We know that The Bieb has a successful line of nail polish out, since tweens who aren’t allowed to wear makeup yet are usually permitted to get mani pedis at the salon with their moms. Now he’s got some perfume too, called Someday, for the little ladies who want to attract their very own androgynous pixie with purple high tops. At least that’s the impression I get from this commercial for the Bieber scent. A model sprays on some perfume and gets transported to a world where Justin Bieber finds her irresistible. This is like if Puck made Titania fall in love with himself instead of with the guy with the ass head. For some pre-pubescent girls it’s a fantasy, but those of us who bleed every month recognize the folly that it is.

In related Justin Bieber news, there’s a lot of “oooh, are you gonna marry her?” choruses now that 17 year-old Justin was seen kissing his girlfriend, 18 year-old Selena Gomez, at the Billboard Music Awards. It wasn’t all that dramatic, and Justin just gave Selena a kiss when he won Top New Artist before he went up on stage to accept the award. He also kissed his mom.

Justin and Selena were just spotted on vacation together in Hawaii. It’s not their first vacation either, they were seen cuddling in the Caribbean in January.

Here’s Justin celebrating his five wins at the Billboard Music Awards.

photo credit: WENN.com

Above is the new print ad for Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s new fragrance. Don’t look for a second and tell me what you think their joint fragrance should be called. “Giant & Giantess” was my first guess. “Fee Fie Foe Fum” perhaps. No, I jest. I love Khloe, and I get a kick out of Lamar. But that print ad for “Unbreakable” is ridiculous. The Kardashians just have issues with print media. And photographs. And Christmas cards. And jobs. And drag queens who wear less makeup than them.

Eau la la! Khloe Kardashian and husband Lamar Odom are packing on the PDA for a sexy new print ad touting their fragrance, “Unbreakable.” Married since September 2009, Kardashian, 26, and Odom, 31, advertise their first fragrance venture in an array of black and white images, including one where they’re sharing a steamy smooch.

“This project has been in the works for months now and we were involved every step of the way to make sure the fragrance was a true fusion of ourselves and our personalities,” Kardashian wrote on her Celebuzz.com blog Friday.

“People literally stop me and ask what I’m wearing and the fact that I can say my own fragrance blows my mind!” she adds. “I can’t stop smelling myself.”

The unisex scent – sold exclusively at Perfumania stores starting February 12 — isn’t their only joint venture. The couple is currently filming their very own E! spinoff series.

According to an insider, the new reality show will have the vibe of Bravo’s Bethenny Getting Married. “They’re so cute, playing off one another,” the source told UsMagazine.com of Kardashian and Odom.

The series, tentatively titled Khloe and Lamar, will also feature Khloe’s brother, Robert Kardashian, as he embarks on a music career.

[From Us Weekly]

Do you want to smell like Khloe? I would imagine she smells better than Kim, who, in my mind, smells like wax, burning plastic and almost-suppressed farts. Khloe’s fragrence probably has tequila top notes, and a base of Funions and salsa. Not bad, honestly.

Here are some photos of Khloe on Friday at some event. She looks kind of drunk. Hate the necklace, love the hair.

Unbreakable ad courtesy of Khloe’s Celebuzz site. Additional pics by WENN.

I was trying to avoid doing this story, but I guess I have to. According to random sources, Lady Gaga has some unique ideas for the perfume that she’s branding. Gaga isn’t just going to let the professionals do their work and pick out some florals and citrus scents for Gaga to slap her name on. No, Gaga is involved with the perfume every step of the way, and she allegedly has an opinion on what the perfume should smell like: blood and semen. Seriously, my gag reflex is in overdrive today already (I think I’m getting something, I feel especially barfy). I cannot even concentrate on this too much, because I might end up throwing up.

Celebrity perfumes are a dime a dozen. You can smell like Kim Kardashian, Posh Spice, Taylor Swift, Reese Witherspoon– almost any Tinsel Towner you like.

But Lady Gaga isn’t your typical, sweet-smelling celeb. She’s far, far from it. According to Fashionista.com, the shocking superstar is developing her first fragrance, and Mother Monster has reportedly requested that the scent “smell of blood and semen.”

Hmm, bodily fluids haven’t had as much success as say, lavender or hibiscus in the world of fragrance, but Gaga is the queen of reinvention and pushing the envelope. And even though most of us probably don’t think we want to smell like blood or semen, I bet this racy new product will sell out instantly around the world.

But Little Monsters, please take my advice and wait for Gaga’s perfume to go on sale at a store near you. While making a miniature version of her meat dress might be pretty cool, a homemade concoction of blood and semen is not a scent you should purposefully try to recreate.

[From PopEater]

Does blood have a smell? I know it has a taste – metallic. But I’ve never sniffed an open wound, so I have no idea. As for “semen”… ugh. Ooooh, here comes the bile. I’m sorry if any of you are reading this before or after lunch. Ugh.

All of that being said, I kind of doubt this. I mean, Gaga might have said something along these lines to someone, but I doubt her perfume is going to end up smelling like this.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

It was announced earlier this year that Natalie Portman was working on a deal to become the “face” of a perfume from the house of Dior. Now we know which one – Miss Dior Cherie. I can’t say that I’ve ever smelled it, but as a rule, I tend to avoid all Dior perfumes because I find them so heavy. This one sounds like it could be one of their lighter scents, though. And what’s more important is that Natalie is now very, very closely associated with a luxury brand. Dior produced many of the costumes for Black Swan. Natalie has worn mostly Dior while promoting Black Swan. Natalie has began attending events for Dior. Not bad, Dior. The new ads will premiere in the new year, but Natalie recently gave an interview to Allure about her gig:

Allure: When do you wear perfume?
NP: On special occasions. On Valentine’s Day. If it’s a big night out with someone I love. It’s like putting on nice jewelry. I think it makes every woman feel more feminine.

Allure: What’s the one product you use every day?
NP: Joëlle Ciocco Sensitive Cleansing Milk. It smells delicious; it’s really natural, and it protects my skin.

Allure: What’s a look you love on others but don’t think you can pull off yourself?
NP: I’m slowly being eased into red lipstick. I think it looks really chic on other people, but I always felt a bit silly with it on.

Allure: What’s a beauty trend you’d never try in a million years?
NP: Plastic surgery. I feel like everyone is trying to look like the same person, and it usually makes people look older than they are.

Allure: Growing up in front of the camera, did you develop any beauty hang-ups?
NP: Having a mole on my cheek was the biggest thing. When I did photo shoots, they would Photoshop it out. No one ever said anything to my face, but I felt like I was being told that it was ugly. Finally, I had to say, “No! This is part of me.” I’m not a model. I’m being photographed because of who I am—and that includes the mole!

Allure: When you’re working on a film, how do you relax?
NP: Acupuncture on my pressure points keeps me balanced and calms my nerves.

Allure: What’s your typical workout?
NP: Three or four times a week, I’ll swim or use the elliptical. Swimming is very meditative. I can’t hear anything under the water; it’s just me and my silence for 45 minutes to an hour. And it really gets every part of my body at once.

Allure: Who are your beauty icons?
NP: I love Audrey Hepburn, of course, with her cat eyes and thick eyebrows. And I love Lauren Hutton in the ’70s with those curls and her big eyes and her beautiful teeth!

[From Allure]

Not bad, Dior. You got yourself an A-list shill who is a heavy contender for Best Actress – Natalie will probably wear Dior on every major awards red carpet. But here’s the real question: will Natalie wear her bitchface for every event? Because I don’t see why a luxury brand would want to associate themselves with looking and feeling surly.

Sidenote: I am allowing for the idea that Natalie has a “natural bitchface” – meaning that her face just looks like that when she’s not smiling. I have a natural bitchface too! People always think I’m pissy when I’m not even pulling a face.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I know, I hate covering Paris Hilton in general, but sometimes it’s a little fun, in the same way it’s fun in a cheap, easy, gross way to cover the Kardashians. Paris Hilton launched her new perfume last night in LA. The perfume is called “Tease”. Because Paris is a “tease” – get it? Because we don’t know ANYTHING about her, because we can’t read her big, dumb face like an open book, because she’s such a woman of mystery and enchantment. I wish she would have a sense of humor about herself and call the perfume “Trash with Money” or “Unemployed” or “Oxygen Thief”. Alas, Paris never takes my suggestions.

Anyway, I wanted to take about how Paris looked for the launch. Did she get a boob job? Or are her girls just jacked up beyond belief? I don’t honestly think chicken cutlets and the best push up bra in the world could make Paris look this boob-tastic. Also: the Marilyn thing. She’s done it a million times before, as has Lindsay Lohan and a million other girls. Why don’t these women ever realize that they’re grossly slandering their beloved icon? When I see Paris looking like a Botoxy 40-year-old prostitute with a Marilyn fetish, I don’t think “Oh, Marilyn would be so proud.” I think, “Poor Marilyn, look at what you’ve become for generations of celebutards.”

One more thing: is this a wig? If it’s a wig, it’s a really good one.

Paris on August 10, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Can you believe this sh-t? Real designers, real fashion houses, real style-makers are lining up to work with everybody’s favorite panda-faced pantless brat, Taylor Momsen. She’s 16 years old, she has a gutter mouth and a Megan Fox-esque habit of saying dumb, offensive, asinine bullsh-t, and she refuses to wear pants! Plus, the blackened eyes, the jailbait short skirts and garter belts, the stubborn need to copy moves from Cherie Currie and Courtney Love, all while never for once admitting it or paying appropriate homage. All of it. And it’s now legit, fashion-wise. Madonna and John Galliano have given her the nod of approval.

Is Gossip Girl Taylor Momsen the style world’s new darling?

After being unveiled as the face of Madonna’s new Material Girl clothing collection just last week, it’s now emerged that the 16-year-old starlet will front the campaign for John Galliano’s new fragrance, set to launch this autumn.

This will be Momsen’s biggest modeling gig to date, after making her debut in the New Look ads last year.

And fashion is clearly important to the wannabe rocker – she told MTV yesterday that she had fired her stylist so as to take more control over her look: ‘I think firing my stylist has allowed me to be more free. I was getting moulded into this thing that wasn’t who I am.’

[From Marie Claire UK]

Oh, there’s even more from Taylor’s MTV interview too – when asked to describe her style, this is what she said:

“That’s the hardest question to answer, to describe my style, because I don’t think that much about it, I kind of just dress in what makes me feel comfortable. I like a lot of leather, I like a lot dresses, I’ve been known to be provactive, but it’s not for any other purpose! I dress for myself, I do myself up kind of like a doll. I have a doll collection and I look at their outfits and kind of imitate them. I love Chanel… I don’t go shopping that much, I still wear pieces from when I was in f**king middle school.”

What kind of ridiculous whore dolls does this kid have? Also: “when I was in f-cking middle school“? So, like, two years ago? She still has clothes from two years ago! ZOMG HARDCORE.

Taylor Momsen on March 4, 2010, and January 14, 2010. Credit: WENN.

A mentally ill man was arrested last week on Sunset Boulevard while trolling around trying to find Jennifer Aniston. Diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic Jason R. Peyton, 24, drove from Pennsylvania to California with the intent of kidnapping and marrying Aniston, according to his mother and his own statements, as outlined in a restraining order filed with the court. Aniston has never met or had any contact with Peyton, who was carrying duct tape, a “sharp object” a bag and messages for her when he was apprehended. He spent a full eight days looking for her after being able to find her home. To make matters worse, Peyton has a history of violent behavior and stalking. In 2008, he was arrested for attempting to abduct a female neighbor with whom he was obsessed. He also physically attacked his mother at least four times. He’s currently being detained on a psychiatric hold and awaiting a court hearing on August 9.

Jennifer Aniston has been granted a restraining order against a stalker suspect who’d driven cross-country to be with her in a car that had messages including “I love Jennifer Aniston” and “I love you Jennifer Aniston” carved into its hood and driver’s side door.

Unable to locate the actress’ home address, Jason R. Peyton was arrested July 15 on Sunset Boulevard hanging out and looking for her near businesses he believes she frequents. He was placed on a psychiatric hold, according to documents obtained by TMZ.

The restraining order, granted Tuesday, was based on evidence of stalking and a credible threat of violence. Court papers filed describe Peyton as “a diagnosed delusional and paranoid schizophrenic, with a history of violence and criminal harassment and stalking, including an apparent planned abduction of a former stalking victim.”

He was, the documents said, found “laying-in-wait” for Aniston in possession of …

… a sharp object, a roll of duct tape and written messages to the actress — including baby names for the child he hoped they’d have together. He allegedly believes he’s been secretly mentally communicating with her for two years.
Peyton’s parents reported him missing after he took off from his Pennsylvania around June 25, leaving a note that said he was going to California; he called his mother while he was on the road, and she contacted L.A. police after he told her he was “on a mission to go to Jennifer Aniston” and that she would “hear about it on the news.” According to court papers, he has attempted suicide at least four times; has a history of assaulting women, including his own mother, when he doesn’t get what he wants; and has been institutionalized repeatedly.

It’s not the first time Aniston has found herself in scary stalker circumstances — a homeless man jumped her fence and entered her home in August 2005, fortunately while she was away on location.

[From The LA Times]

TMZ has a picture of this guy’s car, and he has “I Love Jennifer Aniston” etched into the side and “I Love You Jennifer Aniston” on the hood, which at least made him easy to find. He told officers that “Jennifer communicated to me mentally that she wants me to come and marry her, and wants me to be the father of her children. We love each other… I’m not going to stop until we meet.

In the petition requesting a three year restraining order, [available on TMZ] which was filed by a lawyer for Jennifer Aniston and signed by her, it states that “Peyton’s fixation, obsessive conduct, and stalking has caused Petitioner [Aniston] to become seriously alarmed, annoyed and harassed, and has caused her, as would any reasonable person, to suffer distress… Petitioner has become seriously alarmed and has real and reasonable fears for her safety, and that of her friends, representatives, and those around her.”

The petition even includes a personal statement from Aniston, which states, in part, “Mr. Peyton’s on-going, ever-increasing, aggressive and harassing conduct are extremely distressing. I fear for my personal safety, and that of those around me.”

That’s so scary and I hope that Aniston can find some consolation that the guy is in custody. From what I know she has no personal security team (although it’s hard to tell – we rarely see clear paparazzi photos of her lately) and maybe she’ll hire protection for her own peace of mind.

NOTE BY KAISER: These photos were just released of Jennifer at her perfume launch in London, at Harrod’s. I like the soft pink mini-dress, it’s very pretty. The bodice bows are a little cutesy, but whatever. Also: Aniston’s perfume is no longer called Lolavie – no more “laughing at life” – because it’s too close to Marc Jacob’s LOLA or something. So now it’s just called “Jennifer Aniston”. Eh.

Photos of Aniston in London on July 21, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Back in April, Jennifer Aniston released the first ad for her new perfume, Lolavie, which in Aniston-speak means “laughing at life”. The first ad image was a bit disconnected from this “I’m laughing, y’all” message, as it featured Aniston wrapped in a towel , sitting on some rocks, looking all alone and sad. Sure, it was a striking image, but there was a disconnect (commenter Sigh theorized, “This what happens when you are even slightly ‘Butlered (If you survive).’ You wake up the next day, half-dressed, shivering, sore, and washed up on the shore of nowhere…note the “WTF?” expression and all.
I shall name this pic ‘The Morning After: Cautionary Tale.’”) So I don’t know if Aniston decided to do away with the first image or if this is an extension of the previous campaign, but there are new (blurry) images from the Lolavie campaign that feature Aniston topless. She looks good… but this looks like every other magazine photo shoot she does, right? It looks like her GQ shoots, her Vanity Fair shoot, etc. Ooh, she’s going to be launching Lolavie this week too!

Jennifer Aniston will be in Harrods this week to launch her new fragrance exclusively at the department store. The Friends star will be signing bottles of her first fragrance, which has the title ‘The Debut Fragrance by Jennifer Aniston’, in Harrods’ Georgian Restaurant from 1-2pm this Wed 21 July.

Jennifer has worked closely with Falic Fashion Group (yes, we had a giggle about that too) to create a signature fragrance that is unique to her.

“I wanted this fragrance to be a personal library of scent memories. For example, my love of night-blooming jasmine has lasted a lifetime. Growing up in California, I distinctly remember the scent of jasmine on summer evenings,” says Jennifer.

As well as the US, Jennifer took inspiration from childhood holidays to Greece and days at the beach. “No aroma is quite so…exhilarating. The combination of the salty air and tropical oils reminds me of long sunny days on the beach – pure happiness,” she adds.

The floral fragrance which includes rose, wild violet and Amazon lily dries down to a woody aroma of musk, golden amber and sandalwood. Jennifer took inspiration from the distinct smell of wood fires at friends’ houses on summer evenings as an inspiration for the base notes.

Jen also wanted the bottle to reflect her personality. Her love of architecture (she graced the March 2010 cover of Architectural Digest) was inspiration for the bottle; it references the flow of a Frank Gehry building combined with the fluidity and organic form of a cresting wave.

Jennifer Aniston’s debut fragrance is exclusive to Harrods and harrods.com and will be available in three sizes 30ml £23, 50ml £29 and 85ml £36.

Purchase is necessary to receive Jennifer’s signature and queues will open from 10am on Wednesday.

[From Elle UK]

So it has notes of “rose, wild violet and Amazon lily” and “musk, golden amber and sandalwood”. Jeez, that sounds like a really, really heavy scent. The musk and sandalwood alone is enough for me to pass on this one. As far as Jennifer’s “love of architecture” and the interesting timing of her big perfume launch… well… it’s all very interesting, and let’s leave it at that.

Ads courtesy of HuffPo & The Daily Mail.

Oh. Dear. God. This is the print ad for Jessica Simpson’s new fragrance called… wait for it… “Fancy Nights”. Oh. Jesus. Fancy Nights?!? Are you for real, Jessica? Who named your perfume, a team of monkeys and 12-year-olds? And who approved this cartoon-looking ad? It looks like the kind of cheesy image made to appeal to a tween Twihard, doesn’t it? Like a sparkly vampire is about to walk down those stairs and whisper “I feel fancy!” CoverAwards summarizes: “It’s a pretty chintzy name for a pretty chintzy-looking advertising. This looks like the cover of a bargain bin romance book.” And for the obvious joke: Jessica needs a Fancy Nights perfume because in reality, she only has farty nights.

According to People Magazine, this is the third perfume from Jessica’s “Fancy” series – she also has a perfume called “Fancy Love” (which had a much better ad). Jessica told People that Fancy Nights is “a deeper, richer scent–more provocative! A fragrance can lead you deeper into a mood. Fancy Nights gives me the chance to express a more romantic side of my personality.” Apparently it is a “spicy scent” (will not make a fart joke) with notes of bergamot, patchouli, rose, jasmine and papyrus. Sounds like a very heavy scent.

Speaking of fanciness and farting, Radar has an “exclusive” about just what is really going on with Jessica and Jeremy Renner. It’s pretty much what we all suspected – she and Jeremy were just doing it all “for the publicity”. A source tells Radar: “Jeremy has actually been dating a New York-based blonde who isn’t Jessica on and off for the past few months. She asked Jeremy when the story about him and Jessica came out and he said they were just friends and that it was just for publicity.” Hm… sounds like the source is the “New York-based blonde” doesn’t it? I didn’t really think anything was going on between Jeremy and Jess, but now I’m wondering…

By the way, I keep using these photos of Jessica so that she will LEARN. Get yourself new hair and makeup people, Jess. There’s no reason for you to step out looking like this.

Jessica Simpson ad, courtesy of CoverAwards.

Is this the big, fat potato face that will sell millions of bottles of cologne? Not so much. This Gerard Butler leaving a radio interview yesterday – look at his eyes. The photo caption at INF says he has “bloodshot eyes” but I think we’re looking at something a lot more serious. This sh-t looks like he burst a blood vessel, or he’s got a horrible case of pinkeye. I had pinkeye once – it really is no joke, and it looks a lot worse than this. My guess is a burst blood vessel, which from what I hear is also very painful. Anyway, Gerard is in London promoting Law Abiding Citizen, and he waxes rhapsodic about how he would like to join the ranks of Ewan McGregor and Clive Owen in being the “face” of a cologne. Yeah… that’s not going to happen, Pinkeye.

Scottish actor Gerard Butler is jealous of actors like Clive Owen and Ewan McGregor who have their own fragrances and is keen to develop his own signature scent. Gerard admits there’s a lot of work to be done before the perfume is released because he’s got no idea what he wants it to smell like.

“I need a perfume,” the 40-year-old star told BBC Radio 1’s Scott Mills Show. “I need to tell my publicist to get on that. He’s not got me any worthwhile branding. Clive Owen has his aftershave, Ewan McGregor has cologne. What do I have? Nothing. I don’t know what it would be like, but I need one.”

Gerard is famous for his rugged good looks, but he recently revealed it takes him “hours” to achieve his trademark dishevelled appearance.

He said: “It’s amazing how much time and effort it takes for me to look rumpled.”

[From The Skinny]

Hahahaha…gross. Take a bath, jerk. I mean, I love my guy, my future husband, my immortal beloved and everything, but he seriously needs to shower, shave and gargle with some mouthwash. I’ll totally get on that when we’re married. As for Ewan and Clive – well, they’re hot and sexy, and they always look clean, you know? Especially Clive. In Clive’s Lancome Hypnose ads, you can just know that motherf-cker smells good. Ewan has his moments where he looks like he sort of smells, but his Davidoff ads play into his sort of rugged, “I’ll do you in the woods and you’ll love it” mystique.

In other Gerard news, he joked around with photographers by “pulling a Michael Jackson” and dangling a blanket-covered fake baby out of his hotel window (photographs here). Now people are all up in arms, saying sh-t like “it’s too soon” and “respect the dead, dude”. I think Gerry’s getting a bad rap on that one – I mean, when Michael Jackson did, the world sort of imploded and everyone criticized him for it. Gerry was just having a little fun. Instead of playing around with the paparazzi, though, he should try using his hotel room to, you know, take a shower.

Here’s Gerry and his “bloodshot eyes” leaving Capital Radio in London, UK on November 18, 2009. Credit: INFphoto.com