Sarah Ferguson is crazy. I think we’ve established that by now. Not only is she just flat-out crazy, Fergie actually offends me and others with her insanity by claiming that she’s this wonderful mother (she’s not, she’s a narcissistic drama queen) or that she “loves” the idea that both she and Princess Diana weren’t at the royal wedding. For real. Anyway, Fergie is still in the midst of a publicity tour to promote her show on OWN (Oprah’s network). This morning, she gave an interview to Today, and it’s a lot of the same crap that we heard in Fergie’s Harper’s Bazaar interview. Pity poor Fergie, she’s a victim of her own generosity! The media is so mean! She’s so wonderful and selfless and no one ever gives her credit for being so awesome!

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Ah. Her story about selling influence to the royal family is now a “tabloid setup” – her story has changed yet again. She also changed her story about watching the royal wedding! Jesus, she just lies all of the time. She told Oprah that she did in fact watch the wedding in Thailand. Now she claims she didn’t. WTF?

Also, some excerpts from Fergie’s show have begun to come out, and it’s just… ugh. I mean, I imagine it will be good television just to see how delusional she is and what a pathological liar she is, but I wish some of Oprah’s sycophants would call Fergie out on her BS:

Sarah Ferguson broke down in tears on US television as she said she had been left feeling “emotionally bankrupt”, “worthless”, “unlovable” and “pointless” by the years of abuse. Telling how she had been scarred by the behaviour of her late mother, Susan Barrantes, she said: “I looked in the mirror this morning and went, ‘Well, no wonder no one loves you – you are so disgusting.’”

The Duchess made the emotional disclosures in a six-part documentary series for US the Opera Winfrey Network in which she is filmed undergoing therapy. In the show, called Finding Sarah, the Duke of York’s former wife revealed how her mother spotted a vein on her forehead when she was a toddler which she believed to be a sign of the antichrist.

The Duchess recalled: “When she used to hit me because I didn’t sit on my potty or wouldn’t eat, a little vein would come up on the centre of my head near my red hair… It’s just the way I was brought up. No wonder I’m so flawed.”

She went on to disclose that she blamed herself for the break up of her parents’ marriage after Barrantes left her father for an Argentinian polo player.

She said: “I believed I caused my mother to leave and therefore I am worthless and unlovable.”

Wiping her eyes with a pink handkerchief, the Duchess went on: “Dad, who was a tough military man, said, ‘You need to get rid of all your ponies because there’s no one here to look after them. . . your mum has gone.’ Every time I got upset he would call me a sheep’s ass and tell me I looked like a clown and to grow up and stop being so silly. So I did. I shut up and never said a word.”

But the Duchess went on to tell how her daughters, Beatrice, 22, and Eugenie, 21, are a constant source of support and encouragement.

She said: “The girls are solid, confident, fabulous and they do really well… they have seen me sabotage myself and learn from my mistakes. They believe in me and love me.”
Finding Sarah will premiere in the US on Sunday, June 12.

[From The Telegraph]

Do I believe that Fergie had a difficult childhood? Sure. Do I believe that she probably suffered emotional abuse from her crazy parents? Sure. But I also believe that at some point in one’s life, you really have to take responsibility for your own actions. I believe that about Linnocent’s “I’m just a crackheaded child” act, and I believe that about Fergie’s “I’m a victim!” tour. Her mother didn’t make her peddle influence to the highest bidder. Her mother didn’t make her lie about everything and anything to this day. She’s 51 years old – it’s beyond time to take responsibility for your own crap.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Sarah Ferguson has given yet another lie-filled, delusional, insane interview. This, coming on the heels of her wildly offensive Oprah interview in which she compared herself to Princess Diana and said that she was “glad” both she and Diana “missed the wedding” of Prince William and Kate Middleton. It was all very tacky and gross. Anyway, Fergie has a new series on Oprah’s network called Finding Sarah, in which Fergie goes around to Oprah’s new-agey, barky friends and gets advise. The full piece is here, but I’ve got the excerpts below. You can really get the flavor of how insane and sad she is, and how she desperately wants to be painted as a victim:

Fergie on not being invited to the wedding: “Ah, well,” she says with a wistful smile and a shrug. “My girls”–the princesses Beatrice, 22, and Eugenie, 21–”are going. They’re a part of the royal family, and they’re a tremendous credit to me. People move on, you know?” she adds by way of expressing her feelings about not being one of the 1,900 guests. In fact, she has never met Kate Middleton. “I understand that they didn’t invite me. I’m divorced from Prince Andrew. I think it’s a new chapter and a fresh page. It’s very good news and Diana would be very proud.”

On being photographed for Bazaar: “I got rather shy and modest and feeling a bit round like a teapot,” she says. Her struggles with her weight have been mercilessly documented, and she herself has written five books with Weight Watchers, for which she has been a spokesperson. “I felt very insecure, actually,” she goes on. “I said, ‘Oh, nothing’s gonna fit.’ I got Beatrice on the line, and I said, ‘Beatrice, look, Mum’s having a freak-out.’ And so she spoke to the stylist and said, ‘Look, it’s okay, this is how you deal with Mum.’” Beatrice suggested finding a structured look that accentuated her mother’s trim waist. “And she calmed everything down.”

On being a mother: “The only thing I know I’ve done 100 percent right is be a good mother. I’m proud to say I’m the best mom I know. People say to me, ‘What is your brand identity?’ And I say, ‘I’m a global mother.’”

On her scandal where she was caught on tape, selling access to the royal family: “It shocked me to the roots of my whole being,” she says now of the scandal. Buckingham Palace issued a statement denying that Andrew had any prior knowledge of his ex-wife’s activities, which Ferguson staunchly confirms. “He felt very, very sorry for me,” she says. “He was so angry that I should have been trapped, ’cause he knows me. He knows I would never, ever put him in a position that would compromise him, ever!”

Fergie’s lies continue: In an interview with Oprah Winfrey in the wake of the scandal, the duchess explained her behavior by saying she had been drinking and was desperate for money to help a friend and was herself facing “substantial” debts compounded by the collapse of her lifestyle company, Hartmoor. (Her income from her divorce settlement is reportedly only £15,000, around $24,750, a year.) Now she claims it was all a big misunderstanding. “I didn’t do that, selling access,” she says, furrowing her brow. The masquerading Indian mogul, she explains, “said he wanted to start a business with me, and I said, ‘If you’re going to invest in my business, with that comes my family, because we’re all a team together.’ But the way it came across in the video, it was so horrible, because they cut it and edited it and changed it, chopped it.”

More lies: As if knowing this all sounds a bit like rewriting history, she adds, “It was a huge lapse in judgment. People misconstrue who you are,” Ferguson says plaintively. “They think you’re this, but in fact you’re that. Yes, okay, you’ve made many mistakes, but it still doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. You’ve just taken a few wrong turns.”

Fergie on the Queen: “[She] is the most wonderful, forgiving, nonjudgmental person I know.”

On her ex, The Duke of York: “He’s a great man,” Ferguson stresses, “and a first-rate father and the bestest friend.” With help from Andrew, she says, she is once again debt free. “I love him. He’s my soulmate. It’s actually what we said in front of God at the altar: We honor and respect each other until death do us part. The only thing is, he has girlfriends and I have boyfriends.” (She doesn’t have a boyfriend now, but she says, “I would love a boyfriend.”)

Regrets: “I would have fought for Andrew and I to be together after we got married and he went to sea [with the Royal Navy] and I saw him 40 days a year for the first five years of our marriage. I would have never let anyone come between us. Actually, one of the people [at Buckingham Palace], who shall remain nameless, said, ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, you’re just a naval wife. Put up with it. Everyone else has to.’ I would say, ‘No, I’m going to be with him.’ I really was in love. We both were madly in love. I remember walking up the aisle,” she says of their July 1986 wedding, “and how he turned round and looked at me in his naval uniform.”

On her OWN show, Finding Sarah: Ferguson describes it as “a woman’s search for really, truly knowing herself and how you find self-worth.” Over six episodes, Ferguson asks self-improvement gurus like Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, and life coach Martha Beck to help her “get sorted.” “Dr. Phil told me, ‘You’re an addict, Sarah,’” she says. “I looked at him, thinking, Rats, what kind of addiction do I have? And he said to approval and acceptance, and I went, Yay! It’s fantastic, because you’ve now labeled my problem and I can deal with it. And Suze Orman,” she adds, “she said you don’t have a money problem; what you have is an addiction to giving out so much. I felt I had to buy a lot of presents because I never thought I was worthy. I think my financial problems have come from desperately trying to please, from my addiction to approval and to thinking that I’m not worthy, so I have to buy people’s love. What I didn’t have until Oprah came into my life,” she adds, “and [the reason] I am so grateful to her, was the toolbox to know how to handle the twists in the road.”

She won’t sell out the royal family anymore: “It won’t happen again,” she says, “because I’m awake now. I’m aware of my behavior…. I was raised by the housekeeper… I’m very lucky, though. I have a very lucky life. I’m able to travel. I have great friends who have been very generous. I’ve got a wonderful family. Andrew and the girls are really the most extraordinary people you’ll ever meet. So the fairy tale does go on,” she says with a faint smile. “It’s just that my fairy tale has a slightly different ending.”

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

So, basically, Finding Sarah is about people sitting around and telling Fergie that her biggest problem in life is that she simply GIVES TOO MUCH. That she LOVES TOO MUCH. That she’s simply too generous. You know what this reminds me of? Heather Mills!! Aren’t Fergie and Heather strikingly similar? They want to be seen as these incredible humanitarians whose biggest faults are simply their enormous hearts, when in reality, both share the same delusions of grandeur, the same hyper-narcissism, the same cracked-out hustle to get MORE, more money, more attention, more sympathy, more, more, more.

Here are some additional photos from Fergie’s Bazaar shoot, plus some photos of her at last night’s Amfar gala in Cannes.

Photos courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar and Fame.

Even though her ex-husband and two daughters were invited, Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson was pointedly NOT invited to the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. It might been for any of the following reasons: Fergie is crazy; Fergie is too deranged to keep her lies straight; Fergie whores out her connection to the royal family for profit; Fergie might in fact be an actual hooker. So, basically, I wouldn’t want her at any wedding either. She’s a disaster. But being publicly shunned isn’t going to stop Fergie! No, she appears on Oprah this week to discuss how it was “so difficult” not to go to the wedding, and then she precedes to speak about Princess Diana like she’s channeling Diana’s ghost or something. Bitch please.

Did Sarah Ferguson — the Duchess of York — put a curse on the House of Windsor after she was excluded from her nephew William’s royal wedding?

Not exactly, but it wasn’t a feel-good moment for Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice’s mom — who divorced Prince Andrew after 10 years in 1996 and was mired in scandal last year, when she attempted to sell royal access to a journalist.

“I was not invited,” Ferguson, 51, says on Wednesday’s The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Instead, during the festivities when Beatrice, 22, and Eugenie, 21, rocked talked-about fascinators outside Westminster Abbey, “I chose to go and be in Thailand in a place called Camelia . . . the jungle embraced me,” Ferguson explained.

The snub “was so difficult,” the former royal continued. “Because I wanted to be there with my girls … to be getting them dressed and to go as a family.”

She added: “Also, it was so hard, because the last bride up that aisle was me.” (Ferguson and Prince Andrew, 51, tied the knot in Westminster Abbey on July 23, 1986.)

Ferguson and her ex-husband, who remain amicable, were in contact during Prince William and Kate’s historic day. “When Andrew went with the girls, we were talking all morning and he was saying, ‘It’s okay. Just remember we had such a good day. Our wedding was so perfect.’ Because we’re such a unit together. He made me feel very part of the day on April the 29th.”

She did, in fact, catch the coverage from Thailand — and looked back fondly on Prince William’s late mother, Princess Diana. “I think Diana would be so proud of her son. Both of them, you know? They did a great job.”

Ferguson has frequently spoken of her kinship with the late Diana, who passed away in 1997 at age 36. “I really love the feeling that sort of Diana and I both weren’t there,” she told Oprah. “But I’m here to say how proud she would have been and Kate looked utterly beautiful.”

In the midst of her scandal, she admitted that she understood not being invited by her former in-laws. “I went through the phase of feeling so totally worthless and that [it] was quite right they didn’t invite me. Why would they — why would they invite me?”

Of her embarrassing flub, she explained: “I felt that I ostracized myself by my behavior, by the past, by living with all the regrets of my mistakes, that I sort of wore a hair shirt and beat myself up most of the day thinking and regretting why did I make such a mistake? Why have I made so many mistakes?”

She’ll explain all in her new OWN network TV show, Finding Sarah, which debuts in June.

[From Us Weekly]

Dear God. Over the course of years, I’ve gone from feeling genuine sympathy for Fergie (she was mistreated) to outright disgust with her. The bribing scandal was terrible, and she still hasn’t really answered many of the direct questions about getting paid for influence peddling. But this – “I really love the feeling that sort of Diana and I both weren’t there… But I’m here to say how proud she would have been and Kate looked utterly beautiful.” Jesus. You don’t talk that way about someone like Diana. Fergie’s still selling, selling, selling her connections to these people, and now she’s even whoring out Diana’s memory? While Diana and Fergie were close at one point, they fell apart in later years, and in retrospect, that was a great decision for Diana. Fergie is crazy, and she’s a balls-out user.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The wedding invitations have gone out for Prince William and “Waity” Katy Middleton’s April nuptials, and now media outlets are reporting on who did and did not get an invite. On the invitation list: David and Victoria Beckham, and Kanye West, apparently (USA Today compiled another list here). Not on the invitation list: President Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama and Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York. Considering that HRH The Duke of York and his two daughters, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie will be in attendance, Fergie’s absence is notable, but not surprising. After all, this is the crazy woman who went on Oprah and couldn’t answer one single question about her finances honestly. Probably because she’s something of a high-class royal consort/hooker…? Anyway, PopEater has a piece on how Fergie is super-upset that she didn’t get an invite:

The Queen has sent out over 1,800 invitations to attend the wedding of grandson Prince William and Kate Middleton, but has not invited The Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson. Leaving Will’s auntie in tears over the Royal snub.

“Sarah is devastated that she hasn’t been invited,” a friend of the ex-royal tells me. “Hasn’t she been punished enough by the family? Sarah is down on her luck and this is the same as kicking a person while they are down.”

Sarah’s 10-year marriage to Prince Andrew ended in 1996 but recently made headlines after she was caught trying to sell press access to her ex-husband to an undercover reporter from The News of the World. Since then her already strained relationship with the palace has been almost non-existent.

“Sarah was hoping that the wedding would provide her with the opportunity to spend quality time with the family and prove she can and does deserve to be part of the family,” an insider tells me. “Any hope she ever had of being invited back into the fold is over. Sarah might be the last person on earth to finally get it but even she knows now she’s not welcome.”

The service will begin at Westminster Abby at 11:00 a.m. With Prince Harry serving as Best Man and Kate’s sister, Pippa, will be Maid of Honor.

The invitation that Sarah sadly did not receive reads: “The Lord Chamberlain is commanded by the Queen to invite [name] to the marriage of His Royal Highness Prince William of Wales, K.G. with Miss Catherine Middleton at Westminster Abbey on Friday, 29th April, 2011 at 11.00 a.m.”

Aside from family, friends and dignitaries, reported invitees include David and Victoria Beckham, Elton John and Kanye West.

“The Duchess will be watching the wedding on television just like the rest of the world, but not from England,” a friend tells me. “It will be too painful for her to be in London. She will be abroad. Once again trying to start her life knowing that kissing a prince doesn’t guarantee a happy ending.”

[From PopEater]

Oh, for goodness sake. Enough with the self-absorbed martyrdom, Fergie. Your crazy ass didn’t deserve an invitation! However, it is kind of shocking to me that the President and First Lady didn’t get one. Usually, the Queen is kind of pushy about getting lots of heads of state to come out for a big shin-dig, but I guess not this time.

Here’s the invite, by the way (so you know what to expect!) – I like the “The Lord Chamberlain is COMMANDED by The Queen…” I want to be commanded by The Queen.

Invite via HuffPo. Additional pics by WENN.

Since it looks like a slow gossip afternoon, I decided to do this story on yet another scandalous Fergie story. Like the great disservice Fergie did to herself with yesterday’s Oprah interview, this new story has the potential to leave Fergie’s reputation in tatters. Unfortunately, it’s coming from the bottom dregs of the gossip world. So why am I talking about it? Because I think there’s something there. So… the story: Fergie is basically a high-class hooker. Because of the affection many people have for the British monarchy, and because many men see Fergie as a high-profile “get” for their bedpost, some sources have been alleging that Fergie has been supporting herself financially by prostituting herself to wealthy gentlemen. Unfortunately, I think the Globe got their story from Ian Undercover:

A day after being caught, in an undercover sting, of accepting a 500,000 pound offer in exchange for access to her ex husband Prince Andrew, new allegations have surfaced against the Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson. According to a former press attache for the Duchess, it was not the first time she accepted cash on a table.

“Sarah’s always making surreptitious deals for cash, she’s a throwback to the old way of doing business,” the source said. The press attache claims Ferguson spent a week on a luxury, 65 metre yacht three years ago with two wealthy Saudi oil tycoons. As part of the deal, which reportedly paid the Duchess 300,000 pounds cash in a suitcase, the Duchess agreed to participate in sexual activities with the two wealthy oil tycoons.

“She had no problem with their demands for sex because she Sarah loves to get down and dirty,” the source told IUC. “In fact when she returned to Britain a week later I overheard her talking to a friend, bragging about her new enterprise. She said she had ‘a much needed wild time’ and in the process got paid for it.”

A royal insider close to Fergie told IUC he did not think Fergie would participate in such a “seedy enterprise”.

“Certainly, she’s not the most ethical person,” the source said. “But selling her body, I just don’t think she’d do it. Sarah’s not that type of person.”

Back in 1992, Ferguson was the center of another Royal sex scandal when she got caught cheating on her husband with wealthy businessmen, once with Texas tycoon/playboy Steve Wyatt, the other with wealthy financial manager John Bryan who was photographed sucking on the toes of a topless Fergie.

“Sarah likes to sleep with wealthy men in exchange for cash,” one of the Ferguson’s longtime Chelsea pals told IUC. “She did this in boarding school and also when she attended Queen’s Secretarial College. When she got engaged to Andrew all her close friends were shocked because of her dodgy past. We all knew there would be a lot of trouble ahead.”

[From Ian Undercover]

Could this all be bullsh-t? Of course. Do I disbelieve Ian Undercover on general principal? Of course. But after Fergie scrambled and equivocated to Oprah on the issue of money, question after question, you do have to ask – how has she been supporting herself all of these years? Yes, she’s a successful author. But she lives large, and she’s a horrible businesswoman, and that’s why she’s in so much debt right now. I really do think there could be something to this story, just because it would make so much sense.

Globe cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

CB previewed Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson’s appearance on Oprah in a post yesterday morning (in a post about Fergie blaming the liquor), but I just have to talk about how crazy Fergie was now that I watched the full one-hour interview. Does anyone else think that Fergie did not help her case whatsoever with her appearance? Granted, she wasn’t Rielle Hunter-batsh-t-crazy, but she was still intensely dumb and oblivious. Exactly what turned me off about Fergie only occurred to me about halfway through the interview – she was wallowing in self-pity (“I think I’ve been a huge over-trusting idiotic stupid woman.”), but hiding it behind a veneer of being honest and straight-forward and taking the blame. She made “taking the blame” sound like a monumental achievement, when it’s like “Uh, who else should take the blame, Fergie? You did it.” I’m still flabbergasted that no one is really talking about a potential criminal investigation into the bribing scandal. Do you think Prince Andrew had to diffuse that one?

There were two points that stuck with me as being the most blatant lies – one, that this was all happening because Fergie wanted to “help” a friend who needed $38,000 (when Fergie asked for $40,000 upfront and a $700,000 wire transfer), and two, that Fergie had never done anything like this before. I’m not Eyes For Lies or Tim Roth on Lie To Me, but even I could see Fergie’s blatant lie when she answered that question. She’s a horrible liar, just shifty as hell. Princess Diana was so much better at everything!

Anyway, many of the reviews of Fergie’s performance are less than stellar, to say the least. The interview is even getting significant play across the pond, where The Telegraph declared that “Fergie’s bizarre defense of her actions in an undercover sting video, frequently in third person, did nothing to dispel the feeling that she has lost complete control of her image. Much of the interview had an absurdist quality to it.” The Baltimore Sun’s media critic also had problems with Fergie’s bizarre use of the third person:

After seeing the Oprah interview today, I have no empathy for the Duchess of York. She is as good at rationalizing away accountability and guilt as Edwards and Hunter combined — and I think Edwards is one of the lowest forms of life on this planet.

Ferguson said that she only met with the businessman because she had a friend who “urgently needed” $38,000. That seemed to take even Oprah aback.

But the strangest thing about the interview was Ferguson’s attempt — or maybe ability — to disassociate herself from the person in the film who is shown peddling influence with all the sleaze the term suggest.

“Actually, I feel really sorry for her,” Ferguson says of the person on the screen, who happens to be her. “She looks exhausted…It’s sad.”

And when Oprah says to Ferguson that it’s “interesting” (as only Oprah can something is “interesting”) that she speaks of herself in the third person that way, Ferguson launches into a psych-talk spiel about how she spent her whole life trying to be “perfect, and she acted the way she did in part because she had been “on the road” for months and “working so hard.”

A lot of us get exhausted and work real hard, Sarah, but we don’t try to sell access to our ex for a bag with $40,000 cash in it and a pledge from our new business friend that he will wire another 500,000 pounds to our bank account at a future date. Oprah, who is a very good interviewer, asked her about the extra 500,000 pounds.

“I just took a long shot,” Ferguson said.

At least, Ferguson didn’t put it in the third person and say, “That poor, exhausted, but generous woman who only met with that sleazy reporter because a friend needed $38,000 just took a long shot.”

[From The Baltimore Sun]

Ha! Was Fergie using “the royal we”. Allegedly, Queen Elizabeth speaks of herself as “we”. As in, “We are not amused” when she means “I am not amused.” Honestly, though, I don’t think Fergie was putting on airs or trying to act royal when she spoke about herself in the third person. I think she was dissociating to elicit the viewers pity. “Oh, look at the poor old thing.” And we’re all supposed to say, “Oh, no, you’re fine!” Eh. I don’t think I want her in America. Britain, can you take this psycho grifter back?

Header: Fergie on May 26, 2010. Credit: WENN.

The former Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson was caught up in a bribing scandal about a week ago when a video surfaced of her soliciting a $750,000 bribe in exchange for a meeting with her ex husband, Prince Andrew. Andrew is the UK’s “Special Representative for International Trade and Investment,” which means that he makes business deals for England around the world. Fergie hasn’t hidden from the scandal and both issued an apology admitting guilt and made pre-scheduled public appearances, including an ill-timed event honoring her charity efforts.

Fergie lives with Prince Andrew in a home in London provided for her by the royal family along with her daughters, Princesses Beatrice, 21 and Eugenie, 20. It’s thought that Andrew has already forgiven Sarah and pledged that she can continue living with him as long as she would like. They’ve been called “the world’s happiest divorced couple,” and are said to be best friends.

Now the former Duchess is doing the ultimate in mea culpa interviews with a visit to Oprah. Her interview airs today, and advance details have her admitting that she has a drinking problem and that she’s broke. I’m really wondering how much Prince Andrew was involved and if he either turned a blind eye toward her schemes or was complicit in them. In her apology, Fergie denied that Andrew had any knowledge of the bribe, and said he “was not aware or involved in any of the discussions that occurred.” However, in the tape she told her would-be benefactor that “[Prince Andrew] knows that he’s had to underwrite me up to now because I’ve got no money.”

The devil — and booze — made her do it.

When Sarah Ferguson asked an undercover reporter for more than $700,000 in exchange for access to ex Prince Andrew — the chat was caught on tape — she was in dire straits indeed.

But has she seen the incriminating tape?

“I haven’t faced the devil in the face, because I was in the gutter at the moment,” the Duchess of York, 50, admits on the Oprah Winfrey Show in an episode airing Tuesday.

“I”m aware of the fact that I’ve been drinking, you know, that I was not in the right place.”

Insiders close to the British “Fergie” tell Us Weekly that they weren’t surprised by her bold, reckless act. “She’s totally broke,” one source insists. “Her desperation led to the lack of judgment.”

The source adds that the mother of Beatrice, 21, and Eugenie, 20, is “a shopaholic, obsessed with designers like Chanel and Hermes…she didn’t know how to stop living like a royal.”

Her next step? “She wants to start fresh in America.”

Fergie has even expressed interest in participating in the next Dancing with the Stars.

[From US Weekly]

We have just as much booze and shopping in America, maybe more so (because the stores and bars are open later!) than in England, so Fergie is going to have to face her demons no matter where she ends up. In the US she wouldn’t be hounded as much by the press, though, because we have more minor celebrities to occupy us.

Last week, Bill Zwecker in the Chicago Sun Times claimed that a “very rich” British man offered Fergie “a posh Upper East Side apartment rent-free for a year.” Zwecker also mentioned that Fergie said in a 2006 interview that she would love to do Dancing With The Stars. Maybe this scandal will help her get sober and back on her feet. She could have increased her celebrity factor enough to warrant a DWTS invitation. If celebrity mistresses can earn opportunities and notoriety, then Fergie can get some mileage out of a thwarted attempt to accept a payoff.

Sarah Ferguson is shown at a book signing in NY on 5/26/10 and out in NY on 5/25/10. Credit: Barcroft Media/Fame Pictures

I realize many of you don’t care about the royal scandal involving the News of the World catching Fergie in a pay-to-play scandal, but I’m finding the whole situation fascinating. As I summarized on Monday, the NOTW sent an undercover reporter into a meeting with Fergie – the reporter was acting as a “businessman” who was looking for a meeting with Prince Andrew and other members of the royal family. The NOTW got Fergie on tape discussing the pay-off: a wire transfer of about $750,000, plus $60,000 cash. Since the scandal broke over the weekend, many wondered if Fergie was still going to be welcome to events with her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, The Duke of York. The Mirror is running a front-page story which paints Andrew in a very nice light, I think. Apparently, Andrew’s feelings on the whole situation are along the lines of “Whatever.” Fergie offered to move out of the London home they share (with their daughters) but Andrew wouldn’t have it. Aw… that’s kind of sweet, isn’t it?

Tearful Fergie was forgiven by ex-husband Prince Andrew yesterday for her “cash for access” scam. He sympathised as she poured out her heart in an emotional phone call.

The sobbing Duchess apologised for betraying his trust – and even offered to quit the room she has at his Windsor mansion. But Andrew told her: “Don’t be silly, you can stay as long as you like.”

A friend said: “He’s a very caring person. He thinks she was set up.”

It has been four years since their divorce was finalised, but Prince Andrew and Fergie have remained the best of pals. And yesterday the unique bond between the royal “odd couple” was evident again – as Andrew pardoned his ex-wife’s latest monumental indiscretion. He told her he forgave her after she was exposed in newspaper sting operation trying to sell an introduction to him to a bogus businessmen for £500,000.

And in an astonishing show of loyalty to the woman he has loved for 25 years, the Duke of York promised she could stay in his house “as long as you like”.

After emotional talks with the couple’s daughters Beatrice and Eugenie, he has vowed to dig Fergie out of her financial problems and help her to recover from the depths of despair. It will shock royal courtiers and annoy his parents, particularly Prince Philip, who wanted Andrew to make a clean break after their divorce in 1996. But many will welcome the move at a time when friends fear she may be “suicidal”.

Those closest to her say she has been a “quivering wreck” since the scandal broke. Fergie was taped as she accepted a $40,000 “down payment” for access to Andrew, Britain’s Special Trade envoy – even though he knew nothing about it.

Distraught Fergie, 50, had already offered to move out of Royal Lodge, the Queen Mother’s old home at Windsor, where she has lived in a rented room under the same roof as her ex-husband for nearly two years. But a friend revealed the prince has turned that offer down flat, telling her: “Don’t be so silly.”

Fergie spoke to him in a tearful phone call from her suite in the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel in Los Angeles, where she had just picked up an award for her charity work. She sobbed for several minutes, begging his forgiveness. She told him she had betrayed his trust and she would move out as soon as she returned to the UK. But the friend revealed: “Andrew told her to calm down and get a grip. He is a very caring person, a loving father and he told Sarah not to be so silly. He told her she had been set up and although she had clearly made a massive mistake, he wasn’t going to kick her out on to the streets. He knows she can’t afford anywhere – that’s why he let her stay at Royal Lodge in the first place.”

The friend continued: “The other major reason was because Bea and Eugenie like being close to their mum. Whatever else she is, Sarah has always been an excellent parent and Andrew admires her for that. His attitude is that he isn’t going to tear his family apart because of one week’s bad headlines.”

Fergie, who smiled and waved to well-wishers as she left a New York hotel yesterday, is said to be “in limbo” following the weekend’s revelations and does not know where to turn. But she can now at least rely on the support of the one man who has always stood by her, no matter what.

The pal said: “Booting Sarah out would only have made things worse. She wouldn’t be able to cope and it could have tipped her over the edge. The fact is that when say they are the world’s happiest divorced couple, they really mean it. Sometimes you cannot understand why they split up in the first place. They will always be best friends and although the set-up seems weird to many people, it works for them.”

[From The Mirror]

I actually thought the scandal around Fergie would be a lot bigger. She should thank her lucky stars that Andrew and the other royals don’t have their diamond-encrusted shivs out. If I was Andrew, I would be pissed at her – she wasn’t even selling herself, like a proper hooker. She was pimping out Andrew, her EX husband. The fact that Andrew seems to be so understanding and nice about it makes me wonder if he really understands how this scandal impacts his reputation. Still, Andrew was always my favorite of the Windsors. He seems like the most normal one.

Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson (the former H.R.H. The Duchess of York) is caught up in a major bribery scandal. In one of their famous “undercover investigations,” the News of the World sent a reporter posing as a businessman into a meeting with Fergie. Not-so-long story short, they have Fergie on video negotiating in explicit terms just what the “businessman” will get if he gives wires $750,000 into her account, plus $60,000 cash: access to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, the Duke of York. Andrew is Britain’s international business and trade representative, and travels the world meeting with businessmen and making deals. Not these kinds of deals, though. Here’s the video:

In case you can‘t watch the video, Fergie is saying sh-t like, “He [Prince Andrew] knows that he’s had to underwrite me up to now because I’ve got no money. So if you want to meet him in your business, look after me and he’ll look after you. . . you’ll get it back tenfold.” And once the deal is hammered out, Fergie brags, “That opens up everything you would ever wish for. And I can open any door you want. And I will for you.” There’s more transcribed dialogue on the News of the World’s site. According to their piece, they began investigating Fergie after one of her associates told them that she was “already cashing in on unknowing Andrew by setting up deals with foreign businessmen. She even claimed she had set up a new company last month to handle the dodgy transactions.”

So, of course, Fergie had to come out and apologize. She fell on her sword admirably, I guess: “I very deeply regret the situation and the embarrassment caused. It is true that my financial situation is under stress however, that is no excuse for a serious lapse in judgement and I am very sorry that this has happened. I can confirm that The Duke of York was not aware or involved in any of the discussions that occurred. I am sincerely sorry for my actions. The Duke has made a significant contribution to his business role over the last 10 years and has always acted with complete integrity.” Prince Andrew also denied having any idea that Fergie was using his name to collect money.

Personally, I find it shocking that Fergie would abuse her ex-husband’s name in this way. I’ve felt for a long time that they were still very close, and still loved each other very much, and it’s kind of depressing that she would treat him so poorly. Plus, I’m sure what she was doing was illegal…?

Many of us have someone, often in their family, who we feel competitive with. This is often fueled by comparisons people make, sometimes well-intentioned and sometimes not. For example my grandmother recently described my cousin as ‘fat’, and commented on how successful her sister had been losing the baby weight. Said cousin was still pregnant at the time.

This is bad enough, but can you imagine being pitted against a pretty, glamorous relative on a global scale? Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, says that the media’s cruelty to her contributed to her eating issues. She doesn’t say that comparisons to Princess Diana made it worse, but that’s what I got from her comments:

‘It’s pretty hard to change people’s perceptions,’ she says. And, back then, it really mattered to her what people thought. She said she’d read headlines such as princess of pork or 82 per cent of men say they’d rather sleep with a goat than Fergie, and she’d take them all to heart. ‘I just believed they were true,’ she says. ‘I was so unhappy I ate all the time, and then I was pilloried for being overweight, and on the cycle went. I didn’t know how to break it.’

Telegraph

Wikipedia notes that Princess Diana was noted for her ‘compassion, style, charisma, and high-profile charity work, as well as her difficult marriage to Prince Charles’. Despite Sarah’s charity work, she is best known for her Weight Watchers endorsements and friendly relationship with her ex-husband. Sarah and Diana were friends and talked about their public image, says Sarah.

“I remember quite clearly Diana saying to me: ‘Well, it’s easier for you. I’m at the top of the pedestal, and I have only one way to go. You are at the bottom, so you can really only go up.”‘

Sydney Morning Herald

Wow, that must have made Fergie feel much better, having the Queen-in-waiting try and cheer her on. Although maybe that kind of stiff upper lip attitude is how they do it in Britain.

Despite being a public figure in Britain, which has the most vicious tabloid newspapers in the world, Fergie says she’d do it all over again, but better.

You have to think of the Royal family as being like a brand, yah? There are CEOs protecting the brand, and I didn’t really fit in. Maybe if I’d had an adviser to lead me through it all I would have weathered it a bit better. I wish I had done it differently. I wish I could do it all over again.’

‘Really?’ I ask her. After all the criticism and ridicule, she’d still go back into the public eye, despite knowing how potentially difficult it all is? ‘Oh, yes,’ she says enthusiastically. ‘I’d still marry Andrew, of course. He is a wonderful man. I’d just deal with it better. I’d ride the storms. I’d see that what is said about me is here one day and gone the next. At the time I thought I had failed. Now I think I was successful in a way, successful at failing.’

Telegraph

That’s one way to turn failure on it’s head, by declaring it a success at failing. Sarah has managed to raise two children who have yet to be photographed in a compromising manner (exiting clubs, yes, but not doing anything notable), raise funds for charity and maintain a good relationship with her ex-husband. She is also a producer on a new film starring Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria.

Sarah Ferguson is shown on 12/6/08 and 11/29/08 signing copies of her children’s book Tea for Ruby. Credit: WENN