Huffington Post]

I just laughed my ass off. “We’ll draw a line in the beach, and we’ll fight for the beach?” Then we’ll have a dance-off, and whoever loses has to burn their leather jacket, and can never dance again! A line in the beach? I love that it’s not a line in the sand. Which would have been MUCH better. I had no idea surfers were so protective of their kind. Matthew McConaughey clearly has some really great friends. Anyone who would have a beach-off is someone worthy of adding to your entourage, my friend.

Note by Celebitchy: TMZ has the video, and you can see a pack of a dozen or so surfers walking over to the paps. They say “get a real f’ing jog” and start arguing. One guy says he called the cops, and you can hear the photographers shouting back in British and Scottish accents. One Scottish photographer says “This is public property. This is a job, what do you do?” Toward the end you can see a guy hitting a photographer with what looks like a baseball bat. The man gets up and staggers away and the video ends.

Matthew McConaughey is shown out surfing with friends on Saturday, thanks to Splash News.

Jamie Lynn Spears running errands on 4/1/08, thanks to Splash
It might be more permissible in L.A., but in Louisiana, tailing a celeb to photograph their every move is better known as stalking. A member of the paparazzi, who has been following Jamie Lynn Spears and her boyfriend Casey Aldridge all over Louisiana and Mississippi, has been arrested for stalking. See, Casey - there’s no need to pull a gun on them, just call the cops!

A celebrity photographer accused of stalking Jamie Lynn Spears and her fiance in a small Mississippi town has been arrested. Edwin W. Merino, 30, of Los Angeles, posted bond Tuesday. He is scheduled to appear in court next week.

Authorities in Liberty, a small town in southwest Mississippi near the Louisiana border, said Merino wouldn’t leave the pregnant Spears and her fiance, Casey Aldridge, alone.

Merino denied the accusations in a phone interview Wednesday with The Associated Press. He said that he was about 200 feet away from the couple using a long lens when he was arrested at a gas station.

The younger Spears and Aldridge have been the subject of intense attention since she announced her pregnancy in December. She said then she was 12 weeks along, which would make the 17-year-old due any time.

Merino said he had little luck taking pictures of the couple and was preparing to leave the area.

“I’ve seen the young man Casey in pictures,” Merino said. “I haven’t worked on them myself. The first time I got a good look at him was in court.”

Spears’ family representatives did not immediately return messages Wednesday.

Merino has worked as a celebrity photographer for five years. He was one of the paparazzi who snared pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears’ older sister, Britney, without underwear.

Merino said he was the only photographer following Spears during most of his four days in the Liberty area.

“I just think since I was the only one there, it was just easier for them to single me out,” Merino said.

[From Yahoo News]

It’s been clear since Jamie Lynn announced her pregnancy that she prefers to be left alone. It’s about time someone nailed one of these guys. They’ve been documenting her every move for months, and it’s very intrusive. Following Jamie Lynn down Robertson Blvd. is one thing, but she’s in Louisiana. Buying deodorant at Wal-Mart. Do we really need to see a picture of that?

Mischa Barton on 3/28/08, credit: Splash. The photos in question can be found on the Daily Mail’s website

Mischa Barton may have gained a scant few pounds since her character met a fateful end on The O.C., but she doesn’t have a bunch of cellulite rippling down her legs like some recent pictures show. (And the girl is gorgeous on the rare occasion when she’s dressed properly.) Mischa says through her rep that recent bikini photos of her that show dimpling cellulite are photoshopped and altered to make it out to be much worse than it is. What’s more is that the guy who took the photos has a vendetta against her, and is the paparazzo who was given a restraining order for harassing Nicole Kidman. He sounds like a real creep in these quotes from the NY Daily News:

“Those photos are doctored,” Barton’s rep, Lisa Perkins, tells us. “I’m not saying she’s perfect, nobody is. But they’ve given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old.”

“Look at the shots that were taken shortly before on a beach in L.A. Did she develop all that cellulite in a couple of weeks? There’s a lot you can do with Photoshopping…”

Barton’s publicist contends that Aussie photographer Jamie Fawcett - whom she calls a “parasite” - is out to make the former “O.C.” star look bad because “she called him out for taking the topless shots.”

Fawcett argues, “I wouldn’t seek to publicly embarrass her with nudity or health issues or body image issues.

“It is a shame that publications tend to highlight an issue that is not fair to a young girl. … However, sometimes these are the things that sell pictures.”

The snapper says he gave Barton fair warning that he was gunning for her when they met while she was on vacation in Australia.

“We spoke to each other on [Henning Island], and that’s when I showed her my camera,” he said. “I did warn her it was a public place, and if she wanted privacy she shouldn’t be there.”

Fawcett denied Barton’s claim that he’s some kind of pervert. “I’m not a perv, and I didn’t intentionally mean to embarrass her. I don’t just set out and start my day thinking I want to get any celebrity topless.

“I once saw Keanu Reeves dancing in the nude on a balcony with a girl and decided not to shoot them.”

[From The NY Daily News]

The paparazzi take those type of pictures because they’re worth more money. When you add a bunch of cellulite they’re even more worthwhile to a crappy rag like the Daily Mail, who makes it their business to make asinine remarks about some celebrity’s body just about every day. Barton should be able to step out onto her balcony though without being photographed. The photographer himself told her he would get her on the beach - not at her hotel.

If only Mischa would stop dressing herself and let someone else do it for her, she could highlight her natural beauty properly. It’s a shame that the one time she’s half-dressed and isn’t wearing an outfit that makes you scratch your head, someone makes her butt and thighs bigger and adds a bunch of cellulite. It’s like she’s doomed to be fug no matter what.

Just when you thought Jessica Simpson might be smartenin’ up, she says something like this.

Simpson says, “I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t want to see Tony (Romo) and me in the (tabloid) pictures. It is a good airplane reading if you throw it away when you get off. I’m good at that.

“I am not the type of person who believes everything she reads, but I like to look at photos and see what people are wearing. That’s interesting to me. Do I read the stories? Not really. I try not to read blogs. The comments are extremely harsh.”

ICYDK

What really gets me is that while Jessica loves these pictures, the rest of us are just mildly disturbed. Do you remember those pictures of her, Tony Romo and the blue icing at his birthday celebration? Yeah, I’m going into therapy as a result, too.

Jessica and Tony are also rumored to be getting engaged, although this is strictly not official. While these rumors have circulated for a few weeks, do you kind of suspect that Jess might be putting them out herself to draw attention away from her sister Ashlee?

Jessica Simpson and her boyfriend Tony Romo have reported confirmed that they are engaged. Sources say friends of the couple were heard toasting their news at a party thrown by P. Diddy last Friday.

“I have never felt better,” Simpson was overheard telling friends. “I am really excited.”

Insiders allege that the singer is determined to get married before her younger sister Ashlee Simpson. Ashlee recently announced her engagement to ‘Fall Out Boy’ rocker Pete Wentz.

“Jessica would love nothing more than to get married before Ashlee. It upsets her that her little sister will be married and she won’t. She gets jealous when Ash gets more attention,” claims the insider.

TransWorldNews

I’m sure that all siblings have issues, but getting married out of competition is not going to make for a happy union - if this story is true.

The way for Jess to go is to get married about two weeks after Ashlee’s wedding. Sure, Ashlee will get married first (sort of, Jessica was married to Nick Lachey before), but Jessica will be able to see what she does and outdo her. Ashlee wears a white dress with 3 foot train? Jess will get a dress that requires nine bridesmaids to assist her walking. Ashlee arrives at the reception in a Cinderella-style horse drawn carriage? Jess arrives in the same carriage, but leaves after midnight in a giant pumpkin pulled by genetically modified mice. You could see her thinking there are mice big enough to pull a carriage.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jessica Simpson is shown at the airport on 2/27/08, thanks to WENN. There aren’t a lot of paparazzi photos of her.

Yesterday Colin Firth was on The Daily Show last night to promote his upcoming movie with Helen Hunt, Then She Found Me. Firth talked about his experiences filming in New York City – mentioning that he’d done all the usual NYC things - “I’m always here for brief periods. I’ve taken in the sights, seen the shows, had my penis photographed…” Jon Stewart makes him go back a bit and relate what happened.

According to Firth, he was in the bathroom at a Broadway show, and while at the urinal noticed a man was taking pictures of him. He asked the man what he was doing, and he responded gruffly (and almost angrily) that he wasn’t taking pictures of him. However he clearly was taking pictures not just of Colin Firth using the urinal but of his penis.

Colin said he tried to push the camera away (which means the guy must have been pretty damn close and pretty damn obvious) - with what he admitted was a slightly girly push. When he started to think he should confront the guy or do something more, he admitted he couldn’t decide what to do, noting, “It’s hard to do when you’re not entirely in your pants.” Touché.

He joked that if you Google “Colin Firth Penis” you’ll probably find the picture out there – and while that doesn’t appear to be the case (yet), there are lots of people referencing his appearance and asking for the picture. Oh and by the way, I only Googled that for research and to see what other people were saying. Not looking. And now I’m uncomfortable.

Here’s the clip from The Daily Show.

Gwyneth Paltrow thinks Britney Spears has been driven insane – and it’s all because of the paparazzi. I think Gwyneth may be the first celebrity to all-out call Britney Spears insane. And considering that Brit seems to have gotten a little better lately, I’m guessing that that might sting a bit. But either way, Gwyneth has accused the paparazzi of making Britney Spears literally go insane.

Gwyneth Paltrow has accused Adnan Ghalib and the paparazzi of pushing Britney Spears over the edge. She said the media frenzy surrounding Spears and her relationship with the Birmingham-born snapper had caused her to go “insane”.

Paltrow, whose own marriage to Chris Martin has been scrutinised in the press, said: “Look at what they’ve done to Britney. The paparazzi and magazines have blood on their hands. They literally made her go insane.

“She’s got classic Stockholm Syndrome - she fell in love with a paparazzo and went insane. The photographers and editors of these magazines have such bad karma. It’s pretty dark.”

[From Digital Spy]

Britney seems to have gotten better lately, and has been avoiding the paparazzi. Maybe there’s a connection between the two. Of course having someone else make decisions for her probably helps a lot too. Because Britney’s been reigned to such an extreme degree (which seems to be a good thing) it’s hard to tell if she’s really gotten better or if we just aren’t seeing the crazy out and about and on display.

Gwyneth’s reaction to the paparazzi’s treatment of Britney could explain the lengths she goes to in avoiding them, and keeping her kids sheltered from photographers. Husband Chris Martin has also been known to strike out at paps that get too close to his family. Everything considered, maybe that’s not a bad thing.

Here’s Gwyneth Paltrow with Elizabeth Hurley at the Breast Cancer Research Foundation’s ‘Hottest Pink Party Ever 2008′ at The Waldorf Astoria yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

A paparazzo who was following Jamie Lynn Spears and her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, while they were riding a 4-wheel ATV, claims that Aldridge flashed a gun at him and told him to get lost. TMZ has video of the confrontation and has highlighted an object in the ATV in the video, saying it’s a gun.

Jamie Lynn Spears is packin’ baby, but her man is packin’ too, and he’s pointing his piece at a photog! Casey Aldridge was pissed at a pap who allegedly shot this video on private property — Jamie says it was private, the pap says it wasn’t. Anywho, watch closely as Casey takes the gun from his lap and kinda points it in the direction of the pap, telling him to get the hell on a public road. Yessir!

[From TMZ]

I looked at the video several times and couldn’t see this gun they are pointing at in big red letters, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. The thing that struck me most about this video is that Jamie Lynn’s boyfriend is a bona fide hillbilly: Riding around in a 4-wheeler with a dog and a cooler in the back- and that accent is straight out of “Deliverance.” If Jamie-Lynn marries this kid, she can forget about her acting career– instead, I see NASCAR Sundays, Coors Light party balls, and domestic disturbance calls to the trailer park in her future. Jesus H. Christ, the Spears girls have abominable taste in men, don’t they?

Jamie Lynn and Casey are shown out on her 17th birthday on 4/4/08, thanks to Splash News.

Britney surrounded by paparazzi earlier this year. It looks like that’s Silva to the right of her.
Photographer Alison Silva is suing paparazzi photo agency X17 after he was beaten unconscious by their photographers outside Britney Spears’ house. On March 5, Silva says he was parked a block away from Britney’s house when three photographers working for X17 ganged up on him, beating and kicking him while he lay on the ground. He had to go to the hospital for treatment for a broken nose and head trauma.

Alison Silva told MTV News that on March 5, he had parked one block away from Spears’ home when three X17 photographers — whom he identified as Thomas Madiana, Carlos Madiana and Max Rinadelle — allegedly approached him and said, “You should not be here. Only X17 gets these shots.” Silva claims that one of the photographers punched him and knocked him to the ground, then the three kicked him to the point where he passed out. When he came to, he claims they were kicking him in the face. “I didn’t know what was going on,” he said.

Three witnesses called 911, and Silva was taken by ambulance to the emergency room with a police escort, according to the police report. One of the witnesses told police officers that he heard one of the attackers say, “Let’s go f— him up, there are 10 of us here,” saw one of the attackers go get a metal tube from his car for that purpose, and heard another attacker say, “Don’t kill him! Don’t kill him!”, according to the report…

“They kicked and punched me almost to death,” Silva said. “I was beat up for doing my job. Most people think, ‘Oh, he’s just a paparazzo, he’s nothing.’ But this is not nothing. This is a big business, and if it weren’t for people like me, those pictures wouldn’t be in the magazines you enjoy.”

Silva asks for unspecified general and punitive damages in his suit, in which he accuses X17 of battery; assault; false imprisonment; intentional infliction of emotional distress; negligent infliction of emotional distress; negligence; and negligent training, supervision and retention of unfit employees.

[From MTV News via Gawker]

Gawker points out that it’s not like X17 owners denied that the beating occurred. Owner Brandy Navarre is quoted as saying the suit won’t hold up because the photographers are freelancers, not employees, and that “They give me their pictures but whatever they do on their own is their own business.”

In February there was a story that photo agencies were hiring gang members to muscle out competition and get access to shots of Britney, and given this latest accusation that story doesn’t seem so far off.

Photographers may be getting desperate for another reason. Britney isn’t driving around aimlessly all day or getting in mishaps now that she’s under her father’s care and that’s bad for the paparazzi’s business. Yahoo’s OMG! quotes X17 photographer Felipe, as saying that “After [Britney’s dad] took over the conservatorship, it got really, really slow for us.” Owner Brandy Navarre is quoted as telling Access Hollywood that “The subject of the photo is just not as interesting as it once was, so the prices do go down.” She also says they have only three photographers down from ten on Britney now, and that “We’re moving on to other celebrities like Brad and Angelina and Jamie Lynn Spears.”

The quotes from X17’s owner remind me of the end of the Britney Spears South Park episode, in which the townspeople hone in on their next target to ritualistically sacrifice. At least Britney really hasn’t been photographed to death, and has managed to rebuild some semblance of a normal life.

Britney had a relatively quiet Easter. She spent the holiday at her old home in Malibu with her mom and dad, and they were seen walking along the beach. Just stay boring, Britney.

Remember last week, when Paris Hilton was seen around town with a guy dressed like a shaman? That story turned out to be fake, but that wasn’t the whole story. Paris and her fake guru were part of a new reality prank show on E! Network called “Pop Fiction.” The show is executive produced by Ashton Kutcher and the premise is this: what if celebrities who are hounded by the paparazzi decided to ‘fight back’ by faking stories of their own? The goal of show, according to producers, is the shake up the paparazzi and celebrity gossip mags, to make them think twice about printing news. It’s like a vigilante version of “Punk’d.”

The half-hour show featured two segments. The first was Paris and her fake guru. Paris, in an interview, says that she decided to participate in the show after a fake item ran about her starting a charity to help save drunken elephants in India. That rumor was actually picked up by the AP News, and they were later forced to print a retraction. The show pointed out that within hours, news of Paris and her guru was all over the Internet and the subject of blogs around the globe.

“Next time you read the tabloids, ask yourself if it’s real or if it’s pop fiction,” she warned.

In the second segment, pop singer Avril Lavigne led on the paparazzi by sporting a fake baby bump while shopping on Robertson Blvd. in L.A. She predicted that she wouldn’t be able to walk one block without being submerged by paparazzi. “Robertson is where you go when you want attention,” she said. (Are you listening, Britney?) She then waded through paparazzi with her husband and some friends to shop at Baby Kitson and Lisa Kline Kids, trendy boutiques featuring kids’ clothes. She was quick to call her mother and warn her that she might see pictures or read about Avril’s pregnancy, and that it wasn’t true. Twenty minutes later, the show says, there were photos of Avril all over the Internet confirming her “pregnancy.”

Life & Style Magazine reports that Avril Lavigne went out of her way to hide a suspicious belly bump while eating at the Beverly Grand restaurant in Los Angeles on March 13th. “She insisted on putting on her jacket before she got out of the car,” an eyewitness revealed. “When she did get out, it was like, ‘Whoa,’ she looks so pregnant!’” The 21-year-old singer is currently engaged to Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, 25.

[From Popdirt.com]

As a member of the so-called “gossip rag” militia, I have mixed feelings about this show. Here at Celebitchy, we really want to get the information right. We are probably one of the few gossip blogs that will correct our facts if we get them wrong, and we often have a “take this story with a grain of salt” attitude. But we’re well aware that Celebitchy is in the minority on this philosophy. These kinds of pranks are going to make it more difficult to get our facts in line, but I certainly understand the concept behind them. The paparazzi and many gossip outlets definitely overstep their boundaries these days and continuously cross the line into obscene amounts of privacy invasion. The actor who played Paris’ guru hit the nail on the head when, after the pair are swarmed by cameras, he says, “I would probably be the guy who punches a paparazzi.”

I wonder if Ashton Kutcher will continue to get high-profile celebs involved in the pranks on the show. I also wonder if anyone is actually going to watch this show: it’s on at 10:30 on Sunday night. On E! Network. Not exactly a ringer in the ratings department, if you ask me.

Note by Celebitchy: We covered that Avril Lavigne story, but it wasn’t a very original concept. A married pop star sports a little bump and goes shopping at baby stores at the largest paparazzi-target shopping area in the world. Of course people are going to say she’s pregnant. They need to step it up a little if they want to create decent shows. The Paris Hilton guru story was pretty interesting. JayBird covered that Avril shopping for baby clothes story and was quite subdued about it, she said “I would say the traditional ‘Congrats to the happy couple,’ but with someone like Avril Lavigne, she’s probably apt to punch me in the eye for it.”

No one really gives a shit about Avril except to say she shouldn’t reproduce.

Though I am now a very happy writer, I have a degree in criminal justice. And though writing and the law don’t exactly go hand in hand, sometimes the two intersect in a blissful moment I like to call “JayBird’s nirvana.” Though I tend to use my real name when talking to myself, because talking to myself under my pseudonym would be absolutely unstable. Today William Bratton, L.A.P.D. Police chief, responded to the propositioned paparazzi law proposed by Councilman Dennis Zine. Zine wants to protect our beloved celebrities from the aggressive paparazzi. And while he has a point, Chief Bratton’s response was absolutely priceless.

What we need is Britney Spears to stay home instead of traipsing all over town. That would solve the problem. We don’t need additional laws…. I’ve got laws coming out my ears to deal with this issue.

What you have is several young women in this town and several young men basically making fools of themselves and tying up not only my resources but the resources of the media that would do better covering legitimate stories instead of a bunch of airheads running around out there….

Quite clearly some of these characters so favored by the paparazzi are clearly in need of services. Not police services, but psychiatric services.

[From the Huffington Post]

That’s one of the many things I love about those in law enforcement: they have a way of cutting through the bullshit and just saying it. I realize he didn’t technically say Britney Spears needs psychiatric services, as that would be a bit irresponsible. But the implication was pretty clear – and he’s totally right. Britney courts the paparazzi. That in and of itself might be a sign of instability and a sign she needs help. It’s obviously hard to speak for all celebs and what they go through with photographers. But the people that are most hogging police services are the ones who most court the attention. She needs to stay home and stop spending hours and hours each day driving around aimlessly, causing traffic jams and running red lights. And maybe listen to that suggestion about some psychiatric help too.

Note: Celebitchy and I were working on this story at the same time. Here is her take on it - it’s a little more analytical, thoughtful, and compassionate, because that’s how she rolls.

---

The LAPD police chief blames the celebrity “victims” for the paparazzi problems in his city. Chief William Bratton said there is no need for a proposed law that would create a zone of personal space around people of interest to the media, and blames the celebrities themselves for courting the attention. He said that if Britney just stayed home instead of “traipsing all over town” she wouldn’t have these problems, and that the celebrities that were most followed were “basically making fools of themselves.” He added that many of “these characters… are clearly in need of [psychiatric services]”

Britney went out without underwear twice this week, so the police chief does have a somewhat valid argument. He says that celebrities are “traipsing around” though, when many of them are just trying to do things that we all do like shopping or going out to dinner, but in the Hollywood fishbowl where everything is captured for our greedy consumption. I think the issue is not that the celebrities should be made prisoners in their own homes, something that Britney has complained about after her father took control of her affairs, but that there are so many damn paparazzi where they live who are following them around.

Maybe this guy should just tell the celebrities to move and take their tax money with them. In his mind it’s probably just a handful of people causing all the problems anyway and he could be right. It’s all Britney/Lohan/Paris/Brangelina in the photos and the gossip rags.

A decent solution might be that the paparazzi are just allowed to stay outside certain nightclubs and restaurants, with the permission of the owners and management. They can also come to other locations if a celebrity or their rep calls and invites them. The paparazzi wouldn’t be allowed to follow and stalk celebrities, or to stake out their homes, gyms, or grocery stores. That way, if people want to get their picture taken they can show up at the Ivy for lunch or call the paparazzi and tell them where they are.

You can sort of point fingers at Paris, Britney, and Lohan for the photographers that swarm them, but it’s gotten so out of hand that it sounds too simplistic to say they’re the cause of all the paparazzi problems in that city. You certainly can’t blame them for the media focus on celebrities. Some of them love the attention but it’s not like they have much control over it, unless they take off their panties and flash us like Britney does.

Britney Spears is shown shopping at the Forever 21 store at the Beverly Center. That explains a lot of her clothing choices. Images thanks to WENN.